Saved by the Bell (1989–1992): Season 4, Episode 7 - Masquerade Ball - full transcript

Zack and Slater make a bet on who can kiss Tori first and the school's annual masquerade ball seems to be their best chance. But Tori finds out from Screech's big mouth and she plans revenge against both of them at the costume ball. Meanwhile, Lisa has a secret admirer and she thinks it's Zack, but it's Screech. Things take another turn when Mr. Belding Occidental gets Screech's love letter by accident and he assumes it's from the nearsighted music teacher Mrs. Culpepper.

[bell rings]

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪



♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Ginger, it's a shame we have
that masquerade party coming up.

Why? It'll be fun.

Well, what Slater's
trying to say is,

it'll be a shame hiding that
beautiful face behind a mask.

Oh, Zack, you are so cute.

Hey, Preppie, you
butted in on my chick.

I was saving your butt.

I've heard parrots
talk a smoother game.

Please.



Excuse me, Tweedle-dee
and Tweedle-duh.

You can't treat girls
like boy-toys.

Say, is someone talking to us?

No. Just ignore her,
and maybe she'll disappear.

Come out of your cave,
guys. It's the nineties.

- It's the nineties!
- It's the nineties!

Uh, hey, guys,
I'm kind of new here.

Can you tell me where to
find the principal's office?

Screech, what's wrong with you?

Darn. I'm testing disguises
for the masquerade ball.

How'd you guys know it was me?

Just a lucky guess. Duh!

Uh, hey, there beautiful,
I'm kind of new here.

Screech, get lost.

Maybe I'll just join the club and
hit myself over the head with it.

Tory, guess what I found
in my locker?

Luke Perry?

No. I got a letter
from a secret admirer.

Listen.

"Dear Lisa, you are so
beautiful, so fair, and so lovely.

If you were mine, I'd shower
you with gifts of gold."

Sounds like your dream man.

Yeah. Warm, loving, and
ready to spend big bucks.

He said if I dare respond to
leave a letter behind the easel.

Are you gonna write him back?

Are you crazy? Of course
I'm writing him back.

[bell rings]

Hello, class.

- Hello.
- How ya doing?

Everyone to your seats please.

You, too, young man.
Please take your seat.

Today, each student
will sculpt another person.

Remember. The art of sculpture
is seeing with your hands.

Please begin.

Hello there, beautiful.

I'm the new student.

Have you seen
Mrs. Culpepper?

Screech, silly boy.
It's me.

I give up.

Hey, Malika.

How would you like me
to be your personal model?

Or me. And if you
want to get an "A",

I'll take off my shirt.

I think I'm going to be ill.

Why don't you little boys
try growing up?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That girl definitely wants me.

Get real.

Tory's hot for me.

Uh, call me crazy, but I think
she hates both of you equally.

She doesn't hate me.

I can see it in her eyes.

She wants to kiss me.

Oh, please. Forget it.

Tory will kiss me
before she kisses you.

I've got 50 bucks to back it up.

You're on.

The kiss has to be on the
lips for at least 3.5 seconds.

And there has to be a witness.

Deal.

Nice sculpture.

You've got talent.

Slater, what are you
doing here? School's over.

All the bimbos are out
shopping for diet soda.

Good one.

No, actually,
I came to apologize.

I thought about what you said.

It's time I change the
way I act towards women.

Get out of here.

No. Really.

I just hope you can
forgive me. Please?

OK. I accept
your apology.

Great. Thanks.

Uh, listen, have you seen Tammy?

She's my model,
and if she doesn't show up,

well, I'm going to flunk.

Well, I can help.

I'm done with my project.

You mean, you'd model for me?

I can't ask you to do that.

Well, if you insist,
sit over here.

[whistling]

Uh, don't mind me.

I'm not even here.

OK. Now, Tory, can
you pucker your lips?

My sculpture is called,

"young girl on
the verge of a kiss."

Like this?

Good, good.
But lacking realism.

Maybe if we pretend
to kiss for 3.5 seconds,

you can hold the pose.

Does it have to be that real?

Reality is the best guide.

I want to win-- I mean,
get an "A" on this project.

OK.

She loves me!

Screech, what are
you yelling about?

Uh, nothing.
Never mind.

I'm not here.
You didn't see me.

Thanks, Zack, for
taking me to the movie.

It's the least I could
do for being such a jerk.

I'm having some
effect on people.

I should become a shrink.

Let's sit right here.

And where's that
special waiter I hired?

"My beloved
lotus blossom..."

"Dear...
Dearest love..."

Perfect.

Get over here.

Hello.
I'm Screech your witness.

I mean, uh, waiter.

Just tell us the specials.

We have hamburger,
turkey burger,

chicken burger,
and little green peas.

We'll have hamburgers.

Ah!

Wasn't that a great movie?

I only saw half of it.

I was too busy watching you.

Get out of here.

Zack, this has been one
of the nicest evenings

I've ever spent with a guy.

I'm glad.

I like this romantic stuff.

Most guys I know take
me to the demolition derby.

I guess I'm not most guys.

I'm having fun, too.
More than I expected.

I like your new attitude
towards girls.

And I love your smile.

Would you like
to take a closer look?

[beep]

Boy, this has been
a great evening, huh?

Let's get out of here.

Oh, yeah.

I'll, uh, take care
of the check.

Whoo.

What happened, Zack?

You blew it.

You could've kissed her and won.

Screech, I can't kiss her.

I like her.

Give it to me one more time.

You didn't like her, so
you wanted to kiss her,

but now you like her,
so you can't kiss her.

Right!
You finally got it.

I do? I don't even know
what I'm talkin' about.

Oh!

Screech... Screech, listen.

I could have kissed her
if I wanted to,

but it wouldn't have been
right because of the bet.

But, Zack, if you don't
kiss her, Slater'll win.

I don't care about the bet.

Zack Morris doesn't care
about a bet?

The world's going goofy!

Go.

Just...

Screech.

Hey, Preppie.

Slater, uh, listen.

I want to call the bet off.

No, luck, huh?

No, that's not it.

It's not a good bet.

Who cares about
kissing Tory, right?

Yeah, right.

I'm not falling for it.

Slater, Slater, I'm serious.

It's not the right
thing to do to a girl.

Hey, I'm not kissing any guys.

No. Let's just call
the bet off, OK?

No way.

I'm not falling for your
honesty routine, Zack.

The bet is still on.

[Lisa's voice]
"Whenever I think of you,

the air fills with
the sweet scent of roses."

Uh, hi, Lisa.

What have you got there?

It's a love letter
from the secret admirer.

I don't know who he is,
but I'm sure he's Mr. Right.

Have you told him how you feel?

Well, sort of.

Tell him that your heart's
filled with love,

and your lips ache to tell.

Secret admirers
love stuff like that.

Oh, wow.
That's good, Screech.

Come on. You're helping
me write a letter.

I'd love to.

- Oh!
- Oh!

I'm such a klutz.

Can you ever forgive me,
Miss Simpson?

Ms. Culpepper,
it's me, Mr. Belding.

Oh. Sorry.

Ms. Culpepper, you're very
attractive without your glasses.

Have you thought
about wearing contact lenses?

Why, yes, but they don't
make them that thick.

Oh.

Uh...

[crash]

[whistling]

Ready?

Ta-da!

I call it "Dream Man."

He's what I imagine
my dream man to be like.

Don't we all, dear?

Don't we all?

[bell rings]

Class dismissed.

Hello, Lisa.

Nice sculpture.

Thanks.

What's the matter,
you got a cramp?

Uh, Lisa?

I need your advice.

Sure, Zack.

Well, you see,
there's someone I like,

but I haven't told her yet
because there's a problem.

Problem? Like what, ugly
boots, bad hair, what?

Actually, it's because
of a secret.

Did you say secret?

Oh, my gosh.

What's the matter?

Nothing, nothing.
Please, continue.

OK.

Well, you see, if I tell
this girl about the secret,

I think I might lose her.

Tell me.

Does this "girl" happen to have

a unique fashion sense?

Definitely. Yes.

Good student,
intelligent, well-bred?

Incredibly.

This is fantastic.

Really?

I mean for you.

Zack, you've got to
tell her how you feel.

OK.

Thanks, Lisa,
I'll think about it.

[sighs]

This is for you, Zack.

My secret admirer.

Oh, my.

A lost letter.

Better put this
in the lost and found.

"Dear dearest love..."

I'm Ms. Culpepper's
dearest love?

Tory!
Tory, Tory, Tory!

I found out who
my secret admirer is.

It's Zack!

Oh, by the way, hello.

Zack? You mean
Zack Morris?

Yes! He's so cute.

He wanted to tell me right out,
but he was too shy.

That's... real nice, Lisa.

Zack is a real swell guy.

I'm going to see if he's
answered my letter. Bye.

Hi, Lisa. Bye, Lisa.

Where was she going
in such a hurry?

She's excited
about her secret admirer.

She was? Well,
that's terrific.

She's thrilled,
but I think he's a jerk.

Hey!

And a hypocrite.

No, he's not.
He's a methodist.

He's a two-timing rat.

Lisa's in for
a big disappointment

when she finds out
what Zack's really like.

Zack?

Lisa said Zack is
her secret admirer?

Yes, and while he was
writing her love letters,

he was treating me
to a romantic dinner.

I feel like an idiot.

Don't feel bad, Tory.

Thanks, Screech.

Zack only treated you to the
romantic dinner to win the bet.

Oops!

Bet?

What bet?

Um, I forget.

Got to run. Bye!

Not so fast, Screech.

Talk or lose
that tongue forever.

Yikes!

Zack and Slater had a bet going
about who could kiss you first.

They did, did they?

Yeah, um...

This is one bet
they're both gonna lose.

Good. Can me and
my tongue go now?

Tory, I got another
letter from Zack!

Big deal.

What's wrong with you?

Oh, I'm sorry, Lisa.
I'm a little bummed.

What did he write this time?

OK. "My dearest,

"I know my identity
is causing some confusion,

"so I've decided to declare
my love in person.

"Look for me
at the masquerade ball.

I'll be Gumby.
Yours forever."

Zack's going as Gumby.

Very interesting.

Here he comes now.

Tory, don't say a thing
about the letters, OK?

Oh, my gosh.
I need lipstick.

Hi, Tory.

I need to talk to you.

About our romantic night out?

Uh, yeah.

This isn't easy for me to say,
but I owe you an apol--

Hi, Zack. You look
handsome today.

But you always
look handsome on Friday.

Well, thanks, Lisa,
but Tory and I are--

I'm in the way here.

You two talk.

Tory, I need to talk--

We can talk tonight.

[bell rings]

Well, I got to go.

But look for me
tonight at the ball.

I'll be wearing
a cat costume. Meow.

Yes, Ms. Culpepper?

Oh, Mr. Belding.

My, you answered
that door quickly.

I was just leaving.

What can I do for you?

I need to talk to you
about paint supplies.

Paint supplies?

Let's be honest with
each other, Ms. Culpepper.

You want to talk about us.

Mr. Belding,
you're a very nice man,

but I'm in desperate
need of paints.

Aren't we all
in need, Ms. Culpepper?

Yes, indeed,

but about the paints...

Ms. Culpepper,
what you're feeling,

or the "paint" as you call it,

is very beautiful,
and I am flattered.

What?

Now, don't be embarrassed.

It's very natural for a person
to be attracted to someone

in a position of
authority like a principal.

Oh, my word.

But my "paint"
for you is different.

Do you get my drift?

Oh, Mr. Belding.

Oh, my gosh!

Hey, Slater, I think
I found the right pose.

How's this?

Ow!

Tory, what was that for?

Don't play stupid
with me, stupid.

I know about the bet.

- You do?
- Screech told me.

It's OK.
I can take a joke,

but Zack pretended he liked me.

That ticks me off.

Look, Tory, um, I'm sorry.

Forget about it.

In fact, I want you
to win the bet.

So you can get back at Zack?

Anything wrong with that?

Not by me.
What's your plan?

I'm letting you kiss me
at the masquerade ball.

What's your costume?

I'll be an astronaut.

OK, Mr. Spaceman,

meet me at the punch bowl
at 9:00 for your big kiss.

You'll know it's me. I'll
be dressed as Gumby.

Gumby.

[music playing]

Uh, Ms. Culpepper,

we really have to talk
about our relationship.

Mr. Belding,
you are a married man.

I know, and that's the problem.

Well, I never!

It's me -- Tory.

We can talk later, but you
got to go to Lisa right away.

She knows you wrote the letters.

She's thrilled you're her
secret admirer. Isn't that great?

She said meet her at the
punch bowl at 9:00 for a kiss.

She's dressed as an astronaut.

Oh, um,
Mr. Scuba diver,

um, do I have
lipstick on my teeth?

Uh, no, you don't.

OK.

And I'm an astronaut.

Oh.

That's really cute.

Hi, Lisa.
It's me Zack.

I got to talk to you about Tory.

Zack?

I like your cat costume.

Look, uh, I feel really bad because
Slater and I made this stupid bet

about who could
kiss Tory first--

Meow?

See, something happened
between us on our date,

which is why I didn't kiss her.

I wanted to lose.
I didn't want to hurt her.

Meow?

Can't you say anything else?

Purr?

Anyway, look,
I need your advice.

I want to tell Tory I like her,

but how do I do that?

You just told her.

Tory.

I thought you were Lisa.

Never mind that.
Who's Gumby?

Gumby? Who cares?

- Aah!
- Aah!

What are you doing here?

I thought you were Lisa.

I should have known
you weren't her though.

Lisa would never wear
Brut cologne.

Screech, no one saw us.

You don't tell anyone, I won't.

- Deal.
- Deal.

Hey, Mr. B.!

Arr.

Wait. You thought
I was coming as Gumby,

and you were setting me up.

You have to admit
you deserved it.

At least I thought you did.

I'm impressed.
Very creative.

I hope Slater thinks so, too.

What do we do now?

Why not finish that kiss
we started at the Max?

Meow.

[sighs]

This is the moment
I've been waiting for.

I know who you are,
and I love you.

Aah!

Well, now, this is what
I call true love.

Lisa?

Lisa.