Saved by the Bell (1989–1992): Season 3, Episode 23 - Cut Day - full transcript

The gang is out of school on Cut Day. But Zack's nine unexcused absences will get him suspended if he goes too. Nevertheless, he makes a bet with Slater that he can cut all classes during the day. Meanwhile, Slater and Kelly have fun together, while Jessie, the only other senior at the school, enjoys being with student council member Graham, who stages a one-man protest over the use of Styrofoam cups.

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low in my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪



♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

The student council meeting
is now in session.

Zack, what's the first
order of business?

Well, we have
a very exciting petition

signed by four nerds,
two dorks and a dweeb.

I'm the dweeb.

Everybody knows that, Franklin.

We want Thursday to be
an official day of mourning.

Franklin's right.
25 years ago next Thursday,

they canceled
"Gilligan's Island."



Somebody should cancel you.

Any other new business?

I think Graham
has to go to the bathroom.

Yes, Graham?

I'd like to introduce all of you
to Public Enemy #1.

Hey, he's right here.

The plastic foam cup.

Every time we use one of these
in our school we pollute our planet,

because plastic foam cups
are not biodegradable.

He's right, we need to talk
to the administration.

No, we need to stop tomorrow's
delivery of plastic foam cups.

No one's gonna be here.
It's "Cut Day," remember?

It's the only reason
I go to school.

Zack, we need
to save the planet.

A planet without Cut Day
isn't worth saving.

Zack: Bravo!

All right, everybody, I have
an important announcement to make.

I know that tomorrow is Cut Day.

- Thanks for reminding us, sir.
- Stop by again next year.

See ya.

Now there's nothing
I can do to stop you,

but anyone who does cut
will get an unexcused absence,

and... 10 unexcused absences
means suspension.

And somebody here
already has nine.

Come on, sir. You can't expect me
to be here on Cut Day.

Oh, yes I can. I'm going
to check on you all day long.

If you're not here,
you're suspended.

Sense of impending doom.

What do you think, Lisa?
A little less on the sides,

maybe straighten
my curls on top?

- What are you talking about, Screech?
- Well, tomorrow's Cut Day.

You don't get a haircut
on Cut Day, you doofus.

You cut school
and go to the beach.

How come nobody
told me this last year?

I blew the whole day
at the barbershop.

What?

This is going to be
the best Cut Day ever, Mama.

First we'll start at The Max
and after that--

Hold it, Slater. I want
to stay in school tomorrow.

What?
You out of your mind?

I want to guarantee the survival
of the Earth's environment.

- Can't that wait till Monday?
- There's a plastic foam protest

tomorrow and I intend
to be part of it.

Oh, well. Have fun. I'll be at the beach
with my plastic foam boogie board.

- How can you be so irresponsible?
- Jessie, lighten up.

Missing one protest isn't going
to put the Earth on the critical list.

You know everything about
the environment, except how to enjoy it.

If you don't do something about it now,
there won't be anything left to enjoy.

Graham, I thought what
you said this morning was great.

Wait till you see me tomorrow,
even if I have to protest alone.

Oh, you won't be alone.
I'll be here protesting with you.

Really? That's great.
Two people can make a difference.

All you need is a spark
to start a fire. I'll see ya.

Okay.

While you and Graham are out
toasting marshmallows,

I'll be having fun
with Kelly and Zack.

Correction. Zack is going
to be here with me.

You? Marching
for the environment?

His idea of recycling
is trading blondes for brunettes.

No, I'm not marching, Slater.

Belding said if he cuts
once more, he's suspended.

Aw. Pretty poor Preppie.
I'll send you a postcard.

Hey, the King of Cut Day
will find a way out.

Your folks will kill you
if you get suspended.

Give it up, guy. You're spending
Cut Day here at Bayside.

Yeah? All right.

100 bucks says I'll find a way out
and spend Cut Day with you.

You're on.

All right, let's call the roll.

Adams?

Applegate?

Baker?

Barnett?

Who cares?

Where did we
leave off yesterday?

We were discussing the obvious
benefits of a female president.

She's long overdue.

Yup, just like a woman.
Always late.

It's about time the United States
caught up with the rest of the world.

They've had
Margaret Thatcher in England,

Indira Gandhi in India--
Golda Meir in Israel.

- What?
- Oh-- nothing.

I didn't know there was a male brain
capable of that kind of thinking.

Excuse me, Mrs. Carpenter.
I just want to make sure

that one of your students is--
Well, good morning, Zack.

Yes, that's easy for you to say, sir.
They pay you to be here.

I have to go now, but I'll be
checking on you later, Zack.

- You can count on it.
- Zack: Okay.

- You're out 100 bucks.
- I wouldn't be too sure, Jessie.

Zack Morris to the library.

You owe $86 in overdue books

and the librarian is shouting
in a whisper for her money.

All right, Zack.
You'd better go.

See what happens when you don't
cut school? You get in trouble.

Screech: Come on, 'gator.
You're mine!

- Take that and that!
- Let me have a turn!

This is a man's job, Lisa.
Take that!

Back in your swamp!

- (game beeps)
- I got 'em all.

No, you missed one.

Ow.

I don't think you
understand the rules.

Now just let the stick
slide through your fingers, okay?

Keep it straight
and follow through.

- Go ahead.
- Okay.

- You got it.
- Bull's-eye!

You're a terrific teacher,
Slater.

You and Jessie
must have a blast together.

You kidding?
I tried to teach her horseshoes

and she said it was
cruelty to animals.

- Come on, let's try this one.
- Okay.

You want to take a turn?

Oh, no. That's all right.
I enjoy teaching.

All right! This has been
the best Cut Day yet.

And the most profitable.

I feel like I've already got
Zack's 100 bucks in my pocket.

- You better check that pocket again.
- Both: Zack?

- Hey, how'd you get out?
- I had a friend come and get me.

Remember, you promised to help
support my "Mr. Ed" resolution.

Yes, you have my word, Franklin.

Give me my money now, so I can head
back to class before Belding catches me.

Time out. Wait a second.
This is Cut Day not Cut Class.

You don't win the bet
unless you show up

everywhere we go, all day long.

You want me to sneak out
of every single class?

If you can't do it, Preppie,
then I guess you lose.

- Just give me my money now.
- No way.

The bet's still on
and you're gonna lose.

Wherever you go, I'll be there.

All right.
Come on, let's go.

10, nine-- I knew he'd cut.

I know Zack Morris
like the back of my hand.

Five, four,

three, two...

Mr. Belding!
What a pleasant surprise.

- What brings you to study hall?
- Don't get cocky, Zack.

- I've got my eye on you.
- Sorry, sir, you're not my type.

(bell rings)

Okay, nobody's here. Free period.
Do whatever you want.

You were gone a long time.

They must have put it
to you at the library.

Oh, get real.
I was at The Max.

- You cut? How'd you get--
- Huh-uh-uh.

A great magician
never reveals his secrets.

Now, I've got to figure out
my next disappearing act.

I gotta paint signs
for the rally.

Oh, great idea.
Can I help?

Sure. How are you
at slogans?

Oh, my specialty.
How's this one?

"Plastic Foam:
the Choice of Idiots."

Maybe just a wee bit
too intense.

Mr. Maloney,
can I go to the bathroom?

Aw.

All right. Thanks.

Okay, let's see what we got.
"Drink Now, Die Later."

"Go Home Plastic Foam"...

This one's my favorite.

"It's Time to Wake Up;
Drink From a Paper Cup."

Protest poetry, I love it.

Why are you so happy?

Well, I did a little
painting of my own.

Oh, tell me he skipped ou--

Woman over PA: Mr. Belding,
your car is being towed.

You parked it in a red zone.

What? I did not park
in a red zone!

Guess who painted the curb.

(suspenseful music playing)

Want some imported chocolates?

- Where are they from?
- Afghanistan.

They make the best chocolate-covered
grasshoppers in the world.

- Grasshoppers!
- (gags)

How about a beetle?

Oh, look a wing.

You know, Kelly, I am
really glad we came here.

Jessie wouldn't go to this kind
of flick in a million years.

I love a good scare. I saw
"Revenge of the Zombie Headhunters"

- seven times.
- I really wanted to see that one,

but Jessie wouldn't go
because I couldn't convince her

that zombie headhunters
were feminists.

(both groan)

Uh oh.
The creature's starting to ooze.

(creature howls)

(Screech screams)

- Look what you did, Screech.
- Hey, don't complain.

You got all the ones
with butter.

(screams)

- Screech!
- Shh!

Hush. It's me.

- What's going on here?
- The monster just ate Burbank.

No, I mean between
Kelly and Slater.

He didn't eat them, Zack.
They're fine.

- (clears throat)
- Zack.

It was a really
scary moment in the movie.

Uh-huh. Well, this is
a scary moment for you, Slater.

I got out again.
You're gonna lose.

Well, don't be so sure, Preppie.
You never know what'll happen.

(growls)

No, I guess you never do.

The delivery person
will be here any minute,

so we have to block
the hall by ourselves.

We can do it. It's not
how many of us there are,

it's how much we believe.

I've never met
anyone else quite like you.

- Is that a compliment?
- Yeah, you bet it is.

Hi, guys.
(sighs)

Ah ha!
Ha ha ha!

This time I caught you.
What do you think you're doing?

- Uh... what am I doing?
- Uh-huh.

Um...

I'm exercising my right to protest.
Yes! Power to the people!

- Right on! Go team, go!
- Graham: Hey, there he is!

Both: One, two, three, four,
don't use plastic foam no more!

Yeah! Five, six, seven, eight...

nine, 10, 11, 12!

All right. You have
made your point.

Now, let the man
make his delivery.

Mr. Belding, don't you
care about our future?

I care about running
an orderly school.

If you don't want plastic foam,

then present a petition
to the school board.

Now go to class before I present
all three of you with detention.

Zack: Hey.

Ah!

- Hey, Jessie--
- Graham, we failed.

No, we didn't. If we
convinced even one person

then we succeeded.
Right, Zack?

Graham, you failed.

When you try and save the world
and people don't even care--

You start to think
what's the use?

You really understand
how I feel, don't you?

Yeah, I do, 'cause I feel
the same way.

But I keep trying.

What a Cut Day.
Some people are ditching classes;

some people
are ditching each other.

(rock music playing)

You're really
a hot dancer, Slater.

Oh, thanks.
So are you.

- But your shoulders are too hot.
- What?

They're burning up. Come here let me
put some lotion on them.

Oh, thanks.

You know, Kelly, this is
a new experience for me,

spending the whole day with a girl
and not getting into a fight.

This is the most fun
I've had in a long time.

Lisa, my shoulders
are getting red too.

Could you put some
lotion on them?

Why don't I bury you in the sand,
then the sun won't bother you?

That's a terrific idea.

- Sure you won't mind?
- I won't mind a bit.

Just wish I had a bulldozer.

Hey, everybody!
Let's party!

- All right!
- Yeah!

I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

Why are you dressed like that?

Let's just say,
Ernie the custodian,

well, he's wearing a blond wig

and he's taking my French test.

Gee, Zack, I knew you'd show up.

I saved my last box of
chocolate-covered grasshoppers for you.

- You're my hero.
- Thanks, Screech.

I'll, uh...
gosh, I'll eat 'em later.

It's not smart to swim
on a full stomach.

- You're right. Safety first.
- Yup.

All right, Lisa.
You can bury me now.

With pleasure.

So, bud, getting ready
to pay up?

It's not over yet, bud.

You still have to show up
at The Max during last period.

That's no problem. I have
Mrs. Culpepper last period.

A herd of elephants
could sneak out of her class.

I better go get us some drinks
while I still have some cash.

I'll be right back.

So, looks like you've
been enjoying Cut Day.

I really have.
That's the problem.

Why? You're supposed
to have fun on Cut Day.

But not this much fun. I mean,
not with my best friend's boyfriend.

When I think of poor Jessie
stuck in school,

while I'm at the beach
having a great time with Slater...

I wouldn't feel too sorry
for poor Jessie.

Come on, Zack.
If the situation was reversed,

can you imagine Jessie
getting closer to another guy?

Well, you know,
if I really force myself,

I think I could.

- Here you go, Kelly.
- Thanks.

- Zack.
- Thanks.

- Here you go, Lisa.
- Thanks.

- You want some soda, Screech?
- Screech: Thanks.

(belches)

Hi, Mrs. Culpepper.

Oh, good afternoon, Zack.

This is too easy.

I am touched that everyone
showed up on Cut Day.

Now, let's travel to Africa.

Nigeria is here.

Next to Las Vegas?

I wouldn't bet on it.

Mrs. Culpepper!
Mrs. Culpepper, congratulations!

We just received this telegram.

You have won
$2 million in the lottery.

Oh!

- I'm so happy for you.
- Oh, I don't care what you think.

Good riddance to you
and my lousy salary.

I'm out of here.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Did Mrs. Culpepper
get my telegram yet, Preppie?

Slater.
What are you up to?

You'll see,
'cause if I know Belding...

All right,
put that phone away, Zack.

You are finishing the day
right here at school

and I am staying here with you,
to keep you company.

The rest of you may go.

Gotcha, Preppie.

This does not look good.

You know, Zack, I will be glad
when this day is over.

I've been so busy keeping an eye
on you I forgot to have lunch.

Thank you, Lord.

Sir, I happen to have
some candy here.

Would you like a piece?

That is very thoughtful.
Thank you, Zack.

Yes, I would like some.

Oh, thank you.

Mmm... good.

Yeah, they're imported.

- It's crunchy.
- Yeah.

But it doesn't really taste
like nuts. What is it, exactly?

It's chocolate-covered
grasshoppers.

(laughs)

(gulps)

And the crunchy part's
the thorax. (laughs)

- Have you seen Belding?
- He just ran by here in a panic.

- What's wrong?
- He has a stomach bug.

- Off to The Max. Bye.
- We'll see you there.

Okay. Not okay!

If Jessie sees Slater with Kelly
and Slater sees Jessie with Graham,

Cut Day becomes Kill Day.

Um-- Jessie, you can't
go to The Max right now.

Why not?

Because you guys were
gonna save the world today.

We tried. Now we're gonna
take the rest of the day off.

Why don't you go to the beach?
It's sunnier than The Max.

Too much sun
is bad for you, Zack.

Stay out of this, paleface.

- Let's go, Jess.
- No, no! Jessie, Jessie!

- You don't understand--
- Zack Morris!

Trying to cut
at the last minute, huh?

Sir, you misjudge me.

I was just coming to see if you
were all right. I was concerned.

Whoa-- oh, no.

I appreciate your concern.
I'm all right now.

I'm just a little weak.

Then you should eat, sir. Would you
like another piece of candy?

- (groans)
- No, don't worry.

It's not chocolate
and it's no grasshopper.

All right, thanks, Zack.
Thanks.

- Hard to get, huh?
- I got it, thank you.

- Mmm.
- Mmm. Yeah.

- This is great!
- Yeah?

- What is it?
- Well, it's a caramel caterpillar.

Have another?

Hope I can beat
Jessie to The Max.

At the tone the time
will be-- beep-- 3:30.

Zack owes me 100 smackers.

- Yo, Slater!
- Too late, Preppie.

- Is Jessie already here?
- Jessie?

What's Jessie got to do with it?
You just lost a bet.

Let's go to the bank right now
and get your money.

What's the rush?

- (Jessie laughing)
- Jessie?

- Slater?
- Hi.

Hi. I think
we need to talk.

- Yeah, maybe we do.
- Oh, no you don't!

Come on, everybody, let's dance.
Slater you can dance with me.

- Let's sit here.
- (Zack groans)

Brace yourself, guys.
You're about to see some fireworks.

Look, Slater, we went the whole day
without seeing each other.

I don't know how you feel,

but I enjoyed spending time
with someone else.

- You mean Graham?
- Yes.

Look, it's been great going steady,
but we do fight a lot.

Maybe it would be better if we
started to see other people.

Yeah, that is a good idea.

- Now, don't take this too hard.
- I'm not.

Time will heal your pain.

No, Jessie, I think seeing
other people is a great idea.

- What?
- I feel the same way you do.

In fact, I had a great time
with Kelly today.

Kelly! You cheated
on me with my friend?

I told you. Here it comes.
"Feminist eats Tokyo."

Look, I didn't cheat on you.
I just had a fun day

with a girl without arguing.

Why don't you just keep
going out with other girls?

I will-- and you'll go out
with other guys.

We already said that, remember?
Come on, it was your idea.

Look, they're laughing together.

I've never seen that before.

Man, I thought they were going
to tear each other's eyes out.

Come on, Zack, that only
happens in zombie movies.

Guys, we want you
to be the first to know.

Slater and I have decided
to date other people.

But you were
so happy together...

every now and then.

Don't worry. Jessie and I
are still gonna go out...

whenever we feel
the need for a good fight.

(instrumental theme music plays)