Saved by the Bell (1989–1992): Season 4, Episode 8 - Day of Detention - full transcript

[bell rings]

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪



♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Hey, guys, guess what?
Great news.

Paula Abdul's
the new gym teacher.

Even better.

Rappin' Ken Kelly's broadcasting
from the Max all afternoon.

The 10th caller
wins a trip to Hawaii.

A trip to Hawaii?

Man, I'm going
to win this contest.

I'm tuned in and ready to dial.

I've got the hall phone.



Anyone touches it, they die.

In the meantime, I've
got to find a date.

[bell rings]

Gretchen, hi.
How you doing?

Hello, class.

Good morning,
Mr. Belding.

I'm substituting
for Mr. Johnson,

who's having emergency surgery.

Ha ha ha ha!

Really? That's terrific!

I don't think so, Zack.

Huh?

I wasn't talking to you,
Mr. Belding. Go ahead.

I'm sorry.
It's no big deal.

Like I was saying, how do
you feel about pineapples,

snorkeling,
sunsets on the beach?

Enough! Zack,
hang up that phone now.

Gretchen, I'll
have to call you back. Bye.

Zack, from now on,

no more cellular
phone calls in this school.

Guys, Ken Kelly just said
he'd be taking calls at 2:00.

Man, I've got to be
that 10th caller.

I think I've got a way to do it.

We're here to fix the phones.

I didn't know they're broken.

They're not.

They why fix them?

Just do what we
planned, simpleton.

Got you, chief.

Listeners, if you're
caller number 10

when you c-call in,

a trip to Hawaii is wh-what
you're going to w-win.

Now check out this tune

while I sample
a delicious M-M-Max burger.

You want to risk a burger?

Never. Go get me
some Sushi.

Hi, there.
You must be Ken Kelly.

The DJ that makes your day.

You sound cool over the radio.

Thanks.

But you look so dorky in person.

We're going to check your phones

to make sure everything's
ready for the big contest.

Great! Go for it!

I won't be long.

Rig it so you can intercept
the incoming calls.

No problem. You found
the right man for the job.

Tori, here's my system--

dial all the numbers
except the last one.

When you hear caller
number 9, finish dialing.

Great strategy.

O.K., O.K., come on.

Come on.

Excuse me, please. I have
to call my orthodontist.

You want to live
to see tomorrow?

Get out of here.

It's on you, number 10.

Call in now and talk to Ken.

O.K., Zack,
ready for your call.

Ken Kelly show.

Hi, this is Lisa. Am I
caller number 10?

You sound cute, but no.

Ken Kelly show. No.

Ken Kelly show. No.

What's going on?
No calls are coming in.

I don't know.
Everything's working fine.

Caller number 10, are
you going to call in?

Ken Kelly show.

Hi, Screech.
It's me.

I'm glad it's you.

I was getting worried.
What's new?

Who cares? Put me
through to Ken Kelly.

Sheesh, what a grouch.
Transferring.

[telephone rings]

All right!
The phones are back.

Hello. Who's calling?

Zack Morris.

We've got a winner!

Congratulations, Zack Morris.

You're our 10th caller.

Know what that means?

I'm going to Hawaii.

Only if you answer
some questions.

Can you be
at the Max at 4:00?

You bet. Today at 4:00,
I will be--

In detention.

I told you not to use this
telephone on school property again.

What are you doing, landscaping
for the Barbie mansion?

Ha ha.

This is a bonsai tree.

Bonsai cultivation happens
to be an ancient Japanese art.

I'm giving this to Mrs. B
for our anniversary.

Hyah!

That's nice. Can I go
to the bathroom?

O.K., but you better
be back in five minutes.

You can trust me, sir.

Hyah!

Hey, Slater, am I
glad to see you.

You must need a favor.

Can't a friend just be
happy to see his best friend?

What is it, Preppie?

I need a favor.

Forget it.

What if I offered you
a free trip to Hawaii?

Hula dancers. Grass skirts.

Mini-grass skirts.

Still busy?

Hmm. You found
my weakness.

What do I do?

Hawaii, here I come.

Aah!

What was that?

My gosh, I don't know.

It must be Slater--

I mean, someone hurt themselves.

Oh... oh...

Slater, what happened?

I was bringing the tackling
dummy to practice

when I tripped and
fell down the stairs. Ow!

Are you hurt bad?

Yes-- I mean, it seems that way.

I think I broke my leg.

- Let me check.
- No. No. No.

No time. I have to bring
him to the hospital.

- Good idea!
- No, I'll take him.

You are the principal.
They need you here.

Oh, no!
Belding hit him!

I didn't hit him,
Ox. He fell down.

And I'm taking him to
the hospital, so bye, Ox.

I can't leave my team captain.

I'll carry him.

Ox... Ox...

Well, be careful, Ox.

Uh, Slater, that must have
really hurt your broken leg.

Huh?

Oh, yeah. Ow!

Wait a minute. What
is going on here?

Ox just smashed your leg
and you didn't make a peep.

That's 'cause he's a real man.

That's 'cause he's a real faker.

I small a rat.

A blond rat.

Slater, did Zack
put you up to this?

Sorry, Preppie.

I've got to get to practice.
Come on, Ox.

Ah, ah, ah, ah!

The only place you're
going is to detention.

Ox.

They got a doctor in there?

[whistling]

I've got one hour left.

How can I get out of here?

Give it up, Preppie.

You'll be in here so long,
you can change your address.

Whoa.

Jackpot.

Poor guy. Instead of going
to Hawaii, he gets detention.

I think he's trying
to tell me something.

"Help.
Get me out of detention

and I'll take you
to Hawaii."

I don't trust him.

"Trust me."

I could use a week
of fun and sun.

Me, too, but how
do we get him out?

"This is how
you get me out."

Mr. Belding, Zack's mom
needs him home right away.

What happened?

Uh, I don't know.
She just said it was urgent.

[telephone rings]

Hello.
Zack Morris' phone.

Mr. Belding?

Yes, Mrs. Morris.

Very nice to hear from you, too.

I need Zack home
as soon as possible.

There's been a...
a mud slide.

That's odd. It hasn't
rained in weeks.

[bell rings]

Was that our school bell?

Bell?
Oh, that was my timer.

My muffins are ready.

Muffins, you say?

Yeah, banana nut.
Zack's favorite.

Banana nut are my favorite, too.

Eew.

Let's go. You've got
a date in detention.

Well, it's been real.
Got to go.

Choir practice.

Not so fast, Lisa.

Why don't you and Tori take
a seat in front of Mr. Slater?

Aloha.

You guys still mad at me?

- Plbbbb!
- Plbbbb!

O.K. I guess
that means yes.

Looks like time's
running out, Preppie.

Only 40 minutes left.

This isn't fair.

I got to do something.

Excuse me, Mr. Belding.

Would you mind helping me
with my biology homework?

Well, Zack, I'm impressed you're
using your time efficiently.

I'd be glad to help.

You know, I never
quite understood...

The frog intestine.

Ooh. Gross looking,
isn't it?

I'll say.

In fact, it looks an
awful lot like cow brains.

Yeah.

In some countries,
blood-soaked oozing cow brains

is considered
a gourmet delicacy.

M-m-m-my stomach is...

Maybe we should take a bite
and see how it tastes.

Oh...

Not bad, Preppie.

All right, all right.
Come on, answer.

Answer.

Answer!

Hello!

Screech!

With whom am I speaking?

Pinhead, it's me, Zack.

Zack! Great
to hear your voice.

You really should
be here in person.

Ken Kelly's leaving soon.

I've got a way for you
to come with me to Hawaii.

Me go to Hawaii?
I'd love to.

It's jellyfish season.

Whatever.
Listen carefully.

I'll give you a
crash course on Hawaii.

3:45 and no
Zack Morris.

Maybe this guy doesn't
want to go to Hawaii.

Hey, Ken, baby.
I'm Zack Morris.

Z-Z-Zack Morris
completed the race

by coming down here
and showing his face,

which could be good or bad
depending upon who's looking.

Let's start the contest.

I'm ready.
I'm going to win.

Great, but before we start,

what's the first thing you're going
to do when you get to Hawaii?

Well, I...

Uh...

I'll... be right back.

Where is he going?

Where is he going?

Oh, man, I'm going to kill him.

Zack, I have to ask you
a question.

Whoa, Screech.

This room is for people
in detention only.

You'll have to talk
to Zack later.

- But I--
- Out! Out!

I said this room
is for people in detention.

You know, you're a dufus.

What's he doing?

What did you say?

I called you a dufus,
you big dork.

Am I in detention yet?

For the rest of the afternoon.

Take a seat, young man.

Thanks, sir.
Thanks a lot.

I rushed to ask you

what's the first thing
you'll do in Hawaii?

Idiot...

Now that you're in detention,

you won't be able to tell
my answer to Ken Kelly.

Oops.

Everything was going
so well, too.

Once a peabrain,
always a peabrain.

His name is Zack.

He's got 15 minutes
to bring himself back.

The prize is down,
but he's not around.

He might not win
the tri-tri-trip n-now.

I got to do something.

I got to be
in two places at once.

Someone should tell Mr. Belding
he's trimming that bonsai all wrong.

You know about
those dwarf trees?

I just finished reading the
Bonsai Tree Llover's Handbook.

You're kidding.
This is perfect.

I'll lend it to you.

I don't want to read it.

Distract Belding by telling
him everything you know.

That could take hours.

Well, good. Go!

Mr. Belding, may I
make a suggestion?

I happen to be a bonsai expert.

You are?

I have a black belt in pruning.

Each branch's shape
symbolizes an emotion.

Psst. Guys,
I need your help.

Get real.

No, thanks. One double-cross
per day is our limit.

All right.
I'm sorry.

If I don't get to the Max,
nobody will win anything.

He does have a point.

I hate it when he has a point.

I can still win two
tickets and prize money.

We'll work something out.

Help me.
I've got an idea.

Too much foliage
on the left-hand side

symbolizes flabby emotions.

It means you're a namby-pamby.

I don't want Mrs. Belding
thinking that.

Even it out.

Exactly my point.

A clip clip here,
a clip clip there.

Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.

Ah. Now we're
getting somewhere.

It's starting to look
a bit thin.

Thin is in.

It's bonsai, not sumo wrestling.

Ta-da!

Ta-da?

Screech, there's nothing left.

You have ruined my tree!

If that's the gratitude
I get, then I quit.

Hmmph!

I tried, but obviously Belding
knows squat about bonsai.

10 seconds left.

9... 8... 7... 6...

Stop. Stop. I'm here.

- Who are you?
- Zack Morris.

Nice try, but Zack Morris
is a skinny little nerd.

Hey, no, I'm not.

That nerd was my friend
pretending to be me.

Here's my driver's
license to prove it.

Well, folks, the real Zack
Morris has finally arrived.

Let's get on with the contest.

Ask me anything.
I'm ready.

Answer these three questions
and the trip is yours.

I'm packed and ready to go.

Question number 1--
on December 7, 1941,

this naval base was attacked
by the Japanese.

Pearl Harbor on the island
of Oahu, west of Honolulu.

- Correct!
- Yes!

Question number 2--

it's a northern beach where
surfers from all over the world

come to hang 10.
Name it.

Pipeline on Sunset Beach.

Correct again!

Zack Morris, you are 2 for 2.

Before that big
question number 3,

let's pause
for this announcement.

Zack, this is detention.

No napping.

Uh... I don't think
he's feeling well.

You're not kidding.

You should see how
pale and bony he looks.

What Screech means is, he's
been studying a lot lately.

It's hard keeping a tan
in the library.

Ha! Zack doesn't even know
where the library is.

Now wake up!

Maybe you shouldn't
wake him yet.

He can be really grouchy.

I said no sleeping.

You tyrant!

You starved him to death!

I think I know
what's going on here.

No one leaves until I get back.

And now, for the third
and final question--

this ancient hobby
is practiced in Hawaii

and involves
pruning miniature trees.

Name this art form.

Wait. I know this.

It's, uh...

It's, uh...

It's the stupid tree
Belding was playing with.

It's, uh...
Wait. It's bon...

Bolshoi.

Sorry. You lose, dude.

Ask me another
question. Please!

Sorry. No can do.

We still need a winner.

The next person
that comes through that door

and answers this question
will win it all.

There you are.

And here's our new contestant.

What? Who are you?

I'm rappin' Ken Kelly.

Tell us what ancient hobby
involves pruning miniature trees

and win a trip for two
to Hawaii.

That's easy.
It's bonsai.

Bonsai! I knew it.

We have a winner!

Finally I can get out of here.

I won?

This is the perfect
anniversary gift.

Yeah.

Yeah. Happy anniversary.

Zack, I owe it all to you.

I thought you were just
trying to skip detention.

Oh, no, sir. I was
doing this all for you.

It took weeks of planning.

Maybe you'll do me
a favor in return.

- We'll talk about it.
- All right.

In detention.