Scarborough (2019): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Sudden Apprehension of Barry Dixon - full transcript

Mike receives some unexpected visitors at the arcade. It's not a good day for Geraldine as not only is it Mrs Bookham's funeral but Lisa Marie storms out of the salon after a blazing row.

Does this feel weird for you?
Us, a second time around?

Why, does it feel weird to you?

Well, if I'm honest, it feels
like our last chance.

Geraldine, you have got to tell
the police about that money.

I'm trying to avoid getting Mrs

Bookham into trouble. Geraldine
Pane? Mate, I did this for you.

For me? How's that?

After Tony Peroni threatened
to smash my face in

cos he thought I was you.

What you did brought shame on
me, and you are in my debt.


Weather-wise, what's
happening this morning?

Areas of patchy light
rain and drizzle.

A maximum temperature of 17 Celsius.

State your business.

This is a Neighbourhood Watch area.
You are being filmed as we speak.

Mother, it's me. Open the door.

Oh, it's you. Yes, I've
been waiting ages.

Well, if you'd come in the back way
as usual, I'd have let you in.

Well, I was knocking on the
back door for five minutes.

Yes, well, I've been making a
corn beef hash for Mr Ferris.

He's been a virtual recluse
since his break in.

Mr Ferris? I just seen
him in Jackson's.

No, that wouldn't have
been Mr Ferris.

He's locked himself
away like Hughie Green.

He were in Jackson's buying a loaf.

No, no, no, not Hughie Green.

Who was that millionaire
who was a recluse?

He said you'd invited him
round for dinner. Blimey!

I hope he's hungry.

Right, do you need anything
else before I go to work?

You didn't get any
Worcestershire sauce, did you?

Well, no, you didn't ask me to.

Well, I thought you might've
used your initiative.

Is it just you and Mr Ferris
having this corn beef hash?

You're going to be here all
day. Butter!

I've got no butter!
I've got to go to work.

Ask Mr Ferris, he might've
bought some to go with his loaf.

Oh, by the way, Mike said he might
pop round to see how you are

before you go barricading the door.
I'll call you later.


Hey, what do you think you're d...?

Oh... it's you.

Why would some person pay money
to win something this ugly?

You know what? I've no idea.

Where were you, Mike?
What do you mean?

I sent you a message, "You come
and see me this morning."

Yeah, I get it, I owe you a favour,

but that doesn't make me a member of
your staff,

and how did you get my number?

I have a little business
to attend this evening,

and I need Hayley out of the way.

Well, how am I supposed to help with
that? I want you to take her out.

You want me to kill your girlfriend?

No, you idiot. Take her
out for a drink.

I think I prefer the first option.

Why would I do that?

I just need to know where she is
while I take care of some business.

Nah, sorry, mate.
Not happening.

Are you refusing me?

I'm saying no to that.

Big mistake, Mike.

Big mistake.

Why would anybody pay a pound to
try and win one of those?

I've no idea.

I've seen people put 10, 20, 30 quid
in one of those grabber machines

to win one of them. Have you?
Yeah, I have.

Do you know what I used to say? No.

I used to say, "Fill a grabber
machine full of dog turds

"and people will still try
and win one." Did you?

Yeah, I did, and do you know what
they've got now at Fun City

in the grabber machines?

Poo emojis. They've actually
got stuffed, furry...

What did you say?

I said, "Poo emojis."


Yeah, so I was right, weren't I?

What happened to Oscar Wilde?

He died of meningitis
in a Paris bedsit.

I mean the book.

I read it.

What you on to now?

Oh, ho, ho!


Absolute classic.
Now we're talking!

You've read it?

No, I've not read it, have I?
But I've seen all the films.

All right, here's a question
for you. Best Dracula ever?

Bela Lugosi.


Count Duckula -

it's like Dracula, but
it's for kids.

It's hilarious.
Even you'd like it.

Michael Bradley? Yeah,
how can I help you?

Can we have a word, sir?

Yeah, of course. Just
through here.

Love Really Hurts Without You
by Billy Ocean

There you go, Mrs Frankish.
Good as new.

Oh, thank you, love. Now, if
you go over to Mandy,

she'll find you a coat that fits
you, and she'll take all your money.

Right, shall we make a
start, Mrs Winters?

Find her a coat that fits her?

Mrs Frankish will want to
go home in her own coat.

It was a joke, Mrs Winters.
Come on, let's get you sat down.

I went to a party like that once.

What party?

Where you all throw your house
keys into a fruit bowl

to see who you go home with.

Really? I didn't have you down
as a swinger, Mrs Winters.

I ended up in a two-berth
caravan in Cayton Bay

with a funeral director called Eli.

Best night's sleep I ever had.

Gerry not in today?
No, not yet.

She's late.

I know, but not to worry,
there's two of us now

on minimum wage
that'll hold the fort.

Well, is she not coming in today?

Cos I don't usually have me
hair done by a junior.

None taken.

Where's Karen?

Mandy, give Karen a call
and see where she is, will ya?

I haven't got her number.

I'd have thought they'd have all
been going to Mrs Bookham's funeral,

what with her dying on your toilet.
Mm, is that today?

Oh, for goodness' sake.

Oh, leave that. It's only me
trying to find out where you are.

I'm five minutes late. Well, 10.

Are you not going to Mrs Bookham's
funeral, Karen?

No, I'm not, Mrs Winters.
Some of us have got work to do.

I'd have thought someone would
be representing the salon.

You know, out of respect.

You not going? Me?

I couldn't stand the woman.

I once picked up a quarter of
tongue from Jackson's counter

thinking it were mine, and I've
never heard such language.

She accused me of theft.

Theft! And she hadn't
even paid for it yet,

and we all earn money as well.
Was Mrs Bookham rich?

Mandy, can you tidy
the magazines, please?


She was like Midas in a hairnet.

Although, I should like to know who
scored for all of her thousands

cos she had no family, and she
certainly had no friends.

Right, that's Mrs Bookham's
flowers all paid for.

Everything all right?

So you definitely don't
know the whereabouts

of your flatmate, Mr Dixon? Well,
like I said, I don't know.

I'm sorry. Or Bigsy
as you called him.

Everybody calls him Bigsy.

Well, if you could let Mr Dixon
know that we need to speak to him.

What is this regarding? I'm afraid
we can't discuss that with you...

Burglary. Burglary?! He can't
even get into our flat.

Did he come home last night?
No. Eh... well, I don't know.

You don't know? Well, he
comes and goes.

You know, sometimes I
don't see him for days.

Interesting. Very interesting.

You know, the only other Bigsy
I've heard of is Ronnie Biggs,

the great train robber.

Yeah, well, that's who he's named
after, but it's, you know...

Ah, now we're getting somewhere.

He was on the run for a
while as well, wasn't he?

No, it's ironic.

You know, Bigsy tells everybody he's
got this massive criminal record,

but he's a nobody. He's never
even had a parking ticket.

A double bluff, eh?

Yeah. You build up the
reputation of a scallywag

who keeps calling wolf, then boom!

You start turning over pensioners
on the Westgate Road.

Thank you, PC Merrick.

Listen to me. You're looking
for the wrong fella.

Not only would Bigsy
never steal from anyone,

but my girlfriend's mum lives
next door to that house

that got burgled on Westgate Road...

And suddenly all the pieces
start to fall into place.


No, that's not what I meant.

Thank you, Mr Bradley.
You've been very helpful.

No, no, no. You're
not listening to me!

If Mr Dixon contacts you, please ask
him to come into the police station.

We need to talk to him
as soon as possible.

The quicker we can eliminate him
from our enquiries,

the better for him. Yes?

Yeah, I understand.

Just one more thing... Come on!


Now. About this money you
moved from under the sink.

Oh, yeah, Mrs Bookham's money.

That's right, Mrs Bookham's money.

Well, things are getting a
little bit complicated.

The police asking
where the money is?

No, the police don't know there was
any money in the handbag.

Oh, well, there you go.
You got away with it, then.

I beg your pardon? I haven't
got away with anything!

I took that money from
Mrs Bookham's handbag so... it wouldn't go missing.
Hang on.

I thought you said Mrs Bookham gave
you that money to look after.

Well, it hardly makes any
difference now, does it?

Well, can't you just say,
"Oh, by the way,

"there was money in this
handbag," and give it back?

We can't say that because
we've already said

we didn't look in the bag.

Well, if you need to get rid
of the money, I'll have it.

Lisa Marie, I'm being serious.

So am I!

The point is, it was
a very stressful day,

and there was a terrible mix-up
with this money and... Mix-up?

I'm sorry, Lisa Marie. I fail
to see what's so funny!

Funny? It's hilarious.

If it'd been me that'd robbed money
out of a dead pensioner's handbag...

Shh! ..I can imagine how much
sympathy I'd be getting from you.

You are walking on very
thin ice, young lady.

No, I'm not. It's you that's
walking on thin ice,

and, instead of asking me for help,
you're trying to bully me

into keeping my trap shut.
Do you want to keep this job?

Oh, that's a very good question that
I ask myself every morning,

and do you know what? I think I've
just realised the answer -


No, I don't want to
be paid £8 an hour

for perming dead women's hair
and making cups of tea

and doing both of your jobs
until you decide to show up!

Lisa Marie, where do you
think you're going?!

Come on, we're off.

What do you mean? Lisa Marie,
what's going on?

I'm leaving. Well, I'm not.
I've only just started.

Are you serious?
Uh, yeah.


Lisa Marie, don't go! Lisa Marie!

Let her go. Good riddance
to bad rubbish.

What's going on? I don't know!

Where are you going?!

Is somebody going to do my hair?

Or I'll never get to Mrs
Bookham's funeral!

Lisa Marie, where are you going?

I've had enough. What do you mean
you've had enough?

Will you slow down, please?
It's her, isn't it? Geraldine.

Why? What's she said?

Can you slow down, please?
I've got a stitch.

I'm just sick of being
taken for a mug.

Look, tell me about it. What have
you got to moan about?

Your life's sorted.
What? I beg your pardon.

You've got your own place,
you're earning proper money,

you've got a lovely fella. Have I?

Well, what's wrong with him?


Hey, I thought you'd made up
to be back together?

He's lying to me.

About what?

Well, I did try to tell
you the other day,

but I think you had other
stuff on your mind.

Kaz, I'm so sorry. You know
you can tell me anything.

Basically, I saw him
kissing another woman.

Oh, my God.

He denied it at first, and then
I told him that I saw them together.

He said that she attacked him,

it lasted a few seconds,
and then he pushed her away.

And did it? No.


It lasted longer.

Quite a bit longer.

I mean, I knew Mike
had a wandering eye,

but I thought he'd grown up a bit.

Is that why you split
up the last time?

No... not exactly.

Anyway, listen to me banging on.
I've come to see how you are.

Oh, I'm fine.

I just need a little
break from the salon.

And I think I've just found it.
Right, I'll see you later.

Well, what shall I say to Geraldine?

About what? Lisa Marie!

Can you tell her that
Lisa Marie says,

"She can stick her job right
up her arse"? Cheers, Kaz.

Who is it? It's Mike.

Who? Mike.

Who? Karen's boyfriend.

Oh, Mike! Yeah.

Oh, it's you. You should've said.

I did. Come in, son.

Oh, honestly, I'm not hungry
at all, thank you.

I just came over to see how you are.

Well, that's very kind of you,

but it was Mr Ferris
who got broken into.

Look, it's really kind, but I've
just had a cup of tea and a Kit Kat.

Do you know? They absolutely
ruined his front room.

There we go.

Oh! There.

Whoa, whoa! Steady on.

I'll never get through all that.

I've got to be back in work
in 10 minutes. Now.

Do you want brown sauce?

Aye, go on, then.

Donde Estas, Yolanda?
By Pink Martini

Well! Of all the parks
in all of Scarborough,

you happened to walk into mine.
You told me you were here.

Yeah, I know. It was a joke.

Oh, right. Well, you could've
told me you were up here,

cos I've walked around the
park four times.

Scampi fry? Yeah.
Don't mind if I do.

Mm, nice these.

Yeah, they were.

So... Well, nice to see you.
Thought you might be working.

Oh, I was just on my
way home when you text,

so I thought I might as well swing
by. Oh. You're on your way home?


Good night the other night.

Yeah, I enjoyed it.
I love a bit of karaoke, me.

Eh, do you want to take a pew?

Take a what?

Sit down. Yeah.

So, eh, you work with Mike's
better half, then?

Karen? She's lovely. Yeah.

I think we might've met before.

Yeah, probably. I think I've
definitely seen you around. Oh.

Had your eye on me, have you?

No, I just mean I've seen
you around Scarborough.

Well, it's a small town, innit?
You can say that again.

Although... I mainly move
around in my job.

Oh, right. What do you do?

I work for... the government.

Oh, right, doing what?
I can't tell you that.

Why not?

Eh, it's kind of undercover.

It's police? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Quite the opposite. Well,
no, not the opposite. Um...

I work for a British
government enterprise

that kind of operates
above the police.

I don't understand that.

Right, have you ever
heard the phrase,

"It takes a thief
to catch a thief"?

Are you a thief? No,
no, no, silly. No.

I... Um, you know when
the big companies

don't want their computer systems
hacked, who do they employ?

Computer hacker.

Except I don't sit behind
a desk all day. Oh.


Just come back from a big
operation in the Ukraine.

Pretty intense shit.

What were you doing?
I can't tell you that.

Oh, OK.

But, um, on our way home,

we managed to swing by an
orphanage in Romania. Yeah.

We'd received intel that their
electricity and water supply

had been cut off by a local rebels.

What did you do?

We took care of it.

I mean, you think a 60-watt light
bulb shines bright, but, man,

it's nothing compared to 100
smiling orphans' faces.

Oh, my God. Mm, yeah, just
a day's work, innit?

I've just thought our
garage light's broken.

You could probably fix
that, couldn't ya?

Well, no, this is like European
electronics, electrics.

Oh, right, and we're going
out of Europe. Exactly. Yeah.

Still, amazing job, though.
Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

I mean, I could tell you more
about it if you're interested.

Is it... is it too early
for a nice cold pint?

I'm on my way home.

Yeah, OK.

I could meet you later, though?

Do you want to go to The Ship?

What? Yeah, no, OK, yeah.
Nice one, yeah. What time?

Eh, I'll text you.

# I'm lying alone

# With my head on the phone

# Thinking of you till it hurts. #

Well, I've got to say,
that was pretty phenomenal.

Mm, well, Mr Ferris's
loss was your gain.

Yeah, about four pound in weight
and two inches around me waist.

So are you going to marry
her, then, or what?

I beg your pardon? Karen.
You don't think I ask you in

just to eat me out of house
and home, do you?

Well, you know, we've only just got
back together, haven't we?

Yes, I know, and you buggered
it up last time by letting that

skinny streak of piddle marry
her. What was his name?

Darren? It's always difficult the
second time around, you know?

We're just taking it easy.

How long were you together the
first time? Five years.

Yeah, well, there you go. You want
to be taking her up the aisle,

never mind the bloody cinema.

We've just been going through
a tricky patch, you know.

It's going to take time.

You need to live together.

What's the point of courting?
You did that for years.

Look, if you've both decided to
make another go of it,

then pick up where you left off.

I think you're right.
Yes, of course I'm right.

I'm her mother.

Get her moved in with you,
ask her to marry you.

Maybe not on the same day, but I'll
leave the finer details to you.

All right.

I best be going to work. "We have
all the time in the world."

Do you know that song?
Yeah, Louis Armstrong.

Mm, Karen's father always
used to sing it to me

when I got impatient, when I
wanted things done right away.

"What's the hurry?" he used to say.

"We have all the time in the world."

I wish we did.

I miss him every day.

I understand what you're saying.

Right, I'd best be off.
Don't get up.

I just want the best
for my daughter.

I know you do.

So do I.

Thank you, Mrs Gilroy. And
don't worry about the colour.

That'll calm down after
a couple of washes,

and in the meantime, it's nice and
bright for the summer, isn't it?

Well, I suppose so.

Yes, well, Mandy will see you out.

Well, what a day.

How are you feeling? Well,
my nerves are shot to pieces.

I'm not sure I can take much more.
Am I all right to go?

Yeah, of course.

Do you want a drink?

Well, there is a bottle of Remy
Martin knocking about somewhere

if you want to put
the closed sign on.

I just meant a cup of tea.
Oh, I see.

No, I'm fine.

I was thinking of you! As you know,
I don't really drink.

Right, well, I'd best be off.

Me and Mike are going to that
new Italian tonight.

You know, opposite The Ship?

More than welcome to come with us.
Oh, don't be silly. Off you go.

I'll be off then.

Do you want me to talk to
our Lisa Marie?

Eh, no, I haven't decided what to
do about Lisa Marie yet.

Thank you, Mandy.

Well, I know she's me sister,

but I think she's mental
for leaving this place.

Well, thanks. And I know it's, like,
mainly rank old women

getting hair dos from, like,
World War I or whatever,

but it's better than
working in a bar

getting your bum pinched all
night, ain't it?

Thank you for that vote
of confidence, Amanda.

All right. See you in the morning.

Right, Gerry. I'm off.
I'll drop the latch.

See you tomorrow.

Working in a bar getting
your bum pinched all night.

Chance'd be a fine thing.

# All by myself

# Don't want to be all by myself

# Any more

# All by myself. #

Oh, Jack, am I all
right sitting here?

Yeah, of course you are, yeah.

I told this lot I had to open the
bar at seven, so they do know.

I just feel like I'm intruding.
No, no, you're fine.

Do you want a sandwich?

They're mainly egg mayonnaise,
so they won't keep.

No, I'm all right. We're off
out for tea in a bit.

Still up for the charity night?
Yeah, of course.

I said I'd do it, no problem.

Hey, it's going to be a big night.
We've got, eh, Danny Wild,

meat raffle, drag queen
from Brid, and, eh,

Tony's just donated 100 tubs
of ice cream. Who has?

Tony from Peroni's ice cream.
Do you not know him?

No, not really.

Jack! Uh, yes, yes, I'm coming.

Oh, was just texting you.
Yeah, well, I'm here now.

Oh, is that Mrs Bookham's funeral?
Well, what's left of it, yeah.

Right, shall we make a move?

Well, the restaurant's
not booked till eight.

Yeah, but if we go now, they
might have a table ready.

I'm not going yet.
I've only just got here.

You have seen who's at the bar?
Yes, of course I have.

Just walked straight past 'em.

Right, so let's make tracks.

No, because then they'll think
we're going because they're here.

That's exactly the reason
I want to go.

Yes, well, I don't.

Thank you, by the way, for going
to see me mum. She were thrilled.

Oh, was she? Well, she said you ate
her out of house and home,

but she seemed quite happy about it.

Oh, yeah, if you mean a
plate of corn beef hash

that I never asked for.

Kaz? Yeah.

What do you think about us
two moving in together?

Moving in? Yeah.

It's a little bit sudden.

A bit sudden?

We were together for five years.

Yeah, that were nearly
five years ago.

Well, do you not want
to live together?

Well, I just think we
should take things steady.

I just don't think it'd hurt
to have a look round

and just see what's out there.

I suppose.

I want to spend the rest
of my life with you.

Do you? Yeah.

I want to make you happy.

Well... you can start by
getting me half a lager.

Mike, what can I get you? Just
a pint and a half of Ellison's,

please, Jess. I'm going to have
to go change the barrel.

It doesn't have to be Ellison's.
I'll drink anything, me!

I'll have a bottle.
I don't mind a bottle!

Listen. I just want you to
know everything's cool.


All right, no problem.

Tony knows nothing happened
between us. Don't you, Tony?

Anyway, he does.

I'll powder my nose.

Look, life's too short
to bear a grudge.

We should all go out
for a drink sometime.

You know, the four of us.

Tony's just got shares in
the new wine bar on York Place.

I don't drink wine.

They do other drinks as well.

I tell you what, just
let me check me diary.


I'm busy for the next 12 months.

Don't make an enemy of me, Karen.

Well, they do say keep your friends
close and your enemies closer.

But until you do something about
that bloated, saggy face of yours

and that pound shop perfume,

I think I'll keep you
as far away as possible.

Big mistake.

Are you still here?

I don't want any trouble.

Nobody refuses the Peronis.

Look, I'm sorry I couldn't
help you out.

What do you think my
girlfriend would say

if I took Hayley out for a drink?

And I tell you, I'd rather
answer to you than to Karen.

Really? Yeah, really.

I don't think you understand
who you are dealing with.

Next time my boys pay a visit,

it won't be just the furniture
that gets broken.

What you talking about?

Your mother's house... on
Westgate Road.

Everything all right, lads?


Yeah, everything's cool. Of course.
That £5.70, please, Mike.

I think I might start the karaoke.

Might get rid of the last
of the Addams Family.

How about a song, Mike?

No, not tonight, Jack.

You know my grandfather
used to sing with Caruso?

Did he? Mm-hm.

My dad used to sing with
his finger in his ear.

Funny old world, ain't it?

I'll just put some music on.

Five Get Over Excited
by The Housemartins

I've changed me mind.
I'm hungry now.

I've just paid for these.

Is that Lisa Marie? Yeah, she's
probably waiting for Bigsy.

He's on some sort of promise with
her. Lisa Marie and Bigsy? Yeah.

She kept that quiet.

Come on, then. If we're
going to go, let's go.

All right, Bigsy, do you want a
pint? I'm good, thanks.

Where's he gone? What's he doing?

Whoa! Whoa.

What's going on, Bigsy?
Police! Stand still!

Whoa, whoa! Hey, lads, come
on. There's no need for this!

Stay where you are!

You don't have to say anything.

What are you arresting him for?
He's done nothing!

If he's done nowt, why did he run?

You do not have to say anything,
but it may harm your defence

if you do not mention
when questioned. For God's sake.

Bigsy! I'm fine!

Free the Scarborough one!

# You're wondering now

# What to do now you know
this is the end

# You're wondering how

# You will pay for the
way you did behave

# Curtain has fallen

# Now you're on your own

# I won't return. #