Saved by the Bell (1989–1992): Season 2, Episode 17 - Breaking Up Is Hard to Undo - full transcript

(bell rings)

♪ When I wake up in the morning
and the alarm gives out a warning ♪

♪ I don't think I'll ever
make it on time ♪

♪ By the time I grab my books
and I give myself a look ♪

♪ I'm at the corner just in time
to see the bus fly by ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

♪ If the teacher pops a test
I know I'm in a mess ♪

♪ And my dog ate
all my homework last night ♪

♪ Ridin' low in my chair,
she won't know that I'm there ♪

♪ If I can hand it in tomorrow
it will be all right ♪



♪ It's all right ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm saved by the bell... ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right, 'cause I'm saved
by the-- ♪

♪ It's all right,
'cause I'm saved by the bell ♪

Kelly, do you realize
we've been going steady for 68 days,

14 hours and 37 minutes?

38 minutes, Zack,
but then again, who's counting?

Do you like this shake, Slater?

I like it when you shake, Mama.

And I can't wait
for the next earthquake.

Slater, you're making me blush.

If I really wanted to make you
blush, I'd call you--

Don't you dare.



Honey lips.

Who are you guys trying to kid?
You've been going out since the prom.

Everybody knows it.
Why don't you make it official?

Slater and I feel that being stuck
in a monogamous relationship

is restrictive and possessive.

Yeah, what she said.

Me too.

I like a touch of a familiar hand,

the secure feeling of being
with someone I know and trust,

and those beautiful hazel eyes.

It's a dirty rotten job,
but someone's got to do it.

Let me tell you, these beautiful
hazel eyes are late for geometry.

- Let's go.
- Bye, guys.

- See you guys later.
- See ya.

Did you really agree with
what I said about relationships?

Yeah, in fact, why waste
any more time with you

when I could be off
meeting Miss Right?

That's Ms. Right, bubba,
and I'm right here.

Lisa: Wait a minute.
Is the gossip really true?

You and Slater are,
dare I say the word, a couple?

Well, yeah, kinda sorta.

Did you hear the news?
Jessie and Slater are a couple.

A couple of what?

Screech, they're in love.
Stop and smell the roses.

I smelled the roses once
and a bee flew up my nose.

Why don't you guys celebrate
this Saturday night?

- Are you available, Mama?
- Anytime for you.

- Let's decide where we want to go.
- (bell ringing)

- Okay, let's go.
- Bye, guys.

- Hi, Kelly.
- Hi.

Saturday's our 10-week anniversary.
Let's do something special.

I'd love to,
but Todd Winfield's visiting.

- Your ex-boyfriend Todd Winfield?
- I promised I'd go to dinner with him.

- You want to go out with him?
- No, it's not a date, he's my friend.

Right, a friend who drives
a Ferrari and look like Mel Gibson.

Zack, you're being jealous
about nothing.

Jealous? Who's jealous?
Go ahead, marry him.

Have lots of kids.
See if I care.

What?
Todd Winfield's going out with Kelly?

- What about Zack?
- I think Todd likes Kelly better.

Hey, guys, what's up?
Is Jessie here yet?

No, but thank goodness you're here,
this dink is frying my brain.

What else is new?

That's what I want to know, where are
you taking Jessie Saturday night?

You are taking her out,
aren't you?

Yes, I'm taking her out, Lisa.
And no, I'm not telling you where.

- You mind if I tell Jessie first?
- Yes, I do.

I'm the school gossip,
and the public has a right to know.

I've got our entire evening
planned for Saturday.

You do? So do I.
All right, you go first.

We begin with a romantic dinner
at Cafe Diane

and then on to the ballet.

Ballet?

Come on, Jessie, get real.

You know how hard it was for me
to get these L.A. Raider tickets?

Football? There's nothing romantic
about a bunch of barbarians

kicking each other's butts.

Oh, yeah? What's romantic
about a guy in pink tights

tippy-toeing around
pretending to be a swan?

I should have known better
than to go steady with a sexist pig!

Oink, oink, baby.
And if you don't like it,

go steady with some other pig.

Maybe I will!
Goodbye!

Can you believe her?

Does anybody know
what just happened here?

I not sure, but I'll bet it ruins
their date Saturday night.

Hi, guys.

Kelly, can we talk?

Kelly...

I've given this
a lot of thought--

and I don't want you
going out with Todd Winfield.

Zack, he's my friend. You can't
tell me who to be friends with.

Either you cancel
the date or else...

Or else what, Zack?

Or else we stop
seeing each other.

You don't mean that.

Yes, I do.

Well...

if that's how you feel, okay.

- Good, I'm glad that's settled.
- Good, here's your ring back! Goodbye!

Oo-ooh, first Jessie, now Kelly.
My phone's gonna be busy tonight.

- Any new business?
- Yes, as council president,

I move we rescind last week's
resolution to buy new uniforms.

I second that.

Wait! You can't rescind
a resolution like that.

- We need those uniforms.
- Too late, and we don't need them.

This school needs
a dance department.

- Great idea, I second that motion.
- All in favor?

- Girls: Aye.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute...

that's a terrible idea.
All opposed?

- Nay!
- Guys: Nay!

Oh, no, no, no, no,
you've got the wrong animal.

Horses say nay, pigs say oink.

- Let me tell you something--
- Let me-- no.

- (arguing)
- Order! I want order!

Orrrrrr-der!

Look, I broke my gavel.

- What's all this fighting about?
- (arguing)

Whoa! Whhhh-oaaaa-oh!

One at a time. Zack, you first,
and I want the truth.

Huh!

- The truth is, Kelly's cheating on me.
- I am not.

What do you call
dinner with Todd Winfield?

A meal with another human being.
I do it all the time.

- She admits it.
- Hold it.

What does any of this
have to do with Jessie and Slater?

Okay, I'll tell you Mr. Belding,
Slater is a pig.

Mr. B, in her warped little mind,

everything I do is chauvinistic
just because I'm a guy.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
just because you are you, meathead.

Who you calling
a meathead, skinny lips?

Meathead? Skinny lips?

When you young men and women mature
you will learn that "relationships"

are an exercise
in understanding,

- trust, and compromise.
- (intercom buzzes)

Yes?

Put her on.

It's my wife.
Listen to how we communicate.

Yes, dear.

I know, dear.

But, dear, I thought
that we compromised

and agreed that your mother
would stay at the hotel

and I'd pay anything.

Too bad if she doesn't like it,
we agreed.

No, she doesn't get a vote!

Becky, don't do this.

It's my house too,
you can't lock me out--

Becky?

Well, that's just perfect.

Where was I?

Understanding, trust,
and compromise in "relationships."

Right.

Jessie, it's time you stopped
bullying poor, defenseless Slater

and tried understanding
his needs.

And Kelly, stop leading young Zack on.
Think of his feelings.

- Slater's needs?
- Zack's feelings?

What about us?
Don't our feelings and needs matter?

- Obviously not, let's go.
- (both scoff)

Screech, when I first met Becky,

she was a sophomore,
I was a senior.

I didn't know you were Spanish.

No, Screech, a senior classman.

The Max was
an Italian place then.

We shared a plate of rigatoni
and fell in love.

That's nice.

But I prefer linguini.
See you later.

Oh, what's the use?

15 years of marriage
just down the drain.

Cheer up, Mr. B.

It's like I say, when elephants fight
only the grass suffers.

Well, adiós, senior.

- Whoa, Screech, that's it.
- What's it?

What you said about elephants
reminded me of my mother-in-law.

I refuse to allow her
to live in my house.

I'll go tell her, sir. Bye.

Oh, Screech,
you careless little chap.

You know what?
I wish I had some place to go.

Not as much as I do.

So... who do you think
will call first?

- Kelly or Jessie?
- They won't call.

They'll write or send flowers.

- (knocks on door)
- Hey, like I always say,

the best way to say
"I love you" is in person.

I love you.

I love you too, Zack,
but only as a friend.

- Hey.
- Mr. Belding?

- What is he doing here?
- He followed me, Zack.

I tried to lose him.
He's pretty quick for an old guy.

Men, it's important that we stick together
during times like these.

As long as we have each other,
we can cope. Let's bond.

We were sort of hoping
to bond with Kelly and Jessie, sir.

- We kind of miss 'em.
- Miss 'em? Phooey.

Men don't need women,
women need men, it's in their genes.

We really miss the way
they look in those jeans.

Be strong, Slater.
Resist temptation.

Zack, nice room.

Brings back fond memories
of my youth.

Hey! We can tough out
this crisis in here if necessary.

Wait, do you mean we
as in us and you?

I can't stand seeing
my friends so unhappy.

You guys, why not
forgive and forget?

I'd rather be short
and fat with bad hair.

I do miss Zack, but I don't
understand why he gets so jealous.

Because he's a guy.

See that girl over there?

Gorgeous, great personality.

Kelly, how would you feel if
she and Zack were "just friends"

having dinner together?

I'd kill him.

And you, "honey lips,"
why don't you give Slater a break?

He happens to be a very sensitive guy
when he isn't knocking people down.

Maybe you're right, I have been
narrow-minded and prejudiced.

And don't forget bullheaded.

But I'm gonna swallow your pride for you
and tell the guys you wanna make up.

Isn't that surrendering?

They're the ones
who should swallow their pride.

You should swallow your tongue.

Your big mouth has gotten
you into enough trouble.

Thanks for buying the pizzas,
Mr. Belding.

Hey, guys take care of guys,
and what are we?

All: Guys!

Oh, Slater,
this must be your pizza.

It has "I hate Jessie"
spelled out in anchovies.

This is fun.
Let's do our man cheer.

- One, two, three--
- (all belch)

(knocks)

Zack, I've got--

Mr. Belding,
what are you doing here?

Bonding with my boys.

Oh, okay.
You guys, I've got great news.

- Jessie and Kelly wanna make up.
- What?

- They do?
- Great.

All right, we won.

Ha, making up,
oldest trick in the book.

- What do you mean?
- Huddle.

- Mr. Belding, what are you doing?
- Don't we wanna make up with the girls?

Slater, you give in
to Jessie now,

and you're gonna be wearing a tutu
for the rest of your life.

Zack, you go
crawling back to Kelly

and you're gonna be best man
at Kelly and Todd's wedding.

What's the deal, fellas?
I ain't getting any younger.

Tell them, "Thanks,
but no thanks."

- Are you sure?
- Are we sure?

- Sure, we're sure.
- We're guys!

You're pathetic.

(alarm ringing)

Good morning, Zack.

No matter how hard you try,
you'll never forget me.

Forget you?
I don't even know your name, Kelly.

Gosh, she's pretty.

I've gotta be strong.

- Hi, cutie.
- Kelly, is that you again?

Of course it's me, Zack.
I've been waiting for you.

Kelly, I've been jealous,

but I love you.

Wear this shirt, Zack.
I love the way it looks on you.

Gosh, Kelly, I love the way
everything looks on you.

Come on, Zack,
just give me one little hug?

- ...437.
- Hey, Slater.

I think I'm losing it.

I know it sounds weird,
but I'm seeing Kelly's face everywhere.

I know what you mean, Jessie--

I mean, Zack.

I see Jessie's face
everywhere too.

I even kissed the dog
thinking it was her.

Ever kiss a bulldog
on the lips? Ouch!

Man, am I in trouble.

Listen to the message
on Kelly's answering machine --

Hi, if this is Zack,
I'm on my honeymoon with Todd.

- Oo-ooh.
- Pretty rough, huh?

You oughta hear Jessie's message --
"if this is Slater,

take a flying leap
into a toxic dump."

Let's face it, we should
never have listened to Mr. Belding.

You're right.
He's really messing up our lives.

- (overlapping dialogue)
- Mr. Belding, what are you doing here?

Hey, nice digs, huh?
This is my bachelor pad.

I got four showers, three stalls,
and all the towels I want.

At least you don't have to share
the school with your mother-in-law.

Yeah, and I won't
share my house either.

We gotta show our women
that we are men.

I think they know
that already, sir.

We are not giving up this fight.
What's the plan for tonight?

- Both: Tonight?
- I got a great idea.

How about tacos
and bowling, on me?

- (laughing)
- Time out.

My life is a nightmare.
We've gotta get out of bowling,

get rid of Belding,
and get our babes back.

And I've got a plan.

Hello, Palisades Florist?
I'd like to order two dozen roses:

one goes to Mr. Belding
in care of Bayside High School,

and the other
to Mrs. Becky Belding.

- You see these flowers?
- Flowers? They're beautiful.

- Lovely.
- Who might they be from?

My wife sent them.
She's caved in, boys.

She is begging me to come home.

And of course you're
not going, right, sir?

Well...

(whining)

not exactly.

What do you mean?
Don't you remember our cheer?

One, two, three, guys!

Guys...

Sir, are you weakening?

You're not abandoning us now,
are you, sir?

She needs me.
I'm her little whoopie-whoopie.

Read the card.

Wow, whoopie-whoopie.
This is some pretty heavy stuff.

Maybe you better go home
to snuggle bunny.

So you do understand?

- Sure, sure.
- Great!

Maybe we can have
our guys' night out next week.

Oh, no, no, no... you just
go home to Mrs. B, she needs you.

See ya.

Well, Slater,
at least we have each other.

Oh, Preppie,
don't you leave me too.

(kissing noise)

Jessie, what are you doing here?

I got this rose from Slater with a note
begging me to meet him here.

Wait, Zack sent me the same thing.
What's going on?

I don't know,
maybe we should sit down.

Look...

Good evening, ladies, and welcome to
the "What I Should Have Said" Theater.

Our first play stars
Jessie and Slater.

The time: three days ago.

I can't wait for Jessie to get here
so we can plan

how to celebrate
our going steady.

There she is now.

Oh, Jessie, you look great.

What I look like is not as important
as what I am, bubba.

Of course not.
What a chauvinistic fool I am.

I'm so lucky to have you
point that out to me everyday.

What do you have planned
for our celebration Saturday night?

Football tickets for the Raiders,
and they only cost me $100.

But I have tickets to the ballet.

Who wants to see a bunch of barbarians
kick each other's butt anyway?

You mean, you like the ballet?

Oh, what does this tell you?

Hi, Kelly.

H-I-Z-A-C-K, hi, Zack!

You know, Kelly, I've always
loved you in that cheerleading outfit.

It's a little tight. I think I have
my pantyhose on backwards.

How about celebrating
our anniversary

with dinner at the beach
Saturday night?

Oh, Zack, I can't.
My rich, good-looking ex-boyfriend

is flying in to have dinner
with M-E, me!

Oh, you mean, Todd Winfield?

Isn't it wonderful you're still friends
with him after all this time?

Don't you mind, Zack?

Why should I mind?
I trust you completely.

Oh, Zack,
you're so understanding.

I think I'm gonna cry.
(blows nose)

I'm sorry, Kelly.

Yeah, me too, Mama.
Will you forgive us?

After that, how could we not?

(crying)

What are you crying about?

I have to go to the bathroom
and I don't know which door to go into.

(instrumental
theme music playing)