Scorpion (2014–2018): Season 3, Episode 17 - Dirty Seeds, Done Dirt Cheap - full transcript

(snoring)
How long as he been like this?
Found him when we came in.
"How to Get Your Point Across in 30 Seconds Or Less."
Well, guess he was up all night prepping for that debate.
He's pushing himself so hard.
I feel like it's my fault.
It is.
Why don't you get Patel to quit so that Sly
can win alderman by default?
Oh, you don't know my boss.
Patel is as competitive as they come.
I'll tell Mr. Weiner!
I don't want to know what he was dreaming about.
Sly, you okay?
Uh, no, I-I was dreaming
that it was the debate, but jocks from my middle school
were snapping their towels at me.
I hate to ask, but Mr. Weiner?
My middle school gym teacher.
Thank God.
CABE: Sly, you got to pull it together there
or this debate
is gonna be a bloodbath.
He's not kidding.
If Patel senses weakness, he will pounce.
Oh, speaking of which, if I'm late for work he'll pounce, too.
Thanks for breakfast.
Sylvester, good luck.
(yawns)
TOBY: All right.
Let's wake you up, get some tea in you.
In my dream, my boxers were made of pimento loaf.
What does that mean?
That you're messed up.
Pimento loaf.
Morning!
Post-lunch dessert's on us.
Froyo-Ma? Walt was banned from that place.
Not anymore, thanks to Paige.
She explained to me how the clerk interpreted
his one loyalty-card punch per purchase policy,
and despite him being completely wrong...
Uh-tut-tut...
...I-I accepted
that reasonable people could disagree,
so I apologized to him for my behavior,
because saying sorry is not a sign of weakness,
it is a sign of strength.
Walter apologizing is a sign of the apocalypse.
But i-if it means we get to eat froyo...
Uh-uh. For after lunch.
I got to stop leaving him with you people.
I'm helping with his President's Day assignment.
Getting him ready to cross the Delaware, so to speak.
And we got to get ready to cross the Valley.
We got a photo op at the Encino Petting Zoo.
Petting zoo? Lots of kids.
Kids love comics.
You go in there and talk about keeping
the Warlock's Chest open,
parents like you,
you get votes.
I'm not going to a petting zoo,
they have chickens.
And...?
And when I was in sixth grade,
we went to a petting zoo, and the same jocks from my dream
locked me in the chicken pen.
Beaks, talons, they're covered in their own fecal matter;
it was terrifying.
I can still hear Bucky Hanson laughing.
"Here is Sylvester, a chicken afraid of chickens!"
WALTER: Fear is irrational.
You're gonna scare yourself out of this election.
You're scared of snakes.
I was scared of snakes, until I reevaluated my position on them,
from a rational point of view, and now my phobia is no more.
Self-improvement is my new passion.
Speaking of which, I'm gonna...
I'm gonna call that waitress up from Kovelsky's
who kept on pronouncing gyro as "jyro,"
and apologize.
You've created a monster.
I'm gonna reread the Lincoln/Douglas debates.
We're not done talking about the petting zoo.
Got you mocha.
Does that work for you?
Oh, I can't even think about food.
I'm chock full of chia seeds.
I accidentally ordered a fauxmelet,
a tofu omelet with chia seeds.
It was like somebody hocked up a loogie on my plate.
How did you accidentally order an omelet?
I don't want Allie to see me wearing my reading glasses.
Why not? You look cute in your glasses.
Grandpas look cute in their glasses.
I'm a Marine, damn it. It's just that...
She's 15 years younger than me.
Really?
See? We're like one of those sitcom couples
where the woman's too good-looking for the guy.
I don't want to be Ralph Kramden to her Alice.
I don't get the reference.
God, I'm a dinosaur.
Stop it.
You're a darn good-looking man
with a ton to offer.
Best tires have some wear on them, right?
No. People prefer new tires.
(phone ringing)
Cabe Gallo.
(whispering): Saved by the bell.
(gasps) Oh, God.
You startled me.
I wanted to thank you for the yogurt.
Also, I wanted to add...
I know exactly what you're gonna say:
"You and Walter have been spending lots of time together
and does that mean you're more than just friends?"
Answer: We're not.
Actually, I wanted to say
that I think you're doing a terrific job.
Getting 197 to apologize?
That is amazing work.
Thank you. De nada.
Now if you just hand over one of those froyos...
Not till after lunch.
CABE: Gather up, brainiacs, we got a case!
The Granse World Seed Vault in Greenland,
built after the success of the Svalbard Global Seed Vault.
It's an international cooperative
of over thousands of varieties of every crop
and plant you can imagine from over a hundred countries.
It protects crop diversity against catastrophes
like the great famine that killed over a million Irish.
It ensures the world has backup seeds
in case disease, parasites
or climate change destroys agricultural output.
It also safeguards against warfare-caused starvation.
But cooler than what's in the vault is the facility.
Unmanned 360 days a year,
it is a doomsday structure built into a mountainside.
Has its own generators and computerized sensors
to control motion, temperature, humidity.
And that's the problem.
The whole system's malfunctioned.
The vault's heat and humidity have skyrocketed.
So the world's backup food supply is in jeopardy.
CABE: Exactly.
The World Seed Trust that monitors the vault
has been trying to fix things remotely
from their control center over in Finland,
but they can't navigate the multinational sourced code.
So let me guess, Scorpion does Greenland?
Uncle Sam has a jet on standby.
SYLVESTER: Ha!
It looks like I'll miss the debate.
No, we'll be back in time.
And get your head on right;
I need you focused on work, not the debate.
PAIGE: He's just nervous.
I'll keep an eye on him.
TOBY: Well, if this facility
is as autonomous as Happy says it is,
you, you're not gonna need a behaviorist.
So how about I man the fort
and I'll help Ralph finish his project.
PAIGE: Translation:
you stay toasty while we freeze our tails off.
TOBY: Well,
if the snow-shoe fits...
Don't forget to pack your long johns.
(wind gusting)
SYLVESTER: Well, now we know why nobody ever comes out here.
We're in the middle of nowhere.
Oh, guys.
The card the feds gave us doesn't work.
Lights off, power's out.
When the computer system went haywire,
it must've drained the generator.
I can use the battery from the snowcat
to give the genny a jump, once we open the doors.
There's a tangle of jumper cables in the back.
Hey. Listen.
You keep your eyes focused only on the snowcat, or otherwise...
You don't need to warn me about getting lost in a blizzard.
Been there, done that.
Okay. So how do we get through electronic doors without power?
We can brute force our way in.
We just need to use Happy's pry bar.
(metal clinks)
(creaking)
(grunting)
Open Sesame.
Got the battery, let's light this fuse.
Well, this isn't spooky at all.
CABE: What's with all the handcarts?
Inventory management robots.
They move those boxes of seeds about the vault
even when no one is here.
Even more creepy.
Generator should be down here somewhere.
WALTER (over radio): We'll still have a few things
to clean up once you find it.
I've just tapped into the vault's diagnostics,
and an electrical surge must've knocked out a fuse
in the east wing breakroom.
We won't be able to get full power back up until it's fixed.
We found the generator.
You were right about the power surge.
And the generator's also fried.
I can get minimal emergency backup power on,
but that's all we'll have until I repair it.
Might take a bit. I'll go find the breakroom.
I may not be a genius,
but I can flip a breaker switch.
And I'll find the server room to see what caused
the surge in the first place.
But since it seems you're almost done...
You don't want to wander the dark tunnels alone?
I'd prefer not to.
Well, then...
let there be light.
(clicks, whirring)
(beeping)
Cooling system just kicked in.
Things should cool down now.
(coughing)
So much for this being an antiseptic facility.
Well, this facility self-purifies its air,
but the system's been down for days, so the seeds
have decayed a bit, the vents are just stirring up seed dust.
Speaking of stirring up, I can only imagine
what kind of trouble is being stirred up in the garage.
I worry about his maturity level.
Don't. Ralph's very responsible.
I was talking about Toby.
Charge!
All right, now, channel your inner G.W.
and send your troops over.
For one, there were no pirates on the Delaware.
What Washington did was illogical.
They were outnumbered,
terrible weather...
That's exactly why he did it.
He needed a bold move that no one saw coming,
and he faced his fear, he took action and he was victorious.
Like Walter beat his fear of snakes?
Maybe, I don't know. What...
Why is that important to you?
I know he likes my mom.
And the logical thing is to ask her out.
And the most common thing to beat logic is fear,
so I figured he never asked her out 'cause he was scared.
And you thought if he conquered snakes,
he could conquer all fears.
Listen, it's... it is true that fear can beat logic,
but... logic can also beat fear,
and, uh, I think both your mom and Walter realized
that the most logical thing for them
is just to be good friends.
I know. I get it. You, you want Walter and your mom
to be more than just friends, but...
Ralph, I don't think it's gonna happen.
Look, I'm-I'm not trying to poop on your parade here.
No. I, I get it.
Hey. Let's, um...
let's turn that frown upside down.
You want to, uh, eat everyone else's else's froyo?
Yeah.
Walter, I think I know what started the surge.
Time.
Please clarify.
SYLVESTER: The server's operating system
is off by 51 seconds.
That's a second a day since one second was added
to the Atomic world clock on January 1.
But the programmers forgot to account for the extra second,
so the vault's operating system has been trying
to reconcile that with the control room in Finland,
which has the correct time.
So, the facility's processor worked faster and faster,
never able to catch up, creating an electrical surge
that fried the generator and blew a fuse.
So the whole place went dark
because the programmers forgot to synchronize their watches?
SYLVESTER: Right! But if I can get
the operating system's clock lined up with Finland's,
then I'll have this fixed.
(soft clatter)
Is anyone else getting a weird vibe?
Like...
like we're not alone?
CABE: You're just scared of the dark.
Suck it up and get cracking, 'cause I just found the fuse box
and I want us back to L.A. ASAP so we can do some debate prep.
Okay, it just feels like there's eyes on me.
PAIGE: Sly,
just know everything's fine.
Listen to my calm voice, fix the server's clock
and we'll be out of here soon.
You're right.
I'm rebooting the system now to correct the time.
Should take 40 minutes.
Ah!
HAPPY: Guys?
Did blast doors lock you in, too?
Yeah, I'm locked in, too.
SYLVESTER: Me, too.
And I'm kind of freaking out!
Relax.
The vault prioritizes keeping seeds safe
so it must go into lockdown when it's most vulnerable,
i.e. a reboot.
So the doors will open in 40 minutes when the reboot is done.
Everything is fine.
No.
No, everything is not fine.
(skittering in distance)
Walter!
Help!
They're in here. They're in here!
(screams)
♪ ♪
(Sylvester screams over radio) WALTER: Sylvester, do you copy?
What the hell's in there with him? Get him out of there.
I can't. With the emergency power back on,
the magnetic field is engaged, I can't just force my way in.
These doors are sealed tight
until the reboot's done in 40 minutes.
Listen to him, he doesn't have 40 minutes!
Then the only way these doors can go up is if Sly
manually disengages the locks
from the command console and we get full power up and running. SYLVESTER: Get me out of here!
To do that you need to repair that generator
and then Cabe needs to fix the breaker.
Easier said than done.
Damn thing's stuck tight.
I've never heard Sly like this before.
We have to help him.
Okay, I'm gonna get the closed circuit TV on now
so we can see him.
Hold on, hold on.
He's quiet now. Sly?
Are you okay? Can you hear me?
I'm here.
I was right, I am not alone.
What's going on? Who's in there with you?
Not "who"...
but "what."
It's chickens!
H-How did chickens get in?
No, they didn't.
Sylvester, how many chickens?
About 20 or so.
I'm in their coop.
He's cracked. What's wrong with him?
I have no idea, but I know who to ask.
Chickens?
Well, to steal Happy's line, not good.
I am sending you the security feed now
and linking your phone to our comms.
Okay, well, those are bona fide fear responses.
Sly, pal, I'm watching you on the monitors right now,
and there are no chickens in there with you.
They are all over!
The cameras must be broken or something!
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm sorry,
I, uh, I see 'em now, Sly.
Hey, um, Paige?
Uh, call me back on my cell right now
and conference in Happy and Cabe.
What's wrong with Sylvester?
(phone ringing) I don't know, buddy, but whatever it is, it's serious.
TOBY: Hey, guys.
I didn't want Sly to hear us. Why?
What are we hiding from him?
The fact that he's in the midst of a complete
psychotic break from reality.
Now, telling him he's imagining those chickens
will just agitate him and make things worse.
How did that happen?
It could be anything from bacteria
in something you guys ate on the flight to a brain tumor.
Now, let's first make sure you guys are okay.
Do you feel any headaches,
or dizziness, or ocular flashes?
I'm fine. No symptoms.
Nothing, I'm good.
No complaints here, except my arthritis is acting up.
You don't have arthritis, Cabe.
Tell that to my hand, I've been trying to flip this breaker
and it won't budge.
Joints are killing me.
Again, they shouldn't be,
because you don't have arthritis.
Hey, Happy, what is that
yellow powder on your tool bag?
HAPPY: Seed dust.
Okay, now, this-this could be an issue.
What kind of seeds?
Rye. Why is that important?
Because that is not seed dust,
that's seed fungus!
Claviceps purpurea,
commonly known as ergot.
Now, when the humidity increased in the vault,
ergot spores were formed.
The vent turning on
spread the fungus. Who breathed it in?
Walt and I are locked out in the entrance, no vents here.
So only Sly, Happy and Cabe.
Why?
What does it do to you?
TOBY: Its neurotropic traits
cause hallucinations, specifically affecting
the fear center in the brain.
In short, Cabe, Sly, and Happy are going to experience
their deepest fears.
We're gonna do what?
Cabe Gallo does not hallucinate.
Okay, so they have a living nightmare
and after a while they wake up?
No, no, they are not nightmares, they are false realities.
And they're so genuine that people take dangerous actions
to end them.
In doing so, they could hurt themselves
or others. Hey, Happy?
Listen to me.
Anything you might be starting to feel is not real.
It's all in your head.
Sorry, I got to go.
The bell just rang.
What-What bell? No, no, no, there's no bell. Happy?
Happy, there's no bell. (bell ringing)
(door opens)
Good afternoon, children.
HAPPY AND CHILDREN: Good afternoon, Ms. Weldy.
So today, we have visitors.
Prospective parents who are looking for
that very special child to help them form a family.
So, best behavior.
They will be watching.
And that means
no wrenches, no ratchets.
A proper toy for a proper lady.
I'll be better this time, Ms. Weldy.
Who the hell's Ms. Weldy?
PAIGE: Why does it matter?
Because if we're gonna talk these guys down,
I need to know what psychological baggage
the fungus is unpacking.
I'll hack public databases, see if I can find a Ms. Weldy
connected to Happy in some way.
No, no ,no, no.
She's my fiancée. I'll do it.
You can't, your hands are too full.
Look at Cabe.
TOBY: No, Cabe!
Don't go full zombie on me, man!
Cabe, can you hear me?
ALLIE: Arthritis acting up again, honey?
Huh?
Yeah.
It's killing me.
Still working the fuse box?
Yeah, I'm having trouble with it.
That's 'cause you were alive for so long
before electricity was invented.
It's still new to you.
(canned laughter)
What kind of casserole is that?
Kale, flaxseed, macrobiotic grains.
(canned laughter)
What should I expect from a man whose
social security number is one?
(canned laughter)
I'm not hungry.
Let's curl up on the couch and watch a movie.
We could watch Jurassic Park.
Might bring back some memories for you.
(canned laughter)
But no movie for me.
A new club opened up and I'm going dancing.
(canned laughter)
You wouldn't want to come, would you?
Me, dancing?
No.
I-I-I can't...
I can't go dancing.
On account of my arthritis.
(canned "Aw!")
WALTER: Cabe's brain's gone.
He's talking about dancing and arthritis.
He's gonna wish the only thing
he has to worry about is arthritis.
Sly's symptoms started first, so I'm keeping an eye on him
and he's getting a little unsure of foot.
What does that mean?
TOBY: It means they're in trouble and we're on the clock.
Look, if ergot exposure was extensive--
and now it appears it was--
it constricts blood vessels, especially in the brain.
If vessels are constricted, it means less blood flow;
less blood flow means less oxygen; less oxygen means...
WALTER: Coma.
You think they could all fall into a coma and die?
No, I am saying they will fall into a coma and die
in the next 30 minutes if we don't get them out of there.
TOBY: As we speak, they are all still inhaling fungus
because I am sure that vent sent out microscopic molecules
all over the place.
So we have to move fast
before exposure reaches critical mass.
The only way to open the doors is if Sly uses
the manual override from the command console,
Happy fixes the generator and Cabe repairs the fuse.
And none of them can do that
when they're out of their minds.
So we put them into their minds.
We talk 'em lucid so they can finish their tasks.
Okay ,um, I'll take Happy 'cause I know her best.
Cabe trusts Walter.
And Paige is left with Sly.
From what I can see, you got your work cut out for you.
(groans) Hey, hey, hey.
Get away from me, you foul fowl.
PAIGE: Oh, boy.
Sly, you need to move across the room to the command console.
You need to pull the door release.
Back away, hens.
I will deep-fry the lot of you.
PAIGE: Sly, if you don't listen to my instructions
you are going to die.
Avian flu.
Encephalitis virus.
(groans) Salmonella.
Poop.
Poop everywhere.
PAIGE: Sly, don't go under that desk.
I will be safe under here. Sly, I said
don't go under that desk! (Sly laughs)
Now I am protected.
PAIGE: Sly, just pull the lever!
SYLVESTER: They can't to get me in here.
I am never leaving this spot.
PAIGE: How do I get Sly
to pull a lever if he can't even hear me?
I'm having the same problem with Cabe.
He's in a complete other world.
Cabe? Respond to your name.
(echoing): Cabe Gallo?
Cabe Gallo.
ANNOUNCER: Cabe Gallo!
Welcome to the show.
It is time to play...
RAY AND AUDIENCE: Older than dirt!
(applause) Whoo!
(Ray laughs)
Today's contestant is so old,
he got a special thanks in the Bible. (audience laughing)
His birthday candles caused global warming.
And if he were to act his age, well, he'd drop dead right here.
Say hello to Cabe Gallo!
Don't I know you?
I don't know. Do you?
It's your hallucination, brother.
Let's play, shall we? First question:
which of the following things would Allie be shocked to learn
didn't exist when Cabe was born?
(countdown music playing) Was it manned spaced travel,
portable calculators,
or tape cassettes?
(grandfather clock chimes)
I don't want to play this game.
(buzzer sounds) Oh, so close.
The answer is all of these.
All of these things didn't exist
when Cabe was born a full decade and a half
before his current girlfriend.
(bell chimes) Allie likes me just the way I am.
All shriveled? Don't think so.
(studio audience laughter) (Ray laughs)
RAY: Next question.
What grade was Allie in when you married your first wife?
I don't want to play this game.
Well, nobody does,
but we all have to play it eventually,
even badass, ex-football-playing Marines.
WALTER: Cabe. Cabe, what are you doing?
Toby, he's-he's hunched over.
I think he has an invisible cane or a walking stick.
He's moving like he's a hundred.
All right, can't help right now.
I'm trying to figure out who Ms. Weldy is
because Happy's talking to her
and I have no idea what this all means.
Wonderful news, children.
So many of you
have found your forever homes.
When I read out your names,
you can go and meet your new mothers and fathers.
Michael.
Sean,
Jamal,
Theo, Antoine,
Isabelle,
Roseanne,
Ronin,
Janine,
Abigail, Owen,
Kanti,
and Steven.
Could you check your list again?
I'm so sorry, darling.
Maybe next time.
I can be normal. I promise.
Well, there is one last shot,
but I'm not sure it'll work.
Could we try, please?
Maybe the next one will like me.
Okay. I'll return in a moment.
RALPH: I found her.
Mavis Weldy ran the Canoga Park Home for Children 20 years ago.
Oh, my God. She's reliving every time
she was rejected for adoption.
That is Happy's darkest fear: being rejected, being alone.
(door opens)
Happy Quinn, this is Dr. Curtis.
Hello.
I'm Happy.
Are you?
I'm a doctor of psychiatric medicine.
I can tell right away you're not happy.
I'm just nervous, Doc.
Doc?! Oh, crap, she's talking to me.
Her biggest fear isn't being rejected;
it's that I'll reject her, too.
Happy, Happy, hey, listen to me, I would never do that.
I love you.
I'm not sure about this.
You know, if I commit to her,
I'm stuck with her for the rest of my life?
There's got to be something wrong with her
if she's here, right?
HAPPY: I try hard.
I'm just a little bit different
from the other kids.
Well, I'm not so sure this will be the right fit.
No, you promised to be with me for life.
You proposed to me.
Quick to anger.
Volatile.
I think I'd regret this decision.
Sorry, I...
I don't want her.
Not for me.
MS. WELDY: I understand.
I'm so sorry, Happy.
Maybe next time.
But I'm perfect for you.
TOBY: Oh, no, she's looking tired.
Happy, please do not close your eyes.
Ralph, if Happy falls asleep she's history,
and we can't undo it.
But what if we could?
Like you told me earlier. Logic can beat fear.
So let's be logical.
All fear has a genesis in history.
If we go back and undo that moment...
Then their darkest fears will cease to exist.
They'll be lucid enough to take the steps needed
to get through those blast doors.
Um, Walter, Paige.
We have an idea.
I'm all ears 'cause right now
I can't coax Sly out from under the desk.
You need to go back to the point when these fears started
and attack that seminal moment.
If a match is never struck, a fire can never burn.
Sly said that his fear started
with Bucky Hanson at the petting zoo.
And Cabe started feeling weird
when he wouldn't wear reading glasses in front of Allie.
You guys go after those two moments, rewrite history.
Got it, but what about Happy?
She's been alone since she was a child,
and I'm gonna put an end to that.
Hi.
TOBY/YOUNG TOBY: I'm Tobias.
YOUNG TOBY: I'm new here.
Got anything to eat?
Here.
What's left of my lunch.
I like Evel Knievel.
I want a motorcycle one day.
I thought all the kids were adopted.
Not me.
Is that why you're sad?
No. I don't care.
Besides, I knew that nobody would want me
'cause I'm defective.
That's not why you're still here.
We just exited the '90s.
The Spice Girls had number one hits.
Half the women in America are wearing a haircut
called "The Rachel," and everyone's investing
in a Web site called, "Ask Jeeves."
This is a decade where everyone's making bad decisions,
so anyone who doesn't want you in their life?
That's just another bad decision.
Mmm, nice. Tuna fish.
I like your hat.
I like you.
I like you, too.
Will you marry me?
Uh, we just met, and we're eight.
You know who I am, and my biggest regret in life
is that we really didn't meet when we were eight because
I would've fallen in love with you from that moment.
The truth is you've never been alone.
My love for you
has always been there. It just took a while
for our paths to cross so I could share it with you.
And under all those neurotoxins in your head,
you know I'm right.
You have nothing to be scared of, ever.
Doc...
what's going on?
That generator over there?
To save yourself
and your friends,
you have to fix it, fast.
Easy.
Guys, I got through to Happy.
Now you have to take care of business on your end.
Trying, but Sly isn't cooperating.
Well, then get tough with him.
Okay, here it goes.
PAIGE: Look at Sylvester, hiding in a coop...
BUCKY: ...just where a chicken should be.
Stop teasing me, Bucky.
Come out so I can pluck your feathers.
Leave me alone.
You should've never locked me in here with these creatures.
Aw, you want to go tell the teacher?
Come pull this lever and go tell them.
PAIGE: I don't get it.
He's faced a lot worse than an 11-year-old brat.
Mom, in Sly's mind, he's my age.
He doesn't know all the brave things he's done.
You have to tell him.
Good point, honey.
Coward. Knew those stories
about you weren't true.
What stories?
That you jumped out of a plane,
captured a poisonous snake,
helped save a boy from a sinkhole.
Wait, I think I did do those things.
No, you didn't, you weenie. Don't dispute the facts.
Facts are my forte; I never get them wrong.
Really?
Then why is a hero hiding from chickens?
I think it's time you reconsider your facts, bucko.
Fact: I leapt off of a cruise ship.
Fact: I went into a cave full of bats.
Fact: I punched a man in the face in prison.
Fact: what you did to me in sixth grade was mean, but...
I'm not scared of you anymore
because I'm a man,
and I can be brave sometimes,
you little turd.
And I'm still telling on you.
Come on, Sly, you can do it.
Okay.
(screaming)
Okay.
Great job, Sly.
Time to take a load off.
Toby, Sly pulled the lever, but he's sleepy.
You said sleepy was bad.
Sleepy is the first step to coma,
and Happy is starting to slip, too.
Fighting that fungus wiped them out.
Walt, all we need now is for Cabe to fix that breaker,
and we can open the doors and get them out.
I can't get him to move. He's just sitting like a statue.
Well, Paige and I have to try to keep Sly and Happy awake.
Just get him to flip that damn switch! Do it!
I don't know how to talk someone out of being scared.
I can't relate to that kind of emotion.
PAIGE: Really?
'Cause you seem pretty scared now.
Your biggest fear isn't snakes, was it?
It's problems you can't solve.
Now do what you did with the yogurt guy,
and put yourself in Cabe's shoes.
Okay.
Okay, uh, I'm Cabe.
I like steak and Conway Twitty. I'm scared of getting old. Why?
Because of death?
No, Cabe faces death all the time, so then why?
Because...
I got it. I got it.
Cabe, listen closely.
You don't fear getting old;
you fear weakness.
I can understand that.
When I can't solve a problem, I-I feel weak.
I feel powerless. I feel useless
because my identity is intellect,
and yours is strength.
You are a military man, a government agent,
someone who is strong for their friends, but when you fear
weakness, you feel that you'll lose your identity
because of it, and the people that you care about, like Allie.
Is that right?
Cabe?
God? Is that you?
You sound a lot less confident than I thought you'd be.
That's because I'm worried about you,
but I shouldn't be because getting old is not a detriment.
It is a strength.
With age comes experience, knowledge
and wisdom.
What you've forgotten,
others will never know.
And what you've lived,
others only read about.
What you can do,
others can only dream about.
Cabe Gallo is stopped by nothing.
Certainly not by fungus and fear and...
Wait, what are you doing?
I'm gonna flip that damn breaker switch.
Okay.
I did it, son, but...
WALTER: Cabe? Cabe!
Guys, he's unconscious.
So are Sly and Happy.
They got it done, but it's too late.
They're all in comas.
Okay, they're unconscious; let's just load them onto the snowcat
and take them to the closest hospital.
TOBY: I already looked it up,
it's two hours hours away!
They need immediate medical care or they're never gonna wake up.
You're the doctor and on another continent.
I-I really don't think there's a nearby pharmacy
out here in the tundra.
This whole building is a pharmacy.
It houses the greatest seed collection in the world.
We can synthesize a treatment.
I'll hack the vault's database,
find the location of whatever you need.
Okay, okay. Uh, let me think.
First, we're gonna need plant seeds
with an antifungal polyenes to attack the ergot.
Ralph, look for bachelor's button,
also known as basket flower.
And then, we're gonna need to mix it
with a highly concentrated anti-inflammatory
to bust open the circulatory system
and allow blood to get back to the brain.
Oh, um, alpha-Linolenic acid is found in chia seeds.
Tracking it all down now.
Guys, this treatment needs to be given to them
in the next few minutes
or they're gonna suffer permanent neurological damage!
Still one problem, we never planned on going inside.
To get the seeds and our friends,
we have to go through ergot-saturated pathways.
We'll wind up whacked-out like how they were.
Not if we don't breathe in heavily contaminated air.
The oxygen pipes run
through this facility as part of its preservation system.
Now, if we tap into this,
then we can inhale fresh air the whole trip.
Tap into it how? It's ten feet high.
PVC pipes bracketed to the wall! Tear it off
while I hack into the main server
and increase the pressure in the oxygen pipes.
You mind telling me
why I'm vandalizing a seed vault?
I'm building up pressure in the O2 pipes
so small that fissures crack open.
Pure oxygen will pour out.
And we'll use the PVC
to breathe in untainted oxygen along our route inside.
TOBY: That should work,
but you guys will still get some ergot into your system.
Not enough to go full nutbar,
but if you start seeing pink elephants,
know that they are not real.
(beeping) WALTER: Got the PSI to the tilt.
Oxygen conduits should start cracking... now.
(cracking)
(oxygen hissing)
Great.
All right, we're going to take a big breath
before we go through this door.
(panel beeps)
(panel beeps)
(panel beeps)
Oh, my God, it's freezing in here!
It's the refrigerant system to store the seeds.
But it should have just low levels of ergot,
like Toby said, not like the tunnels.
So if we're in and out quickly, we should be okay.
Ralph, find us our seeds.
Aisle A, box 1032.
Bachelor's button flower from Austria.
We got it.
From Guatemala, aisle C, box 5306.
WALTER: Yep.
PAIGE: Found it. Nice work, honey.
TOBY: Now, you'll need to make
a high oil extraction from the seeds.
Start by grinding them into a powder.
Walter,
you'll need alcohol.
Got it.
Now, pour a few ounces over the powder, burn it off
and you'll get an oil.
Okay, I don't have matches or a lighter.
So, I'll have to improvise.
Okay. Watch out.
(exhales sharply)
We did it, we got the oil!
Great, now you just got to put it under their tongues
to get it right into their bloodstreams.
It's potent. If it'll work, it'll work instantaneously.
(flame surges)
Oh, no. I think I inhaled too much ergot.
I'm-I'm seeing a purple flame.
You're not hallucinating.
Potassium chloride, a component in deicer,
burns purple. So, when I lit the alcohol,
a spark must have caught the sacks on fire.
Need I remind you that right behind that door
is a tunnel filled with very flammable oxygen?
If those any of those flames reach that door, kaboom!
That whole place will be blown to pieces!
Toby, the flames are spreading and I have no way
of putting out a chemical fire! Why the hell is there even deicer in here?
It snows outside, not inside. It's to prevent the ice buildup
in the refrigerant tanks. Wait a minute.
We can use the carbon dioxide in the refrigerant tanks
to build a fire extinguisher.
Now, Paige, the others don't have long,
so go give them the oil.
And I will put out this fire.
You're okay.
You're okay, come on.
Oh, I had a messed up dream.
Tell me about it later.
Right now, you need a bit of fresh oxygen
and then we got to save the others.
Okay? All right.
(Cabe grunts)
Chickens!
I made it through the '60s clean,
just to trip out in 2017.
We all did.
Dirty hippies, gross.
Every breath increases a chance of relapse
so hurry up outside.
Toby, how's Walt doing with the fire?
TOBY: Flames burned out the vault's
closed circuit TV. I lost contact with him
while he was building the fire extinguisher.
I have no idea if he's okay or not.
Oh, wait, I see him.
What the hell?
You ready to get out of here?
(gasps) You okay?
Yeah, I think I got a little ergot on the brain.
Let's go home.
Guess I scared Mr. Dodd off.
I don't scare that easy!
Mr. Dodd. Better late than never.
Please take your position at the lectern and we can begin.
You got this, kid.
Go on, Sly. Come on.
Are we ready to begin?
Yes, and I would like to apologize for my lateness.
I was out of the country
working for Homeland.
PATEL: For the record,
Mr. Dodd is not employed by Homeland.
He's only an independent contractor.
Uh, may we let the moderator begin, please?
MODERATOR: The comic book store seems to be
the basis of your platform, so please address it.
Uh, I believe that eminent domain is abuse
of government power.
Really? Was it an abuse when the Erie Canal was built?
No, but it's not 1825 and the stakes are a lot smaller
than enabling the American shipping industry
to get from the Atlantic to the Midwest.
The matter at hand
is taking private property
to help, not the populace, but a big box store.
The kind of store grown-ups go to.
Yes.
I patronize the Warlock's Chest.
I had a tough childhood, I was picked on.
Make-believe was my refuge.
I found solace amongst the fantasy
and I would gather up my courage to face another day.
And trust me, when I was a kid,
I needed courage just to show up at school.
And I need it now for my job.
But the difference is, with Scorpion,
I have a team to help me remember that I can be brave.
And if the Warlock's Chest will provide refuge
for more kids who don't know they're brave yet, well...
I want it to stick around.
(quiet murmurs)
Wow, he's doing great. Yeah.
PATEL: Brave?
You ran away from your problems by hiding in a comic store.
Sounds chicken to me.
Chicken?
Sir, I know chickens.
I have been around chickens
and I, sir,
am no chicken.
For example,
I fear public speaking,
and yet, here I am, facing my fear,
kicking your ass in a debate.
MODERATOR: Moving on...
Sly's on fire. Great work.
It's all him.
You want to get a bite after this?
MODERATOR: What would you say to voters who may be looking...
Okay.
But no Vegan Thrill, okay? I hate that place.
Been there a dozen times.
Hated it every time.
Look, I've been terrified about our age difference.
I hate kale, I need reading glasses
and I enjoy getting senior discounts.
But the thing I'm really crazy about is you.
You're the first woman I've really enjoyed being with
in a long time.
But I got to know that you're comfortable with me
the way I am: a little weathered and stronger for it.
'Cause I can't change who I am and I wouldn't want to.
Those years make me who I am.
SYLVESTER: ...out of town to replace with a behemoth.
I like classic cars, vintage clothes, Sinatra.
You fit right in my wheelhouse, Mr. Gallo.
SYLVESTER: ...which I have, you'll see that those jobs
you're mentioning are all part-time.
Looks like you did a good job knocking that fear out of Cabe.
WALTER: I guess I did.
So, that fungus
really makes you see your darkest fears, huh?
Yes, in most basic terms, the amygdala and the cortex
that contribute to the fear output
are affected.
Oh, it's all very interesting.
Did you see something? A fear of yours?
No.
Maybe. No. It was nothing.
I got to get some air.
Okay.
SYLVESTER: Any problem can be solved.
Did you notice anything weird about Paige?
Yeah, ergot can mess with you for a few days, she'll be fine.
She just needs to sleep it off
like my little princess here.
SYLVESTER ...all politicians die...
Man, she had a rough one.
I hope she's having sweet dreams.
She deserves it.
MS. WELDY: Good afternoon, children.
CHILDREN: Good afternoon, Ms. Weldy.
YOUNG TOBY: Hi, I'm Tobias. I'm new here.
Nice. Tuna fish.
I like your pigtails.
Did you know the term "pigtail"
comes from a twist of chewing tobacco?
Just shut up and you can hold my hand.
Offer accepted.