Saturday Night Live (1975–…): Season 4, Episode 9 - Elliott Gould/Peter Tosh - full transcript

The host for the episode is Eliott Gould (his fourth appearance), and the musical guest is Peter Tosh. The skits for this episode are as follows: President Carter appears with his daughter Amy for an event on the White House lawn. Rovco presents their new all-flammable Christmas tree. The Widette family, who all have enormous backsides, prepare for dinner at home. During the Weekend Update, the reports include Beethoven's birthday, human rights abuses in Iran, and Cleveland's default, while Laraine Newman interviews the owner of Studio 54, Jane Curtain and Dan Aykroyd debate relations with China, and Roseanne Roseannadanna gives advice about beating depression during the holidays that ends up making Jane sick. An interviewer talks with a down-on-his-luck man who came to New York from Tacoma to help make his holiday better. Honker starts selling Christmas trees when the owner o the lot steps out for a minute. Peter Tosh performs "Don't Look Back" (with Mick Jagger) and "Bush Doctor".

Announcer: THE 28th ANNUAL
U.S.-TAIWAN TABLE TENNIS MATCH
WILL NOT BE SEEN TONIGHT SO THAT

U.S.-TAIWAN TABLE TENNIS MATCH
WILL NOT BE SEEN TONIGHT SO THAT
WE MAY BRING YOU THE FOLLOWING

WILL NOT BE SEEN TONIGHT SO THAT
WE MAY BRING YOU THE FOLLOWING
SPECIAL EVENT FROM THE

WE MAY BRING YOU THE FOLLOWING
SPECIAL EVENT FROM THE
WHITE HOUSE LAWN.

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GOOD EVENING.
MY FELLOW AMERICANS, THIS IS MY
FOURTH TIME ON TELEVISION THIS

MY FELLOW AMERICANS, THIS IS MY
FOURTH TIME ON TELEVISION THIS
WEEK.

FOURTH TIME ON TELEVISION THIS
WEEK.
ON WEDNESDAY, I LIT THE

WEEK.
ON WEDNESDAY, I LIT THE
WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS TREE.

ON WEDNESDAY, I LIT THE
WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS TREE.
ON THURSDAY, I WAS WITH

WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS TREE.
ON THURSDAY, I WAS WITH
BARBARA WALTERS.



ON THURSDAY, I WAS WITH
BARBARA WALTERS.
LAST NIGHT, I RECOGNIZED CHINA.

BARBARA WALTERS.
LAST NIGHT, I RECOGNIZED CHINA.
NOW HERE I AM AGAIN.

LAST NIGHT, I RECOGNIZED CHINA.
NOW HERE I AM AGAIN.
I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE MERV.

NOW HERE I AM AGAIN.
I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE MERV.
BUT SERIOUSLY, TONIGHT, I WANT

I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE MERV.
BUT SERIOUSLY, TONIGHT, I WANT
TO TALK ABOUT ONE OF OUR

BUT SERIOUSLY, TONIGHT, I WANT
TO TALK ABOUT ONE OF OUR
FAVORITE SUBJECTS... ENERGY.

TO TALK ABOUT ONE OF OUR
FAVORITE SUBJECTS... ENERGY.
YOU KNOW, MOST EXPERTS BELIEVE

FAVORITE SUBJECTS... ENERGY.
YOU KNOW, MOST EXPERTS BELIEVE
THAT WE HAVE ENOUGH FUEL TO LAST

YOU KNOW, MOST EXPERTS BELIEVE
THAT WE HAVE ENOUGH FUEL TO LAST
US THROUGH THE WINTER, ASSUMING

THAT WE HAVE ENOUGH FUEL TO LAST
US THROUGH THE WINTER, ASSUMING
THAT WE HAVE AN UNINTERRUPTED

US THROUGH THE WINTER, ASSUMING
THAT WE HAVE AN UNINTERRUPTED
FLOW OF OIL FROM OUR FOREIGN

THAT WE HAVE AN UNINTERRUPTED
FLOW OF OIL FROM OUR FOREIGN
SOURCES, INCLUDING IRAN.

FLOW OF OIL FROM OUR FOREIGN
SOURCES, INCLUDING IRAN.
FAT CHANCE.

SOURCES, INCLUDING IRAN.
FAT CHANCE.
NOW, I'M NOT SAYING THAT MY GOOD



FAT CHANCE.
NOW, I'M NOT SAYING THAT MY GOOD
FRIEND THE SHAH IS DEFINITELY

NOW, I'M NOT SAYING THAT MY GOOD
FRIEND THE SHAH IS DEFINITELY
GOING TO BE OVERTHROWN, BUT IF

FRIEND THE SHAH IS DEFINITELY
GOING TO BE OVERTHROWN, BUT IF
HE IS, I DOUBT THAT MY GOOD

GOING TO BE OVERTHROWN, BUT IF
HE IS, I DOUBT THAT MY GOOD
FRIENDS... THE ENEMIES OF THE

HE IS, I DOUBT THAT MY GOOD
FRIENDS... THE ENEMIES OF THE
SHAH... WILL SEND US THE OIL WE

FRIENDS... THE ENEMIES OF THE
SHAH... WILL SEND US THE OIL WE
NEED.

SHAH... WILL SEND US THE OIL WE
NEED.
AND THE OIL FROM OUR NEW GOOD

NEED.
AND THE OIL FROM OUR NEW GOOD
FRIENDS IN CHINA WON'T BE COMING

AND THE OIL FROM OUR NEW GOOD
FRIENDS IN CHINA WON'T BE COMING
TILL THE SPRING.

FRIENDS IN CHINA WON'T BE COMING
TILL THE SPRING.
THEREFORE, I AM CALLING A

TILL THE SPRING.
THEREFORE, I AM CALLING A
YULETIDE ENERGY ALERT, OR

THEREFORE, I AM CALLING A
YULETIDE ENERGY ALERT, OR
Y-E-A... YEA.

YULETIDE ENERGY ALERT, OR
Y-E-A... YEA.
AND I'M ASKING THAT ALL

Y-E-A... YEA.
AND I'M ASKING THAT ALL
AMERICANS TO CONSERVE ENERGY

AND I'M ASKING THAT ALL
AMERICANS TO CONSERVE ENERGY
THIS HOLIDAY SEASON BY TURNING

AMERICANS TO CONSERVE ENERGY
THIS HOLIDAY SEASON BY TURNING
OFF YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.

THIS HOLIDAY SEASON BY TURNING
OFF YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.
AND TO KICK IT OFF, MY DAUGHTER,

OFF YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS.
AND TO KICK IT OFF, MY DAUGHTER,
AMY...

AND TO KICK IT OFF, MY DAUGHTER,
AMY...
MY DAUGHTER, AMY, WILL

AMY...
MY DAUGHTER, AMY, WILL
OFFICIALLY UNLIGHT THE

MY DAUGHTER, AMY, WILL
OFFICIALLY UNLIGHT THE
WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS TREE THAT

OFFICIALLY UNLIGHT THE
WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS TREE THAT
WE LIT ON WEDNESDAY.

WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS TREE THAT
WE LIT ON WEDNESDAY.
NOW, WHETHER YOU'RE A CHILD OF 6

WE LIT ON WEDNESDAY.
NOW, WHETHER YOU'RE A CHILD OF 6
OR 60, EVERYBODY GETS A RUSH OUT

NOW, WHETHER YOU'RE A CHILD OF 6
OR 60, EVERYBODY GETS A RUSH OUT
OF SEEING ALL THE LIGHTS GO OUT

OR 60, EVERYBODY GETS A RUSH OUT
OF SEEING ALL THE LIGHTS GO OUT
AT THE SAME TIME.

OF SEEING ALL THE LIGHTS GO OUT
AT THE SAME TIME.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, SWEETHEART?

AT THE SAME TIME.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, SWEETHEART?
THAT'S RIGHT, DADDY.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, SWEETHEART?
THAT'S RIGHT, DADDY.
AND WHAT DO WE SAY WHEN THE

THAT'S RIGHT, DADDY.
AND WHAT DO WE SAY WHEN THE
LIGHTS GO OUT?

AND WHAT DO WE SAY WHEN THE
LIGHTS GO OUT?
WE SAY "YEA!"

LIGHTS GO OUT?
WE SAY "YEA!"
THAT'S RIGHT, AMY.

WE SAY "YEA!"
THAT'S RIGHT, AMY.
OKAY, HERE'S THE SWITCH.

THAT'S RIGHT, AMY.
OKAY, HERE'S THE SWITCH.
LET HER RIP.

OKAY, HERE'S THE SWITCH.
LET HER RIP.
YEA!

LET HER RIP.
YEA!
YEA!

YEA!
YEA!
[CHEERING]

YEA!
[CHEERING]
DID I DO GOOD, DADDY?

[CHEERING]
DID I DO GOOD, DADDY?
MM-HMM.

DID I DO GOOD, DADDY?
MM-HMM.
WASN'T THAT PRETTY?

MM-HMM.
WASN'T THAT PRETTY?
YEA!

WASN'T THAT PRETTY?
YEA!
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S

YEA!
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!

LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!
[BAND PLAYS]

"SATURDAY NIGHT"!
[BAND PLAYS]
Announcer: IT'S

[BAND PLAYS]
Announcer: IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."

WITH ELLIOT GOULD.

STARRING DAN AYKROYD...
JOHN BELUSHI...
JANE CURTIN...

JOHN BELUSHI...
JANE CURTIN...
GARRETT MORRIS...

JANE CURTIN...
GARRETT MORRIS...
BILL MURRAY...

GARRETT MORRIS...
BILL MURRAY...
LARAINE NEWMAN...

BILL MURRAY...
LARAINE NEWMAN...
AND GILDA RADNER.

WITH MUSICAL GUEST PETER TOSH...
AND SPECIAL GUESTS BOB & RAY.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
ELLIOT GOULD!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NOW, LOOK HERE.
I GOT THIS MUSIC THAT I'M
DEDICATING TO ALL MY FRIENDS

I GOT THIS MUSIC THAT I'M
DEDICATING TO ALL MY FRIENDS
UPTOWN, AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU

DEDICATING TO ALL MY FRIENDS
UPTOWN, AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU
ARE.

UPTOWN, AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU
ARE.
PAUL SHAFFER.

ARE.
PAUL SHAFFER.
[APPLAUSE]

PAUL SHAFFER.
[APPLAUSE]
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]

[APPLAUSE]
[PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ HALLELU-U-U-U-U-JAH ♪

[PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ HALLELU-U-U-U-U-JAH ♪
♪ HALLELU-U-U-U-U-JAH ♪

♪ HALLELU-U-U-U-U-JAH ♪
♪ HALLELU-U-U-U-U-JAH ♪
♪ GLORY HALLE... ♪

♪ HALLELU-U-U-U-U-JAH ♪
♪ GLORY HALLE... ♪
♪ HALLELU-U-U-U-U-U-JAH ♪

♪ GLORY HALLE... ♪
♪ HALLELU-U-U-U-U-U-JAH ♪
HEY, GARRETT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING

♪ HALLELU-U-U-U-U-U-JAH ♪
HEY, GARRETT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HERE?

HEY, GARRETT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HERE?
I ALWAYS OPEN THE SHOW WITH A

HERE?
I ALWAYS OPEN THE SHOW WITH A
SONG.

I ALWAYS OPEN THE SHOW WITH A
SONG.
LISTEN, BABY.

SONG.
LISTEN, BABY.
LISTEN, LISTEN.

LISTEN, BABY.
LISTEN, LISTEN.
I THINK THAT I SHOULD BE THE ONE

LISTEN, LISTEN.
I THINK THAT I SHOULD BE THE ONE
TO SING THE SONG.

I THINK THAT I SHOULD BE THE ONE
TO SING THE SONG.
YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE ALWAYS

TO SING THE SONG.
YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE ALWAYS
SINGING THAT SONG.

YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE ALWAYS
SINGING THAT SONG.
NOW IT'S MY TURN, YOU KNOW.

SINGING THAT SONG.
NOW IT'S MY TURN, YOU KNOW.
I WANT TO GO UPTOWN, TOO.

NOW IT'S MY TURN, YOU KNOW.
I WANT TO GO UPTOWN, TOO.
YEAH, I KNOW.

I WANT TO GO UPTOWN, TOO.
YEAH, I KNOW.
BUT, LIKE, REALLY, I...

YEAH, I KNOW.
BUT, LIKE, REALLY, I...
LOOK, YOU'RE SUCH A GREAT

BUT, LIKE, REALLY, I...
LOOK, YOU'RE SUCH A GREAT
PERFORMER, MAN, IT'S... WELL,

LOOK, YOU'RE SUCH A GREAT
PERFORMER, MAN, IT'S... WELL,
YOU KNOW, IT WOULD BE A

PERFORMER, MAN, IT'S... WELL,
YOU KNOW, IT WOULD BE A
MILESTONE IN MY LIFE TO SING

YOU KNOW, IT WOULD BE A
MILESTONE IN MY LIFE TO SING
THIS SONG TO YOU.

MILESTONE IN MY LIFE TO SING
THIS SONG TO YOU.
♪ EVERY GAL STRUTTING WITH

THIS SONG TO YOU.
♪ EVERY GAL STRUTTING WITH
HER BEAU ♪

♪ EVERY GAL STRUTTING WITH
HER BEAU ♪
♪ THROUGH THE STREETS DRIVEN

HER BEAU ♪
♪ THROUGH THE STREETS DRIVEN
WHITE WITH SNOW ♪

♪ THROUGH THE STREETS DRIVEN
WHITE WITH SNOW ♪
♪ HAPPY SMILES EVERYWHERE YOU

WHITE WITH SNOW ♪
♪ HAPPY SMILES EVERYWHERE YOU
GO ♪

♪ HAPPY SMILES EVERYWHERE YOU
GO ♪
♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN

GO ♪
♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN
HARLEM ♪

♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN
HARLEM ♪
♪ FOLKS UP THERE FEELING

HARLEM ♪
♪ FOLKS UP THERE FEELING
MIGHTY GOOD ♪

♪ FOLKS UP THERE FEELING
MIGHTY GOOD ♪
♪ IN THAT UPTOWN NEIGHBORHOOD ♪

MIGHTY GOOD ♪
♪ IN THAT UPTOWN NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
♪ HERE AND NOW, BE IT

♪ IN THAT UPTOWN NEIGHBORHOOD ♪
♪ HERE AND NOW, BE IT
UNDERSTOOD ♪

♪ HERE AND NOW, BE IT
UNDERSTOOD ♪
♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN

UNDERSTOOD ♪
♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN
HARLEM ♪

♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN
HARLEM ♪
♪ EVERYONE'S GONNA SIT UP

HARLEM ♪
♪ EVERYONE'S GONNA SIT UP
TILL AFTER 3:00 ♪

♪ EVERYONE'S GONNA SIT UP
TILL AFTER 3:00 ♪
♪ AND EVERYONE WILL BE ALL

TILL AFTER 3:00 ♪
♪ AND EVERYONE WILL BE ALL
LIT UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE ♪

♪ AND EVERYONE WILL BE ALL
LIT UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE ♪
♪ SO COME ON, NOW, SING IT

LIT UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE ♪
♪ SO COME ON, NOW, SING IT
SOFT AND LOW ♪

♪ SO COME ON, NOW, SING IT
SOFT AND LOW ♪
♪ TREAT YOUR SWEETNESS TO

SOFT AND LOW ♪
♪ TREAT YOUR SWEETNESS TO
MISTLETOE ♪

♪ TREAT YOUR SWEETNESS TO
MISTLETOE ♪
Both: ♪ WITH A KISS AND A

MISTLETOE ♪
Both: ♪ WITH A KISS AND A
HIDY HO ♪

Both: ♪ WITH A KISS AND A
HIDY HO ♪
♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN

HIDY HO ♪
♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN
HARLEM ♪

♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN
HARLEM ♪
YEAH, GO AHEAD.

HARLEM ♪
YEAH, GO AHEAD.
GIVE THEM A DANCE, BABY.

YEAH, GO AHEAD.
GIVE THEM A DANCE, BABY.
OW, OW. MM, MM.

GIVE THEM A DANCE, BABY.
OW, OW. MM, MM.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OW, OW. MM, MM.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH, YEAH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH, YEAH.
THAT'S THAT TOWN WALK.

YEAH, YEAH.
THAT'S THAT TOWN WALK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ MR. GARRETT, I'D LIKE TO BE ♪
♪ UP, UP, UP IN THAT VICINITY ♪
♪ OH, YOU SAID IT, MR. G. ♪

♪ UP, UP, UP IN THAT VICINITY ♪
♪ OH, YOU SAID IT, MR. G. ♪
♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN

♪ OH, YOU SAID IT, MR. G. ♪
♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN
HARLEM ♪

♪ IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN
HARLEM ♪
♪ CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN HARLEM ♪

HARLEM ♪
♪ CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN HARLEM ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT

♪ CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN HARLEM ♪
♪ WELL, IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT
IN HARLEM ♪

♪ WELL, IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT
IN HARLEM ♪
♪ CHRISTMAS NIGHT... ♪

IN HARLEM ♪
♪ CHRISTMAS NIGHT... ♪
OH, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

♪ CHRISTMAS NIGHT... ♪
OH, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YEAH.

OH, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YEAH.
Both: ♪ CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN

YEAH.
Both: ♪ CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN
HARLEM ♪

Both: ♪ CHRISTMAS NIGHT IN
HARLEM ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WELL, IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME
AGAIN, AND, OF COURSE,
THROUGHOUT THE HOLIDAY SEASON,

AGAIN, AND, OF COURSE,
THROUGHOUT THE HOLIDAY SEASON,
EVERY HOME SHOULD HAVE A

THROUGHOUT THE HOLIDAY SEASON,
EVERY HOME SHOULD HAVE A
CHRISTMAS TREE.

EVERY HOME SHOULD HAVE A
CHRISTMAS TREE.
SURE, YOU COULD BUY AND HAUL

CHRISTMAS TREE.
SURE, YOU COULD BUY AND HAUL
HOME ONE OF THESE SCOTCH PINES

SURE, YOU COULD BUY AND HAUL
HOME ONE OF THESE SCOTCH PINES
FOR THE FAMILY, BUT THE TROUBLE

HOME ONE OF THESE SCOTCH PINES
FOR THE FAMILY, BUT THE TROUBLE
IS, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO PUT

FOR THE FAMILY, BUT THE TROUBLE
IS, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO PUT
IT?

IS, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO PUT
IT?
AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT TIRESOME

IT?
AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT TIRESOME
TREE MAINTENANCE?

AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT TIRESOME
TREE MAINTENANCE?
FINDING A STAND THAT FITS,

TREE MAINTENANCE?
FINDING A STAND THAT FITS,
CONSTANT WATERING AND CLEANING

FINDING A STAND THAT FITS,
CONSTANT WATERING AND CLEANING
UP THE THOUSANDS OF TINY NEEDLES

CONSTANT WATERING AND CLEANING
UP THE THOUSANDS OF TINY NEEDLES
THAT FALL FROM THESE TREES EACH

UP THE THOUSANDS OF TINY NEEDLES
THAT FALL FROM THESE TREES EACH
YEAR.

THAT FALL FROM THESE TREES EACH
YEAR.
BUT HERE IS A FANTASTIC TV OFFER

YEAR.
BUT HERE IS A FANTASTIC TV OFFER
FROM ROVCO, THE BABY NORWAY

BUT HERE IS A FANTASTIC TV OFFER
FROM ROVCO, THE BABY NORWAY
ALL-FLAMMABLE CHRISTMAS TREE.

FROM ROVCO, THE BABY NORWAY
ALL-FLAMMABLE CHRISTMAS TREE.
YES, IT'S AN ARTIFICIAL TREE,

ALL-FLAMMABLE CHRISTMAS TREE.
YES, IT'S AN ARTIFICIAL TREE,
BUT ROVCO'S BABY NORWAY IS MUCH

YES, IT'S AN ARTIFICIAL TREE,
BUT ROVCO'S BABY NORWAY IS MUCH
MORE THAN YOUR TRADITIONAL

BUT ROVCO'S BABY NORWAY IS MUCH
MORE THAN YOUR TRADITIONAL
ARTIFICIAL MINIATURE BECAUSE IT

MORE THAN YOUR TRADITIONAL
ARTIFICIAL MINIATURE BECAUSE IT
WAS BUILT TO BURN.

ARTIFICIAL MINIATURE BECAUSE IT
WAS BUILT TO BURN.
SIMPLY PLACE THE TREE ANYWHERE

WAS BUILT TO BURN.
SIMPLY PLACE THE TREE ANYWHERE
IN YOUR HOME, USE THE HANDY

SIMPLY PLACE THE TREE ANYWHERE
IN YOUR HOME, USE THE HANDY
TORCH...

IN YOUR HOME, USE THE HANDY
TORCH...
TO LIGHT THE TREE...

TORCH...
TO LIGHT THE TREE...
SIT BACK, AND ENJOY ITS COLORFUL

TO LIGHT THE TREE...
SIT BACK, AND ENJOY ITS COLORFUL
FLAME THROUGHOUT THE HOLIDAY

SIT BACK, AND ENJOY ITS COLORFUL
FLAME THROUGHOUT THE HOLIDAY
SEASON.

FLAME THROUGHOUT THE HOLIDAY
SEASON.
IT'S BETTER THAN A YULE LOG!

SEASON.
IT'S BETTER THAN A YULE LOG!
ROVCO'S BABY NORWAY WILL

IT'S BETTER THAN A YULE LOG!
ROVCO'S BABY NORWAY WILL
BURN AND BURN FOR HOURS AND

ROVCO'S BABY NORWAY WILL
BURN AND BURN FOR HOURS AND
HOURS.

BURN AND BURN FOR HOURS AND
HOURS.
AND WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED YOUR

HOURS.
AND WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED YOUR
HOLIDAY CELEBRATING FOR THE

AND WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED YOUR
HOLIDAY CELEBRATING FOR THE
NIGHT, SIMPLY LET THE TREE'S

HOLIDAY CELEBRATING FOR THE
NIGHT, SIMPLY LET THE TREE'S
FLAME BURN OUT NATURALLY,

NIGHT, SIMPLY LET THE TREE'S
FLAME BURN OUT NATURALLY,
SAFELY, AND COLORFULLY.

FLAME BURN OUT NATURALLY,
SAFELY, AND COLORFULLY.
ISN'T THAT AMAZING?

SAFELY, AND COLORFULLY.
ISN'T THAT AMAZING?
THE ROVCO BABY NORWAY

ISN'T THAT AMAZING?
THE ROVCO BABY NORWAY
ALL-FLAMMABLE CHRISTMAS TREE

THE ROVCO BABY NORWAY
ALL-FLAMMABLE CHRISTMAS TREE
INCLUDES TREE, STRIKER, AND

ALL-FLAMMABLE CHRISTMAS TREE
INCLUDES TREE, STRIKER, AND
TORCH ALL FOR ONLY $29.95.

INCLUDES TREE, STRIKER, AND
TORCH ALL FOR ONLY $29.95.
THAT'S $29.95.

TORCH ALL FOR ONLY $29.95.
THAT'S $29.95.
LOOK, IT COMES IN THREE GREAT

THAT'S $29.95.
LOOK, IT COMES IN THREE GREAT
COLORS... PINK...

LOOK, IT COMES IN THREE GREAT
COLORS... PINK...
ELECTRIC BLUE...

COLORS... PINK...
ELECTRIC BLUE...
AND PINE.

ELECTRIC BLUE...
AND PINE.
IT'S ALL YOU NEED TO MAKE YOUR

AND PINE.
IT'S ALL YOU NEED TO MAKE YOUR
HOLIDAYS BRIGHTER, FROM ROVCO!

Announcer: ALLOW 8 TO 10
WEEKS TO DELIVER.
ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE AN

WEEKS TO DELIVER.
ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE AN
ALL-FLAMMABLE HANGING WREATH.

[EXTINGUISHER HISSING]

HELLO?
IS THIS TRANSAMERICAN AIRLINES?
GOOD.

IS THIS TRANSAMERICAN AIRLINES?
GOOD.
I'D LIKE TO CONFIRM FOUR

GOOD.
I'D LIKE TO CONFIRM FOUR
RESERVATIONS FOR THE WIDETTE

I'D LIKE TO CONFIRM FOUR
RESERVATIONS FOR THE WIDETTE
FAMILY.

RESERVATIONS FOR THE WIDETTE
FAMILY.
THAT'S W-I-D-E-T-T-E.

FAMILY.
THAT'S W-I-D-E-T-T-E.
WIDETTE.

THAT'S W-I-D-E-T-T-E.
WIDETTE.
YEAH.

WIDETTE.
YEAH.
YEAH.

YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S CORRECT.

YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S CORRECT.
THAT'S RIGHT.

YEAH, THAT'S CORRECT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH, WE ALL WANT FIRST CLASS.

THAT'S RIGHT.
YEAH, WE ALL WANT FIRST CLASS.
OH, YEAH, WE'RE GOING SKIING AT

YEAH, WE ALL WANT FIRST CLASS.
OH, YEAH, WE'RE GOING SKIING AT
BIG MOUNTAIN.

OH, YEAH, WE'RE GOING SKIING AT
BIG MOUNTAIN.
OKAY, THANK YOU.

BIG MOUNTAIN.
OKAY, THANK YOU.
OOH!

OKAY, THANK YOU.
OOH!
GOODBYE.

OOH!
GOODBYE.
HI, HONEY.

GOODBYE.
HI, HONEY.
I'M HOME.

HI, HONEY.
I'M HOME.
HI, SWEETHEART.

I'M HOME.
HI, SWEETHEART.
WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

HI, SWEETHEART.
WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
OH, WE'RE HAVING MACARONI AND

WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
OH, WE'RE HAVING MACARONI AND
CHEESE AND HOME FRIES.

OH, WE'RE HAVING MACARONI AND
CHEESE AND HOME FRIES.
GOOD, GOOD.

CHEESE AND HOME FRIES.
GOOD, GOOD.
WELL, I BROUGHT HOME SOME

GOOD, GOOD.
WELL, I BROUGHT HOME SOME
POTATO SALAD IN CASE THERE'S NOT

WELL, I BROUGHT HOME SOME
POTATO SALAD IN CASE THERE'S NOT
ENOUGH, 'CAUSE I INVITED JERRY

POTATO SALAD IN CASE THERE'S NOT
ENOUGH, 'CAUSE I INVITED JERRY
OVER FOR DINNER.

ENOUGH, 'CAUSE I INVITED JERRY
OVER FOR DINNER.
OH, WELL, YOUR BROTHER'S

OVER FOR DINNER.
OH, WELL, YOUR BROTHER'S
ALWAYS WELCOME.

OH, WELL, YOUR BROTHER'S
ALWAYS WELCOME.
OH, WAIT.

ALWAYS WELCOME.
OH, WAIT.
I WONDER IF WE HAVE ENOUGH BREAD

OH, WAIT.
I WONDER IF WE HAVE ENOUGH BREAD
PUDDING.

I WONDER IF WE HAVE ENOUGH BREAD
PUDDING.
YOU WANT TO GO OUT AND GET SOME

PUDDING.
YOU WANT TO GO OUT AND GET SOME
MORE?

YOU WANT TO GO OUT AND GET SOME
MORE?
OH, I JUST WANT TO SIT DOWN.

MORE?
OH, I JUST WANT TO SIT DOWN.
I'VE BEEN ON THE PHONE ALL DAY.

OH, I JUST WANT TO SIT DOWN.
I'VE BEEN ON THE PHONE ALL DAY.
WELL, THAT'S OKAY.

I'VE BEEN ON THE PHONE ALL DAY.
WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
WE ALWAYS HAVE THE LEFTOVER

WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
WE ALWAYS HAVE THE LEFTOVER
SPAGHETTI IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

WE ALWAYS HAVE THE LEFTOVER
SPAGHETTI IN THE REFRIGERATOR.
THERE ARE SOME TATER TOTS IN

SPAGHETTI IN THE REFRIGERATOR.
THERE ARE SOME TATER TOTS IN
THERE.

THERE ARE SOME TATER TOTS IN
THERE.
GOOD.

THERE.
GOOD.
OH, THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL GLASS

GOOD.
OH, THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL GLASS
SCULPTURE.

OH, THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL GLASS
SCULPTURE.
WHERE DID YOU GET IT?

SCULPTURE.
WHERE DID YOU GET IT?
WELL, I WAS WALKING PAST

WHERE DID YOU GET IT?
WELL, I WAS WALKING PAST
STEUBEN'S CRYSTAL & GLASS

WELL, I WAS WALKING PAST
STEUBEN'S CRYSTAL & GLASS
EMPORIUM, AND IT JUST CAUGHT MY

STEUBEN'S CRYSTAL & GLASS
EMPORIUM, AND IT JUST CAUGHT MY
EYE.

EMPORIUM, AND IT JUST CAUGHT MY
EYE.
I DECIDED TO BUY IT.

EYE.
I DECIDED TO BUY IT.
LOOKS EXPENSIVE.

I DECIDED TO BUY IT.
LOOKS EXPENSIVE.
NOT TOO BAD, BUT I HAD TO PAY

LOOKS EXPENSIVE.
NOT TOO BAD, BUT I HAD TO PAY
FOR TWO OF THEM.

NOT TOO BAD, BUT I HAD TO PAY
FOR TWO OF THEM.
ONE OF THEM BROKE, AND THEY

FOR TWO OF THEM.
ONE OF THEM BROKE, AND THEY
BLAMED ME.

ONE OF THEM BROKE, AND THEY
BLAMED ME.
WHY?

BLAMED ME.
WHY?
WHAT HAPPENED?

WHY?
WHAT HAPPENED?
I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT HAPPENED?
I DON'T KNOW.
I PICKED THIS UP AND TURNED

I DON'T KNOW.
I PICKED THIS UP AND TURNED
AROUND TO PAY FOR IT AND I HEAR

I PICKED THIS UP AND TURNED
AROUND TO PAY FOR IT AND I HEAR
THIS CRASH.

AROUND TO PAY FOR IT AND I HEAR
THIS CRASH.
THE GUY BLAMES ME.

THIS CRASH.
THE GUY BLAMES ME.
TYPICAL.

THE GUY BLAMES ME.
TYPICAL.
AREN'T THE KIDS HOME YET?

TYPICAL.
AREN'T THE KIDS HOME YET?
WELL, TAMMY'S TRYING OUT FOR

AREN'T THE KIDS HOME YET?
WELL, TAMMY'S TRYING OUT FOR
CHEERLEADING TONIGHT, AND JEFF

WELL, TAMMY'S TRYING OUT FOR
CHEERLEADING TONIGHT, AND JEFF
WANTED TO WAIT AROUND TO SEE IF

CHEERLEADING TONIGHT, AND JEFF
WANTED TO WAIT AROUND TO SEE IF
SHE HAD A RIDE.

WANTED TO WAIT AROUND TO SEE IF
SHE HAD A RIDE.
OH.

SHE HAD A RIDE.
OH.
WELL, YOU KNOW...

OH.
WELL, YOU KNOW...
HUH?

WELL, YOU KNOW...
HUH?
HI, MOM. HI, DAD.

HUH?
HI, MOM. HI, DAD.
WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

HI, MOM. HI, DAD.
WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
'CAUSE I'M HUNGRY.

WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
'CAUSE I'M HUNGRY.
WELL, WE'RE HAVING MACARONI

'CAUSE I'M HUNGRY.
WELL, WE'RE HAVING MACARONI
AND CHEESE IN ABOUT FIVE

WELL, WE'RE HAVING MACARONI
AND CHEESE IN ABOUT FIVE
MINUTES.

AND CHEESE IN ABOUT FIVE
MINUTES.
OH, OKAY.

MINUTES.
OH, OKAY.
I'M GONNA HAVE A COUPLE OF

OH, OKAY.
I'M GONNA HAVE A COUPLE OF
HO HOS JUST TO TIDE ME OVER.

I'M GONNA HAVE A COUPLE OF
HO HOS JUST TO TIDE ME OVER.
WELL, GO RIGHT AHEAD.

HO HOS JUST TO TIDE ME OVER.
WELL, GO RIGHT AHEAD.
YOU MUST BE HUNGRY.

WELL, GO RIGHT AHEAD.
YOU MUST BE HUNGRY.
HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE

YOU MUST BE HUNGRY.
HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE
PUTS IT.

HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE
PUTS IT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, TAMMY?

PUTS IT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER, TAMMY?
WHAT'S THE SOUR LOOK FOR?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, TAMMY?
WHAT'S THE SOUR LOOK FOR?
[GROANS]

WHAT'S THE SOUR LOOK FOR?
[GROANS]
I DIDN'T MAKE THE CHEERLEADER

[GROANS]
I DIDN'T MAKE THE CHEERLEADER
SQUAD.

I DIDN'T MAKE THE CHEERLEADER
SQUAD.
OH, THAT'S A SHAME, TAMMY.

SQUAD.
OH, THAT'S A SHAME, TAMMY.
YOU WORKED YOUR HEART OFF FOR

OH, THAT'S A SHAME, TAMMY.
YOU WORKED YOUR HEART OFF FOR
THAT TEAM.

YOU WORKED YOUR HEART OFF FOR
THAT TEAM.
YEAH, BUM TRIP.

THAT TEAM.
YEAH, BUM TRIP.
I GUESS THAT SCHOOL'S NOT ALL

YEAH, BUM TRIP.
I GUESS THAT SCHOOL'S NOT ALL
IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE.

I GUESS THAT SCHOOL'S NOT ALL
IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE.
[DOORBELL RINGS]

IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
OH, THAT MUST BE YOUR UNCLE

[DOORBELL RINGS]
OH, THAT MUST BE YOUR UNCLE
JERRY.

OH, THAT MUST BE YOUR UNCLE
JERRY.
I INVITED HIM OVER TONIGHT.

JERRY.
I INVITED HIM OVER TONIGHT.
WOULD YOU GET IT, TAMMY?

I INVITED HIM OVER TONIGHT.
WOULD YOU GET IT, TAMMY?
OKAY.

WOULD YOU GET IT, TAMMY?
OKAY.
[DOORBELL RINGS]

OKAY.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
HI, TAMMY.

[DOORBELL RINGS]
HI, TAMMY.
HI, EVERYBODY.

HI, TAMMY.
HI, EVERYBODY.
HI, JERRY!

HI, EVERYBODY.
HI, JERRY!
WELL, WELL.

HI, JERRY!
WELL, WELL.
WOULD YOU GET A LOAD OF THAT

WELL, WELL.
WOULD YOU GET A LOAD OF THAT
CHEERLEADER OUTFIT?

WOULD YOU GET A LOAD OF THAT
CHEERLEADER OUTFIT?
BOY, BOB, THIS DAUGHTER OF YOURS

CHEERLEADER OUTFIT?
BOY, BOB, THIS DAUGHTER OF YOURS
IS TURNING INTO A REAL PIECE.

BOY, BOB, THIS DAUGHTER OF YOURS
IS TURNING INTO A REAL PIECE.
OH, THANK YOU, UNCLE JERRY.

IS TURNING INTO A REAL PIECE.
OH, THANK YOU, UNCLE JERRY.
AND I BROUGHT A TREAT.

OH, THANK YOU, UNCLE JERRY.
AND I BROUGHT A TREAT.
I WENT TO FANNY FARMERS AND GOT

AND I BROUGHT A TREAT.
I WENT TO FANNY FARMERS AND GOT
SOME FUDGE!

I WENT TO FANNY FARMERS AND GOT
SOME FUDGE!
FUDGE! OH, BOY!

SOME FUDGE!
FUDGE! OH, BOY!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

HOW ARE THINGS?
HOW ARE THINGS DOWN AT THE
CLINIC, JER?

HOW ARE THINGS DOWN AT THE
CLINIC, JER?
WELL, BOB, NOTHING REALLY

CLINIC, JER?
WELL, BOB, NOTHING REALLY
EXCITING TO REPORT.

WELL, BOB, NOTHING REALLY
EXCITING TO REPORT.
I JUST GIVE BOOSTER SHOTS ALL

EXCITING TO REPORT.
I JUST GIVE BOOSTER SHOTS ALL
DAY.

I JUST GIVE BOOSTER SHOTS ALL
DAY.
OH! OH!

DAY.
OH! OH!
I SAW A CELEBRITY, THOUGH.

OH! OH!
I SAW A CELEBRITY, THOUGH.
OH, YEAH?

I SAW A CELEBRITY, THOUGH.
OH, YEAH?
ORSON WELLES CAME IN FOR A

OH, YEAH?
ORSON WELLES CAME IN FOR A
FLU SHOT.

ORSON WELLES CAME IN FOR A
FLU SHOT.
OH, ORSON WELLES.

FLU SHOT.
OH, ORSON WELLES.
I LIKE HIM.

OH, ORSON WELLES.
I LIKE HIM.
OH!

I LIKE HIM.
OH!
OH, YOU KNOW, DINNER'S ABOUT

OH!
OH, YOU KNOW, DINNER'S ABOUT
READY.

OH, YOU KNOW, DINNER'S ABOUT
READY.
SHALL WE GO IN AND EAT?

READY.
SHALL WE GO IN AND EAT?
I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM

SHALL WE GO IN AND EAT?
I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
FIRST.

I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
FIRST.
ANYBODY SEE MY COPY OF

FIRST.
ANYBODY SEE MY COPY OF
"WAR AND PEACE"?

ANYBODY SEE MY COPY OF
"WAR AND PEACE"?
OH, IT'S IN THERE ALREADY.

"WAR AND PEACE"?
OH, IT'S IN THERE ALREADY.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE EATING DINNER,

OH, IT'S IN THERE ALREADY.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE EATING DINNER,
SO REMEMBER TO TURN ON ALL THE

YOU KNOW, WE'RE EATING DINNER,
SO REMEMBER TO TURN ON ALL THE
FANS AND OPEN THE SKYLIGHT.

SO REMEMBER TO TURN ON ALL THE
FANS AND OPEN THE SKYLIGHT.
OKAY, OKAY.

FANS AND OPEN THE SKYLIGHT.
OKAY, OKAY.
YOU KNOW, I THINK I'LL PUT ON

OKAY, OKAY.
YOU KNOW, I THINK I'LL PUT ON
SOME MUSIC FOR DINNER.

YOU KNOW, I THINK I'LL PUT ON
SOME MUSIC FOR DINNER.
ANYBODY SEEN MY BEVERLY SILLS

SOME MUSIC FOR DINNER.
ANYBODY SEEN MY BEVERLY SILLS
RECORD?

ANYBODY SEEN MY BEVERLY SILLS
RECORD?
OH, COME ON.

RECORD?
OH, COME ON.
LET'S EAT BEFORE DINNER GETS

OH, COME ON.
LET'S EAT BEFORE DINNER GETS
COLD.

LET'S EAT BEFORE DINNER GETS
COLD.
[ALARM BUZZING]

COLD.
[ALARM BUZZING]
WHAT'S THAT?

[ALARM BUZZING]
WHAT'S THAT?
IT SOUNDS LIKE A SMOKE ALARM,

WHAT'S THAT?
IT SOUNDS LIKE A SMOKE ALARM,
BUT I-I-I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY.

IT SOUNDS LIKE A SMOKE ALARM,
BUT I-I-I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY.
THE HOUSE COULDN'T BE ON FIRE.

BUT I-I-I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY.
THE HOUSE COULDN'T BE ON FIRE.
OH, DAD, SHOULD I GO CHECK?

THE HOUSE COULDN'T BE ON FIRE.
OH, DAD, SHOULD I GO CHECK?
NO.

OH, DAD, SHOULD I GO CHECK?
NO.
NO. DON'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.

NO.
NO. DON'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.
LET'S HAUL OURSELVES OUT OF

NO. DON'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.
LET'S HAUL OURSELVES OUT OF
HERE.

LET'S HAUL OURSELVES OUT OF
HERE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.

HERE.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
WHERE'S JEFF?

YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
WHERE'S JEFF?
LET'S GET JEFF FROM UPSTAIRS.

WHERE'S JEFF?
LET'S GET JEFF FROM UPSTAIRS.
JEFF, HURRY UP!

LET'S GET JEFF FROM UPSTAIRS.
JEFF, HURRY UP!
THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!

JEFF, HURRY UP!
THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!
QUICKLY!

THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!
QUICKLY!
JEFF! COME ON!

QUICKLY!
JEFF! COME ON!
JEFF!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
PETER TOSH.
[INTRO TO "DON'T LOOK BACK"

PETER TOSH.
[INTRO TO "DON'T LOOK BACK"
PLAYS]

♪ IF IT'S LOVE THAT YOU'RE
RUNNING FROM ♪
♪ THERE IS NO HIDING PLACE ♪

RUNNING FROM ♪
♪ THERE IS NO HIDING PLACE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T

♪ THERE IS NO HIDING PLACE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪

♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ JUST YOUR PROBLEMS AND NO

HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ JUST YOUR PROBLEMS AND NO
ONE ELSE'S PROBLEMS ♪

♪ JUST YOUR PROBLEMS AND NO
ONE ELSE'S PROBLEMS ♪
♪ YOU HAVE TO FACE ♪

ONE ELSE'S PROBLEMS ♪
♪ YOU HAVE TO FACE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T

♪ YOU HAVE TO FACE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪

♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ SO, IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR

HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ SO, IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR
HAND IN MINE ♪

♪ SO, IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR
HAND IN MINE ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR

HAND IN MINE ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR
TROUBLES BEHIND ♪

♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR
TROUBLES BEHIND ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK

TROUBLES BEHIND ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪

♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪

BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T

♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T
LOOK BACK ♪

♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T
LOOK BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪

LOOK BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ NOW, IF YOUR FIRST LOVER

♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ NOW, IF YOUR FIRST LOVER
BROKE YOUR HEART ♪

♪ NOW, IF YOUR FIRST LOVER
BROKE YOUR HEART ♪
♪ THERE'S SOMETHING THAT CAN BE

BROKE YOUR HEART ♪
♪ THERE'S SOMETHING THAT CAN BE
DONE ♪

♪ THERE'S SOMETHING THAT CAN BE
DONE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T

DONE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪

♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ DON'T KILL YOUR FAITH IN

HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ DON'T KILL YOUR FAITH IN
LOVE ♪

♪ DON'T KILL YOUR FAITH IN
LOVE ♪
♪ REMEMBERING WHAT'S BEEN DONE ♪

LOVE ♪
♪ REMEMBERING WHAT'S BEEN DONE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T

♪ REMEMBERING WHAT'S BEEN DONE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪

♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ SO, IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR

HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ SO, IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR
HAND IN MINE ♪

♪ SO, IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR
HAND IN MINE ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR

HAND IN MINE ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR
TROUBLES BEHIND ♪

♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR
TROUBLES BEHIND ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK

TROUBLES BEHIND ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪

♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪

BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T

♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T
LOOK BACK ♪

♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T
LOOK BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪

LOOK BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
[SAXOPHONE SOLO]

♪ IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR HAND
IN MINE ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR

IN MINE ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR
TROUBLES BEHIND ♪

♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR
TROUBLES BEHIND ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK

TROUBLES BEHIND ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪

♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪

BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ WALK AND DON'T LOOK BACK ♪

♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ WALK AND DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪

♪ WALK AND DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ OOH, OOH ♪

♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ OOH, OOH ♪
♪ PLACES BEHIND YOU ♪

♪ OOH, OOH ♪
♪ PLACES BEHIND YOU ♪
♪ THERE TO REMIND YOU ♪

♪ PLACES BEHIND YOU ♪
♪ THERE TO REMIND YOU ♪
♪ WHEN YOUR LOVER LETS YOU

♪ THERE TO REMIND YOU ♪
♪ WHEN YOUR LOVER LETS YOU
DOWN ♪

♪ WHEN YOUR LOVER LETS YOU
DOWN ♪
♪ SOMETHING CAN BE DONE ♪

DOWN ♪
♪ SOMETHING CAN BE DONE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T

♪ SOMETHING CAN BE DONE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪

♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ GONNA HEAL YOUR FAITH IN

HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ GONNA HEAL YOUR FAITH IN
LOVE ♪

♪ GONNA HEAL YOUR FAITH IN
LOVE ♪
♪ REMEMBERING WHAT'S BEEN DONE ♪

LOVE ♪
♪ REMEMBERING WHAT'S BEEN DONE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T

♪ REMEMBERING WHAT'S BEEN DONE ♪
♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪

♪ YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU CAN'T
HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ BUT IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR

HIDE, YOU CAN'T RUN ♪
♪ BUT IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR
HAND IN MINE ♪

♪ BUT IF YOU JUST PUT YOUR
HAND IN MINE ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR

HAND IN MINE ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR
TROUBLES BEHIND ♪

♪ WE'RE GONNA LEAVE ALL OUR
TROUBLES BEHIND ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK

TROUBLES BEHIND ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪

♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪

BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T

♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T
LOOK BACK ♪

♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T
LOOK BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪

LOOK BACK ♪
♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ DOO DOO DOO, DOO DOO DOO ♪

♪ DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ DOO DOO DOO, DOO DOO DOO ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T

♪ DOO DOO DOO, DOO DOO DOO ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T
LOOK BACK ♪

♪ WE GONNA WALK AND DON'T
LOOK BACK ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK ♪

LOOK BACK ♪
♪ WE GONNA WALK ♪
♪ KEEP ON WALKING, DON'T LOOK

♪ WE GONNA WALK ♪
♪ KEEP ON WALKING, DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪

♪ KEEP ON WALKING, DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪
♪ NO, DON'T LOOK BACK ♪

BACK ♪
♪ NO, DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ KEEP ON WALKING ♪

♪ NO, DON'T LOOK BACK ♪
♪ KEEP ON WALKING ♪
HOW FAR HAVE I BEEN WALKING?

♪ KEEP ON WALKING ♪
HOW FAR HAVE I BEEN WALKING?
ABOUT 100 MILES.

HOW FAR HAVE I BEEN WALKING?
ABOUT 100 MILES.
YOU STILL GOT SOME MORE MILES

ABOUT 100 MILES.
YOU STILL GOT SOME MORE MILES
TO WALK.

YOU STILL GOT SOME MORE MILES
TO WALK.
YEAH, I'VE GOT ABOUT 2,000

TO WALK.
YEAH, I'VE GOT ABOUT 2,000
MORE MILES TO GO, PETER.

YEAH, I'VE GOT ABOUT 2,000
MORE MILES TO GO, PETER.
PUT ON YOUR SHOES AND START

MORE MILES TO GO, PETER.
PUT ON YOUR SHOES AND START
WALKING.

PUT ON YOUR SHOES AND START
WALKING.
I'LL PUT ON MY SHOES.

WALKING.
I'LL PUT ON MY SHOES.
I'VE BEEN WALKING BAREFOOT.

I'LL PUT ON MY SHOES.
I'VE BEEN WALKING BAREFOOT.
♪ KEEP ON WALKING ♪

I'VE BEEN WALKING BAREFOOT.
♪ KEEP ON WALKING ♪
♪ KEEP ON WALKING, DON'T LOOK

♪ KEEP ON WALKING ♪
♪ KEEP ON WALKING, DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪

♪ KEEP ON WALKING, DON'T LOOK
BACK ♪
♪ KEEP ON WALKING ♪

BACK ♪
♪ KEEP ON WALKING ♪
♪ KEEP ON, KEEP ON WALKING ♪

♪ KEEP ON WALKING ♪
♪ KEEP ON, KEEP ON WALKING ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA WALK AND DON'T

♪ KEEP ON, KEEP ON WALKING ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA WALK AND DON'T
LOOK BACK ♪

♪ WE'RE GONNA WALK AND DON'T
LOOK BACK ♪
♪ PLACES BEHIND YOU ♪

LOOK BACK ♪
♪ PLACES BEHIND YOU ♪
♪ THERE TO REMIND YOU ♪

♪ PLACES BEHIND YOU ♪
♪ THERE TO REMIND YOU ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

"THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS ALWAYS
A TIME FOR REMEMBERING.
I'LL NEVER FORGET CHRISTMAS IN

A TIME FOR REMEMBERING.
I'LL NEVER FORGET CHRISTMAS IN
THAT MOVIE-STAR MANSION IN

I'LL NEVER FORGET CHRISTMAS IN
THAT MOVIE-STAR MANSION IN
BRENTWOOD.

THAT MOVIE-STAR MANSION IN
BRENTWOOD.
I REMEMBER THE CHRISTMAS TREE

BRENTWOOD.
I REMEMBER THE CHRISTMAS TREE
DRIPPING WITH TINSEL AND

I REMEMBER THE CHRISTMAS TREE
DRIPPING WITH TINSEL AND
GLITTER.

DRIPPING WITH TINSEL AND
GLITTER.
I REMEMBER THE EXQUISITELY

GLITTER.
I REMEMBER THE EXQUISITELY
WRAPPED PRESENTS PILED UP TO THE

I REMEMBER THE EXQUISITELY
WRAPPED PRESENTS PILED UP TO THE
CEILING.

WRAPPED PRESENTS PILED UP TO THE
CEILING.
BUT MOST OF ALL, I REMEMBER

CEILING.
BUT MOST OF ALL, I REMEMBER
MOMMIE DEAREST."

AND THEN MOMMIE DEAREST CAME
TO HOLLYWOOD AND WORKED AND
STRUGGLED AND CLAWED HER WAY TO

TO HOLLYWOOD AND WORKED AND
STRUGGLED AND CLAWED HER WAY TO
THE TOP SO THAT SHE COULD GIVE

STRUGGLED AND CLAWED HER WAY TO
THE TOP SO THAT SHE COULD GIVE
YOU EVERYTHING SHE NEVER HAD,

THE TOP SO THAT SHE COULD GIVE
YOU EVERYTHING SHE NEVER HAD,
BECAUSE MOMMIE DEAREST LOVES YOU

YOU EVERYTHING SHE NEVER HAD,
BECAUSE MOMMIE DEAREST LOVES YOU
SO VERY, VERY MUCH, YOU

BECAUSE MOMMIE DEAREST LOVES YOU
SO VERY, VERY MUCH, YOU
MISERABLE LITTLE WRETCH.

SO VERY, VERY MUCH, YOU
MISERABLE LITTLE WRETCH.
HOW DARE YOU MUSH MOMMIE'S

MISERABLE LITTLE WRETCH.
HOW DARE YOU MUSH MOMMIE'S
LIPSTICK?!

HOW DARE YOU MUSH MOMMIE'S
LIPSTICK?!
OH! OOH! OH!

AREN'T YOU LUCKY TO HAVE BEEN
ADOPTED BY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
MOMMIE IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

ADOPTED BY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
MOMMIE IN THE WHOLE WORLD?
DON'T FORGET, YOUR MOMMIE,

MOMMIE IN THE WHOLE WORLD?
DON'T FORGET, YOUR MOMMIE,
JOAN CRAWFORD, PICKED YOU OUT OF

DON'T FORGET, YOUR MOMMIE,
JOAN CRAWFORD, PICKED YOU OUT OF
ALL THE PATHETIC LITTLE REJECTS

JOAN CRAWFORD, PICKED YOU OUT OF
ALL THE PATHETIC LITTLE REJECTS
WHOSE MOTHERS DIDN'T WANT THEM.

ALL THE PATHETIC LITTLE REJECTS
WHOSE MOTHERS DIDN'T WANT THEM.
NOW, TO SHOW MOMMIE DEAREST HOW

WHOSE MOTHERS DIDN'T WANT THEM.
NOW, TO SHOW MOMMIE DEAREST HOW
GRATEFUL YOU ARE TO BE ADOPTED,

NOW, TO SHOW MOMMIE DEAREST HOW
GRATEFUL YOU ARE TO BE ADOPTED,
GIVE HER A BIG SERVILE HUG.

GRATEFUL YOU ARE TO BE ADOPTED,
GIVE HER A BIG SERVILE HUG.
HOW DARE YOU CREASE MOMMIE'S

GIVE HER A BIG SERVILE HUG.
HOW DARE YOU CREASE MOMMIE'S
DRESS?!

HOW DARE YOU CREASE MOMMIE'S
DRESS?!
AAH!

DRESS?!
AAH!
AAH!

AAH!
AAH!
[SIGHS]

AAH!
[SIGHS]
NOW, DARLING, BEFORE COMPANY

[SIGHS]
NOW, DARLING, BEFORE COMPANY
ARRIVES, IT'S TIME FOR CHARM

NOW, DARLING, BEFORE COMPANY
ARRIVES, IT'S TIME FOR CHARM
DRILL.

ARRIVES, IT'S TIME FOR CHARM
DRILL.
JUST DO EVERYTHING THAT MOMMIE

DRILL.
JUST DO EVERYTHING THAT MOMMIE
DOES.

JUST DO EVERYTHING THAT MOMMIE
DOES.
OH, AND DON'T FORGET, CHRISTINA,

DOES.
OH, AND DON'T FORGET, CHRISTINA,
IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE IN FRONT OF

OH, AND DON'T FORGET, CHRISTINA,
IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE IN FRONT OF
THE COMPANY, MOMMIE WILL CUT YOU

IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE IN FRONT OF
THE COMPANY, MOMMIE WILL CUT YOU
OUT OF HER WILL.

THE COMPANY, MOMMIE WILL CUT YOU
OUT OF HER WILL.
NOW, WHEN YOU ENTER A ROOM, TAKE

OUT OF HER WILL.
NOW, WHEN YOU ENTER A ROOM, TAKE
POSSESSION OF IT.

NOW, WHEN YOU ENTER A ROOM, TAKE
POSSESSION OF IT.
REMEMBER, YOU'RE ALWAYS IN

POSSESSION OF IT.
REMEMBER, YOU'RE ALWAYS IN
COMMAND.

REMEMBER, YOU'RE ALWAYS IN
COMMAND.
WHEN MOMMIE'S IN THE ROOM,

COMMAND.
WHEN MOMMIE'S IN THE ROOM,
YOU'RE SECOND IN COMMAND.

WHEN MOMMIE'S IN THE ROOM,
YOU'RE SECOND IN COMMAND.
CAST A SPELL OVER THE ROOM!

YOU'RE SECOND IN COMMAND.
CAST A SPELL OVER THE ROOM!
BEWITCH THEM WITH YOUR GAZE.

CAST A SPELL OVER THE ROOM!
BEWITCH THEM WITH YOUR GAZE.
SHOW OFF YOUR DRESS LIKE SO.

BEWITCH THEM WITH YOUR GAZE.
SHOW OFF YOUR DRESS LIKE SO.
GLIDE, FLOAT, TWIRL, CURTSY.

SHOW OFF YOUR DRESS LIKE SO.
GLIDE, FLOAT, TWIRL, CURTSY.
YOU CLUMSY...

GLIDE, FLOAT, TWIRL, CURTSY.
YOU CLUMSY...
OH, I BEGRUDGE YOU EVERY OUNCE

YOU CLUMSY...
OH, I BEGRUDGE YOU EVERY OUNCE
OF OXYGEN!

OH, I BEGRUDGE YOU EVERY OUNCE
OF OXYGEN!
NOW COME AND GIVE MOMMIE A KISS.

OF OXYGEN!
NOW COME AND GIVE MOMMIE A KISS.
OH, DEAR.

NOW COME AND GIVE MOMMIE A KISS.
OH, DEAR.
YOU'RE WEARING LIPSTICK.

OH, DEAR.
YOU'RE WEARING LIPSTICK.
YOU IGNORANT LITTLE SLUT!

YOU'RE WEARING LIPSTICK.
YOU IGNORANT LITTLE SLUT!
GO WASH IT OFF THIS SECOND!

YOU IGNORANT LITTLE SLUT!
GO WASH IT OFF THIS SECOND!
MISS CRAWFORD, IT'S

GO WASH IT OFF THIS SECOND!
MISS CRAWFORD, IT'S
ARCHER ARMSTRONG FROM

MISS CRAWFORD, IT'S
ARCHER ARMSTRONG FROM
THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER.

ARCHER ARMSTRONG FROM
THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER.
SHOW HIM IN, BULA.

THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER.
SHOW HIM IN, BULA.
YEAH?

DARLING, WELCOME TO MY
HUMBLE...
MISS CRAWFORD, MERRY

HUMBLE...
MISS CRAWFORD, MERRY
CHRISTMAS.

MISS CRAWFORD, MERRY
CHRISTMAS.
IT'S SO KIND OF YOU TO HAVE ME

CHRISTMAS.
IT'S SO KIND OF YOU TO HAVE ME
HERE TODAY.

IT'S SO KIND OF YOU TO HAVE ME
HERE TODAY.
THANK YOU.

HERE TODAY.
THANK YOU.
AND THERE SHE IS.

THANK YOU.
AND THERE SHE IS.
THERE'S THE PERSON I REALLY CAME

AND THERE SHE IS.
THERE'S THE PERSON I REALLY CAME
TO TALK WITH.

THERE'S THE PERSON I REALLY CAME
TO TALK WITH.
YOU MUST BE THE LUCKIEST LITTLE

TO TALK WITH.
YOU MUST BE THE LUCKIEST LITTLE
GIRL IN ALL OF HOLLYWOOD, AREN'T

YOU MUST BE THE LUCKIEST LITTLE
GIRL IN ALL OF HOLLYWOOD, AREN'T
YOU?

GIRL IN ALL OF HOLLYWOOD, AREN'T
YOU?
DO YOU WANT TO BE A GREAT BIG

YOU?
DO YOU WANT TO BE A GREAT BIG
MOVIE START JUST LIKE MOMMIE?

DO YOU WANT TO BE A GREAT BIG
MOVIE START JUST LIKE MOMMIE?
IS THAT A NEW DOLLY?

MOVIE START JUST LIKE MOMMIE?
IS THAT A NEW DOLLY?
WHAT'S HER NAME?

IS THAT A NEW DOLLY?
WHAT'S HER NAME?
WAS SANTA GOOD TO YOU THIS YEAR?

WHAT'S HER NAME?
WAS SANTA GOOD TO YOU THIS YEAR?
DO YOU MIND IF I SET YOUR HAIR

WAS SANTA GOOD TO YOU THIS YEAR?
DO YOU MIND IF I SET YOUR HAIR
ON FIRE?

DO YOU MIND IF I SET YOUR HAIR
ON FIRE?
WELL, AREN'T YOU THE LITTLE SHY

ON FIRE?
WELL, AREN'T YOU THE LITTLE SHY
ONE?

WELL, AREN'T YOU THE LITTLE SHY
ONE?
IT'S TOO BAD YOU WEREN'T HERE

ONE?
IT'S TOO BAD YOU WEREN'T HERE
EARLIER.

IT'S TOO BAD YOU WEREN'T HERE
EARLIER.
SHE WAS TALKING A BLUE STREAK.

EARLIER.
SHE WAS TALKING A BLUE STREAK.
REALLY?

SHE WAS TALKING A BLUE STREAK.
REALLY?
YOU JUST MISSED HER ETHEL MERMAN

REALLY?
YOU JUST MISSED HER ETHEL MERMAN
IMPRESSION.

YOU JUST MISSED HER ETHEL MERMAN
IMPRESSION.
AND WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE

IMPRESSION.
AND WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE
CHRISTMAS PRESENT?

AND WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE
CHRISTMAS PRESENT?
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GIVE HER

CHRISTMAS PRESENT?
I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GIVE HER
HER PRESENT NOW.

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GIVE HER
HER PRESENT NOW.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN,

HER PRESENT NOW.
WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN,
DOESN'T IT, CHRISTINA?

OH, LOOK, PRECIOUS.
IT'S YOUR COLD, CONGEALED,
BLOODY STEAK FROM LAST NIGHT'S

IT'S YOUR COLD, CONGEALED,
BLOODY STEAK FROM LAST NIGHT'S
DINNER THAT YOU GAGGED ON.

BLOODY STEAK FROM LAST NIGHT'S
DINNER THAT YOU GAGGED ON.
NOW, SANTA MADE ME PROMISE THAT

DINNER THAT YOU GAGGED ON.
NOW, SANTA MADE ME PROMISE THAT
I WOULDN'T GIVE YOU ANY PRESENTS

NOW, SANTA MADE ME PROMISE THAT
I WOULDN'T GIVE YOU ANY PRESENTS
UNTIL YOU ATE YOUR MEAT.

I WOULDN'T GIVE YOU ANY PRESENTS
UNTIL YOU ATE YOUR MEAT.
NOW, DON'T GAG ON IT.

UNTIL YOU ATE YOUR MEAT.
NOW, DON'T GAG ON IT.
MISS CRAWFORD, YOUR GUESTS

NOW, DON'T GAG ON IT.
MISS CRAWFORD, YOUR GUESTS
HAVE ARRIVED.

MISS CRAWFORD, YOUR GUESTS
HAVE ARRIVED.
[Laughing] OH!

HAVE ARRIVED.
[Laughing] OH!
SHOW THEM IN.

[Laughing] OH!
SHOW THEM IN.
OH, AND, BULA, WHY DON'T YOU

SHOW THEM IN.
OH, AND, BULA, WHY DON'T YOU
BRING IN SOME OF THOSE DELICIOUS

OH, AND, BULA, WHY DON'T YOU
BRING IN SOME OF THOSE DELICIOUS
CHRISTMAS CAKES AND COOKIES

BRING IN SOME OF THOSE DELICIOUS
CHRISTMAS CAKES AND COOKIES
YOU'VE BEEN BAKING ALL

CHRISTMAS CAKES AND COOKIES
YOU'VE BEEN BAKING ALL
AFTERNOON.

YOU'VE BEEN BAKING ALL
AFTERNOON.
OH, AND SOME EGGNOG FOR

AFTERNOON.
OH, AND SOME EGGNOG FOR
MR. ARMSTRONG.

OH, AND SOME EGGNOG FOR
MR. ARMSTRONG.
OH, I'D LOVE SOME.

MR. ARMSTRONG.
OH, I'D LOVE SOME.
YEAH.

OH, I'D LOVE SOME.
YEAH.
GUESS WHO'S HERE?

YEAH.
GUESS WHO'S HERE?
MERRY CHRISTMAS.

GUESS WHO'S HERE?
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OH, GOD, DARLINGS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OH, GOD, DARLINGS.
HOW TERRIBLY SWEET OF YOU TO

OH, GOD, DARLINGS.
HOW TERRIBLY SWEET OF YOU TO
DROP BY.

HOW TERRIBLY SWEET OF YOU TO
DROP BY.
ARCHER ARMSTRONG, MY DEAR

DROP BY.
ARCHER ARMSTRONG, MY DEAR
FRIEND CLARK GABLE.

ARCHER ARMSTRONG, MY DEAR
FRIEND CLARK GABLE.
HOW DO YOU DO?

FRIEND CLARK GABLE.
HOW DO YOU DO?
CLARK.

HOW DO YOU DO?
CLARK.
CARY GRANT.

CLARK.
CARY GRANT.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU,

CARY GRANT.
PLEASED TO MEET YOU,
ARMSTRONG.

PLEASED TO MEET YOU,
ARMSTRONG.
AND KATHARINE HEPBURN.

ARMSTRONG.
AND KATHARINE HEPBURN.
HOW DO YOU DO?

AND KATHARINE HEPBURN.
HOW DO YOU DO?
CHRISTINA.

HOW DO YOU DO?
CHRISTINA.
CHRISTINA, BE A LAMB AND TAKE

CHRISTINA.
CHRISTINA, BE A LAMB AND TAKE
EVERYONE'S COATS.

CHRISTINA, BE A LAMB AND TAKE
EVERYONE'S COATS.
HELLO, SWEETIE.

EVERYONE'S COATS.
HELLO, SWEETIE.
THANKS A LOT, SWEETIE.

HELLO, SWEETIE.
THANKS A LOT, SWEETIE.
OH, YOU LOOK LOVELY.

THANKS A LOT, SWEETIE.
OH, YOU LOOK LOVELY.
OH, THANK YOU FOR COMING.

OH, YOU LOOK LOVELY.
OH, THANK YOU FOR COMING.
OH, DARLING, YOU LOOK

OH, THANK YOU FOR COMING.
OH, DARLING, YOU LOOK
WONDERFUL.

OH, DARLING, YOU LOOK
WONDERFUL.
I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH JEWELRY,

WONDERFUL.
I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH JEWELRY,
JEWELRY, JEWELRY.

I'VE NEVER SEEN SO MUCH JEWELRY,
JEWELRY, JEWELRY.
OH, THANK YOU.

JEWELRY, JEWELRY.
OH, THANK YOU.
OH, KATE, YOU POOR THING.

OH, THANK YOU.
OH, KATE, YOU POOR THING.
YOU LOOK DREADFUL.

OH, KATE, YOU POOR THING.
YOU LOOK DREADFUL.
WHERE'S SPENCER?

YOU LOOK DREADFUL.
WHERE'S SPENCER?
SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH

WHERE'S SPENCER?
SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH
MRS. TRACY AND HIS REAL FAMILY?

SPENDING CHRISTMAS WITH
MRS. TRACY AND HIS REAL FAMILY?
WELL, YES.

MRS. TRACY AND HIS REAL FAMILY?
WELL, YES.
YES, IN FACT, HE IS.

WELL, YES.
YES, IN FACT, HE IS.
AND YOU'RE A REAL BITCH TO

YES, IN FACT, HE IS.
AND YOU'RE A REAL BITCH TO
MENTION IT.

NOW, REMEMBER, CHRISTINA,
DON'T TELL AUNTIE KATHARINE HOW
MANY DIFFERENT UNCLES WE HAVE.

DON'T TELL AUNTIE KATHARINE HOW
MANY DIFFERENT UNCLES WE HAVE.
AH, CHRISTINA.

MANY DIFFERENT UNCLES WE HAVE.
AH, CHRISTINA.
CHRISTINA.

AH, CHRISTINA.
CHRISTINA.
LISTEN, CHRISTINA, DARLING,

CHRISTINA.
LISTEN, CHRISTINA, DARLING,
ENTRE NOUS, HOW MANY MEN DOES

LISTEN, CHRISTINA, DARLING,
ENTRE NOUS, HOW MANY MEN DOES
YOUR MOMMIE SLEEP WITH?

ENTRE NOUS, HOW MANY MEN DOES
YOUR MOMMIE SLEEP WITH?
THREE?

YOUR MOMMIE SLEEP WITH?
THREE?
FOUR? FIVE?

THREE?
FOUR? FIVE?
JUST PAW THE FLOOR WITH YOUR

FOUR? FIVE?
JUST PAW THE FLOOR WITH YOUR
FOOT, DEAR.

OH, YES. WELL, YOU DON'T SAY.
NO WONDER SHE HAS NO TIME TO
PLUCK HER EYEBROWS.

NO WONDER SHE HAS NO TIME TO
PLUCK HER EYEBROWS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, PRINCESS.

PLUCK HER EYEBROWS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, PRINCESS.
SORRY ABOUT CAROLE, CLARK.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, PRINCESS.
SORRY ABOUT CAROLE, CLARK.
ARE YOU DATING ANYONE YET?

SORRY ABOUT CAROLE, CLARK.
ARE YOU DATING ANYONE YET?
NO, NOT YET.

ARE YOU DATING ANYONE YET?
NO, NOT YET.
IT TAKES SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL TO

NO, NOT YET.
IT TAKES SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL TO
HELP YOU FORGET SOMEONE VERY

IT TAKES SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL TO
HELP YOU FORGET SOMEONE VERY
SPECIAL.

HELP YOU FORGET SOMEONE VERY
SPECIAL.
I'M VERY SPECIAL.

SPECIAL.
I'M VERY SPECIAL.
FRANKLY, MY DEAR, I COULD

I'M VERY SPECIAL.
FRANKLY, MY DEAR, I COULD
NEVER MAKE LOVE TO SOMEONE WHOSE

FRANKLY, MY DEAR, I COULD
NEVER MAKE LOVE TO SOMEONE WHOSE
SHOULDERS ARE BIGGER THAN MINE.

NEVER MAKE LOVE TO SOMEONE WHOSE
SHOULDERS ARE BIGGER THAN MINE.
HERE, DUCHESS.

SHOULDERS ARE BIGGER THAN MINE.
HERE, DUCHESS.
HERE'S SOMETHING THAT SANTA

HERE, DUCHESS.
HERE'S SOMETHING THAT SANTA
PERSONALLY TOLD ME YOU WANTED.

HERE'S SOMETHING THAT SANTA
PERSONALLY TOLD ME YOU WANTED.
OH, LOOK, DARLING!

PERSONALLY TOLD ME YOU WANTED.
OH, LOOK, DARLING!
UNCLE CLARK BROUGHT YOU A POUND

OH, LOOK, DARLING!
UNCLE CLARK BROUGHT YOU A POUND
OF RAW CHUCK.

UNCLE CLARK BROUGHT YOU A POUND
OF RAW CHUCK.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

OF RAW CHUCK.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
THANK YOU!

WHAT DO YOU SAY?
THANK YOU!
I WANTED TO BUY YOU A

THANK YOU!
I WANTED TO BUY YOU A
BEAUTIFUL SHETLAND PONY LIKE

I WANTED TO BUY YOU A
BEAUTIFUL SHETLAND PONY LIKE
BONNIE BLUE BUTLER'S, BUT THEN

BEAUTIFUL SHETLAND PONY LIKE
BONNIE BLUE BUTLER'S, BUT THEN
YOUR MOMMIE TOLD ME HOW MUCH YOU

BONNIE BLUE BUTLER'S, BUT THEN
YOUR MOMMIE TOLD ME HOW MUCH YOU
LOVE RAW CHUCK.

YOUR MOMMIE TOLD ME HOW MUCH YOU
LOVE RAW CHUCK.
SO I BOUGHT YOU RAW CHUCK.

LOVE RAW CHUCK.
SO I BOUGHT YOU RAW CHUCK.
I THINK UNCLE CARY HAS A LITTLE

SO I BOUGHT YOU RAW CHUCK.
I THINK UNCLE CARY HAS A LITTLE
PRESENT FOR YOU, TOO.

I THINK UNCLE CARY HAS A LITTLE
PRESENT FOR YOU, TOO.
HERE, MY DARLING.

PRESENT FOR YOU, TOO.
HERE, MY DARLING.
LOOK WHAT SANTA BROUGHT YOU ALL

HERE, MY DARLING.
LOOK WHAT SANTA BROUGHT YOU ALL
THE WAY FROM THE NORTH POLE.

LOOK WHAT SANTA BROUGHT YOU ALL
THE WAY FROM THE NORTH POLE.
OH, LOOK, CHRISTINA.

THE WAY FROM THE NORTH POLE.
OH, LOOK, CHRISTINA.
UNCLE CARY BROUGHT YOU 2 POUNDS

OH, LOOK, CHRISTINA.
UNCLE CARY BROUGHT YOU 2 POUNDS
OF RAW LIVER!

UNCLE CARY BROUGHT YOU 2 POUNDS
OF RAW LIVER!
[LAUGHS]

OF RAW LIVER!
[LAUGHS]
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

[LAUGHS]
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
THANK YOU!

WHAT DO YOU SAY?
THANK YOU!
WELL, I WAS GOING TO TAKE YOU

THANK YOU!
WELL, I WAS GOING TO TAKE YOU
TO THE CIRCUS WITH ME AND CARRY

WELL, I WAS GOING TO TAKE YOU
TO THE CIRCUS WITH ME AND CARRY
YOU AROUND ON MY SHOULDERS AND

TO THE CIRCUS WITH ME AND CARRY
YOU AROUND ON MY SHOULDERS AND
PUT YOU UP, CARRY YOU AROUND,

YOU AROUND ON MY SHOULDERS AND
PUT YOU UP, CARRY YOU AROUND,
BUY YOU CARAMEL CORN AND COTTON

PUT YOU UP, CARRY YOU AROUND,
BUY YOU CARAMEL CORN AND COTTON
CANDY AND TAFFY APPLES, BUT THEN

BUY YOU CARAMEL CORN AND COTTON
CANDY AND TAFFY APPLES, BUT THEN
YOUR MOMMIE TOLD ME HOW MUCH

CANDY AND TAFFY APPLES, BUT THEN
YOUR MOMMIE TOLD ME HOW MUCH
YOU'D RATHER HAVE RAW LIVER.

YOUR MOMMIE TOLD ME HOW MUCH
YOU'D RATHER HAVE RAW LIVER.
MMM.

YOU'D RATHER HAVE RAW LIVER.
MMM.
I CAN SEE SHE'S HER MOTHER'S

MMM.
I CAN SEE SHE'S HER MOTHER'S
DAUGHTER.

I CAN SEE SHE'S HER MOTHER'S
DAUGHTER.
SHE ALREADY HAS A TASTE FOR

DAUGHTER.
SHE ALREADY HAS A TASTE FOR
BLOOD.

SHE ALREADY HAS A TASTE FOR
BLOOD.
CHRISTINA, WITH SO MANY

BLOOD.
CHRISTINA, WITH SO MANY
LOVELY PRESENTS, YOU WON'T BE

CHRISTINA, WITH SO MANY
LOVELY PRESENTS, YOU WON'T BE
NEEDING YOUR LITTLE DOLLY

LOVELY PRESENTS, YOU WON'T BE
NEEDING YOUR LITTLE DOLLY
ANYMORE.

NEEDING YOUR LITTLE DOLLY
ANYMORE.
WHY DON'T I JUST GIVE IT TO THE

ANYMORE.
WHY DON'T I JUST GIVE IT TO THE
POOR CHILDREN?

WHY DON'T I JUST GIVE IT TO THE
POOR CHILDREN?
[LAUGHS]

POOR CHILDREN?
[LAUGHS]
YOU KNOW, I THINK I HAVE THE

[LAUGHS]
YOU KNOW, I THINK I HAVE THE
PERFECT HEADLINE FOR MY STORY...

YOU KNOW, I THINK I HAVE THE
PERFECT HEADLINE FOR MY STORY...
"JOAN CRAWFORD: HOLLYWOOD'S

PERFECT HEADLINE FOR MY STORY...
"JOAN CRAWFORD: HOLLYWOOD'S
BIGGEST MOTHER."

"JOAN CRAWFORD: HOLLYWOOD'S
BIGGEST MOTHER."
DID I EVER SHOW YOU THIS?

BIGGEST MOTHER."
DID I EVER SHOW YOU THIS?
THE ACADEMY GAVE IT TO ME FOR

DID I EVER SHOW YOU THIS?
THE ACADEMY GAVE IT TO ME FOR
"MILDRED PIERCE," BUT I REALLY

THE ACADEMY GAVE IT TO ME FOR
"MILDRED PIERCE," BUT I REALLY
DON'T DESERVE IT FOR THAT.

"MILDRED PIERCE," BUT I REALLY
DON'T DESERVE IT FOR THAT.
I DESERVE IT FOR THE GREATEST

DON'T DESERVE IT FOR THAT.
I DESERVE IT FOR THE GREATEST
ROLE OF MY ENTIRE CAREER...

I DESERVE IT FOR THE GREATEST
ROLE OF MY ENTIRE CAREER...
PORTRAYING CHRISTINA'S MOTHER.

"THANK YOU, MOMMIE DEAREST,
FOR THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT
OF ALL, THE ONE YOU NEVER KNEW

FOR THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT
OF ALL, THE ONE YOU NEVER KNEW
YOU GAVE, THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON

OF ALL, THE ONE YOU NEVER KNEW
YOU GAVE, THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON
GIVING, MY NEW BESTSELLER,

YOU GAVE, THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON
GIVING, MY NEW BESTSELLER,
"MOMMIE DEAREST."

GIVING, MY NEW BESTSELLER,
"MOMMIE DEAREST."
♪ AND MAY ALL YOUR

"MOMMIE DEAREST."
♪ AND MAY ALL YOUR
CHRISTMASES BE WHITE ♪

JIMMY CARTER PUTS OUT A
FEELER IN CONNECTICUT.
THIS STORY AND MORE COMING UP ON

FEELER IN CONNECTICUT.
THIS STORY AND MORE COMING UP ON
"WEEKEND UPDATE."

THIS STORY AND MORE COMING UP ON
"WEEKEND UPDATE."
Announcer: AND NOW

"WEEKEND UPDATE."
Announcer: AND NOW
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE

Announcer: AND NOW
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE
"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.

"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH THE
"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
HERE ARE BILL MURRAY AND

"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
HERE ARE BILL MURRAY AND
JANE CURTIN.

HERE ARE BILL MURRAY AND
JANE CURTIN.
GOOD EVENING.

JANE CURTIN.
GOOD EVENING.
I'M JANE CURTIN.

GOOD EVENING.
I'M JANE CURTIN.
HERE, NOW, THE NEWS.

I'M JANE CURTIN.
HERE, NOW, THE NEWS.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT.

HERE, NOW, THE NEWS.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT.
THE FIRST TRUCKLOAD OF REFUGEES

OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT.
THE FIRST TRUCKLOAD OF REFUGEES
FROM CLEVELAND ARRIVED IN

THE FIRST TRUCKLOAD OF REFUGEES
FROM CLEVELAND ARRIVED IN
NEW YORK THIS MORNING.

FROM CLEVELAND ARRIVED IN
NEW YORK THIS MORNING.
MEANWHILE, THE CITY OF

NEW YORK THIS MORNING.
MEANWHILE, THE CITY OF
CLEVELAND, WHICH DEFAULTED AT

MEANWHILE, THE CITY OF
CLEVELAND, WHICH DEFAULTED AT
MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT, HAS CHANGED

CLEVELAND, WHICH DEFAULTED AT
MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT, HAS CHANGED
ITS NAME AND MOVED TO ARIZONA TO

MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT, HAS CHANGED
ITS NAME AND MOVED TO ARIZONA TO
GET A FRESH START.

ITS NAME AND MOVED TO ARIZONA TO
GET A FRESH START.
DURING THE PRESENT CRISIS

GET A FRESH START.
DURING THE PRESENT CRISIS
IN IRAN, THE SHAH HAS PROMISED

DURING THE PRESENT CRISIS
IN IRAN, THE SHAH HAS PROMISED
TO EASE UP ON HUMAN-RIGHTS

IN IRAN, THE SHAH HAS PROMISED
TO EASE UP ON HUMAN-RIGHTS
VIOLATIONS.

TO EASE UP ON HUMAN-RIGHTS
VIOLATIONS.
BUT YESTERDAY, IN TEHERAN,

VIOLATIONS.
BUT YESTERDAY, IN TEHERAN,
IRAN'S MILITARY POLICE FORCED

BUT YESTERDAY, IN TEHERAN,
IRAN'S MILITARY POLICE FORCED
THOUSANDS OF MUSLIMS TO COMB THE

IRAN'S MILITARY POLICE FORCED
THOUSANDS OF MUSLIMS TO COMB THE
STREETS FOR THE SHAH'S CONTACT

THOUSANDS OF MUSLIMS TO COMB THE
STREETS FOR THE SHAH'S CONTACT
LENS.

STREETS FOR THE SHAH'S CONTACT
LENS.
"WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS LEARNED

LENS.
"WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS LEARNED
THAT THE ESTABLISHMENT OF

"WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS LEARNED
THAT THE ESTABLISHMENT OF
DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH RED

THAT THE ESTABLISHMENT OF
DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH RED
CHINA IS A DIRECT RESULT OF

DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH RED
CHINA IS A DIRECT RESULT OF
YESTERDAY'S FEDERAL DRUG BUST AT

CHINA IS A DIRECT RESULT OF
YESTERDAY'S FEDERAL DRUG BUST AT
THE NEW YORK DISCO STUDIO 54.

YESTERDAY'S FEDERAL DRUG BUST AT
THE NEW YORK DISCO STUDIO 54.
THE GOAL IS AN EXCHANGE OF

THE NEW YORK DISCO STUDIO 54.
THE GOAL IS AN EXCHANGE OF
CELEBRITIES BETWEEN THE

THE GOAL IS AN EXCHANGE OF
CELEBRITIES BETWEEN THE
UNITED STATES AND CHINA, WHICH

CELEBRITIES BETWEEN THE
UNITED STATES AND CHINA, WHICH
WILL THEN CHANGE ITS NAME TO THE

UNITED STATES AND CHINA, WHICH
WILL THEN CHANGE ITS NAME TO THE
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC.

WILL THEN CHANGE ITS NAME TO THE
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC.
AND NOW FOLLOWING UP ON THE

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC.
AND NOW FOLLOWING UP ON THE
STUDIO 54 STORY IS

AND NOW FOLLOWING UP ON THE
STUDIO 54 STORY IS
"WEEKEND UPDATE" CORRESPONDENT

STUDIO 54 STORY IS
"WEEKEND UPDATE" CORRESPONDENT
LARAINE NEWMAN OUTSIDE

"WEEKEND UPDATE" CORRESPONDENT
LARAINE NEWMAN OUTSIDE
STUDIO 54.

LARAINE NEWMAN OUTSIDE
STUDIO 54.
LARAINE?

STUDIO 54.
LARAINE?
THANK YOU, BILL.

LARAINE?
THANK YOU, BILL.
IN THE WEE HOURS LAST THURSDAY

THANK YOU, BILL.
IN THE WEE HOURS LAST THURSDAY
MORNING, I.R.S. AGENTS RAIDED

IN THE WEE HOURS LAST THURSDAY
MORNING, I.R.S. AGENTS RAIDED
THIS GLAMOROUS PLAYGROUND FOR

MORNING, I.R.S. AGENTS RAIDED
THIS GLAMOROUS PLAYGROUND FOR
THE ELITE TO CONFISCATE THE

THIS GLAMOROUS PLAYGROUND FOR
THE ELITE TO CONFISCATE THE
CLUB'S FINANCIAL RECORDS.

THE ELITE TO CONFISCATE THE
CLUB'S FINANCIAL RECORDS.
AND, IN THE PROCESS, THEY

CLUB'S FINANCIAL RECORDS.
AND, IN THE PROCESS, THEY
DISCOVERED 2 OUNCES OF COCAINE.

AND, IN THE PROCESS, THEY
DISCOVERED 2 OUNCES OF COCAINE.
THE SCANDAL HAS GIVEN CREDENCE

DISCOVERED 2 OUNCES OF COCAINE.
THE SCANDAL HAS GIVEN CREDENCE
TO THE RUMOR THAT THE ILLICIT

THE SCANDAL HAS GIVEN CREDENCE
TO THE RUMOR THAT THE ILLICIT
NARCOTIC KNOWN IN DRUG CIRCLES

TO THE RUMOR THAT THE ILLICIT
NARCOTIC KNOWN IN DRUG CIRCLES
AS COKE, DISCO DUST, AND

NARCOTIC KNOWN IN DRUG CIRCLES
AS COKE, DISCO DUST, AND
PERUVIAN MARCHING POWDER...

AS COKE, DISCO DUST, AND
PERUVIAN MARCHING POWDER...
HAS BEEN COMMONPLACE HERE AT

PERUVIAN MARCHING POWDER...
HAS BEEN COMMONPLACE HERE AT
STUDIO 54.

HAS BEEN COMMONPLACE HERE AT
STUDIO 54.
STANDING NEXT TO ME IS

STUDIO 54.
STANDING NEXT TO ME IS
STEVE RUBELL, CO-OWNER OF THE

STANDING NEXT TO ME IS
STEVE RUBELL, CO-OWNER OF THE
CLUB.

STEVE RUBELL, CO-OWNER OF THE
CLUB.
STEVE, WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION

CLUB.
STEVE, WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION
WHEN YOU LEARNED COCAINE HAD

STEVE, WHAT WAS YOUR REACTION
WHEN YOU LEARNED COCAINE HAD
BEEN FOUND HERE?

WHEN YOU LEARNED COCAINE HAD
BEEN FOUND HERE?
I WAS SHOCKED.

BEEN FOUND HERE?
I WAS SHOCKED.
YOU MEAN THAT, UH, YOU'VE

I WAS SHOCKED.
YOU MEAN THAT, UH, YOU'VE
NEVER SEEN COCAINE HERE BEFORE?

YOU MEAN THAT, UH, YOU'VE
NEVER SEEN COCAINE HERE BEFORE?
LISTEN, STUDIO 54 IS A PLACE

NEVER SEEN COCAINE HERE BEFORE?
LISTEN, STUDIO 54 IS A PLACE
WHERE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE CAN DANCE

LISTEN, STUDIO 54 IS A PLACE
WHERE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE CAN DANCE
AND HAVE FUN.

WHERE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE CAN DANCE
AND HAVE FUN.
I CAN'T BE SEARCHING EVERYBODY

AND HAVE FUN.
I CAN'T BE SEARCHING EVERYBODY
WHO COMES IN HERE.

I CAN'T BE SEARCHING EVERYBODY
WHO COMES IN HERE.
APPARENTLY, THIS WAS GOING ON

WHO COMES IN HERE.
APPARENTLY, THIS WAS GOING ON
RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE.

APPARENTLY, THIS WAS GOING ON
RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE.
AND, APPARENTLY, IT STILL IS.

RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE.
AND, APPARENTLY, IT STILL IS.
LARAINE NEWMAN, OUTSIDE

AND, APPARENTLY, IT STILL IS.
LARAINE NEWMAN, OUTSIDE
STUDIO 54.

LARAINE NEWMAN, OUTSIDE
STUDIO 54.
LISTEN, STEVE, THIS DOESN'T

STUDIO 54.
LISTEN, STEVE, THIS DOESN'T
CHANGE ANYTHING.

LISTEN, STEVE, THIS DOESN'T
CHANGE ANYTHING.
MY NAME WILL STILL BE AT THE

CHANGE ANYTHING.
MY NAME WILL STILL BE AT THE
GATE, RIGHT?

MY NAME WILL STILL BE AT THE
GATE, RIGHT?
YEAH, YOU'LL BE...

GATE, RIGHT?
YEAH, YOU'LL BE...
YOU CAN GET IN ANY TIME YOU

YEAH, YOU'LL BE...
YOU CAN GET IN ANY TIME YOU
WANT.

YOU CAN GET IN ANY TIME YOU
WANT.
GREAT. OKAY.

WANT.
GREAT. OKAY.
PRESIDENT CARTER SUMMONED

GREAT. OKAY.
PRESIDENT CARTER SUMMONED
SECRETARY OF STATE CYRUS VANCE

PRESIDENT CARTER SUMMONED
SECRETARY OF STATE CYRUS VANCE
TO THE WHITE HOUSE EARLY TODAY

SECRETARY OF STATE CYRUS VANCE
TO THE WHITE HOUSE EARLY TODAY
AND, IN A TWO-HOUR MEETING,

TO THE WHITE HOUSE EARLY TODAY
AND, IN A TWO-HOUR MEETING,
EXPLAINED TO VANCE WHAT A LITTLE

AND, IN A TWO-HOUR MEETING,
EXPLAINED TO VANCE WHAT A LITTLE
DINK HE IS.

EXPLAINED TO VANCE WHAT A LITTLE
DINK HE IS.
VANCE LATER CALLED THE TALKS

DINK HE IS.
VANCE LATER CALLED THE TALKS
USEFUL AND PRODUCTIVE.

VANCE LATER CALLED THE TALKS
USEFUL AND PRODUCTIVE.
BILL?

USEFUL AND PRODUCTIVE.
BILL?
GIVE OR TAKE A FEW HOURS,

BILL?
GIVE OR TAKE A FEW HOURS,
TODAY IS THE 208th BIRTHDAY OF

GIVE OR TAKE A FEW HOURS,
TODAY IS THE 208th BIRTHDAY OF
LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN.

TODAY IS THE 208th BIRTHDAY OF
LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN.
SO I'D LIKE TO SING A LITTLE

LUDWIG VAN BEETHOVEN.
SO I'D LIKE TO SING A LITTLE
SOMETHING TO HIM.

SO I'D LIKE TO SING A LITTLE
SOMETHING TO HIM.
♪ HAPPY BIRTHD-A-A-A-AY ♪

SOMETHING TO HIM.
♪ HAPPY BIRTHD-A-A-A-AY ♪
♪ LUDWIG VAN B-E-E-E-E ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHD-A-A-A-AY ♪
♪ LUDWIG VAN B-E-E-E-E ♪
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU OLD

♪ LUDWIG VAN B-E-E-E-E ♪
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU OLD
KNACKWURST HEAD.

GET OUT OF HERE, YOU OLD
KNACKWURST HEAD.
NOMINATIONS FOR "UPDATE'S

KNACKWURST HEAD.
NOMINATIONS FOR "UPDATE'S
QUOTE OF THE YEAR" PILED UP OVER

NOMINATIONS FOR "UPDATE'S
QUOTE OF THE YEAR" PILED UP OVER
THE MONTHS, AND EVEN THOUGH TWO

QUOTE OF THE YEAR" PILED UP OVER
THE MONTHS, AND EVEN THOUGH TWO
WEEKS REMAIN IN THE YEAR, THE

THE MONTHS, AND EVEN THOUGH TWO
WEEKS REMAIN IN THE YEAR, THE
FRONT-RUNNING QUOTE LOOKS HARD

WEEKS REMAIN IN THE YEAR, THE
FRONT-RUNNING QUOTE LOOKS HARD
TO BEAT.

FRONT-RUNNING QUOTE LOOKS HARD
TO BEAT.
COMES FROM THE FORMER MEMBER OF

TO BEAT.
COMES FROM THE FORMER MEMBER OF
"TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN"...

COMES FROM THE FORMER MEMBER OF
"TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN"...
TONY ORLANDO HIMSELF.

"TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN"...
TONY ORLANDO HIMSELF.
IT WAS ON BOB HOPE'S 75th

TONY ORLANDO HIMSELF.
IT WAS ON BOB HOPE'S 75th
BIRTHDAY SPECIAL THAT TONY SAID,

IT WAS ON BOB HOPE'S 75th
BIRTHDAY SPECIAL THAT TONY SAID,
AND I QUOTE HERE, "IF YOU COULD

BIRTHDAY SPECIAL THAT TONY SAID,
AND I QUOTE HERE, "IF YOU COULD
PUT ALL THE LAUGHS THAT BOB HOPE

AND I QUOTE HERE, "IF YOU COULD
PUT ALL THE LAUGHS THAT BOB HOPE
HAS GOTTEN ONE AFTER ANOTHER,

PUT ALL THE LAUGHS THAT BOB HOPE
HAS GOTTEN ONE AFTER ANOTHER,
THEY WOULD STRETCH ALL THE WAY

HAS GOTTEN ONE AFTER ANOTHER,
THEY WOULD STRETCH ALL THE WAY
TO THE UNIVERSE AND FILL UP THE

THEY WOULD STRETCH ALL THE WAY
TO THE UNIVERSE AND FILL UP THE
BLACK HOLE IN SPACE."

TO THE UNIVERSE AND FILL UP THE
BLACK HOLE IN SPACE."
JANE?

BLACK HOLE IN SPACE."
JANE?
GREAT QUOTE, BILL.

JANE?
GREAT QUOTE, BILL.
AN UPDATE CHRISTMAS-GIFT

GREAT QUOTE, BILL.
AN UPDATE CHRISTMAS-GIFT
SUGGESTION.

AN UPDATE CHRISTMAS-GIFT
SUGGESTION.
IF YOUR LIST INCLUDES A SMALL

SUGGESTION.
IF YOUR LIST INCLUDES A SMALL
CHILD WHO IS DULL, BORING, AND

IF YOUR LIST INCLUDES A SMALL
CHILD WHO IS DULL, BORING, AND
UNIMAGINATIVE, THE PERFECT

CHILD WHO IS DULL, BORING, AND
UNIMAGINATIVE, THE PERFECT
PRESENT MIGHT BE THE CHILD-SIZED

UNIMAGINATIVE, THE PERFECT
PRESENT MIGHT BE THE CHILD-SIZED
CLARK KENT SUIT, COMPLETE WITH

PRESENT MIGHT BE THE CHILD-SIZED
CLARK KENT SUIT, COMPLETE WITH
HORN-RIMMED GLASSES AND A LITTLE

CLARK KENT SUIT, COMPLETE WITH
HORN-RIMMED GLASSES AND A LITTLE
FELT SNAP-BRIM HAT.

HORN-RIMMED GLASSES AND A LITTLE
FELT SNAP-BRIM HAT.
$19.95 AT MOST CHILDREN'S SHOPS.

FELT SNAP-BRIM HAT.
$19.95 AT MOST CHILDREN'S SHOPS.
HELLO.

$19.95 AT MOST CHILDREN'S SHOPS.
HELLO.
I'M DAN AYKROYD, STATION MANAGER

HELLO.
I'M DAN AYKROYD, STATION MANAGER
FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE."

I'M DAN AYKROYD, STATION MANAGER
FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE."
LAST NIGHT, PRESIDENT CARTER

FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE."
LAST NIGHT, PRESIDENT CARTER
ANNOUNCED THAT THE UNITED STATES

LAST NIGHT, PRESIDENT CARTER
ANNOUNCED THAT THE UNITED STATES
AND RED CHINA HAVE AGREED TO

ANNOUNCED THAT THE UNITED STATES
AND RED CHINA HAVE AGREED TO
ESTABLISH FULL DIPLOMATIC

AND RED CHINA HAVE AGREED TO
ESTABLISH FULL DIPLOMATIC
RELATIONS STARTING JANUARY 1st.

ESTABLISH FULL DIPLOMATIC
RELATIONS STARTING JANUARY 1st.
THAT WILL BE THE TOPIC OF

RELATIONS STARTING JANUARY 1st.
THAT WILL BE THE TOPIC OF
TONIGHT'S POINT/COUNTERPOINT

THAT WILL BE THE TOPIC OF
TONIGHT'S POINT/COUNTERPOINT
WITH JANE TAKING THE

TONIGHT'S POINT/COUNTERPOINT
WITH JANE TAKING THE
PRO-RELATIONS POINT, AND I WILL

WITH JANE TAKING THE
PRO-RELATIONS POINT, AND I WILL
TAKE THE ANTI-RELATIONS

PRO-RELATIONS POINT, AND I WILL
TAKE THE ANTI-RELATIONS
COUNTERPOINT.

TAKE THE ANTI-RELATIONS
COUNTERPOINT.
DAN, ONLY A REACTIONARY ASS

COUNTERPOINT.
DAN, ONLY A REACTIONARY ASS
SUCH AS YOURSELF COULD OPPOSE

DAN, ONLY A REACTIONARY ASS
SUCH AS YOURSELF COULD OPPOSE
FULL DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH

SUCH AS YOURSELF COULD OPPOSE
FULL DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH
CHINA.

FULL DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH
CHINA.
AS PRESIDENT CARTER SAID, IT IS

CHINA.
AS PRESIDENT CARTER SAID, IT IS
A SIMPLE RECOGNITION OF REALITY.

AS PRESIDENT CARTER SAID, IT IS
A SIMPLE RECOGNITION OF REALITY.
HOW CAN WE IGNORE 800 MILLION

A SIMPLE RECOGNITION OF REALITY.
HOW CAN WE IGNORE 800 MILLION
PEOPLE?

HOW CAN WE IGNORE 800 MILLION
PEOPLE?
BUT, THEN AGAIN, I GUESS IT'S

PEOPLE?
BUT, THEN AGAIN, I GUESS IT'S
YOUR HABIT TO IGNORE REALITY.

BUT, THEN AGAIN, I GUESS IT'S
YOUR HABIT TO IGNORE REALITY.
YOU'RE A PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC,

YOUR HABIT TO IGNORE REALITY.
YOU'RE A PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC,
DAN, WHOSE POLITICS ARE

YOU'RE A PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC,
DAN, WHOSE POLITICS ARE
OBVIOUSLY BORN OUT OF SOME

DAN, WHOSE POLITICS ARE
OBVIOUSLY BORN OUT OF SOME
BURIED INFANTILE TRAUMA.

OBVIOUSLY BORN OUT OF SOME
BURIED INFANTILE TRAUMA.
YOU HIDE FROM REALITY,

BURIED INFANTILE TRAUMA.
YOU HIDE FROM REALITY,
CONSTRUCTING A HOSTILE WORLD TO

YOU HIDE FROM REALITY,
CONSTRUCTING A HOSTILE WORLD TO
JUSTIFY YOUR OWN INCAPACITY FOR

CONSTRUCTING A HOSTILE WORLD TO
JUSTIFY YOUR OWN INCAPACITY FOR
LOVE AND COMPASSION.

JUSTIFY YOUR OWN INCAPACITY FOR
LOVE AND COMPASSION.
GO AHEAD, DAN.

LOVE AND COMPASSION.
GO AHEAD, DAN.
LIVE IN YOUR DARK, LONELY WORLD.

GO AHEAD, DAN.
LIVE IN YOUR DARK, LONELY WORLD.
THE REST OF US WILL EXTEND OUR

LIVE IN YOUR DARK, LONELY WORLD.
THE REST OF US WILL EXTEND OUR
HANDS IN FRIENDSHIP TO 800

THE REST OF US WILL EXTEND OUR
HANDS IN FRIENDSHIP TO 800
MILLION HUMAN BEINGS, SAYING,

HANDS IN FRIENDSHIP TO 800
MILLION HUMAN BEINGS, SAYING,
"HI, YOU DO EXIST.

MILLION HUMAN BEINGS, SAYING,
"HI, YOU DO EXIST.
LET'S BE FRIENDS."

"HI, YOU DO EXIST.
LET'S BE FRIENDS."
JANE, YOU IGNORANT SLUT.

LET'S BE FRIENDS."
JANE, YOU IGNORANT SLUT.
MY PERSONALITY PROFILE IS NOT AT

JANE, YOU IGNORANT SLUT.
MY PERSONALITY PROFILE IS NOT AT
ISSUE HERE ANY MORE THAN IS YOUR

MY PERSONALITY PROFILE IS NOT AT
ISSUE HERE ANY MORE THAN IS YOUR
INABILITY TO ACHIEVE ORGASM.

ISSUE HERE ANY MORE THAN IS YOUR
INABILITY TO ACHIEVE ORGASM.
THE ISSUE IS TAIWAN.

INABILITY TO ACHIEVE ORGASM.
THE ISSUE IS TAIWAN.
HOW CAN WE EXPECT TO HAVE THE

THE ISSUE IS TAIWAN.
HOW CAN WE EXPECT TO HAVE THE
CONFIDENCE OF ANY FREE NATION

HOW CAN WE EXPECT TO HAVE THE
CONFIDENCE OF ANY FREE NATION
WHEN WE STAB ONE OF OUR MOST

CONFIDENCE OF ANY FREE NATION
WHEN WE STAB ONE OF OUR MOST
FATEFUL ALLIES IN THE BACK?

WHEN WE STAB ONE OF OUR MOST
FATEFUL ALLIES IN THE BACK?
I SUPPOSE YOU'D LIKE TO CONDUCT

FATEFUL ALLIES IN THE BACK?
I SUPPOSE YOU'D LIKE TO CONDUCT
OUR FOREIGN POLICY THE WAY YOU

I SUPPOSE YOU'D LIKE TO CONDUCT
OUR FOREIGN POLICY THE WAY YOU
CONDUCT YOUR PRIVATE LIFE...

OUR FOREIGN POLICY THE WAY YOU
CONDUCT YOUR PRIVATE LIFE...
HOPPING FROM BED TO BED WITH

CONDUCT YOUR PRIVATE LIFE...
HOPPING FROM BED TO BED WITH
ANYONE THAT CAN DO YOU SOME

HOPPING FROM BED TO BED WITH
ANYONE THAT CAN DO YOU SOME
GOOD.

ANYONE THAT CAN DO YOU SOME
GOOD.
THEN WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

GOOD.
THEN WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
AN OLD, DRIED-OUT SCUZ THAT NO

THEN WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
AN OLD, DRIED-OUT SCUZ THAT NO
DECENT MAN WOULD BE SEEN WITH.

AN OLD, DRIED-OUT SCUZ THAT NO
DECENT MAN WOULD BE SEEN WITH.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT FOR

DECENT MAN WOULD BE SEEN WITH.
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT FOR
AMERICA?

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT FOR
AMERICA?
IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOU, JANE, BUT

AMERICA?
IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOU, JANE, BUT
OUR COUNTRY STILL HAS SOME

IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOU, JANE, BUT
OUR COUNTRY STILL HAS SOME
DIGNITY LEFT, YOU HOSEBAG.

OUR COUNTRY STILL HAS SOME
DIGNITY LEFT, YOU HOSEBAG.
THANK YOU, DAN.

DIGNITY LEFT, YOU HOSEBAG.
THANK YOU, DAN.
ACCORDING TO THE AMERICAN

THANK YOU, DAN.
ACCORDING TO THE AMERICAN
PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION,

ACCORDING TO THE AMERICAN
PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION,
PEOPLE ARE MORE DEPRESSED AND

PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATION,
PEOPLE ARE MORE DEPRESSED AND
PRONE TO SUICIDE DURING

PEOPLE ARE MORE DEPRESSED AND
PRONE TO SUICIDE DURING
CHRISTMAS THAN ANY OTHER TIME

PRONE TO SUICIDE DURING
CHRISTMAS THAN ANY OTHER TIME
DURING THE YEAR.

CHRISTMAS THAN ANY OTHER TIME
DURING THE YEAR.
HERE TO COMMENT FURTHER IS

DURING THE YEAR.
HERE TO COMMENT FURTHER IS
CORRESPONDENT

HERE TO COMMENT FURTHER IS
CORRESPONDENT
ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA.

CORRESPONDENT
ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA.
THANKS A LOT, JANE.

ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA.
THANKS A LOT, JANE.
A MR. RICHARD FADER FROM

THANKS A LOT, JANE.
A MR. RICHARD FADER FROM
FORT LEE, NEW JERSEY, SENT ME

A MR. RICHARD FADER FROM
FORT LEE, NEW JERSEY, SENT ME
THIS CHRISTMAS POEM THAT SAYS,

FORT LEE, NEW JERSEY, SENT ME
THIS CHRISTMAS POEM THAT SAYS,
"DEAR ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA,

THIS CHRISTMAS POEM THAT SAYS,
"DEAR ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA,
WELL, THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS

"DEAR ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA,
WELL, THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS
FINALLY HERE, BRINGING SANTA AND

WELL, THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS
FINALLY HERE, BRINGING SANTA AND
SLEIGH RIDES AND LOTS OF GOOD

FINALLY HERE, BRINGING SANTA AND
SLEIGH RIDES AND LOTS OF GOOD
CHEER.

SLEIGH RIDES AND LOTS OF GOOD
CHEER.
CHILDREN ARE LAUGHING, THERE'S

CHEER.
CHILDREN ARE LAUGHING, THERE'S
LIGHTS ON THE TREES, EVERYONE'S

CHILDREN ARE LAUGHING, THERE'S
LIGHTS ON THE TREES, EVERYONE'S
HAPPY, EXCEPT FOR ME.

LIGHTS ON THE TREES, EVERYONE'S
HAPPY, EXCEPT FOR ME.
FOLKS GOING TO PARTIES, FOLKS

HAPPY, EXCEPT FOR ME.
FOLKS GOING TO PARTIES, FOLKS
HAVING FUN, I WANT TO BLOW MY

FOLKS GOING TO PARTIES, FOLKS
HAVING FUN, I WANT TO BLOW MY
BRAINS OUT, GET ME A GUN.

HAVING FUN, I WANT TO BLOW MY
BRAINS OUT, GET ME A GUN.
CHRISTMAS IS HERE, AND I SHOULD

BRAINS OUT, GET ME A GUN.
CHRISTMAS IS HERE, AND I SHOULD
FEEL SWELL, BUT I'M CRYING IN MY

CHRISTMAS IS HERE, AND I SHOULD
FEEL SWELL, BUT I'M CRYING IN MY
ROOM, AND I FEEL LIKE HELL.

FEEL SWELL, BUT I'M CRYING IN MY
ROOM, AND I FEEL LIKE HELL.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?"

ROOM, AND I FEEL LIKE HELL.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?"
MR. FADER, YOU'RE IN BIG

WHAT SHOULD I DO?"
MR. FADER, YOU'RE IN BIG
TROUBLE.

MR. FADER, YOU'RE IN BIG
TROUBLE.
YOU GOT TO GET OUT OF

TROUBLE.
YOU GOT TO GET OUT OF
NEW JERSEY.

YOU GOT TO GET OUT OF
NEW JERSEY.
BUT I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE

NEW JERSEY.
BUT I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE
GOING THROUGH, 'CAUSE LAST

BUT I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE
GOING THROUGH, 'CAUSE LAST
CHRISTMAS, I,

GOING THROUGH, 'CAUSE LAST
CHRISTMAS, I,
ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA, WAS SO

CHRISTMAS, I,
ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA, WAS SO
DEPRESSED, I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA

ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA, WAS SO
DEPRESSED, I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA
DIE.

DEPRESSED, I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA
DIE.
SO I DECIDED TO TREAT MYSELF TO

DIE.
SO I DECIDED TO TREAT MYSELF TO
A REAL SPECIAL, SNAPPY TIME.

SO I DECIDED TO TREAT MYSELF TO
A REAL SPECIAL, SNAPPY TIME.
SO I GOT ALL DRESSED UP AND WENT

A REAL SPECIAL, SNAPPY TIME.
SO I GOT ALL DRESSED UP AND WENT
TO THIS HIGH-CLASS,

SO I GOT ALL DRESSED UP AND WENT
TO THIS HIGH-CLASS,
FANCY-SCHMANCY, UPTOWN

TO THIS HIGH-CLASS,
FANCY-SCHMANCY, UPTOWN
RESTAURANT CALLED ELAINE'S.

FANCY-SCHMANCY, UPTOWN
RESTAURANT CALLED ELAINE'S.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE PLACES WHERE

RESTAURANT CALLED ELAINE'S.
IT'S ONE OF THOSE PLACES WHERE
"EVERYBODY WHO'S ANYBODY" GOES

IT'S ONE OF THOSE PLACES WHERE
"EVERYBODY WHO'S ANYBODY" GOES
TO EAT ITALIAN FOOD.

"EVERYBODY WHO'S ANYBODY" GOES
TO EAT ITALIAN FOOD.
BETWEEN YOU AND ME,

TO EAT ITALIAN FOOD.
BETWEEN YOU AND ME,
ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA, I REALLY

BETWEEN YOU AND ME,
ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA, I REALLY
LIKE ELAINE'S 'CAUSE YOU GET TO

ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA, I REALLY
LIKE ELAINE'S 'CAUSE YOU GET TO
SEE A LOT OF REAL FAMOUS

LIKE ELAINE'S 'CAUSE YOU GET TO
SEE A LOT OF REAL FAMOUS
CELEBRITIES WITH A LITTLE BIT OF

SEE A LOT OF REAL FAMOUS
CELEBRITIES WITH A LITTLE BIT OF
SPAGHETTI SAUCE RIGHT HERE.

CELEBRITIES WITH A LITTLE BIT OF
SPAGHETTI SAUCE RIGHT HERE.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

SPAGHETTI SAUCE RIGHT HERE.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF THEY DON'T WIPE THAT

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF THEY DON'T WIPE THAT
SPAGHETTI SAUCE OFF RIGHT AWAY,

IF THEY DON'T WIPE THAT
SPAGHETTI SAUCE OFF RIGHT AWAY,
IT GETS ALL HARD AND DRY AND

SPAGHETTI SAUCE OFF RIGHT AWAY,
IT GETS ALL HARD AND DRY AND
CRUSTY, YOU KNOW, LIKE A BLOTCH.

IT GETS ALL HARD AND DRY AND
CRUSTY, YOU KNOW, LIKE A BLOTCH.
AND WHEN THEY OPEN THEIR MOUTHS,

CRUSTY, YOU KNOW, LIKE A BLOTCH.
AND WHEN THEY OPEN THEIR MOUTHS,
THE BLOTCH SEPARATES.

AND WHEN THEY OPEN THEIR MOUTHS,
THE BLOTCH SEPARATES.
AND WHEN THEY CLOSE THEIR

THE BLOTCH SEPARATES.
AND WHEN THEY CLOSE THEIR
MOUTHS, THE BLOTCH COMES BACK

AND WHEN THEY CLOSE THEIR
MOUTHS, THE BLOTCH COMES BACK
TOGETHER AGAIN.

MOUTHS, THE BLOTCH COMES BACK
TOGETHER AGAIN.
AND IT OPENS, IT COMES BACK.

TOGETHER AGAIN.
AND IT OPENS, IT COMES BACK.
THEN IT STARTS TO FLAKE OFF A

AND IT OPENS, IT COMES BACK.
THEN IT STARTS TO FLAKE OFF A
LITTLE BIT, AND THEN A LITTLE

THEN IT STARTS TO FLAKE OFF A
LITTLE BIT, AND THEN A LITTLE
BIT MORE FLAKED AND EVERYTHING.

LITTLE BIT, AND THEN A LITTLE
BIT MORE FLAKED AND EVERYTHING.
THEN IT'S GONE!

BIT MORE FLAKED AND EVERYTHING.
THEN IT'S GONE!
ANYWAYS, I'M SITTING THERE,

THEN IT'S GONE!
ANYWAYS, I'M SITTING THERE,
LOOKING AT THE MENU, WHEN WHAT

ANYWAYS, I'M SITTING THERE,
LOOKING AT THE MENU, WHEN WHAT
COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM BUT

LOOKING AT THE MENU, WHEN WHAT
COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM BUT
PRINCESS LEE RADZIWILL.

COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM BUT
PRINCESS LEE RADZIWILL.
YOU KNOW, THAT CLASSY LADY THAT

PRINCESS LEE RADZIWILL.
YOU KNOW, THAT CLASSY LADY THAT
NO ONE'S REALLY SURE WHERE SHE'S

YOU KNOW, THAT CLASSY LADY THAT
NO ONE'S REALLY SURE WHERE SHE'S
THE PRINCESS OF.

NO ONE'S REALLY SURE WHERE SHE'S
THE PRINCESS OF.
WELL, SHE WAS DRESSED UP LIKE A

THE PRINCESS OF.
WELL, SHE WAS DRESSED UP LIKE A
DOLL IN THIS SLINKY, BASIC BLANK

WELL, SHE WAS DRESSED UP LIKE A
DOLL IN THIS SLINKY, BASIC BLANK
DRESS, AND SHE'S GOT REAL SKINNY

DOLL IN THIS SLINKY, BASIC BLANK
DRESS, AND SHE'S GOT REAL SKINNY
ARMS WITH EXPENSIVE JEWELRY

DRESS, AND SHE'S GOT REAL SKINNY
ARMS WITH EXPENSIVE JEWELRY
HANGING OFF OF THEM.

ARMS WITH EXPENSIVE JEWELRY
HANGING OFF OF THEM.
BUT THEN I NOTICED THAT

HANGING OFF OF THEM.
BUT THEN I NOTICED THAT
PRINCESS LEE HAD A LITTLE,

BUT THEN I NOTICED THAT
PRINCESS LEE HAD A LITTLE,
TEENY, TINY PIECE OF TOILET

PRINCESS LEE HAD A LITTLE,
TEENY, TINY PIECE OF TOILET
PAPER STICKING TO THE BOTTOM OF

TEENY, TINY PIECE OF TOILET
PAPER STICKING TO THE BOTTOM OF
ONE OF HER GUCCI SHOES.

PAPER STICKING TO THE BOTTOM OF
ONE OF HER GUCCI SHOES.
SHE...

ONE OF HER GUCCI SHOES.
SHE...
LISTEN TO THIS.

SHE...
LISTEN TO THIS.
SHE WAS JUST WALKING AROUND, UP

LISTEN TO THIS.
SHE WAS JUST WALKING AROUND, UP
AND DOWN, AND THAT LITTLE PIECE

SHE WAS JUST WALKING AROUND, UP
AND DOWN, AND THAT LITTLE PIECE
OF TOILET PAPER JUST TRAILED

AND DOWN, AND THAT LITTLE PIECE
OF TOILET PAPER JUST TRAILED
BEHIND HER.

OF TOILET PAPER JUST TRAILED
BEHIND HER.
IT WOULDN'T FALL OFF.

BEHIND HER.
IT WOULDN'T FALL OFF.
AND THE MORE SHE WALKED, THE

IT WOULDN'T FALL OFF.
AND THE MORE SHE WALKED, THE
DIRTIER THAT TOILET PAPER GOT.

AND THE MORE SHE WALKED, THE
DIRTIER THAT TOILET PAPER GOT.
AND THINGS STARTED STICKING TO

DIRTIER THAT TOILET PAPER GOT.
AND THINGS STARTED STICKING TO
IT.

AND THINGS STARTED STICKING TO
IT.
THERE WAS A FUZZ BALL AND HAIR

IT.
THERE WAS A FUZZ BALL AND HAIR
AND GUM AND A BUG.

THERE WAS A FUZZ BALL AND HAIR
AND GUM AND A BUG.
THERE WAS EVEN SOME FETTUCCINE

AND GUM AND A BUG.
THERE WAS EVEN SOME FETTUCCINE
ALFREDO AND A PIECE OF ROMAINE

THERE WAS EVEN SOME FETTUCCINE
ALFREDO AND A PIECE OF ROMAINE
LETTUCE.

ALFREDO AND A PIECE OF ROMAINE
LETTUCE.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU THAT I,

LETTUCE.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU THAT I,
ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA, STARTED

BUT LET ME TELL YOU THAT I,
ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA, STARTED
TO LOSE MY APPETITE.

ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA, STARTED
TO LOSE MY APPETITE.
AND I YELLED, "HEY!

TO LOSE MY APPETITE.
AND I YELLED, "HEY!
PRINCESS LEE!

AND I YELLED, "HEY!
PRINCESS LEE!
TAKE THAT TOILET PAPER OFF YOUR

PRINCESS LEE!
TAKE THAT TOILET PAPER OFF YOUR
SHOE!

TAKE THAT TOILET PAPER OFF YOUR
SHOE!
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, MAKE

SHOE!
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, MAKE
ME SICK?"

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, MAKE
ME SICK?"
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

ME SICK?"
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME SICK?

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?
ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME SICK?
ROSEANNE, GET BACK TO THE POINT.

ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME SICK?
ROSEANNE, GET BACK TO THE POINT.
WELL, JANE, IT JUST GOES TO

ROSEANNE, GET BACK TO THE POINT.
WELL, JANE, IT JUST GOES TO
SHOW YOU, IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING.

WELL, JANE, IT JUST GOES TO
SHOW YOU, IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING.
EITHER YOU'RE DEPRESSED AT

SHOW YOU, IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING.
EITHER YOU'RE DEPRESSED AT
CHRISTMAS OR YOU GOT TOILET

EITHER YOU'RE DEPRESSED AT
CHRISTMAS OR YOU GOT TOILET
PAPER HANGING FROM YOUR SHOE.

CHRISTMAS OR YOU GOT TOILET
PAPER HANGING FROM YOUR SHOE.
BUT, JANE, EVEN THOUGH YOU

PAPER HANGING FROM YOUR SHOE.
BUT, JANE, EVEN THOUGH YOU
YELLED AT ME AND YOU SAID THAT I

BUT, JANE, EVEN THOUGH YOU
YELLED AT ME AND YOU SAID THAT I
MAKE YOU SICK ALL THE TIME AND

YELLED AT ME AND YOU SAID THAT I
MAKE YOU SICK ALL THE TIME AND
EVERYTHING, I GOT YOU THIS NICE

MAKE YOU SICK ALL THE TIME AND
EVERYTHING, I GOT YOU THIS NICE
LITTLE GIFT FOR CHRISTMAS.

EVERYTHING, I GOT YOU THIS NICE
LITTLE GIFT FOR CHRISTMAS.
I GOT YOU A LITTLE FRUITCAKE.

LITTLE GIFT FOR CHRISTMAS.
I GOT YOU A LITTLE FRUITCAKE.
ROSEANNE, I...

I GOT YOU A LITTLE FRUITCAKE.
ROSEANNE, I...
I'M EMBARRASSED.

ROSEANNE, I...
I'M EMBARRASSED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I'M EMBARRASSED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I-I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
I-I DON'T KNOW.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP

I-I DON'T KNOW.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP
AND EAT THE CAKE.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP
AND EAT THE CAKE.
AND MR. FADER, YOU PATHETIC

AND EAT THE CAKE.
AND MR. FADER, YOU PATHETIC
PERSON FROM NEW JERSEY, I DIDN'T

AND MR. FADER, YOU PATHETIC
PERSON FROM NEW JERSEY, I DIDN'T
FORGET ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM.

PERSON FROM NEW JERSEY, I DIDN'T
FORGET ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM.
BUT, MR. FADER, YOU GOT TO TAKE

FORGET ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM.
BUT, MR. FADER, YOU GOT TO TAKE
THE BAD WITH THE GOOD.

BUT, MR. FADER, YOU GOT TO TAKE
THE BAD WITH THE GOOD.
IT'S JUST LIKE THE HOLIDAY

THE BAD WITH THE GOOD.
IT'S JUST LIKE THE HOLIDAY
ADVICE PASSED DOWN TO ME BY MY

IT'S JUST LIKE THE HOLIDAY
ADVICE PASSED DOWN TO ME BY MY
GRANDMOTHER...

ADVICE PASSED DOWN TO ME BY MY
GRANDMOTHER...
YOU CAN JUST THROW THAT OUT.

GRANDMOTHER...
YOU CAN JUST THROW THAT OUT.
IT STILL TASTES GOOD.

YOU CAN JUST THROW THAT OUT.
IT STILL TASTES GOOD.
IT'S JUST LIKE THE HOLIDAY

IT STILL TASTES GOOD.
IT'S JUST LIKE THE HOLIDAY
ADVICE PASSED DOWN TO ME BY MY

IT'S JUST LIKE THE HOLIDAY
ADVICE PASSED DOWN TO ME BY MY
GRANDMOTHER, NANA ROSANNADANNA.

ADVICE PASSED DOWN TO ME BY MY
GRANDMOTHER, NANA ROSANNADANNA.
SHE USED TO SAY, "LIFE IS JUST

GRANDMOTHER, NANA ROSANNADANNA.
SHE USED TO SAY, "LIFE IS JUST
LIKE A FRUITCAKE.

SHE USED TO SAY, "LIFE IS JUST
LIKE A FRUITCAKE.
WHEN YOU LOOK AT IT, IT'S RICH

LIKE A FRUITCAKE.
WHEN YOU LOOK AT IT, IT'S RICH
AND SWEET WITH HONEY AND SUGAR

WHEN YOU LOOK AT IT, IT'S RICH
AND SWEET WITH HONEY AND SUGAR
AND SPICE, TASTES DELICIOUS,

AND SWEET WITH HONEY AND SUGAR
AND SPICE, TASTES DELICIOUS,
MAKES YOUR MOTHER WATER AND

AND SPICE, TASTES DELICIOUS,
MAKES YOUR MOTHER WATER AND
EVERYTHING, BUT IF YOU LOOK AT

MAKES YOUR MOTHER WATER AND
EVERYTHING, BUT IF YOU LOOK AT
IT REAL CLOSE, THERE'S THESE

EVERYTHING, BUT IF YOU LOOK AT
IT REAL CLOSE, THERE'S THESE
WEIRD LITTLE GREEN THINGS IN IT

IT REAL CLOSE, THERE'S THESE
WEIRD LITTLE GREEN THINGS IN IT
AND ALL IN THERE, AND YOU DON'T

WEIRD LITTLE GREEN THINGS IN IT
AND ALL IN THERE, AND YOU DON'T
KNOW WHAT IT IS!

AND ALL IN THERE, AND YOU DON'T
KNOW WHAT IT IS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS,

KNOW WHAT IT IS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA.

MERRY CHRISTMAS,
ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA.
THAT'S THE NEWS.

ROSEANNE ROSANNADANNA.
THAT'S THE NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT

THAT'S THE NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT
HOLIDAY.

GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT
HOLIDAY.
THIS IS GOOD.

[BAGPIPES PLAYING]

[Scottish accent] LAD.
WAKE UP, LAD!
YOU OUGHT NOT TO BE SLEEPING ON

WAKE UP, LAD!
YOU OUGHT NOT TO BE SLEEPING ON
CHRISTMAS EVE.

YOU OUGHT NOT TO BE SLEEPING ON
CHRISTMAS EVE.
WHAT... WHAT... IS IT

CHRISTMAS EVE.
WHAT... WHAT... IS IT
ST. PATRICK'S DAY ALREADY?

WHAT... WHAT... IS IT
ST. PATRICK'S DAY ALREADY?
GET UP, MAN!

ST. PATRICK'S DAY ALREADY?
GET UP, MAN!
CHRISTMAS IS UPON US, AND HERE

GET UP, MAN!
CHRISTMAS IS UPON US, AND HERE
YOU ARE ASLEEP IN THE GUTTER.

CHRISTMAS IS UPON US, AND HERE
YOU ARE ASLEEP IN THE GUTTER.
WELL, WHO ARE YOU?

YOU ARE ASLEEP IN THE GUTTER.
WELL, WHO ARE YOU?
DO I OWE YOU MONEY?

WELL, WHO ARE YOU?
DO I OWE YOU MONEY?
YOU DON'T KNOW ME?

DO I OWE YOU MONEY?
YOU DON'T KNOW ME?
I'M THE SPIRIT OF BLENDED SCOTCH

YOU DON'T KNOW ME?
I'M THE SPIRIT OF BLENDED SCOTCH
WHISKEY.

I'M THE SPIRIT OF BLENDED SCOTCH
WHISKEY.
AYE, THE PATRON SAINT OF

WHISKEY.
AYE, THE PATRON SAINT OF
LAST-MINUTE, MODERATELY PRICED

AYE, THE PATRON SAINT OF
LAST-MINUTE, MODERATELY PRICED
CHRISTMAS GIFTS.

LAST-MINUTE, MODERATELY PRICED
CHRISTMAS GIFTS.
I'VE BEEN COURSING THROUGH YOUR

CHRISTMAS GIFTS.
I'VE BEEN COURSING THROUGH YOUR
VEINS LONG ENOUGH.

I'VE BEEN COURSING THROUGH YOUR
VEINS LONG ENOUGH.
DO YOU RECOGNIZE ME NOW?

VEINS LONG ENOUGH.
DO YOU RECOGNIZE ME NOW?
DO YOU OWE ME MONEY?

DO YOU RECOGNIZE ME NOW?
DO YOU OWE ME MONEY?
NO, LAD.

DO YOU OWE ME MONEY?
NO, LAD.
LISTEN.

NO, LAD.
LISTEN.
YOU'VE BEEN FAVORED LAD.

LISTEN.
YOU'VE BEEN FAVORED LAD.
EACH CHRISTMAS EVEN, WE SPIRITS

YOU'VE BEEN FAVORED LAD.
EACH CHRISTMAS EVEN, WE SPIRITS
COME TO LIFE TO HELP THE MORTAL

EACH CHRISTMAS EVEN, WE SPIRITS
COME TO LIFE TO HELP THE MORTAL
WHO DESERVES IT MOST.

COME TO LIFE TO HELP THE MORTAL
WHO DESERVES IT MOST.
THIS YEAR, WE'VE CHOSEN YOU.

WHO DESERVES IT MOST.
THIS YEAR, WE'VE CHOSEN YOU.
WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE!

THIS YEAR, WE'VE CHOSEN YOU.
WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE!
ARE... ARE YOU...

WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE!
ARE... ARE YOU...
ARE YOU... YOU'RE HIM.

ARE... ARE YOU...
ARE YOU... YOU'RE HIM.
ARE YOU REALLY HIM?

ARE YOU... YOU'RE HIM.
ARE YOU REALLY HIM?
WOULD YOU AUTOGRAPH MY BOTTLE?

ARE YOU REALLY HIM?
WOULD YOU AUTOGRAPH MY BOTTLE?
WOULD YOU SIGN IT FOR ME?

WOULD YOU AUTOGRAPH MY BOTTLE?
WOULD YOU SIGN IT FOR ME?
HOLD ON, LADDIE.

WOULD YOU SIGN IT FOR ME?
HOLD ON, LADDIE.
HOLD ON.

HOLD ON, LADDIE.
HOLD ON.
YOU MUST PROVE YOU'RE WORTHY.

HOLD ON.
YOU MUST PROVE YOU'RE WORTHY.
I MUST FIND OUT IF YOU KNOW THE

YOU MUST PROVE YOU'RE WORTHY.
I MUST FIND OUT IF YOU KNOW THE
MEANING OF CHRISTMAS CHEER.

I MUST FIND OUT IF YOU KNOW THE
MEANING OF CHRISTMAS CHEER.
THE FAMILY GATHERED, UH...

MEANING OF CHRISTMAS CHEER.
THE FAMILY GATHERED, UH...
GIVING, SHARING, UH...

THE FAMILY GATHERED, UH...
GIVING, SHARING, UH...
THE BIRTH OF, UH, THE BABY

GIVING, SHARING, UH...
THE BIRTH OF, UH, THE BABY
JESUS.

THE BIRTH OF, UH, THE BABY
JESUS.
NO, LAD!

JESUS.
NO, LAD!
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG.

NO, LAD!
YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG.
HERE, MAYBE IF SOME OF YOUR

YOU'VE GOT IT ALL WRONG.
HERE, MAYBE IF SOME OF YOUR
FRIENDS EXPLAINED IT TO YOU.

HERE, MAYBE IF SOME OF YOUR
FRIENDS EXPLAINED IT TO YOU.
I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS

FRIENDS EXPLAINED IT TO YOU.
I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS
LEFT.

I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS
LEFT.
OH, YOU DO, LAD.

LEFT.
OH, YOU DO, LAD.
YOU DO.

OH, YOU DO, LAD.
YOU DO.
LOOK!

YOU DO.
LOOK!
THESE ARE YOUR TRUE FRIENDS,

LOOK!
THESE ARE YOUR TRUE FRIENDS,
LAD.

THESE ARE YOUR TRUE FRIENDS,
LAD.
LISTEN TO THEM!

LAD.
LISTEN TO THEM!
THEY SPEAK FROM THE HEART.

LISTEN TO THEM!
THEY SPEAK FROM THE HEART.
I'M THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

THEY SPEAK FROM THE HEART.
I'M THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS
GIN.

I'M THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS
GIN.
HERE, HAVE AN OLIVE.

GIN.
HERE, HAVE AN OLIVE.
I GO BEST WITH, UH, VERMOUTH,

HERE, HAVE AN OLIVE.
I GO BEST WITH, UH, VERMOUTH,
TONIC, OR BITTER LEMON.

I GO BEST WITH, UH, VERMOUTH,
TONIC, OR BITTER LEMON.
BUT IN A PINCH, I CAN GO WITH

TONIC, OR BITTER LEMON.
BUT IN A PINCH, I CAN GO WITH
KOOL-AID, AQUA VELVA, OR

BUT IN A PINCH, I CAN GO WITH
KOOL-AID, AQUA VELVA, OR
GRADE-FOUR BATTERY ACID.

KOOL-AID, AQUA VELVA, OR
GRADE-FOUR BATTERY ACID.
I AM MADE FROM MALTED BARLEY

GRADE-FOUR BATTERY ACID.
I AM MADE FROM MALTED BARLEY
AND THE FRESHEST OF SPRING

I AM MADE FROM MALTED BARLEY
AND THE FRESHEST OF SPRING
WATER.

AND THE FRESHEST OF SPRING
WATER.
I-I-I-I AM BEST TAKEN

WATER.
I-I-I-I AM BEST TAKEN
INTERNALLY, AND I CAN BE

I-I-I-I AM BEST TAKEN
INTERNALLY, AND I CAN BE
CONVENIENTLY CARRIED IN A PAPER

INTERNALLY, AND I CAN BE
CONVENIENTLY CARRIED IN A PAPER
BAG IN THE BACK POCKET BY THE

CONVENIENTLY CARRIED IN A PAPER
BAG IN THE BACK POCKET BY THE
MAN OF STYLE, FOR I AM WHISKEY.

BAG IN THE BACK POCKET BY THE
MAN OF STYLE, FOR I AM WHISKEY.
W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

MAN OF STYLE, FOR I AM WHISKEY.
W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOUR CLOTHES HAVE A LITTLE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOUR CLOTHES HAVE A LITTLE
LINT ON IT.

YOUR CLOTHES HAVE A LITTLE
LINT ON IT.
I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU.

LINT ON IT.
I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU.
SO, YOU MEAN YOU'RE...

I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU.
SO, YOU MEAN YOU'RE...
DON'T EAT THE OLIVES.

SO, YOU MEAN YOU'RE...
DON'T EAT THE OLIVES.
HE GOT THEM OUT OF THE GARBAGE.

DON'T EAT THE OLIVES.
HE GOT THEM OUT OF THE GARBAGE.
YOU'RE ALL HERE TO HELP ME?

HE GOT THEM OUT OF THE GARBAGE.
YOU'RE ALL HERE TO HELP ME?
OF COURSE, LAD.

YOU'RE ALL HERE TO HELP ME?
OF COURSE, LAD.
I'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND.

OF COURSE, LAD.
I'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND.
BUT IF YOU'RE HERE TO HELP ME,

I'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND.
BUT IF YOU'RE HERE TO HELP ME,
IS IT, LIKE, HEAVEN HELPS THOSE

BUT IF YOU'RE HERE TO HELP ME,
IS IT, LIKE, HEAVEN HELPS THOSE
WHO HELP THEMSELVES?

IS IT, LIKE, HEAVEN HELPS THOSE
WHO HELP THEMSELVES?
I HAVE A FREE WILL.

WHO HELP THEMSELVES?
I HAVE A FREE WILL.
I CAN STOP DRINKING.

I HAVE A FREE WILL.
I CAN STOP DRINKING.
IS THAT IT?

I CAN STOP DRINKING.
IS THAT IT?
STOP DRINKING?

IS THAT IT?
STOP DRINKING?
LADDIE, LOOK AT YOURSELF.

STOP DRINKING?
LADDIE, LOOK AT YOURSELF.
YOU'VE LOST YOUR JOB, YOUR

LADDIE, LOOK AT YOURSELF.
YOU'VE LOST YOUR JOB, YOUR
LIVER'S ABOUT TO GO, AND YOU'RE

YOU'VE LOST YOUR JOB, YOUR
LIVER'S ABOUT TO GO, AND YOU'RE
LYING IN AN ALLEY ON

LIVER'S ABOUT TO GO, AND YOU'RE
LYING IN AN ALLEY ON
CHRISTMAS EVE.

LYING IN AN ALLEY ON
CHRISTMAS EVE.
IF ANYBODY EVER NEEDED TO TIE

CHRISTMAS EVE.
IF ANYBODY EVER NEEDED TO TIE
ONE ON, IT'S YOU.

IF ANYBODY EVER NEEDED TO TIE
ONE ON, IT'S YOU.
BUT HOW CAN DRINKING MAKE MY

ONE ON, IT'S YOU.
BUT HOW CAN DRINKING MAKE MY
LIVER BETTER?

BUT HOW CAN DRINKING MAKE MY
LIVER BETTER?
AH, THE LIVER.

LIVER BETTER?
AH, THE LIVER.
GOOD POINT.

AH, THE LIVER.
GOOD POINT.
WELL, YOU SEE, IT'S LIKE

GOOD POINT.
WELL, YOU SEE, IT'S LIKE
THIS... YOU ASK MOST PEOPLE,

WELL, YOU SEE, IT'S LIKE
THIS... YOU ASK MOST PEOPLE,
"WHAT'S THE LIVER?"

THIS... YOU ASK MOST PEOPLE,
"WHAT'S THE LIVER?"
THEY'LL TELL YOU IT'S A GLAND OR

"WHAT'S THE LIVER?"
THEY'LL TELL YOU IT'S A GLAND OR
AN ORGAN.

THEY'LL TELL YOU IT'S A GLAND OR
AN ORGAN.
IT'S NOT A GLAND OR AN ORGAN,

AN ORGAN.
IT'S NOT A GLAND OR AN ORGAN,
IT'S A MUSCLE, AND THAT MUSCLE

IT'S NOT A GLAND OR AN ORGAN,
IT'S A MUSCLE, AND THAT MUSCLE
HAS TO BE EXERCISED.

IT'S A MUSCLE, AND THAT MUSCLE
HAS TO BE EXERCISED.
IT'S GOT TO BE WORKED OUT.

HAS TO BE EXERCISED.
IT'S GOT TO BE WORKED OUT.
YOU KNOW?

IT'S GOT TO BE WORKED OUT.
YOU KNOW?
I HAVE TO EXERCISE IT MORE.

YOU KNOW?
I HAVE TO EXERCISE IT MORE.
YEAH, EXERCISE IT.

I HAVE TO EXERCISE IT MORE.
YEAH, EXERCISE IT.
RIGHT.

YEAH, EXERCISE IT.
RIGHT.
AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, TAKE

RIGHT.
AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, TAKE
A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR NOSE WITH

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, TAKE
A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR NOSE WITH
ITS WEE, TINY, LITTLE VEINS.

A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR NOSE WITH
ITS WEE, TINY, LITTLE VEINS.
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER HAVE A GREAT

ITS WEE, TINY, LITTLE VEINS.
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER HAVE A GREAT
BIG NOSE WITH GREAT BIG MANLY

WOULDN'T YOU RATHER HAVE A GREAT
BIG NOSE WITH GREAT BIG MANLY
VEINS ON IT?

BIG NOSE WITH GREAT BIG MANLY
VEINS ON IT?
BABY, YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC.

VEINS ON IT?
BABY, YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC.
YOU'VE GOT TO WALK TALL, MAN.

BABY, YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC.
YOU'VE GOT TO WALK TALL, MAN.
YOU DON'T BOW YOUR HEAD TO

YOU'VE GOT TO WALK TALL, MAN.
YOU DON'T BOW YOUR HEAD TO
NOBODY.

YOU DON'T BOW YOUR HEAD TO
NOBODY.
HEY, YOU GUYS ARE ALL RIGHT.

NOBODY.
HEY, YOU GUYS ARE ALL RIGHT.
I FEEL A LOT BETTER NOW.

HEY, YOU GUYS ARE ALL RIGHT.
I FEEL A LOT BETTER NOW.
YEAH.

I FEEL A LOT BETTER NOW.
YEAH.
DO YOU SEE THE MEANING OF IT

YEAH.
DO YOU SEE THE MEANING OF IT
ALL NOW, LADDIE?

DO YOU SEE THE MEANING OF IT
ALL NOW, LADDIE?
YES.

ALL NOW, LADDIE?
YES.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE YOURSELF.

YES.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE YOURSELF.
IF YOU'RE A DRUNK AND IT'S

YOU'VE GOT TO BE YOURSELF.
IF YOU'RE A DRUNK AND IT'S
CHRISTMAS, I GUESS YOU JUST HAVE

IF YOU'RE A DRUNK AND IT'S
CHRISTMAS, I GUESS YOU JUST HAVE
TO DRINK ALL THE HARDER.

CHRISTMAS, I GUESS YOU JUST HAVE
TO DRINK ALL THE HARDER.
AYE, THAT'S THE SPIRIT.

TO DRINK ALL THE HARDER.
AYE, THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
YOU SEE...

AYE, THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
YOU SEE...
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]

YOU SEE...
[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ LIFE NEEDS TO PRETEND IT'S

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ LIFE NEEDS TO PRETEND IT'S
IMPORTANT ♪

♪ LIFE NEEDS TO PRETEND IT'S
IMPORTANT ♪
♪ NEEDS TO ACT LIKE THE FORCE IN

IMPORTANT ♪
♪ NEEDS TO ACT LIKE THE FORCE IN
CONTROL ♪

♪ NEEDS TO ACT LIKE THE FORCE IN
CONTROL ♪
♪ NEEDS TO CALL ALL THE SHOTS

CONTROL ♪
♪ NEEDS TO CALL ALL THE SHOTS
AND KNOT ALL THE KNOTS ♪

♪ NEEDS TO CALL ALL THE SHOTS
AND KNOT ALL THE KNOTS ♪
♪ IT'S A BULLY THAT PICKS ON

AND KNOT ALL THE KNOTS ♪
♪ IT'S A BULLY THAT PICKS ON
YOUR SOUL ♪

♪ IT'S A BULLY THAT PICKS ON
YOUR SOUL ♪
♪ BUT MAN IS THE MEASURE OF ALL

YOUR SOUL ♪
♪ BUT MAN IS THE MEASURE OF ALL
THINGS ♪

♪ BUT MAN IS THE MEASURE OF ALL
THINGS ♪
♪ IT WAS MAN WHO INVENTED THE

THINGS ♪
♪ IT WAS MAN WHO INVENTED THE
BAR ♪

♪ IT WAS MAN WHO INVENTED THE
BAR ♪
♪ AND AS LONG AS THERE'S A

BAR ♪
♪ AND AS LONG AS THERE'S A
DRINK, MAN'S FREE NOT TO THINK ♪

♪ AND AS LONG AS THERE'S A
DRINK, MAN'S FREE NOT TO THINK ♪
♪ AND LIFE CAN GO WAIT IN THE

DRINK, MAN'S FREE NOT TO THINK ♪
♪ AND LIFE CAN GO WAIT IN THE
CAR ♪

♪ AND LIFE CAN GO WAIT IN THE
CAR ♪
YOU... YOU LOOK FINE, LADDIE.

CAR ♪
YOU... YOU LOOK FINE, LADDIE.
I THINK YOU'RE READY TO GO.

YOU... YOU LOOK FINE, LADDIE.
I THINK YOU'RE READY TO GO.
GO?

I THINK YOU'RE READY TO GO.
GO?
WHERE ARE WE GONNA GO?

GO?
WHERE ARE WE GONNA GO?
WE'RE GOING TO FILL YOU UP

WHERE ARE WE GONNA GO?
WE'RE GOING TO FILL YOU UP
WITH THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

WE'RE GOING TO FILL YOU UP
WITH THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS
PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE.

WITH THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS
PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE.
WE'RE GONNA GET YOU SO DRUNK YOU

PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE.
WE'RE GONNA GET YOU SO DRUNK YOU
WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND YOUR

WE'RE GONNA GET YOU SO DRUNK YOU
WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND YOUR
BACKSIDE WITH BOTH HANDS.

WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND YOUR
BACKSIDE WITH BOTH HANDS.
HERE YOU GO, LADDIE.

BACKSIDE WITH BOTH HANDS.
HERE YOU GO, LADDIE.
[BELLS CHIME]

HERE YOU GO, LADDIE.
[BELLS CHIME]
OH, MY!

[BELLS CHIME]
OH, MY!
SO THIS... THIS IS THE MIRACLE

OH, MY!
SO THIS... THIS IS THE MIRACLE
OF CHRISTMAS.

SO THIS... THIS IS THE MIRACLE
OF CHRISTMAS.
GOD BLESS THE DISTILLERS AND THE

OF CHRISTMAS.
GOD BLESS THE DISTILLERS AND THE
BREWERS AND THE IMPORTERS AND

GOD BLESS THE DISTILLERS AND THE
BREWERS AND THE IMPORTERS AND
THE BOTTLERS.

BREWERS AND THE IMPORTERS AND
THE BOTTLERS.
GOD BLESS THEM ALL.

THE BOTTLERS.
GOD BLESS THEM ALL.
[ALL TALKING]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BOB AND RAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

EVERY YEAR AS THE HOLIDAY
SEASON ROLLS AROUND, WE HAVE OUR
SCOUTS SEARCH THE TRAIN

SEASON ROLLS AROUND, WE HAVE OUR
SCOUTS SEARCH THE TRAIN
STATIONS, THE BUS DEPOTS, TRYING

SCOUTS SEARCH THE TRAIN
STATIONS, THE BUS DEPOTS, TRYING
TO FIND PEOPLE WHO HAVE... WELL,

STATIONS, THE BUS DEPOTS, TRYING
TO FIND PEOPLE WHO HAVE... WELL,
THEY'RE HARD-LUCK STORIES TO

TO FIND PEOPLE WHO HAVE... WELL,
THEY'RE HARD-LUCK STORIES TO
TELL, AND WE TRY TO MAKE THEIR

THEY'RE HARD-LUCK STORIES TO
TELL, AND WE TRY TO MAKE THEIR
CHRISTMAS SEASON A LITTLE BIT

TELL, AND WE TRY TO MAKE THEIR
CHRISTMAS SEASON A LITTLE BIT
HAPPIER.

CHRISTMAS SEASON A LITTLE BIT
HAPPIER.
WE HAVE AN UNFORTUNATE GENTLEMAN

HAPPIER.
WE HAVE AN UNFORTUNATE GENTLEMAN
HERE.

WE HAVE AN UNFORTUNATE GENTLEMAN
HERE.
I BELIEVE OUR SCOUTS FOUND YOU

HERE.
I BELIEVE OUR SCOUTS FOUND YOU
OVER AT THE PORT AUTHORITY BUS

I BELIEVE OUR SCOUTS FOUND YOU
OVER AT THE PORT AUTHORITY BUS
STATION, WASN'T THAT RIGHT, SIR?

OVER AT THE PORT AUTHORITY BUS
STATION, WASN'T THAT RIGHT, SIR?
YES.

STATION, WASN'T THAT RIGHT, SIR?
YES.
IT WAS IN THE BUS TERMINAL.

YES.
IT WAS IN THE BUS TERMINAL.
THERE I WAS SITTING, AND I GUESS

IT WAS IN THE BUS TERMINAL.
THERE I WAS SITTING, AND I GUESS
I LOOKED DEPRESSED.

THERE I WAS SITTING, AND I GUESS
I LOOKED DEPRESSED.
YOU PROBABLY DID.

I LOOKED DEPRESSED.
YOU PROBABLY DID.
TELL US YOUR STORY RIGHT FROM

YOU PROBABLY DID.
TELL US YOUR STORY RIGHT FROM
THE START, WILL YOU?

TELL US YOUR STORY RIGHT FROM
THE START, WILL YOU?
WELL, IT WAS BACK ON

THE START, WILL YOU?
WELL, IT WAS BACK ON
LABOR DAY, AND A BUNCH OF

WELL, IT WAS BACK ON
LABOR DAY, AND A BUNCH OF
FELLAS, MY FRIENDS AND MYSELF,

LABOR DAY, AND A BUNCH OF
FELLAS, MY FRIENDS AND MYSELF,
WERE SITTING ON THE BACK PORCH

FELLAS, MY FRIENDS AND MYSELF,
WERE SITTING ON THE BACK PORCH
HAVING A COUPLE OF DRINKS.

WERE SITTING ON THE BACK PORCH
HAVING A COUPLE OF DRINKS.
YOU'RE FROM OUT SEATTLE WAY,

HAVING A COUPLE OF DRINKS.
YOU'RE FROM OUT SEATTLE WAY,
I BELIEVE.

YOU'RE FROM OUT SEATTLE WAY,
I BELIEVE.
TACOMA.

I BELIEVE.
TACOMA.
TACOMA.

TACOMA.
TACOMA.
AND WE GOT THINKING... IT WAS

TACOMA.
AND WE GOT THINKING... IT WAS
LABOR DAY... ABOUT THANKSGIVING

AND WE GOT THINKING... IT WAS
LABOR DAY... ABOUT THANKSGIVING
AND THEN CHRISTMAS.

LABOR DAY... ABOUT THANKSGIVING
AND THEN CHRISTMAS.
AND I SAID, "YOU KNOW, THAT BIG

AND THEN CHRISTMAS.
AND I SAID, "YOU KNOW, THAT BIG
TREE THEY HAVE THERE IN

AND I SAID, "YOU KNOW, THAT BIG
TREE THEY HAVE THERE IN
NEW YORK EVERY YEAR?

TREE THEY HAVE THERE IN
NEW YORK EVERY YEAR?
THEY NEVER BRING IT FROM THE

NEW YORK EVERY YEAR?
THEY NEVER BRING IT FROM THE
GREAT NORTHWEST."

THEY NEVER BRING IT FROM THE
GREAT NORTHWEST."
NOW, WE'RE PROUD OF OUR FIR

GREAT NORTHWEST."
NOW, WE'RE PROUD OF OUR FIR
TREES OUT THERE, AND IT SEEMS

NOW, WE'RE PROUD OF OUR FIR
TREES OUT THERE, AND IT SEEMS
LIKE THEY ALWAYS GET A TREE FROM

TREES OUT THERE, AND IT SEEMS
LIKE THEY ALWAYS GET A TREE FROM
PENNSYLVANIA, MASSACHUSETTS,

LIKE THEY ALWAYS GET A TREE FROM
PENNSYLVANIA, MASSACHUSETTS,
CONNECTICUT, SOMEWHERE LIKE

PENNSYLVANIA, MASSACHUSETTS,
CONNECTICUT, SOMEWHERE LIKE
THAT.

CONNECTICUT, SOMEWHERE LIKE
THAT.
SO I'M EASILY LED.

THAT.
SO I'M EASILY LED.
AND WE HAD A FEW DRINKS.

SO I'M EASILY LED.
AND WE HAD A FEW DRINKS.
SURE.

AND WE HAD A FEW DRINKS.
SURE.
SO THE FELLAS SAID, "WELL,

SURE.
SO THE FELLAS SAID, "WELL,
WHY DON'T YOU CUT DOWN A TREE

SO THE FELLAS SAID, "WELL,
WHY DON'T YOU CUT DOWN A TREE
AND TAKE IT TO NEW YORK."

WHY DON'T YOU CUT DOWN A TREE
AND TAKE IT TO NEW YORK."
SELL IT TO RADIO CITY, HUH?

AND TAKE IT TO NEW YORK."
SELL IT TO RADIO CITY, HUH?
YEAH.

SELL IT TO RADIO CITY, HUH?
YEAH.
SO IT SOUNDED, AT THE TIME, LIKE

YEAH.
SO IT SOUNDED, AT THE TIME, LIKE
A GOOD IDEA.

SO IT SOUNDED, AT THE TIME, LIKE
A GOOD IDEA.
RIGHT, RIGHT.

A GOOD IDEA.
RIGHT, RIGHT.
SO I GO OUT, GET A SAW, AND I

RIGHT, RIGHT.
SO I GO OUT, GET A SAW, AND I
CUT ONE DOWN IN MY BACKYARD.

SO I GO OUT, GET A SAW, AND I
CUT ONE DOWN IN MY BACKYARD.
SO I DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY TO

CUT ONE DOWN IN MY BACKYARD.
SO I DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY TO
FLY, SO I GOT A BUS TICKET.

SO I DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY TO
FLY, SO I GOT A BUS TICKET.
AND...

FLY, SO I GOT A BUS TICKET.
AND...
YOU WERE GOING TO BRING THIS

AND...
YOU WERE GOING TO BRING THIS
TREE ALL THE WAY BY BUS?

YOU WERE GOING TO BRING THIS
TREE ALL THE WAY BY BUS?
I BROUGHT IT ALL THE WAY FROM

TREE ALL THE WAY BY BUS?
I BROUGHT IT ALL THE WAY FROM
TACOMA, WASHINGTON.

I BROUGHT IT ALL THE WAY FROM
TACOMA, WASHINGTON.
I UNDERSTAND.

TACOMA, WASHINGTON.
I UNDERSTAND.
WHAT DID YOU DO, TIE IT UP AND

I UNDERSTAND.
WHAT DID YOU DO, TIE IT UP AND
LATCH IT TO THE TOP OF THE BUS?

WHAT DID YOU DO, TIE IT UP AND
LATCH IT TO THE TOP OF THE BUS?
NO, THEY WOULDN'T LET ME DO

LATCH IT TO THE TOP OF THE BUS?
NO, THEY WOULDN'T LET ME DO
THAT.

NO, THEY WOULDN'T LET ME DO
THAT.
THE DRIVER MADE ME HOLD IT ON MY

THAT.
THE DRIVER MADE ME HOLD IT ON MY
LAP CLEAR ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

THE DRIVER MADE ME HOLD IT ON MY
LAP CLEAR ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE.

LAP CLEAR ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE.
IT WAS.

KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE.
IT WAS.
IT MADE THE TRIP A LITTLE

IT WAS.
IT MADE THE TRIP A LITTLE
LONGER.

IT MADE THE TRIP A LITTLE
LONGER.
WELL, I MADE A LOT OF SIDE

LONGER.
WELL, I MADE A LOT OF SIDE
TRIPS, YOU KNOW, TO SEE THE

WELL, I MADE A LOT OF SIDE
TRIPS, YOU KNOW, TO SEE THE
COUNTRY.

TRIPS, YOU KNOW, TO SEE THE
COUNTRY.
I SAW YELLOWSTONE PARK AND

COUNTRY.
I SAW YELLOWSTONE PARK AND
DODGE CITY.

I SAW YELLOWSTONE PARK AND
DODGE CITY.
DID YOU HAVE TO CARRY THIS

DODGE CITY.
DID YOU HAVE TO CARRY THIS
WITH YOU?

DID YOU HAVE TO CARRY THIS
WITH YOU?
SURE.

WITH YOU?
SURE.
I WOULDN'T LET IT OUT OF MY

SURE.
I WOULDN'T LET IT OUT OF MY
SIGHT.

I WOULDN'T LET IT OUT OF MY
SIGHT.
I WAS GONNA SELL IT FOR A

SIGHT.
I WAS GONNA SELL IT FOR A
FORTUNE, I THOUGHT, HERE IN

I WAS GONNA SELL IT FOR A
FORTUNE, I THOUGHT, HERE IN
NEW YORK.

FORTUNE, I THOUGHT, HERE IN
NEW YORK.
AND, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A RIGHT

NEW YORK.
AND, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A RIGHT
WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO GO

AND, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A RIGHT
WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO GO
THROUGH A BUS DOOR WITH THIS

WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO GO
THROUGH A BUS DOOR WITH THIS
THING.

THROUGH A BUS DOOR WITH THIS
THING.
WELL, SURE.

THING.
WELL, SURE.
YOU PUT IT THAT END FIRST.

WELL, SURE.
YOU PUT IT THAT END FIRST.
THIS IS THE WRONG WAY.

YOU PUT IT THAT END FIRST.
THIS IS THE WRONG WAY.
THAT'S WRONG.

THIS IS THE WRONG WAY.
THAT'S WRONG.
IT LOOKS AS IF IT HAS BEEN

THAT'S WRONG.
IT LOOKS AS IF IT HAS BEEN
THROUGH QUITE A GREAT DEAL.

IT LOOKS AS IF IT HAS BEEN
THROUGH QUITE A GREAT DEAL.
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU GOT TO

THROUGH QUITE A GREAT DEAL.
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU GOT TO
NEW YORK?

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU GOT TO
NEW YORK?
WELL, WHEN I GOT TO NEW YORK,

NEW YORK?
WELL, WHEN I GOT TO NEW YORK,
THERE, IN THE BUS TERMINAL, WAS

WELL, WHEN I GOT TO NEW YORK,
THERE, IN THE BUS TERMINAL, WAS
A FELLA DOZING.

THERE, IN THE BUS TERMINAL, WAS
A FELLA DOZING.
HE WAS A VERY

A FELLA DOZING.
HE WAS A VERY
DISTINGUISHED-LOOKING GENTLEMAN.

HE WAS A VERY
DISTINGUISHED-LOOKING GENTLEMAN.
AND I SAID, "WHO DO I GO TO,

DISTINGUISHED-LOOKING GENTLEMAN.
AND I SAID, "WHO DO I GO TO,
HERE IN NEW YORK, TO SELL THIS

AND I SAID, "WHO DO I GO TO,
HERE IN NEW YORK, TO SELL THIS
TREE?"

HERE IN NEW YORK, TO SELL THIS
TREE?"
HE SAYS, "YOU GO UP TO

TREE?"
HE SAYS, "YOU GO UP TO
ROCKEFELLER CENTER."

HE SAYS, "YOU GO UP TO
ROCKEFELLER CENTER."
SO I WALKED UP THERE...

ROCKEFELLER CENTER."
SO I WALKED UP THERE...
DID YOU NOTICE THEY'D ALREADY

SO I WALKED UP THERE...
DID YOU NOTICE THEY'D ALREADY
BOUGHT ONE?

DID YOU NOTICE THEY'D ALREADY
BOUGHT ONE?
IT WAS ALREADY UP?

BOUGHT ONE?
IT WAS ALREADY UP?
I HADN'T NOTICED.

IT WAS ALREADY UP?
I HADN'T NOTICED.
SO I GET UP THERE, AND I GO IN

I HADN'T NOTICED.
SO I GET UP THERE, AND I GO IN
AND...

SO I GET UP THERE, AND I GO IN
AND...
WHO DID YOU SEE FIRST?

AND...
WHO DID YOU SEE FIRST?
STARTER AT THE ELEVATORS.

WHO DID YOU SEE FIRST?
STARTER AT THE ELEVATORS.
HE GAVE ME A FISHY LOOK, LIKE I

STARTER AT THE ELEVATORS.
HE GAVE ME A FISHY LOOK, LIKE I
WAS SOME KIND OF A NUT, YOU

HE GAVE ME A FISHY LOOK, LIKE I
WAS SOME KIND OF A NUT, YOU
KNOW?

WAS SOME KIND OF A NUT, YOU
KNOW?
I'M NO FOOL.

KNOW?
I'M NO FOOL.
NO.

I'M NO FOOL.
NO.
AND SO I SAID, "WHO DO I SELL

NO.
AND SO I SAID, "WHO DO I SELL
THIS TREE TO FOR THE CHRISTMAS

AND SO I SAID, "WHO DO I SELL
THIS TREE TO FOR THE CHRISTMAS
SEASON HERE?"

THIS TREE TO FOR THE CHRISTMAS
SEASON HERE?"
AND HE SAID, "WELL, GEE, I DON'T

SEASON HERE?"
AND HE SAID, "WELL, GEE, I DON'T
KNOW.

AND HE SAID, "WELL, GEE, I DON'T
KNOW.
I THINK THE MAN YOU WANT TO SEE

KNOW.
I THINK THE MAN YOU WANT TO SEE
IS JOHN CHANCELLOR."

I THINK THE MAN YOU WANT TO SEE
IS JOHN CHANCELLOR."
MIGHT BE, I SUPPOSE.

IS JOHN CHANCELLOR."
MIGHT BE, I SUPPOSE.
DID YOU GET TO SEE HIM?

MIGHT BE, I SUPPOSE.
DID YOU GET TO SEE HIM?
HE WOULDN'T LET ME UP THE

DID YOU GET TO SEE HIM?
HE WOULDN'T LET ME UP THE
ELEVATOR.

HE WOULDN'T LET ME UP THE
ELEVATOR.
OH, HE WOULDN'T?

ELEVATOR.
OH, HE WOULDN'T?
NO.

OH, HE WOULDN'T?
NO.
SO I STAYED DOWN THERE AND...

NO.
SO I STAYED DOWN THERE AND...
DID YOU NOTICE HIM WHEN HE

SO I STAYED DOWN THERE AND...
DID YOU NOTICE HIM WHEN HE
CAME OUT?

DID YOU NOTICE HIM WHEN HE
CAME OUT?
I WAS GONNA SAY, WHAT DOES

CAME OUT?
I WAS GONNA SAY, WHAT DOES
JOHN CHANCELLOR LOOK LIKE?

I WAS GONNA SAY, WHAT DOES
JOHN CHANCELLOR LOOK LIKE?
I CAN'T DESCRIBE RIGHT NOW.

JOHN CHANCELLOR LOOK LIKE?
I CAN'T DESCRIBE RIGHT NOW.
HE MUST HAVE SLIPPED BY ME,

I CAN'T DESCRIBE RIGHT NOW.
HE MUST HAVE SLIPPED BY ME,
'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW.

HE MUST HAVE SLIPPED BY ME,
'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW.
SO HERE I AM.

'CAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW.
SO HERE I AM.
WELL, I FIGURED THE BUS FARE WAS

SO HERE I AM.
WELL, I FIGURED THE BUS FARE WAS
$60.

WELL, I FIGURED THE BUS FARE WAS
$60.
THIS TREE IS, YOU KNOW...

$60.
THIS TREE IS, YOU KNOW...
IT'S NOT MUCH NOW.

THIS TREE IS, YOU KNOW...
IT'S NOT MUCH NOW.
IT'S A FIRE HAZARD RIGHT NOW.

IT'S NOT MUCH NOW.
IT'S A FIRE HAZARD RIGHT NOW.
OH, GEE, A MATCH... THAT

IT'S A FIRE HAZARD RIGHT NOW.
OH, GEE, A MATCH... THAT
THING WOULD GO UP LIKE THIS.

OH, GEE, A MATCH... THAT
THING WOULD GO UP LIKE THIS.
YOUR STORY HAS TOUCHED ALL OF

THING WOULD GO UP LIKE THIS.
YOUR STORY HAS TOUCHED ALL OF
US, AS I SAID.

YOUR STORY HAS TOUCHED ALL OF
US, AS I SAID.
AND WE WANT TO MAKE YOUR

US, AS I SAID.
AND WE WANT TO MAKE YOUR
CHRISTMAS A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER

AND WE WANT TO MAKE YOUR
CHRISTMAS A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER
IF WE CAN, MR... WHAT WAS THE

CHRISTMAS A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER
IF WE CAN, MR... WHAT WAS THE
NAME AGAIN?

IF WE CAN, MR... WHAT WAS THE
NAME AGAIN?
PARNELL W. GARR.

NAME AGAIN?
PARNELL W. GARR.
PARNELL GARR OF TACOMA,

PARNELL W. GARR.
PARNELL GARR OF TACOMA,
WASHINGTON.

PARNELL GARR OF TACOMA,
WASHINGTON.
YES.

WASHINGTON.
YES.
WE WOULD LIKE TO MAKE...

YES.
WE WOULD LIKE TO MAKE...
WAIT.

WE WOULD LIKE TO MAKE...
WAIT.
LISTEN, I DON'T WANT ANY TEARS

WAIT.
LISTEN, I DON'T WANT ANY TEARS
RUNNING.

LISTEN, I DON'T WANT ANY TEARS
RUNNING.
I DIDN'T PUT ALL MY EGGS IN ONE

RUNNING.
I DIDN'T PUT ALL MY EGGS IN ONE
BASKET.

I DIDN'T PUT ALL MY EGGS IN ONE
BASKET.
OH, YOU'VE GOT AN ACE IN THE

BASKET.
OH, YOU'VE GOT AN ACE IN THE
HOLE?

OH, YOU'VE GOT AN ACE IN THE
HOLE?
YOU BET.

HOLE?
YOU BET.
DO YOU HAVE A FEW MOMENTS?

YOU BET.
DO YOU HAVE A FEW MOMENTS?
I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU HOW I'M

DO YOU HAVE A FEW MOMENTS?
I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU HOW I'M
GONNA BAIL OUT.

I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU HOW I'M
GONNA BAIL OUT.
NO, IF THIS WAS MY THING, I'D

GONNA BAIL OUT.
NO, IF THIS WAS MY THING, I'D
LOSE EVERYTHING.

NO, IF THIS WAS MY THING, I'D
LOSE EVERYTHING.
OH, YOU MAY HAVE A HAPPY

LOSE EVERYTHING.
OH, YOU MAY HAVE A HAPPY
CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL, HUH?

OH, YOU MAY HAVE A HAPPY
CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL, HUH?
WELL, WHAT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS

CHRISTMAS AFTER ALL, HUH?
WELL, WHAT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS
GOING TO BE A COMPLETELY SAD

WELL, WHAT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS
GOING TO BE A COMPLETELY SAD
STORY MAY TURN OUT A LITTLE BIT

GOING TO BE A COMPLETELY SAD
STORY MAY TURN OUT A LITTLE BIT
BETTER AFTER ALL.

STORY MAY TURN OUT A LITTLE BIT
BETTER AFTER ALL.
[CRASH!]

BETTER AFTER ALL.
[CRASH!]
M-MR. GARR?

[CRASH!]
M-MR. GARR?
THIS... THIS IS MY ACE IN THE

M-MR. GARR?
THIS... THIS IS MY ACE IN THE
HOLE HERE.

THIS... THIS IS MY ACE IN THE
HOLE HERE.
SIT DOWN.

HOLE HERE.
SIT DOWN.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

SIT DOWN.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, I MEAN...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WELL, I MEAN...
SEE, I'M A GLASSBLOWER BY TRADE.

WELL, I MEAN...
SEE, I'M A GLASSBLOWER BY TRADE.
AND THESE ARE ALL HANDMADE

SEE, I'M A GLASSBLOWER BY TRADE.
AND THESE ARE ALL HANDMADE
CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS THAT I

AND THESE ARE ALL HANDMADE
CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS THAT I
SELL TO TIFFANY'S AND

CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS THAT I
SELL TO TIFFANY'S AND
SAKS FIFTH AVENUE.

SELL TO TIFFANY'S AND
SAKS FIFTH AVENUE.
EXPENSIVE ONES.

SAKS FIFTH AVENUE.
EXPENSIVE ONES.
$1,200 APIECE.

EXPENSIVE ONES.
$1,200 APIECE.
YOU MUST HAVE $15,000,

$1,200 APIECE.
YOU MUST HAVE $15,000,
$20,000 WORTH OF ORNAMENTS IN

YOU MUST HAVE $15,000,
$20,000 WORTH OF ORNAMENTS IN
THERE.

$20,000 WORTH OF ORNAMENTS IN
THERE.
THIS MY Y...

THERE.
THIS MY Y...
THIS IS ALL HAND-PAINTED.

THIS MY Y...
THIS IS ALL HAND-PAINTED.
THIS IS 24-KARAT GOLD.

THIS IS ALL HAND-PAINTED.
THIS IS 24-KARAT GOLD.
I UNDERSTAND.

THIS IS 24-KARAT GOLD.
I UNDERSTAND.
I'M AFRAID WE DO HAVE A RATHER

I UNDERSTAND.
I'M AFRAID WE DO HAVE A RATHER
SAD STORY HERE AFTER ALL,

I'M AFRAID WE DO HAVE A RATHER
SAD STORY HERE AFTER ALL,
MR. GARR.

SAD STORY HERE AFTER ALL,
MR. GARR.
BUT WE WANT TO MAKE YOUR

MR. GARR.
BUT WE WANT TO MAKE YOUR
CHRISTMAS A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER

BUT WE WANT TO MAKE YOUR
CHRISTMAS A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER
AND GO BACK TO SEATTLE WITH THIS

CHRISTMAS A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER
AND GO BACK TO SEATTLE WITH THIS
CARPENTER'S EXTENSION RULER.

AND GO BACK TO SEATTLE WITH THIS
CARPENTER'S EXTENSION RULER.
I THINK YOU'LL FIND A GREAT DEAL

CARPENTER'S EXTENSION RULER.
I THINK YOU'LL FIND A GREAT DEAL
OF USE FOR IT.

I THINK YOU'LL FIND A GREAT DEAL
OF USE FOR IT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING

OF USE FOR IT.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING
WITH US.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR BEING
WITH US.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
UH, GENTLEMEN, CAN I GET YOUR
ATTENTION?

UH, GENTLEMEN, CAN I GET YOUR
ATTENTION?
NOW, GO AHEAD.

ATTENTION?
NOW, GO AHEAD.
YOU CAN FINISH YOUR COFFEE.

NOW, GO AHEAD.
YOU CAN FINISH YOUR COFFEE.
AT THIS TIME, I'D LIKE TO CALL

YOU CAN FINISH YOUR COFFEE.
AT THIS TIME, I'D LIKE TO CALL
THE MEETING OF THE ST. MICKEY'S

AT THIS TIME, I'D LIKE TO CALL
THE MEETING OF THE ST. MICKEY'S
KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS TO ORDER.

THE MEETING OF THE ST. MICKEY'S
KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS TO ORDER.
AND SINCE FATHER FITZFAGAN IS

KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS TO ORDER.
AND SINCE FATHER FITZFAGAN IS
AWAY IN PALM SPRINGS FOR THE

AND SINCE FATHER FITZFAGAN IS
AWAY IN PALM SPRINGS FOR THE
HOLIDAYS, I'D LIKE TO CALL ON

AWAY IN PALM SPRINGS FOR THE
HOLIDAYS, I'D LIKE TO CALL ON
OUR GUEST, FATHER BOB KIMBUTU,

HOLIDAYS, I'D LIKE TO CALL ON
OUR GUEST, FATHER BOB KIMBUTU,
WHO IS VISITING US FROM

OUR GUEST, FATHER BOB KIMBUTU,
WHO IS VISITING US FROM
TANZANIA.

WHO IS VISITING US FROM
TANZANIA.
FATHER BOB.

TANZANIA.
FATHER BOB.
[APPLAUSE]

FATHER BOB.
[APPLAUSE]
DEAR GOD, PLEASE BLESS THIS

[APPLAUSE]
DEAR GOD, PLEASE BLESS THIS
MEETING OF THE ST. MICKEY'S

DEAR GOD, PLEASE BLESS THIS
MEETING OF THE ST. MICKEY'S
KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS.

MEETING OF THE ST. MICKEY'S
KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS.
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS.
[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
AMEN.

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
AMEN.
All: AMEN.

AMEN.
All: AMEN.
THANK YOU, FATHER BOB.

All: AMEN.
THANK YOU, FATHER BOB.
AND NOW I'D LIKE TO CALL ON OUR

THANK YOU, FATHER BOB.
AND NOW I'D LIKE TO CALL ON OUR
DEPUTY GRAND KNIGHT AND SCRIBE,

AND NOW I'D LIKE TO CALL ON OUR
DEPUTY GRAND KNIGHT AND SCRIBE,
JACK KNEEHOUSER FOR REPORT.

DEPUTY GRAND KNIGHT AND SCRIBE,
JACK KNEEHOUSER FOR REPORT.
JACK, COME ON UP.

JACK KNEEHOUSER FOR REPORT.
JACK, COME ON UP.
[APPLAUSE]

JACK, COME ON UP.
[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, FRANK.

[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, FRANK.
YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT

THANK YOU, FRANK.
YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT
OUR GRAND NIGHT BROTHER

YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT
OUR GRAND NIGHT BROTHER
FRANK LEARY ISN'T THE HANDYMAN

OUR GRAND NIGHT BROTHER
FRANK LEARY ISN'T THE HANDYMAN
AROUND THE HOUSE, BUT HIS LOVELY

FRANK LEARY ISN'T THE HANDYMAN
AROUND THE HOUSE, BUT HIS LOVELY
WIFE, IRENE, TOLD ME THE OTHER

AROUND THE HOUSE, BUT HIS LOVELY
WIFE, IRENE, TOLD ME THE OTHER
DAY THAT HE WENT TO A LUMBERYARD

WIFE, IRENE, TOLD ME THE OTHER
DAY THAT HE WENT TO A LUMBERYARD
AND HE WENT IN AND HE SAID,

DAY THAT HE WENT TO A LUMBERYARD
AND HE WENT IN AND HE SAID,
"I WANT TO BUY A 2x4."

AND HE WENT IN AND HE SAID,
"I WANT TO BUY A 2x4."
THE SALESMAN SAID, "WELL, HOW

"I WANT TO BUY A 2x4."
THE SALESMAN SAID, "WELL, HOW
LONG DO YOU WANT IT?" WHICH

THE SALESMAN SAID, "WELL, HOW
LONG DO YOU WANT IT?" WHICH
BROTHER GRAND KNIGHT LEARY

LONG DO YOU WANT IT?" WHICH
BROTHER GRAND KNIGHT LEARY
REPLIED, "OH, I WANT TO KEEP

BROTHER GRAND KNIGHT LEARY
REPLIED, "OH, I WANT TO KEEP
IT."

REPLIED, "OH, I WANT TO KEEP
IT."
[LAUGHTER]

IT."
[LAUGHTER]
JUST KIDDING YOU, FRANK.

[LAUGHTER]
JUST KIDDING YOU, FRANK.
THE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE MEET...

JUST KIDDING YOU, FRANK.
THE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE MEET...
UH, MET LAST... ONE WEEK AGO,

THE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE MEET...
UH, MET LAST... ONE WEEK AGO,
AND, WELL, THEY DECIDED TO PLAN

UH, MET LAST... ONE WEEK AGO,
AND, WELL, THEY DECIDED TO PLAN
THE CHRISTMAS SPORTS BANQUET,

AND, WELL, THEY DECIDED TO PLAN
THE CHRISTMAS SPORTS BANQUET,
AND IT WAS AGREED THAT THERE

THE CHRISTMAS SPORTS BANQUET,
AND IT WAS AGREED THAT THERE
WOULD BE SPAGHETTI AND NO GUEST

AND IT WAS AGREED THAT THERE
WOULD BE SPAGHETTI AND NO GUEST
SPEAKER.

WOULD BE SPAGHETTI AND NO GUEST
SPEAKER.
THE MEETING WAS ADJOURNED, THE

SPEAKER.
THE MEETING WAS ADJOURNED, THE
BAR WAS OPENED, AND I MOVE THAT

THE MEETING WAS ADJOURNED, THE
BAR WAS OPENED, AND I MOVE THAT
THE MINUTES BE APPROVED AS READ.

BAR WAS OPENED, AND I MOVE THAT
THE MINUTES BE APPROVED AS READ.
UH, I, UH, SECOND APPROVED

THE MINUTES BE APPROVED AS READ.
UH, I, UH, SECOND APPROVED
AS READ.

UH, I, UH, SECOND APPROVED
AS READ.
NOW, BECAUSE WE'RE ALL IN

AS READ.
NOW, BECAUSE WE'RE ALL IN
SUCH A GOOD HOLIDAY MOOD, I

NOW, BECAUSE WE'RE ALL IN
SUCH A GOOD HOLIDAY MOOD, I
WON'T READ THE FINANCIAL REPORT.

SUCH A GOOD HOLIDAY MOOD, I
WON'T READ THE FINANCIAL REPORT.
I WILL SAY TO GET OUT AND SELL

WON'T READ THE FINANCIAL REPORT.
I WILL SAY TO GET OUT AND SELL
THOSE RAFFLE TICKETS AND THAT

I WILL SAY TO GET OUT AND SELL
THOSE RAFFLE TICKETS AND THAT
BUICK REGAL.

THOSE RAFFLE TICKETS AND THAT
BUICK REGAL.
I MEAN, COME ON.

BUICK REGAL.
I MEAN, COME ON.
I MEAN, WE'RE GONNA BE DRAWING

I MEAN, COME ON.
I MEAN, WE'RE GONNA BE DRAWING
THOSE AT OUR NEW YEAR'S EVE

I MEAN, WE'RE GONNA BE DRAWING
THOSE AT OUR NEW YEAR'S EVE
PARTY.

THOSE AT OUR NEW YEAR'S EVE
PARTY.
LET'S TAKE A CUE FROM

PARTY.
LET'S TAKE A CUE FROM
PHIL BURKE AT BURKE CAMERAS...

LET'S TAKE A CUE FROM
PHIL BURKE AT BURKE CAMERAS...
ALREADY SOLD 91 TICKETS.

PHIL BURKE AT BURKE CAMERAS...
ALREADY SOLD 91 TICKETS.
MAKE THAT 93.

ALREADY SOLD 91 TICKETS.
MAKE THAT 93.
93. OKAY, GREAT.

MAKE THAT 93.
93. OKAY, GREAT.
[APPLAUSE]

93. OKAY, GREAT.
[APPLAUSE]
WELL, THAT'S ALL.

[APPLAUSE]
WELL, THAT'S ALL.
JUST GET OUT AND WIN... YOU

WELL, THAT'S ALL.
JUST GET OUT AND WIN... YOU
KNOW, SELL THOSE TICKETS.

JUST GET OUT AND WIN... YOU
KNOW, SELL THOSE TICKETS.
YEAH, GET OUT THERE.

KNOW, SELL THOSE TICKETS.
YEAH, GET OUT THERE.
COME ON. ALL RIGHT.

YEAH, GET OUT THERE.
COME ON. ALL RIGHT.
UH, WE ALWAYS COLLECT TOYS TO

COME ON. ALL RIGHT.
UH, WE ALWAYS COLLECT TOYS TO
SEND TO THE MISSION OVERSEAS.

UH, WE ALWAYS COLLECT TOYS TO
SEND TO THE MISSION OVERSEAS.
THIS YEAR WE DECIDED TO GIVE

SEND TO THE MISSION OVERSEAS.
THIS YEAR WE DECIDED TO GIVE
THESE TOYS TO FATHER KIMBUTU TO

THIS YEAR WE DECIDED TO GIVE
THESE TOYS TO FATHER KIMBUTU TO
TAKE WITH HIM BACK TO TANZANIA.

THESE TOYS TO FATHER KIMBUTU TO
TAKE WITH HIM BACK TO TANZANIA.
ONCE AGAIN, MOST OF THE TOYS

TAKE WITH HIM BACK TO TANZANIA.
ONCE AGAIN, MOST OF THE TOYS
WE COLLECTED WERE BROKEN, BUT

ONCE AGAIN, MOST OF THE TOYS
WE COLLECTED WERE BROKEN, BUT
THANKS TO NEIL DeBLAZY OVER AT

WE COLLECTED WERE BROKEN, BUT
THANKS TO NEIL DeBLAZY OVER AT
TOYS "R" NEIL DeBLAZY

THANKS TO NEIL DeBLAZY OVER AT
TOYS "R" NEIL DeBLAZY
WE GOT... WE GOT A LOT OF FINE

TOYS "R" NEIL DeBLAZY
WE GOT... WE GOT A LOT OF FINE
TOYS.

WE GOT... WE GOT A LOT OF FINE
TOYS.
THERE'S NEIL RIGHT THERE.

TOYS.
THERE'S NEIL RIGHT THERE.
WE GOT VIDEO GAMES...

THERE'S NEIL RIGHT THERE.
WE GOT VIDEO GAMES...
EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW?

WE GOT VIDEO GAMES...
EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW?
WE HOPE, UH... WE HOPE THEY

EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW?
WE HOPE, UH... WE HOPE THEY
ENJOY THEM.

WE HOPE, UH... WE HOPE THEY
ENJOY THEM.
UH, FATHER?

ENJOY THEM.
UH, FATHER?
FATHER BOB.

UH, FATHER?
FATHER BOB.
[APPLAUSE]

FATHER BOB.
[APPLAUSE]
UH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

[APPLAUSE]
UH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
I BROUGHT SOME SLIDES TO SHOW

UH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
I BROUGHT SOME SLIDES TO SHOW
YOU WHAT OUR LIFE IS LIKE IN THE

I BROUGHT SOME SLIDES TO SHOW
YOU WHAT OUR LIFE IS LIKE IN THE
MISSION IN TANZANIA.

YOU WHAT OUR LIFE IS LIKE IN THE
MISSION IN TANZANIA.
SO IF YOU ARE READY...

MISSION IN TANZANIA.
SO IF YOU ARE READY...
UH, FATHER, I JUST REMEMBERED

SO IF YOU ARE READY...
UH, FATHER, I JUST REMEMBERED
THE BOY SCOUTS WERE HERE LAST

UH, FATHER, I JUST REMEMBERED
THE BOY SCOUTS WERE HERE LAST
NIGHT, AND THEY BROKE THE SLIDE

THE BOY SCOUTS WERE HERE LAST
NIGHT, AND THEY BROKE THE SLIDE
PROJECTOR.

NIGHT, AND THEY BROKE THE SLIDE
PROJECTOR.
I'M SORRY, FATHER.

PROJECTOR.
I'M SORRY, FATHER.
WELL, I'LL JUST PASS THEM

I'M SORRY, FATHER.
WELL, I'LL JUST PASS THEM
AROUND, AND YOU CAN HOLD THEM UP

WELL, I'LL JUST PASS THEM
AROUND, AND YOU CAN HOLD THEM UP
TO THE LIGHT.

AROUND, AND YOU CAN HOLD THEM UP
TO THE LIGHT.
YES.

TO THE LIGHT.
YES.
BUT ANYWAY, THANK YOU ALL FOR

YES.
BUT ANYWAY, THANK YOU ALL FOR
THE TOYS AND BLESS YOU ALL.

BUT ANYWAY, THANK YOU ALL FOR
THE TOYS AND BLESS YOU ALL.
BLESS YOU ALL.

THE TOYS AND BLESS YOU ALL.
BLESS YOU ALL.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

BLESS YOU ALL.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU, PADRE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU, PADRE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU, PADRE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
BEAUTIFUL.
AND NOW TO THE MAIN EVENT OF THE

BEAUTIFUL.
AND NOW TO THE MAIN EVENT OF THE
EVENING.

AND NOW TO THE MAIN EVENT OF THE
EVENING.
NOW THE AWARDS FOR THE CHRISTMAS

EVENING.
NOW THE AWARDS FOR THE CHRISTMAS
INVITATIONAL BASKETBALL

NOW THE AWARDS FOR THE CHRISTMAS
INVITATIONAL BASKETBALL
TOURNAMENT.

INVITATIONAL BASKETBALL
TOURNAMENT.
THE SECOND-PLACE TROPHY THIS

TOURNAMENT.
THE SECOND-PLACE TROPHY THIS
YEAR GOES TO OUR OWN

THE SECOND-PLACE TROPHY THIS
YEAR GOES TO OUR OWN
ST. MICKEY'S TEAM.

YEAR GOES TO OUR OWN
ST. MICKEY'S TEAM.
SO HERE WITH AN ACCEPTANCE, AND

ST. MICKEY'S TEAM.
SO HERE WITH AN ACCEPTANCE, AND
MAYBE AN EXPLANATION AS TO WHY

SO HERE WITH AN ACCEPTANCE, AND
MAYBE AN EXPLANATION AS TO WHY
WE LOST FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 15

MAYBE AN EXPLANATION AS TO WHY
WE LOST FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 15
YEARS, IS OUR NEW COACH,

WE LOST FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 15
YEARS, IS OUR NEW COACH,
SISTER SERENA.

YEARS, IS OUR NEW COACH,
SISTER SERENA.
[APPLAUSE]

SISTER SERENA.
[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU.

[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU.
IT'S A LOVELY TROPHY.

THANK YOU.
IT'S A LOVELY TROPHY.
I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED.

IT'S A LOVELY TROPHY.
I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED.
I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE STRESSED

I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED.
I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE STRESSED
FUNDAMENTALS MORE.

I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE STRESSED
FUNDAMENTALS MORE.
WE DID VERY WELL EVEN INTO THE

FUNDAMENTALS MORE.
WE DID VERY WELL EVEN INTO THE
SEMIFINALS WHEN WE BEAT

WE DID VERY WELL EVEN INTO THE
SEMIFINALS WHEN WE BEAT
OUR LADY OF VICTORY.

SEMIFINALS WHEN WE BEAT
OUR LADY OF VICTORY.
AND WE ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE A

OUR LADY OF VICTORY.
AND WE ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE A
TOUGH TIME WITH

AND WE ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE A
TOUGH TIME WITH
OUR LADY OF VICTORY, BUT WE'VE

TOUGH TIME WITH
OUR LADY OF VICTORY, BUT WE'VE
GOT SOME BIG KIDS COMING UP, AND

OUR LADY OF VICTORY, BUT WE'VE
GOT SOME BIG KIDS COMING UP, AND
WE HOPE TO DO BETTER NEXT YEAR.

GOT SOME BIG KIDS COMING UP, AND
WE HOPE TO DO BETTER NEXT YEAR.
AND I DO THINK THAT THE

WE HOPE TO DO BETTER NEXT YEAR.
AND I DO THINK THAT THE
OFFICIATING COULD HAVE BEEN

AND I DO THINK THAT THE
OFFICIATING COULD HAVE BEEN
BETTER.

OFFICIATING COULD HAVE BEEN
BETTER.
UH, THANK YOU, SISTER.

BETTER.
UH, THANK YOU, SISTER.
THANK YOU.

UH, THANK YOU, SISTER.
THANK YOU.
[APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.
[APPLAUSE]
UH... AND NOW, UH, TO ACCEPT THE

[APPLAUSE]
UH... AND NOW, UH, TO ACCEPT THE
BRISH... BISHOP BROPHY, UH,

UH... AND NOW, UH, TO ACCEPT THE
BRISH... BISHOP BROPHY, UH,
CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY, THE COACH

BRISH... BISHOP BROPHY, UH,
CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY, THE COACH
OF THE TEMPLE BETH EL TEAM,

CHAMPIONSHIP TROPHY, THE COACH
OF THE TEMPLE BETH EL TEAM,
OUR SPECIAL GUEST,

OF THE TEMPLE BETH EL TEAM,
OUR SPECIAL GUEST,
COACH MILT "THE STILT" FINKLE.

OUR SPECIAL GUEST,
COACH MILT "THE STILT" FINKLE.
MILT.

COACH MILT "THE STILT" FINKLE.
MILT.
[APPLAUSE]

MILT.
[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
IT WAS A FINE TOURNAMENT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
IT WAS A FINE TOURNAMENT.
YOU HAD A FINE TEAM.

IT WAS A FINE TOURNAMENT.
YOU HAD A FINE TEAM.
MAYBE JUST AS GOOD AS OURS.

YOU HAD A FINE TEAM.
MAYBE JUST AS GOOD AS OURS.
A BIT SHORTER PERHAPS AND NOT

MAYBE JUST AS GOOD AS OURS.
A BIT SHORTER PERHAPS AND NOT
QUITE AS AGGRESSIVE UNDER THE

A BIT SHORTER PERHAPS AND NOT
QUITE AS AGGRESSIVE UNDER THE
BOARDS.

QUITE AS AGGRESSIVE UNDER THE
BOARDS.
THEY SEEMED TO LACK THE DESIRE

BOARDS.
THEY SEEMED TO LACK THE DESIRE
THAT'S SO IMPORTANT IN A WINNER.

THEY SEEMED TO LACK THE DESIRE
THAT'S SO IMPORTANT IN A WINNER.
OF COURSE, SISTER SERENA'S OWN

THAT'S SO IMPORTANT IN A WINNER.
OF COURSE, SISTER SERENA'S OWN
DEFENSE WAS HELPLESS AGAINST OUR

OF COURSE, SISTER SERENA'S OWN
DEFENSE WAS HELPLESS AGAINST OUR
FAST BREAK.

DEFENSE WAS HELPLESS AGAINST OUR
FAST BREAK.
AND ALTHOUGH THE TALENT SEEMED

FAST BREAK.
AND ALTHOUGH THE TALENT SEEMED
TO BE THERE, IN SOME CASES, IT

AND ALTHOUGH THE TALENT SEEMED
TO BE THERE, IN SOME CASES, IT
SEEMED THEY LACKED THE STAMINA

TO BE THERE, IN SOME CASES, IT
SEEMED THEY LACKED THE STAMINA
TO WITHSTAND OUR FULL-COURT

SEEMED THEY LACKED THE STAMINA
TO WITHSTAND OUR FULL-COURT
PRESS FOR THE WHOLE GAME.

TO WITHSTAND OUR FULL-COURT
PRESS FOR THE WHOLE GAME.
WELL, A LOT OF OUR GUYS REMARKED

PRESS FOR THE WHOLE GAME.
WELL, A LOT OF OUR GUYS REMARKED
THAT THEY HADN'T EVEN WORKED UP

WELL, A LOT OF OUR GUYS REMARKED
THAT THEY HADN'T EVEN WORKED UP
A SWEAT.

THAT THEY HADN'T EVEN WORKED UP
A SWEAT.
WE ENJOYED IT, AND WE'RE LOOKING

A SWEAT.
WE ENJOYED IT, AND WE'RE LOOKING
FORWARD TO NEXT YEAR.

WE ENJOYED IT, AND WE'RE LOOKING
FORWARD TO NEXT YEAR.
[COUGHS]

FORWARD TO NEXT YEAR.
[COUGHS]
UH, THANK YOU.

[COUGHS]
UH, THANK YOU.
MM. GOOD.

UH, THANK YOU.
MM. GOOD.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

MM. GOOD.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELL, SOME OF THAT TALENT THAT

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WELL, SOME OF THAT TALENT THAT
THE GOOD COACH FINKLE REFERRED

WELL, SOME OF THAT TALENT THAT
THE GOOD COACH FINKLE REFERRED
TO ON ST. MICKEY'S TEAM WAS A

THE GOOD COACH FINKLE REFERRED
TO ON ST. MICKEY'S TEAM WAS A
PLAYER VOTED MOST SPORTSMANLIKE

TO ON ST. MICKEY'S TEAM WAS A
PLAYER VOTED MOST SPORTSMANLIKE
IN THE TOURNAMENT... NONE OTHER

PLAYER VOTED MOST SPORTSMANLIKE
IN THE TOURNAMENT... NONE OTHER
THAN MY OWN SON

IN THE TOURNAMENT... NONE OTHER
THAN MY OWN SON
FRANCIS "JACKO" LEARY JUNIOR.

THAN MY OWN SON
FRANCIS "JACKO" LEARY JUNIOR.
JACKO, COME ON UP HERE.

FRANCIS "JACKO" LEARY JUNIOR.
JACKO, COME ON UP HERE.
[APPLAUSE]

JACKO, COME ON UP HERE.
[APPLAUSE]
YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING,

[APPLAUSE]
YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING,
JACKO?

YOU WANT TO SAY SOMETHING,
JACKO?
GO ON.

JACKO?
GO ON.
UH, YEAH. NO SWEAT.

GO ON.
UH, YEAH. NO SWEAT.
GET OUT OF HERE.

UH, YEAH. NO SWEAT.
GET OUT OF HERE.
NO, SERIOUSLY.

GET OUT OF HERE.
NO, SERIOUSLY.
SERIOUSLY, THE OFFICIATING

NO, SERIOUSLY.
SERIOUSLY, THE OFFICIATING
COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.

SERIOUSLY, THE OFFICIATING
COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.
SIT DOWN.

COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.
SIT DOWN.
GET OUT OF HERE.

SIT DOWN.
GET OUT OF HERE.
[APPLAUSE]

GET OUT OF HERE.
[APPLAUSE]
BEFORE WE ADJOURN, WE HAVE A

[APPLAUSE]
BEFORE WE ADJOURN, WE HAVE A
LITTLE PRESENTATION.

BEFORE WE ADJOURN, WE HAVE A
LITTLE PRESENTATION.
I'D LIKE TO CALL OUT THOSE

LITTLE PRESENTATION.
I'D LIKE TO CALL OUT THOSE
WONDERFUL GIRLS IN THE KITCHEN

I'D LIKE TO CALL OUT THOSE
WONDERFUL GIRLS IN THE KITCHEN
WHO PREPARED THIS TERRIFIC

WONDERFUL GIRLS IN THE KITCHEN
WHO PREPARED THIS TERRIFIC
SPAGHETTI DINNER FOR US.

WHO PREPARED THIS TERRIFIC
SPAGHETTI DINNER FOR US.
HOW ABOUT IT?

SPAGHETTI DINNER FOR US.
HOW ABOUT IT?
LET'S HEAR IT FOR THEM.

HOW ABOUT IT?
LET'S HEAR IT FOR THEM.
COME ON, GIRLS!

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THEM.
COME ON, GIRLS!
COME ON UP HERE!

COME ON, GIRLS!
COME ON UP HERE!
WE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU, GIRLS.

COME ON UP HERE!
WE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU, GIRLS.
GET UP HERE. COME ON.

WE GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU, GIRLS.
GET UP HERE. COME ON.
ON BEHALF OF ST. MICKEY'S

GET UP HERE. COME ON.
ON BEHALF OF ST. MICKEY'S
COUNCIL, A LITTLE CHRISTMAS

ON BEHALF OF ST. MICKEY'S
COUNCIL, A LITTLE CHRISTMAS
CHEER FOR YOU RIGHT HERE.

COUNCIL, A LITTLE CHRISTMAS
CHEER FOR YOU RIGHT HERE.
THERE YOU GO.

CHEER FOR YOU RIGHT HERE.
THERE YOU GO.
AREN'T THEY TERRIFIC?

THERE YOU GO.
AREN'T THEY TERRIFIC?
AND, UH, WE'D LIKE YOU GIRLS TO

AREN'T THEY TERRIFIC?
AND, UH, WE'D LIKE YOU GIRLS TO
JOIN US AS WE CLOSE, SINGING A

AND, UH, WE'D LIKE YOU GIRLS TO
JOIN US AS WE CLOSE, SINGING A
CHRISTMAS CAROL.

JOIN US AS WE CLOSE, SINGING A
CHRISTMAS CAROL.
HOW ABOUT

CHRISTMAS CAROL.
HOW ABOUT
"O LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM"?

HOW ABOUT
"O LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM"?
ALL RIGHT.

"O LITTLE TOWN OF BETHLEHEM"?
ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
[NOTE PLAYS]

THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
[NOTE PLAYS]
♪ O LITTLE TOWN OF

[NOTE PLAYS]
♪ O LITTLE TOWN OF
BETHLEHEM ♪

♪ O LITTLE TOWN OF
BETHLEHEM ♪
♪ UH, DA, DA-DA-DA, DA-DA ♪

BETHLEHEM ♪
♪ UH, DA, DA-DA-DA, DA-DA ♪
OKAY, I GUESS WE DON'T KNOW

♪ UH, DA, DA-DA-DA, DA-DA ♪
OKAY, I GUESS WE DON'T KNOW
THAT ONE.

OKAY, I GUESS WE DON'T KNOW
THAT ONE.
HOW ABOUT "NOEL"?

THAT ONE.
HOW ABOUT "NOEL"?
"NOEL"?

HOW ABOUT "NOEL"?
"NOEL"?
WE ALL KNOW THAT.

"NOEL"?
WE ALL KNOW THAT.
OKAY.

WE ALL KNOW THAT.
OKAY.
[NOTE PLAYS]

OKAY.
[NOTE PLAYS]
♪ NOEL, NOEL, NOEL, NOEL ♪

[NOTE PLAYS]
♪ NOEL, NOEL, NOEL, NOEL ♪
♪ NOEL, NOEL, NOEL, NOEL ♪

♪ NOEL, NOEL, NOEL, NOEL ♪
♪ NOEL, NOEL, NOEL, NOEL ♪
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

♪ NOEL, NOEL, NOEL, NOEL ♪
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
NEXT YEAR WE'RE GONNA GET SOME

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
NEXT YEAR WE'RE GONNA GET SOME
SONG SHEETS WITH THE WORDS ON

NEXT YEAR WE'RE GONNA GET SOME
SONG SHEETS WITH THE WORDS ON
THEM.

SONG SHEETS WITH THE WORDS ON
THEM.
OKAY.

THEM.
OKAY.
HOW ABOUT "GOOD KING WENCESLAS"?

OKAY.
HOW ABOUT "GOOD KING WENCESLAS"?
AH, WE KNOW THAT.

HOW ABOUT "GOOD KING WENCESLAS"?
AH, WE KNOW THAT.
OKAY.

AH, WE KNOW THAT.
OKAY.
[NOTE PLAYS]

OKAY.
[NOTE PLAYS]
♪ GOOD KING WENCESLAS LOOKED

[NOTE PLAYS]
♪ GOOD KING WENCESLAS LOOKED
DOWN ON THE FEAST OF STEPHEN ♪

♪ GOOD KING WENCESLAS LOOKED
DOWN ON THE FEAST OF STEPHEN ♪
♪ WHEN THE SNOW WAS ALL ABOUT

DOWN ON THE FEAST OF STEPHEN ♪
♪ WHEN THE SNOW WAS ALL ABOUT
DEEP AND CRISP AND EVEN ♪

♪ WHEN THE SNOW WAS ALL ABOUT
DEEP AND CRISP AND EVEN ♪
♪ BRIGHTLY SHONE THE MOON

DEEP AND CRISP AND EVEN ♪
♪ BRIGHTLY SHONE THE MOON
THAT NIGHT, THOUGH THE FROST

♪ BRIGHTLY SHONE THE MOON
THAT NIGHT, THOUGH THE FROST
WAS CRUEL ♪

THAT NIGHT, THOUGH THE FROST
WAS CRUEL ♪
♪ THEN A POOR MAN CAME IN SIGHT

WAS CRUEL ♪
♪ THEN A POOR MAN CAME IN SIGHT
GATHERING WINTER FU... EL ♪

♪ THEN A POOR MAN CAME IN SIGHT
GATHERING WINTER FU... EL ♪
OKAY, MEETING'S ADJOURNED.

GATHERING WINTER FU... EL ♪
OKAY, MEETING'S ADJOURNED.
THE BAR IS OPEN!

[BAND PLAYS]

Announcer: ONCE AGAIN, HERE'S
PETER TOSH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

PETER TOSH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
["LEGALIZE MARIJUANA" PLAYS]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
["LEGALIZE MARIJUANA" PLAYS]
WARNING.

["LEGALIZE MARIJUANA" PLAYS]
WARNING.
THE SURGEON GENERAL WARNS

WARNING.
THE SURGEON GENERAL WARNS
CIGARETTE SMOKING IS

THE SURGEON GENERAL WARNS
CIGARETTE SMOKING IS
DANGEROUS.

CIGARETTE SMOKING IS
DANGEROUS.
DANGEROUS.

DANGEROUS.
DANGEROUS.
A HAZARD TO YOUR HEALTH.

DANGEROUS.
A HAZARD TO YOUR HEALTH.
DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

♪ THEM LEGALIZE MARIJUANA ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DOWN THERE IN JAMAICA ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DOWN THERE IN JAMAICA ♪
♪ WHOA ♪

♪ DOWN THERE IN JAMAICA ♪
♪ WHOA ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ WHOA ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ ONLY CURE FOR GLAUCOMA ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ ONLY CURE FOR GLAUCOMA ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ ONLY CURE FOR GLAUCOMA ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ I'M NOT THE BUSH DOCTOR ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ I'M NOT THE BUSH DOCTOR ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ I'M NOT THE BUSH DOCTOR ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ AND THERE WILL BE ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ AND THERE WILL BE ♪
♪ NO MORE ♪

♪ AND THERE WILL BE ♪
♪ NO MORE ♪
♪ NO MORE SMOKING AND FEELING

♪ NO MORE ♪
♪ NO MORE SMOKING AND FEELING
TENSE ♪

♪ NO MORE SMOKING AND FEELING
TENSE ♪
♪ WHEN I SEE THEM A COME,

TENSE ♪
♪ WHEN I SEE THEM A COME,
I DON'T HAVE TO JUMP NO FENCE ♪

♪ WHEN I SEE THEM A COME,
I DON'T HAVE TO JUMP NO FENCE ♪
♪ LEGALIZE MARIJUANA, YEAH ♪

I DON'T HAVE TO JUMP NO FENCE ♪
♪ LEGALIZE MARIJUANA, YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ LEGALIZE MARIJUANA, YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DOWN THERE ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DOWN THERE ♪
♪ DOWN THERE IN JAMAICA ♪

♪ DOWN THERE ♪
♪ DOWN THERE IN JAMAICA ♪
♪ WHOA ♪

♪ DOWN THERE IN JAMAICA ♪
♪ WHOA ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ WHOA ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ IT'S THE ONLY CURE ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ IT'S THE ONLY CURE ♪
♪ ONLY CURE FOR ASTHMA ♪

♪ IT'S THE ONLY CURE ♪
♪ ONLY CURE FOR ASTHMA ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ ONLY CURE FOR ASTHMA ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ I MAN OF THE MINISTER ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ I MAN OF THE MINISTER ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ I MAN OF THE MINISTER ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ AND THERE WILL BE ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ AND THERE WILL BE ♪
♪ NO MORE ♪

♪ AND THERE WILL BE ♪
♪ NO MORE ♪
♪ NO MORE POLICE BRUTALITY ♪

♪ NO MORE ♪
♪ NO MORE POLICE BRUTALITY ♪
♪ AND NO MORE DISRESPECT

♪ NO MORE POLICE BRUTALITY ♪
♪ AND NO MORE DISRESPECT
FOR HUMANITY ♪

♪ AND NO MORE DISRESPECT
FOR HUMANITY ♪
♪ LEGALIZE MARIJUANA, YEAH ♪

FOR HUMANITY ♪
♪ LEGALIZE MARIJUANA, YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ LEGALIZE MARIJUANA, YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DOWN THERE IN JAMAICA ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DOWN THERE IN JAMAICA ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ DOWN THERE IN JAMAICA ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ IT CAN BUILD UP YOUR

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ IT CAN BUILD UP YOUR
FAILING ECONOMY ♪

♪ IT CAN BUILD UP YOUR
FAILING ECONOMY ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

FAILING ECONOMY ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ ELIMINATE THE SLAVISH

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ ELIMINATE THE SLAVISH
MENTALITY ♪

♪ ELIMINATE THE SLAVISH
MENTALITY ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

MENTALITY ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ AND THERE WILL BE ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ AND THERE WILL BE ♪
♪ NO MORE ♪

♪ AND THERE WILL BE ♪
♪ NO MORE ♪
♪ NO MORE ILLEGAL

♪ NO MORE ♪
♪ NO MORE ILLEGAL
HUMILIATION ♪

♪ NO MORE ILLEGAL
HUMILIATION ♪
♪ AND NO MORE POLICE

HUMILIATION ♪
♪ AND NO MORE POLICE
INTERROGATION ♪

♪ AND NO MORE POLICE
INTERROGATION ♪
♪ LEGALIZE IT ♪

INTERROGATION ♪
♪ LEGALIZE IT ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ LEGALIZE IT ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ THERE WILL BE NO MORE,
NO MORE NEED TO SMOKE AND HIDE ♪
♪ WHEN YOU KNOW ♪

NO MORE NEED TO SMOKE AND HIDE ♪
♪ WHEN YOU KNOW ♪
♪ WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE TAKING ♪

♪ WHEN YOU KNOW ♪
♪ WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE TAKING ♪
♪ TAKING A LEGAL RIDE ♪

♪ WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE TAKING ♪
♪ TAKING A LEGAL RIDE ♪
♪ LEGALIZE THE MARIJUANA, YEAH ♪

♪ TAKING A LEGAL RIDE ♪
♪ LEGALIZE THE MARIJUANA, YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ LEGALIZE THE MARIJUANA, YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DOWN THERE, DOWN THERE,

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ DOWN THERE, DOWN THERE,
DOWN THERE, DOWN THERE IN

♪ DOWN THERE, DOWN THERE,
DOWN THERE, DOWN THERE IN
JAMAICA, YEAH ♪

DOWN THERE, DOWN THERE IN
JAMAICA, YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

JAMAICA, YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ OOH, WHEE ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ OOH, WHEE ♪
♪ ONLY CURE FOR GLAUCOMA ♪

♪ OOH, WHEE ♪
♪ ONLY CURE FOR GLAUCOMA ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ ONLY CURE FOR GLAUCOMA ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ I'M THE NEW MINISTER ♪

♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
♪ I'M THE NEW MINISTER ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ I'M THE NEW MINISTER ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NOW, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T
WANT A WREATH?
NO.

WANT A WREATH?
NO.
LISTEN, CAN YOU TIE THAT THING

NO.
LISTEN, CAN YOU TIE THAT THING
UP ON OUR CAR?

LISTEN, CAN YOU TIE THAT THING
UP ON OUR CAR?
NO.

UP ON OUR CAR?
NO.
SORRY, I CAN'T DO THAT.

NO.
SORRY, I CAN'T DO THAT.
HERE'S YOUR TREE.

SORRY, I CAN'T DO THAT.
HERE'S YOUR TREE.
THANKS A LOT.

HERE'S YOUR TREE.
THANKS A LOT.
HEY!

THANKS A LOT.
HEY!
HEY, YOU, GET OUT OF THERE.

HEY!
HEY, YOU, GET OUT OF THERE.
GET OUT OF THERE.

HEY, YOU, GET OUT OF THERE.
GET OUT OF THERE.
GET OUT OF THERE.

GET OUT OF THERE.
GET OUT OF THERE.
HEY, I WASN'T FINISHED YET,

GET OUT OF THERE.
HEY, I WASN'T FINISHED YET,
DO YOU MIND, FELLA?

HEY, I WASN'T FINISHED YET,
DO YOU MIND, FELLA?
WHAT IS THIS, CUSTOMERS ONLY OR

DO YOU MIND, FELLA?
WHAT IS THIS, CUSTOMERS ONLY OR
SOMETHING?

WHAT IS THIS, CUSTOMERS ONLY OR
SOMETHING?
JUST GET OUT OF THERE.

SOMETHING?
JUST GET OUT OF THERE.
I GOT A RESPECTABLE BUSINESS.

JUST GET OUT OF THERE.
I GOT A RESPECTABLE BUSINESS.
I SUPPOSE THIS MIGHT HAVE

I GOT A RESPECTABLE BUSINESS.
I SUPPOSE THIS MIGHT HAVE
HAPPENED ON THAT NIGHT OF THAT

I SUPPOSE THIS MIGHT HAVE
HAPPENED ON THAT NIGHT OF THAT
BLESSED EVENT IN BETHLEHEM.

HAPPENED ON THAT NIGHT OF THAT
BLESSED EVENT IN BETHLEHEM.
YEAH, ALMOST.

BLESSED EVENT IN BETHLEHEM.
YEAH, ALMOST.
I'M SURE JOSEPH WOULD HAVE SAID,

YEAH, ALMOST.
I'M SURE JOSEPH WOULD HAVE SAID,
"YOU SHEPHERDS, GO TO THE

I'M SURE JOSEPH WOULD HAVE SAID,
"YOU SHEPHERDS, GO TO THE
OUTHOUSE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF

"YOU SHEPHERDS, GO TO THE
OUTHOUSE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF
TOWN," OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

OUTHOUSE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF
TOWN," OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
YEAH, WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER

TOWN," OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
YEAH, WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

YEAH, WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?
GO ON. GET OUT OF THERE.

WITH YOU?
GO ON. GET OUT OF THERE.
HI.

GO ON. GET OUT OF THERE.
HI.
I WANT TO BUY A TREE.

HI.
I WANT TO BUY A TREE.
UH, CAN WE GET A DISCOUNT?

I WANT TO BUY A TREE.
UH, CAN WE GET A DISCOUNT?
WE'RE RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.

UH, CAN WE GET A DISCOUNT?
WE'RE RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.
OH, YOU'RE ONE OF THEM DAMES

WE'RE RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET.
OH, YOU'RE ONE OF THEM DAMES
FROM THE SWEDISH TIGER DEN

OH, YOU'RE ONE OF THEM DAMES
FROM THE SWEDISH TIGER DEN
MASSAGE.

FROM THE SWEDISH TIGER DEN
MASSAGE.
WELL, I'M NOT FROM

MASSAGE.
WELL, I'M NOT FROM
ZIPPY'S INSTA PRESS, HANDSOME.

WELL, I'M NOT FROM
ZIPPY'S INSTA PRESS, HANDSOME.
LISTEN, IT'S REALLY FREEZING OUT

ZIPPY'S INSTA PRESS, HANDSOME.
LISTEN, IT'S REALLY FREEZING OUT
HERE.

LISTEN, IT'S REALLY FREEZING OUT
HERE.
WELL, YOU OUGHT TO HAVE A

HERE.
WELL, YOU OUGHT TO HAVE A
PAIR OF MITTENS ON.

WELL, YOU OUGHT TO HAVE A
PAIR OF MITTENS ON.
I OUGHT TO HAVE A LOT OF

PAIR OF MITTENS ON.
I OUGHT TO HAVE A LOT OF
THINGS ON.

I OUGHT TO HAVE A LOT OF
THINGS ON.
LISTEN, UH, I'D TAKE THAT TREE

THINGS ON.
LISTEN, UH, I'D TAKE THAT TREE
IF YOU'D CARRY IT ACROSS THE

LISTEN, UH, I'D TAKE THAT TREE
IF YOU'D CARRY IT ACROSS THE
STREET FOR ME.

IF YOU'D CARRY IT ACROSS THE
STREET FOR ME.
WELL, NOW, I'M SORRY, BUT I

STREET FOR ME.
WELL, NOW, I'M SORRY, BUT I
CAN'T LEAVE MY BUSINESS.

WELL, NOW, I'M SORRY, BUT I
CAN'T LEAVE MY BUSINESS.
WELL, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO

CAN'T LEAVE MY BUSINESS.
WELL, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
GO AROUND THE WORLD IN TWO

WELL, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
GO AROUND THE WORLD IN TWO
MINUTES.

GO AROUND THE WORLD IN TWO
MINUTES.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, THIS

MINUTES.
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, THIS
TREE HERE GOES FOR 15 BUCKS.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, THIS
TREE HERE GOES FOR 15 BUCKS.
I MEAN, WHAT THE HECK?

TREE HERE GOES FOR 15 BUCKS.
I MEAN, WHAT THE HECK?
TWO MINUTES.

I MEAN, WHAT THE HECK?
TWO MINUTES.
[CHUCKLES]

TWO MINUTES.
[CHUCKLES]
RIGHT.

OH, LOOK AT THESE CHRISTMAS
TREES, JESSICA.
DO YOU THINK WE CAN FIND ONE

TREES, JESSICA.
DO YOU THINK WE CAN FIND ONE
SANTA WILL LIKE?

DO YOU THINK WE CAN FIND ONE
SANTA WILL LIKE?
MOMMY, I'M COLD, AND I WANT

SANTA WILL LIKE?
MOMMY, I'M COLD, AND I WANT
TO SEE MORE TOYS.

MOMMY, I'M COLD, AND I WANT
TO SEE MORE TOYS.
OH, THAT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU

TO SEE MORE TOYS.
OH, THAT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU
DIDN'T HAVE YOUR NAP.

OH, THAT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU
DIDN'T HAVE YOUR NAP.
NOW, LET'S BUY A CHRISTMAS TREE

DIDN'T HAVE YOUR NAP.
NOW, LET'S BUY A CHRISTMAS TREE
AND GO HOME.

NOW, LET'S BUY A CHRISTMAS TREE
AND GO HOME.
WELL, THERE'S THE MAN OVER

AND GO HOME.
WELL, THERE'S THE MAN OVER
THERE.

WELL, THERE'S THE MAN OVER
THERE.
EXCUSE ME, HONEY.

THERE.
EXCUSE ME, HONEY.
JUST ONE OF SANTA'S HELPERS ON A

EXCUSE ME, HONEY.
JUST ONE OF SANTA'S HELPERS ON A
FIVE.

JUST ONE OF SANTA'S HELPERS ON A
FIVE.
[LAUGHS]

FIVE.
[LAUGHS]
HOW'S IT GOING?

[LAUGHS]
HOW'S IT GOING?
SEE, YOU BETTER BE GOOD NOW,

HOW'S IT GOING?
SEE, YOU BETTER BE GOOD NOW,
JESSICA.

SEE, YOU BETTER BE GOOD NOW,
JESSICA.
HE'S NOT ONE OF SANTA'S

JESSICA.
HE'S NOT ONE OF SANTA'S
HELPERS.

HE'S NOT ONE OF SANTA'S
HELPERS.
LET'S GO.

HELPERS.
LET'S GO.
I'M COLD, AND I WANT SOME COCOA.

LET'S GO.
I'M COLD, AND I WANT SOME COCOA.
JESSICA, NOW.

I'M COLD, AND I WANT SOME COCOA.
JESSICA, NOW.
UH-OH.

JESSICA, NOW.
UH-OH.
THERE GOES ONE OF SANTA'S BIRDS.

UH-OH.
THERE GOES ONE OF SANTA'S BIRDS.
UH-OH.

THERE GOES ONE OF SANTA'S BIRDS.
UH-OH.
GEE, I HOPE HE DIDN'T SEE YOU

UH-OH.
GEE, I HOPE HE DIDN'T SEE YOU
BEING CRANKY LIKE THAT.

GEE, I HOPE HE DIDN'T SEE YOU
BEING CRANKY LIKE THAT.
SANTA'S BIRDS?

BEING CRANKY LIKE THAT.
SANTA'S BIRDS?
OH, YEAH.

SANTA'S BIRDS?
OH, YEAH.
THEY REPORT TO SANTA.

OH, YEAH.
THEY REPORT TO SANTA.
YOU SEE THEM AROUND.

THEY REPORT TO SANTA.
YOU SEE THEM AROUND.
THEN YOU KNOW THERE WAS SANTA.

YOU SEE THEM AROUND.
THEN YOU KNOW THERE WAS SANTA.
YOU KNOW THEY'RE OUT HERE

THEN YOU KNOW THERE WAS SANTA.
YOU KNOW THEY'RE OUT HERE
REPORTING BACK TO HIM, KEEPING

YOU KNOW THEY'RE OUT HERE
REPORTING BACK TO HIM, KEEPING
AN EYE ON THE KIDS, MAKING SURE

REPORTING BACK TO HIM, KEEPING
AN EYE ON THE KIDS, MAKING SURE
THEY'RE BEING GOOD SO FAR.

AN EYE ON THE KIDS, MAKING SURE
THEY'RE BEING GOOD SO FAR.
EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU SHOW US

THEY'RE BEING GOOD SO FAR.
EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU SHOW US
THAT TALL ONE, PLEASE?

EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU SHOW US
THAT TALL ONE, PLEASE?
UH, YEAH, I SUPPOSED I COULD.

THAT TALL ONE, PLEASE?
UH, YEAH, I SUPPOSED I COULD.
THIS ONE RIGHT HERE?

UH, YEAH, I SUPPOSED I COULD.
THIS ONE RIGHT HERE?
THIS IS YOUR NORWAY PINE RIGHT

THIS ONE RIGHT HERE?
THIS IS YOUR NORWAY PINE RIGHT
HERE.

THIS IS YOUR NORWAY PINE RIGHT
HERE.
I THINK.

HERE.
I THINK.
AND, OF COURSE, YOU GOT THE LONG

I THINK.
AND, OF COURSE, YOU GOT THE LONG
NEEDLES ON THIS BABY.

AND, OF COURSE, YOU GOT THE LONG
NEEDLES ON THIS BABY.
I GUESS THIS IS NORWAY.

NEEDLES ON THIS BABY.
I GUESS THIS IS NORWAY.
YOU GOT THE LONG NEEDLES ON THIS

I GUESS THIS IS NORWAY.
YOU GOT THE LONG NEEDLES ON THIS
ONE HERE.

YOU GOT THE LONG NEEDLES ON THIS
ONE HERE.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK,

ONE HERE.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK,
JESSICA?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK,
JESSICA?
IT'S NOT LIKE THE ONE WE HAVE

JESSICA?
IT'S NOT LIKE THE ONE WE HAVE
AT SCHOOL.

IT'S NOT LIKE THE ONE WE HAVE
AT SCHOOL.
YEAH, WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING

AT SCHOOL.
YEAH, WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING
TO THAT.

YEAH, WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING
TO THAT.
YOU KNOW, YOU GO WITH THE LONG

TO THAT.
YOU KNOW, YOU GO WITH THE LONG
NEEDLES RIGHT AWAY... GEEZ,

YOU KNOW, YOU GO WITH THE LONG
NEEDLES RIGHT AWAY... GEEZ,
THESE THINGS ARE TOUGH.

NEEDLES RIGHT AWAY... GEEZ,
THESE THINGS ARE TOUGH.
YOU GO WITH THE LONG NEEDLES

THESE THINGS ARE TOUGH.
YOU GO WITH THE LONG NEEDLES
RIGHT AWAY, AND YOU COULD POKE

YOU GO WITH THE LONG NEEDLES
RIGHT AWAY, AND YOU COULD POKE
AN EYE OUT, YOU KNOW?

RIGHT AWAY, AND YOU COULD POKE
AN EYE OUT, YOU KNOW?
AND THAT CAN RUIN A CHRISTMAS.

AN EYE OUT, YOU KNOW?
AND THAT CAN RUIN A CHRISTMAS.
[LAUGHS]

AND THAT CAN RUIN A CHRISTMAS.
[LAUGHS]
YOU BET.

[LAUGHS]
YOU BET.
BUT, UH, THIS IS THE ONE I

YOU BET.
BUT, UH, THIS IS THE ONE I
PREFER.

BUT, UH, THIS IS THE ONE I
PREFER.
THIS IS THE CLASSIC SPRUCE TREE,

PREFER.
THIS IS THE CLASSIC SPRUCE TREE,
OF COURSE.

THIS IS THE CLASSIC SPRUCE TREE,
OF COURSE.
LOOK AT THAT TREE... BEAUTIFUL.

OF COURSE.
LOOK AT THAT TREE... BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S A CLASSIC.

LOOK AT THAT TREE... BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S A CLASSIC.
UH, IT'S A CLASSIC.

IT'S A CLASSIC.
UH, IT'S A CLASSIC.
IT'S BIG. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

UH, IT'S A CLASSIC.
IT'S BIG. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
UH, IT'S SAFE, AND IT'S GREEN...

IT'S BIG. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
UH, IT'S SAFE, AND IT'S GREEN...
THAT'S REALLY WHAT'S IMPORTANT.

UH, IT'S SAFE, AND IT'S GREEN...
THAT'S REALLY WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
UH, HOW MUCH IS THAT ONE?

THAT'S REALLY WHAT'S IMPORTANT.
UH, HOW MUCH IS THAT ONE?
UH, WELL, I CAN GIVE IT TO

UH, HOW MUCH IS THAT ONE?
UH, WELL, I CAN GIVE IT TO
YOU FOR, LIKE, A BUCK AND A HALF

UH, WELL, I CAN GIVE IT TO
YOU FOR, LIKE, A BUCK AND A HALF
A FOOT OR SOMETHING.

YOU FOR, LIKE, A BUCK AND A HALF
A FOOT OR SOMETHING.
LET ME SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.

A FOOT OR SOMETHING.
LET ME SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.
I'M ABOUT 6 FEET EVEN, AND

LET ME SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.
I'M ABOUT 6 FEET EVEN, AND
THAT IS ABOUT 7 1/2 FEET, YOU

I'M ABOUT 6 FEET EVEN, AND
THAT IS ABOUT 7 1/2 FEET, YOU
KNOW?

THAT IS ABOUT 7 1/2 FEET, YOU
KNOW?
SO YOU FIGURE A BUCK AND A HALF

KNOW?
SO YOU FIGURE A BUCK AND A HALF
TIMES SEVEN... CARRY THE THREE,

SO YOU FIGURE A BUCK AND A HALF
TIMES SEVEN... CARRY THE THREE,
UH, WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S

TIMES SEVEN... CARRY THE THREE,
UH, WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S
CHRISTMAS, WHAT THE HECK?

UH, WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S
CHRISTMAS, WHAT THE HECK?
YOU GOT A 10 SPOT ON YOU?

CHRISTMAS, WHAT THE HECK?
YOU GOT A 10 SPOT ON YOU?
OH, CERTAINLY.

YOU GOT A 10 SPOT ON YOU?
OH, CERTAINLY.
THAT WOULD BE SWEET.

OH, CERTAINLY.
THAT WOULD BE SWEET.
TECHNICALLY, I'M NOT SUPPOSED

THAT WOULD BE SWEET.
TECHNICALLY, I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO ACCEPT THIS, YOU KNOW, WITH

TECHNICALLY, I'M NOT SUPPOSED
TO ACCEPT THIS, YOU KNOW, WITH
THE BOSS NOT HERE, BUT IT'S

TO ACCEPT THIS, YOU KNOW, WITH
THE BOSS NOT HERE, BUT IT'S
SNOWING SO BAD, I'VE GOT TO AND

THE BOSS NOT HERE, BUT IT'S
SNOWING SO BAD, I'VE GOT TO AND
SO FORTH.

SNOWING SO BAD, I'VE GOT TO AND
SO FORTH.
HE'S A NICE MAN, MOMMY.

SO FORTH.
HE'S A NICE MAN, MOMMY.
WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HIM?

HE'S A NICE MAN, MOMMY.
WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HIM?
[LAUGHS]

WHY DON'T YOU MARRY HIM?
[LAUGHS]
WELL, THAT'S A GOOD ONE, LITTLE

[LAUGHS]
WELL, THAT'S A GOOD ONE, LITTLE
GIRL.

WELL, THAT'S A GOOD ONE, LITTLE
GIRL.
YOU'RE SHARP BECAUSE ANY GUY IN

GIRL.
YOU'RE SHARP BECAUSE ANY GUY IN
HIS RIGHT MIND WOULD BE

YOU'RE SHARP BECAUSE ANY GUY IN
HIS RIGHT MIND WOULD BE
ATTRACTED TO AN ATTRACTIVE BROAD

HIS RIGHT MIND WOULD BE
ATTRACTED TO AN ATTRACTIVE BROAD
LIKE YOUR MOM, BUT I THINK WE'D

ATTRACTED TO AN ATTRACTIVE BROAD
LIKE YOUR MOM, BUT I THINK WE'D
PROBABLY HAVE TO DATE FOR A

LIKE YOUR MOM, BUT I THINK WE'D
PROBABLY HAVE TO DATE FOR A
WHILE, DON'T YOU, MOM?

PROBABLY HAVE TO DATE FOR A
WHILE, DON'T YOU, MOM?
UH, YES.

WHILE, DON'T YOU, MOM?
UH, YES.
LISTEN, YOU'VE BEEN VERY, VERY

UH, YES.
LISTEN, YOU'VE BEEN VERY, VERY
SWEET.

LISTEN, YOU'VE BEEN VERY, VERY
SWEET.
AND I WONDER IF YOU COULD HELP

SWEET.
AND I WONDER IF YOU COULD HELP
US AND CARRY IT TO OUR CAR AND

AND I WONDER IF YOU COULD HELP
US AND CARRY IT TO OUR CAR AND
TIE IT ON THE ROOF.

US AND CARRY IT TO OUR CAR AND
TIE IT ON THE ROOF.
WELL, I, UH, DO NOT HAVE ANY

TIE IT ON THE ROOF.
WELL, I, UH, DO NOT HAVE ANY
TWINE.

WELL, I, UH, DO NOT HAVE ANY
TWINE.
UH... TELL ME, HOW FAR AWAY DO

TWINE.
UH... TELL ME, HOW FAR AWAY DO
YOU LIVE?

UH... TELL ME, HOW FAR AWAY DO
YOU LIVE?
OVER THERE.

YOU LIVE?
OVER THERE.
10 BLOCKS.

OVER THERE.
10 BLOCKS.
UH-HUH.

10 BLOCKS.
UH-HUH.
WELL, UH, OKAY.

UH-HUH.
WELL, UH, OKAY.
I'LL JUST GET UP ON THE TOP WITH

WELL, UH, OKAY.
I'LL JUST GET UP ON THE TOP WITH
THE DAMN THING AND HANG ON, YOU

I'LL JUST GET UP ON THE TOP WITH
THE DAMN THING AND HANG ON, YOU
KNOW?

THE DAMN THING AND HANG ON, YOU
KNOW?
GIVE A SHOUT YOU SEE A POTHOLE

KNOW?
GIVE A SHOUT YOU SEE A POTHOLE
OR SOMETHING BECAUSE I HAVE TO

GIVE A SHOUT YOU SEE A POTHOLE
OR SOMETHING BECAUSE I HAVE TO
GO TO A CHRISTMAS DINNER MYSELF

OR SOMETHING BECAUSE I HAVE TO
GO TO A CHRISTMAS DINNER MYSELF
TONIGHT OVER AT THE

GO TO A CHRISTMAS DINNER MYSELF
TONIGHT OVER AT THE
HARE KRISHNA TEMPLE.

TONIGHT OVER AT THE
HARE KRISHNA TEMPLE.
THEY'RE HAVING SOME OF US OVER,

HARE KRISHNA TEMPLE.
THEY'RE HAVING SOME OF US OVER,
UH, REGULAR THING.

THEY'RE HAVING SOME OF US OVER,
UH, REGULAR THING.
IT'S THAT HEALTH FOOD CRAP

UH, REGULAR THING.
IT'S THAT HEALTH FOOD CRAP
AGAIN, YOU KNOW, BUT, WHEN IN

IT'S THAT HEALTH FOOD CRAP
AGAIN, YOU KNOW, BUT, WHEN IN
ROME, YOU DO AS THE ROMANS DO.

YEAH, WELL, THIS IS A GAS.
AND I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU,
AND ESPECIALLY THESE PEOPLE

AND I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU,
AND ESPECIALLY THESE PEOPLE
HERE, YOU KNOW?

AND ESPECIALLY THESE PEOPLE
HERE, YOU KNOW?
I BEGIN TO WORRY WHAT HAPPENS

HERE, YOU KNOW?
I BEGIN TO WORRY WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN THE

I BEGIN TO WORRY WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN THE
NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS

WHEN THE
NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS
ARE READY.

NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS
ARE READY.
THEY'VE BEEN READY FOR A LONG

ARE READY.
THEY'VE BEEN READY FOR A LONG
TIME.

THEY'VE BEEN READY FOR A LONG
TIME.
THESE ARE THE MOST TALENTED

TIME.
THESE ARE THE MOST TALENTED
PEOPLE I'VE MET.

THESE ARE THE MOST TALENTED
PEOPLE I'VE MET.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

PEOPLE I'VE MET.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YEAH!
YEAH!

YEAH!
YEAH!
ELLIOT!

[BAND PLAYS]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Announcer: NEXT WEEK, A

"SATURDAY NIGHT" ENCORE

PRESENTATION WITH HOST

MISKEL SPILLMAN AND MUSICAL

GUEST ELVIS COSTELLO.

THIS IS DON PARDO.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF YOU

FROM ALL OF ME.

GOOD NIGHT.