Scooby's Laff-A Lympics (1977–1979): Season 1, Episode 3 - Florida and China - full transcript

Scooby and characters meet up in Florida and china for the event.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
It's Scooby's All Star Laff-A-Lympics.

Starring Scooby-Doo and the gang...


...Blue Falcon and his mechanical misfit,
Dynomutt, Dog Wonder...

That's me. Ha-ha-ha.

...and introducing the world's
first superhero, Captain Caveman...

...and his mystery-solving companions,
the Teen Angels.

Captain Caveman!

And it's round-the-world
triple-team competition...

...with the Scooby Doobies...

...Yogi Yahooeys and Really Rottens.


Forty-five stars in the Laff-A-Lympics.

Yes, it's
Scooby's All Star Laff-A-Lympics.


ANNOUNCER: Welcome again, folks,
to the All Star Laff-A-Lympics.

This week's promises to be a sizzler.

For the first contests...

...we take you to the sun-scorched sands
of the Sahara desert.

I'd rather dig a cool cave
in Jellystone Park.


Then we'll whisk off to bonny Scotland...

...for the cataclysmic climax
of the day's games...

...and some of them are a real monster.



Now, back to the Sahara for the first event:
The ups-and-downs dune buggy race...

...which will again feature champions
from the Yogi Yahooeys...

...the Scooby Doobies,
and the Really Rottens.

Salutations, sports buffs,
it's me, Snagglepuss.

And sizzling sand dabs,
it's Speed Buggy and Tinker...

...representing the Scooby Doobies.

Do you two have a few words
about the race?

Golly, this should be a real humdinger...

...because Speedy's hot to go,
right, Speedy?


Next up for the Yogi Yahooeys,
it's team captain Yogi Bear.

In person.

Jellystone Park's contribution
to the racer's hall of fame.

Fantabulous, Yogi.
What's the horsepower?

Until I figure out how to operate
this loony dune-y buggy...'s one bearpower, eh, Boo Boo?


That's right, Yogi.

And I surely hope you figure it out fast.

And now, for the Really Rottens,
it's Mrs. Creeply and Mumbly.

Or maybe it's an earthquake?

Relax, darling...'s only our jet-powered,
supercharged, sand-scooping jet buggy.

Jet buggy? How really rotten.

You flatterer. What a darling announcer.

The cars are lined up
at the starting position.

And they're off.

The Yogis got off to a slow start, folks,
but now look at them go.

They're really taking off...

[YOGI & BOO BOO YELLING] overtake the Scoobys in a spectacular,
gravity-defying dune jump.

- Better hit the brakes, Yogi.
- Why, Boo Boo?

We're gonna end up in that oasis.

That's no oasis, Boo Boo.

That's a mirage if I ever saw one.

You said it was a mirage
if you ever saw one, Yogi.

That is true, Boo Boo.
But can I help it if I never saw one?


Folks, once again our spirited Speedy
has taken the lead...

...leaving the Yogi Team
in a soggy second spot.

Speed Buggy is digging in and is attempting
to climb Killer Diller Dune...

...while the water-soaked Yogi
is out of the drink and back on the track.

Golly, Speedy, we made it.

Now it's downhill all the way.


When he hits our flexo-steel net...'ll be uphill backwards all the way.
Right, Creeply?

That's right, Dread Baron.

Okay, let's roll, Speedy.

And down they go.

Oh, no. Who put the flexo net
in front of the marker flag?

Quick, Speedy,
make like a pancake, pronto.

Will you look at that, folks.

The Scoobys flat-out ducked
under the net.

Now it's a fast U-turn around the marker,
then full-bore off to the finish line...

...a lucky maneuver.

But will Yogi and Boo Boo be so lucky?

No, they've hit the net
and it's a slight setback.

A tree-mendous maneuver by Yogi.

A flash. Here at the finish line,
I see the Rottens haven't even started...

...which means they've finished already.

Aw, p-shaw.

We'll take a shortcut.
Now, here's the route, Mumbly.



Hold it, folks, the Rottens are finally off...

...but they'll never catch
the Yogis and Scoobys.

What's this? Goodness, it can't be.

They wouldn't. They did.

And it's the Really Rottens
first to cross the finish line...

...followed by a cloud of dust.

An amazing performance.


At this point,
our electronic eye at the finish line...

...shows it's the Rottens first
with 25 points.

Whoa, hold it. Cease and desist.

The results are challenged.

For that, we'll look at our x-ray
instant replay of the Rottens.

Inside that cloud of smoke...

...we discover the Rottens zipped
backwards through the finish line...

...a definite violation.

And as Yogi and Scooby approached...

...the Rottens covered them
in a confusing smoke screen.

Now we see the Yogis are really first
and the Scoobys are in second place.

The Rottens get third
for underhanded tactics and over-smogging.

The corrected scores show
the Yogi Yahooeys lead with 25...

...the Scooby Doobies second at 15...

...while the Really Rottens
bottomed out at 10.


So let's take leave of the boos and hisses
for the start of our second event...

...a fascinating first in modern sports,
sports fans.

It's the ancient but awesome...

..."fill up the empty oasis well" contest
in the shortest time.

And here's the starting team
for the Yogi Yahooeys.

It's Quick Draw on the draw.

Wally Gator, Huck Hound
and Doggie Daddy.


For the Scooby Doobies...'s the glamorous and dynamic
Teen Angels and Babu.


The bucket brigade for the Really Rottens
is the Great Fondue...

...Brak the rabbit, Dirty Dalton
and Creeply Jr.


And there goes the starting bell.

And look at Quick Draw draw that water.

What remarkable teamwork,
coordination and speed.

Bucket after bucket going into that oasis.

But, oddly enough,
bucket after bucket's going out just as fast.

Fantastic. They're using
their fabulous four-in-one play.

Now the oasis is rapidly filling with water...
Whoops... and buckets.

Yes, the Yogi team is racing the clock
as they reach the half-full mark.

It's almost faster than the eye can follow
as those buckets keep coming.

The Yogi team just passed
the three-quarter mark.

And I see the Rotten team captain
is personally checking the water level.


Now the Scooby Doobies are up with Babu.
That is, his magic is pumping the pump...

...with the Teen Angels forming
the bucket brigade.

What stupendous style,
what flawless form... a giant funnel. What ingenuity.

Why, they can't miss.

Okay, Angels, let's really fly.

Now, utilizing the aerial H2O
transfer play...

...the Scooby team has speeded up
so much...

...that the water gauge shows
they've just passed the half-full mark.


Wait, folks. All of a sudden, the oasis
is draining faster than it's being filled.

What can this mean?
Where is that pipe going?

Oh, it's really nothing, just my little old
1000-gallons-a-minute water pump.

What'll we do, Babu?

Our fair play's no match against
the Rottens' rotten play.

No problem, Dee Dee.
It's as simple as yapple dapple.

Egads, it can't be.

Not a rainstorm in the Sahara?

Especially not with 100-gallon raindrops.


A perfectly rotten scheme washed up.

It's absolutely incredible, folks...

...but the rainstorm is coming down
by the bucketful...

...and into the oasis well.

In fact, it's almost filled.

Babu, you did it again.

Aw, gee. Oh, come on, girls.

And that's a record oasis fill
at 30 seconds...

...and a tough act for the Rottens to top.


And there's the starting bell.
Rottens, man your buckets.

Forget the buckets.

I, the Great Fondue, will fill the oasis well
with a flip of the wrist.


Please to observe.

Yabba-dabba and zippety-zaysis.

Please to fill up the well of the dry oasis.

You dumb yahoo, you're supposed to fill
the oasis well up with water...

...not with us Rottens.


Pardon. A slight slip of the lip.

I guess I used too much "zippity"
and not enough "dabba."

But watch this:

Dabba-dabba-dabba and a boopity-boo.

And the Really Rottens have just put
their first single drop of water...

...into the oasis well
for a really rotten time...

...of 13 hours, 13 minutes
and 13 seconds.


Quiet, losers.

Here are the final scores.

The Scoobys' 25 points for first... ties them with Yogis
at 40 apiece...

...with the Rottens at 20.

Oh, these thrills have left me all atwitter.

You haven't seen anything yet, Mildew.

In the second half, later,
we'll take you to scintillating Scotland...

[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT]... for a wee bit
of heart-thumping excitement...

...a big event, even.

Dadgum, goody good.
We'll tromp them good there.

Right. We'll have a whole new bag
of catastrophic tricks... make sure us Rottens win.

Lt'll be exciting and pulse-pounding.

So don't you dare put a paw on that dial,
and stay tuned in for...

...the final, hair-raising half
of the Laff-A-Lympics.

Now back to the second half
of the All Star Laff-A-Lympics... bonny Scotland...

...where our first contest
will be photographing the...


...Loch Ness monster.

With pure, unadulterated pleasure.

But first, a recap of the first half.
Or a retread, even.

The Yogis and the Scoobys
are tied at 40...

...while the Rottens are in the rear
with 20.


Tut-tut, Mumbly.
I can't stand spoilsports.

Now let's meet our teams
of silly savages.

For the Yogis,
it's Wally Gator and Snooper.

If it makes tracks, I'll track it.

Shaggy and Scooby-Doo will search out
the monster for the Scooby Doobies.

Monster? Help!

Yikes! Likewise. Don't say that word.

And it's the curvaceous but bodacious
Daisy Mayhem...

...and Sooey Pig for the Rottens.

Shucks, we're not afeard of monsters.

Some of our best friends
are them critters.


This contest will be judged
on style, "originalality"...

...and composition
of the winning photograph.

And because this is a biggie event...

...the winner will receive
a 50-point bonus.

First out looking for the Loch Ness monster
is the Scooby team.

you're supposed to be looking.

I am.

Peekaboo, Scooby-Doo.

Next up are the Yogis.

Since the monster and I
are both water folks, you know...

...maybe we're relatives.

We'll find it. I'm very good at tailing.

Meanwhile, the ever-rotten Rottens
don't seem to be looking at all.

Shucks, that's all he knows, right, Sooey?


That's right, Daisy. After all...

...nine eyes are better than three,
I always say.

How about you, Mumbly?


Drat, Daisy, what did we run into?



Now back to our Scooby search team... they valiantly traverse
the lochs of Loch Ness.

SHAGG Y: Abandon boat!
- Let's go!

Wow, talk about luck.
We landed on something.

Uh-oh. Something with two big nostrils.


And it growls.


Now, pardon us, lochy baby,
but we gotta shoot and split.

Back to Snagglepuss here at 50 fathoms
and getting to the bottom of things, folks.

It looks like Wally Gator and Snooper
have picked up the monster's tracks.

I just hope it doesn't pick up ours.

Oh, look, a tunnel.

Shall we enter?

SNOOPER: Yeah. This might be
the monster's hideout.

WALLY: We'll never find the monster
in here. Heh-heh. It's too dark.

SNOOPER: Patience, Wally.
I got a hunch that we're close.

Look, two lights ahead.

Let's investigate.

And keep your eyes open.
It might be watching us.


Shh. It might hear us too.

Oh, my goodness.

It's him, the monster.

Aha. My hunch was right. Say "cheese."

You mean "cheese it." We're scramming.

Got it.

What daring.

I'll take it here, Snag.

On the surface of lovely Loch Ness...

...where I just bumped into
Daisy Mayhem.


Pardon me, Daisy,
but what's that awful noise?

This here's a hillbilly love song.
Sort of a moose mating-call.

Pardon me again, Miss Daisy...

...but not being a moose,
I didn't recognize it right off.

Well, I'm just sure that
that little old monster will love it.

Just give a listen.



It worked.
My mating-moose call did the trick.

Hi there, long, green and ugly.

Let's see those pearlies.

Oh, real nice.

This ought to get you the centerfold
of Monsters Monthly.

Sooey, we better skedaddle.

The contest is over, folks.

Now, the winning photographs,
they're just in.

Shaggy and Scooby's photo of Scooby?

The Yogis with a picture of... Of... Uh...


But not the monster.

- Hey, you.
- I shot that in Hawaii last month...

...and I must have forgot
to change the film.

And the Rottens are the winners
with a real beaut of the Loch Ness monster.


Mm. Looks like the big silly goose
has a crush on you, Daisy.

Yeah, I know.

But how do I tell a critter this big
that he's not my type?

The Rottens' win earns them 25 points
plus the 50-point bonus...

...which puts them in the lead at 95.

The Scoobys and Yogis earn no points.

And now for that fast-paced,
action packed, climactical final event.

It's the three-legged kilt race.

Ready to race, it's Mumbly
and Orful Octopus for the Rottens...

...Babu and Scooby Dum
for the Scooby Doobies...

...and racing for the Yogis
is Grape Ape and Yakky Doodle.

Now, that's a combination.

One thing different
from a regular footrace, you'll notice... that each two racers has one leg
each tied to another...

...thus, the three-legged race.

Or in the Rottens' case,
it's a nine-legged race.


That's the starting bagpipe blast to go.

I wanna visit an ear doctor, even.

The Yogis step off for first.

Go, boy. I'll hang on.

The Scoobys are getting ready to run.


And there goes Scooby Dum,
off with Babu's shoe.

Come back with my shoe, Scooby Dum.

I'm too tenderfooted
to run barefooted.

The Rottens are running in coordination...

...right up onto
a racecar-pushed treadmill.

What is this?

So what? They're still running.


The rule book says
the racers have to run.

Meanwhile, back at the starting line...


...Babu magically put himself
in his shoe...

...but he didn't intend it to be
at the starting line.

Boy, is he dum-dum-dum-dumb.

Grape Ape and Yakky Doodle
are making great strides.

Grape Ape, Grape Ape.



We got a good one coming up.

All set, boys?

Yeah, let's get to cheating
instead of chawing.

First, one phony finish line coming up.

Then one phony referee coming up.
All set, Dink?

Fink, even.


Now, when that purple monkey crosses
this phony finish line...

...he'll be finished in this race.


Got you, Dink.

Babu is about to use more magic
on himself and Scooby Dum.


Heavens to sassafras,
60-foot polka-dotted balloons.

What is this, a sports event
or the Thanksgiving parade?

The Scooby Doobies have bounced back
into the race at a mile a bounce.

The Rottens,
on their racer-pushed treadmill...

...are gaining on the Scooby team
as they race towards the finish line.

Oh, no.

Grape Ape, Grape Ape.

There must be some mistake.
That's not the real finish line.

Hi, Snagglepuss here
at this here finish, partners.

As the oversized purple chimp
steps over the...

Winner. Great going, Grape Ape.

Grape Ape, Grape Ape.

There's something funny here.

Yahoo! We fooled them.

I was right. That's a rotten trick.

Grape Ape, come back.

We won't need this.

- Or this.
- Yep.

Our dirty doings did it.

DIRTY: Yeah, nothing will stop you
from winning now, Dread Baron.

Looks that way.

Okay, let's go.

Approaching the real finish line,
it's the Scoobys in first place.

That's because I did
such a good yapple dapple.

Now we're back to normal size,
Scooby Dum.

Let's run.


The Scooby team is making a desperate run
to the finish line...

...but they are no match against
the Rottens' supercharged skullduggery.

Now, Grape Ape is making up for lost time,
but is he too late?

And here come the winners.

In first place, it's the Really Rottens...

...closely followed by the Yogis
and the Scoobys.

And it's a tie for second place.

It's all over now, folks.

And the winner is:

Don't say it, Mildew.

Only an instant replay can say for sure.

Good idea, Snag.

Okay, roll the tape backward
and activate the cheat detector.

Coming up, Mildew.

Our cheat detector shows
the first cheat occurred...

...when the Rottens used
that illegal racecar-pushed treadmill.

The second cheat, also by the Rottens...

...was the rules book used
by the Dread Baron...

...because it was written by Rottens
so Rottens could cheat.

The third Rotten cheat
was when the dirty Daltons...

...disguised themselves
as a sports official... trick Grape Ape temporarily
out of the race.



Now a quick rundown
on the score points.

The Yogis' first-place tie
earns them 25 points... five consolation points
for being cheated...

...which totals 30.

The Scoobys' first-place tie with the Yogis
earns them 25 points.

And deducting 75 penalty points
from the Rottens... us the final score for the day.


The Yogi Yahooeys win,
the Scoobys second...

...with the Rottens losing.

Well, that's a wrap for this week, Snag.

So bye-bye, sportspersons.

Look for more exciting Laff-A-Lympics
action on our next show.

Keep watching, sports fan.