Scorpion (2014–2018): Season 2, Episode 9 - US vs. UN vs. UK - full transcript

(rhythmic beeping and whooshing)
She's very weak, but most of the mucous has been suctioned
from her lungs, she's breathing easier.
So we can remove the tube?
Goal is to have it out later today.
But once her lungs start filling with fluid, I want it back.
Walter. I want it back in.
DOCTOR: Of course.
I, um, have to finish my rounds,
but I'll check on her again when I'm through.
Thank you.
(door opens)
(door closes)
I can't believe you got a court order
to have your sister intubated.
I'm saving her life.
You know she didn't want the tube.
It scares her, it hurts her.
She's on pain meds. Is that what you've come to?
Hiring a connected lawyer, bamboozling some emergency
surrogate court magistrate in the middle of the night
with your 197 IQ,
having your sister
declared unfit to make her own medical decisions? Her decisions
would've resulted in her dying before I could save her,
so, by definition, she is unfit.
And if you had just gotten her to do the smart thing
on her own, then none of this would've been necessary.
Walter, this is not your call.
Really? 'Cause I have a court order saying that it is.
What's this?
She said you gave it to her when you were kids.
Wanted you to have it even though it's not a Lamborghini.
Some day, I'll pay you back.
I'll take a Lamborghini.
Bright yellow. Race you!
I'll get her a real one when she gets better,
because she will... now that I'm in charge.
(rhythmic beeping)
RAY: What is that?
Knees up! Knees up! Knees up! Knees up! Knees up! Knees up!
Knees up! Knees up! Look at me. It's not the size
of the fight in the dog that matters.
It's the size of the dog in the fight.
I think you got that backwards.
Please don't question the coach! Okay, thank you!
All right, we're gonna do 15 pushups right now.
Go! One. What are you doing to my son?
Hey, Peggy. I'm just helping with his homework.
His report card was a tad subpar.
He gets straight A's. Not in gym.
Ralph doesn't care about gym.
All boys care about gym.
It's Lord of the Flies in there.
And getting picked last is painful, trust me.
I'm not sure I like him telling you guys things instead of me.
He's one of us. We get him.
(Ray laughs) Hey, what is all this?
Hey, Walt. I'm doing...
Oh. Ralph!
You-you okay?
You all right, buddy?
I'm okay. (car horn toots)
Oh. Carpool. Okay.
I got picked last a few times myself.
Don't let it bother you. Come on, champ.
You're all right. Ease up.
Let's go. Ease up. Come on.
How's Megan?
Oh, she'll get well.
Look, Walter, I know it's your nature
to see a problem and want to solve it,
but some things...
there just aren't answers to, and I want to make sure
you're preparing yourself emotionally for that.
You know, just in case.
(door opens) CABE: Come on, gather up.
We got a big one.
Oh, we can continue this.... later?
No need to.
I'll be fine, and...
(clears his throat) ...Megan will be, too.
This is Olivia Cromwell, Director
of British Intelligence, and
this is one of her agents, Ian Gleason.
Since when do we work for MI6?
CABE: Since I said so.
MI6 will be taking the lead on this case.
Homeland will provide support. TOBY: Are we headed
to England for a spot of tea? CROMWELL: No.
New York, and there won't be any time for tea.
Our target
is Jonas Madaky, Ambassador to the U.S.
from the African nation of Buritan.
His title was acquired by a bribes
so that he could travel with diplomatic immunity
and avoid prosecution.
Prosecution for what? Madaky's
real profession is gun runner.
He supplies internationally-banned
weapons to war-torn nations
in Latin American and Africa.
The "soldiers" in this photo
are 14 years old.
The bullets inside them are Madaky's.
Why hasn't he been arrested? Because what
MI6 knows and what we can prove are two different things.
Madaky's a security obsessive.
He never travels without his own guards,
often brings his own
personalized security devices.
It's very hard to get near him.
But he's giving a speech at the UN.
which provides an opportunity.
CABE: The speech is a request
for financial aid to his native land.
But the real reason for the UN visit is a covert meeting
with Suuto Ali, a Delegate from Tesopo.
We believe they're making a plan to send Tesopo
arms to take out tens of thousands of rebels
who want a more democratic form of government.
CROMWELL: I was an aid worker in Buritan. I've seen
firsthand the suffering that Madaky and his weapons caused.
What is our mission?
When Madaky and Ali meet, they'll converse
in a nearly extinct Koisan language.
Less than 12 people on earth can translate it.
There's limited source material, and it takes years to learn it.
Gleason is fluent.
TOBY: A linguist who doesn't speak.
How ironic. GLEASON: I'm fluent
in 60 languages, proficient in another 12.
Oh, really? Do you know this one?
Your owtiebay is amelay.
PAIGE: Why a linguist?
Can't you just sneak a recording device or something?
HAPPY: No, recording isn't
allowed anywhere in the UN except the General Assembly.
To keep everyone honest, they use auditory spectral masking--
white noise audiograms
at frequencies you can't hear,
but recording devices pick up.
You can record, but you just get static.
CROMWELL: That's why
you need to bypass UN security
so that Gleason can get close enough
to overhear the conversation between Madaky and Ali.
He'll decipher the when and where
of the weapon exchange.
We'll intercept it, arrest Madaky,
and save innumerable innocent lives.
Can't MI6 and Homeland work with the UN Security Council
to get access for your linguist? COOPER: The evidence against
Madaky was been obtained via illegal wiretap
and satellite imagery.
It proves Madaky's evil, but it can't be used
as the basis for a Security Council request.
CROMWELL: Cooper and I will monitor you
from the Homeland Security office in New York,
while you use your brainpower
to get Gleason inside the UN undetected.
Do this, and people live.
We have to do it without Sylvester.
I don't want her alone. You guys okay with this?
I'm in.
The man helps kids kill kids.
Let's get him.
WALTER: Chief Cromwell,
what is security like?
The UN has three rings of security.
This outer ring is New York City,
patrolled by NYPD-mounted SWAT.
Points around the outside of the building indicating cameras.
Happy, see what I see?
Okay, assume a 3.6 millimeter focal length,
he'll get a blind spot right about here.
PAIGE: Well, why worry about blind spots?
You're a master at fake IDs. Whip something up.
I can make stuff that looks good,
but official UN IDs have holograms
that take days to counterfeit.
As soon as the cops swipe them
through the readers, we're busted.
Well, standard SWAT formation
places a mounted officer there
so that blind spot doesn't help us.
Unless we can distract that horse.
They're prey animals. If we had pheromones from in-heat horses
of both genders... RAY: My buddy at the track
can get us some horse pee.
Hey. I'm Ray.
Tell the queen I said, "What's up?"
TOBY: Horses have schnozzes second only to dogs,
so I can pour out the urine far enough away to not be seen,
but close enough for the steed to smell it.
(neighing) As Trigger looks for his mating partner,
we sneak past that first layer of security.
CROMWELL: Next layer's trickier.
Full body scanners
with state-of-the-art,
triple rotation millimeter wave imaging.
That's here in this area, which is deemed Federal land.
CABE: Well, you get caught there,
it's off to Leavenworth.
Scanners aren't a problem.
It's not like we're carrying in guns or anything.
But we will be carrying items necessary
to get us through the final layer of security
that I'm looking at over here.
Now those items can't be spotted by the scanners.
No jumping ahead to the next phase please.
They're geniuses. They always jump ahead.
I'm with Mrs. Doubtfire here.
I mean, who cares about
the third step?
We're never gonna be able to get there
if we have to sneak contraband past these high-end scanners.
I mean, how does that happen?
We're gonna get Paige pregnant.
What?!
WALTER: We'll hide what we need in Paige's fake stomach.
PAIGE: Hold on. Won't the scanner see through my belly?
HAPPY: Not if I'm underground in an electrical conduit tunnel.
Step forward.
HAPPY: A few crossed wires,
I short out the scanners with a power surge.
Happy now.
(electrical pop, electricity whirs down)
Looks like we lost power.
Ma'am, step through, please.
(electrical squeaking)
(squeaking) Okay.
Go ahead.
The last security layer is
within international jurisdiction.
Before you can be admitted to the UN proper,
you've got to get past a biometric
hand reader. It maps
the individual web signature of your palms.
Everyone's is unique.
How do they get past that?
WALTER: Any nation
not sending delegates to the conference? Italy.
They've had trade issues with Buritan
and won't attend as a protest. Perfect.
HAPPY: Okay, I got a nice clear shot of the paw.
TOBY: Laying over a color filter
so blue deoxygenated veins stand out.
WALTER: That is perfect.
Toby, you sure about your contact?
He's a top medical prosthetics researcher at NYU.
More importantly, he's a lousy card player. He owes me.
Hold on. I'm gonna be carrying fake hands in my stomach?
TOBY: And we're gonna slip those fake hands on
and use them to go right through the scanners.
(indistinct chatter)
Congratulations, Ms. Dineen. It's quadruplets.
PAIGE: Won't people know what the Italian delegates look like?
WALTER: Well, members of the General Assembly, yes.
But security guards see thousands of people pass there
a week. They're just looking for a green light.
(beep)
Where do I fit in this plan?
You'll be with me, Professor.
Now, the city's electrical grid runs
8X RMC conduit to insure that the UN meets energy demands.
The tunnels to support that kind of work
have to be right under the building.
And there are access panels
to the UN's basement for electrical workers.
It's locked from the inside, but our team will let us in.
(door squeaking)
Man, it stinks down there.
WALTER: Well, the UN was built
over slaughterhouse dumps. Those brass vents down there?
They're slow-releasing decades-old methane pockets.
That, or Cabe had jerky on the plane again.
MAN: Hands up! Turn around! (gun chamber clicks)
Who are you?! What are you doing here?!
Take it easy. We're electricians.
We're doing an inspection.
More importantly, who are you,
and what are you doing down here with a gun no less?
I'm a security guard for Ambassador Madaky.
Stationed here in case anyone tries to harm him.
(grunting, blows landing)
What language was that?
What going on, Gleason?
As you've probably deduced,
I'm not here to translate anything.
Bollocks, his accent switched
from Colin Firth to Michael Caine.
Is anything about you real? Yes.
My conviction.
I'm here to assassinate Ambassador Jonas Madaky.
And all of you
are gonna help me.
Seriously, Doc? You couldn't read that this guy was crooked?
MI6 is trained to not be readable.
It's like the CIA, but with crumpets.
All right now, close the door.
(door squeaking shut)
CROMWELL: Gleason?
What's your status?
Well, we ran into one
of Madaky's men, but he was dispatched.
Scorpion has been advised of the new arrangement.
What new arrangement? HAPPY: Arrangement of
them screwing us.
I'm sorry, Deputy Director,
but Madaky is just too valuable a target
for us to let this opportunity pass by.
CABE: They want us to help
assassinate him, Katherine.
Cromwell, this mission of yours ends now.
Need I remind you,
you are on U.S. soil.
Indeed.
But they're on international soil.
And your team is on film
entering the UN under false pretenses.
So it's a matter of time before they're identified.
And then they will be arrested and tried for murder
in the International Court
in the Netherlands.
I don't know who you think you're working with,
but we're not killers.
I know exactly who I'm working with.
Now, I don't want to strong-arm you,
but I have orders to forbid you
to walk away from this.
You played me
from our first meeting.
What choice did I have?
Your team would never have agreed to this
unless they were painted into a corner.
Now, it may be distasteful,
but I am willing to trade my ethics for Madaky's heartbeat.
Please don't underestimate what I'm willing to do
to see this happen. Don't make me send you to prison.
We have no choice.
I'm glad you see it our way.
Now, I suggest we find
a secluded conference room upstairs,
and I'll fill you all in.
Since I'm MI6, you follow my lead.
MI6, MI6.
Big deal. They're barely better than MI5,
and they're half as good as MI12.
Chief Cromwell, are we connected? Yes.
Are you in a secure location? WALTER: Secure for now.
But every moment that we're here increases our chances
of being caught.
So I suggest that you present
your plan, and we will advise if we can help.
Directness appreciated.
Our intel believes that Madaky and Ali will make their deal
on the 15th floor in a locked meeting room.
Now, these rooms have no cameras for confidentiality,
and no one will be there save for Madaky, Ali,
and some of their men. So when bullets fly,
no innocents will get hurt.
I enter with my head down so hallway cameras
can't read my face,
dispose of my target, and exit.
Sounds like you've got it figured out. Why do you need us?
Remember how we said Madaky liked to travel
with personal security accoutrements?
One of these is a high-level
security door he has his advance team install.
Now, I need you to hack the computerized lock
so I can enter that meeting room with an element of surprise.
And I need you to hurry.
Madaky speaks before the General Assembly
in an hour, and we're certain he's gonna want to get back
to Africa as soon as possible. He won't dally.
There's a good chance his meeting with Ali
is taking place right now.
Walter, what are you doing?
Hacking into Madaky's laptop. The odds are the software
that programs his door lock is on it.
You're really gonna help kill a man? No. I'm gonna help open a door,
and then we get the hell out of here. Whatever Gleason does
after that is his responsibility.
TOBY: That's a moral rationalization
if I ever heard one.
Do you want to get locked up overseas?
Do you want to see Ralph again?
Then let me work.
(indistinct chatter)
(moans softly)
Hey.
Hey, you're awake.
(hoarsely): Water.
Water. Yes.
Remember, you have to take small sips.
Please...
...Sylvester...
...never again.
The intubation?
Megan, Walter has a court order.
Please...
Okay.
I'll find a way.
Have you found a way?
I'm into his system. Well,
hurry up! Shouting at me
and waving your gun does not help.
O-kay, this is bad.
Gleason, you need to see this.
CROMWELL: What? What is it?
What did he find?
Is this for real?
I'm afraid so.
Not good. I asked you a question, Gleason.
What's the problem?
I can't unlock the door.
What do you mean you can't unlock the door?
Can you hear me?
Why can't you unlock the door? Madaky's door lock
is air-gapped. But there is a stand-alone keypad
that connects to the interior of the door via Ethernet cable.
You punch a password
directly into it to open the door.
Gleason?
Yeah, he's telling the truth.
I saw the specs myself.
HAPPY: Uh, guys,
things just got worse.
I've hacked the security cameras
on the 15th floor hallway.
Look.
CABE: All right, the deal's done.
We're too late. We got to go before we get busted.
Like hell it's too late.
My team has done what it could.
I'm under direct orders from Downing Street
to do whatever is necessary to complete my objective.
Now, if that means locking your entire team up
and throwing away the key, then that is what I will do.
I'm sorry, Deputy Director.
This is not personal.
I am simply doing my duty.
I'm gonna find a bathroom.
I think I'm gonna be sick.
Okay. We've got to come up with a new idea.
I recall from the blueprints that the seventh floor
is nothing but HVAC,
electrical, and plumbing. There's no surveillance.
Gleason can do the hit there.
Except Madaky's speech is in less than an hour.
He's probably on his way to the green room to wait
his turn to speak. He won't stop on the seventh floor.
Like hell he won't.
Over here!
This is crazy that we're doing this, right?
Well, psychologically speaking, "crazy" is a catchall
for a myriad of pathologies and circumstances,
but, yeah, this is nuttier than a fruitcake.
Okay, Walt, I've got control of the elevator.
Just tell me when. Okay.
They just stepped onto the elevator.
I'll stand by here
in case Madaky gets past you.
All right, Walter, I know this is a last resort,
but it's gonna be over soon.
PAIGE: He's almost on the seventh floor.
Are you sure you can do this? Uh, no. Okay, Happy, now.
What the hell?
Okay, I flip the switch and then we hustle. Ready?
Go!
(elevator dings, bell rings)
O'Brien, it's stuck. Yeah, I know.
There's a slight glitch.
(gunshots)
(gunshots)
Okay. Got the doors open.
(elevator dings)
(grunting)
(shouts, groans)
(grunting)
(gunshots)
(grunts)
(panting)
I'll check him for an I.D.
This isn't the first attempt on my life.
Assassins do not carry I.D.
I will contact the General Assembly,
tell them there is a threat and we are leaving immediately.
You'll do no such thing! Word gets out there's been an attempt on my life,
it brings attention.
People I do business with
do not like attention.
I will address the General Assembly
as scheduled. Then we will leave.
I will let nothing jeopardize my deal with Ali.
What about him?
Toss him in there.
CROMWELL: What's happening?
I need an update.
Tell Cromwell that Madaky's still alive.
Gleason's dead.
They just put his body down the incinerator.
(sighs) I'm sorry about the elevator. It was my fault.
There could've been some tics in my wiring. CROMWELL: It doesn't matter
whose fault it was.
Gleason was a top agent and a good man,
murdered by a bastard.
You just lost your assassin.
My team
is in jeopardy just being in that building. I need
to pull them out now. No, we're finishing the job.
We're doing what now? Yeah, I'm pretty sure
we can convince the mean British lady not to send us to jail. No.
Madaky just threw a human being down an incinerator shoot
like he was garbage.
This is a man who supports
mass killings and genocide, and, what,
we're just gonna let him go free to do it some more?
We're not MI6 or the CIA. Yeah,
we're geeks. What is
the point in us having these abilities
if we don't use them to stop
what's bad in the world?
Greater good. But, Walter,
you are not a murderer. This is not
murder-- this is self-defense.
We're protecting the world.
Now, Madaky
is scheduled to give his speech in 14 minutes.
He's probably already down in the green room.
Once he gives that speech, he's gone.
I have an idea how to take Madaky out,
if we're all in.
I can't believe I'm doing this,
but that was a pretty rousing speech.
We're a team, so yeah.
I hope you know what you're doing. I do.
But my plan depends on Happy finding hard salami casings
down in the commissary. Salami casings?
They contain potassium nitrate.
They're making a bomb. Not a bomb. A small,
directionally designed charge.
Just enough to take Madaky out
without causing serious damage to anyone around him.
You thinking his briefcase? Exactly.
Now, we'll swap his laptop for a charge
of almost identical dimensions and size
so that he will not feel the change in weight.
Leave that to me. Doc, can you meet me backstage
at the General Assembly in five minutes?
Copy that.
Walter, can you manipulate
temperature controls in here from your laptop?
I've controlled satellites from this computer before.
I can handle a thermostat. Okay, crank the heat
by the southwest Security Check on the second floor.
Paige, you come with me.
♪ ♪
Oh, yes.
Happy, you almost done?
I'm sorry I'm not making a bomb
out of salami fast enough for you.
Actually, you're not.
Madaky goes on right after
the Polish delegate's speech,
and that guy's up next.
Yeah, well, let's hope Cabe's stall tactic works then. Yeah.
I'm working on that right now.
(indistinct chatter)
Damn thing's busted.
Scusa.
Come si dice...
(Italian accent): Uh, I lost my watch. My wristwatch.
Oh. Okay, sir. What you want to do
is you want to go to the Lost and Found.
It's at the Visitors Desk on the first floor.
Grazie, grazie, grazie.
Mr. President, ministers, your excellencies,
and ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to welcome you... (speaking Polish)
Excuse me, ma'am, you're needed
to translate over at the security council meeting
at the conference building.
But I was assigned here. Understood,
but the translator dropped out and we want a senior linguist
to handle the meeting. A replacement
will be sent to the Polish delegate shortly.
Okay, if you say so.
Sir.
(line ringing) You're up, doc. Drag it out.
This is Ray.
Hello, Ray. It's Toby.
Hey, doc.
What's happenin', cap'n?
Your last name's Spiewack, right? Is that Polish?
As Polish as a bratwurst.
That's German, dummy. Look, do you know any Polish at all?
I was raised by my Grandma Etoile.
And that's French.
Look, we're on a case and we're in a bit of a bind.
You're gonna hear some people in the background speaking Polish.
I got my phone linked into my comm.
I'm gonna need you to translate it back to me in English.
De nada, amigo.
Now we have Spanish.
Remind me to punch you when we get back.
MODERATOR: Thank you, Ambassador Daroolay.
Now speaking, Ambassador Marik Kaluza of Poland.
Okay, Ray, we're on.
Okay.
Been a while since I've spoken Polish.
(speaks Polish)
(speaks Polish)
Cabe, I can only delay this for so long.
CABE: Just do what you always do--
refuse to shut up.
(speaking Polish)
RAY: Um, uh... distinguished, uh, people...
members of the General Assembly. Wait,
hold on a second-- holy cow, are you at the UN?
Distinguished members
of the General Assembly,
what a privilege and an honor it is
to speak to you today
in this great institution
that-that is the United Nations.
Bomb's ready. Three types of cleaning solution,
two pounds of salami parts and one baking tin.
I am done. Paige, you are up.
Roger that.
Hi.
Who are you? Makeup.
For your speech.
I don't need makeup. The UN
is recording today's session for their archives.
Uh, they have new lights over the stage--
makes everyone shiny.
Please, I get in trouble if I don't do my job.
And we can't have the most handsome delegate
not looking his best.
Okay, come.
Do what you do. Great,
I'll just get my stuff and get to it.
Happy. How's it look?
Like a TV dinner that goes boom.
Good work. Someone
fill me in, please. On our way
to the green room with the completed bomb.
It runs via chemical- kinetic reaction,
so once I shake it up, we have 15 minutes
until it detonates. Okay, well, you better get it in that green room
before Madaky leaves, because otherwise
you lose your only opportunity.
And I'm not sure this Polish delegate's speech
can be dragged out much further.
(speaking Polish)
RAY: Okay, uh, at this point,
I would like to talk about
the United Nations Children's...
Fund?
At this point, I would like to talk about
the United Nations Children's Fund, because
when you think about it,
children really are the future.
I say, teach 'em well,
let them lead the way.
HAPPY: We need more time, doc.
Actually, children often don't know
where they're going.
Because the hippocampus
isn't fully developed un-until you're much older.
That-that's what controls your sense of direction.
Go ahead.
Okay, almost done, except
I'm out of concealer. Just be a minute.
I'm gonna have my assistant Ursula
come bring me what I need.
(phone dings)
"Ursula, bring me concealer."
Huh. I don't look like an Ursula.
Okay, this is it. You ready?
No. Too bad.
Reaction's begun.
And you're giving it to me. Yeah, and you better hurry,
because in less than 15 minutes, that bomb goes off.
Unless, of course, the reaction accelerates,
and then you have a lot less.
And I get to hold it. Fantastic.
You know, the light is terrible. Do you mind moving over there?
Fine. Make it quick.
Okay.
Ursula.
Finally. If you can't work faster,
you can't work for me.
Sorry, ma'am.
Here, put this base back in my bag and go help
with the Norwegians on the third floor. Give them some color.
(Madaky clears throat)
BODYGUARD: This Polish delegate is an idiot.
Okay, I'll be right upstairs, boss.
Whatever.
This kind of thing we're doing isn't exactly our style.
You sure about all this? Yeah.
I'll be fine. Headed to the basement now.
You get into position and wait for Paige.
Things are about to get crazy.
We passed crazy a long time ago.
Okay.
I thank the Assembly for their time today
and, uh, their attention
to-to this important platter. Matter.
It's not platter. Tob...
I thank the Assembly for their time today
and attention to this important matter.
And I would like to take this moment
to address the unfair percentage
of ethnic jokes directed to the Polish people.
For the record,
we have the formula for ice cubes
and it takes only one of us to screw in a light bulb.
(whispers): Thank God.
That's all. Thank you for your time.
Don't forget to tip your waiters.
MODERATOR: Thank you, Ambassador Kaluza.
Speaking next, Ambassador Jonas Madaky
of Buritan. (applause)
(clears throat)
Members of the General Assembly, it is an honor
to speak to you today on the subject
of the continuing crisis in Buritan.
Sorry I'm late.
Toby had me tied up with a case.
You know how it is with Scorpion.
Did you grab what we need? I am so sorry.
I couldn't get it on such short notice, but I did
grab a couple Band-Aids.
You guys ready? Well...
let's burn this bacon.
According to my calculations, we should have detonation
in approximately five, four, three...
...two, one.
Good-bye, Jonas.
And now, with the civil war in Tesopo
driving hundreds of thousands of refugees...
What the hell happened, O'Brien? I assume
not enough potassium nitrate in the salami rind
to set off a reaction.
But I have a backup, we'll get Madaky
before he leaves the building.
MADAKY: As you well know...
Where are you going?
I'm sorry, Katherine.
I'm going to arrange a car.
I have to personally detain them if they fail in this mission.
Sending financial aid
to Buritan is not just a political necessity,
it is a moral responsibility.
Thank you.
Got eyes on him. They're in the east stairwell headed toward
Madaky's chopper on the roof.
One of his men is carrying his bag.
Aah!
MAN: B Team, move in. Shoot to kill!
Whoever tried to kill me before must've sent more men.
Secure the chopper!
Head 'em off at the pass!
We can't get to the helicopter. Call the car.
We'll meet in the garage.
Head 'em off at the pass-- who are you, Roy Rogers?
Oh, Happy was right-- it stinks down here.
Okay, they're headed to the northeast parking structure
right above me. Okay.
One, two, three.
They set explosives.
We're under attack.
Tell the driver to meet us by the parking ramp
on the east side of the building.
Now go!
(sirens wail in distance) Hear those fire trucks.
They'll think it's a gas line break.
Walter's brilliance still surprises me.
Yeah, don't celebrate yet.
We still don't know if his plan'll work.
Uh, we'll know soon enough. You ready?
Light him up.
(engine starts)
Now. (engine revving)
Madaky.
Hey, did you guys see me on stage?
I think I should run for office.
What do you mean he's getting away?
Madaky's limo's driving away,
along the river. We missed him.
If you want to catch him yourself
then you better drive faster.
TOBY: Okay, guys, let's go.
MADAKY: Hurry up!
There's a car following us.
What the hell are you doing?
Why are you stopping?
Driver?
Ambassador. I saw you shot.
I dumped your body.
I'm a ghost. Boo.
(tires screech)
You're not going anywhere, pal. Homeland Security.
You're under arrest. You can't arrest me.
You have no authority here.
The UN is international soil!
From the stairwell to the explosion,
we took out your guys, manipulated you to our limo,
and then drove you right here,
20 feet over the federal line of jurisdiction.
Makeup girls. You should have used
more concealer-- maybe we wouldn't have found you.
Comedy really isn't your thing.
(tires screech)
Why is he still alive?
Hello, boss.
COOPER: Why is he still alive?
Someone fill me in now. Gladly.
But I think it's best we let our Houdinis explain
how they pulled off their sleight-of-hand.
For starters, only the first three rounds
in Gleason's gun were real.
The rest were blanks, made by Happy.
She simply removed the lead bullet from the shell,
leaving only powder in the cartridge.
All the bang with none of the death.
Then all I had to do
was excuse myself from the conference room...
I'm gonna find a bathroom-- I think I'm gonna be sick.
...sneak to the kitchen...
a little corn syrup, food coloring-- instant bloodbath
for under Gleason's shirt.
And I've beaten Muay Thai masters in Bangkok,
so making that fight go exactly the way I wanted
was a walk in the park.
I disarmed the guard so the gun with blanks
(silenced gunshots) was the only one in play.
Made him think he'd shot me in the stomach
after I directed the fisticuffs
to right in front of the incinerator chute.
First Tenet of Behavioral Decision Making--
when faced with a rapid-panic scenario,
the most convenient option is always taken.
I knew if you had to dispose of the body
you'd shove it in the first barrel, closet
or trash chute that you saw.
HAPPY: And going down the incinerator chute
doesn't necessarily mean you end up in the incinerator.
Okay, I flip the switch and then we hustle. Ready?
Go!
(grunting)
GLEASON: Whoa... oh!
(groans) You couldn't have found anything softer
to break my fall?
Since murder isn't covered under diplomatic immunity,
you're out of luck, Ambassador,
because I've captured it all right here on tape.
Digital. Shut up.
But he isn't really dead.
No body, no homicide.
Oh, there's physical evidence down there,
enough to make a case.
You cut off your finger?
HAPPY: MI6 is
so badass. MADAKY: Fine.
My army of lawyers will get me out of here,
and I'll pay mercenaries to come into this country
and track each of you down.
Oh, not unless making license plates
pays a lot more than I think it does.
When we switched out your laptop for the bomb--
which was no more than a homemade stun grenade
on a timer meant to take out one of your guards--
I hacked into all your encrypted bank accounts.
According to my calculations,
we should have detonation
in approximately five, four, three,
two, one.
Your cupboards are bare now, Madaky.
But the good news is, all your money has been donated
to refugee charities of war-torn nations
that you decimated.
So generous of you.
Get this guy out of here.
Who are you people?!
Oh, we're the guys you picked last in gym class.
What about all these moralistic debates about killing?
WALTER: Cromwell was listening
on speaker.
Didn't want her to catch on,
so... we acted.
TOBY: Figured how hard could it be
if actors could do it?
What about you, Gleason?
Why did you go along with it,
instead of following orders and taking out Madaky?
I suspect because he discovered that I was in business with Madaky.
It was when you hacked into his computer to open the security door, wasn't it?
This is bad. Gleason,
you need to see this.
CROMWELL: What? What is it? What did he find?
Is this for real? WALTER: I'm afraid so.
HAPPY: Not good.
CROMWELL: I asked you
a question, Gleason.
What's the problem?
I can't unlock the door.
What do you mean you can't unlock the door?
Cromwell is in bed with Madaky, but with the minds in this room,
we can take her down and get Madaky, too.
You just need to decide
whether you can trust us
within the next two seconds.
CROMWELL: Gleason, can you hear me?
Why can't you unlock the door?
One second.
Madaky's door lock is air-gapped,
but there is a stand-alone keypad that connects
to the interior of the door
via Ethernet cable.
You punch a password directly into it
to open the door.
Yeah, he's telling the truth.
What happened, Chief?
All those years doing African aid work,
you decide to finally get yours, team up with Madaky
and then take him out so you don't have to share the profits?
Well, you figured it out, and you're not even a genius.
I'd hoped to avoid all of this, but you lot are too smart for your own good.
So now Deputy Director Cooper will pay the price.
Come on, Deputy Director, you're my passport to freedom.
I will shoot. Shoulder lock,
jaw tension, shooter's measured breathing--
she's not bluffing. COOPER: Come on, Cromwell,
shoot me! Uh, neither is Cooper.
You...
(gasps)
COOPER: Don't worry.
She's empty. TOBY: I can't wait to hear
this explanation. When she went to get the car,
I unloaded her gun.
When did you know she was dirty?
I know my team. There's no way
you're going along with an assassination plot.
It had to be theater for someone's benefit. Madaky's gonna
count the minutes until he can testify against you.
Wow. Not that his testimony
is necessary.
What's in his laptop should put you in that Dutch cell
you threatened to put these boffins in.
And I can't wait for that to happen.
You're a disgrace to MI6 and all it stands for.
CABE: Let's go.
(sirens wailing in distance)
WALTER: You better get going, too, Gleason.
Police and fire trucks arriving.
It's pretty high-profile stuff for a secret agent
who's supposed to be dead...
Gleason?
He's so badass.
NEWSWOMAN: It's all in connection with Ambassador Madaky,
who has been charged with the murder
of an MI6 agent inside the UN General Assembly building.
(TV clicks off)
Hey-hey, Ray! Hey, Wally!
You guys are on the TV.
Well, kind of. They didn't mention you.
They rarely do.
Went all the way to New York and didn't even catch a show.
WALTER: Yeah, well, maybe next time.
Are you going somewhere?
To see Megan.
(groans) Shirt stinks of methane. (chuckles)
Thank God. Thought Cabe got into the jerky again.
(chuckles)
It's just, we jumped through so many hoops today,
you know, performing for Cromwell...
faking a death, risking our lives--
all to avoid killing an evil man.
Greater Good says
it should be an easy call, and so why... isn't it?
Because... you're becoming more and more human,
and... humans shouldn't treat death casually.
Death is difficult.
Right, Walter?
Hmm.
I'm tired. It's been a long day.
Um, can you give me a lift to see Megan?
Oh, sure.
What's going on?
Why is she not intubated?
I left you here to take care of her.
I am taking care of her.
I'm giving her what she wants.
It's not your call.
My court order
supersedes anything that anyone wants.
Not anymore.
We didn't have time to get rings.
♪ ♪
Y-You got married?
Ray's a licensed minister
with the Immaculate Church of the Internet.
Your court order
gave you control over Megan's medical decisions
because she didn't have a spouse or offspring.
Well, I am her spouse now.
And if she doesn't want to be intubated,
then she doesn't have to be.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
Thank you for the car.
Came in handy today.
But you've always been there for me,
haven't you?
Ever since we were little.
I can't fail you when it's my turn.
Walter, doing what she wants isn't failing her.
You're right. If intubation causes her pain,
then, uh...
it's over-- no more.
But Megan is... strong,
and I know that she'll hold on until my research is done,
so...
I know I can preserve her life.
So I won't stop trying.
Good.
I don't want you to, because I love her.
I know you do.
♪ ♪
Walter, where are you doing?
To save her life.
I don't treat death casually.