Scooby's Laff-A Lympics (1977–1979): Season 1, Episode 2 - Acapulco and England - full transcript

First time featuring award ceremony with Gold, Silver and Bronze Medals are given to the contestants, the three teams compete in Cliff Diving, Underwater Swimming, Speedboat Racing in Acapulco; and Big Ben Clock Tower Climbing, Fo...

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ANNOUNCER:
It's Scooby's All Star Laff-A-Lympics.

Starring Scooby-Doo and the gang...

Scooby-Doo.

...Blue Falcon and his mechanical misfit,
Dynomutt, Dog Wonder...

That's me. Ha-ha-ha.

...and introducing the world's
first superhero, Captain Caveman...

...and his mystery-solving companions,
the Teen Angels.

Captain Caveman!

And it's round-the-world
triple-team competition...

...with the Scooby Doobies...

...Yogi Yahooeys and Really Rottens.



[SNICKERS]

Forty-five stars in the Laff-A-Lympics.

Yes, it's
Scooby's All Star Laff-A-Lympics.

Yeah.

ANNOUNCER: Welcome once again
to the Laff-A-Lympics.

Today, we'll take you to glorious Acapulco
for our first series of events...

...then around the world
to jolly old England...

...for some excitingly different contests
where our three teams...

...the Scooby Doobies, the Yogi Yahooeys
and the Really Rottens...

...will race to the top of Big Ben
to conclude today's matches.

So now let's switch to Snagglepuss,
our on-the-scene reporter...

...high atop the Acapulco cliffs
for the start of our first event.

Senor Snagglepuss here.
To start our first event...

...cliff diving. From these high rocks...



...our three terrified...
I mean, brave competitors...

...will jump 400 feet
to a shallow pool of water.

Our judges will score them on style.

Down in the gorge is Mildew Wolf.

Come in, Mildew.

Come in, nothing.

The object is to land in the water
which comes in and out.

If a diver jumps in too soon,
he'll land right here...

...flatter than a tortilla.

The idea is to time the waves
as they come in...

Oh, forget it.

[COUGHS]

Take it away, Snag.

I got it.

Suffering sombreros,
it's none other than the team captain...

...ready for his first dive...

...the incomparable Yogi Bear.

[MUMBLY SNICKERING]

SNAGGLEPUSS:
Ladies and gentlemen...

...an awed hush, silence, even,
comes over the crowd...

...as Yogi goes through the pre-dive ritual
of a true champion.

Help!

Exit, stage up,
Yogi is doing a triple somersault.

Degree of difficulty: 12.7.

Heavens to Murgatroyd...

...he's doing a double-triple,
a triple-triple yet.

A quintuple-triple spin.

Degree of difficulty: 47,892.6, even.

This has never been done before.

YOGl:
Hey!

Uh-oh.
Unfortunately, Yogi missed the gorge.

He gets no points for his team...

...and it looks like he owes somebody
for a boat.

Gee, this tends to dampen one's spirit.

ANNOUNCER: It's a bad break for the Yogis
and a unanimous zero from the judges.

And now jumping for the Rotten team
are the Dalton brothers...

...who will attempt a triple-team tandem.

DINKY:
Hmm.

DIRTY:
Come on, boys, let's jump.

You first, Dink.

Lots of luck, Rottens.

Now, Dink, now!

ANNOUNCER:
You've got to hand it to the Daltons.

They brought their own water with them.

Or did they?

Dinky Dalton splashed all the water
out of there.

Sometimes I wonder, Dink,
if you're with us or against us.

There's Dynomutt getting ready to jump
for the Scooby Doobies.

Get out there, Dog Wonder.

CROWD:
Yeah! Come on!

Dynomutt thanks you.
Dog Wonder thanks you.

Me, myself and I thank you.
The Dog Wonder Association thanks you.

- L...
- Will you knock off the thank-yous?

Go, Dog Wonder!

Go!

What form, what grace.
What elegance, even.

I'll say. He barely got his feet wet.

WOMAN:
Go! Yeah!

ANNOUNCER:
Wait. Apparently, there's been a protest.

Indubitably, a protest indeed.
Illegal extension of the legs.

Let's take another look at that
once again, even...

...from our hidden, surreptitious camera.

ANNOUNCER: A definite extension, all right.
So let's get back to the judges.

[JUDGES MURMURING]

SNAGGLEPUSS:
How about that?

It's a Dog Wonder-style jump
and perfectly legal.

ANNOUNCER: The super Scoobys get 25
for their first-place performance.

Really Rottens take second place
and get 15 points...

...and the Yogi Yahooeys finish third
and received 10 points.

CROWD: Aw.
MAN: I can't believe any of that.

[CROWD CHEERS]

ANNOUNCER:
Now we'll switch to another location.

We bring you the underwater relay race
already in progress.

It's the last lap.

[CROWD CHEERING]

As they approach the finish line...

...Mumbly of the Rottens
and the Scoobys' Blue Falcon...

...are neck and neck...

[SNICKERING]

...while the Yogi Yahooeys' Doggie Daddy
is dog paddling far back.

It's going to be close.

It's Mumbly and Blue Falcon.

It's the Blue Falcon and Mumbly.

Wait a minute, hold it. A school of fish
are approaching the course.

This could prove tricky.

The traffic controller is stopping the school
right in front of Blue Falcon's lane.

[REALLY ROTTENS CHEERING]

ANNOUNCER:
The Rottens win!

I know justice will triumph over evil
in the end.

I protest! I protest! I must protest!

Orful Octopus used illegal use
of the hands.

A protest has been made.

We'll see it on the isolated camera.

ANNOUNCER:
And here's your official race replay.

SNAGGLEPUSS:
And it's a subterfuge. It's a double foul.

Illegal use of hands
and towing with a piano wire.

They must take rotten lessons.

Let's get a ruling from our guest referee.

Hm. Foul play. Rottens in third.

ANNOUNCER: So it's Scoobys, 25,
Yogis, 15, Rottens, 10.

And there you have it.

The Scoobys are in first place
with 50 points.

Now down to the marina
where Snag is standing by...

...for the start of the speedboat race.

Snagglepuss here.

As the boats are in the gate,
the starting bell is imminent, even.

Wally Gator, what do you think
about your chances of winning the race?

Nothing to it, you see.

We alligators are right at home
with the water, you know?

How about you, Jinksie?

Well, I like, can't lose, right? I mean,
heh, heh, I'm using mice power, you know?

DAISY:
Give me that microphone!

It ain't gonna be no contest.
Us Rottens are gonna...

ANNOUNCER:
The boats are in the starting lineup.

They will race this tortuous course
to the finish line...

...and they're off.

Come on. Come on, you guys.

Pull, Pixie.

I am.

I hate mices to pieces!

ANNOUNCER: The Rottens and the Scoobys
are off to a quick lead...

...while the Yogi boat
is still trying to get started.

And there she goes.

The Yogi boat
seems to be going nowhere.

The Scoobys are ahead.

The Rottens are leaning on their horn
trying to catch them.

Move that hay burner out of the way!

[SQUEALING]

ANNOUNCER:
With Wally at the rudder...

...the Yogis are zigging and zagging
to catch up.

I don't mind the zigging.

Yeah, it's the zagging I can't stand.

ANNOUNCER:
The Rottens are trying to pass...

...but the Scoobys are clinging desperately
to the lead.

That's what you think. Abracadabra.

[FONDUE GRO ANING]

Yee-haw!

Goodness to gracious, it's an outboard.
It's an inboard.

Whatever it is, it's not aboveboard.

ANNOUNCER: Hold everything.
The Yogis have come to a stop.

All right, you guys.
Let's get the mice power going.

- I'd like to give him some mice power.
- Yeah. Like, pow!

Paddle, mices, paddle.

ANNOUNCER:
And here come the Scoobys.

They're making their first move
for first place.

Aha. Wrong again.

Where there's Fondue,
there's smoke for Scooby-Doo.

How about that?

A smokescreen. Hold on.

[COUGHING]

I protest!

L...

What was that you were saying,
Huckleberry? Ha-ha-ha.

SCOOBY:
Holy smoke!

FONDUE: Goodbye.
ORFUL: Goodbye.

TINKER:
Look! Golly!

We're headed right for that cruise ship.

ANNOUNCER: As they pass the outer buoys
heading for home...

...it appears the Rottens
have an insurmountable lead.

But whatever happened to the Yogi boat?

Lt, uh... It can't be.

Don't look now,
but we are coming to a tunnel.

BOTH:
Yike!

- Oh, what a way to go.
- Yeah, a dinner for a whale.

Who's got the salt and pepper?

Relax, fellows. Hee-hee-hee.

I got the pepper,
and the whale's gonna get it. Hee-hee.

ANNOUNCER: The two other teams race on.
The Rottens have the lead...

...but the Scoobys are coming on strong.

Let's just hope, you know,
that the pepper does it.

[GRO ANING]

[SNEEZES]

ANNOUNCER: At the finish, it's the Rot...
It's the Yogis first...

...the Rottens second
and the Scoobys third.

[CHEERING]

It's still any man's game.

The Scoobys are in first with 60.

An unbelievable finish by the Yogis.

And as we say aloha to sunny Acapulco,
stay tuned for more Laff-A-Lympics...

...coming up later from jolly old England.

ANNOUNCER: Welcome, sports fans,
to the Laff-A-Lympics...

...from historic old England.

As we left Acapulco,
the Scoobys were first with 60...

...the Yogis were second with 50
and the Really Rottens were third with 40.

Now to Snagglepuss
at the start of the first event.

A real first...

...a race to the top of Big Ben's tower.

Pip, pip, even.
Snagglepuss here at the base of Big Ben.

While our three teams are readying
for the race to the top...

...let's have us a word...

...with one of the distinguished
team captains...

...the newly knighted Sir Yogi Bear.
How are you, Sir Yogi?

Much royaler than the average bear.
Heh, heh, hey.

And here is Quick Draw McGraw
of the Yogis, even.

Quick Draw,
this is quite an elaborate device.

But will it get you to the top of Big Ben?

If I don't get to the top first,
I can always go into plumbing...

...or my name ain't Quick Draw McGraw.

Mildew Wolf here
with the Rottens' competitor, Dinky Dalton.

Come on, big fella, you don't think I believe
you're gonna climb this pole...

...all the way to the top?

If there's a rotten way to do it,
they'll find it, believe me.

ANNOUNCER: The teams are ready
as we await the starting bell.

Speaking for all superheroes, we're ready.

Speaking for super chickens,
heh-heh-heh, I quit.

ANNOUNCER: They're off, with
the Blue Falcon making the first move.

SHAGG Y:
Yipe! Yikes!

Uh-oh.

Phew.

Scooby-Doo! Where are you?

Uh... Will I do?

SHAGG Y:
Anybody!

Time out! Call off the game!

[SHAGG Y WHIMPERING]

ANNOUNCER:
Meanwhile, the Yogi team is starting.

I really don't know how this thing works.

But here goes
Quick Draw "Birdman" McGraw.

Let her rip, Boo Boo.

There's no way this thing's gonna work.

ANNOUNCER: Quick Draw and Shaggy
are both on the face of the clock.

Let's see how the Rottens'
Dinky Dalton is doing.

[DINKY GRUNTING]

This ain't as easy as it looks.

Brak.

ANNOUNCER: Shaggy and Quick Draw
are climbing neck and neck...

...and the crowd is going wild.

Let's switch live to Snagglepuss
for an on-the-scene interview.

Shaggy, can you reveal the secret
of your fast ascent?

Would you like to know the secret
of my fast descent?

Indeed I would. I would indeed.

SHAGG Y:
Your helicopter blade is cutting my rope!

A thousand pardons.
Two thousands, if you will.

Exit, stage up.

ANNOUNCER:
Dinky Dalton is still slipping behind.

Somehow I feel
like I ain't making much progress.

ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile, Shaggy and
Quick Draw are approaching the top.

It's going to be close.

Dinky Dalton seems to be out of it.

Now, that's enough.

- I'm substituting my little brothers.
- Big deal.

Who needs it?

ANNOUNCER: Look at this.
It's the Rottens coming from no place...

...and zooming into first place.

What a display of teamwork.

The Rottens take the event
with the Yogis coming in second...

...and the Scoobys finishing third.

As we go into our final events,
the Scoobys lead with 70.

But now to the English countryside
for the fox hunt.

Snagglepuss here for the fox hunt.

[HUMMING]

The team that runs the fox up the tree first
is the winner.

ANNOUNCER: The contestants are raring
to go as Mildew prepares to release the fox.

Hokey Wolf is team captain
for the Yogis...

...Captain Caveman for the Scoobys
and Daisy Mayhem for the Rottens.

And they're off.

Yahoo!

Yahoo!

ANNOUNCER: As the hunt continued,
the fox seemed to have everybody outfoxed.

What's this? The fox
is now chasing the hunters up a tree.

[FO X BARKING]

Heavens to treetops.

Don't look at me,
I'm only the communicator.

We've been outfoxed.

Scat! Get home! Get, you hear?

[BARKING AND GROWLING]

Give me that, Magic Rabbit.

Fondue never gives up.

Fazoom, fazam.

Fox, scram.

[BARKING]

ANNOUNCER:
With this unexpected development...

...the fox hunters
eventually declare it a draw.

Each team was awarded 15 points...

...except for the fox
who was given 25 points.

But now let's jump to the polo field...

...where the polo match
is about to get underway...

...on skateboard, that is.

SNAGGLEPUSS:
Here comes the Honorable Sir Yogi Bear.

He seems to have some trouble
controlling his trusty skateboard.

And away we go!

Royalty stops for no one, you know.

ANNOUNCER: And here are the Scoobys
out on the field.

Captain Caveman!

And finally, here come the Rottens.

[CROWD BOOING AND HISSING]

ANNOUNCER: And the teams are lined up
for the start of the play.

And play begins.

Magic Rabbit is moving up on the ball.
He's driving all alone.

He scores!

And the magic rabbit puts the Rottens
on the board in the polo match.

Tinker's driving down the field.
He shoots.

He... No goal.

He shoots again.

No goal again. What's going on?

BLUE FALCON:
No, Dog Wonder. Fetch is another game.

No?

Well, gosh.
How is a Wonder Dog to know that?

ANNOUNCER:
Now, here's the Yogis' team captain.

A magnificent display of talent
as Sir Yogi scored.

A beautiful move.

Let's take a look at that again
on instant replay.

MILDEW:
Aha.

That's what I call "stick-to-it-ness."

That's not fair, Yogi.

I'll say not. That is a sticky wicket
if I ever saw one.

The Yogis and the Rottens,
each have one goal.

But the Scoobys have yet to score.

Galloping gorillas.

It looks like Quick Draw
is having a little trouble maneuvering.

Come on, partner, giddyup.

Grape Ape. Grape Ape.

Grape Ape. Grape Ape.

Hold on a minute there.
I'm getting a might dizzy.

Grape Ape.

ANNOUNCER:
What a shot by the Grape Ape.

But it looks
like it's going to be long gone.

It's a home run.

ANNOUNCER: It's still Yogis, 1,
Scoobys, nothing, and Rottens, 1.

But not for long. Ha-ha-ha.

Set up the new ball, Mumbly.

ANNOUNCER: And it's the Scoobys
out on the fast break.

And it's a beautiful shot by Tinker.

It looks like a goal for the Scoobys.

No, wait.

It looks like a goal for the Yogis.

Yes, a goal for the Rottens.

And the Rottens win.

[SNICKERS]

Game and match.

Wait a minute. I see a Rotten.
Correction, I see two Rottens...

...impersonating an officer of the law.
A referee, even.

In a word, from the losers,
it's a penalty, even.

ANNOUNCER:
A foul has been called on the Rottens.

They will receive no points and...
Oh, yes. Yogi used a sticky mallet.

"No points," say the judges.

So scores revert to the last match.
The Scooby Doobies win.

The final, the irrefutable,
the irreconcilable score:

Scoobys first, Yogis second,
and Rottens third.

MILDEW:
I'm standing here in the winners' circle.

Scoobys, you took first place
and the gold medal.

I guess you're happy with the whole pie?

Pie? What pie? Pizza pie?

SNAGGLEPUSS:
And a word from the losers.

[SNICKERING]

DAISY:
Give me that!

I'm tired of losing.

We're gonna be back next week...

...with every lowdown underhanded trick
we can think of.

And we're gonna win. We just...

ANNOUNCER:
So cheerio from London, England.

Join us next week
as we span the globe again...

...to capture the triumph of the victor,
the torment of the vanquished...

...the eternal struggle to be champion,
to be number one...

...to win the coveted
Laff-A-Lympics gold.

DAISY:
Ah, dry up!

[ENGLISH SDH]