Scooby's Laff-A Lympics (1977–1979): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Sahara Desert and Scotland - full transcript

Scooby and characters meet up in the Sahara desert and Scotland for the event.

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ANNOUNCER:
It's Scooby's All Star Laff-A-Lympics.

Staring Scooby-Doo and the gang...

Scooby-Doo.

...Blue Falcon and his mechanical misfit,
Dynomutt, Dog Wonder...

That's me. Ha-ha-ha.

...and introducing the world's
first superhero, Captain Caveman...

...and his mystery-solving companions,
the Teen Angels.

Captain Caveman!

And it's round-the-world
triple-team competition...

...with the Scooby Doobies...

...Yogi Yahooeys and Really Rottens.



[SNICKERS]

Forty-five stars in the Laff-A-Lympics.

Yes, it's
Scooby's All Star Laff-A-Lympics.

Yeah.

ANNOUNCER:
Greetings, sports fans.

It's time for another exciting
All Star Laff-A-Lympics.

First, we'll take you deep
into the everglade swamps...

...in lovely downtown Florida.

Then, straddling the globe to China,
in mysterious Hong Kong...

...home of chop suey
and Hong Kong Phooey...

...where today's events
will be concluded.

Now back to the Everglades,
where the Yogi Yahooeys...

...the Really Rottens...

...and the Scooby Doobies
will once again strive...



...for the Laff-A-Lympic gold medal.

The first event will be
the water-sizzling swamp buggy race.

So without further adieu, take it away,
Mildew and Snagglepuss.

It's your on-the-scene reporters,
speaking to you directly from the swamp.

Up to our necks in it, even.

And here's Snagglepuss...

...to introduce the contestants
in this soggy merry-go-round.

I'll do that. That I'll do.

But first, exit both of us, straight down.

SNAGGLEPUSS: And here, representing
the Yogi Yahooeys, is Grape Ape.

Grape Ape.

Grape Ape, how do you fit
four tons of gargantua...

...into an itsy-bitsy swamp buggy,
may I ask?

- Grape Ape.
SNAGGLEPUSS: I see.

Two tons each into two buggies.

Next, driving for the Scooby Doobies
is Scooby Dum.

[HUMMING]

The Dread Baron and Creeply
represent the Really Rottens.

- Brak.
- Here's the starting flag.

So get going already. Go.

ANNOUNCER:
And they're off.

Grape Ape.

Watch it, you kooky canine.

That's a swamp buggy, not a helicopter.

[HUMMING]

[SNICKERING]

ANNOUNCER: The Rottens have just shot
into the lead, literally burning up the water.

While the ever-graceful Grape Ape
gives a left-foot turn signal...

...and keeps turning left.

Back at the race, the Rottens are
still up front, with Scooby Dum coming up.

[HUMMING]

ANNOUNCER:
In last place, it's Grape Ape...

...but he's coming back up in the race
and moving up on the leaders.

The Rottens are almost certain to win.
But wait.

Scooby Dum, drat.

Quick, Dread Baron, a dirty trick.

DREAD BARON:
Relax.

Out with the old motor, in with the new.

And one Rotten rocket blasting off.

Snagglepuss here, at the finish line.

Flash, a tornado or a giant eggbeater
just went by.

And here comes Grape Ape
and Scooby Dum, neck and neck.

And Grape Ape bubbles under
for first place.

But what happened to the Rottens?

But then, who cares?

An urgent cablegram
from the South Pole, even.

"That wasn't a tornado
or a giant eggbeater...

...crossing the finish line first.

It was the Really Rottens."

ANNOUNCER:
So the results are in:

The Rottens whirl into the lead
with 25 points.

The Yogi Yahooeys are second with 15,
and the Scooby Doobies, 10...

...for third place.

[CHEERING]

ANNOUNCER: Moving right along,
but still in the swamps...

...it's the waterskiing contest...

...where the contestants are judged
on their style and originality.

Now down to Wally Gator,
an athlete born to the water...

...representing the Yogi Yahooeys.

And here we are,
for a prerecorded interview.

Wally, how do you keep in such great shape
for waterskiing?

Oh, it's simple, you see.

Every day, I practice outrunning
a speeding bullet.

And leaping trees in a single bounce.

All that to keep in shape for waterskiing?

WALLY:
Well, it's not for waterskiing.

I have to keep in shape
or somebody might change my shape...

...to an alligator-handbag shape,
you know. Ha-ha-ha.

A little croc comedy there, you see.
Ha-ha-ha.

We're here at the starting point
with Babu from the Scooby team.

Well, Babu, I hope you're not gonna use
any of your mixed-up magic.

Of course not.

I'm not even gonna say a magic word.

Not even once.

What magic words?

Yapple-dapple.

Ooh, I said it.

Listen, if we ever need a genie,
don't call us, we'll call you.

[CRO AKING]

Say, what is this? They wouldn't dare.

A 4000-horsepower race engine?

MRS. CREEPLY: Just a little extra power
just in case, darling.

MILDEW:
Listen, Mrs. Creeply...

...that simply isn't sporting
to have any extras.

DINKY:
Extras?

I don't see any extras.

Do you see any extras?

Well, now that you mentioned it,
I don't see a thing.

The next time I interview savages,
I'll wear a crash helmet.

ANNOUNCER:
And the contest begins.

With Huckleberry Hound driving...

...and Wally Gator tailing along
for the Yogis.

And now, for the Scooby Doobies,
it's that terrific Teen Angel, Taffy...

...in the boat with Babu skiing.

Oh, this is fun.

Keep your eyes open, Babu.

There's a jump up ahead.

[CHUCKLING]

He won't jump far with his feet stuck
in iron glue. Right, Orful?

ANNOUNCER:
Approaching the ramp... Oh, no.

Taffy's boat is stuck,
but not our Teen Angel.

Babu is hitting the ramp at full speed
and flattens it.

[BOTH GURGLING]

ANNOUNCER: Amazing. A 3000-foot jump
without boat or skis.

Oh, no, Babu. We'll need a boat to finish.

One little boat coming up.

Yapple-dapple.

Oh, boy.

Oh, Babu, you really did it.

ANNOUNCER:
And now, to the Rottens.

It's Mrs. Creeply and son driving
with Mumbly on the skis.

Mumbly is taking no chances
on losing his tow rope.

And there he goes.

Oh, no.
They made that left turn too sharp.

Look at Mumbly flip up and down.
Too bad.

Hello there.

Here I am,
your on-the-scene sportscaster, again.

Tell us, Mumbly, what do you have to say
about your showing?

[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]

ANNOUNCER:
Wait, what's this?

Mumbly is winding up his performance
in flawless style.

You know, there's something rotten
about all this.

Congratulations, darling. You did it.

And Mama is so proud of her little boy.

Eh. It was nothing, Ma.

Spoken like a Really Rotten.
Right, darling?

[SNICKERING]

SNAGGLEPUSS:
Wait a minute.

Are my eyes deceiving me?
Twin Mumblys?

ANNOUNCER: Back to the scoreboard,
the points have been tallied.

Based on style and originality...

...it's a tie,
with each team scoring 20 points.

And the Rottens still hold the lead.

[CHEERING]

Brak.

Is there no justice here?

You tell them, Blue Falcon.

I just did, Dog Wonder.

- Cheaters always pay.
ANNOUNCER: You're right, Blue Falcon.

And the Rottens will really pay.

A 10-point penalty
for illegal equipment...

...10 points for gluing the ski ramp
and 20 points for double contestants.

Hear that, B. F?

There is justice here. Ha-ha-ha.

Yes, Dog Wonder.

Now, let go of my arm.

ANNOUNCER:
And so the score after two events:

The Yogi Yahooeys, 35,
Scooby Doobies, 30...

...and the Really Rottens
hit bottom with 5.

[BOOING]

ANNOUNCER: And now, to our next
super Laff-A-Lympic event...

...at the Naytona Beach Speedway
where the famous 501-mile auto race...

...is already in progress.

And what an exciting race it's been...

...as they speedily speed
toward the finish line.

It looks to me like the pig-style special
is coming in.

Smells that way, even.

Let's switch to the more
bounce-to-the-ounce power, Speedy.

[SPEED BUGG Y SPUTTERING]

Okay.

ANNOUNCER: In a last-second rally,
Speed Buggy bounces ahead.

Across to win,
taking 25 points for first place.

In second place,
it's the Really Rottens for 15 points.

What happened to Hokey?

Yeah, verily.

Where did he go? Vanished, even.

I demand a replay.

ANNOUNCER: By popular demand, we now
bring you a frame-by-frame instant replay.

Starring Hokey Wolf.

It was the beginning of the last lap
when Hokey got up in the air...

...and drove into
Daisy Mayhem's smoke screen.

But hold it. What's this?

A huge clamp dropped into the cloud
to pull Hokey out.

And up to a dirigible, where he was
held up and out of the race.

Yes, folks.
It was another Really Rotten trick.

[SNICKERING]

ANNOUNCER:
That's what happened on the track.

Now, let's see what's happening
at the score-board.

The Scoobys' win brings them up to 55.

The Rottens, with 15 points for second,
brings them to 20.

And the Yogis, with 10 for third,
brings them up to 45.

However, because the Rottens carnapped
the Yogis' entry...

...their 15 points will be given
to the Yogi Yahooeys instead.

[CHEERING]

ANNOUNCER:
That makes the final scores...

...the Yogi Yahooeys in first,
with 60 points...

...the Scooby Doobies second, with 55...

...while the Really Rottens
remain in third place with 5.

But this is only the first half.

But there's lots more to come.

Another half, even.

ANNOUNCER:
Yes, later this morning we go to China...

...where Hong Kong
will be the scene of the final events.

Don't go away.

We'll be back
with the thrill-packed conclusion...

...of today's All Star Laff-A-Lympics.

ANNOUNCER:
Welcome back, sports fans.

Here we are in China for the second half
of the fantastic All Star Laff-A-Lympics...

...with the ever-popular rickshaw race
as the featured event...

...for a 25-point first prize.

Next, a powerhouse Ping-Pong match.

And the final event,
a climatical gymnastics contest.

As the racers are lining up,
let's recap the first-half scores.

The Yogi Yahooeys lead with 60 points.

[CHEERING]

And here's the lineup
of those daredevil racers.

ANNOUNCER:
For the Scooby Doobies, it's Shaggy...

...and the team captain himself,
Scooby-Doo, wearing roller skates.

Next, it's Boo Boo and the captain
of the Yahooeys, Yogi Bear.

And cheating...
Uh, racing for the Really Rottens...

...are Dinky and Dirty Dalton.

[CHUCKLING]

[CROWD BOOING]

Now, pay attention, savages.
This is the cockamamie race route...

...through downtown Hong Kong.

It's anybody's race, as I see it.

ANNOUNCER: The Dirty Daltons
are tearing up the streets.

Now Yogi is making up for lost time
with a dazzling display of footwork.

A little further, Scooby,
then it's downhill all the way.

Get off of me, Scoob.
We can't see where we're going.

ANNOUNCER: The Scooby Doobies
are moving up. Uh, make that down.

SCOOBY: Aah!
SHAGG Y: Help!

ANNOUNCER: But the Rottens are coming
into the home stretch, confident of winning.

No problem. Yawn.

ANNOUNCER: But little do they know
that Yogi is getting ready to pass them.

Oh, yeah? I heard that.

Throw it into no-passing, Dirty.

You've got it, Dink.

Especially on this oily streets.

Hey, Yogi.

Yeah, Boo Boo?

Watch out for that oil slick.

[BOTH YELL]

ANNOUNCER: Yogi is using
the old spin-a-roo technique.

Scooby-Doo is skating
at an incredible speed.

What an inspired athlete.

The Rottens are holding their lead.
Thanks to their wide-track wheels...

...the snakes.

ANNOUNCER:
Here comes Yogi in a blur of speed.

Followed by Scooby
who just passed half of the Rottens.

Drat.

ANNOUNCER: But... Oh, no. The other half
just crossed the finish line. The winner.

Now it's Yogi and Scooby
racing, neck and neck, for second place.

Scooby has that look of grim determination
as he noses ahead.

But it's too close to tell
who crossed first.

Who cares?

I won the race.

So hold it, already.

I demand an instant replay.

ANNOUNCER: Here's
the frame-by-frame replay at the finish.

Dinky has crossed the finish line,
but without his rickshaw.

You can't win without a rickshaw,
big fellow.

ANNOUNCER:
That's correct, Mildew.

Therefore,
the Really Rottens are disqualified.

Brak.

ANNOUNCER: Now for second place,
our freeze-frame camera...

...shows Scooby-Doo
nosing over the line...

...while Yogi Bear brings up the rear
in reverse.

Brak.

And there you have it, folks.

And the winners are the Scooby Doobies.

Twenty-five big ones for first place.

A big 80 score, even.

This will be a bonus event.

The winner is gonna get 30 points
per match...

...and keep on playing until he loses.

A steel Ping-Pong paddle?

Hm. I wonder why.

You'll find out why.

[CHUCKLING]

ANNOUNCER:
And there goes the serve.

A good return, Blue Falcon.

But now, Orful is going into
a wingding of a windmill swing.

But the Falcon, in a blur of blue,
easily returns.

It looks like Orful has met his match.

The first point scored
will decide the winner.

Now, darling.

This is it, Orful, make your play. What?

Wait, I don't have a...

ANNOUNCER:
Point for the Rottens.

And that brings their score up to 75.

Tied with the Yogis
and just behind the Scooby Doobies.

[CHEERING]

Losing must be devastating
to your superhero image, Blue Falcon.

True, Mildew, but no matter.
Justice will yet prevail.

So far, it's been a close contest.

But the last event
is gonna decide today's winners.

Losers, even.

ANNOUNCER: Still in the Hong Kong
gymnasium, the last event is about to begin.

A true test of an athlete's prowess:
Gymnastics.

Each contestant
will be scored on poise and grace.

A first-class performer gets 25.

A second-class showing gets 15
and third gets 10.

So keep your eyes on the running score.

ANNOUNCER: First up is Daisy Mayhem
for the Really Rottens.

[REALLY ROTTENS CHEERING
AND CROWD BOOING]

[SOOEY SQUEALING]

Enough, Sooey Pig, you're not in this.

Yow. Watch out, Sooey.

ANNOUNCER: Ten, 50, 100 spins and still
spinning, but that's good for only 10 points.

[BOOING AND
MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]

ANNOUNCER: And for the Yogis,
here comes Quick Draw on the run.

Shucks, I don't horse around.

ANNOUNCER: It's a one-hand leap onto the
horse, followed by a tailspin and what now?

Watch this.

Giddyup, horse.

Whoa.

ANNOUNCER: Amazing. I've never seen
broncbusting on a gymnasium horse.

Me either. Yow!

ANNOUNCER:
Oh, too bad.

The Yogis' Quick Draw
is awarded only 10 points.

Fiddle-dee-dee.

I don't believe it.

Thrown by a gym horse.

I suspect foul play.

What else? That rigged remote-controlled
horse is one of my dirtiest tricks.

[SNICKERING]

ANNOUNCER: Leading off for the Scoobys
is the dynamic Dynomutt.

You gotta help me, B.F., old pal.
We're a team.

No, Dog Wonder. You're on your own
this time, but you can do it.

Oh, I can? Do what?

I suggest you try a pushup.

D YNOMUTT:
Okay, Blue Falcon.

One pushup coming up, up, and...

Did I push up high enough?

Oh, good grief.

ANNOUNCER:
Dynomutt only pushed one up.

That's good for 10 points.

Scooby-Dooby-Doo.

ANNOUNCER:
For the Rottens' second contestant...

...it's the Great Fondue.

In person.

I shall perform invisible.

Alaka-zooey and bye-bye, Fonduey.

Now, please notice my expertise
on the parallel bars.

Am I not the greatest?

And I've never seen anything like this.
But then, I don't even see this.

FONDUE:
I did it. Ta-da!

ANNOUNCER: I guess we'll have to
take his word for it, folks.

Amazing, no?

Amazing, no.

Sneaky, yes.

ANNOUNCER: Giving Great Fondue
the benefit of the doubt...

...he is also given 25 points.

The Yogi Yahooeys are trying to figure out
how they can possibly catch up.

ANNOUNCER: Stepping up for
the Yogi Yahooeys is Grape Ape...

...who will perform his specialty:
Weightlifting.

Grape Ape.

ANNOUNCER:
Not the whole gym building.

Yup. Grape Ape.

ANNOUNCER:
And he did it.

[CHEERING]

ANNOUNCER:
I'm afraid that's a 25-pointer for sure.

Now the Yogis are tied for the lead.

The Teen Angels are coaching
the next Scooby Doobie contestant...

...Captain Caveman.

And it looks like he's ready.

And there he goes
into an incredible aerial whirlidoo...

...then over to the chinning bar
for a nose-up.

Yes, and look at him go.

One hundred nose-ups in one second.

Earning a full 25 points
for the Scooby Doobies.

TAFFY: Yay. Yay.
BRENDA: That's good.

ANNOUNCER:
After the Ping-Pong match...

...the Yogis and the Rottens
were tied with 75 points...

...and the Scoobys led with 80.

However, the gymnastics event
earn the Rottens 35 points...

...tying them with the Yogis at 110,
behind the Scoobys at 115.

But those scores aren't final.
Even close, even.

Not until we see the results
of our hidden anti-cheating cameras.

ANNOUNCER:
The anti-cheat film is ready to roll.

And remember,
each cheat is worth 20 penalty points.

The first cheat was perpetrated by Orful,
for holding eight paddles instead of one.

Blue Falcon was given a steel paddle, to
be magnetized out of his hand by Creeply.

The horse that threw Quick Draw was
rigged and remote-controlled by the Rottens.

Finally, during the gymnastics contest...

...the Great Fondue was not invisible.
He only pretended he was performing...

...and threw his voice.
A sheer deception.

Now let's see how this adds up
or down or sideways, even.

ANNOUNCER: The Rottens and Yogis were
tied at 110 with the Scoobys ahead at 115.

However, deducting 80 penalty points
drops the Rottens down to 30.

Plus, a well-deserved bonus penalty
of 30 points...

...for an all-time cheating record...

...leaves them with... Heh-heh-heh.

- zilch.

[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]

Brak.

ANNOUNCER:
The Yogi Yahooeys still have 110.

The Scooby Doobies, at 115 points,
makes them the big winners.

It's been just peachy, sports fans.

But it's bye-bye for now.

ANNOUNCER: Who will be the next champs
when the three teams meet again...

...for the coveted gold-medal awards?

Can the Scoobys do it again?

Watch the next exciting,
fun-filled sports spectacular...

...with new events and new locations...

...as our athletes compete
for the All Star Laff-A-Lympics honors.

[ENGLISH SDH]