Saved by the Bell (1989–1992): Season 4, Episode 18 - Video Yearbook - full transcript

Zack creates a "Girls of Bayside" dating video in order to make enough money to buy a car, but when Screech mixes up the tapes and the others see what Zack has produced instead of the video yearbook he promised, everyone wants Zack's hide.

[bell rings]

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low on my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪



♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Every 16-year-old guy
dreams about two things.

That's one.

The car I don't have
is the other.

But I'm working on it.

Zack, come here.
Here's one.

"A 1985 red Ferrari convertible.

Mint condition."

Hey, only $185,000.

I don't have $185,000.



Oh, I know that.
You have to talk them down.

How much money have
you really got, Preppie?

Well, when I get my $10
allowance on Saturday,

I'll still owe my dad 11.

Ask your dad for a raise.

Or get 20,000 more fathers.

There's this maniac named
Jessie right behind me.

Whatever you do, don't
mention the yearbook.

Why?

She hasn't come up
with a theme yet,

and she's freaking out.

Shh.

Hey, mama, I got your favorite--

French fries with mayonnaise.

I couldn't eat a thing.

I'm totally stressed
about the yearbook.

Shh! Don't mention
the yearbook!

I'm in charge of the yearbook,

and Belding wants me
to make it great.

I thought you weren't hungry.

I'm not.

I'm serious.
Last year's was awful.

I bought one when
I first got here.

Had to scope out
the babe situation.

You are so shallow.

You can't judge a person
by a picture of their face.

You're right. I couldn't
even see their legs.

This is a real turkey.

Do you have any gravy?

OK, hotshot, you'll have an
opportunity to make it better

at today's yearbook meeting.

You're on the
yearbook committee?

So where we're headed is--

Sorry I'm late. Just
pretend I'm not here.

Zack, if you want credit
for this committee,

you are going to
have to participate.

Last year there were
a few unsold yearbooks.

A few?

Kids transferred so they
wouldn't have to buy one.

That's why this yearbook
has to be the best ever.

Wouldn't take much.

We need an idea that
will make this puppy sell.

Any suggestions?

Let's use holograms.

Everyone's picture will
just leap right off the page.

Ollie, isn't that
a little expensive?

Moose, how about you?

Uh... I'm fine.

How are you?

No, no. The yearbook.

OK. I'll buy one.

Sandy?

Sandy!

Will you turn that music off?

It's not music.
It's a book on tape.

A real classic, dude.

I mean sir dude.

"The Little Engine
That Could," part two.

Books on tape.

Doesn't anyone read anymore?

No. I suggest not having
a yearbook at all.

Oh, brilliant. I knew I
could count on you.

No, really.
A video yearbook.

Hey, I love it.

It's so... now.

Like I said, I knew I
could count on you.

Hey, no sweat.

I'll inform your teachers
you'll be missing some classes.

- Miss classes?
- Miss classes?

Miss classes?

Then I withdraw my offer.

I'm here to learn.

Mr. Belding,
honored committee members,

I will make
the ultimate sacrifice.

I will shoot the video yearbook.

Ready? This is
your video profile.

Hey, I was born ready.

Right.

Lights.

Action.

Looks like he was born
camera-shy.

Figures.

What's your name?

Uh... my name?

My name is A.C. Slater.

Bet it feels good to
be football captain.

Oh. I bet it does.

Is there any message you'd
like to leave the graduating class?

Goodbye.

Cut.

I think we got enough.

I was a little nervous.
Could you tell?

You nervous? Nah.

Just send in the next victim.

Screech, this is great.

We shoot videos while
these suckers go to class.

Hi, Zack.
I'm proud of you.

This video yearbook
is excellent.

Thanks, Kelly.

Stand by the backdrop,
and we'll shoot your profile.

Go for it.

Hi. I'm Kelly Kapowski.

I'm the captain of
the girls' volleyball team,

softball team, and swim team.

I'm also head cheerleader.

B-a-y-s-i-d-e!

Go, Bayside! Whoo!

Now, who do you love?

I love you.

Cut. Perfect.

How about a movie Saturday?

Sure. My parents are going
out, so yours will have to drive.

You'll have a great time
double-dating with your parents.

Me next.

Do this one, Screech.

I got to see about
getting a car.

No problem-o.

Lisa, doll-face, go be
beautiful by the scenery.

I can't stand there.

That backdrop
clashes with my outfit.

Kill the attitude, sweetie.

Hello. My name
is Lisa Turtle.

I'm the founder of the fashion
team and the shopping squad.

My hobbies include dating,
guys, and dating guys.

And cut.

How was I?

Delightfully shallow.

And you're delightfully dorky.

Every guy will want to date her
when they see this.

Hey, Screech,

that's how we'll get
money for a car.

We'll make a video dating tape

and sell it to every
lonely guy in town.

Why would we want
lonely guys to date us?

No, you simp.

We'll make a dating tape
of pretty girls.

Oh. Now,
that makes sense.

That's right.

Next.

Like, hi.
My name is Liz Bass.

I, like, totally
love everything.

What's your idea
of a perfect guy?

Oh, my gosh.
All right.

I like a guy
that's, like, tall, dreamy,

and spends
all of his money on me.

Hey, Screech, this is great.

Yo. I'm Spike.

No teams, no clubs,
I hate school,

and I want to be a rocker.

♪♪

What's your idea
of a dream date?

Jon Bon Jovi
setting my hair on fire.

♪♪

Zack, she scares me.

All right. Just use
the best-looking girls.

Then add some music

and plaster their phone
numbers across the screen.

Got it.

Tomorrow we'll take
these tapes to high schools.

Remember, just
the prettiest girls.

Hey, I'm no dummy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, my... wow.

Do you have enough money yet?

No, but I will once we go to...

Woodlands High, Uni High,

hey, Grant High,

and St. Murray's
Reform School.

They haven't seen
a girl in years.

When the 20th guy called,

I smashed the telephone
with my guitar.

Pretty cool feedback, actually.

It's so totally rad.

I must have been asked
out by every dude in L.A.

See? The tape
really works.

The girls are getting calls.

I don't know. I kind
of feel slimebally.

Yeah.
Isn't it great?

Maybe I'll test drive
a Corvette this afternoon.

What are you looking at?

Your tongue must be the
strongest muscle in your body.

Excuse me?

Your phone was busy for
over 3 hours last night.

Was it Save The Whales
pledge week?

I got a lot of calls from total
strangers who want to date me.

Just how many total
strangers are we talking about?

I don't know.
15, 20.

You talked to all of them,
Miss Love The World?

I can speak to
whomever I choose.

Look...

The Max,

where Bayside's elite
have good times

and bad burgers.

There's the football
team captain

and student body president
having a romantic lunch.

Shut up!

Oh, gosh, what
a surprise, Screech.

They're fighting as usual.

This jughead thinks he owns me.

No, I don't.

I just don't want you
going out with 50 guys.

I am not going out with them.

I don't even know them.
They just called.

Yeah, right.

Excuse us.

You put Jessie on the video?

Yeah.
She is a girl.

Who else is on it?

So, Friday I have
a date with Wayne.

Saturday I'm going out
with Garth,

only because he begged.

Sunday I have a day date
and a night date

with guys whose schools
I've never even heard of.

Tell me you didn't.

I got so many calls,
I had to unplug my phone.

You know there's a St.
Murray's Reform School?

You're dead.

Zack, how's the
yearbook coming along?

Mr. Belding
wants to see it.

It's going great.
We're almost finished.

We're going to work on it now.

I thought I was dead.

Move it now.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...

Let go! Let go!

You're the dumbest
human being on earth.

You hired me.
What does that make you?

Just put the tape in.

The dating tape
or yearbook tape?

The dating tape.

Hi. I'm Kelly Kapowski.
I'm proud...

[Screech]
To be your date.

Call her 'cause she's the...

Head cheerleader.

555-4314. Call Kelly.

Kelly wants you
to call today because...

I love you.

Pretty good, huh?

We want a sneak
preview of the yearbook.

Well, we're still working on it.

Show us what you got.

I can't wait to see
what I look like.

Fine. Here.

Here, enjoy.
We've got work to do.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...

I thought we were done.
What's left to shoot?

You, if we can't stop
guys from calling Kelly.

Zack, when can I see that video?

Which video?

The yearbook video, of course.

I thought he meant--

Jessie's watching it
in the yearbook room.

- Great. Carry on.
- All right.

Come here.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Oh, hi.
I'm Jessica Spano.

This video's a first at Bayside,

and, as student body president,
I'm excited--

[Screech] About going out
with you. Just a phone call away.

They call her legs,
and you can, too.

I have seen enough.

I haven't. I want
to see mine again.

Lisa, Zack Morris exploited you

and every girl at Bayside.

That's wrong.

But I got a lot of dates.

He probably made a
fortune selling these videos.

He's making money off me?

Now, that's wrong.

Let's kill him.

Let's tear him
into little pieces.

Then take those little
pieces and expel them.

Wait a second.

Aren't you coming?

You should be even madder.

Oh, I'm furious.

But killing Zack isn't the answer.

He'll just do it again.

You have a better idea?

You don't date Zack Morris
without learning some tricks.

Let's teach him a
lesson he won't forget.

- OK.
- Yeah.

We need to stop those guys
from calling Kelly.

Why don't we take
all her phones?

Why don't you go make
a hungry shark happy?

I sense anger in you.

There you are, Zack.

We've got to talk.

Yikes!

Talk? Uh, about what?

I'm so ticked off!

Somebody gave out
Jessie's phone number

and told everybody
she's available.

Oh. Who would do
something that stupid?

I don't know,
but when I find this guy,

I'm just going to slam him
against the wall.

And I'm going to slap him silly!

Then you know what
I'm going to do?

Take some pliers

and pluck out
all his little nose hairs.

Ow!

What's wrong with you, Screech?

Wrong? With me?
Oh, nothing.

Ne-never been better.

Slater, aren't you overreacting?

Zack, this guy's giving
out Kelly's number, too.

How come you're not mad?

Oh, he was.
I mean he is.

I mean he will be.

I just don't think
violence is the answer.

This whole thing could be
a misunderstanding.

Yeah, well, he won't
misunderstand this.

Do you think he's bluffing?

I wonder how much Zack's making.

You can bet it's
enough to buy a car.

He'll be driving me to
school for the rest of his life.

Shh! Here he comes.

Hi, girls.
How you doing?

Don't ask.

Terrible.

Why?
What's wrong?

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

I'll tell you what's wrong.

Whoever gave out
our phone numbers

is completely
messing up our lives.

I thought you were happy
because you got dates.

I got so many calls,
my father took my phones.

I'm sorry. Jessie, you
still getting calls, too?

No, they've stopped.

Is everything ok with Slater?

No. He dumped me.
He's gone berserk.

He's beating up every guy
he thinks likes me.

Hey! What happened
to you guys?

Slater thought we were
hitting on Jessie,

so he starts hitting on us.

I have incredible pain, too.

[bell rings]

Screech! Did Slater
do that to you?

No. These are fakes.

That way, Slater
will think he got me.

Put one on.
You'll be safer.

Attention, Zack Morris,

this is your principal
Mr. Belding.

Please report to my office
immediately.

At least Slater
won't find me in there.

[knock on door]

Come in.

You wanted to see me?

The board wants to see
the yearbook tonight,

so I'll need a
finished copy by 3:00.

3:00? But, sir--

Sir! What happened
to your eye?

I had an unfortunate incident
with Slater this morning.

The boy's out of control.

[intercom buzzes]

Yes?

Mr. Belding, Kelly Kapowski
and Vince Montana are here.

Vince Montana?

Send them in. Just
take a second, Zack.

What do you want?

Kelly, what are you doing?

The same thing
she was doing in class.

They've been caught
making out all over school,

and he doesn't go here.

Kelly, you're my girlfriend.

I meant to talk
to you about that.

Vince called me.
You've been replaced.

Who's the dweeb?

Just some old mistake.

I don't believe it.

Get your hands off her!

There you are, Zack.

I've been looking
all over for you.

Time out!

Man, this is horrible.

I just meant to get a car.

If I don't get out of this,

my life at Bayside is over.

Time in.

Ooh! Oh!
Mr. Belding, I'm sorry.

Hey, guys.
What's up?

Zack invited us all
to be here at 3:00.

He's not here, and there's
no hors d'oeuvres.

What kind of party is this?

The way he disappeared
from your office, Mr. B,

I'll be surprised if he
shows his face again.

Screech, where's Zack?

I think I'm supposed to
play this for everybody.

What makes you think that?

It says, "play it
for everybody."

Hi. I'm Zack Morris,

sole member
of the slimeball team.

I guess you know about
the video dating tape.

I'm sorry.

I never meant to hurt anybody.

Kelly, you were right
to dump me.

I don't deserve to have you
as my girlfriend,

but then, neither does Vince.

Screech.

The friendship ring I gave him.

Give her a tissue.

OK, Zack.

Ahem.

Jessie, Mr. Belding,

you trusted me to produce
Bayside's video yearbook.

What were we thinking?

What were you thinking?

I'm sorry I betrayed your trust,

but I finished the yearbook.

As far as sales are concerned,

I used the money
from the dating tapes

to buy video yearbooks
for the whole school.

Don't worry, Screech.

They'll be delivered
Monday morning.

I thought I lost them.

I'm sorry for messing up
your lives,

but you'll never see me again

'cause I'm going
to a military school.

Goodbye forever.

I can't believe it!
He's finally gone!

It's like a dream come true.

Free at last.

Yeah! All right! Whoo!

I can't believe you guys!

It's not like it's the worst
thing I've ever done.

I said I'm sorry.
Even got you yearbooks.

What do you want?

[all]
Gotcha!