Scorpion (2014–2018): Season 3, Episode 13 - Faux Money Maux Problems - full transcript

E-Excuse me.

Hi, sweetheart,
are you okay?

I... I can't find my mom.

We got separated on our hike.

It's okay.
We're gonna find her.

I'm Joanne.
What's your name?

Paige.

That's a pretty name.

We're gonna start at the head
of the trail, all right?

Come on.

Oh, nice work, cutie.



Mr. Dodd,

parking in West Altadenia
is atrocious.

How are you going to improve it?

Since I ride the bus,

I think a logical option

would be for more people
to use public transportation.

My opponent is a dork.
I win.

What? I answered
everything honestly.

Honesty will get you points
at the Pearly Gates--

in politics,
it gets you crushed.

Hello, everybody.

Veronica.

Hi. You're here.

Just for a bit.



Oh, is this debate prep
for the alderman election?

Yeah, if you can
call it that.

So, who've you been
on the run from?

Funny. A business deal
jumped off quick,

and I just had to hit the road
before saying good-bye.

And couldn't be
contacted for weeks.

Is Paige here?

She's dropping your grandson
off at school.

Well, I'm sure she's mad at me
for disappearing, but you know,

when opportunity arises,

you just have to reach out
and grab it.

Entrepreneurship is what
makes this country great.

When it comes to debate prep,

there's a lot you could learn
from this woman.

All I've heard is obfuscation.
Exactamundo.

First of all, Sly,
you should always redirect.

Answer the question

you wish had been asked

instead of the one that was.

Like when Allie asked me

if I liked vegan food.

I said yes.

I like broccoli and carrots.

I just left out that I like them
next to a steak.

That sounds like a lie.

No, it's a pivot.

I will admit
that it has forced me

to supplement my protein intake
with a lot of jerky.

Yes, I have noticed.

Everyone, everything is
about to change for the better.

Oh, look who's back.

So, Paige will be very...
interested.

About Paige, I really
need to talk with her.

Do you...
Eh, not until you have the conch.

Oh, boy.

In the wake
of Tim's recent departure,

it was made clear to me
that my decision-making

could be a bit, um...

Tyrannical.

I was gonna say unilateral,

but your input is
heard and appreciated.

Overcompensation by way of
agreeability and inclusion.

Got it.
Wrong.

But appreciated.
Anyway, we're a team.

Everyone's feelings
should be heard,

not just mine.

Anyone that graduated middle
school knows the conch method.

It's from Lord of the Flies.

You know this'll flame out

when you eventually snap
like a rubber band;

being genial isn't your nature.

That's wrong,
and, uh, appreciated.

Since today's case
is relatively simple,

I figured we could implement,
uh, a soft tryout?

Transportation for
Crooning Crane Winery

will be here very soon.

We have a private job

to revamp their
viticulture technology

with selective harvesters
and optical sorters.

Can I have the
shell? Please.

Uh, real quick.
Wait.

Uh, Toby and I

forgot my model for
the sap flow sensors.

What? The client's minutes away.

But, uh, I'm sure
there's a good reason.

Uh, we were awake all night

in a wedding venue rabbit hole.

In other words,
we spaced,

but we'll get it and
we'll meet you at the winery.

Thank you.
So, I need to...

The client. I'm sorry.

Miss Walker.

Paige will be
with us in a minute,

and Toby and Happy will be
joining us at the winery.

But we provided transportation
for the whole team,

so everyone could sample
the wines before arriving.

Mm, adding roughly ten percent
to our overall job time.

So, how about a ten percent
discount in our fee?

I just need
to make a quick call.

Of course.

Walter, the conch?

Yup.

I have to talk to Paige

for a few minutes
before you leave.

I hear you, but the client
is already testy.

Oh, I may have a solution.

My bad. I hit so much...

...traffic.

What if I said it's
Bring Your Mom to Work Day?

I'd say that

it doesn't exist.

I'd ask you where
you've been,

but I'd just get a lie.

So, why are you here?

I'm just hitching a ride
to the vineyard,

then I'm gonna get a cab
to the airport.

Skipping town.
I expect you to disappear,

but I can't forgive you
for doing that to Ralph.

I'm gonna make it
up to him, honey.

- That's why I'm here. I...
- Don't.

I'll tell him you said good-bye.
Just leave. Okay?

Why don't you
have a drink, kid?

It'll take the edge off.

As my Italian forebears
would say...

Cabe.

What? I give
a healthy pour.

What was the name

of the guy who
hated the Smurfs?

Gargamel.

Oh, I think he's driving

that SUV right there.

Look.

Guys, we're being drugged.

No, we're just
getting liquored up.

Yeah.

No, smell it.
The air, it smells sweet.

It's kevloturane.

It's a subtle knockout gas.

Maybe we should all take a nap.

W-W-We're moments away
from being unconscious.

Here. It won't budge.

Locked.

I got this.

No, no, no,
no, no, no.

Kevloturane is flammable.

If a bullet creates a spark,

then the limo will explode.

Why don't we all pop corks
of the champagne bottles

at a single window?

Okay.
Yes! Yes. Okay.

Shake the bottles
to build up pressure,

and then release the
corks at every corner

of the windows.
Are you ready? On three.

One...

Two...

Oh.

Where the hell are we?

Somewhere we're not
getting out of without Happy.

Look. Card reader.

“No fumar.”

“Agua”.

Spanish?

I'm not sure that we're
in the United States.

Look, Central
American outlets.

Someone drugged us

and flew us out of the country?

They took our wallets
and our phones.

Okay, list of Central
American countries

with three and a half hour
flight time from Los Angeles.

Look.

High-end printing press...

and recently printed sheets

of U.S. $100 bills.

This is a counterfeiting
operation?

What do they want with us?

Oh, no.
We're being set up.

Did you have something
to do with this?

Absolutely not...
as far as I know.

This team gets
into a lot of trouble,

but we never get kidnapped.

Toby got kidnapped.

We don't get kidnapped en masse.

Okay.

El Salvador, Guatemala...

Oh, I hope it's not Norteguay.

Well, that's just bad
as North Korea.

And Norteguay's been rattling
their sabers at the U.S.

ever since that last round
of sanctions.

Threatening to kidnap
our scarediest geeks?

But their threats
are nonspecific,

and their dictator,
Alejandro Durante,

he calls them
“earth-shattering.”

Now, he's the kind of guy,
he starves his own people.

He feeds his enemies
to his killer dogs.

Oh, God,
I hope it's not Norteguay.

Lucinda?

What exactly is going on?

On behalf of our beloved leader,
I welcome you to Norteguay.

Oh, boy.

♪ Scorpion 3x13 ♪
Faux Money Maux Problems
Original Air Date on January

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

You've been brought here
to rectify the damage

Norteguay has suffered
from crippling U.S. sanctions.

Your own guy caused that,
not us.

My brother, President Durante,

is not the problem.

His mission is to reclaim

the glory of Norteguay,

using the same means
by which it was stolen.

The U.S. denied you dollars,
so you're gonna make fake ones.

You'll finish creating
half a billion

in counterfeit American dollars.

When you're done,

you'll be released.

I'm not sure
I'm buying that.

Finish? Who's the guy
that started them?

Wait...
Anders Dietrich.

Swiss Professor of Criminology

who specialized
in counterfeiting.

He disappeared a month ago
at his office

at the University
of Geneva.

Probably took the same
limo ride as us.

Where is he now?

The professor was unable
to replicate

the American bill's
newest innovations,

the 3-D holographic strip
and the varnish seal.

His memory should serve

as a motivator not to fail
at those two tasks.

His memory...

We're not counterfeiters.

According to dark site
discussions

you expertly faked
UN ID badges

and created an exact
3D-printed replica

of a 2,000-year-old ceremonial
bowl from Djibouti.

Now, if you're uncapable,

we have bullets
with your names on them.

Guilty as charged.

We make 'em, we fake 'em,

we turn 'em over to you,
you take 'em.

That's our motto.

Start copying and printing
the holographic strips.

When the rest
of your team arrives,

Dr. Curtis will balance
the biochemical dyes

for the phosphorous varnish.

And your engineer will configure
the plates.

Which means they're on their way
or you haven't caught them.

And if you haven't, good luck.

They'll be here soon.

So get the job done
or your non-geniuses die.

You're not gonna kill
a U.S. federal agent,

and Paige is the only way
these guys can function.

And without me,

you're going
to be printing bills

that even a clerk at
the 7-Eleven could spot.

You?
You're the one I kill first.

Really? Because your phosphorous
varnish won't work.

The U.S. government
says publicly

that's what it uses,
but it's a red herring.

You need hydroquinone.

Mom.

They seem to know what
they're talking about.

The phosphorous
looks good at first,

but it dries sticky.

Uh, feel free to look up
my criminal record.

I served ten months
for counterfeiting

perfect copper mine deeds.

Couldn't be prouder.

We can try your method.

If it fails, you die.

We have the chemicals
in another room.

It's a two-woman job.

If that press
isn't running within an hour,

I'll send someone
to encourage you to work faster.

You two, come.

No windows, no vents,

and a door
we don't have a card for.

Maybe Happy and Toby
didn't get captured,

maybe they're looking for us.

Maybe.

That's puckish,
yet playful.

Still no answer
from any of them.

It's been three hours.

I'm sorry,
this is a no phone zone.

If you want to tour the winery,

you have to leave
your phones here.

I'm sorry.

This one isn't used to
classy places.

There could be a back up
on PCH.

Cell service sucks
by the cliffs.

You know what I think?

I think Wally

isn't as conch-friendly
as he thinks he is.

I think it burns his tuchas
that we weren't prepared

for this job today.

He had Lucinda take him
to that winery tasting room

by Zuma Beach.

Petty punishments
aren't Walt's style.

It's inefficient.

Yeah, well, we're sitting here
like suckers.

He's punishing us.

You don't seem to mind
that much.

When in Rome.

Why don't we roam

around the grounds,

check it out?

Could be a sweet spot
to tie the knot.

Those two trays
side by side.

Chemical bath on the left,
water bath on the right.

You sure know a lot about this.

Yeah, well,
you pick up a few things.

What are you doing?

You know, just getting
the lay of the land.

Fantastic.

And now, what is your name?

Luiz.

Luiz, could you be a sweetheart?

In my bag that you confiscated
is my lip balm.

I find the air
in your country very dry.

And, you know,

I'm used to L.A.,
kind of, ocean breeze.

I'll get it.

Get those towels.

Um, since you mentioned
Los Angeles,

why can't you stay there?

What are you running from?

You remember
the old Tennessee Flop?

You worked that one
with me once.

I don't remember
all the scams, Mom, I was nine.

Well, the Tennessee Flop is
the reason I can't stay in L.A.

Don't you ever tire of running?

Does it ever occur to you
that disappearing

will break Ralph's heart?

Did he say that?

He didn't have to.

And you know what else
will break his heart?

Is if he never sees me again.

You're right. Okay.

I could swear that,
when I was at that vent,

I could hear a car
a few miles away.

Okay, how does that help us?

If we...

Now get to work.

Gracias.

Now, we may be stuck upstairs
but Walter's just beneath us.

There's a tree line
not that far out.

I think I can figure out
a way out of here.

We just need our new pal Luiz
to make a delivery.

- Ready.
- Ready.

Good. Okay.

Check it out.

Wow, our holographic strip
is indistinguishable

from the authentic strip.

What do we think these guys are
gonna buy with this fake money?

Loose nuclear material.

Chemical weapons.

Anything that can bring
the U.S. to its knees.

Fantastic.

Our host is gonna expect

this machine to be
up and running soon.

Yeah, problem is,

the sooner we're done
with the task,

the sooner we're extraneous.

Varnish sample.

The lady said to make sure
to test both sides.

And Lucinda said that,
if that press

is not running in five minutes

that I should
paint the walls red.

I think that was a euphemism.

Not about redecorating.

Test both sides?

The bills are made
of one material.

Side is irrelevant.

Maybe she didn't mean
both sides of the dollar.

Maybe she meant
both sides of the tub.

“Tree line 50 feet
out on printer side.

Cars 3 miles away.”

Well, that's all great and all,

but how we gonna walk
through cinder blocks?

Well, maybe we can
drill through it.

We can use the spools
from the printing press.

If we offset them a foot,

we could use them
to drill through.

And all our pals will hear

is this metallic beast
churning out bills.

Except they have a habit
of walking in unannounced.

Well, I may have a solution
for that, too.

But it would mean destroying
your Super Fun Guy

utility watch.

You call that oaky?

How many tastes
does that make?

They have 16 varietals,
it's not my fault I'm thorough.

Come to the barrel shed with me?

Yes, ma'am.

The booze must be affecting
my receptors.

I had no idea
you were feeling frisky.

Hey, shut up,
you idiot.

There's a guy in a brown jacket
who's been tailing us

for five minutes,
maybe even longer.

Was he holding his arm

close to his waist?
Yeah.

I think he's packing a gun.
You're just telling me now?

Well, you wouldn't shut up
about the sturdiness

of the Pinot noir.

Okay, well,
Walter's not punishing us.

The guys must be in trouble and
we're goofing off drinking wine.

- What's this about “we”?
- Don't move.

You're coming with me.

We're gonna be joining
the rest of your team.

Duck!

Truck, truck, truck!

You drive! I'm pickled!

Shut up.

Tell your boss
it's up and running.

Shouldn't be more
than a couple of hours

and those pallets
will be full.

Gotcha.

Okay, the red is the wire

to the hard drive.
Sly, your watch?

And you can expect
a hard drive like this

to keep records for a month.

12:35, 2:52, 5:01.

So the reader registers an entry
every two hours.

That's when the guards
make their rounds.

That gives us
an hour and 59 minutes

to get through the wall,

get help, and come back
before they return.

If we're late,
they kill Veronica and Paige.

Then we better do this right.

All right.

All right, ready?
Yeah.

Looks like it's working!

They're drilling
through the wall.

It's faint,

but I'd know
that sound anywhere.

Don't even want to ask why.

There's a chance all this dust

might clog the press.

If it shuts down,
it'll alert the guards

that something's off.

We have to leave it on.

If we stop it,
the guards will eventually come.

Fellas, I think I see
some daylight.

Oh!

They made it!

We need to move fast.

Only 81 minutes
until the guard checks in.

Anyone else hear dogs?

Doesn't this dictator feed
people to his hungry dogs?

They don't sound too far off.
Run like hell!

Still behind us.

Ah, and we have no weapon!

I do have liquid courage.

What are you doing?
No time to explain.

Keep her steady.

Happy, I saw a pack of smokes
and a lighter up there,

I need a flame.

Okay.

That sobered me up.

Stop!

We're never gonna outrun them.

Let's get up in these trees!

How did we not know

about Cujo and Co.?

Well, the Norteguayans
must let the dogs

roam around the
perimeter freely.

Veronica and Paige
never saw them.

And the barking
isn't a problem?

Noise from the printing press
will cover it.

Besides,

if they knew we'd have escaped,

we would have heard gunshots
already.

Well, we can't just stay
in a tree forever.

What we need is something to
knock the dogs off of our scent.

What about cayenne pepper?

Should be more than enough.

Rub it on the tree.
You know,

it's this kind of ingenuity

that makes you
such a valuable team member.

Shut up and just
rub that all over

and get up that tree.
Yeah.

Okay.
Let's go.

The tree...

Hurry up, I can see the dogs!

Come on!

How did you learn
how to do all this?

Remember when I worked
at a graphic design firm

when you were 12?
Mm-hmm.

Well, it was less
graphic design firm,

and more fake
bond scheme.

Unbelievable.

Do you hear that?

I don't hear
anything.

Exactly.

The printing press
stopped running.

If it's off
for more than a few minutes,

Lucinda and the guards will go
to see what's going on

and see that the others escaped.

They couldn't rig
that printing press

to keep running
for longer than that?

I mean, some
geniuses they are!

Okay, I'm sure
whatever they did

was the best option
available in the moment.

Well, the moment we're in is
that your friends just ran off

and left us here to die!

Them escaping to the tree line
was your idea!

I gave them an option!

They decided
they could pull it off--

which, clearly, they can't!

I was just trying
to help!

That's all I've ever done!

All you've ever done?
Are you kidding me?

Did you help
me and Dad

every time you disappeared
to run some con?

Every time you got arrested
in front of me?

Every time you left us
on our own?

You have never

helped me, ever!
You have only hurt me,

over and over.

I swear, I can't believe
I let you back into my life!

Paige...
What?!

Pai--

Mom?
Oh.

Mom?

Mom?

I can't breathe.

Oh.

Get down here!
We need some help!

Oh, Pai-- oh!

Oh, my God! Mom!

Please!

What's going on in here?

It just happened!
Her heart.

Please!

Yeah,

he's alive, but
he's gonna be out for a while.

I bet you these zip ties
were for us.

Lucky they're
“one size fits all.”

What are you doin'?

Looking for anything
that'll give us some insight

into what this guy is up to.

Like this key fob,
for instance.

What it's for,

I have no idea.
That might be our only chance

to find the guys; we got
to hack it and fast!

To the Genius Lair!

It's better than saying,
“To the dirty garage.”

Just move it.

Ow!

Hurry up!

She needs a doctor,
not aspirin!

She's going nowhere.

If she's having
a cardiac episode,

aspirin will thin her blood.

I have a bad heart.

It's been that way
since I was little.

Just don't die
before finishing the job.

Martin should have
checked in by now.

Try him again.

I can't believe you.

You are out of your mind.
Standard Illinois Waltz.

You slipped into character
just like it was an old shoe.

I wasn't in character,
I thought you were dying!

And if you were trying
to buy us more time,

that only got us
a few extra minutes, at most.

I got us more
than time.

Luiz's card key to all the rooms
in the compound.

They're not leaving.

Then we make it unpleasant
for them to stay.

What are you doing?

I'm making a dog whistle.

Actually, we're making
the dog whistle.

I know all of us

have our own roles

and I shouldn't minimize
each other's contributions.

Just shut up and tell
us what we need to do.

Okay, get some of the tree sap
from behind you

and put it
on your fingers

and then send it my way.

You're reducing the air opening

to create a high frequency.

Exactly. And if I can
distribute it evenly,

then I should be able
to get a whistle

at above 16,000 hertz.

Okay, that
should do it.

Keep going,
it's working.

Hasta luego, fleabags!

They won't
be a problem anymore.

With all that cayenne,

there's no way
to get our scent back now.

Then let's move.

I saw more guards

on the way to the bathroom
at Perryville Prison.

Yeah, that's
a good thing.

I know. Strange.

Speaking of strange,

you had no idea that my
argument with you was a con,

and you said some
pretty hurtful things.

Yeah, well, I meant every word.
And you could've told me

you were gonna
fake a heart attack.

What is the first rule
of the con artist?

Believe the lie.

If Lucinda hadn't believed that
you were worried about me,

she would have seen
through the whole thing,

so I insulted
your friends,

got you all riled up, and
then grabbed my chest.

And you were worried
for me, weren't you?

I'm not talking
about this right now.

You were worried.

The door is just ahead.

We slip in, turn
the printer on,

nice and easy.

You made a very quick recovery.

Oh, no, my
chest hurts.

Not gonna work, Mom.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

Huh?

What the hell?

Where are we?

You're in my
way, jackasses!

USA!

So the good news is:
we never left home.

The bad news is:

we have no idea
what's really going on.

When we were
unconscious,

they even reprogrammed
my watch

to make us think that
we flew for four hours,

when they only drove us for one.
Why would they do all that?

Psych ops.
A team that believes

it's being held
in a foreign dictatorship

complies with captors' demands
faster

than one that thinks
it's on home turf

where it can be rescued.

But the Norteguayans
wouldn't be here

unless they were planning
something much bigger

than simple black market
arms purchases.

You got any idea
what that could be?

No. But right now,

Paige and Veronica
are our first priority.

Homeland Agent
Cabe Gallo,

got an emergency,

need a secure landline.
Hold on, chief,

you can't come in here

and just start
runnin' through my joint,

especially when

I don't see
no badge.

You Corps?
Yeah.

So you probably went into
Pendleton, what, early '70s?

May have had
Drill Instructor Todd?

DI Barrios.

Yeah, he was no picnic, either.

I ate the same slop
off a shingle you did,

mopped the same
barracks.

From one Devil Dog to another,
I need your phone.

There's an office in the back.

Hi. I was not
in the Marine Corps,

but I was in student council.

So, do you have a cell phone
I could borrow?

This is pointless.

This is the only shot we have
at finding the guys.

I just have to
get past the encryption.

Simi Valley?

- Who is this?
- Where are you guys?

We've been trying
to call your cell phones.

Our cell phones are
at Crooning Crane's

no phone zone.
Where are you guys?

Well, we thought

we were kidnapped to
a secret government compound

in Norteguay, but it turns out
it was just Simi Valley.

Yeah, well, that makes sense.

We got out,
except Veronica and Paige,

who are still back there.

Cabe's calling Homeland
for backup.

Well, whoever came after
you guys

sent someone after us, too.

We got a key fob off the guy

and we're using Sly's scanner
to crack it,

but it's encrypted.

Okay, uh, keep at it.

Pursue whatever avenue
you think is best.

I trust your judgment
implicitly.

You're getting real weird, Walt.

What's wrong?

Homeland said
to take a beat.

What? Why?

Turns out Lucinda Durante
isn't just

the sister of Dictator Durante.

As of four months ago,

she's also Norteguay's
ambassador to the U.S.

Giving her diplomatic immunity.

Tensions are high
between our nations.

Any incident could set off
a very dangerous chain reaction.

We can't just cuff her

and take her
to county.

Homeland's on the case,

and they're making sure
to cross every “T”

and dot every “I.”

And that's gonna take a while.

We don't have a while.
We need to go now.

Hey, buddy.

Any chance you could help?

Gray pickup, outside.

Oh, I'm gonna need
to borrow your cell.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but a saloon like this
has got to have protection.

Semper fi.

Come on, faster!

Nothing left behind!

Where are
your friends?

I don't know.

Where did they go?

Go, go, go, go, go!

Stay down! Stay down!

They shot the tires.

I'll go see
if I can find some wheels!

You okay?

Yeah. We're all right.

I'm glad you guys made it.

Well, not quick enough.
If we don't stop Lucinda,

she's gonna get
out of the country

with $500 million in supernotes.

Why would she flee
her own country?

Yeah. About that.

We're in Simi Valley.

That woman is a genius.

She pulled off
the Punxsutawney Peek-a-boo.

You're impressed.

Did Tchaikovsky
get mad at Brahms?

Yes, actually.

Guys, we have
Veronica and Paige.

What about you?
We cracked the key fob.

They're not leaving the country.

The fake compound
was here for a reason.

The fob opens a door
at 9891 Madera Road.

That must be
where Lucinda is heading.

Yeah, well. We don't have
any way to get there.

Yes, we do.

In style.

Get in.

Okay. But this time,

we have to go with the windows

rolled down the entire way.

Windows down?

Cabe's been eating
that jerky again.

Oh.

Veronica's bag, Sly's phone.

They must've left it
here before.

Here.

So,

based on all the gun-pointing
and rope-tying,

I assume they figured out
that we'd gone, hmm?

Got hairy but we stayed cool.

That's right.

You're welcome, by the way.

Excuse me?

Oh, well, today
we got kidnapped,

locked in a room

with toxic chemicals, shot at.

But you handled
yourself like a champ.

I mean, yes. I threw
you in the deep end

when you were a child,

but you learned how
to swim on your own.

You're turning abandonment
into a recipe

for successful parenting.

You can't argue with success.

We're here!

This is just
a regular warehouse.

Which means there's something
very irregular inside.

If the Norteguayans were
here, they're long gone now.

They were definitely here.

The biometric reader

has been disabled.

And... a little bit ajar.

Cabe.

They disabled
those cameras, too.

Toby, Happy,
are you seeing this?

Yeah.
Best guess is the warehouse

is largely automated,

and Lucinda paid off
any minimal human security

to not be there today.

Toby, is there any chance
you can transmit

the key fob's code to my phone?

Uh, sending now.

Great.

Holy stack of greenbacks.

This must be

a federal way station.

What's a way station?

Hidden Treasury locations
across the country

where they store cash

before distributing it to banks.

Why would the Norteguayans need

to print all those fake bills

if they could
just rob this place?

'Cause they didn't want

to steal the money.

They wanted to leave the money.

The counterfeit cash
is hidden here

amongst the real currency.

Lucinda said the U.S.
brought Norteguay to its knees

via sanctions.

Now they want
to hurt our economy.

By mixing a huge amount

of fake cash in with the real,
the dollar will devalue.

Once the public finds out about
indistinguishable counterfeits,

bank runs will begin

as people start to fear
that their cash is worthless.

It'll spread globally,

it'll crash the world economy.

Most devastating way
to poison someone

is to inject them
right in the heart.

That way station is the heart
of cash disbursement.

Homeland can quarantine the
warehouse, destroy the bills,

reprint the original allotment.

None of the bogus bills
hit circulation.

Good work, team.

Yeah. Or as I would say,
good teamwork.

Hey, hey, hey.

It's Lucinda.

They must've lain in wait
to see if we followed her.

And now they're flooding
the ventilation system

with that gas from the limo.

Both tanks. Fully opened.

It's worse than this morning.

Well, it's an increased
concentration.

This time, they're not just
trying to knock us out,

they're trying to kill us.

We can't break it open.

It's a solid steel door,

so we're not gonna be able
to shoot our way out.

Toby, Happy, any update?

We're trying to open them,

but it's gonna take too long.

Can you guys close
the vents manually?

No. Not from down here.

Walt,
this increased concentration

of kevloturane means
you're gonna skip loopy

and go straight
to pulmonary hemorrhage.

The tissue in your lungs
will bleed out, and you will

drown in your own blood.

With the volume
of this warehouse,

we have approximately
four minutes until suffocation.

Uh, any chance
these sprinklers go off?

Gas isn't as dense as smoke.

It won't set off the alarm.

That's it. Fire.

Kevloturane is flammable.

We can burn off the gas.

I have some matches.

In the limo, you said
a single spark

could cause an explosion.

Yeah. That's what we want.
Are we all in agreement?

I'm just going to grab
the imaginary conch

for a second here,
and say that I am concerned

that if you light that match,
it means this entire building,

us included, will go kablooey.

Okay. I will set
an explosion on a timer

using the smoke alarm. Potassium
chlorate on match tips

will ignite after a few seconds
of connection to the batteries,

and then we will ride
it out in that vault.

Uh, I'm gonna take your
invisible conch now, buddy,

and tell you that your plan
is crazier than a poophouse rat.

The steel should
be strong enough

to shield us from the blast.

Taking the virtual conch.
Agreeing with actual fiancée.

And if I could quickly just take
the virtual conch, just for a second. I...

Everyone stop
with the virtual conch!

You know who has
the virtual conch?

The guy with the 197 IQ! And
this is what's happening to it.

The conch is dead!

I am the conch. Scorpion is not

a democracy.
It is a logical dictatorship.

And we are going
to cover ourselves

in that vault
while I blow this place up

and nobody is going
to argue about it.

Yep.

Aren't you gonna try
to talk him down?

No.

You're have five Mississippi

to get your ass in that vault.

More like five Oregon.
You better run!

Aah!

You think, uh, any of this
stuff is still passable?

Lucinda and her people
are gonna be charged.

Feds said
that diplomatic immunity

doesn't apply since
there's evidence of espionage.

Nice.

Adios, Lucinda.

These wedding venues
are great, Doc,

but... I don't know.

Maybe it's 'cause we almost
kind of got kidnapped there,

but I took a liking
to Crooning Crane.

Let's tie the knot there?

Happy, um...

Ugh.

I can't afford my half
of Crooning Crane.

I, um...

I stopped gambling,
but that doesn't mean

I stopped owing money
to a few people. It's, um...

I-It's like student debt,

except I make payments
to the University of Bruno.

I have been holding off
on telling you, and I'm sorry.

Know what this is?

It's junk.

Five figures worth
of rare motorcycle parts.

I have a problem.

We're both broke?

Mm.

That's great.
'Cause the truth is,

I would marry you in
Kovelsky's parking lot.

I don't care as long
as we say our I do's.

I don't care either.

But let's not get married
in a parking lot.

All right.

I could pawn a
couple carburetors.

No.

Oh, look.
Grandma's back.

Grandma!

Oh, Ralphy, honey, honey!

I missed you so much.

Want to see my new

xenobiology book
I just got from the library?

Yeah! Why don't you go
wash up for dinner

and I'll be right there.

You took him to the library
after all that happened today?

He doesn't need
the burden of knowing

everything that goes wrong here.

You made me strong enough
for the both of us, remember?

I know you're being sarcastic,

but... I threw you in the water

out past the breakers,
and you swam in safe.

Sorry to interrupt.

Paige, you are needed.

The Secret Service was formed

in 1865 with the express purpose

of suppressing
counterfeit currency.

152 years later,
and you guys still

haven't got the hang
of it. It was done

in your own backyard.

You had no idea.

He's turned
his debriefing session

into a dress-down lecture.

The rubber band has snapped
and it's hit

those agents in the face.
You got to mediate this mess.

No.

Let him figure it out.
I'm trying a new approach.

I've been working with Walter
for two and a half years.

I'm done being his water wings.

We've built a
foundation together

and the best way to help him
is to...

throw him into the deep end.

I get it in theory,

but the reality
is this goes one of two ways:

Walter learns to swim
or he drowns.

We're on the news!

An explosion at a warehouse

in Simi Valley today
injured four people.

Several passersby

were also treated
for smoke inhalation.

Authorities have...

Uh-oh.

What's wrong?

I just look terrible.

You have the same look Toby has
every time he runs into someone

he owes money to.

Someone you're avoiding
knows you're back in L.A.?

They didn't.

But they will now.

...scraps of money
fluttering to the ground...

Paige, I'm gonna need
your help on this one.

Do you remember
the Kentucky Two Step?