Saturday Night Live (1975–…): Season 4, Episode 14 - Gary Busey/Eubie Blake and Gregory Hines - full transcript

ALL RIGHT, YOUR DRESSING ROOM
IS RIGHT OVER HERE.
GOOD LUCK TONIGHT, GARY.

IS RIGHT OVER HERE.
GOOD LUCK TONIGHT, GARY.
THANKS, LARAINE.

GOOD LUCK TONIGHT, GARY.
THANKS, LARAINE.
YOU KNOW, I CAME ABOUT THIS FAR

THANKS, LARAINE.
YOU KNOW, I CAME ABOUT THIS FAR
FROM KNOCKING JOHN BELUSHI'S

YOU KNOW, I CAME ABOUT THIS FAR
FROM KNOCKING JOHN BELUSHI'S
TEETH RIGHT DOWN HIS THROAT A

FROM KNOCKING JOHN BELUSHI'S
TEETH RIGHT DOWN HIS THROAT A
MINUTE AGO.

TEETH RIGHT DOWN HIS THROAT A
MINUTE AGO.
HE HADN'T TALKED TO ME ALL WEEK.

MINUTE AGO.
HE HADN'T TALKED TO ME ALL WEEK.
I'VE BEEN HERE A WEEK WORKING

HE HADN'T TALKED TO ME ALL WEEK.
I'VE BEEN HERE A WEEK WORKING
WITH YOU GUYS, AND HE'S THE ONLY

I'VE BEEN HERE A WEEK WORKING
WITH YOU GUYS, AND HE'S THE ONLY
CAT THAT HADN'T TALKED TO ME.

WITH YOU GUYS, AND HE'S THE ONLY
CAT THAT HADN'T TALKED TO ME.
WELL, WHY SHOULD THAT BOTHER



CAT THAT HADN'T TALKED TO ME.
WELL, WHY SHOULD THAT BOTHER
YOU?

WELL, WHY SHOULD THAT BOTHER
YOU?
I'D GIVE ANYTHING IF BELUSHI

YOU?
I'D GIVE ANYTHING IF BELUSHI
DIDN'T TALK TO ME.

I'D GIVE ANYTHING IF BELUSHI
DIDN'T TALK TO ME.
WELL, HE'S ACTING LIKE HE...

DIDN'T TALK TO ME.
WELL, HE'S ACTING LIKE HE...
HE DOESN'T KNOW ME, YOU KNOW?

WELL, HE'S ACTING LIKE HE...
HE DOESN'T KNOW ME, YOU KNOW?
AND HE'S ACTING LIKE HE DOESN'T

HE DOESN'T KNOW ME, YOU KNOW?
AND HE'S ACTING LIKE HE DOESN'T
LIKE ME, AND WE HADN'T EVEN MET

AND HE'S ACTING LIKE HE DOESN'T
LIKE ME, AND WE HADN'T EVEN MET
BEFORE.

LIKE ME, AND WE HADN'T EVEN MET
BEFORE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, GARY, LOOK...

BEFORE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, GARY, LOOK...
IT'S NOT YOU...

ALL RIGHT, NOW, GARY, LOOK...
IT'S NOT YOU...
LOOK AT ME. I'M SHAKING.

IT'S NOT YOU...
LOOK AT ME. I'M SHAKING.
OH, IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.

LOOK AT ME. I'M SHAKING.
OH, IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S WHAT YOU STAND FOR, YOU

OH, IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S WHAT YOU STAND FOR, YOU
KNOW?



IT'S WHAT YOU STAND FOR, YOU
KNOW?
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN,

KNOW?
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN,
YOU KNOW?

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN,
YOU KNOW?
IT'S THE OSCARS.

YOU KNOW?
IT'S THE OSCARS.
IT'S DRIVING HIM NUTS THAT YOU

IT'S THE OSCARS.
IT'S DRIVING HIM NUTS THAT YOU
WERE NOMINATED AND HE WASN'T.

IT'S DRIVING HIM NUTS THAT YOU
WERE NOMINATED AND HE WASN'T.
[GROANS]

WERE NOMINATED AND HE WASN'T.
[GROANS]
WELL, THAT'S CRAZY.

[GROANS]
WELL, THAT'S CRAZY.
I'M NOT EVEN A MEMBER OF THE

WELL, THAT'S CRAZY.
I'M NOT EVEN A MEMBER OF THE
ACADEMY.

I'M NOT EVEN A MEMBER OF THE
ACADEMY.
I DON'T EVEN VOTE!

ACADEMY.
I DON'T EVEN VOTE!
[CHUCKLES]

I DON'T EVEN VOTE!
[CHUCKLES]
JOHN'S MIND DOESN'T WORK THAT

[CHUCKLES]
JOHN'S MIND DOESN'T WORK THAT
WAY.

JOHN'S MIND DOESN'T WORK THAT
WAY.
ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT

WAY.
ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT
"THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY," WHICH I

ALL HE KNOWS IS THAT
"THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY," WHICH I
UNDERSTAND WAS A VERY GOOD

"THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY," WHICH I
UNDERSTAND WAS A VERY GOOD
MOVIE, WAS SEEN BY PRACTICALLY

UNDERSTAND WAS A VERY GOOD
MOVIE, WAS SEEN BY PRACTICALLY
NOBODY, AND "ANIMAL HOUSE,"

MOVIE, WAS SEEN BY PRACTICALLY
NOBODY, AND "ANIMAL HOUSE,"
WHICH I ALSO UNDERSTAND WAS

NOBODY, AND "ANIMAL HOUSE,"
WHICH I ALSO UNDERSTAND WAS
GOOD, WAS SEEN BY PRACTICALLY

WHICH I ALSO UNDERSTAND WAS
GOOD, WAS SEEN BY PRACTICALLY
EVERYBODY.

GOOD, WAS SEEN BY PRACTICALLY
EVERYBODY.
BUT IT'S YOU WHO GOT THE

EVERYBODY.
BUT IT'S YOU WHO GOT THE
NOMINATION FOR BEST ACTOR.

BUT IT'S YOU WHO GOT THE
NOMINATION FOR BEST ACTOR.
THERE'S FOUR OTHER ACTORS

NOMINATION FOR BEST ACTOR.
THERE'S FOUR OTHER ACTORS
THAT GOT NOMINATIONS.

THERE'S FOUR OTHER ACTORS
THAT GOT NOMINATIONS.
NOW, IS HE MAD AT THEM, TOO?

THAT GOT NOMINATIONS.
NOW, IS HE MAD AT THEM, TOO?
IS THAT MESSING HIM UP OR WHAT?

NOW, IS HE MAD AT THEM, TOO?
IS THAT MESSING HIM UP OR WHAT?
NO, BECAUSE JOHN FIGURES THAT

IS THAT MESSING HIM UP OR WHAT?
NO, BECAUSE JOHN FIGURES THAT
YOU GOT HIS NOMINATION.

NO, BECAUSE JOHN FIGURES THAT
YOU GOT HIS NOMINATION.
ACCORDING TO BELUSHI, YOU GOT...

YOU GOT HIS NOMINATION.
ACCORDING TO BELUSHI, YOU GOT...
WHAT?!

ACCORDING TO BELUSHI, YOU GOT...
WHAT?!
LOOK, NOW, YOU GOT TO

WHAT?!
LOOK, NOW, YOU GOT TO
NOMINATE OLIVIER BECAUSE HE'S

LOOK, NOW, YOU GOT TO
NOMINATE OLIVIER BECAUSE HE'S
OLD, AND THEY DON'T WANT ANOTHER

NOMINATE OLIVIER BECAUSE HE'S
OLD, AND THEY DON'T WANT ANOTHER
PETER FINCH ON THEIR HANDS.

OLD, AND THEY DON'T WANT ANOTHER
PETER FINCH ON THEIR HANDS.
[GROANS]

PETER FINCH ON THEIR HANDS.
[GROANS]
I KNOW.

[GROANS]
I KNOW.
I THOUGHT OF THAT, TOO, BUT

I KNOW.
I THOUGHT OF THAT, TOO, BUT
THAT...

I THOUGHT OF THAT, TOO, BUT
THAT...
YEAH, AND JON VOIGHT AND

THAT...
YEAH, AND JON VOIGHT AND
ROBERT DE NIRO HAVE BEEN DOING

YEAH, AND JON VOIGHT AND
ROBERT DE NIRO HAVE BEEN DOING
GOOD WORK FOR A WHILE, AND JOHN

ROBERT DE NIRO HAVE BEEN DOING
GOOD WORK FOR A WHILE, AND JOHN
ACCEPTS THE FACT THAT THE

GOOD WORK FOR A WHILE, AND JOHN
ACCEPTS THE FACT THAT THE
ACADEMY HAS FINALLY GOTTEN

ACCEPTS THE FACT THAT THE
ACADEMY HAS FINALLY GOTTEN
AROUND TO RECOGNIZING THEM.

ACADEMY HAS FINALLY GOTTEN
AROUND TO RECOGNIZING THEM.
WELL, WARREN BEATTY GOT

AROUND TO RECOGNIZING THEM.
WELL, WARREN BEATTY GOT
NOMINATED, TOO.

WELL, WARREN BEATTY GOT
NOMINATED, TOO.
HOW DOES HE FEEL ABOUT HIM?

NOMINATED, TOO.
HOW DOES HE FEEL ABOUT HIM?
JOHN FIGURES THAT

HOW DOES HE FEEL ABOUT HIM?
JOHN FIGURES THAT
WARREN BEATTY SLEPT WITH THE

JOHN FIGURES THAT
WARREN BEATTY SLEPT WITH THE
NOMINATING COMMITTEE.

WARREN BEATTY SLEPT WITH THE
NOMINATING COMMITTEE.
THERE'S 3,500 PEOPLE IN THE

NOMINATING COMMITTEE.
THERE'S 3,500 PEOPLE IN THE
ACADEMY.

THERE'S 3,500 PEOPLE IN THE
ACADEMY.
GARY, THIS IS BELUSHI WE'RE

ACADEMY.
GARY, THIS IS BELUSHI WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT.

GARY, THIS IS BELUSHI WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT.
THIS IS HIS THEORY.

TALKING ABOUT.
THIS IS HIS THEORY.
OKAY, LET ME GET SERIOUS.

THIS IS HIS THEORY.
OKAY, LET ME GET SERIOUS.
WE'RE GONNA GO ON THE AIR HERE

OKAY, LET ME GET SERIOUS.
WE'RE GONNA GO ON THE AIR HERE
IN A FEW MINUTES.

WE'RE GONNA GO ON THE AIR HERE
IN A FEW MINUTES.
I GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS.

IN A FEW MINUTES.
I GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS.
HOW AM I GONNA STOP ALL THIS?

I GOT TO GET OUT OF THIS.
HOW AM I GONNA STOP ALL THIS?
HOW AM I GONNA GET HIM TO, UH...

HOW AM I GONNA STOP ALL THIS?
HOW AM I GONNA GET HIM TO, UH...
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY...

HOW AM I GONNA GET HIM TO, UH...
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY...
WELL, WHAT... WHY DOES HE

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY...
WELL, WHAT... WHY DOES HE
THINK I PREVENTED HIS

WELL, WHAT... WHY DOES HE
THINK I PREVENTED HIS
NOMINATION?

THINK I PREVENTED HIS
NOMINATION?
WELL, THE WAY HE LOOKS AT IT,

NOMINATION?
WELL, THE WAY HE LOOKS AT IT,
YOU'RE BOTH YOUNG, ELECTRIFYING,

WELL, THE WAY HE LOOKS AT IT,
YOU'RE BOTH YOUNG, ELECTRIFYING,
NOT VERY GOOD-LOOKING ACTORS WHO

YOU'RE BOTH YOUNG, ELECTRIFYING,
NOT VERY GOOD-LOOKING ACTORS WHO
SPEAK FOR THE ROCK GENERATION.

NOT VERY GOOD-LOOKING ACTORS WHO
SPEAK FOR THE ROCK GENERATION.
SO THE ACADEMY COULD ONLY PICK

SPEAK FOR THE ROCK GENERATION.
SO THE ACADEMY COULD ONLY PICK
ONE OF YOU, AND JOHN FEELS AS

SO THE ACADEMY COULD ONLY PICK
ONE OF YOU, AND JOHN FEELS AS
THOUGH YOU STOLE HIS NOMINATION.

ONE OF YOU, AND JOHN FEELS AS
THOUGH YOU STOLE HIS NOMINATION.
STOLE HIS NOMINATION?

THOUGH YOU STOLE HIS NOMINATION.
STOLE HIS NOMINATION?
UH-HUH.

STOLE HIS NOMINATION?
UH-HUH.
[SIGHS]

UH-HUH.
[SIGHS]
LOOK, I GOT TO WORK WITH THE

[SIGHS]
LOOK, I GOT TO WORK WITH THE
GUY.

LOOK, I GOT TO WORK WITH THE
GUY.
WHAT CAN I DO?

GUY.
WHAT CAN I DO?
WHAT CAN I DO TO GET OVER THIS?

WHAT CAN I DO?
WHAT CAN I DO TO GET OVER THIS?
WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.

WHAT CAN I DO TO GET OVER THIS?
WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
I KNOW. I KNOW.

WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
I THINK THAT, KNOWING JOHN, WHAT

I KNOW. I KNOW.
I THINK THAT, KNOWING JOHN, WHAT
WOULD REALLY HELP IS... WHEN YOU

I THINK THAT, KNOWING JOHN, WHAT
WOULD REALLY HELP IS... WHEN YOU
SEE HIM, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS

WOULD REALLY HELP IS... WHEN YOU
SEE HIM, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
SAY, "JOHN, I WOULD TRADE

SEE HIM, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
SAY, "JOHN, I WOULD TRADE
EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE WITH

SAY, "JOHN, I WOULD TRADE
EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE WITH
MY OWN WRETCHED LIFE FOR ONE

EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE WITH
MY OWN WRETCHED LIFE FOR ONE
VIDEOTAPE CASSETTE OF

MY OWN WRETCHED LIFE FOR ONE
VIDEOTAPE CASSETTE OF
"SAMURAI NIGHT FEVER."

VIDEOTAPE CASSETTE OF
"SAMURAI NIGHT FEVER."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

"SAMURAI NIGHT FEVER."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
UNH-UNH.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
UNH-UNH.
LISTEN, HE'S PROBABLY IN HIS

UNH-UNH.
LISTEN, HE'S PROBABLY IN HIS
DRESSING ROOM.

LISTEN, HE'S PROBABLY IN HIS
DRESSING ROOM.
WHY DON'T YOU GO TRY IT?

DRESSING ROOM.
WHY DON'T YOU GO TRY IT?
TALK TO HIM BEFORE THE SHOW.

WHY DON'T YOU GO TRY IT?
TALK TO HIM BEFORE THE SHOW.
GOD.

TALK TO HIM BEFORE THE SHOW.
GOD.
BOY.

GOD.
BOY.
DO YOU THINK IT'LL HELP?

BOY.
DO YOU THINK IT'LL HELP?
I THINK IT'LL HELP, YEAH.

DO YOU THINK IT'LL HELP?
I THINK IT'LL HELP, YEAH.
WHERE IS HE... RIGHT AROUND

I THINK IT'LL HELP, YEAH.
WHERE IS HE... RIGHT AROUND
THE CORNER?

WHERE IS HE... RIGHT AROUND
THE CORNER?
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.

THE CORNER?
RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
GOOD LUCK.

RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
GOOD LUCK.
THANK YOU.

GOOD LUCK.
THANK YOU.
[CHUCKLES]

THANK YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
YEAH, IT WAS A FLUKE, JOHN.

[CHUCKLES]
YEAH, IT WAS A FLUKE, JOHN.
BUSEY CAN'T TIE YOUR SHOES.

YEAH, IT WAS A FLUKE, JOHN.
BUSEY CAN'T TIE YOUR SHOES.
JOHN, YOU CAN'T LET IT GET TO

BUSEY CAN'T TIE YOUR SHOES.
JOHN, YOU CAN'T LET IT GET TO
YOU.

JOHN, YOU CAN'T LET IT GET TO
YOU.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME GOUDA?

YOU.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME GOUDA?
NO, NO, NO.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME GOUDA?
NO, NO, NO.
DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT

NO, NO, NO.
DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT
OSCARS?

DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT
OSCARS?
HEY, THOSE PEOPLE AREN'T MY

OSCARS?
HEY, THOSE PEOPLE AREN'T MY
PEERS.

HEY, THOSE PEOPLE AREN'T MY
PEERS.
ABSOLUTELY, JOHN.

PEERS.
ABSOLUTELY, JOHN.
IT'S ALL STUDIO HYPE, JUST LIKE

ABSOLUTELY, JOHN.
IT'S ALL STUDIO HYPE, JUST LIKE
THE HEISMAN TROPHY.

IT'S ALL STUDIO HYPE, JUST LIKE
THE HEISMAN TROPHY.
LOOK, I WOULDN'T HAVE

THE HEISMAN TROPHY.
LOOK, I WOULDN'T HAVE
ACCEPTED IT ANYWAY, YOU KNOW?

LOOK, I WOULDN'T HAVE
ACCEPTED IT ANYWAY, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN... I MEAN, IT'S

ACCEPTED IT ANYWAY, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN... I MEAN, IT'S
EMBARRASSING.

I MEAN... I MEAN, IT'S
EMBARRASSING.
IT'S GARISH.

EMBARRASSING.
IT'S GARISH.
I MEAN, DUSTIN HOFFMAN NEVER

IT'S GARISH.
I MEAN, DUSTIN HOFFMAN NEVER
SHOWS UP, DOES HE?

I MEAN, DUSTIN HOFFMAN NEVER
SHOWS UP, DOES HE?
EXACTLY.

SHOWS UP, DOES HE?
EXACTLY.
EXACTLY. REALLY.

EXACTLY.
EXACTLY. REALLY.
JOHN BELUSHI. GARY BUSEY.

EXACTLY. REALLY.
JOHN BELUSHI. GARY BUSEY.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE'VE TALKED TO

JOHN BELUSHI. GARY BUSEY.
I DON'T KNOW IF WE'VE TALKED TO
EACH OTHER YET.

I DON'T KNOW IF WE'VE TALKED TO
EACH OTHER YET.
COULD I TALK TO YOU FOR A FEW

EACH OTHER YET.
COULD I TALK TO YOU FOR A FEW
MINUTES?

COULD I TALK TO YOU FOR A FEW
MINUTES?
YEAH, SURE.

MINUTES?
YEAH, SURE.
OUT. OUT. OUT.

YEAH, SURE.
OUT. OUT. OUT.
SURE, SURE, SURE.

OUT. OUT. OUT.
SURE, SURE, SURE.
OUT, OUT!

SURE, SURE, SURE.
OUT, OUT!
THANK YOU, GUYS.

OUT, OUT!
THANK YOU, GUYS.
BYE.

THANK YOU, GUYS.
BYE.
NOW, I JUST WANTED YOU TO

BYE.
NOW, I JUST WANTED YOU TO
KNOW I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU A

NOW, I JUST WANTED YOU TO
KNOW I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU A
LONG TIME, AND I'D GIVE PROBABLY

KNOW I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU A
LONG TIME, AND I'D GIVE PROBABLY
MY RIGHT ARM AND EVERYTHING I

LONG TIME, AND I'D GIVE PROBABLY
MY RIGHT ARM AND EVERYTHING I
HAVE IN MY WRETCHED LIFE FOR A

MY RIGHT ARM AND EVERYTHING I
HAVE IN MY WRETCHED LIFE FOR A
CASSETTE COPY OF

HAVE IN MY WRETCHED LIFE FOR A
CASSETTE COPY OF
"SAMURAI NIGHT FEVER."

CASSETTE COPY OF
"SAMURAI NIGHT FEVER."
OH, YEAH?

"SAMURAI NIGHT FEVER."
OH, YEAH?
YEAH.

OH, YEAH?
YEAH.
WELL, BUSEY, YOU'RE NOT SUCH

YEAH.
WELL, BUSEY, YOU'RE NOT SUCH
A BAD GUY AFTER ALL.

WELL, BUSEY, YOU'RE NOT SUCH
A BAD GUY AFTER ALL.
YOU MEAN THAT?

A BAD GUY AFTER ALL.
YOU MEAN THAT?
YEAH.

YOU MEAN THAT?
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST THAT, YOU

YEAH.
YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST THAT, YOU
KNOW... WHAT I'M MAD ABOUT IS

YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST THAT, YOU
KNOW... WHAT I'M MAD ABOUT IS
THAT, YOU KNOW... IS THAT WE GOT

KNOW... WHAT I'M MAD ABOUT IS
THAT, YOU KNOW... IS THAT WE GOT
ANOTHER LAME-O HOLLYWOOD ACTOR

THAT, YOU KNOW... IS THAT WE GOT
ANOTHER LAME-O HOLLYWOOD ACTOR
HERE HOSTING THE SHOW, YOU KNOW?

ANOTHER LAME-O HOLLYWOOD ACTOR
HERE HOSTING THE SHOW, YOU KNOW?
WELL, WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO

HERE HOSTING THE SHOW, YOU KNOW?
WELL, WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO
MEAN?

WELL, WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO
MEAN?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "LAME-O

MEAN?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "LAME-O
HOLLYWOOD ACTOR"?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "LAME-O
HOLLYWOOD ACTOR"?
YOU HOLLYWOOD TYPES... COME

HOLLYWOOD ACTOR"?
YOU HOLLYWOOD TYPES... COME
ON, YOU KNOW?

YOU HOLLYWOOD TYPES... COME
ON, YOU KNOW?
YOU THINK YOU'RE GOD OR

ON, YOU KNOW?
YOU THINK YOU'RE GOD OR
SOMETHING.

YOU THINK YOU'RE GOD OR
SOMETHING.
YOU COME IN HERE, YOU KNOW?

SOMETHING.
YOU COME IN HERE, YOU KNOW?
BUT WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN, YOU

YOU COME IN HERE, YOU KNOW?
BUT WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN, YOU
KNOW, WE'RE ON THE AIR, AND WE

BUT WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN, YOU
KNOW, WE'RE ON THE AIR, AND WE
BAIL YOU OUT.

KNOW, WE'RE ON THE AIR, AND WE
BAIL YOU OUT.
TV ACTORS, YOU KNOW, SAVE YOU

BAIL YOU OUT.
TV ACTORS, YOU KNOW, SAVE YOU
FROM LOOKING STUPID.

TV ACTORS, YOU KNOW, SAVE YOU
FROM LOOKING STUPID.
HEY, I KNOW...

FROM LOOKING STUPID.
HEY, I KNOW...
DREYFUSS WAS ON THE SHOW LAST

HEY, I KNOW...
DREYFUSS WAS ON THE SHOW LAST
YEAR.

DREYFUSS WAS ON THE SHOW LAST
YEAR.
I SAVED HIS LIFE!

YEAR.
I SAVED HIS LIFE!
I KNOW. THIS IS LIVE TV.

I SAVED HIS LIFE!
I KNOW. THIS IS LIVE TV.
HE WON THE OSCAR.

I KNOW. THIS IS LIVE TV.
HE WON THE OSCAR.
I KNOW HE DID, AND I KNOW

HE WON THE OSCAR.
I KNOW HE DID, AND I KNOW
IT'S LIVE TV, YOU KNOW?

I KNOW HE DID, AND I KNOW
IT'S LIVE TV, YOU KNOW?
AND I'M THINKING ABOUT IT.

IT'S LIVE TV, YOU KNOW?
AND I'M THINKING ABOUT IT.
BUT I THINK YOU'RE BEING UNFAIR,

AND I'M THINKING ABOUT IT.
BUT I THINK YOU'RE BEING UNFAIR,
YOU KNOW?

BUT I THINK YOU'RE BEING UNFAIR,
YOU KNOW?
I'M A PROFESSIONAL PER... I'M NOT

YOU KNOW?
I'M A PROFESSIONAL PER... I'M NOT
GONNA EMBARRASS YOU.

I'M A PROFESSIONAL PER... I'M NOT
GONNA EMBARRASS YOU.
ALL RIGHT, SURE, YOU'RE A

GONNA EMBARRASS YOU.
ALL RIGHT, SURE, YOU'RE A
PRO, OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, SURE, YOU'RE A
PRO, OKAY.
YOU'RE A PRO.

PRO, OKAY.
YOU'RE A PRO.
BUT NOBODY KNOWS WHO THE HELL

YOU'RE A PRO.
BUT NOBODY KNOWS WHO THE HELL
YOU ARE.

BUT NOBODY KNOWS WHO THE HELL
YOU ARE.
CAN I HAVE A DRINK?

YOU ARE.
CAN I HAVE A DRINK?
OH, YEAH.

CAN I HAVE A DRINK?
OH, YEAH.
THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHO YOU

OH, YEAH.
THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHO YOU
ARE.

THEY JUST DON'T KNOW WHO YOU
ARE.
ALL THEY KNOW IS THAT... THAT

ARE.
ALL THEY KNOW IS THAT... THAT
YOU DID

ALL THEY KNOW IS THAT... THAT
YOU DID
"THE BUDDY HACKETT STORY."

YOU DID
"THE BUDDY HACKETT STORY."
"THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY."

"THE BUDDY HACKETT STORY."
"THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY."
I MEAN, HOW MANY PEOPLE SAW

"THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY."
I MEAN, HOW MANY PEOPLE SAW
THAT?

I MEAN, HOW MANY PEOPLE SAW
THAT?
A MILLION?

THAT?
A MILLION?
HOW MANY?

A MILLION?
HOW MANY?
I DON'T KNOW.

HOW MANY?
I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS... LAST TIME I HEARD,

I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS... LAST TIME I HEARD,
THEY SAID 900,000 OR SOMETHING.

I GUESS... LAST TIME I HEARD,
THEY SAID 900,000 OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW.

THEY SAID 900,000 OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW.
GREAT.

I DON'T KNOW.
GREAT.
DO YOU REALIZE THAT TONIGHT

GREAT.
DO YOU REALIZE THAT TONIGHT
YOU'LL BE SEEN BY OVER 65

DO YOU REALIZE THAT TONIGHT
YOU'LL BE SEEN BY OVER 65
MILLION PEOPLE... 65 MILLION

YOU'LL BE SEEN BY OVER 65
MILLION PEOPLE... 65 MILLION
PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW YOU FROM

MILLION PEOPLE... 65 MILLION
PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW YOU FROM
ADAM?

PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW YOU FROM
ADAM?
YOU KNOW THAT?

ADAM?
YOU KNOW THAT?
I KNOW IT.

YOU KNOW THAT?
I KNOW IT.
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT, AND

I KNOW IT.
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT, AND
IT SCARES ME A LITTLE BIT.

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT, AND
IT SCARES ME A LITTLE BIT.
THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO TALK TO

IT SCARES ME A LITTLE BIT.
THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO TALK TO
YOU.

THAT'S WHY I'M TRYING TO TALK TO
YOU.
YOU HAVEN'T TALKED TO ME ALL

YOU.
YOU HAVEN'T TALKED TO ME ALL
WEEK.

YOU HAVEN'T TALKED TO ME ALL
WEEK.
THAT SHOULD SCARE YOU.

WEEK.
THAT SHOULD SCARE YOU.
I'M BUSY.

THAT SHOULD SCARE YOU.
I'M BUSY.
I MEAN, THE... ALL RIGHT.

I'M BUSY.
I MEAN, THE... ALL RIGHT.
LET ME GIVE YOU A TIP.

I MEAN, THE... ALL RIGHT.
LET ME GIVE YOU A TIP.
OKAY, GOOD.

LET ME GIVE YOU A TIP.
OKAY, GOOD.
BE YOURSELF.

OKAY, GOOD.
BE YOURSELF.
YOU KNOW, IN THE MOVIES, YOU GET

BE YOURSELF.
YOU KNOW, IN THE MOVIES, YOU GET
TO HIDE BEHIND SOME KIND OF

YOU KNOW, IN THE MOVIES, YOU GET
TO HIDE BEHIND SOME KIND OF
CHARACTER YOU'RE PORTRAYING, YOU

TO HIDE BEHIND SOME KIND OF
CHARACTER YOU'RE PORTRAYING, YOU
KNOW.

CHARACTER YOU'RE PORTRAYING, YOU
KNOW.
BUT TONIGHT, YOU KNOW, LET THOSE

KNOW.
BUT TONIGHT, YOU KNOW, LET THOSE
PEOPLE OUT THERE KNOW WHO THE

BUT TONIGHT, YOU KNOW, LET THOSE
PEOPLE OUT THERE KNOW WHO THE
REAL JERRY BUSEY IS.

PEOPLE OUT THERE KNOW WHO THE
REAL JERRY BUSEY IS.
GARY.

REAL JERRY BUSEY IS.
GARY.
GARY BUSEY IS.

GARY.
GARY BUSEY IS.
LOOK, I PLAY CHARACTERS IN

GARY BUSEY IS.
LOOK, I PLAY CHARACTERS IN
ALL THE SKETCHES.

LOOK, I PLAY CHARACTERS IN
ALL THE SKETCHES.
I HIDE BEHIND CHARACTERS IN

ALL THE SKETCHES.
I HIDE BEHIND CHARACTERS IN
EVERY SKETCH WE'RE DOING.

I HIDE BEHIND CHARACTERS IN
EVERY SKETCH WE'RE DOING.
YEAH.

EVERY SKETCH WE'RE DOING.
YEAH.
DRASTIC CHARACTERS.

YEAH.
DRASTIC CHARACTERS.
THE MONOLOGUE.

DRASTIC CHARACTERS.
THE MONOLOGUE.
DO... DO SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY

THE MONOLOGUE.
DO... DO SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY
YOU IN THE MONOLOGUE.

DO... DO SOMETHING THAT'S REALLY
YOU IN THE MONOLOGUE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU IN THE MONOLOGUE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I DON'T KNOW... I DON'T KNOW

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I DON'T KNOW... I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU... I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT

I DON'T KNOW... I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU... I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO.

WHAT YOU... I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, REALLY ME?

TO DO.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, REALLY ME?
WELL, THINK OF SOMETHING, YOU

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, REALLY ME?
WELL, THINK OF SOMETHING, YOU
KNOW?

WELL, THINK OF SOMETHING, YOU
KNOW?
AND MAKE IT GOOD.

KNOW?
AND MAKE IT GOOD.
MAKE IT GOOD 'CAUSE I'M NOT

AND MAKE IT GOOD.
MAKE IT GOOD 'CAUSE I'M NOT
GONNA GO OUT THERE AND BAIL YOU

MAKE IT GOOD 'CAUSE I'M NOT
GONNA GO OUT THERE AND BAIL YOU
OUT BY SAYING, "BUT N-O-O-O-O!"

GONNA GO OUT THERE AND BAIL YOU
OUT BY SAYING, "BUT N-O-O-O-O!"
BE ME, HUH?

OUT BY SAYING, "BUT N-O-O-O-O!"
BE ME, HUH?
JUST BE YOURSELF. THAT'S ALL.

BE ME, HUH?
JUST BE YOURSELF. THAT'S ALL.
JUST TRY TO COME UP WITH

JUST BE YOURSELF. THAT'S ALL.
JUST TRY TO COME UP WITH
SOMETHING.

JUST TRY TO COME UP WITH
SOMETHING.
[KNUCKLES CRACKING]

SOMETHING.
[KNUCKLES CRACKING]
YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

[KNUCKLES CRACKING]
YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, I'LL TRY TO COME UP

YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, I'LL TRY TO COME UP
WITH SOMETHING.

OKAY, I'LL TRY TO COME UP
WITH SOMETHING.
LET ME ASK YOU ONE THING,

WITH SOMETHING.
LET ME ASK YOU ONE THING,
THOUGH.

LET ME ASK YOU ONE THING,
THOUGH.
YOU KNOW, ALL YOUR SUCCESS AND

THOUGH.
YOU KNOW, ALL YOUR SUCCESS AND
EVERYTHING... WHY ARE YOU STILL

YOU KNOW, ALL YOUR SUCCESS AND
EVERYTHING... WHY ARE YOU STILL
DOING THIS TV SHOW?

EVERYTHING... WHY ARE YOU STILL
DOING THIS TV SHOW?
WHY AM I DOING THIS TV SHOW?

DOING THIS TV SHOW?
WHY AM I DOING THIS TV SHOW?
BECAUSE IT'S DIFFERENT.

WHY AM I DOING THIS TV SHOW?
BECAUSE IT'S DIFFERENT.
IT'S... IT'S... IT'S...

BECAUSE IT'S DIFFERENT.
IT'S... IT'S... IT'S...
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S

IT'S... IT'S... IT'S...
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!

LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!
[BAND PLAYS]

Announcer: IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."

WITH GARY BUSEY.

STARRING DAN AYKROYD...
JOHN BELUSHI...
JANE CURTIN...

JOHN BELUSHI...
JANE CURTIN...
GARRETT MORRIS...

JANE CURTIN...
GARRETT MORRIS...
BILL MURRAY...

GARRETT MORRIS...
BILL MURRAY...
LARAINE NEWMAN...

BILL MURRAY...
LARAINE NEWMAN...
AND GILDA RADNER.

WITH MUSICAL GUESTS EUBIE BLAKE
AND GREGORY HINES.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

AND GREGORY HINES.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
GARY BUSEY!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
GARY BUSEY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANKS! THANKS!
NO, IT'S... THAT'S ALL!
THAT'S GOOD! THANKS!

NO, IT'S... THAT'S ALL!
THAT'S GOOD! THANKS!
COME ON!

THAT'S GOOD! THANKS!
COME ON!
WE GOT A LOT TO DO TONIGHT!

COME ON!
WE GOT A LOT TO DO TONIGHT!
HOW DO YOU FEEL?

WE GOT A LOT TO DO TONIGHT!
HOW DO YOU FEEL?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HOW DO YOU FEEL?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WELL, IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WELL, IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE.
THEY HAD... THE WRITERS GOT ME A

WELL, IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE.
THEY HAD... THE WRITERS GOT ME A
MONOLOGUE GOING, BUT, UH...

THEY HAD... THE WRITERS GOT ME A
MONOLOGUE GOING, BUT, UH...
AND IT WAS FUNNY, BUT, UH...

MONOLOGUE GOING, BUT, UH...
AND IT WAS FUNNY, BUT, UH...
[LAUGHTER]

AND IT WAS FUNNY, BUT, UH...
[LAUGHTER]
I JUST TALKED TO JOHN, AND HE

[LAUGHTER]
I JUST TALKED TO JOHN, AND HE
TOLD ME, UH, ABOUT HIDING BEHIND

I JUST TALKED TO JOHN, AND HE
TOLD ME, UH, ABOUT HIDING BEHIND
CHARACTERS AND DOING SOMETHING

TOLD ME, UH, ABOUT HIDING BEHIND
CHARACTERS AND DOING SOMETHING
THAT WAS ME.

CHARACTERS AND DOING SOMETHING
THAT WAS ME.
I HAVEN'T PERFORMED LIKE THIS IN

THAT WAS ME.
I HAVEN'T PERFORMED LIKE THIS IN
FRONT OF PEOPLE IN A LONG EXCEPT

I HAVEN'T PERFORMED LIKE THIS IN
FRONT OF PEOPLE IN A LONG EXCEPT
WITH A GUITAR, SO, UH, IN A

FRONT OF PEOPLE IN A LONG EXCEPT
WITH A GUITAR, SO, UH, IN A
MOMENT OF DESPERATION, I'M GONNA

WITH A GUITAR, SO, UH, IN A
MOMENT OF DESPERATION, I'M GONNA
DO THE FIRST THING I'VE EVER

MOMENT OF DESPERATION, I'M GONNA
DO THE FIRST THING I'VE EVER
DONE... I EVER DID, RATHER... IN

DO THE FIRST THING I'VE EVER
DONE... I EVER DID, RATHER... IN
FRONT OF PEOPLE, AT MY CHURCH IN

DONE... I EVER DID, RATHER... IN
FRONT OF PEOPLE, AT MY CHURCH IN
TULSA.

FRONT OF PEOPLE, AT MY CHURCH IN
TULSA.
[VOCALIZING]

TULSA.
[VOCALIZING]
COME ON, MAN.

[VOCALIZING]
COME ON, MAN.
HERE. COME ON.

COME ON, MAN.
HERE. COME ON.
COME ON.

HERE. COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON.

COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON.

COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON.

COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON.

COME ON.
COME ON.
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]

COME ON.
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
THANK YOU, GUYS!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
THANK YOU, GUYS!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU, GUYS!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, GUYS!

ROSALYNN, HONEY...
HAVE YOU SEEN BEAUTIFUL YARMULKE
THAT MENACHEM GAVE ME LAST WEEK?

HAVE YOU SEEN BEAUTIFUL YARMULKE
THAT MENACHEM GAVE ME LAST WEEK?
YES, DARLING, IT'S RIGHT HERE

THAT MENACHEM GAVE ME LAST WEEK?
YES, DARLING, IT'S RIGHT HERE
WITH YOUR CLOTHES.

YES, DARLING, IT'S RIGHT HERE
WITH YOUR CLOTHES.
I HAD IT WASHED.

WITH YOUR CLOTHES.
I HAD IT WASHED.
OH, NO.

I HAD IT WASHED.
OH, NO.
IT SHRUNK, AND ALL THE

OH, NO.
IT SHRUNK, AND ALL THE
EMBROIDERY'S COMING OFF.

IT SHRUNK, AND ALL THE
EMBROIDERY'S COMING OFF.
WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT IF THEY

EMBROIDERY'S COMING OFF.
WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT IF THEY
SHRINK, THEY SHOULD HAVE A

WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT IF THEY
SHRINK, THEY SHOULD HAVE A
LITTLE TAG ON THEM SAYING HOW TO

SHRINK, THEY SHOULD HAVE A
LITTLE TAG ON THEM SAYING HOW TO
WASH THEM.

LITTLE TAG ON THEM SAYING HOW TO
WASH THEM.
WELL, I'LL JUST HAVE TO BRING

WASH THEM.
WELL, I'LL JUST HAVE TO BRING
ALONG A COUPLE OF EXTRA

WELL, I'LL JUST HAVE TO BRING
ALONG A COUPLE OF EXTRA
CAMP DAVID YARMULKES I HAVE LEFT

ALONG A COUPLE OF EXTRA
CAMP DAVID YARMULKES I HAVE LEFT
OVER.

CAMP DAVID YARMULKES I HAVE LEFT
OVER.
YOO-HOO! YOO-HOO!

OVER.
YOO-HOO! YOO-HOO!
AM I INTERRUPTING ANYTHING

YOO-HOO! YOO-HOO!
AM I INTERRUPTING ANYTHING
INTERESTING?

AM I INTERRUPTING ANYTHING
INTERESTING?
COME ON IN, MAMA.

INTERESTING?
COME ON IN, MAMA.
YEAH.

COME ON IN, MAMA.
YEAH.
HELLO, LILLIAN.

YEAH.
HELLO, LILLIAN.
OH, HELLO.

HELLO, LILLIAN.
OH, HELLO.
HELLO, DARLING.

OH, HELLO.
HELLO, DARLING.
OH!

HELLO, DARLING.
OH!
[CHUCKLES]

OH!
[CHUCKLES]
ROSALYNN, SWEETHEART, WOULD YOU

[CHUCKLES]
ROSALYNN, SWEETHEART, WOULD YOU
MIND PUTTING THE CHICKEN IN THE

ROSALYNN, SWEETHEART, WOULD YOU
MIND PUTTING THE CHICKEN IN THE
PLASTIC BAGS AND START SHAKING?

MIND PUTTING THE CHICKEN IN THE
PLASTIC BAGS AND START SHAKING?
UH, I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE.

PLASTIC BAGS AND START SHAKING?
UH, I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE.
OKAY, LILLIAN.

UH, I'LL BE DOWN IN A MINUTE.
OKAY, LILLIAN.
NOW, JIMMY, IT'S A LONG FLIGHT

OKAY, LILLIAN.
NOW, JIMMY, IT'S A LONG FLIGHT
TO THE MID EAST, AND YOU'LL BE

NOW, JIMMY, IT'S A LONG FLIGHT
TO THE MID EAST, AND YOU'LL BE
SITTING A LONG TIME.

TO THE MID EAST, AND YOU'LL BE
SITTING A LONG TIME.
THOSE SEATS ON AIR FORCE ONE

SITTING A LONG TIME.
THOSE SEATS ON AIR FORCE ONE
HAVE A TENDENCY TO WOBBLE.

THOSE SEATS ON AIR FORCE ONE
HAVE A TENDENCY TO WOBBLE.
WELL, I JUST WOULD LIKE YOU TO

HAVE A TENDENCY TO WOBBLE.
WELL, I JUST WOULD LIKE YOU TO
BE PREPARED, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I

WELL, I JUST WOULD LIKE YOU TO
BE PREPARED, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN.

BE PREPARED, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN.
ROSALYNN, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

MEAN.
ROSALYNN, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'M... DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

ROSALYNN, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'M... DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I'M PREPARED.

I'M... DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I'M PREPARED.
NOW, JIMMY, JIMMY, I'VE COME

I'M PREPARED.
NOW, JIMMY, JIMMY, I'VE COME
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR

NOW, JIMMY, JIMMY, I'VE COME
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR
BROTHER.

TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR
BROTHER.
OH, MAMA, LET'S NOT TALK

BROTHER.
OH, MAMA, LET'S NOT TALK
ABOUT BILLY NOW.

OH, MAMA, LET'S NOT TALK
ABOUT BILLY NOW.
OH, JIMMY, YOU GOT TO

ABOUT BILLY NOW.
OH, JIMMY, YOU GOT TO
REMEMBER THAT IT HASN'T BEEN

OH, JIMMY, YOU GOT TO
REMEMBER THAT IT HASN'T BEEN
EASY FOR BILLY.

REMEMBER THAT IT HASN'T BEEN
EASY FOR BILLY.
YOU WERE THE OLDEST AND THE

EASY FOR BILLY.
YOU WERE THE OLDEST AND THE
FAVORITE.

YOU WERE THE OLDEST AND THE
FAVORITE.
YOU GOT THE WAGON.

FAVORITE.
YOU GOT THE WAGON.
HE GOT THE CARDBOARD BOX.

YOU GOT THE WAGON.
HE GOT THE CARDBOARD BOX.
YOU GOT THE BICYCLE.

HE GOT THE CARDBOARD BOX.
YOU GOT THE BICYCLE.
HE GOT THE CARDBOARD BOX.

YOU GOT THE BICYCLE.
HE GOT THE CARDBOARD BOX.
YOU GOT THE BRAINS.

HE GOT THE CARDBOARD BOX.
YOU GOT THE BRAINS.
HE GOT THE CARDBOARD BOX.

YOU GOT THE BRAINS.
HE GOT THE CARDBOARD BOX.
SO?

HE GOT THE CARDBOARD BOX.
SO?
WELL, BILLY THINKS THE WORLD

SO?
WELL, BILLY THINKS THE WORLD
OF YOU.

WELL, BILLY THINKS THE WORLD
OF YOU.
I MEAN, WHEN YOU COME ON

OF YOU.
I MEAN, WHEN YOU COME ON
TELEVISION, HE GETS ALL EXCITED,

I MEAN, WHEN YOU COME ON
TELEVISION, HE GETS ALL EXCITED,
AND HE POINTS AT THE SCREEN.

TELEVISION, HE GETS ALL EXCITED,
AND HE POINTS AT THE SCREEN.
HE KNOWS YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT!

AND HE POINTS AT THE SCREEN.
HE KNOWS YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT!
THAT'S ALL HE TALKS ABOUT.

HE KNOWS YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT!
THAT'S ALL HE TALKS ABOUT.
COME ON, MAMA.

THAT'S ALL HE TALKS ABOUT.
COME ON, MAMA.
GET TO THE POINT.

COME ON, MAMA.
GET TO THE POINT.
WELL, ALL WEEK LONG, BILLY'S

GET TO THE POINT.
WELL, ALL WEEK LONG, BILLY'S
BEEN HINTING ABOUT HOW HE'D LIKE

WELL, ALL WEEK LONG, BILLY'S
BEEN HINTING ABOUT HOW HE'D LIKE
TO GO WITH YOU ON YOUR TRIP TO

BEEN HINTING ABOUT HOW HE'D LIKE
TO GO WITH YOU ON YOUR TRIP TO
ISRAEL AND EGYPT.

TO GO WITH YOU ON YOUR TRIP TO
ISRAEL AND EGYPT.
WHAT?! THE MIDDLE EAST?!

ISRAEL AND EGYPT.
WHAT?! THE MIDDLE EAST?!
OH, NO, MAMA.

WHAT?! THE MIDDLE EAST?!
OH, NO, MAMA.
OH, I CAN'T, NOT THE

OH, NO, MAMA.
OH, I CAN'T, NOT THE
MIDDLE EAST!

OH, I CAN'T, NOT THE
MIDDLE EAST!
THAT AREA'S A TINDERBOX, A

MIDDLE EAST!
THAT AREA'S A TINDERBOX, A
POWDER KEG!

THAT AREA'S A TINDERBOX, A
POWDER KEG!
I CAN'T TAKE HIM THERE!

POWDER KEG!
I CAN'T TAKE HIM THERE!
OH, JIMMY, STOP BEING SO

I CAN'T TAKE HIM THERE!
OH, JIMMY, STOP BEING SO
MELODRAMATIC!

OH, JIMMY, STOP BEING SO
MELODRAMATIC!
MAMA, LOOK, I PROMISE I'LL

MELODRAMATIC!
MAMA, LOOK, I PROMISE I'LL
MAKE IT UP TO HIM IN ANOTHER

MAMA, LOOK, I PROMISE I'LL
MAKE IT UP TO HIM IN ANOTHER
WAY.

MAKE IT UP TO HIM IN ANOTHER
WAY.
I'LL... I'LL TAKE HIM TO THE

WAY.
I'LL... I'LL TAKE HIM TO THE
S.A.L.T. TALKS.

I'LL... I'LL TAKE HIM TO THE
S.A.L.T. TALKS.
OR, UH, HE CAN... HE CAN

S.A.L.T. TALKS.
OR, UH, HE CAN... HE CAN
REPRESENT ME AT THE GOVERNOR'S

OR, UH, HE CAN... HE CAN
REPRESENT ME AT THE GOVERNOR'S
CONFERENCE, BUT NOT ISRAEL,

REPRESENT ME AT THE GOVERNOR'S
CONFERENCE, BUT NOT ISRAEL,
MAMA, NOT THE MIDDLE EAST.

CONFERENCE, BUT NOT ISRAEL,
MAMA, NOT THE MIDDLE EAST.
BESIDES, HE'D BE BORED STIFF IN

MAMA, NOT THE MIDDLE EAST.
BESIDES, HE'D BE BORED STIFF IN
ISRAEL.

BESIDES, HE'D BE BORED STIFF IN
ISRAEL.
I'M GONNA BE AT MEETINGS ALL

ISRAEL.
I'M GONNA BE AT MEETINGS ALL
DAY.

I'M GONNA BE AT MEETINGS ALL
DAY.
WELL, TAKE HIM TO THE

DAY.
WELL, TAKE HIM TO THE
MEETINGS WITH YOU!

WELL, TAKE HIM TO THE
MEETINGS WITH YOU!
BESIDES, MAYBE, UH, SADAT OR

MEETINGS WITH YOU!
BESIDES, MAYBE, UH, SADAT OR
BEGIN HAS A YOUNGER BROTHER HE

BESIDES, MAYBE, UH, SADAT OR
BEGIN HAS A YOUNGER BROTHER HE
CAN GO ALONG WITH AND BE WITH.

BEGIN HAS A YOUNGER BROTHER HE
CAN GO ALONG WITH AND BE WITH.
OH, GOD.

CAN GO ALONG WITH AND BE WITH.
OH, GOD.
PLEASE, MAMA, PLEASE DON'T MAKE

OH, GOD.
PLEASE, MAMA, PLEASE DON'T MAKE
ME... ME DO THIS, PLEASE.

PLEASE, MAMA, PLEASE DON'T MAKE
ME... ME DO THIS, PLEASE.
DON'T BE ANGRY AT ME, MAMA.

ME... ME DO THIS, PLEASE.
DON'T BE ANGRY AT ME, MAMA.
NO, JIMMY, I WON'T BE

DON'T BE ANGRY AT ME, MAMA.
NO, JIMMY, I WON'T BE
ANGRY...

NO, JIMMY, I WON'T BE
ANGRY...
JUST DISAPPOINTED.

ANGRY...
JUST DISAPPOINTED.
[SIGHS]

JUST DISAPPOINTED.
[SIGHS]
ALL RIGHT, MAMA.

[SIGHS]
ALL RIGHT, MAMA.
ALL RIGHT, MAMA, I'LL DO IT.

ALL RIGHT, MAMA.
ALL RIGHT, MAMA, I'LL DO IT.
OH, I KNEW YOU WOULD, JIMMY!

ALL RIGHT, MAMA, I'LL DO IT.
OH, I KNEW YOU WOULD, JIMMY!
AND THAT'S WHY I PHONED THE

OH, I KNEW YOU WOULD, JIMMY!
AND THAT'S WHY I PHONED THE
NAVAL HOSPITAL WHERE BILLY'S

AND THAT'S WHY I PHONED THE
NAVAL HOSPITAL WHERE BILLY'S
BEEN DRYING OUT, AND I WENT AND

NAVAL HOSPITAL WHERE BILLY'S
BEEN DRYING OUT, AND I WENT AND
GOT HIM, AND I FLEW HIM IN HERE.

BEEN DRYING OUT, AND I WENT AND
GOT HIM, AND I FLEW HIM IN HERE.
I TOOK HIM TO THE AIRPORT.

GOT HIM, AND I FLEW HIM IN HERE.
I TOOK HIM TO THE AIRPORT.
HE JUST LOVED ALL THE JETS AND

I TOOK HIM TO THE AIRPORT.
HE JUST LOVED ALL THE JETS AND
THE ESCALATORS, HAD THE BEST

HE JUST LOVED ALL THE JETS AND
THE ESCALATORS, HAD THE BEST
TIME, AND HE'S HERE NOW.

THE ESCALATORS, HAD THE BEST
TIME, AND HE'S HERE NOW.
HE'S OUT IN THE HALL.

TIME, AND HE'S HERE NOW.
HE'S OUT IN THE HALL.
OKAY, CALL HIM IN.

HE'S OUT IN THE HALL.
OKAY, CALL HIM IN.
BILLY?

OKAY, CALL HIM IN.
BILLY?
BILLY!

BILLY?
BILLY!
OH, THAT BOY.

HI, MAMA.
HI, JIMMY.
LET ME HAVE SOME OF THAT BEER.

HI, JIMMY.
LET ME HAVE SOME OF THAT BEER.
[CHUCKLES]

LET ME HAVE SOME OF THAT BEER.
[CHUCKLES]
JUST A LITTLE SIP OF BEER, MAMA.

[CHUCKLES]
JUST A LITTLE SIP OF BEER, MAMA.
NO, NO, BI... BILLY! BILLY!

JUST A LITTLE SIP OF BEER, MAMA.
NO, NO, BI... BILLY! BILLY!
NOW, BILLY, THE DOCTORS TOLD YOU

NO, NO, BI... BILLY! BILLY!
NOW, BILLY, THE DOCTORS TOLD YOU
NO ALCOHOL AT ALL!

NOW, BILLY, THE DOCTORS TOLD YOU
NO ALCOHOL AT ALL!
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY

NO ALCOHOL AT ALL!
YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY
ALCOHOL!

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY
ALCOHOL!
NOW, BILLY...

ALCOHOL!
NOW, BILLY...
N-N-NOT EVEN... NOT EVEN

NOW, BILLY...
N-N-NOT EVEN... NOT EVEN
BEER?

N-N-NOT EVEN... NOT EVEN
BEER?
NO, NOT EVEN BEER, NO

BEER?
NO, NOT EVEN BEER, NO
ALCOHOL, NO DRINKING AT ALL,

NO, NOT EVEN BEER, NO
ALCOHOL, NO DRINKING AT ALL,
BILLY.

ALCOHOL, NO DRINKING AT ALL,
BILLY.
[CHUCKLES]

BILLY.
[CHUCKLES]
OH, NOW, LOOK, BILLY, BILLY,

[CHUCKLES]
OH, NOW, LOOK, BILLY, BILLY,
BILLY... BILLY!

OH, NOW, LOOK, BILLY, BILLY,
BILLY... BILLY!
[CHUCKLES]

BILLY... BILLY!
[CHUCKLES]
BILLY, NOW, ISN'T THERE

[CHUCKLES]
BILLY, NOW, ISN'T THERE
SOMETHING THAT YOU HAD TO SAY TO

BILLY, NOW, ISN'T THERE
SOMETHING THAT YOU HAD TO SAY TO
YOUR BROTHER, JIMMY?

SOMETHING THAT YOU HAD TO SAY TO
YOUR BROTHER, JIMMY?
UH, UH, YES, MA'AM, THERE

YOUR BROTHER, JIMMY?
UH, UH, YES, MA'AM, THERE
WAS.

UH, UH, YES, MA'AM, THERE
WAS.
UH, JIMMY, UH...

WAS.
UH, JIMMY, UH...
[CHUCKLES]

UH, JIMMY, UH...
[CHUCKLES]
UH... I... IF I... IF I, UH, UH,

[CHUCKLES]
UH... I... IF I... IF I, UH, UH,
UH, E-EMBARRASSED YOU F-F-FOR

UH... I... IF I... IF I, UH, UH,
UH, E-EMBARRASSED YOU F-F-FOR
SOMETHING I SAID, UH, OR

UH, E-EMBARRASSED YOU F-F-FOR
SOMETHING I SAID, UH, OR
SOMEPLACE THAT I WHIZZED...

SOMETHING I SAID, UH, OR
SOMEPLACE THAT I WHIZZED...
I-I-I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.

SOMEPLACE THAT I WHIZZED...
I-I-I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.
[BURPS]

I-I-I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.
[BURPS]
IT'S OKAY, BILLY.

[BURPS]
IT'S OKAY, BILLY.
EXCUSE ME, MAMA.

IT'S OKAY, BILLY.
EXCUSE ME, MAMA.
I REALIZE YOU'RE DOING YOUR

EXCUSE ME, MAMA.
I REALIZE YOU'RE DOING YOUR
BEST.

I REALIZE YOU'RE DOING YOUR
BEST.
I-I-I-I AM.

BEST.
I-I-I-I AM.
NOW, JIMMY, ISN'T THERE

I-I-I-I AM.
NOW, JIMMY, ISN'T THERE
SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO

NOW, JIMMY, ISN'T THERE
SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO
YOUR BROTHER?

SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO
YOUR BROTHER?
[SIGHS]

YOUR BROTHER?
[SIGHS]
WELL, ALL RIGHT.

[SIGHS]
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
BILLY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO THE

WELL, ALL RIGHT.
BILLY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO THE
MIDDLE EAST WITH ME?

BILLY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO THE
MIDDLE EAST WITH ME?
UH, UH, THE... THE... THE

MIDDLE EAST WITH ME?
UH, UH, THE... THE... THE
MIDDLE EA... OH, I... WELL,

UH, UH, THE... THE... THE
MIDDLE EA... OH, I... WELL,
Y-YES, I WOULD.

MIDDLE EA... OH, I... WELL,
Y-YES, I WOULD.
[CHUCKLES]

Y-YES, I WOULD.
[CHUCKLES]
YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH

[CHUCKLES]
YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH
SHUT AND BEHAVE YOURSELF!

YOU HAVE TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH
SHUT AND BEHAVE YOURSELF!
THE EYES OF THE WORLD IS GONNA

SHUT AND BEHAVE YOURSELF!
THE EYES OF THE WORLD IS GONNA
BE UPON US.

THE EYES OF THE WORLD IS GONNA
BE UPON US.
I WILL. I WILL. I PROMISE.

BE UPON US.
I WILL. I WILL. I PROMISE.
I-I-I-I'LL DO MY BEST.

I WILL. I WILL. I PROMISE.
I-I-I-I'LL DO MY BEST.
[LAUGHS]

I-I-I-I'LL DO MY BEST.
[LAUGHS]
OH, IT MAKES MY WRINKLED FACE

[LAUGHS]
OH, IT MAKES MY WRINKLED FACE
GLOW JUST TO SEE THE TWO OF YOU

OH, IT MAKES MY WRINKLED FACE
GLOW JUST TO SEE THE TWO OF YOU
TOGETHER AGAIN... MY BOYS!

GLOW JUST TO SEE THE TWO OF YOU
TOGETHER AGAIN... MY BOYS!
[LAUGHS]

TOGETHER AGAIN... MY BOYS!
[LAUGHS]
UH, THE MIDDLE EAST.

[LAUGHS]
UH, THE MIDDLE EAST.
JUST MAKES ME GLOW, MY

UH, THE MIDDLE EAST.
JUST MAKES ME GLOW, MY
WRINKLED FACE GLOW, JUST TO SEE

JUST MAKES ME GLOW, MY
WRINKLED FACE GLOW, JUST TO SEE
YOU TWO TOGETHER.

WRINKLED FACE GLOW, JUST TO SEE
YOU TWO TOGETHER.
[LAUGHS]

YOU TWO TOGETHER.
[LAUGHS]
IT WARMS MY HEART, MY WRINKLED

[LAUGHS]
IT WARMS MY HEART, MY WRINKLED
HEART.

IT WARMS MY HEART, MY WRINKLED
HEART.
MY HEART'S WRINKLED, TOO.

HEART.
MY HEART'S WRINKLED, TOO.
Announcer: AND NOW FOR A LIVE

MY HEART'S WRINKLED, TOO.
Announcer: AND NOW FOR A LIVE
REPORT ON PRESIDENT CARTER'S

Announcer: AND NOW FOR A LIVE
REPORT ON PRESIDENT CARTER'S
TRIP TO THE MIDDLE EAST, HERE IS

REPORT ON PRESIDENT CARTER'S
TRIP TO THE MIDDLE EAST, HERE IS
WALTER CRONKITE FROM JERUSALEM.

TRIP TO THE MIDDLE EAST, HERE IS
WALTER CRONKITE FROM JERUSALEM.
THIS IS WALTER CRONKITE,

WALTER CRONKITE FROM JERUSALEM.
THIS IS WALTER CRONKITE,
REPORTING FROM JERUSALEM.

THIS IS WALTER CRONKITE,
REPORTING FROM JERUSALEM.
IT'S BEEN AN EVENTFUL THREE

REPORTING FROM JERUSALEM.
IT'S BEEN AN EVENTFUL THREE
DAYS SINCE PRESIDENT CARTER

IT'S BEEN AN EVENTFUL THREE
DAYS SINCE PRESIDENT CARTER
ARRIVED IN CAIRO WEDNESDAY

DAYS SINCE PRESIDENT CARTER
ARRIVED IN CAIRO WEDNESDAY
NIGHT.

ARRIVED IN CAIRO WEDNESDAY
NIGHT.
TONIGHT THE PRESIDENT LANDED IN

NIGHT.
TONIGHT THE PRESIDENT LANDED IN
JERUSALEM, WHERE HE WAS MET BY

TONIGHT THE PRESIDENT LANDED IN
JERUSALEM, WHERE HE WAS MET BY
PRIME MINISTER BEGIN, WHO TOOK

JERUSALEM, WHERE HE WAS MET BY
PRIME MINISTER BEGIN, WHO TOOK
THE PRESIDENTIAL PARTY ON A TOUR

PRIME MINISTER BEGIN, WHO TOOK
THE PRESIDENTIAL PARTY ON A TOUR
OF THE HOLY CITY.

THE PRESIDENTIAL PARTY ON A TOUR
OF THE HOLY CITY.
SECURITY PRECAUTIONS HAVE BEEN

OF THE HOLY CITY.
SECURITY PRECAUTIONS HAVE BEEN
ESPECIALLY HEAVY IN LIGHT OF

SECURITY PRECAUTIONS HAVE BEEN
ESPECIALLY HEAVY IN LIGHT OF
THE UNEXPECTED PRESENCE OF THE

ESPECIALLY HEAVY IN LIGHT OF
THE UNEXPECTED PRESENCE OF THE
PRESIDENT'S BROTHER, BILLY.

THE UNEXPECTED PRESENCE OF THE
PRESIDENT'S BROTHER, BILLY.
HOWEVER, THE TIGHT SECURITY,

PRESIDENT'S BROTHER, BILLY.
HOWEVER, THE TIGHT SECURITY,
PARTICULARLY THE HEAVY, PLASTIC

HOWEVER, THE TIGHT SECURITY,
PARTICULARLY THE HEAVY, PLASTIC
TARPAULIN COVERING THE WAILING

PARTICULARLY THE HEAVY, PLASTIC
TARPAULIN COVERING THE WAILING
WALL, PROVED UNNECESSARY.

TARPAULIN COVERING THE WAILING
WALL, PROVED UNNECESSARY.
FINALLY, LATE TONIGHT, WE

WALL, PROVED UNNECESSARY.
FINALLY, LATE TONIGHT, WE
RECEIVED WORD THAT PRESIDENT

FINALLY, LATE TONIGHT, WE
RECEIVED WORD THAT PRESIDENT
SADAT HAS JOINED PRESIDENT

RECEIVED WORD THAT PRESIDENT
SADAT HAS JOINED PRESIDENT
CARTER AND PRIME MINISTER BEGIN

SADAT HAS JOINED PRESIDENT
CARTER AND PRIME MINISTER BEGIN
AT A FORMAL STATE DINNER, AND

CARTER AND PRIME MINISTER BEGIN
AT A FORMAL STATE DINNER, AND
THERE IS SPECULATION THAT WE MAY

AT A FORMAL STATE DINNER, AND
THERE IS SPECULATION THAT WE MAY
SOON HAVE A HISTORIC PEACE

THERE IS SPECULATION THAT WE MAY
SOON HAVE A HISTORIC PEACE
TREATY.

SOON HAVE A HISTORIC PEACE
TREATY.
[Israeli accent] HE WAS A

TREATY.
[Israeli accent] HE WAS A
TINY LITTLE GUY... TINY!

[Israeli accent] HE WAS A
TINY LITTLE GUY... TINY!
AH.

TINY LITTLE GUY... TINY!
AH.
BUT I HAVE SPOKEN LONG ENOUGH.

AH.
BUT I HAVE SPOKEN LONG ENOUGH.
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO LET MY

BUT I HAVE SPOKEN LONG ENOUGH.
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO LET MY
GUESTS GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE.

IT'S TIME FOR ME TO LET MY
GUESTS GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE.
FIRST, MY GOOD FRIEND ANWAR,

GUESTS GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE.
FIRST, MY GOOD FRIEND ANWAR,
WHO HAS BROUGHT HIS BEAUTIFUL

FIRST, MY GOOD FRIEND ANWAR,
WHO HAS BROUGHT HIS BEAUTIFUL
WIFE, JEHAN.

WHO HAS BROUGHT HIS BEAUTIFUL
WIFE, JEHAN.
[APPLAUSE]

WIFE, JEHAN.
[APPLAUSE]
WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!

[APPLAUSE]
WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!
[LAUGHS]

WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!
[LAUGHS]
WHOO!

[LAUGHS]
WHOO!
[Egyptian accent] UH,

WHOO!
[Egyptian accent] UH,
REALLY, REALLY, THANK YOU, MY

[Egyptian accent] UH,
REALLY, REALLY, THANK YOU, MY
FRIEND MENACHEM AND MY FRIEND

REALLY, REALLY, THANK YOU, MY
FRIEND MENACHEM AND MY FRIEND
JIMMY CARTER.

FRIEND MENACHEM AND MY FRIEND
JIMMY CARTER.
I WOULD LIKE TO TOAST THE

JIMMY CARTER.
I WOULD LIKE TO TOAST THE
NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.

I WOULD LIKE TO TOAST THE
NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.
LET'S MAKE IT TWO...

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.
LET'S MAKE IT TWO...
WHOO!

LET'S MAKE IT TWO...
WHOO!
IN A ROW!

WHOO!
IN A ROW!
THANK YOU.

IN A ROW!
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, ANWAR, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, ANWAR, THANK YOU.
AND NOW, UH, I'D LIKE TO HAND

THANK YOU, ANWAR, THANK YOU.
AND NOW, UH, I'D LIKE TO HAND
THE FLOOR OVER TO MY GOOD

AND NOW, UH, I'D LIKE TO HAND
THE FLOOR OVER TO MY GOOD
FRIEND JIMMY CARTER!

THE FLOOR OVER TO MY GOOD
FRIEND JIMMY CARTER!
[APPLAUSE]

FRIEND JIMMY CARTER!
[APPLAUSE]
WHOO! WHOO!

[APPLAUSE]
WHOO! WHOO!
WHOO!

WHOO! WHOO!
WHOO!
WHOO!

WHOO!
WHOO!
I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS, JIMMY.

WHOO!
I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS, JIMMY.
I-I-I'M JUST PROUD OF YOU.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS, JIMMY.
I-I-I'M JUST PROUD OF YOU.
REALLY, I AM.

I-I-I'M JUST PROUD OF YOU.
REALLY, I AM.
THANK YOU, MENACHEM.

REALLY, I AM.
THANK YOU, MENACHEM.
[CHUCKLES]

THANK YOU, MENACHEM.
[CHUCKLES]
BEFORE I MAKE A TOAST TO THE

[CHUCKLES]
BEFORE I MAKE A TOAST TO THE
PEACE WE HAVE ACHIEVED TODAY,

BEFORE I MAKE A TOAST TO THE
PEACE WE HAVE ACHIEVED TODAY,
I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU,

PEACE WE HAVE ACHIEVED TODAY,
I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU,
ANWAR, FOR THE MISHAP WITH THE

I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU,
ANWAR, FOR THE MISHAP WITH THE
DESSERT INVOLVING MY BROTHER,

ANWAR, FOR THE MISHAP WITH THE
DESSERT INVOLVING MY BROTHER,
BILLY.

DESSERT INVOLVING MY BROTHER,
BILLY.
AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THE

BILLY.
AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THE
UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT WILL

AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THE
UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT WILL
PAY FOR THE COST OF CLEANING

UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT WILL
PAY FOR THE COST OF CLEANING
YOUR SUIT.

PAY FOR THE COST OF CLEANING
YOUR SUIT.
WHOO!

YOUR SUIT.
WHOO!
IN THE MEANTIME, I SUGGEST

WHOO!
IN THE MEANTIME, I SUGGEST
YOU SOAK IT IN COLD WATER, AND I

IN THE MEANTIME, I SUGGEST
YOU SOAK IT IN COLD WATER, AND I
ASSURE YOU, WHEN YOU GET IT

YOU SOAK IT IN COLD WATER, AND I
ASSURE YOU, WHEN YOU GET IT
BACK, IT WILL BE AS GOOD AS NEW.

ASSURE YOU, WHEN YOU GET IT
BACK, IT WILL BE AS GOOD AS NEW.
[CHUCKLES]

BACK, IT WILL BE AS GOOD AS NEW.
[CHUCKLES]
NOW FOR THE PEACE WE HAVE WON

[CHUCKLES]
NOW FOR THE PEACE WE HAVE WON
TODAY... LET US TOAST THE

NOW FOR THE PEACE WE HAVE WON
TODAY... LET US TOAST THE
COURAGE OF PRIME MINISTER BEGIN,

TODAY... LET US TOAST THE
COURAGE OF PRIME MINISTER BEGIN,
PRESIDENT SADAT, AND MYSELF.

COURAGE OF PRIME MINISTER BEGIN,
PRESIDENT SADAT, AND MYSELF.
YEE!

PRESIDENT SADAT, AND MYSELF.
YEE!
THANK YOU, JIMMY.

YEE!
THANK YOU, JIMMY.
AND NOW I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE

THANK YOU, JIMMY.
AND NOW I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE
A TOAST OF MY OWN... TO THE

AND NOW I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE
A TOAST OF MY OWN... TO THE
SPIRIT OF PEACE, A SPIRIT THAT

A TOAST OF MY OWN... TO THE
SPIRIT OF PEACE, A SPIRIT THAT
NOTHING CAN DAMPEN, NOT EVEN

SPIRIT OF PEACE, A SPIRIT THAT
NOTHING CAN DAMPEN, NOT EVEN
THE PRESENCE OF, UH, PRESIDENT

NOTHING CAN DAMPEN, NOT EVEN
THE PRESENCE OF, UH, PRESIDENT
CARTER'S BROTHER, WILLIAM.

THE PRESENCE OF, UH, PRESIDENT
CARTER'S BROTHER, WILLIAM.
[LAUGHS]

CARTER'S BROTHER, WILLIAM.
[LAUGHS]
WHOO!

[LAUGHS]
WHOO!
[APPLAUSE]

WHOO!
[APPLAUSE]
UH, THANK YOU.

[APPLAUSE]
UH, THANK YOU.
IN MY OWN FAMILY, WE HAVE

UH, THANK YOU.
IN MY OWN FAMILY, WE HAVE
SUCH A CHARACTER AS WILLIAM...

IN MY OWN FAMILY, WE HAVE
SUCH A CHARACTER AS WILLIAM...
MY BROTHER-IN-LAW, AVRAIM.

SUCH A CHARACTER AS WILLIAM...
MY BROTHER-IN-LAW, AVRAIM.
FORGIVE ME, SWEETHEART.

MY BROTHER-IN-LAW, AVRAIM.
FORGIVE ME, SWEETHEART.
THE JEWISH PEOPLE HAVE A TERM

FORGIVE ME, SWEETHEART.
THE JEWISH PEOPLE HAVE A TERM
FOR SUCH A PERSON.

THE JEWISH PEOPLE HAVE A TERM
FOR SUCH A PERSON.
HE IS CALLED "PUTZ."

FOR SUCH A PERSON.
HE IS CALLED "PUTZ."
SO LET'S ENJOY OURSELVES!

HE IS CALLED "PUTZ."
SO LET'S ENJOY OURSELVES!
CELEBRATE PEACE WHEREVER YOU ARE

SO LET'S ENJOY OURSELVES!
CELEBRATE PEACE WHEREVER YOU ARE
TODAY!

CELEBRATE PEACE WHEREVER YOU ARE
TODAY!
SHALOM! SHALOM!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S A
REAL PLEASURE OF MINE TO
INTRODUCE THESE NEXT TWO

REAL PLEASURE OF MINE TO
INTRODUCE THESE NEXT TWO
GENTLEMEN TO YOU.

INTRODUCE THESE NEXT TWO
GENTLEMEN TO YOU.
THEY'RE REALLY CLASSICAL ARTISTS

GENTLEMEN TO YOU.
THEY'RE REALLY CLASSICAL ARTISTS
IN THEIR OWN RIGHT...

THEY'RE REALLY CLASSICAL ARTISTS
IN THEIR OWN RIGHT...
MR. GREGORY HINES AND, FROM THE

IN THEIR OWN RIGHT...
MR. GREGORY HINES AND, FROM THE
BROADWAY PLAY "EUBIE,"

MR. GREGORY HINES AND, FROM THE
BROADWAY PLAY "EUBIE,"
EUBIE BLAKE.

BROADWAY PLAY "EUBIE,"
EUBIE BLAKE.
HE'S HERE HIMSELF, AND LET'S PUT

EUBIE BLAKE.
HE'S HERE HIMSELF, AND LET'S PUT
OUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR HIM.

HE'S HERE HIMSELF, AND LET'S PUT
OUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR HIM.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

OUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR HIM.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
YOU KNOW THE BLUES?

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
YOU KNOW THE BLUES?
WHAT, "LOWDOWN BLUES"?

YOU KNOW THE BLUES?
WHAT, "LOWDOWN BLUES"?
YEAH.

WHAT, "LOWDOWN BLUES"?
YEAH.
THEY WANT US TO WRITE A NEW RIFF

YEAH.
THEY WANT US TO WRITE A NEW RIFF
OF THE MUSIC.

THEY WANT US TO WRITE A NEW RIFF
OF THE MUSIC.
UH-HUH.

OF THE MUSIC.
UH-HUH.
SO THAT'S HOW... WE DON'T...

UH-HUH.
SO THAT'S HOW... WE DON'T...
CECIL AND BLAKE, I'M TALKING

SO THAT'S HOW... WE DON'T...
CECIL AND BLAKE, I'M TALKING
ABOUT.

CECIL AND BLAKE, I'M TALKING
ABOUT.
YEAH.

ABOUT.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHO I AM, DON'T YOU?

YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHO I AM, DON'T YOU?
OH, YEAH, I KNOW. I KNOW.

YOU KNOW WHO I AM, DON'T YOU?
OH, YEAH, I KNOW. I KNOW.
AND... UH, SO THEY WANTED YOU TO

OH, YEAH, I KNOW. I KNOW.
AND... UH, SO THEY WANTED YOU TO
WRITE A BLUES TUNE?

AND... UH, SO THEY WANTED YOU TO
WRITE A BLUES TUNE?
YEAH, BUT I DON'T WRITE NO...

WRITE A BLUES TUNE?
YEAH, BUT I DON'T WRITE NO...
BUT I WROTE THIS.

YEAH, BUT I DON'T WRITE NO...
BUT I WROTE THIS.
THREE BLUES... THAT'S ALL I EVER

BUT I WROTE THIS.
THREE BLUES... THAT'S ALL I EVER
WROTE.

THREE BLUES... THAT'S ALL I EVER
WROTE.
YOU WANT TO HEAR IT?

WROTE.
YOU WANT TO HEAR IT?
I WANT TO SING "LOWDOWN BLUES."

YOU WANT TO HEAR IT?
I WANT TO SING "LOWDOWN BLUES."
YOU GONNA SING IT?

I WANT TO SING "LOWDOWN BLUES."
YOU GONNA SING IT?
RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA DO IT IN

YOU GONNA SING IT?
RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA DO IT IN
"E."

RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA DO IT IN
"E."
OH, ALL RIGHT.

"E."
OH, ALL RIGHT.
IN "E"?

OH, ALL RIGHT.
IN "E"?
OKAY?

IN "E"?
OKAY?
YOU GONNA HANG OUT?

OKAY?
YOU GONNA HANG OUT?
[BAND PLAYS "LOWDOWN BLUES"]

YOU GONNA HANG OUT?
[BAND PLAYS "LOWDOWN BLUES"]
♪ I'VE GOT THE LOWDOWN ♪

[BAND PLAYS "LOWDOWN BLUES"]
♪ I'VE GOT THE LOWDOWN ♪
♪ THE LOWEST OF THE LOWDOWN

♪ I'VE GOT THE LOWDOWN ♪
♪ THE LOWEST OF THE LOWDOWN
BLUES ♪

♪ THE LOWEST OF THE LOWDOWN
BLUES ♪
[APPLAUSE]

BLUES ♪
[APPLAUSE]
♪ YES, AND IT FEELS JUST LIKE MY

[APPLAUSE]
♪ YES, AND IT FEELS JUST LIKE MY
CROWN ♪

♪ YES, AND IT FEELS JUST LIKE MY
CROWN ♪
♪ IS SINKING RIGHT ON THROUGH MY

CROWN ♪
♪ IS SINKING RIGHT ON THROUGH MY
SHOES ♪

♪ IS SINKING RIGHT ON THROUGH MY
SHOES ♪
♪ WHOA, AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE I'M

SHOES ♪
♪ WHOA, AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE I'M
BROKE WITH ALL MY CLOTHES IN

♪ WHOA, AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE I'M
BROKE WITH ALL MY CLOTHES IN
PAWN ♪

BROKE WITH ALL MY CLOTHES IN
PAWN ♪
♪ BUT SINCE THAT MORNING I WOKE

PAWN ♪
♪ BUT SINCE THAT MORNING I WOKE
AND FOUND MY BABY GONE ♪

♪ BUT SINCE THAT MORNING I WOKE
AND FOUND MY BABY GONE ♪
♪ WITH THAT MOURNFUL NEWS ♪

AND FOUND MY BABY GONE ♪
♪ WITH THAT MOURNFUL NEWS ♪
♪ I GOT THE LOWEST OF THE

♪ WITH THAT MOURNFUL NEWS ♪
♪ I GOT THE LOWEST OF THE
LO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-WDOWN

♪ I GOT THE LOWEST OF THE
LO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-WDOWN
BLU-U-U-U-U-ES ♪

LO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-WDOWN
BLU-U-U-U-U-ES ♪
♪ WHOA ♪

BLU-U-U-U-U-ES ♪
♪ WHOA ♪
♪ BEATING OUT THAT FELLA ♪

♪ WHOA ♪
♪ BEATING OUT THAT FELLA ♪
♪ NEVER TOLD NO LIE ♪

♪ BEATING OUT THAT FELLA ♪
♪ NEVER TOLD NO LIE ♪
♪ WHO SAID YOU NEVER MISS THE

♪ NEVER TOLD NO LIE ♪
♪ WHO SAID YOU NEVER MISS THE
WATER TILL THE WELL RUNS DRY ♪

♪ WHO SAID YOU NEVER MISS THE
WATER TILL THE WELL RUNS DRY ♪
YEAH.

WATER TILL THE WELL RUNS DRY ♪
YEAH.
♪ THE ONE WHO TOOK MY

YEAH.
♪ THE ONE WHO TOOK MY
SWEETIE ♪

♪ THE ONE WHO TOOK MY
SWEETIE ♪
♪ HE BETTER LEAVE THIS SHORE ♪

SWEETIE ♪
♪ HE BETTER LEAVE THIS SHORE ♪
♪ OR THERE WILL SURELY BE SOME

♪ HE BETTER LEAVE THIS SHORE ♪
♪ OR THERE WILL SURELY BE SOME
CREEP A-HANGIN' ON HIS DOOR ♪

♪ OR THERE WILL SURELY BE SOME
CREEP A-HANGIN' ON HIS DOOR ♪
♪ I GOT THE LOWDOWN ♪

CREEP A-HANGIN' ON HIS DOOR ♪
♪ I GOT THE LOWDOWN ♪
TAKE IT! SING IT!

♪ I GOT THE LOWDOWN ♪
TAKE IT! SING IT!
♪ I GOT THE LO-O-O-O-O-WDOWN

TAKE IT! SING IT!
♪ I GOT THE LO-O-O-O-O-WDOWN
BLUES ♪

♪ I GOT THE LO-O-O-O-O-WDOWN
BLUES ♪
♪ THIS VERY EVENING ♪

BLUES ♪
♪ THIS VERY EVENING ♪
YEAH.

♪ THIS VERY EVENING ♪
YEAH.
♪ OH, AND IT FEELS, IT FEELS,

YEAH.
♪ OH, AND IT FEELS, IT FEELS,
IT FEELS, IT FEELS LIKE MY

♪ OH, AND IT FEELS, IT FEELS,
IT FEELS, IT FEELS LIKE MY
CROWN ♪

IT FEELS, IT FEELS LIKE MY
CROWN ♪
♪ OH, LORD, IT'S SINKING RIGHT

CROWN ♪
♪ OH, LORD, IT'S SINKING RIGHT
ON THROUGH MY SH-O-O-O-O-OES ♪

♪ OH, LORD, IT'S SINKING RIGHT
ON THROUGH MY SH-O-O-O-O-OES ♪
LISTEN TO THIS ONE.

ON THROUGH MY SH-O-O-O-O-OES ♪
LISTEN TO THIS ONE.
♪ YES, WHEN I LOST MY WEIGHT IN

LISTEN TO THIS ONE.
♪ YES, WHEN I LOST MY WEIGHT IN
GOLD ♪

♪ YES, WHEN I LOST MY WEIGHT IN
GOLD ♪
♪ AND I NEVER, EVER EVEN

GOLD ♪
♪ AND I NEVER, EVER EVEN
SIGHED ♪

♪ AND I NEVER, EVER EVEN
SIGHED ♪
♪ BUT WHEN MY DARLING QUIT ME

SIGHED ♪
♪ BUT WHEN MY DARLING QUIT ME
COLD ♪

♪ BUT WHEN MY DARLING QUIT ME
COLD ♪
♪ I NEARLY LAID ME DOWN AND

COLD ♪
♪ I NEARLY LAID ME DOWN AND
DIED ♪

♪ I NEARLY LAID ME DOWN AND
DIED ♪
♪ WITH THAT MOURNFUL NEWS ♪

DIED ♪
♪ WITH THAT MOURNFUL NEWS ♪
♪ I GOT THE LOWEST OF THE

♪ WITH THAT MOURNFUL NEWS ♪
♪ I GOT THE LOWEST OF THE
LOWDOWN BLUES ♪

♪ I GOT THE LOWEST OF THE
LOWDOWN BLUES ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

LOWDOWN BLUES ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ WOKE WITH THAT MOURNFUL NEWS ♪

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ WOKE WITH THAT MOURNFUL NEWS ♪
♪ I GOT THE LOWEST DOWN ♪

♪ WOKE WITH THAT MOURNFUL NEWS ♪
♪ I GOT THE LOWEST DOWN ♪
♪ I GOT THE LOWEST ♪

♪ I GOT THE LOWEST DOWN ♪
♪ I GOT THE LOWEST ♪
♪ OF THE LOWD-O-O-O-O-O-O-OWN ♪

♪ I GOT THE LOWEST ♪
♪ OF THE LOWD-O-O-O-O-O-O-OWN ♪
♪ BL-U-U-U-U-U-U-UES ♪

♪ OF THE LOWD-O-O-O-O-O-O-OWN ♪
♪ BL-U-U-U-U-U-U-UES ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]

♪ BL-U-U-U-U-U-U-UES ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
YES!

[FINALE PLAYS]
YES!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YES!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU'RE SOMETHING!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
YOU'RE SOMETHING!
YOU KNOW THAT?

YOU'RE SOMETHING!
YOU KNOW THAT?
OH, THANK YOU, EUBIE.

YOU KNOW THAT?
OH, THANK YOU, EUBIE.
THANKS!

OH, THANK YOU, EUBIE.
THANKS!
WONDERFUL.

THANKS!
WONDERFUL.
OH.

WONDERFUL.
OH.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

OH.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
[LAUGHS]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
[LAUGHS]
EUBIE, I TELL YOU... HOW CAN I

[LAUGHS]
EUBIE, I TELL YOU... HOW CAN I
THANK YOU FOR WRITING THAT ONE?

EUBIE, I TELL YOU... HOW CAN I
THANK YOU FOR WRITING THAT ONE?
YEAH.

THANK YOU FOR WRITING THAT ONE?
YEAH.
WOW.

YEAH.
WOW.
I THANK YOU FOR SING... YOU

WOW.
I THANK YOU FOR SING... YOU
KNOW, I GET A LOT OF ROYALTIES

I THANK YOU FOR SING... YOU
KNOW, I GET A LOT OF ROYALTIES
OFF OF YOU SINGING.

KNOW, I GET A LOT OF ROYALTIES
OFF OF YOU SINGING.
OH, YEAH, REALLY?

OFF OF YOU SINGING.
OH, YEAH, REALLY?
YEAH.

OH, YEAH, REALLY?
YEAH.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.

YEAH.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.
LISTEN, THE OTHER SONG, UM,

I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.
LISTEN, THE OTHER SONG, UM,
"SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ"?

LISTEN, THE OTHER SONG, UM,
"SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ"?
YEAH.

"SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ"?
YEAH.
THAT'S NOT A BLUES TUNE, BUT

YEAH.
THAT'S NOT A BLUES TUNE, BUT
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.

THAT'S NOT A BLUES TUNE, BUT
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
YOU WANT ME TO PLAY IT FOR

IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
YOU WANT ME TO PLAY IT FOR
YOU?

YOU WANT ME TO PLAY IT FOR
YOU?
LET'S DO IT IN "C."

YOU?
LET'S DO IT IN "C."
["SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ" PLAYS]

LET'S DO IT IN "C."
["SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ" PLAYS]
♪ EVERYBODY THINKS I'M

["SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ" PLAYS]
♪ EVERYBODY THINKS I'M
CRAZY ♪

♪ EVERYBODY THINKS I'M
CRAZY ♪
♪ THEY SAY I'VE GONE PLUMB MAD ♪

CRAZY ♪
♪ THEY SAY I'VE GONE PLUMB MAD ♪
♪ EVERYBODY THINKS I'M CRAZY ♪

♪ THEY SAY I'VE GONE PLUMB MAD ♪
♪ EVERYBODY THINKS I'M CRAZY ♪
♪ LOST ALL THE SENSE I EVER

♪ EVERYBODY THINKS I'M CRAZY ♪
♪ LOST ALL THE SENSE I EVER
HAD ♪

♪ LOST ALL THE SENSE I EVER
HAD ♪
♪ WHEN THEY SEE ME SHAKE ♪

HAD ♪
♪ WHEN THEY SEE ME SHAKE ♪
♪ IT MAKES THEM SHIVER ♪

♪ WHEN THEY SEE ME SHAKE ♪
♪ IT MAKES THEM SHIVER ♪
♪ WHEN I DO A BREAK ♪

♪ IT MAKES THEM SHIVER ♪
♪ WHEN I DO A BREAK ♪
♪ IT MAKES THEM QUIVER ♪

♪ WHEN I DO A BREAK ♪
♪ IT MAKES THEM QUIVER ♪
♪ I'M NOT INSANE ♪

♪ IT MAKES THEM QUIVER ♪
♪ I'M NOT INSANE ♪
♪ I'M NOT TO BLAME ♪

♪ I'M NOT INSANE ♪
♪ I'M NOT TO BLAME ♪
♪ THE CAUSE OF IT ALL JUST ISN'T

♪ I'M NOT TO BLAME ♪
♪ THE CAUSE OF IT ALL JUST ISN'T
IN MY BRAIN ♪

♪ THE CAUSE OF IT ALL JUST ISN'T
IN MY BRAIN ♪
♪ JUST BECAUSE I DO A LITTLE

IN MY BRAIN ♪
♪ JUST BECAUSE I DO A LITTLE
WIGGLE ♪

♪ JUST BECAUSE I DO A LITTLE
WIGGLE ♪
♪ IN A REGULAR SALOME STYLE ♪

WIGGLE ♪
♪ IN A REGULAR SALOME STYLE ♪
♪ JUST BECAUSE I DO A LITTLE

♪ IN A REGULAR SALOME STYLE ♪
♪ JUST BECAUSE I DO A LITTLE
WRIGGLE ♪

♪ JUST BECAUSE I DO A LITTLE
WRIGGLE ♪
♪ LIKE ON A HAWAIIAN ISLE ♪

WRIGGLE ♪
♪ LIKE ON A HAWAIIAN ISLE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I KICK LIKE A DONKEY

♪ LIKE ON A HAWAIIAN ISLE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I KICK LIKE A DONKEY
AND I JUMP WAY BACK ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I KICK LIKE A DONKEY
AND I JUMP WAY BACK ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I ACT LIKE A MONKEY AND

AND I JUMP WAY BACK ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I ACT LIKE A MONKEY AND
A BALLIN' JACK ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I ACT LIKE A MONKEY AND
A BALLIN' JACK ♪
♪ AND LIKE MISS MINNIE ♪

A BALLIN' JACK ♪
♪ AND LIKE MISS MINNIE ♪
♪ I DO THE SHIMMY ♪

♪ AND LIKE MISS MINNIE ♪
♪ I DO THE SHIMMY ♪
♪ I KEEP MY SHOULDERS SHAKIN'

♪ I DO THE SHIMMY ♪
♪ I KEEP MY SHOULDERS SHAKIN'
TILL YOU HEAR THEM CRACK ♪

♪ I KEEP MY SHOULDERS SHAKIN'
TILL YOU HEAR THEM CRACK ♪
♪ JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE MY FEET

TILL YOU HEAR THEM CRACK ♪
♪ JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE MY FEET
A-SHUFFLIN' ♪

♪ JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE MY FEET
A-SHUFFLIN' ♪
♪ HA HA ♪

A-SHUFFLIN' ♪
♪ HA HA ♪
♪ JUST BECAUSE I ACT LIKE A

♪ HA HA ♪
♪ JUST BECAUSE I ACT LIKE A
RAZZ ♪

♪ JUST BECAUSE I ACT LIKE A
RAZZ ♪
♪ THOUGH I SEEM A LITTLE HAZY ♪

RAZZ ♪
♪ THOUGH I SEEM A LITTLE HAZY ♪
♪ I AIN'T CRAZY ♪

♪ THOUGH I SEEM A LITTLE HAZY ♪
♪ I AIN'T CRAZY ♪
♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪

♪ I AIN'T CRAZY ♪
♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, JAZZ, JAZZ ♪

♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, JAZZ, JAZZ ♪
♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪

♪ JAZZ, JAZZ, JAZZ ♪
♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[TAP SHOES CLICKING]

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[TAP SHOES CLICKING]
[LAUGHS]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

COME ON, EUBIE.

♪ JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE MY FEET
A-SHUFFLIN' ♪
♪ JUST BECAUSE I ACT LIKE A

A-SHUFFLIN' ♪
♪ JUST BECAUSE I ACT LIKE A
RAZZ ♪

♪ JUST BECAUSE I ACT LIKE A
RAZZ ♪
♪ THOUGH I SEEM A LITTLE HAZY ♪

RAZZ ♪
♪ THOUGH I SEEM A LITTLE HAZY ♪
♪ I AIN'T CRAZY ♪

♪ THOUGH I SEEM A LITTLE HAZY ♪
♪ I AIN'T CRAZY ♪
♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪

♪ I AIN'T CRAZY ♪
♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, JAZZ, JAZZ ♪

♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, JAZZ, JAZZ ♪
♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪

♪ JAZZ, JAZZ, JAZZ ♪
♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]

♪ I'M JUST SIMPLY FULL OF JAZZ ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[FINALE PLAYS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
I DON'T KNOW.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
I DON'T KNOW.
[LAUGHS]

I DON'T KNOW.
[LAUGHS]
AH, THIS IS A TRIP.

[LAUGHS]
AH, THIS IS A TRIP.
COULD YOU DO, UH...

AH, THIS IS A TRIP.
COULD YOU DO, UH...
COULD YOU DO

COULD YOU DO, UH...
COULD YOU DO
"I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY"?

COULD YOU DO
"I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY"?
YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW, I WROTE

"I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY"?
YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW, I WROTE
IT IN A WALTZ FIRST, NOW, SEE?

YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW, I WROTE
IT IN A WALTZ FIRST, NOW, SEE?
NO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

IT IN A WALTZ FIRST, NOW, SEE?
NO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
OH, SURE.

NO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
OH, SURE.
HOW YOU GONNA KNOW?

OH, SURE.
HOW YOU GONNA KNOW?
YOU WEREN'T EVEN BORN.

HOW YOU GONNA KNOW?
YOU WEREN'T EVEN BORN.
OH, SORRY.

YOU WEREN'T EVEN BORN.
OH, SORRY.
WELL, WOULD YOU PLAY IT IN THE

OH, SORRY.
WELL, WOULD YOU PLAY IT IN THE
WALTZ VERSION?

WELL, WOULD YOU PLAY IT IN THE
WALTZ VERSION?
SURE, LISTEN.

WALTZ VERSION?
SURE, LISTEN.
["I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY"

SURE, LISTEN.
["I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY"
PLAYS IN WALTZ STYLE]

YOU LIKE IT?
YEAH.

LOOK OUT!
I'M GOING INTO RAGTIME NOW!
ALL RIGHT.

I'M GOING INTO RAGTIME NOW!
ALL RIGHT.
["I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY"

ALL RIGHT.
["I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY"
PLAYS IN RAGTIME STYLE]

["I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY"
PLAYS IN RAGTIME STYLE]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[PLAYS IN RAGTIME STYLE]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
ALL RIGHT!

SING IT FOR ME, PARTNER!
FROM THE TOP.
♪ I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY ♪

FROM THE TOP.
♪ I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

♪ I'M JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ AND HARRY'S WILD ABOUT ME ♪

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ AND HARRY'S WILD ABOUT ME ♪
♪ THE HEAVENLY BLISSES ♪

♪ AND HARRY'S WILD ABOUT ME ♪
♪ THE HEAVENLY BLISSES ♪
♪ OF HIS KISSES ♪

♪ THE HEAVENLY BLISSES ♪
♪ OF HIS KISSES ♪
♪ FILL ME WITH ECSTASY ♪

♪ OF HIS KISSES ♪
♪ FILL ME WITH ECSTASY ♪
♪ HE'S SWEET, JUST LIKE

♪ FILL ME WITH ECSTASY ♪
♪ HE'S SWEET, JUST LIKE
CHOCOLATE CANDY ♪

♪ HE'S SWEET, JUST LIKE
CHOCOLATE CANDY ♪
♪ AND JUST LIKE HONEY FROM A

CHOCOLATE CANDY ♪
♪ AND JUST LIKE HONEY FROM A
BEE ♪

♪ AND JUST LIKE HONEY FROM A
BEE ♪
♪ OH, I'M JUST WILD ABOUT

BEE ♪
♪ OH, I'M JUST WILD ABOUT
HARRY ♪

♪ OH, I'M JUST WILD ABOUT
HARRY ♪
♪ AND HE'S JUST WILD ABOUT ♪

HARRY ♪
♪ AND HE'S JUST WILD ABOUT ♪
♪ CANNOT DO WITHOUT ♪

♪ AND HE'S JUST WILD ABOUT ♪
♪ CANNOT DO WITHOUT ♪
BIG FINISH.

♪ CANNOT DO WITHOUT ♪
BIG FINISH.
♪ HE'S JUST WILD ABOUT ME ♪

BIG FINISH.
♪ HE'S JUST WILD ABOUT ME ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S WHAT I SAY, YEAH.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
BUT WE'LL GET TO IT LATER.
GOOD AFTERNOON.

BUT WE'LL GET TO IT LATER.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
WELCOME TO "WOMEN'S PROBLEMS."

GOOD AFTERNOON.
WELCOME TO "WOMEN'S PROBLEMS."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEVE.

WELCOME TO "WOMEN'S PROBLEMS."
I'M YOUR HOST, STEVE.
WITH ME TODAY, OUR PANEL OF

I'M YOUR HOST, STEVE.
WITH ME TODAY, OUR PANEL OF
REGULARS... BRAD...

WITH ME TODAY, OUR PANEL OF
REGULARS... BRAD...
MIKE...

REGULARS... BRAD...
MIKE...
AND CRAIG.

MIKE...
AND CRAIG.
OKAY, LET'S GET TO IT.

AND CRAIG.
OKAY, LET'S GET TO IT.
COME ON.

OKAY, LET'S GET TO IT.
COME ON.
WE GOT A LOT OF GROUND TO COVER.

COME ON.
WE GOT A LOT OF GROUND TO COVER.
YEAH.

WE GOT A LOT OF GROUND TO COVER.
YEAH.
LET'S GET TO IT!

YEAH.
LET'S GET TO IT!
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WOMEN'S

LET'S GET TO IT!
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WOMEN'S
PROBLEMS TO DISCUSS.

WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WOMEN'S
PROBLEMS TO DISCUSS.
DAMN STRAIGHT.

PROBLEMS TO DISCUSS.
DAMN STRAIGHT.
DAMN STRAIGHT!

DAMN STRAIGHT.
DAMN STRAIGHT!
YOU KNOW, LAST TIME, WE WERE

DAMN STRAIGHT!
YOU KNOW, LAST TIME, WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT PROBLEMS OF

YOU KNOW, LAST TIME, WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT PROBLEMS OF
WOMEN AND THEIR CAREERS.

TALKING ABOUT PROBLEMS OF
WOMEN AND THEIR CAREERS.
I GOT A COUPLE OF THINGS I'D

WOMEN AND THEIR CAREERS.
I GOT A COUPLE OF THINGS I'D
LIKE TO GET OFF OF MY CHEST.

I GOT A COUPLE OF THINGS I'D
LIKE TO GET OFF OF MY CHEST.
GO AHEAD, MAN.

LIKE TO GET OFF OF MY CHEST.
GO AHEAD, MAN.
ANY WOMAN WHO WANTS A CAREER,

GO AHEAD, MAN.
ANY WOMAN WHO WANTS A CAREER,
SHE'S GOT TWO PROBLEMS...

ANY WOMAN WHO WANTS A CAREER,
SHE'S GOT TWO PROBLEMS...
ONE, HER CAREER.

SHE'S GOT TWO PROBLEMS...
ONE, HER CAREER.
MM-HMM.

ONE, HER CAREER.
MM-HMM.
[LAUGHS]

MM-HMM.
[LAUGHS]
TWO, THIS BABY THING.

[LAUGHS]
TWO, THIS BABY THING.
MM-MNH-MNH.

TWO, THIS BABY THING.
MM-MNH-MNH.
I DON'T CARE WHO SHE IS, WHAT

MM-MNH-MNH.
I DON'T CARE WHO SHE IS, WHAT
SHE SAYS.

I DON'T CARE WHO SHE IS, WHAT
SHE SAYS.
RIGHT.

SHE SAYS.
RIGHT.
THERE ISN'T A BROAD ALIVE WHO

RIGHT.
THERE ISN'T A BROAD ALIVE WHO
DOESN'T FEEL UNFULFILLED IF SHE

THERE ISN'T A BROAD ALIVE WHO
DOESN'T FEEL UNFULFILLED IF SHE
DOESN'T HAVE A BABY.

DOESN'T FEEL UNFULFILLED IF SHE
DOESN'T HAVE A BABY.
DAMN STRAIGHT!

DOESN'T HAVE A BABY.
DAMN STRAIGHT!
DAMN STRAIGHT ON THAT!

DAMN STRAIGHT!
DAMN STRAIGHT ON THAT!
YEAH.

DAMN STRAIGHT ON THAT!
YEAH.
IF THEY COULD JUST MAKE A

YEAH.
IF THEY COULD JUST MAKE A
DECISION AND STICK TO IT.

IF THEY COULD JUST MAKE A
DECISION AND STICK TO IT.
THERE YOU GO.

DECISION AND STICK TO IT.
THERE YOU GO.
IS THAT RIGHT?

THERE YOU GO.
IS THAT RIGHT?
THEN MAKE UP THEIR MINDS.

IS THAT RIGHT?
THEN MAKE UP THEIR MINDS.
RIGHT.

THEN MAKE UP THEIR MINDS.
RIGHT.
GOD!

RIGHT.
GOD!
EXACTLY, CRAIG.

GOD!
EXACTLY, CRAIG.
YOU GET TIRED OF HEARING IT,

EXACTLY, CRAIG.
YOU GET TIRED OF HEARING IT,
MAN?

YOU GET TIRED OF HEARING IT,
MAN?
OH, HO HO!

MAN?
OH, HO HO!
I THINK I MAY WANT A KID WHEN

OH, HO HO!
I THINK I MAY WANT A KID WHEN
I'M 40, LATE 40s, SOMETHING LIKE

I THINK I MAY WANT A KID WHEN
I'M 40, LATE 40s, SOMETHING LIKE
THAT.

I'M 40, LATE 40s, SOMETHING LIKE
THAT.
YEAH.

THAT.
YEAH.
IF THAT HAPPENS, I'LL DIVORCE

YEAH.
IF THAT HAPPENS, I'LL DIVORCE
MY WIFE, MARRY A GIRL IN HER

IF THAT HAPPENS, I'LL DIVORCE
MY WIFE, MARRY A GIRL IN HER
20s.

MY WIFE, MARRY A GIRL IN HER
20s.
RIGHT ON!

20s.
RIGHT ON!
I'LL TAKE THAT CHANCE.

RIGHT ON!
I'LL TAKE THAT CHANCE.
THAT'S LIFE. THAT'S LIFE.

I'LL TAKE THAT CHANCE.
THAT'S LIFE. THAT'S LIFE.
I WOULD DO IT, TOO.

THAT'S LIFE. THAT'S LIFE.
I WOULD DO IT, TOO.
BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA HEAR

I WOULD DO IT, TOO.
BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA HEAR
ME WHINING ABOUT IT ALL THE

BUT YOU'RE NOT GONNA HEAR
ME WHINING ABOUT IT ALL THE
TIME.

ME WHINING ABOUT IT ALL THE
TIME.
WELL, NOW, THAT BRINGS UP

TIME.
WELL, NOW, THAT BRINGS UP
ANOTHER TERRIBLE WOMEN'S

WELL, NOW, THAT BRINGS UP
ANOTHER TERRIBLE WOMEN'S
PROBLEM... WHINING.

ANOTHER TERRIBLE WOMEN'S
PROBLEM... WHINING.
THAT IS A PROBLEM WOMEN HAVE.

PROBLEM... WHINING.
THAT IS A PROBLEM WOMEN HAVE.
WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

THAT IS A PROBLEM WOMEN HAVE.
WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
WAIT A MINUTE.
I THINK... I THINK YOU GUYS ARE

WAIT A MINUTE.
I THINK... I THINK YOU GUYS ARE
MISSING THE POINT, THOUGH, MAN.

I THINK... I THINK YOU GUYS ARE
MISSING THE POINT, THOUGH, MAN.
NOW, SEE, IF A WOMAN STEPS OUT

MISSING THE POINT, THOUGH, MAN.
NOW, SEE, IF A WOMAN STEPS OUT
OF LINE, MAN, SEE, SHE'S ASKING

NOW, SEE, IF A WOMAN STEPS OUT
OF LINE, MAN, SEE, SHE'S ASKING
HER MAN TO SHOW THAT HE CARES BY

OF LINE, MAN, SEE, SHE'S ASKING
HER MAN TO SHOW THAT HE CARES BY
SLAPPING HER AROUND A LITTLE

HER MAN TO SHOW THAT HE CARES BY
SLAPPING HER AROUND A LITTLE
BIT!

SLAPPING HER AROUND A LITTLE
BIT!
AMEN!

BIT!
AMEN!
NOW, IF ONE OF MY WOMEN GIVES

AMEN!
NOW, IF ONE OF MY WOMEN GIVES
ME TROUBLE, I WILL WHAP HER ON

NOW, IF ONE OF MY WOMEN GIVES
ME TROUBLE, I WILL WHAP HER ON
THE BUTT WITH A CAR ANTENNA TILL

ME TROUBLE, I WILL WHAP HER ON
THE BUTT WITH A CAR ANTENNA TILL
SHE SAYS SHE'S SORRY.

THE BUTT WITH A CAR ANTENNA TILL
SHE SAYS SHE'S SORRY.
HUH?

SHE SAYS SHE'S SORRY.
HUH?
WELL, IT'S A DIFFERENT

HUH?
WELL, IT'S A DIFFERENT
SYSTEM, MIKE.

WELL, IT'S A DIFFERENT
SYSTEM, MIKE.
I MEAN, SOMETIMES A MAN CAN GAIN

SYSTEM, MIKE.
I MEAN, SOMETIMES A MAN CAN GAIN
MORE GROUND BY TRYING TO

I MEAN, SOMETIMES A MAN CAN GAIN
MORE GROUND BY TRYING TO
UNDERSTAND, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER

MORE GROUND BY TRYING TO
UNDERSTAND, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER
PARTICULAR PROBLEMS THAT

UNDERSTAND, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER
PARTICULAR PROBLEMS THAT
PARTICULAR BROAD MIGHT HAVE.

PARTICULAR PROBLEMS THAT
PARTICULAR BROAD MIGHT HAVE.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

PARTICULAR BROAD MIGHT HAVE.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
AND, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, ONE OF

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
AND, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, ONE OF
THE BIGGEST WOMEN'S PROBLEMS

AND, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, ONE OF
THE BIGGEST WOMEN'S PROBLEMS
THAT WE HAVEN'T TOUCHED ON, IS

THE BIGGEST WOMEN'S PROBLEMS
THAT WE HAVEN'T TOUCHED ON, IS
THE FACT THAT, WHEN THEY GET

THAT WE HAVEN'T TOUCHED ON, IS
THE FACT THAT, WHEN THEY GET
OLD, MAN, THEY GET UGLY!

THE FACT THAT, WHEN THEY GET
OLD, MAN, THEY GET UGLY!
WHOO!

OLD, MAN, THEY GET UGLY!
WHOO!
OH!

WHOO!
OH!
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND

OH!
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND
HER NO MORE AFTER THAT, YOU

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND
HER NO MORE AFTER THAT, YOU
KNOW?

HER NO MORE AFTER THAT, YOU
KNOW?
THAT'S A PROBLEM.

KNOW?
THAT'S A PROBLEM.
THAT'S A PROBLEM.

THAT'S A PROBLEM.
THAT'S A PROBLEM.
RIGHT ON.

THAT'S A PROBLEM.
RIGHT ON.
RIGHT.

RIGHT ON.
RIGHT.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT... WHAT

RIGHT.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT... WHAT
ABOUT "MENESTRATION"?

WELL, WHAT ABOUT... WHAT
ABOUT "MENESTRATION"?
YEAH.

ABOUT "MENESTRATION"?
YEAH.
NOW, THERE'S A SERIOUS

YEAH.
NOW, THERE'S A SERIOUS
PROBLEM.

NOW, THERE'S A SERIOUS
PROBLEM.
YEAH.

PROBLEM.
YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU

YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU
CLOWNS, BUT WHEN MY WIFE'S THAT

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU
CLOWNS, BUT WHEN MY WIFE'S THAT
WAY, I DON'T GO HOME.

CLOWNS, BUT WHEN MY WIFE'S THAT
WAY, I DON'T GO HOME.
I GO TO A HOLIDAY INN OR A

WAY, I DON'T GO HOME.
I GO TO A HOLIDAY INN OR A
QUALITY 6, AND I ASK HER TO CALL

I GO TO A HOLIDAY INN OR A
QUALITY 6, AND I ASK HER TO CALL
ME WHEN IT'S OVER.

QUALITY 6, AND I ASK HER TO CALL
ME WHEN IT'S OVER.
AND THAT WAY, I MISS A LOT OF

ME WHEN IT'S OVER.
AND THAT WAY, I MISS A LOT OF
PAIN.

AND THAT WAY, I MISS A LOT OF
PAIN.
I AGREE. I AGREE.

PAIN.
I AGREE. I AGREE.
WOMEN IN TODAY'S WORLD ARE

I AGREE. I AGREE.
WOMEN IN TODAY'S WORLD ARE
FACED WITH A LOT OF SERIOUS

WOMEN IN TODAY'S WORLD ARE
FACED WITH A LOT OF SERIOUS
PROBLEMS, YOU KNOW?

FACED WITH A LOT OF SERIOUS
PROBLEMS, YOU KNOW?
WE CAN'T, OF COURSE, DISCUSS

PROBLEMS, YOU KNOW?
WE CAN'T, OF COURSE, DISCUSS
EVERY ONE OF THEM TODAY, BUT

WE CAN'T, OF COURSE, DISCUSS
EVERY ONE OF THEM TODAY, BUT
WE'RE GONNA TRY TO IN THE WEEKS

EVERY ONE OF THEM TODAY, BUT
WE'RE GONNA TRY TO IN THE WEEKS
AHEAD.

WE'RE GONNA TRY TO IN THE WEEKS
AHEAD.
RIGHT NOW LET'S GO UP TO THE

AHEAD.
RIGHT NOW LET'S GO UP TO THE
DOCK.

RIGHT NOW LET'S GO UP TO THE
DOCK.
WE GOT A FEW GUYS UP THERE WITH

DOCK.
WE GOT A FEW GUYS UP THERE WITH
SOME QUESTIONS.

WE GOT A FEW GUYS UP THERE WITH
SOME QUESTIONS.
UH, SIR, YOU GOT A QUESTION?

SOME QUESTIONS.
UH, SIR, YOU GOT A QUESTION?
UH, YEAH.

UH, SIR, YOU GOT A QUESTION?
UH, YEAH.
STEVE, I'M VIC, AND I HAVE A

UH, YEAH.
STEVE, I'M VIC, AND I HAVE A
QUESTION ABOUT A WOMAN'S

STEVE, I'M VIC, AND I HAVE A
QUESTION ABOUT A WOMAN'S
PROBLEM, WHICH IS THAT,

QUESTION ABOUT A WOMAN'S
PROBLEM, WHICH IS THAT,
APPARENTLY, NONE OF THEM ARE

PROBLEM, WHICH IS THAT,
APPARENTLY, NONE OF THEM ARE
ABLE TO CLIMAX.

APPARENTLY, NONE OF THEM ARE
ABLE TO CLIMAX.
WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT THAT?

ABLE TO CLIMAX.
WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT THAT?
UH, OKAY, ANY OF YOU GUYS

WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT THAT?
UH, OKAY, ANY OF YOU GUYS
WANT TO TACKLE VIC'S QUESTION?

UH, OKAY, ANY OF YOU GUYS
WANT TO TACKLE VIC'S QUESTION?
I'LL TACKLE VIC'S QUESTION.

WANT TO TACKLE VIC'S QUESTION?
I'LL TACKLE VIC'S QUESTION.
HELLO, VIC. WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

I'LL TACKLE VIC'S QUESTION.
HELLO, VIC. WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHERE THE HOT

HELLO, VIC. WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHERE THE HOT
BONE IS LOCATED.

IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHERE THE HOT
BONE IS LOCATED.
IT'S EITHER GONNA HAPPEN, OR

BONE IS LOCATED.
IT'S EITHER GONNA HAPPEN, OR
IT'S NOT, SO DON'T WORRY.

IT'S EITHER GONNA HAPPEN, OR
IT'S NOT, SO DON'T WORRY.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT

IT'S NOT, SO DON'T WORRY.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT
IT.

THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT
IT.
YEAH, THAT'S FOR SURE.

IT.
YEAH, THAT'S FOR SURE.
NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.

YEAH, THAT'S FOR SURE.
NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
IT'S OVER.

NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
IT'S OVER.
THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S OVER.
THAT'S RIGHT.
OKAY.

THAT'S RIGHT.
OKAY.
DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?

OKAY.
DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?
YEAH, THANKS.

DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?
YEAH, THANKS.
LOOK FOR THAT HOT BONE!

YEAH, THANKS.
LOOK FOR THAT HOT BONE!
THANKS, VIC.

LOOK FOR THAT HOT BONE!
THANKS, VIC.
OKAY, NEXT GUY.

THANKS, VIC.
OKAY, NEXT GUY.
YOU GOT A QUESTION, SIR?

OKAY, NEXT GUY.
YOU GOT A QUESTION, SIR?
YEAH, STEVE, MY NAME'S CLINT.

YOU GOT A QUESTION, SIR?
YEAH, STEVE, MY NAME'S CLINT.
OKAY.

YEAH, STEVE, MY NAME'S CLINT.
OKAY.
I JUST GOT TO SAY THAT YOU

OKAY.
I JUST GOT TO SAY THAT YOU
GUYS ARE THE ONLY SHOW ON TV

I JUST GOT TO SAY THAT YOU
GUYS ARE THE ONLY SHOW ON TV
THAT HAS THE GUTS TO OPENLY

GUYS ARE THE ONLY SHOW ON TV
THAT HAS THE GUTS TO OPENLY
DISCUSS WOMEN'S PROBLEMS, AND I

THAT HAS THE GUTS TO OPENLY
DISCUSS WOMEN'S PROBLEMS, AND I
THINK THAT'S GREAT FOR A LOT OF

DISCUSS WOMEN'S PROBLEMS, AND I
THINK THAT'S GREAT FOR A LOT OF
GUYS, AND WE'RE GRATEFUL.

THINK THAT'S GREAT FOR A LOT OF
GUYS, AND WE'RE GRATEFUL.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

GUYS, AND WE'RE GRATEFUL.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU!
WELL, THANKS A LOT.

THANK YOU!
WELL, THANKS A LOT.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE TRYING THE BEST

WELL, THANKS A LOT.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE TRYING THE BEST
WE CAN, CLINT.

YOU KNOW, WE'RE TRYING THE BEST
WE CAN, CLINT.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

WE CAN, CLINT.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
MY QUESTION IS... WHAT PART

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
MY QUESTION IS... WHAT PART
OF A WOMAN'S BODY DO YOU LIKE

MY QUESTION IS... WHAT PART
OF A WOMAN'S BODY DO YOU LIKE
BEST?

OF A WOMAN'S BODY DO YOU LIKE
BEST?
[LAUGHS]

BEST?
[LAUGHS]
OKAY, THAT'S EASY FOR ME.

[LAUGHS]
OKAY, THAT'S EASY FOR ME.
I GO FOR A WOMAN'S BREASTS.

OKAY, THAT'S EASY FOR ME.
I GO FOR A WOMAN'S BREASTS.
I'M A BREAST MAN.

I GO FOR A WOMAN'S BREASTS.
I'M A BREAST MAN.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, BRAD?

I'M A BREAST MAN.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, BRAD?
YEAH, PUT ME DOWN FOR BIG

WHAT ABOUT YOU, BRAD?
YEAH, PUT ME DOWN FOR BIG
BREASTS.

YEAH, PUT ME DOWN FOR BIG
BREASTS.
CRAIG?

BREASTS.
CRAIG?
BREASTS, HUMONGOUS BREASTS!

CRAIG?
BREASTS, HUMONGOUS BREASTS!
OKAY. MIKE?

BREASTS, HUMONGOUS BREASTS!
OKAY. MIKE?
UH, I LIKE A WOMAN WITH A BIG

OKAY. MIKE?
UH, I LIKE A WOMAN WITH A BIG
BUTT.

UH, I LIKE A WOMAN WITH A BIG
BUTT.
YOU KNOW, SOMETHING YOU CAN HANG

BUTT.
YOU KNOW, SOMETHING YOU CAN HANG
ONTO AND HIT WITH A CAR ANTENNA.

YOU KNOW, SOMETHING YOU CAN HANG
ONTO AND HIT WITH A CAR ANTENNA.
ALL RIGHT, FAIR ENOUGH.

ONTO AND HIT WITH A CAR ANTENNA.
ALL RIGHT, FAIR ENOUGH.
GUYS, THIS IS NOT STRICTLY A

ALL RIGHT, FAIR ENOUGH.
GUYS, THIS IS NOT STRICTLY A
WOMAN'S PROBLEM, BUT I THINK WE

GUYS, THIS IS NOT STRICTLY A
WOMAN'S PROBLEM, BUT I THINK WE
CAN... YOU KNOW, I HOPE WE CAN

WOMAN'S PROBLEM, BUT I THINK WE
CAN... YOU KNOW, I HOPE WE CAN
TALK ABOUT IT A LITTLE BIT

CAN... YOU KNOW, I HOPE WE CAN
TALK ABOUT IT A LITTLE BIT
TODAY.

TALK ABOUT IT A LITTLE BIT
TODAY.
I'D LIKE TO TALK A BIT ABOUT

TODAY.
I'D LIKE TO TALK A BIT ABOUT
WHICH TV ACTRESSES WE'D ALL LIKE

I'D LIKE TO TALK A BIT ABOUT
WHICH TV ACTRESSES WE'D ALL LIKE
TO SLEEP WITH.

WHICH TV ACTRESSES WE'D ALL LIKE
TO SLEEP WITH.
ADRIENNE BARBEAU!

TO SLEEP WITH.
ADRIENNE BARBEAU!
ADRIENNE BARBEAU!

ADRIENNE BARBEAU!
ADRIENNE BARBEAU!
WONDER WOMAN!

ADRIENNE BARBEAU!
WONDER WOMAN!
SHE'S GOOD, BUT

WONDER WOMAN!
SHE'S GOOD, BUT
ADRIENNE BARBEAU.

SHE'S GOOD, BUT
ADRIENNE BARBEAU.
ANY ONE OF THE ANGELS, I

ADRIENNE BARBEAU.
ANY ONE OF THE ANGELS, I
THINK.

ANY ONE OF THE ANGELS, I
THINK.
OKAY.

THINK.
OKAY.
WONDER WOMAN IS 6'4".

OKAY.
WONDER WOMAN IS 6'4".
I THINK WE'RE OUT OF TIME

WONDER WOMAN IS 6'4".
I THINK WE'RE OUT OF TIME
NOW, SO FROM ALL OF US HERE AT

I THINK WE'RE OUT OF TIME
NOW, SO FROM ALL OF US HERE AT
"WOMEN'S PROBLEMS," TAKE CARE.

NOW, SO FROM ALL OF US HERE AT
"WOMEN'S PROBLEMS," TAKE CARE.
REMEMBER... MAYBE, IF WE ALL

"WOMEN'S PROBLEMS," TAKE CARE.
REMEMBER... MAYBE, IF WE ALL
WORK TOGETHER, SOMEDAY THERE

REMEMBER... MAYBE, IF WE ALL
WORK TOGETHER, SOMEDAY THERE
WON'T BE A NEED FOR A SHOW LIKE

WORK TOGETHER, SOMEDAY THERE
WON'T BE A NEED FOR A SHOW LIKE
THIS.

WON'T BE A NEED FOR A SHOW LIKE
THIS.
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

THIS.
WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
WHAT ABOUT ANGIE DICKINSON?

WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.
WHAT ABOUT ANGIE DICKINSON?
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

AIRPLANES MATE IN MIDAIR.
THIS STORY AND MORE COMING UP ON
"WEEKEND UPDATE."

THIS STORY AND MORE COMING UP ON
"WEEKEND UPDATE."
Announcer: AND NOW

"WEEKEND UPDATE."
Announcer: AND NOW
"WEEKEND UPDATE," WITH THE

Announcer: AND NOW
"WEEKEND UPDATE," WITH THE
"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.

"WEEKEND UPDATE," WITH THE
"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY CHAIRMAN MEOW,

"WEEKEND UPDATE" NEWS TEAM.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY CHAIRMAN MEOW,
THE CHINESE FOOD FOR CATS.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY CHAIRMAN MEOW,
THE CHINESE FOOD FOR CATS.
HERE ARE ANCHORPERSONS

THE CHINESE FOOD FOR CATS.
HERE ARE ANCHORPERSONS
JANE CURTIN AND BILL MURRAY.

HERE ARE ANCHORPERSONS
JANE CURTIN AND BILL MURRAY.
GOOD EVENING.

JANE CURTIN AND BILL MURRAY.
GOOD EVENING.
I'M JANE CURTIN.

GOOD EVENING.
I'M JANE CURTIN.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...

I'M JANE CURTIN.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
PRESIDENT CARTER HAS ARRIVED IN

OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
PRESIDENT CARTER HAS ARRIVED IN
JERUSALEM FOR THE FINAL PHASE OF

PRESIDENT CARTER HAS ARRIVED IN
JERUSALEM FOR THE FINAL PHASE OF
HIS MID-EAST PEACE MISSION.

JERUSALEM FOR THE FINAL PHASE OF
HIS MID-EAST PEACE MISSION.
REPORTEDLY, CARTER'S IMAGE

HIS MID-EAST PEACE MISSION.
REPORTEDLY, CARTER'S IMAGE
MAKER, GERALD RAFSHOON, STATED

REPORTEDLY, CARTER'S IMAGE
MAKER, GERALD RAFSHOON, STATED
TONIGHT, "THIS IS THE PRECARIOUS

MAKER, GERALD RAFSHOON, STATED
TONIGHT, "THIS IS THE PRECARIOUS
CULMINATION OF MONTHS OF

TONIGHT, "THIS IS THE PRECARIOUS
CULMINATION OF MONTHS OF
DEDICATED EFFORT, MODERATING,

CULMINATION OF MONTHS OF
DEDICATED EFFORT, MODERATING,
REFEREEING, COMPROMISING,

DEDICATED EFFORT, MODERATING,
REFEREEING, COMPROMISING,
CODDLING, PROPOSING, TRAVELING,

REFEREEING, COMPROMISING,
CODDLING, PROPOSING, TRAVELING,
SOMETIMES ANGUISHED AND OFTEN

CODDLING, PROPOSING, TRAVELING,
SOMETIMES ANGUISHED AND OFTEN
HEARTBREAKING BUT ALWAYS HOPEFUL

SOMETIMES ANGUISHED AND OFTEN
HEARTBREAKING BUT ALWAYS HOPEFUL
WORK.

HEARTBREAKING BUT ALWAYS HOPEFUL
WORK.
IF THIS DOESN'T GET THAT CRACKER

WORK.
IF THIS DOESN'T GET THAT CRACKER
CLOWN RE-ELECTED, I DON'T KNOW

IF THIS DOESN'T GET THAT CRACKER
CLOWN RE-ELECTED, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE HELL WILL."

CLOWN RE-ELECTED, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THE HELL WILL."
THE ISRAELI NATIONAL RADIO

WHAT THE HELL WILL."
THE ISRAELI NATIONAL RADIO
REPORTS TODAY THAT AN ARAB

THE ISRAELI NATIONAL RADIO
REPORTS TODAY THAT AN ARAB
COUPLE ON THE WEST BANK NAMED

REPORTS TODAY THAT AN ARAB
COUPLE ON THE WEST BANK NAMED
THEIR NEWBORN BABY "CARTER" IN

COUPLE ON THE WEST BANK NAMED
THEIR NEWBORN BABY "CARTER" IN
HONOR OF THE PRESIDENT'S VISIT.

THEIR NEWBORN BABY "CARTER" IN
HONOR OF THE PRESIDENT'S VISIT.
THE REPORT ADDED THAT WHEN

HONOR OF THE PRESIDENT'S VISIT.
THE REPORT ADDED THAT WHEN
FORMER PRESIDENT FORD VISITED

THE REPORT ADDED THAT WHEN
FORMER PRESIDENT FORD VISITED
ISRAEL LAST MONTH, A YOUNG WOMAN

FORMER PRESIDENT FORD VISITED
ISRAEL LAST MONTH, A YOUNG WOMAN
IN TEL AVIV HAD A FALSE

ISRAEL LAST MONTH, A YOUNG WOMAN
IN TEL AVIV HAD A FALSE
PREGNANCY AND NAMED IT "GERRY."

IN TEL AVIV HAD A FALSE
PREGNANCY AND NAMED IT "GERRY."
THE VOYAGER 1 SPACECRAFT HAS

PREGNANCY AND NAMED IT "GERRY."
THE VOYAGER 1 SPACECRAFT HAS
SENT BACK PHOTOGRAPHS SHOWING

THE VOYAGER 1 SPACECRAFT HAS
SENT BACK PHOTOGRAPHS SHOWING
THAT THE PLANET JUPITER IS

SENT BACK PHOTOGRAPHS SHOWING
THAT THE PLANET JUPITER IS
SURROUNDED BY A RING, A FACT NOT

THAT THE PLANET JUPITER IS
SURROUNDED BY A RING, A FACT NOT
HERETOFORE KNOWN.

SURROUNDED BY A RING, A FACT NOT
HERETOFORE KNOWN.
NASA SCIENTISTS WERE ASTOUNDED

HERETOFORE KNOWN.
NASA SCIENTISTS WERE ASTOUNDED
AND WENT TO WORK TRYING TO COME

NASA SCIENTISTS WERE ASTOUNDED
AND WENT TO WORK TRYING TO COME
UP WITH A THEORY EXPLAINING THE

AND WENT TO WORK TRYING TO COME
UP WITH A THEORY EXPLAINING THE
PHENOMENON.

UP WITH A THEORY EXPLAINING THE
PHENOMENON.
TODAY, AFTER PAINSTAKING

PHENOMENON.
TODAY, AFTER PAINSTAKING
ANALYSIS AND EVALUATION OF THE

TODAY, AFTER PAINSTAKING
ANALYSIS AND EVALUATION OF THE
DATA, A NASA SPOKESMAN REPORTS

ANALYSIS AND EVALUATION OF THE
DATA, A NASA SPOKESMAN REPORTS
THAT GOD WAS PLAYING WITH A

DATA, A NASA SPOKESMAN REPORTS
THAT GOD WAS PLAYING WITH A
BASKETBALL, AND IT GOT STUCK IN

THAT GOD WAS PLAYING WITH A
BASKETBALL, AND IT GOT STUCK IN
THE HOOP.

BASKETBALL, AND IT GOT STUCK IN
THE HOOP.
MORE ON THAT GAME AS IT

THE HOOP.
MORE ON THAT GAME AS IT
DEVELOPS.

MORE ON THAT GAME AS IT
DEVELOPS.
HUNTING SEASON OPENED TODAY IN

DEVELOPS.
HUNTING SEASON OPENED TODAY IN
CANADA, AND HUNTERS WERE OUT IN

HUNTING SEASON OPENED TODAY IN
CANADA, AND HUNTERS WERE OUT IN
FORCE ON THE ICE, SMASHING THE

CANADA, AND HUNTERS WERE OUT IN
FORCE ON THE ICE, SMASHING THE
HEADS OF THE CUTE, FLUFFY, WHITE

FORCE ON THE ICE, SMASHING THE
HEADS OF THE CUTE, FLUFFY, WHITE
BABY HARP SEALS, STAINING THE

HEADS OF THE CUTE, FLUFFY, WHITE
BABY HARP SEALS, STAINING THE
SNOW WITH BLOOD AND FILLING THE

BABY HARP SEALS, STAINING THE
SNOW WITH BLOOD AND FILLING THE
AIR WITH THE SCREAMS OF THE

SNOW WITH BLOOD AND FILLING THE
AIR WITH THE SCREAMS OF THE
LITTLE ANIMALS AND THEIR

AIR WITH THE SCREAMS OF THE
LITTLE ANIMALS AND THEIR
MOTHERS.

LITTLE ANIMALS AND THEIR
MOTHERS.
THIS STORY IS MARRED BY A SAD

MOTHERS.
THIS STORY IS MARRED BY A SAD
NOTE.

THIS STORY IS MARRED BY A SAD
NOTE.
SEVERAL OF THE SEAL HUNTERS

NOTE.
SEVERAL OF THE SEAL HUNTERS
SLIPPED ON THE ICE AND SUFFERED

SEVERAL OF THE SEAL HUNTERS
SLIPPED ON THE ICE AND SUFFERED
FRACTURES AND FROSTBITE.

SLIPPED ON THE ICE AND SUFFERED
FRACTURES AND FROSTBITE.
GET WELL SOON, FELLAS.

FRACTURES AND FROSTBITE.
GET WELL SOON, FELLAS.
BILL?

GET WELL SOON, FELLAS.
BILL?
AN NBC NEWS POLL SHOWS THAT

BILL?
AN NBC NEWS POLL SHOWS THAT
ALMOST EIGHT TIMES AS MANY

AN NBC NEWS POLL SHOWS THAT
ALMOST EIGHT TIMES AS MANY
AMERICANS KNOW THAT IF YOU PUT A

ALMOST EIGHT TIMES AS MANY
AMERICANS KNOW THAT IF YOU PUT A
SLEEPING PERSON'S HAND IN

AMERICANS KNOW THAT IF YOU PUT A
SLEEPING PERSON'S HAND IN
LUKEWARM WATER HE WILL WET HIS

SLEEPING PERSON'S HAND IN
LUKEWARM WATER HE WILL WET HIS
BED AS KNOW WHICH SIDE WE'RE ON

LUKEWARM WATER HE WILL WET HIS
BED AS KNOW WHICH SIDE WE'RE ON
IN THE NORTH YEMEN/SOUTH YEMEN

BED AS KNOW WHICH SIDE WE'RE ON
IN THE NORTH YEMEN/SOUTH YEMEN
CONFLICT.

IN THE NORTH YEMEN/SOUTH YEMEN
CONFLICT.
AN INTERESTING NOTE... LAST

CONFLICT.
AN INTERESTING NOTE... LAST
WEEK, WE INADVERTENTLY

AN INTERESTING NOTE... LAST
WEEK, WE INADVERTENTLY
MISSPELLED "PHILADELPHIA" ON

WEEK, WE INADVERTENTLY
MISSPELLED "PHILADELPHIA" ON
THIS CLOCK, AND SOMEHOW WE

MISSPELLED "PHILADELPHIA" ON
THIS CLOCK, AND SOMEHOW WE
DIDN'T REALIZE IT, BUT 160

THIS CLOCK, AND SOMEHOW WE
DIDN'T REALIZE IT, BUT 160
PEOPLE FROM PHILLY DID AND

DIDN'T REALIZE IT, BUT 160
PEOPLE FROM PHILLY DID AND
CALLED IN TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT.

PEOPLE FROM PHILLY DID AND
CALLED IN TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT.
WELL, TO YOU 160 CALLERS, WE

CALLED IN TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT.
WELL, TO YOU 160 CALLERS, WE
JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT

WELL, TO YOU 160 CALLERS, WE
JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT
OVER 12,000 PEOPLE FROM YOUR

JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT
OVER 12,000 PEOPLE FROM YOUR
CITY CALLED TO SAY THAT THEY

OVER 12,000 PEOPLE FROM YOUR
CITY CALLED TO SAY THAT THEY
LIKED THE NEW SPELLING BETTER

CITY CALLED TO SAY THAT THEY
LIKED THE NEW SPELLING BETTER
THAN THE OLD ONE, SO NICE TO

LIKED THE NEW SPELLING BETTER
THAN THE OLD ONE, SO NICE TO
HAVE YOU WITH YOU, ALL YOU

THAN THE OLD ONE, SO NICE TO
HAVE YOU WITH YOU, ALL YOU
PEOPLE FROM "PHILADELPIA."

HAVE YOU WITH YOU, ALL YOU
PEOPLE FROM "PHILADELPIA."
OH, JANE, BY THE WAY, YOU LEFT

PEOPLE FROM "PHILADELPIA."
OH, JANE, BY THE WAY, YOU LEFT
THESE EARRINGS IN MY APARTMENT.

OH, JANE, BY THE WAY, YOU LEFT
THESE EARRINGS IN MY APARTMENT.
OH.

THESE EARRINGS IN MY APARTMENT.
OH.
UNDER THE PILLOW.

OH.
UNDER THE PILLOW.
LARAINE FOUND THEM.

UNDER THE PILLOW.
LARAINE FOUND THEM.
WELL, THE MUDSLINGING HAS

LARAINE FOUND THEM.
WELL, THE MUDSLINGING HAS
ALREADY BEGUN FOR THE 1980

WELL, THE MUDSLINGING HAS
ALREADY BEGUN FOR THE 1980
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

ALREADY BEGUN FOR THE 1980
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.
IN AN AN ARTICLE IN THE

PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.
IN AN AN ARTICLE IN THE
MANCHESTER, NEW HAMPSHIRE,

IN AN AN ARTICLE IN THE
MANCHESTER, NEW HAMPSHIRE,
UNION LEADER, REPUBLICAN

MANCHESTER, NEW HAMPSHIRE,
UNION LEADER, REPUBLICAN
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

UNION LEADER, REPUBLICAN
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
PHILIP CRANE IS PORTRAYED AS A

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
PHILIP CRANE IS PORTRAYED AS A
PROMISCUOUS LADIES' MAN WHOSE

PHILIP CRANE IS PORTRAYED AS A
PROMISCUOUS LADIES' MAN WHOSE
GOAL IS TO HAVE SEX WITH 1,000

PROMISCUOUS LADIES' MAN WHOSE
GOAL IS TO HAVE SEX WITH 1,000
WOMEN.

GOAL IS TO HAVE SEX WITH 1,000
WOMEN.
AN ANGRY CRANE CALLED THE STORY

WOMEN.
AN ANGRY CRANE CALLED THE STORY
A MALICIOUS LIE PLANTED BY A

AN ANGRY CRANE CALLED THE STORY
A MALICIOUS LIE PLANTED BY A
CAMPAIGN WORKER FOR

A MALICIOUS LIE PLANTED BY A
CAMPAIGN WORKER FOR
RONALD REAGAN.

CAMPAIGN WORKER FOR
RONALD REAGAN.
MEANWHILE, "WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS

RONALD REAGAN.
MEANWHILE, "WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS
DISCOVERED FROM AN UNRELIABLE

MEANWHILE, "WEEKEND UPDATE" HAS
DISCOVERED FROM AN UNRELIABLE
SOURCE THAT REAGAN HAS HAD SEX

DISCOVERED FROM AN UNRELIABLE
SOURCE THAT REAGAN HAS HAD SEX
WITH OVER 1,000 MEN.

SOURCE THAT REAGAN HAS HAD SEX
WITH OVER 1,000 MEN.
IN MILWAUKEE, FEDERAL JUDGE

WITH OVER 1,000 MEN.
IN MILWAUKEE, FEDERAL JUDGE
ROBERT WARREN ISSUED A

IN MILWAUKEE, FEDERAL JUDGE
ROBERT WARREN ISSUED A
RESTRAINING ORDER TO KEEP

ROBERT WARREN ISSUED A
RESTRAINING ORDER TO KEEP
PROGRESSIVE MAGAZINE FROM

RESTRAINING ORDER TO KEEP
PROGRESSIVE MAGAZINE FROM
PUBLISHING THE SECRETS OF THE

PROGRESSIVE MAGAZINE FROM
PUBLISHING THE SECRETS OF THE
"H" -BOMB IN ITS APRIL ISSUE.

PUBLISHING THE SECRETS OF THE
"H"-BOMB IN ITS APRIL ISSUE.
JUDGE WARREN SAID, "I WANT TO

"H"-BOMB IN ITS APRIL ISSUE.
JUDGE WARREN SAID, "I WANT TO
THINK A LONG, HARD TIME BEFORE I

JUDGE WARREN SAID, "I WANT TO
THINK A LONG, HARD TIME BEFORE I
GIVE A HYDROGEN BOMB TO

THINK A LONG, HARD TIME BEFORE I
GIVE A HYDROGEN BOMB TO
IDI AMIN.

GIVE A HYDROGEN BOMB TO
IDI AMIN.
MEANWHILE, AS TANZANIAN TROOPS

IDI AMIN.
MEANWHILE, AS TANZANIAN TROOPS
MARCHED ON HIS CAPITAL IN

MEANWHILE, AS TANZANIAN TROOPS
MARCHED ON HIS CAPITAL IN
UGANDA, IDI AMIN RENEWED HIS

MARCHED ON HIS CAPITAL IN
UGANDA, IDI AMIN RENEWED HIS
SUBSCRIPTION TO THE PROGRESSIVE

UGANDA, IDI AMIN RENEWED HIS
SUBSCRIPTION TO THE PROGRESSIVE
AND HOPED FOR THE BEST.

SUBSCRIPTION TO THE PROGRESSIVE
AND HOPED FOR THE BEST.
USING STRONG LANGUAGE, TOTING

AND HOPED FOR THE BEST.
USING STRONG LANGUAGE, TOTING
10-GALLON HATS, AND SMOKING

USING STRONG LANGUAGE, TOTING
10-GALLON HATS, AND SMOKING
CIGARS, A GROUP OF FREEWHEELING

10-GALLON HATS, AND SMOKING
CIGARS, A GROUP OF FREEWHEELING
MOLES WENT ON A RAMPAGE AFTER A

CIGARS, A GROUP OF FREEWHEELING
MOLES WENT ON A RAMPAGE AFTER A
MEMPHIS SCREENING OF

MOLES WENT ON A RAMPAGE AFTER A
MEMPHIS SCREENING OF
"THE WARRIORS."

MEMPHIS SCREENING OF
"THE WARRIORS."
THEY TERRORIZED A SCHOOL BUS,

"THE WARRIORS."
THEY TERRORIZED A SCHOOL BUS,
DANCED THE HULA, AND MADE FUN OF

THEY TERRORIZED A SCHOOL BUS,
DANCED THE HULA, AND MADE FUN OF
A CROSSING GUARD AT A LOCAL

DANCED THE HULA, AND MADE FUN OF
A CROSSING GUARD AT A LOCAL
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

A CROSSING GUARD AT A LOCAL
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
THERE WERE NO ARRESTS.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
THERE WERE NO ARRESTS.
BILL?

THERE WERE NO ARRESTS.
BILL?
THIS WEEK IN ENGLAND, THE

BILL?
THIS WEEK IN ENGLAND, THE
HOUSE OF COMMONS VOTED TO

THIS WEEK IN ENGLAND, THE
HOUSE OF COMMONS VOTED TO
LEGALIZE PROSTITUTION AFTER

HOUSE OF COMMONS VOTED TO
LEGALIZE PROSTITUTION AFTER
PROSTITUTES THREATENED TO

LEGALIZE PROSTITUTION AFTER
PROSTITUTES THREATENED TO
PUBLICLY NAME HIGH GOVERNMENT

PROSTITUTES THREATENED TO
PUBLICLY NAME HIGH GOVERNMENT
OFFICIALS WHO HAD BEEN THEIR

PUBLICLY NAME HIGH GOVERNMENT
OFFICIALS WHO HAD BEEN THEIR
CLIENTS.

OFFICIALS WHO HAD BEEN THEIR
CLIENTS.
IN RETURN FOR THE FAVORABLE

CLIENTS.
IN RETURN FOR THE FAVORABLE
VOTE, THE GREAT BRITAIN SOCIETY

IN RETURN FOR THE FAVORABLE
VOTE, THE GREAT BRITAIN SOCIETY
OF GREAT PROSTITUTES PROMISED

VOTE, THE GREAT BRITAIN SOCIETY
OF GREAT PROSTITUTES PROMISED
MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT A

OF GREAT PROSTITUTES PROMISED
MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT A
PERPETUAL 30% DISCOUNT, FREE

MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT A
PERPETUAL 30% DISCOUNT, FREE
SOAP, AND WHAT THE SOCIETY

PERPETUAL 30% DISCOUNT, FREE
SOAP, AND WHAT THE SOCIETY
REFERS TO AS "A HUM NUMBER TO

SOAP, AND WHAT THE SOCIETY
REFERS TO AS "A HUM NUMBER TO
RULE BRITANNIA."

REFERS TO AS "A HUM NUMBER TO
RULE BRITANNIA."
IRANIAN OFFICIALS SAID TUESDAY

RULE BRITANNIA."
IRANIAN OFFICIALS SAID TUESDAY
THAT THEY WILL PUT SHAH

IRANIAN OFFICIALS SAID TUESDAY
THAT THEY WILL PUT SHAH
MOHAMMED PAHLAVI ON TRIAL IN

THAT THEY WILL PUT SHAH
MOHAMMED PAHLAVI ON TRIAL IN
ABSENTIA FOR CRIMES AGAINST THE

MOHAMMED PAHLAVI ON TRIAL IN
ABSENTIA FOR CRIMES AGAINST THE
NATION.

ABSENTIA FOR CRIMES AGAINST THE
NATION.
THEY ADDED THAT IF THE SHAH IS

NATION.
THEY ADDED THAT IF THE SHAH IS
FOUND GUILTY, HE WILL BE SHOT IN

THEY ADDED THAT IF THE SHAH IS
FOUND GUILTY, HE WILL BE SHOT IN
ABSENTIA AND HAVE A PRETEND

FOUND GUILTY, HE WILL BE SHOT IN
ABSENTIA AND HAVE A PRETEND
STATE FUNERAL.

ABSENTIA AND HAVE A PRETEND
STATE FUNERAL.
TRAGEDY IN THE WORLD OF SHOW

STATE FUNERAL.
TRAGEDY IN THE WORLD OF SHOW
BUSINESS THIS WEEK WHEN MR. ED,

TRAGEDY IN THE WORLD OF SHOW
BUSINESS THIS WEEK WHEN MR. ED,
TV's TALKING HORSE, DIED AT THE

BUSINESS THIS WEEK WHEN MR. ED,
TV's TALKING HORSE, DIED AT THE
AGE OF 33.

TV's TALKING HORSE, DIED AT THE
AGE OF 33.
THE TALENTED HORSE WAS ONE OF

AGE OF 33.
THE TALENTED HORSE WAS ONE OF
THE FEW STARS WHO SUCCESSFULLY

THE TALENTED HORSE WAS ONE OF
THE FEW STARS WHO SUCCESSFULLY
MADE THE TRANSITION FROM SILENT

THE FEW STARS WHO SUCCESSFULLY
MADE THE TRANSITION FROM SILENT
MOVIES TO TALKIES.

MADE THE TRANSITION FROM SILENT
MOVIES TO TALKIES.
IN ACCORDANCE WITH HIS WISHES,

MOVIES TO TALKIES.
IN ACCORDANCE WITH HIS WISHES,
MR. ED'S TOMBSTONE WILL BEAR THE

IN ACCORDANCE WITH HIS WISHES,
MR. ED'S TOMBSTONE WILL BEAR THE
SIMPLE LEGEND, "MR. DEAD."

MR. ED'S TOMBSTONE WILL BEAR THE
SIMPLE LEGEND, "MR. DEAD."
YOU KNOW, I JUST COULDN'T

SIMPLE LEGEND, "MR. DEAD."
YOU KNOW, I JUST COULDN'T
DISMISS A STORY LIKE THIS SO

YOU KNOW, I JUST COULDN'T
DISMISS A STORY LIKE THIS SO
EASILY.

DISMISS A STORY LIKE THIS SO
EASILY.
MR. ED WAS A BIG PART OF MY

EASILY.
MR. ED WAS A BIG PART OF MY
CHILDHOOD.

MR. ED WAS A BIG PART OF MY
CHILDHOOD.
SO IN A FINAL TRIBUTE, I'VE

CHILDHOOD.
SO IN A FINAL TRIBUTE, I'VE
CONTACTED HIS GRIEVING WIDOW,

SO IN A FINAL TRIBUTE, I'VE
CONTACTED HIS GRIEVING WIDOW,
AND SHE HAS AGREED TO APPEAR ON

CONTACTED HIS GRIEVING WIDOW,
AND SHE HAS AGREED TO APPEAR ON
CELEBRITY CORNER.

AND SHE HAS AGREED TO APPEAR ON
CELEBRITY CORNER.
MRS. ED?

CELEBRITY CORNER.
MRS. ED?
YOU KNOW...

MRS. ED?
YOU KNOW...
WE KID.

YOU KNOW...
WE KID.
WE DO A LOT OF KIDDING ABOUT THE

WE KID.
WE DO A LOT OF KIDDING ABOUT THE
ANIMAL KINGDOM, QUITE A BIT OF

WE DO A LOT OF KIDDING ABOUT THE
ANIMAL KINGDOM, QUITE A BIT OF
KIDDING ABOUT THE ANIMAL

ANIMAL KINGDOM, QUITE A BIT OF
KIDDING ABOUT THE ANIMAL
KINGDOM, BUT, YOU KNOW, IF IT

KIDDING ABOUT THE ANIMAL
KINGDOM, BUT, YOU KNOW, IF IT
WEREN'T FOR THOSE PEOPLE WITH

KINGDOM, BUT, YOU KNOW, IF IT
WEREN'T FOR THOSE PEOPLE WITH
FOUR LEGS, HOW WOULD SOME OF US

WEREN'T FOR THOSE PEOPLE WITH
FOUR LEGS, HOW WOULD SOME OF US
LESS FORTUNATE WITH TWO...

FOUR LEGS, HOW WOULD SOME OF US
LESS FORTUNATE WITH TWO...
AH, MRS. ED?

LESS FORTUNATE WITH TWO...
AH, MRS. ED?
HELLO.

AH, MRS. ED?
HELLO.
I'M SO SORRY THAT WE HAD TO MEET

HELLO.
I'M SO SORRY THAT WE HAD TO MEET
UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.

I'M SO SORRY THAT WE HAD TO MEET
UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.
WHAT...

UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.
WHAT...
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHAT...
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WHAT CAN I SAY, EXCEPT... I KNOW

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WHAT CAN I SAY, EXCEPT... I KNOW
HOW YOU FEEL.

WHAT CAN I SAY, EXCEPT... I KNOW
HOW YOU FEEL.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

HOW YOU FEEL.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
WHAT CAN I SAY?

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
WHAT CAN I SAY?
I'M SORRY.

WHAT CAN I SAY?
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S ALL I... YOU CAN EXPECT

I'M SORRY.
THAT'S ALL I... YOU CAN EXPECT
ME TO SAY.

THAT'S ALL I... YOU CAN EXPECT
ME TO SAY.
I'M VERY...

ME TO SAY.
I'M VERY...
[Neighing] WELL, THANK YOU,

I'M VERY...
[Neighing] WELL, THANK YOU,
WILLIAM!

[Neighing] WELL, THANK YOU,
WILLIAM!
NOW, BE BRAVE, MRS. ED.

WILLIAM!
NOW, BE BRAVE, MRS. ED.
YOU KNOW THAT THE HEARTS OF ALL

NOW, BE BRAVE, MRS. ED.
YOU KNOW THAT THE HEARTS OF ALL
AMERICANS ARE WITH YOU.

YOU KNOW THAT THE HEARTS OF ALL
AMERICANS ARE WITH YOU.
I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.

AMERICANS ARE WITH YOU.
I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.
I KNOW THAT, BILL.

I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT.
I KNOW THAT, BILL.
THE PHONE HASN'T STOPPED

I KNOW THAT, BILL.
THE PHONE HASN'T STOPPED
RINGING.

THE PHONE HASN'T STOPPED
RINGING.
YOU HAD ONE OF THE MORE

RINGING.
YOU HAD ONE OF THE MORE
SUCCESSFUL SHOW-BUSINESS

YOU HAD ONE OF THE MORE
SUCCESSFUL SHOW-BUSINESS
MARRIAGES, 30 YEARS, MRS. ED.

SUCCESSFUL SHOW-BUSINESS
MARRIAGES, 30 YEARS, MRS. ED.
HOW DID YOU DO IT?

MARRIAGES, 30 YEARS, MRS. ED.
HOW DID YOU DO IT?
WE LOVED EACH OTHER, BILL.

HOW DID YOU DO IT?
WE LOVED EACH OTHER, BILL.
ED WAS SUPPORTIVE, CONSIDERATE,

WE LOVED EACH OTHER, BILL.
ED WAS SUPPORTIVE, CONSIDERATE,
AND CARING.

ED WAS SUPPORTIVE, CONSIDERATE,
AND CARING.
AND, INCIDENTALLY, HE WAS GREAT

AND CARING.
AND, INCIDENTALLY, HE WAS GREAT
IN THE HAY.

AND, INCIDENTALLY, HE WAS GREAT
IN THE HAY.
[NEIGHING]

IN THE HAY.
[NEIGHING]
A LITTLE HORSE JOKE, WILLIAM.

[NEIGHING]
A LITTLE HORSE JOKE, WILLIAM.
[LAUGHS]

A LITTLE HORSE JOKE, WILLIAM.
[LAUGHS]
A STUD, WAS HE?

[LAUGHS]
A STUD, WAS HE?
I GOT THAT.

A STUD, WAS HE?
I GOT THAT.
I SEE WHERE HE GOT HIS SENSE OF

I GOT THAT.
I SEE WHERE HE GOT HIS SENSE OF
HUMOR, TOO.

I SEE WHERE HE GOT HIS SENSE OF
HUMOR, TOO.
I GUESS ED'S LAST DAYS MUST HAVE

HUMOR, TOO.
I GUESS ED'S LAST DAYS MUST HAVE
BEEN VERY HARD ON YOU, HUH?

I GUESS ED'S LAST DAYS MUST HAVE
BEEN VERY HARD ON YOU, HUH?
NO.

BEEN VERY HARD ON YOU, HUH?
NO.
ED... WAIT A MINUTE.

NO.
ED... WAIT A MINUTE.
WHERE AM I GOING?

ED... WAIT A MINUTE.
WHERE AM I GOING?
IT'S... IT'S... IT'S THE ONE

WHERE AM I GOING?
IT'S... IT'S... IT'S THE ONE
WITH THE RED LIGHT ON, MRS. ED.

IT'S... IT'S... IT'S THE ONE
WITH THE RED LIGHT ON, MRS. ED.
THANKS, WILLIAM!

WITH THE RED LIGHT ON, MRS. ED.
THANKS, WILLIAM!
UH, WILLIAM, ED MADE IT EASY FOR

THANKS, WILLIAM!
UH, WILLIAM, ED MADE IT EASY FOR
ME.

UH, WILLIAM, ED MADE IT EASY FOR
ME.
HE KNEW HE WAS DYING.

ME.
HE KNEW HE WAS DYING.
HE ACCEPTED IT PHILOSOPHICALLY.

HE KNEW HE WAS DYING.
HE ACCEPTED IT PHILOSOPHICALLY.
WITH HIS LAST BREATH, ED JUST

HE ACCEPTED IT PHILOSOPHICALLY.
WITH HIS LAST BREATH, ED JUST
LOOKED AT ME AND SIGHED, "A

WITH HIS LAST BREATH, ED JUST
LOOKED AT ME AND SIGHED, "A
CORPSE IS A CORPSE, OF COURSE,

LOOKED AT ME AND SIGHED, "A
CORPSE IS A CORPSE, OF COURSE,
OF COURSE."

SWEET, SWEET, SWEET LADY,
HUH?
LET ME MENTION TO OUR VIEWERS

HUH?
LET ME MENTION TO OUR VIEWERS
THAT THE ED FAMILY HAS REQUESTED

LET ME MENTION TO OUR VIEWERS
THAT THE ED FAMILY HAS REQUESTED
THAT, IN LIEU OF FLOWERS,

THAT THE ED FAMILY HAS REQUESTED
THAT, IN LIEU OF FLOWERS,
WELL-WISHERS SHOULD SEND A

THAT, IN LIEU OF FLOWERS,
WELL-WISHERS SHOULD SEND A
DONATION TO THE AMERICAN

WELL-WISHERS SHOULD SEND A
DONATION TO THE AMERICAN
HARDENING OF THE FETLOCKS

DONATION TO THE AMERICAN
HARDENING OF THE FETLOCKS
ASSOCIATION IN GALVESTON, TEXAS.

HARDENING OF THE FETLOCKS
ASSOCIATION IN GALVESTON, TEXAS.
JANE?

ASSOCIATION IN GALVESTON, TEXAS.
JANE?
[LAUGHS]

JANE?
[LAUGHS]
THAT'S THE NEWS.

[LAUGHS]
THAT'S THE NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT

THAT'S THE NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.

GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[SLOW-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.

[APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BREAK

THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BREAK
RIGHT NOW, SO DON'T LEAVE TOWN

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BREAK
RIGHT NOW, SO DON'T LEAVE TOWN
OR NOTHING 'CAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT

RIGHT NOW, SO DON'T LEAVE TOWN
OR NOTHING 'CAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK.

OR NOTHING 'CAUSE WE'LL BE RIGHT
BACK.
[APPLAUSE]

BACK.
[APPLAUSE]
[ELECTRIC GUITAR STRUMMING]

[APPLAUSE]
[ELECTRIC GUITAR STRUMMING]
THANK YOU, SONNY DACEY AND

[ELECTRIC GUITAR STRUMMING]
THANK YOU, SONNY DACEY AND
THE FIRECRACKERS.

THANK YOU, SONNY DACEY AND
THE FIRECRACKERS.
NOW, TOMORROW, BOYS AND GIRLS,

THE FIRECRACKERS.
NOW, TOMORROW, BOYS AND GIRLS,
I'M GOING TO START THOSE CHA-CHA

NOW, TOMORROW, BOYS AND GIRLS,
I'M GOING TO START THOSE CHA-CHA
LESSONS.

I'M GOING TO START THOSE CHA-CHA
LESSONS.
[CHUCKLES]

LESSONS.
[CHUCKLES]
I'M PROUD TO SEE THAT THERE ARE

[CHUCKLES]
I'M PROUD TO SEE THAT THERE ARE
NO INFRACTIONS OF THE DRESS CODE

I'M PROUD TO SEE THAT THERE ARE
NO INFRACTIONS OF THE DRESS CODE
AND THAT NO ONE IS WEARING

NO INFRACTIONS OF THE DRESS CODE
AND THAT NO ONE IS WEARING
STREET SHOES ON THE FRESHLY

AND THAT NO ONE IS WEARING
STREET SHOES ON THE FRESHLY
WAXED FLOOR.

STREET SHOES ON THE FRESHLY
WAXED FLOOR.
UNFORTUNATELY, ONE PERSON HAS

WAXED FLOOR.
UNFORTUNATELY, ONE PERSON HAS
TRIED TO SPOIL IT FOR THE REST

UNFORTUNATELY, ONE PERSON HAS
TRIED TO SPOIL IT FOR THE REST
OF US.

TRIED TO SPOIL IT FOR THE REST
OF US.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE MISCHIEF

OF US.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE MISCHIEF
MAKER WHO PUT CELLOPHANE ON THE

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE MISCHIEF
MAKER WHO PUT CELLOPHANE ON THE
TOILET SEATS IN THE GIRLS ROOM.

MAKER WHO PUT CELLOPHANE ON THE
TOILET SEATS IN THE GIRLS ROOM.
NOW, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

TOILET SEATS IN THE GIRLS ROOM.
NOW, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
AND YOU'RE ON YOUR HONOR TO GO

NOW, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
AND YOU'RE ON YOUR HONOR TO GO
AND REMOVE IT, OR THERE WILL BE

AND YOU'RE ON YOUR HONOR TO GO
AND REMOVE IT, OR THERE WILL BE
NO ESKIMO PIES SOLD IN THE

AND REMOVE IT, OR THERE WILL BE
NO ESKIMO PIES SOLD IN THE
CAFETERIA FOR A WEEK.

NO ESKIMO PIES SOLD IN THE
CAFETERIA FOR A WEEK.
[STUDENTS GROANING]

CAFETERIA FOR A WEEK.
[STUDENTS GROANING]
NOW HERE'S YOUR PRINCIPAL,

[STUDENTS GROANING]
NOW HERE'S YOUR PRINCIPAL,
MR. MOSEY.

NOW HERE'S YOUR PRINCIPAL,
MR. MOSEY.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

MR. MOSEY.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
HELLO. HELLO.

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
HELLO. HELLO.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU, MS. HINKS.

HELLO. HELLO.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU, MS. HINKS.
I MUST ADMIT I HAD SOME

THANK YOU. THANK YOU, MS. HINKS.
I MUST ADMIT I HAD SOME
TREPIDATION ABOUT HAVING LIVE

I MUST ADMIT I HAD SOME
TREPIDATION ABOUT HAVING LIVE
ENTERTAINMENT, BUT I WAS

TREPIDATION ABOUT HAVING LIVE
ENTERTAINMENT, BUT I WAS
PREVAILED UPON BY MS. HINKS, AND

ENTERTAINMENT, BUT I WAS
PREVAILED UPON BY MS. HINKS, AND
YOUR ORDERLY CONDUCT HAS BORNE

PREVAILED UPON BY MS. HINKS, AND
YOUR ORDERLY CONDUCT HAS BORNE
OUT HER FAITH IN YOU YOUNGSTERS.

YOUR ORDERLY CONDUCT HAS BORNE
OUT HER FAITH IN YOU YOUNGSTERS.
BUT ENOUGH FROM US OLD FOGIES.

OUT HER FAITH IN YOU YOUNGSTERS.
BUT ENOUGH FROM US OLD FOGIES.
GO ON. HAVE FUN WITHIN LIMITS.

BUT ENOUGH FROM US OLD FOGIES.
GO ON. HAVE FUN WITHIN LIMITS.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

GO ON. HAVE FUN WITHIN LIMITS.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
UM, I'M CARLA. HI.

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
UM, I'M CARLA. HI.
OKAY, YOU'RE THE HEALTH TEACHER,

UM, I'M CARLA. HI.
OKAY, YOU'RE THE HEALTH TEACHER,
RIGHT?

OKAY, YOU'RE THE HEALTH TEACHER,
RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.

RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, UM, THIS GIRLFRIEND OF

THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, UM, THIS GIRLFRIEND OF
MINE, UH, IS, UH, LATE.

WELL, UM, THIS GIRLFRIEND OF
MINE, UH, IS, UH, LATE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

MINE, UH, IS, UH, LATE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
OH, THAT'S A SHAME.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
OH, THAT'S A SHAME.
BEING ON TIME IS A VERY

OH, THAT'S A SHAME.
BEING ON TIME IS A VERY
IMPORTANT PART OF BEING AN

BEING ON TIME IS A VERY
IMPORTANT PART OF BEING AN
ADULT.

IMPORTANT PART OF BEING AN
ADULT.
UH, NO, I MEAN SHE'S BEEN

ADULT.
UH, NO, I MEAN SHE'S BEEN
LATE FOR, UH, TWO MONTHS, UH...

UH, NO, I MEAN SHE'S BEEN
LATE FOR, UH, TWO MONTHS, UH...
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LATE FOR, UH, TWO MONTHS, UH...
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
WELL, NO WONDER.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
WELL, NO WONDER.
WHY DOESN'T SHE GET AN ALARM

WELL, NO WONDER.
WHY DOESN'T SHE GET AN ALARM
CLOCK OR ONE OF THOSE NEW CLOCK

WHY DOESN'T SHE GET AN ALARM
CLOCK OR ONE OF THOSE NEW CLOCK
RADIOS?

CLOCK OR ONE OF THOSE NEW CLOCK
RADIOS?
UH, NO, I MEAN SHE'S GOT, UH,

RADIOS?
UH, NO, I MEAN SHE'S GOT, UH,
STOMACH PROBLEMS.

UH, NO, I MEAN SHE'S GOT, UH,
STOMACH PROBLEMS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

STOMACH PROBLEMS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
DOES SHE GULP HER FOOD?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
DOES SHE GULP HER FOOD?
UH, NO.

DOES SHE GULP HER FOOD?
UH, NO.
WELL, UH, FORGET IT, MS. HINKS.

UH, NO.
WELL, UH, FORGET IT, MS. HINKS.
I'M KNOCKED UP, YOU STUPID COW.

WELL, UH, FORGET IT, MS. HINKS.
I'M KNOCKED UP, YOU STUPID COW.
HEY, UH, CARLA?

I'M KNOCKED UP, YOU STUPID COW.
HEY, UH, CARLA?
YEAH?

HEY, UH, CARLA?
YEAH?
YOU WANT TO GO IN THE PHONE

YEAH?
YOU WANT TO GO IN THE PHONE
BOOTH WITH ME?

YOU WANT TO GO IN THE PHONE
BOOTH WITH ME?
I WANT TO GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT

BOOTH WITH ME?
I WANT TO GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT
BETWEEN US.

I WANT TO GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT
BETWEEN US.
[CHUCKLES]

BETWEEN US.
[CHUCKLES]
SURE, GREG.

[CHUCKLES]
SURE, GREG.
I'LL GO WITH YOU.

SURE, GREG.
I'LL GO WITH YOU.
YOU WANT TO NOW?

I'LL GO WITH YOU.
YOU WANT TO NOW?
YEAH, COME ON.

YOU WANT TO NOW?
YEAH, COME ON.
SURE.

YEAH, COME ON.
SURE.
SONNY?

SURE.
SONNY?
YEAH?

SONNY?
YEAH?
UH, LISTEN, UH, DO YOU REMEMBER

YEAH?
UH, LISTEN, UH, DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?

UH, LISTEN, UH, DO YOU REMEMBER
ME?
HEY, I KNOW YOU.

ME?
HEY, I KNOW YOU.
YOU WERE AT MY FIRST GIG DOWN AT

HEY, I KNOW YOU.
YOU WERE AT MY FIRST GIG DOWN AT
THE LAZY BEE BOWLING ALLEY,

YOU WERE AT MY FIRST GIG DOWN AT
THE LAZY BEE BOWLING ALLEY,
RIGHT?

THE LAZY BEE BOWLING ALLEY,
RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH.

RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH.
I GUESS I'M PROBABLY YOUR

THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH.
I GUESS I'M PROBABLY YOUR
BIGGEST FAN.

I GUESS I'M PROBABLY YOUR
BIGGEST FAN.
UH, MY NAME'S CAROLE BECKER,

BIGGEST FAN.
UH, MY NAME'S CAROLE BECKER,
AND... THAT'S CAROLE WITH AN

UH, MY NAME'S CAROLE BECKER,
AND... THAT'S CAROLE WITH AN
"E"... AND I'M A SONGWRITER, AND

AND... THAT'S CAROLE WITH AN
"E"... AND I'M A SONGWRITER, AND
THIS IS MY PARTNER,

"E"... AND I'M A SONGWRITER, AND
THIS IS MY PARTNER,
HENRY JACKSON.

THIS IS MY PARTNER,
HENRY JACKSON.
HOW YOU DOING?

HENRY JACKSON.
HOW YOU DOING?
I MET HIM ON A STREET CORNER

HOW YOU DOING?
I MET HIM ON A STREET CORNER
SINGING ONE-PART HARMONY.

I MET HIM ON A STREET CORNER
SINGING ONE-PART HARMONY.
HI, SONNY.

SINGING ONE-PART HARMONY.
HI, SONNY.
HE CALLS HIMSELF THE

HI, SONNY.
HE CALLS HIMSELF THE
"COOL TONE."

HE CALLS HIMSELF THE
"COOL TONE."
YEAH, SEE, I HEARD THAT IN

"COOL TONE."
YEAH, SEE, I HEARD THAT IN
THE BIG CITY, CATS LIKE ME HUNG

YEAH, SEE, I HEARD THAT IN
THE BIG CITY, CATS LIKE ME HUNG
OUT ON THE STREET, HARMONIZING,

THE BIG CITY, CATS LIKE ME HUNG
OUT ON THE STREET, HARMONIZING,
YOU KNOW?

OUT ON THE STREET, HARMONIZING,
YOU KNOW?
SO I DECIDED TO TRY IT ALONE IN

YOU KNOW?
SO I DECIDED TO TRY IT ALONE IN
THE HOPES OF ATTRACTING OTHER

SO I DECIDED TO TRY IT ALONE IN
THE HOPES OF ATTRACTING OTHER
COOL TONES.

THE HOPES OF ATTRACTING OTHER
COOL TONES.
YEAH? WHAT'S HAPPENING?

COOL TONES.
YEAH? WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WELL, YOU KNOW, A FEW PEOPLE

YEAH? WHAT'S HAPPENING?
WELL, YOU KNOW, A FEW PEOPLE
HAVE SNAPPED THEIR FINGERS, YOU

WELL, YOU KNOW, A FEW PEOPLE
HAVE SNAPPED THEIR FINGERS, YOU
KNOW, BUT SO FAR, NOBODY'S

HAVE SNAPPED THEIR FINGERS, YOU
KNOW, BUT SO FAR, NOBODY'S
JOINED IN.

KNOW, BUT SO FAR, NOBODY'S
JOINED IN.
BUT ANYWAY, I GOT THE SITUATION

JOINED IN.
BUT ANYWAY, I GOT THE SITUATION
ANALYZED.

BUT ANYWAY, I GOT THE SITUATION
ANALYZED.
I'M GONNA MOVE TO A COOLER

ANALYZED.
I'M GONNA MOVE TO A COOLER
CORNER.

I'M GONNA MOVE TO A COOLER
CORNER.
WELL, GOOD LUCK, MR. COOL.

CORNER.
WELL, GOOD LUCK, MR. COOL.
HEY, I LIKE YOUR HAIR.

WELL, GOOD LUCK, MR. COOL.
HEY, I LIKE YOUR HAIR.
OH, THANKS.

HEY, I LIKE YOUR HAIR.
OH, THANKS.
YOU WANT TO THE A&W LATER AND

OH, THANKS.
YOU WANT TO THE A&W LATER AND
GET A PIG SANDWICH OR SOMETHING?

YOU WANT TO THE A&W LATER AND
GET A PIG SANDWICH OR SOMETHING?
OH, ANYTHING, SONNY! GEE!

GET A PIG SANDWICH OR SOMETHING?
OH, ANYTHING, SONNY! GEE!
I MEAN, YOU JUST GOT TO LISTEN

OH, ANYTHING, SONNY! GEE!
I MEAN, YOU JUST GOT TO LISTEN
TO MY SONG, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, YOU JUST GOT TO LISTEN
TO MY SONG, YOU KNOW?
'CAUSE, LIKE, YOU'RE MY IDOL,

TO MY SONG, YOU KNOW?
'CAUSE, LIKE, YOU'RE MY IDOL,
AND ROCK 'N' ROLL IS MY LIFE.

'CAUSE, LIKE, YOU'RE MY IDOL,
AND ROCK 'N' ROLL IS MY LIFE.
WELL, HONEY, YOU'RE IN LUCK

AND ROCK 'N' ROLL IS MY LIFE.
WELL, HONEY, YOU'RE IN LUCK
TONIGHT 'CAUSE MY MOTEL ROOM IS

WELL, HONEY, YOU'RE IN LUCK
TONIGHT 'CAUSE MY MOTEL ROOM IS
ACOUSTICALLY PERFECT... THE

TONIGHT 'CAUSE MY MOTEL ROOM IS
ACOUSTICALLY PERFECT... THE
LUCKY "F" MOTEL, ROOM NUMBER 4.

ACOUSTICALLY PERFECT... THE
LUCKY "F" MOTEL, ROOM NUMBER 4.
IT'S FOUR DOORS FROM THE

LUCKY "F" MOTEL, ROOM NUMBER 4.
IT'S FOUR DOORS FROM THE
MANAGER.

IT'S FOUR DOORS FROM THE
MANAGER.
OH, MY GOD.

MANAGER.
OH, MY GOD.
YOU MEAN WE CAN MAKE A RECORD

OH, MY GOD.
YOU MEAN WE CAN MAKE A RECORD
TONIGHT AND EVERYTHING?

YOU MEAN WE CAN MAKE A RECORD
TONIGHT AND EVERYTHING?
WE CAN MAKE A RECORD TONIGHT,

TONIGHT AND EVERYTHING?
WE CAN MAKE A RECORD TONIGHT,
TWO SIDES.

WE CAN MAKE A RECORD TONIGHT,
TWO SIDES.
IT'LL BE PRESSED TOMORROW.

TWO SIDES.
IT'LL BE PRESSED TOMORROW.
IT'LL BE OUT ON THE MARKET.

IT'LL BE PRESSED TOMORROW.
IT'LL BE OUT ON THE MARKET.
OH, GOSH, THANK YOU!

IT'LL BE OUT ON THE MARKET.
OH, GOSH, THANK YOU!
OH, SONNY, YOU'RE THE MOST!

OH, GOSH, THANK YOU!
OH, SONNY, YOU'RE THE MOST!
OH, BOY!

OH, SONNY, YOU'RE THE MOST!
OH, BOY!
OH.

OH, BOY!
OH.
EXCUSE ME.

OH.
EXCUSE ME.
SURE, BABE.

EXCUSE ME.
SURE, BABE.
GUY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT!

SURE, BABE.
GUY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
WE'RE GONNA MAKE A RECORD

GUY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT!
WE'RE GONNA MAKE A RECORD
TONIGHT... OH, MY GOSH... AND IN

WE'RE GONNA MAKE A RECORD
TONIGHT... OH, MY GOSH... AND IN
YOUR MOTEL ROOM!

TONIGHT... OH, MY GOSH... AND IN
YOUR MOTEL ROOM!
YOU BET.

YOUR MOTEL ROOM!
YOU BET.
I GOT TO GO CALL MY MOTHER!

YOU BET.
I GOT TO GO CALL MY MOTHER!
SHE'LL BE SO EXCITED!

I GOT TO GO CALL MY MOTHER!
SHE'LL BE SO EXCITED!
OH, HEY...

SHE'LL BE SO EXCITED!
OH, HEY...
TELL ME SOMETHING, SONNY.

OH, HEY...
TELL ME SOMETHING, SONNY.
DO YOU KNOW IF BUDDY HOLLY IS A

TELL ME SOMETHING, SONNY.
DO YOU KNOW IF BUDDY HOLLY IS A
NEGRO?

DO YOU KNOW IF BUDDY HOLLY IS A
NEGRO?
YEAH, I'M PRETTY SURE HE IS.

NEGRO?
YEAH, I'M PRETTY SURE HE IS.
I KNOW THE BIG BOPPER IS.

YEAH, I'M PRETTY SURE HE IS.
I KNOW THE BIG BOPPER IS.
EXCUSE ME, COOL TONE.

I KNOW THE BIG BOPPER IS.
EXCUSE ME, COOL TONE.
HERE'S YOUR PUNCH, DARLING.

EXCUSE ME, COOL TONE.
HERE'S YOUR PUNCH, DARLING.
THANKS.

HERE'S YOUR PUNCH, DARLING.
THANKS.
COOL IT! IT'S THE PRINCIPAL!

THANKS.
COOL IT! IT'S THE PRINCIPAL!
YOUNG LADY, IS THAT A PIECE

COOL IT! IT'S THE PRINCIPAL!
YOUNG LADY, IS THAT A PIECE
OF CHEWING GUM I SEE IN YOUR

YOUNG LADY, IS THAT A PIECE
OF CHEWING GUM I SEE IN YOUR
CHEEK?

OF CHEWING GUM I SEE IN YOUR
CHEEK?
UNH-UNH, SIR.

CHEEK?
UNH-UNH, SIR.
A WORD TO THE WISE... CHEWING

UNH-UNH, SIR.
A WORD TO THE WISE... CHEWING
GUM LEADS TO SMOKING CIGARETTES,

A WORD TO THE WISE... CHEWING
GUM LEADS TO SMOKING CIGARETTES,
AND YOU KNOW WHERE THAT LEADS.

GUM LEADS TO SMOKING CIGARETTES,
AND YOU KNOW WHERE THAT LEADS.
WHERE, SIR?

AND YOU KNOW WHERE THAT LEADS.
WHERE, SIR?
DRINKING BEER.

WHERE, SIR?
DRINKING BEER.
AND AS FAR AS YOU, YOUNG MAN, IT

DRINKING BEER.
AND AS FAR AS YOU, YOUNG MAN, IT
BEHOOVES ME TO REMIND YOU THAT

AND AS FAR AS YOU, YOUNG MAN, IT
BEHOOVES ME TO REMIND YOU THAT
CLOSE DANCING LEADS TO HUGGING,

BEHOOVES ME TO REMIND YOU THAT
CLOSE DANCING LEADS TO HUGGING,
AND YOU KNOW WHERE THAT LEADS.

CLOSE DANCING LEADS TO HUGGING,
AND YOU KNOW WHERE THAT LEADS.
TO THE PHONE BOOTH?

AND YOU KNOW WHERE THAT LEADS.
TO THE PHONE BOOTH?
I MEAN, WHERE, SIR?

TO THE PHONE BOOTH?
I MEAN, WHERE, SIR?
DRINKING BEER.

I MEAN, WHERE, SIR?
DRINKING BEER.
HAVE FUN, KIDS.

DRINKING BEER.
HAVE FUN, KIDS.
BOY, MR. MOSEY DON'T EXACTLY

HAVE FUN, KIDS.
BOY, MR. MOSEY DON'T EXACTLY
FEATURE BEER.

BOY, MR. MOSEY DON'T EXACTLY
FEATURE BEER.
I GOT A SUIT LIKE THAT AT

FEATURE BEER.
I GOT A SUIT LIKE THAT AT
HOME.

I GOT A SUIT LIKE THAT AT
HOME.
HEY, UH, GIVE ME A DRAG OF

HOME.
HEY, UH, GIVE ME A DRAG OF
THAT BUTT.

HEY, UH, GIVE ME A DRAG OF
THAT BUTT.
I'M HAVING A NICOTINE FIT.

THAT BUTT.
I'M HAVING A NICOTINE FIT.
ONCE ME AND A FRIEND DRANK

I'M HAVING A NICOTINE FIT.
ONCE ME AND A FRIEND DRANK
TWO CASES OF BEER, AND WE GOT

ONCE ME AND A FRIEND DRANK
TWO CASES OF BEER, AND WE GOT
HOME AT 1:00 A.M.

TWO CASES OF BEER, AND WE GOT
HOME AT 1:00 A.M.
AH.

HOME AT 1:00 A.M.
AH.
HEY, LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO GO

AH.
HEY, LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO GO
OUT TO MY CAR, I GOT ANOTHER

HEY, LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO GO
OUT TO MY CAR, I GOT ANOTHER
PACK OF THESE IN THE CAR.

OUT TO MY CAR, I GOT ANOTHER
PACK OF THESE IN THE CAR.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?

PACK OF THESE IN THE CAR.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
SURE. WHAT'S THE DIFF?

WHAT DO YOU SAY?
SURE. WHAT'S THE DIFF?
I ALREADY GOT A BAD REP.

SURE. WHAT'S THE DIFF?
I ALREADY GOT A BAD REP.
IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSER.

I ALREADY GOT A BAD REP.
IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSER.
ALL RIGHT, I GOT A NASH

IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSER.
ALL RIGHT, I GOT A NASH
RAMBLER.

ALL RIGHT, I GOT A NASH
RAMBLER.
IT'S A LAY-DOWN RAMBLER.

RAMBLER.
IT'S A LAY-DOWN RAMBLER.
IT GOES ALL THE WAY DOWN.

IT'S A LAY-DOWN RAMBLER.
IT GOES ALL THE WAY DOWN.
HEY, UH, WHO'S THAT BALLOON

IT GOES ALL THE WAY DOWN.
HEY, UH, WHO'S THAT BALLOON
SMUGGLER OVER THERE WITH BUTCH?

HEY, UH, WHO'S THAT BALLOON
SMUGGLER OVER THERE WITH BUTCH?
OH, THAT'S "PHONE BOOTH"

SMUGGLER OVER THERE WITH BUTCH?
OH, THAT'S "PHONE BOOTH"
CARLA.

OH, THAT'S "PHONE BOOTH"
CARLA.
SHE'S REALLY FAST.

CARLA.
SHE'S REALLY FAST.
YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT,

SHE'S REALLY FAST.
YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT,
SHE'LL LET YOU GO BELOW THE

YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT,
SHE'LL LET YOU GO BELOW THE
FACE.

SHE'LL LET YOU GO BELOW THE
FACE.
[CHUCKLES]

FACE.
[CHUCKLES]
YEAH?

[CHUCKLES]
YEAH?
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

YEAH?
SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
YOU KNOW, UH, I COULD HAVE

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
YOU KNOW, UH, I COULD HAVE
TAKEN BAND OR SHOP, AND I TOOK

YOU KNOW, UH, I COULD HAVE
TAKEN BAND OR SHOP, AND I TOOK
SHOP.

TAKEN BAND OR SHOP, AND I TOOK
SHOP.
BUT I COULD HAVE TAKEN BAND.

SHOP.
BUT I COULD HAVE TAKEN BAND.
SONNY?

BUT I COULD HAVE TAKEN BAND.
SONNY?
MY MOTHER HAS... LOOK, MY MOTHER

SONNY?
MY MOTHER HAS... LOOK, MY MOTHER
HAS REALLY A FILTHY MIND, YOU

MY MOTHER HAS... LOOK, MY MOTHER
HAS REALLY A FILTHY MIND, YOU
KNOW?

HAS REALLY A FILTHY MIND, YOU
KNOW?
WHAT HAPPENED?

KNOW?
WHAT HAPPENED?
SHE WON'T LET ME GO TO YOUR

WHAT HAPPENED?
SHE WON'T LET ME GO TO YOUR
MOTEL ROOM WITH ME.

SHE WON'T LET ME GO TO YOUR
MOTEL ROOM WITH ME.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED

MOTEL ROOM WITH ME.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED
HER.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CALLED
HER.
WELL, SHE SAYS THAT YOU'RE

HER.
WELL, SHE SAYS THAT YOU'RE
PROBABLY GONNA PUT AN ASPIRIN IN

WELL, SHE SAYS THAT YOU'RE
PROBABLY GONNA PUT AN ASPIRIN IN
MY COKE OR SOMETHING, SO...

PROBABLY GONNA PUT AN ASPIRIN IN
MY COKE OR SOMETHING, SO...
GEEZ!

MY COKE OR SOMETHING, SO...
GEEZ!
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.

GEEZ!
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
I GAVE THE KEY TO HENRY.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
I GAVE THE KEY TO HENRY.
HEY, LISTEN, I'M AWFUL SORRY.

I GAVE THE KEY TO HENRY.
HEY, LISTEN, I'M AWFUL SORRY.
IT'S A SEGREGATE MOTEL, AND I

HEY, LISTEN, I'M AWFUL SORRY.
IT'S A SEGREGATE MOTEL, AND I
GOT THE LAST ROOM.

IT'S A SEGREGATE MOTEL, AND I
GOT THE LAST ROOM.
I'M SORRY, BUD.

GOT THE LAST ROOM.
I'M SORRY, BUD.
WELL, MAYBE WE COULD DO THE

I'M SORRY, BUD.
WELL, MAYBE WE COULD DO THE
SONG FOR YOU HERE.

WELL, MAYBE WE COULD DO THE
SONG FOR YOU HERE.
YEAH, GO AHEAD. DO IT.

SONG FOR YOU HERE.
YEAH, GO AHEAD. DO IT.
OKAY.

YEAH, GO AHEAD. DO IT.
OKAY.
I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT.

OKAY.
I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT.
NO HARD FEELINGS, HUH,

I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT.
NO HARD FEELINGS, HUH,
COOL TONE?

NO HARD FEELINGS, HUH,
COOL TONE?
♪ BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM ♪

COOL TONE?
♪ BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM ♪
♪ COME ON, BABY ♪

♪ BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM ♪
♪ COME ON, BABY ♪
Both: ♪ DO THE DEDICATION ♪

♪ COME ON, BABY ♪
Both: ♪ DO THE DEDICATION ♪
♪ GET ON THE PHONE, CALL YOUR

Both: ♪ DO THE DEDICATION ♪
♪ GET ON THE PHONE, CALL YOUR
RADIO STATION ♪

♪ GET ON THE PHONE, CALL YOUR
RADIO STATION ♪
♪ REQUEST A TUNE, BABY, LET ME

RADIO STATION ♪
♪ REQUEST A TUNE, BABY, LET ME
KNOW ♪

♪ REQUEST A TUNE, BABY, LET ME
KNOW ♪
♪ THAT I'M YOUR BABY AND I LOVE

KNOW ♪
♪ THAT I'M YOUR BABY AND I LOVE
YOU SO ♪

♪ THAT I'M YOUR BABY AND I LOVE
YOU SO ♪
♪ PLEASE PLAY "SINCERELY" FOR

YOU SO ♪
♪ PLEASE PLAY "SINCERELY" FOR
BOBBY SOON ♪

♪ PLEASE PLAY "SINCERELY" FOR
BOBBY SOON ♪
♪ TO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOUR

BOBBY SOON ♪
♪ TO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOUR
HEART IS TRUE ♪

♪ TO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOUR
HEART IS TRUE ♪
♪ AND FOR OUR HOMEROOM TEACHER,

HEART IS TRUE ♪
♪ AND FOR OUR HOMEROOM TEACHER,
MRS. BRANT, MAN ♪

♪ AND FOR OUR HOMEROOM TEACHER,
MRS. BRANT, MAN ♪
♪ I WANT TO SEND OUT

MRS. BRANT, MAN ♪
♪ I WANT TO SEND OUT
"MR. SANDMAN" ♪

♪ I WANT TO SEND OUT
"MR. SANDMAN" ♪
AND THAT'S... THAT'S ALL WE GOT.

"MR. SANDMAN" ♪
AND THAT'S... THAT'S ALL WE GOT.
THANK YOU.

AND THAT'S... THAT'S ALL WE GOT.
THANK YOU.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S GOOD. KEEP IT UP.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THAT'S GOOD. KEEP IT UP.
BUTCH, HOW YOU DOING, BUDDY?

THAT'S GOOD. KEEP IT UP.
BUTCH, HOW YOU DOING, BUDDY?
HEY, SONNY.

BUTCH, HOW YOU DOING, BUDDY?
HEY, SONNY.
YO.

HEY, SONNY.
YO.
THIS IS CARLA.

YO.
THIS IS CARLA.
SONNY.

THIS IS CARLA.
SONNY.
SHE'S A NYMPHO.

SONNY.
SHE'S A NYMPHO.
I LIKE YOUR HAIR.

SHE'S A NYMPHO.
I LIKE YOUR HAIR.
YOU KNOW THAT?

I LIKE YOUR HAIR.
YOU KNOW THAT?
HEY, THANKS. YOU'RE CUTE.

YOU KNOW THAT?
HEY, THANKS. YOU'RE CUTE.
AHA.

HEY, THANKS. YOU'RE CUTE.
AHA.
WELL, LISTEN... LUCKY "F" MOTEL,

AHA.
WELL, LISTEN... LUCKY "F" MOTEL,
ROOM NUMBER 4, FOUR DOORS DOWN

WELL, LISTEN... LUCKY "F" MOTEL,
ROOM NUMBER 4, FOUR DOORS DOWN
FROM THE MANAGER, OKAY?

ROOM NUMBER 4, FOUR DOORS DOWN
FROM THE MANAGER, OKAY?
OKAY, SONNY, BUT BEFORE YOU

FROM THE MANAGER, OKAY?
OKAY, SONNY, BUT BEFORE YOU
GO, WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

OKAY, SONNY, BUT BEFORE YOU
GO, WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
WOULD YOU PLAY SOME ROCK 'N'

GO, WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?
WOULD YOU PLAY SOME ROCK 'N'
ROLL?

WOULD YOU PLAY SOME ROCK 'N'
ROLL?
I PROMISED THE BIG BAND HERE

ROLL?
I PROMISED THE BIG BAND HERE
THAT I'D KEEP IT TAME.

I PROMISED THE BIG BAND HERE
THAT I'D KEEP IT TAME.
AW, WHAT ARE YOU, CHICKEN?

THAT I'D KEEP IT TAME.
AW, WHAT ARE YOU, CHICKEN?
I DARE YOU, SONNY!

AW, WHAT ARE YOU, CHICKEN?
I DARE YOU, SONNY!
I'M NOT NO CHICKEN.

I DARE YOU, SONNY!
I'M NOT NO CHICKEN.
COME ON. GO ON.

I'M NOT NO CHICKEN.
COME ON. GO ON.
I DARE YOU! I DARE YOU!

COME ON. GO ON.
I DARE YOU! I DARE YOU!
WELL, THEN LET'S PLAY.

I DARE YOU! I DARE YOU!
WELL, THEN LET'S PLAY.
LET'S DO IT TO IT.

WELL, THEN LET'S PLAY.
LET'S DO IT TO IT.
OKAY, CARLA.

LET'S DO IT TO IT.
OKAY, CARLA.
OKAY, SIT DOWN OUT THERE.

OKAY, CARLA.
OKAY, SIT DOWN OUT THERE.
[CHUCKLES]

OKAY, SIT DOWN OUT THERE.
[CHUCKLES]
[DRUM BEATS]

[CHUCKLES]
[DRUM BEATS]
THE GIRL WANS TO HEAR SOME

[DRUM BEATS]
THE GIRL WANS TO HEAR SOME
ROCK 'N' ROLL.

THE GIRL WANS TO HEAR SOME
ROCK 'N' ROLL.
HELP ME OUT.

ROCK 'N' ROLL.
HELP ME OUT.
WE'D LIKE TO DO A TUNE FOR MY

HELP ME OUT.
WE'D LIKE TO DO A TUNE FOR MY
NEW SWEETHEART SITTING RIGHT

WE'D LIKE TO DO A TUNE FOR MY
NEW SWEETHEART SITTING RIGHT
DOWN HERE ON THE STEPS IN FRONT

NEW SWEETHEART SITTING RIGHT
DOWN HERE ON THE STEPS IN FRONT
OF US.

DOWN HERE ON THE STEPS IN FRONT
OF US.
THIS IS FOR CARLA.

OF US.
THIS IS FOR CARLA.
[GUITAR PLAYS]

THIS IS FOR CARLA.
[GUITAR PLAYS]
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!

[GUITAR PLAYS]
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
♪ I GOT ON A CITY BUS AND FOUND

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
♪ I GOT ON A CITY BUS AND FOUND
A VACANT SEAT ♪

♪ I GOT ON A CITY BUS AND FOUND
A VACANT SEAT ♪
♪ THOUGHT I SAW MY FUTURE

A VACANT SEAT ♪
♪ THOUGHT I SAW MY FUTURE
BRIDE ♪

♪ THOUGHT I SAW MY FUTURE
BRIDE ♪
♪ SHOUTED TO THE DRIVE ♪

BRIDE ♪
♪ SHOUTED TO THE DRIVE ♪
♪ WELL, SLOW, SLOW, SLOW DOWN ♪

♪ SHOUTED TO THE DRIVE ♪
♪ WELL, SLOW, SLOW, SLOW DOWN ♪
♪ LET ME OFF THIS BUS ♪

♪ WELL, SLOW, SLOW, SLOW DOWN ♪
♪ LET ME OFF THIS BUS ♪
♪ NADINE ♪

♪ LET ME OFF THIS BUS ♪
♪ NADINE ♪
♪ OH, HONEY, IS THAT YOU? ♪

♪ NADINE ♪
♪ OH, HONEY, IS THAT YOU? ♪
♪ OH, NADINE ♪

♪ OH, HONEY, IS THAT YOU? ♪
♪ OH, NADINE ♪
♪ HONEY, IS IT YOU? ♪

♪ OH, NADINE ♪
♪ HONEY, IS IT YOU? ♪
♪ OH, YES, HONEY, DO YOU THINK ♪

♪ HONEY, IS IT YOU? ♪
♪ OH, YES, HONEY, DO YOU THINK ♪
♪ THAT YOUR POOR MAMA HEARS TO

♪ OH, YES, HONEY, DO YOU THINK ♪
♪ THAT YOUR POOR MAMA HEARS TO
DO? ♪

♪ THAT YOUR POOR MAMA HEARS TO
DO? ♪
♪ WHOO, BLESS HIM ♪

[MUSIC STOPS]
STOP RIGHT HERE! STOP!
STOP! STOP! THIS IS DISGUSTING!

STOP RIGHT HERE! STOP!
STOP! STOP! THIS IS DISGUSTING!
DISGUSTING!

STOP! STOP! THIS IS DISGUSTING!
DISGUSTING!
YOU'RE DISGUSTING ME!

DISGUSTING!
YOU'RE DISGUSTING ME!
THIS IS DISGUSTING!

YOU'RE DISGUSTING ME!
THIS IS DISGUSTING!
YOU SHOULD SEE YOU PEOPLE NOW!

THIS IS DISGUSTING!
YOU SHOULD SEE YOU PEOPLE NOW!
WHY, YOU'RE MOVING BELOW THE

YOU SHOULD SEE YOU PEOPLE NOW!
WHY, YOU'RE MOVING BELOW THE
WAIST!

WHY, YOU'RE MOVING BELOW THE
WAIST!
IT'S UNCHRISTIAN!

WAIST!
IT'S UNCHRISTIAN!
IT'S UNAMERICAN!

IT'S UNCHRISTIAN!
IT'S UNAMERICAN!
IT'S DEVIL MUSIC!

IT'S UNAMERICAN!
IT'S DEVIL MUSIC!
YOU LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF WILD

IT'S DEVIL MUSIC!
YOU LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF WILD
ZULUS WRIGGLING AND WRITHING TO

YOU LOOK LIKE A BUNCH OF WILD
ZULUS WRIGGLING AND WRITHING TO
SOME KIND OF CRAZY VOODOO

ZULUS WRIGGLING AND WRITHING TO
SOME KIND OF CRAZY VOODOO
TOM-TOMS!

SOME KIND OF CRAZY VOODOO
TOM-TOMS!
WHAT ARE YOU... NORMAL, HEALTHY

TOM-TOMS!
WHAT ARE YOU... NORMAL, HEALTHY
TEENAGERS OR A BUNCH OF SAVAGE

WHAT ARE YOU... NORMAL, HEALTHY
TEENAGERS OR A BUNCH OF SAVAGE
HOTTENTOTS?!

TEENAGERS OR A BUNCH OF SAVAGE
HOTTENTOTS?!
THIS IS A GYMNASIUM, NOT A

HOTTENTOTS?!
THIS IS A GYMNASIUM, NOT A
JUNGLE!

THIS IS A GYMNASIUM, NOT A
JUNGLE!
WELL, IT'S ONLY ROCK 'N'

JUNGLE!
WELL, IT'S ONLY ROCK 'N'
ROLL!

WELL, IT'S ONLY ROCK 'N'
ROLL!
IT MAY START WITH ROCK 'N'

ROLL!
IT MAY START WITH ROCK 'N'
ROLL, YOUNG LADY, BUT YOU KNOW

IT MAY START WITH ROCK 'N'
ROLL, YOUNG LADY, BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT IT ENDS UP?

ROLL, YOUNG LADY, BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT IT ENDS UP?
IT ENDS UP WITH DUNGAREES,

WHAT IT ENDS UP?
IT ENDS UP WITH DUNGAREES,
INTERRACIAL DATING, AND BEER!

IT ENDS UP WITH DUNGAREES,
INTERRACIAL DATING, AND BEER!
YOU CAN PACK UP, DACEY, AND

INTERRACIAL DATING, AND BEER!
YOU CAN PACK UP, DACEY, AND
FORGET ABOUT THAT $25!

YOU CAN PACK UP, DACEY, AND
FORGET ABOUT THAT $25!
THAT'S OKAY WITH ME, MOTOR

FORGET ABOUT THAT $25!
THAT'S OKAY WITH ME, MOTOR
FACE.

THAT'S OKAY WITH ME, MOTOR
FACE.
LET'S GO, CRACKERS.

FACE.
LET'S GO, CRACKERS.
ALL RIGHT, THIS SOCK HOP IS

LET'S GO, CRACKERS.
ALL RIGHT, THIS SOCK HOP IS
OFFICIALLY OVER.

ALL RIGHT, THIS SOCK HOP IS
OFFICIALLY OVER.
I WANT PEOPLE IN ALPHABETICAL

OFFICIALLY OVER.
I WANT PEOPLE IN ALPHABETICAL
ORDER HERE IN FRONT OF ME, LINED

I WANT PEOPLE IN ALPHABETICAL
ORDER HERE IN FRONT OF ME, LINED
UP SINGLE FILE TO PICK UP YOUR

ORDER HERE IN FRONT OF ME, LINED
UP SINGLE FILE TO PICK UP YOUR
SHOES ON THE WAY OUT, AND YOU'RE

UP SINGLE FILE TO PICK UP YOUR
SHOES ON THE WAY OUT, AND YOU'RE
ALL IN DETENTION TILL THE END OF

SHOES ON THE WAY OUT, AND YOU'RE
ALL IN DETENTION TILL THE END OF
THE MONTH.

ALL IN DETENTION TILL THE END OF
THE MONTH.
[STUDENTS GROAN]

THE MONTH.
[STUDENTS GROAN]
HEY!

[STUDENTS GROAN]
HEY!
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, TEACH.

HEY!
I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, TEACH.
YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO STOP THIS

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, TEACH.
YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO STOP THIS
SOCK HOP, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO

YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO STOP THIS
SOCK HOP, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO
STOP ROCK 'N' ROLL, BUT YOU'RE

SOCK HOP, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO
STOP ROCK 'N' ROLL, BUT YOU'RE
NOT GONNA STOP SONNY DACEY, AND

STOP ROCK 'N' ROLL, BUT YOU'RE
NOT GONNA STOP SONNY DACEY, AND
DON'T YOU FORGET IT.

NOT GONNA STOP SONNY DACEY, AND
DON'T YOU FORGET IT.
YEAH!

DON'T YOU FORGET IT.
YEAH!
[APPLAUSE]

YEAH!
[APPLAUSE]
SINGLE FILE RIGHT HERE,

[APPLAUSE]
SINGLE FILE RIGHT HERE,
EVERYONE, SINGLE FILE!

SINGLE FILE RIGHT HERE,
EVERYONE, SINGLE FILE!
SINGLE FILE!

[HORN HONKS]
DON'T CALL ME, BUDDY.
IT'LL BE A COLLECT CALL.

DON'T CALL ME, BUDDY.
IT'LL BE A COLLECT CALL.
I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

IT'LL BE A COLLECT CALL.
I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
DON'T CALL ME.

I'LL TELL YOU THAT.
DON'T CALL ME.
IT'S GONNA BE COLLECT.

DON'T CALL ME.
IT'S GONNA BE COLLECT.
YOU SEE WHO PAYS FOR THAT.

IT'S GONNA BE COLLECT.
YOU SEE WHO PAYS FOR THAT.
I'M NOT GONNA PAY.

YOU SEE WHO PAYS FOR THAT.
I'M NOT GONNA PAY.
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]

I'M NOT GONNA PAY.
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]
[HORNS HONKING]

[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]
[HORNS HONKING]
I'M BAD.

[HORNS HONKING]
I'M BAD.
DON'T MESS WITH ME.

I'M BAD.
DON'T MESS WITH ME.
YOU WANT SOME OF ME?

DON'T MESS WITH ME.
YOU WANT SOME OF ME?
COME ON.

YOU WANT SOME OF ME?
COME ON.
I'M BAD. YOU'LL SEE ABOUT IT.

COME ON.
I'M BAD. YOU'LL SEE ABOUT IT.
IF SOMEBODY WANTS TO SEE ABOUT

I'M BAD. YOU'LL SEE ABOUT IT.
IF SOMEBODY WANTS TO SEE ABOUT
IT, I'M RIGHT HERE.

IF SOMEBODY WANTS TO SEE ABOUT
IT, I'M RIGHT HERE.
LOOKING FOR ME, YOU'RE LOOKING

IT, I'M RIGHT HERE.
LOOKING FOR ME, YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR A COLLECT CALL, YOU'RE

LOOKING FOR ME, YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR A COLLECT CALL, YOU'RE
LOOKING TO PAY FOR IT.

FOR A COLLECT CALL, YOU'RE
LOOKING TO PAY FOR IT.
'CAUSE YOU CALL ME, I'M NOT

LOOKING TO PAY FOR IT.
'CAUSE YOU CALL ME, I'M NOT
GONNA PAY.

'CAUSE YOU CALL ME, I'M NOT
GONNA PAY.
DON'T MESS WITH ME. I'M BAD.

GONNA PAY.
DON'T MESS WITH ME. I'M BAD.
WHAT IN THE BEDEVILMENT OF ALL

DON'T MESS WITH ME. I'M BAD.
WHAT IN THE BEDEVILMENT OF ALL
THAT IS SACRED?

WHAT IN THE BEDEVILMENT OF ALL
THAT IS SACRED?
NOW, THIS LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD

THAT IS SACRED?
NOW, THIS LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD
DRINK IT.

NOW, THIS LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD
DRINK IT.
THAT WOULD BE...

DRINK IT.
THAT WOULD BE...
SMELLS A LITTLE PROOF TO ME,

THAT WOULD BE...
SMELLS A LITTLE PROOF TO ME,
BUT...

SMELLS A LITTLE PROOF TO ME,
BUT...
WHOA! THERE'S A KICK THERE!

BUT...
WHOA! THERE'S A KICK THERE!
YEAH!

WHOA! THERE'S A KICK THERE!
YEAH!
AND IT'S SWEET, A LITTLE BIT

YEAH!
AND IT'S SWEET, A LITTLE BIT
SWEET FOR MY TASTE, BUT THAT IS

AND IT'S SWEET, A LITTLE BIT
SWEET FOR MY TASTE, BUT THAT IS
NOT TOO SHABBY, NOT TOO SHABBY

SWEET FOR MY TASTE, BUT THAT IS
NOT TOO SHABBY, NOT TOO SHABBY
AT ALL.

NOT TOO SHABBY, NOT TOO SHABBY
AT ALL.
BUT, OH, IT IS HAVING AN EFFECT.

AT ALL.
BUT, OH, IT IS HAVING AN EFFECT.
THIS MAY HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE TO

BUT, OH, IT IS HAVING AN EFFECT.
THIS MAY HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE TO
DRINK THIS STUFF.

THIS MAY HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE TO
DRINK THIS STUFF.
UH-OH.

DRINK THIS STUFF.
UH-OH.
HO HO HO HO.

UH-OH.
HO HO HO HO.
[MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS]

HO HO HO HO.
[MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS]
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

[MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS]
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
WE CAN'T HOLD THAT AUDIENCE MUCH

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
WE CAN'T HOLD THAT AUDIENCE MUCH
LONGER.

WE CAN'T HOLD THAT AUDIENCE MUCH
LONGER.
YOU GOT TO GET OUT THERE.

LONGER.
YOU GOT TO GET OUT THERE.
NOW COME ON.

YOU GOT TO GET OUT THERE.
NOW COME ON.
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

NOW COME ON.
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
COME ON NOW!

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
COME ON NOW!
OUT OF THE WAY!

COME ON NOW!
OUT OF THE WAY!
GET OUT OF THE WAY!

OUT OF THE WAY!
GET OUT OF THE WAY!
TAKE TWO OR THREE DEEP BREATHS.

GET OUT OF THE WAY!
TAKE TWO OR THREE DEEP BREATHS.
HEY, BREATHE. BREATHE. BREATHE.

TAKE TWO OR THREE DEEP BREATHS.
HEY, BREATHE. BREATHE. BREATHE.
YEAH!

HEY, BREATHE. BREATHE. BREATHE.
YEAH!
BREAK A LEG.

YEAH!
BREAK A LEG.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

BREAK A LEG.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

O, FOR A MUSE OF FIRE...
THAT WOULD ASCEND THE BRIGHTEST
HEAVEN OF INVENTION...

THAT WOULD ASCEND THE BRIGHTEST
HEAVEN OF INVENTION...
A KINGDOM FOR A STAGE...

HEAVEN OF INVENTION...
A KINGDOM FOR A STAGE...
PRINCES TO ACT, AND MONARCHS TO

A KINGDOM FOR A STAGE...
PRINCES TO ACT, AND MONARCHS TO
BEHOLD THE SWELLING SCENE.

PRINCES TO ACT, AND MONARCHS TO
BEHOLD THE SWELLING SCENE.
BECAUSE ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE

BEHOLD THE SWELLING SCENE.
BECAUSE ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE
AND ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN MERELY

BECAUSE ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE
AND ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN MERELY
PLAYERS.

AND ALL THE MEN AND WOMEN MERELY
PLAYERS.
BUT LOVE IS BLIND.

PLAYERS.
BUT LOVE IS BLIND.
AND, LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE

BUT LOVE IS BLIND.
AND, LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE
MORTALS BE.

AND, LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE
MORTALS BE.
HATH NOT A JEW EYES?

MORTALS BE.
HATH NOT A JEW EYES?
ALAS... POOR YORICK.

HATH NOT A JEW EYES?
ALAS... POOR YORICK.
FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN.

ALAS... POOR YORICK.
FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN.
ALL'S WELL THAT END'S WELL.

FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN.
ALL'S WELL THAT END'S WELL.
PARTING...

ALL'S WELL THAT END'S WELL.
PARTING...
IS SUCH...

PARTING...
IS SUCH...
SWEET SORROW...

IS SUCH...
SWEET SORROW...
THAT I SHALL SAY GOODNIGHT...

SWEET SORROW...
THAT I SHALL SAY GOODNIGHT...
TILL IT BE MORROW.

THAT I SHALL SAY GOODNIGHT...
TILL IT BE MORROW.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS]
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

[Irish accent] HEY!
COME ON! WAKE UP, THERE!
COME ON!

COME ON! WAKE UP, THERE!
COME ON!
WAKE UP!

COME ON!
WAKE UP!
COME ON!

WAKE UP!
COME ON!
GET GOING.

COME ON!
GET GOING.
GET OFF MY BEAT.

GET GOING.
GET OFF MY BEAT.
[HORN HONKS]

GET OFF MY BEAT.
[HORN HONKS]
COME ON!

[HORN HONKS]
COME ON!
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]

COME ON!
[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
A ROSE, RIGHT?

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
A ROSE, RIGHT?
YEAH, BUT WHAT IF THEY DIDN'T

A ROSE, RIGHT?
YEAH, BUT WHAT IF THEY DIDN'T
CALL IT THAT?

YEAH, BUT WHAT IF THEY DIDN'T
CALL IT THAT?
IT WOULD STILL BE JUST AS

CALL IT THAT?
IT WOULD STILL BE JUST AS
BEAUTIFUL.

IT WOULD STILL BE JUST AS
BEAUTIFUL.
[CHUCKLES]

BEAUTIFUL.
[CHUCKLES]
THAT'S A JOKE THERE.

[HARMONICA PLAYING]

YEP.
HOTTER THAN A DOG'S BREATH OUT
HERE.

HOTTER THAN A DOG'S BREATH OUT
HERE.
SLOPJOCKEY MAN COMING!

HERE.
SLOPJOCKEY MAN COMING!
HERE COME THE SLOPJOCKEY MAN!

SLOPJOCKEY MAN COMING!
HERE COME THE SLOPJOCKEY MAN!
SLOPJOCKEY MAN ABOUT HALF-MILE

HERE COME THE SLOPJOCKEY MAN!
SLOPJOCKEY MAN ABOUT HALF-MILE
DOWN THE ROAD, HEADING THIS WAY

SLOPJOCKEY MAN ABOUT HALF-MILE
DOWN THE ROAD, HEADING THIS WAY
IN.

DOWN THE ROAD, HEADING THIS WAY
IN.
WHAT'S A SLOPJOCKEY, PAPA?

IN.
WHAT'S A SLOPJOCKEY, PAPA?
SLOPJOCKEY, HUH?

WHAT'S A SLOPJOCKEY, PAPA?
SLOPJOCKEY, HUH?
YEAH, WE USED TO CALL THEM

SLOPJOCKEY, HUH?
YEAH, WE USED TO CALL THEM
MUCK DIVERS, MUCK JUMPERS,

YEAH, WE USED TO CALL THEM
MUCK DIVERS, MUCK JUMPERS,
CRUD DIVERS, SCUM JUNKIES,

MUCK DIVERS, MUCK JUMPERS,
CRUD DIVERS, SCUM JUNKIES,
SLIME GUPPIES, ALL THE SAME.

CRUD DIVERS, SCUM JUNKIES,
SLIME GUPPIES, ALL THE SAME.
I AIN'T SEEN A MUCK JUMPER SINCE

SLIME GUPPIES, ALL THE SAME.
I AIN'T SEEN A MUCK JUMPER SINCE
I WAS A BOY.

I AIN'T SEEN A MUCK JUMPER SINCE
I WAS A BOY.
YEAH, IT'S THE HEAT WHAT

I WAS A BOY.
YEAH, IT'S THE HEAT WHAT
BRINGS THEM OUT.

YEAH, IT'S THE HEAT WHAT
BRINGS THEM OUT.
THEY LOVE IT IN THE HOT.

BRINGS THEM OUT.
THEY LOVE IT IN THE HOT.
BUT WHAT DO THEY DO, PAPA?

THEY LOVE IT IN THE HOT.
BUT WHAT DO THEY DO, PAPA?
NO EARTHLY GOOD I COULD EVER

BUT WHAT DO THEY DO, PAPA?
NO EARTHLY GOOD I COULD EVER
TELL.

NO EARTHLY GOOD I COULD EVER
TELL.
IT'S A POWERFUL ODD WAY TO MAKE

TELL.
IT'S A POWERFUL ODD WAY TO MAKE
A LIVING.

IT'S A POWERFUL ODD WAY TO MAKE
A LIVING.
IF HE NEEDS WATER, GIVE IT TO

A LIVING.
IF HE NEEDS WATER, GIVE IT TO
HIM... AND GET HIM ON HIS WAY.

IF HE NEEDS WATER, GIVE IT TO
HIM... AND GET HIM ON HIS WAY.
THE COW'S STUCK AGAIN, PAPA.

HIM... AND GET HIM ON HIS WAY.
THE COW'S STUCK AGAIN, PAPA.
YEAH, IT'S ALL TANGLED UP IN

THE COW'S STUCK AGAIN, PAPA.
YEAH, IT'S ALL TANGLED UP IN
THE WIRE.

YEAH, IT'S ALL TANGLED UP IN
THE WIRE.
WELL, GET IT OUT!

THE WIRE.
WELL, GET IT OUT!
WELL, IT'S UPSIDE DOWN IN A

WELL, GET IT OUT!
WELL, IT'S UPSIDE DOWN IN A
RAVINE.

WELL, IT'S UPSIDE DOWN IN A
RAVINE.
IT'S IN THE MUD, AND THERE'S

RAVINE.
IT'S IN THE MUD, AND THERE'S
COW FLOP ALL OVER THE PLACE,

IT'S IN THE MUD, AND THERE'S
COW FLOP ALL OVER THE PLACE,
PA.

COW FLOP ALL OVER THE PLACE,
PA.
YEAH, IT'S KICKING, MOOING,

PA.
YEAH, IT'S KICKING, MOOING,
AND IT WEIGHS A TON.

YEAH, IT'S KICKING, MOOING,
AND IT WEIGHS A TON.
IT'S A BIG, HEAVY, DANGEROUS,

AND IT WEIGHS A TON.
IT'S A BIG, HEAVY, DANGEROUS,
ANGRY, KNOTTED MESS.

IT'S A BIG, HEAVY, DANGEROUS,
ANGRY, KNOTTED MESS.
CAN'T WE JUST LEAVE IT THERE?

ANGRY, KNOTTED MESS.
CAN'T WE JUST LEAVE IT THERE?
IT'S SO MUCH EASIER, PA.

CAN'T WE JUST LEAVE IT THERE?
IT'S SO MUCH EASIER, PA.
PLEASE?

IT'S SO MUCH EASIER, PA.
PLEASE?
YOU TWO DON'T HAVE THE

PLEASE?
YOU TWO DON'T HAVE THE
AMBITION GOD GAVE SALTPETER.

YOU TWO DON'T HAVE THE
AMBITION GOD GAVE SALTPETER.
PERICLES?

AMBITION GOD GAVE SALTPETER.
PERICLES?
HMM?

PERICLES?
HMM?
GET A ROPE, A BASEBALL BAT,

HMM?
GET A ROPE, A BASEBALL BAT,
HITCH UP THE TEAM.

GET A ROPE, A BASEBALL BAT,
HITCH UP THE TEAM.
UH, SHOULD I CHANGE MY

HITCH UP THE TEAM.
UH, SHOULD I CHANGE MY
CLOTHES FOR THIS?

UH, SHOULD I CHANGE MY
CLOTHES FOR THIS?
AH, COME ON.

CLOTHES FOR THIS?
AH, COME ON.
ALL RIGHT.

AH, COME ON.
ALL RIGHT.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE MILK

ALL RIGHT.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE MILK
THAT MUCH.

I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE MILK
THAT MUCH.
YOU LAZY COUPLE OF LOUTS.

THAT MUCH.
YOU LAZY COUPLE OF LOUTS.
HELLO, THERE.

YOU LAZY COUPLE OF LOUTS.
HELLO, THERE.
I'VE BEEN TRAVELING A LONG WAY.

HELLO, THERE.
I'VE BEEN TRAVELING A LONG WAY.
YOU MIND IF I SIT DOWN AND REST

I'VE BEEN TRAVELING A LONG WAY.
YOU MIND IF I SIT DOWN AND REST
MY WEARY SELF ON YOUR PORCH?

YOU MIND IF I SIT DOWN AND REST
MY WEARY SELF ON YOUR PORCH?
OH, IT'S THE SLOPJOCKEY MAN.

MY WEARY SELF ON YOUR PORCH?
OH, IT'S THE SLOPJOCKEY MAN.
PAPA SAID WE WAS TO BE CORDIAL

OH, IT'S THE SLOPJOCKEY MAN.
PAPA SAID WE WAS TO BE CORDIAL
TO YOU AND GIVE YOU SOME WATER

PAPA SAID WE WAS TO BE CORDIAL
TO YOU AND GIVE YOU SOME WATER
AND SEND YOU ON YOUR WAY.

TO YOU AND GIVE YOU SOME WATER
AND SEND YOU ON YOUR WAY.
WELL, THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH.

AND SEND YOU ON YOUR WAY.
WELL, THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH.
I WOULDN'T WANT TO EXACT ANY

WELL, THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH.
I WOULDN'T WANT TO EXACT ANY
KINDNESS THAT WOULDN'T DO ME,

I WOULDN'T WANT TO EXACT ANY
KINDNESS THAT WOULDN'T DO ME,
MA'AM.

KINDNESS THAT WOULDN'T DO ME,
MA'AM.
I APPRECIATE IT.

MA'AM.
I APPRECIATE IT.
MY BROTHER AND ME ARE

I APPRECIATE IT.
MY BROTHER AND ME ARE
STUDYING TO BE RODEO CLOWNS.

MY BROTHER AND ME ARE
STUDYING TO BE RODEO CLOWNS.
WE'RE... WE'RE GONNA MAKE OUR

STUDYING TO BE RODEO CLOWNS.
WE'RE... WE'RE GONNA MAKE OUR
LIVING JUMPING INSIDE OF BARRELS

WE'RE... WE'RE GONNA MAKE OUR
LIVING JUMPING INSIDE OF BARRELS
AND GETTING BUTTED AROUND BY

LIVING JUMPING INSIDE OF BARRELS
AND GETTING BUTTED AROUND BY
BULLS.

AND GETTING BUTTED AROUND BY
BULLS.
WELL, THAT'S FINE, STEADY

BULLS.
WELL, THAT'S FINE, STEADY
WORK, BOYS, PUNCHING THE CLOCK

WELL, THAT'S FINE, STEADY
WORK, BOYS, PUNCHING THE CLOCK
LIKE THAT, BUT ME, I'M PARTIAL

WORK, BOYS, PUNCHING THE CLOCK
LIKE THAT, BUT ME, I'M PARTIAL
TO TRAVELING, MOVEMENT.

LIKE THAT, BUT ME, I'M PARTIAL
TO TRAVELING, MOVEMENT.
I'LL GO GET YOU YOUR WATER.

TO TRAVELING, MOVEMENT.
I'LL GO GET YOU YOUR WATER.
THANK YOU, MA'AM.

I'LL GO GET YOU YOUR WATER.
THANK YOU, MA'AM.
WHO MIGHT THAT FINE WOMAN BE?

THANK YOU, MA'AM.
WHO MIGHT THAT FINE WOMAN BE?
THAT'S OUR SISTER, REGAN.

WHO MIGHT THAT FINE WOMAN BE?
THAT'S OUR SISTER, REGAN.
OH.

THAT'S OUR SISTER, REGAN.
OH.
SHE AIN'T GOT NO MAN.

OH.
SHE AIN'T GOT NO MAN.
THEY COME COURTING, BUT SHE JUST

SHE AIN'T GOT NO MAN.
THEY COME COURTING, BUT SHE JUST
CHASES THEM AWAY.

THEY COME COURTING, BUT SHE JUST
CHASES THEM AWAY.
IT IS HOT OUT HERE IN THE

CHASES THEM AWAY.
IT IS HOT OUT HERE IN THE
AIR.

IT IS HOT OUT HERE IN THE
AIR.
HERE YOU GO.

AIR.
HERE YOU GO.
[SIGHS]

HERE YOU GO.
[SIGHS]
I'LL GIVE THIS A TASTE.

[SIGHS]
I'LL GIVE THIS A TASTE.
THANK YOU, REGAN.

I'LL GIVE THIS A TASTE.
THANK YOU, REGAN.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

THANK YOU, REGAN.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
SHE'S NOT FAIR TO OUTWARD

YOU'RE WELCOME.
SHE'S NOT FAIR TO OUTWARD
VIEW, AS MANY MAIDENS BE.

SHE'S NOT FAIR TO OUTWARD
VIEW, AS MANY MAIDENS BE.
HER LOVELINESS I NEVER KNEW TILL

VIEW, AS MANY MAIDENS BE.
HER LOVELINESS I NEVER KNEW TILL
SHE SMILED ON ME.

HER LOVELINESS I NEVER KNEW TILL
SHE SMILED ON ME.
AND THEN I SAW HER EYE WAS

SHE SMILED ON ME.
AND THEN I SAW HER EYE WAS
BRIGHT, A WELL OF LOVE, A SPRING

AND THEN I SAW HER EYE WAS
BRIGHT, A WELL OF LOVE, A SPRING
OF LIGHT.

BRIGHT, A WELL OF LOVE, A SPRING
OF LIGHT.
AND NOW HER LOOKS ARE COY AND

OF LIGHT.
AND NOW HER LOOKS ARE COY AND
COLD.

AND NOW HER LOOKS ARE COY AND
COLD.
TO MINE, THEY NE'ER REPLAY, AND

COLD.
TO MINE, THEY NE'ER REPLAY, AND
I CEASE NOT TO BEHOLD THE

TO MINE, THEY NE'ER REPLAY, AND
I CEASE NOT TO BEHOLD THE
LOVE-LIGHT IN HER EYE.

I CEASE NOT TO BEHOLD THE
LOVE-LIGHT IN HER EYE.
HER VERY FROWNS ARE SMILES OF

LOVE-LIGHT IN HER EYE.
HER VERY FROWNS ARE SMILES OF
OTHER MAIDENS ARE.

HER VERY FROWNS ARE SMILES OF
OTHER MAIDENS ARE.
WHAT DO YOU DO, SLOPJOCKEY

OTHER MAIDENS ARE.
WHAT DO YOU DO, SLOPJOCKEY
MAN?

WHAT DO YOU DO, SLOPJOCKEY
MAN?
I JUST TRY AND GET OUT OF

MAN?
I JUST TRY AND GET OUT OF
LIFE ALL THE FINE THINGS THE

I JUST TRY AND GET OUT OF
LIFE ALL THE FINE THINGS THE
GOOD LORD PUT IN IT.

LIFE ALL THE FINE THINGS THE
GOOD LORD PUT IN IT.
THAT'S ALL.

GOOD LORD PUT IN IT.
THAT'S ALL.
OH, SHE DON'T MEAN THAT.

THAT'S ALL.
OH, SHE DON'T MEAN THAT.
SHE MEANS... WHAT DO A

OH, SHE DON'T MEAN THAT.
SHE MEANS... WHAT DO A
SLOPJOCKEY DO?

SHE MEANS... WHAT DO A
SLOPJOCKEY DO?
YOU REFER TO MY TITLE.

SLOPJOCKEY DO?
YOU REFER TO MY TITLE.
WELL, FOR 85 CENTS, I'LL JUMP IN

YOU REFER TO MY TITLE.
WELL, FOR 85 CENTS, I'LL JUMP IN
YOUR CESSPOOL WITH ALL MY

WELL, FOR 85 CENTS, I'LL JUMP IN
YOUR CESSPOOL WITH ALL MY
CLOTHES ON.

YOUR CESSPOOL WITH ALL MY
CLOTHES ON.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]

CLOTHES ON.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
FOR 40 CENTS, I'LL DIVE FROM

[EXHALES SHARPLY]
FOR 40 CENTS, I'LL DIVE FROM
A TREE INTO YOUR PIG STY.

FOR 40 CENTS, I'LL DIVE FROM
A TREE INTO YOUR PIG STY.
WHAT IS THAT, SOME KIND OF

A TREE INTO YOUR PIG STY.
WHAT IS THAT, SOME KIND OF
VOODOO THAT MAKES IT RAIN OR

WHAT IS THAT, SOME KIND OF
VOODOO THAT MAKES IT RAIN OR
MAKES THE WEATHER COOL OFF AND

VOODOO THAT MAKES IT RAIN OR
MAKES THE WEATHER COOL OFF AND
THE CROPS GROW?

MAKES THE WEATHER COOL OFF AND
THE CROPS GROW?
NO, IT BRINGS GOOD LUCK OR

THE CROPS GROW?
NO, IT BRINGS GOOD LUCK OR
SOMETHING, LIKE A MAGIC SPELL.

NO, IT BRINGS GOOD LUCK OR
SOMETHING, LIKE A MAGIC SPELL.
IS THAT IT?

SOMETHING, LIKE A MAGIC SPELL.
IS THAT IT?
NO, NO.

IS THAT IT?
NO, NO.
YOU MEAN YOU JUMP IN OUR

NO, NO.
YOU MEAN YOU JUMP IN OUR
CESSPOOL, AND THAT'S IT?

YOU MEAN YOU JUMP IN OUR
CESSPOOL, AND THAT'S IT?
WITH MY CLOTHES ON, THAT'S

CESSPOOL, AND THAT'S IT?
WITH MY CLOTHES ON, THAT'S
RIGHT.

WITH MY CLOTHES ON, THAT'S
RIGHT.
[LAUGHTER]

RIGHT.
[LAUGHTER]
WELL, WHAT KIND OF A DAMN

[LAUGHTER]
WELL, WHAT KIND OF A DAMN
FOOL THING IS THAT?

WELL, WHAT KIND OF A DAMN
FOOL THING IS THAT?
IT'S WHAT I DO, MA'AM.

FOOL THING IS THAT?
IT'S WHAT I DO, MA'AM.
MY FATHER DID IT BEFORE ME AND

IT'S WHAT I DO, MA'AM.
MY FATHER DID IT BEFORE ME AND
HIS BEFORE HIM, SO HERE I AM.

MY FATHER DID IT BEFORE ME AND
HIS BEFORE HIM, SO HERE I AM.
I'M A SLOPJOCKEY.

HIS BEFORE HIM, SO HERE I AM.
I'M A SLOPJOCKEY.
YOU JUST GO KNOCKING ON

I'M A SLOPJOCKEY.
YOU JUST GO KNOCKING ON
PEOPLE'S DOORS AND ASKING THEM

YOU JUST GO KNOCKING ON
PEOPLE'S DOORS AND ASKING THEM
IF YOU CAN TAKE A SWIM WITH

PEOPLE'S DOORS AND ASKING THEM
IF YOU CAN TAKE A SWIM WITH
THEIR TOILET FISH?

IF YOU CAN TAKE A SWIM WITH
THEIR TOILET FISH?
IS THAT RIGHT?

THEIR TOILET FISH?
IS THAT RIGHT?
FOR 85 CENTS, MY GOOD MAN,

IS THAT RIGHT?
FOR 85 CENTS, MY GOOD MAN,
YES.

FOR 85 CENTS, MY GOOD MAN,
YES.
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A

YES.
I'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A
FOUL THING IN MY LIFE.

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A
FOUL THING IN MY LIFE.
THAT'S YOUR JOB?

FOUL THING IN MY LIFE.
THAT'S YOUR JOB?
THAT'S WHAT YOU DO?

THAT'S YOUR JOB?
THAT'S WHAT YOU DO?
IT'S A JOB.

THAT'S WHAT YOU DO?
IT'S A JOB.
IT'S BETTER THAN SOME AND NO

IT'S A JOB.
IT'S BETTER THAN SOME AND NO
WORSE THAN OTHERS, YOUNG MAN.

IT'S BETTER THAN SOME AND NO
WORSE THAN OTHERS, YOUNG MAN.
IT'S AN ABOMINATION, A MAN

WORSE THAN OTHERS, YOUNG MAN.
IT'S AN ABOMINATION, A MAN
SUCH AS YOURSELF SPENDING HIS

IT'S AN ABOMINATION, A MAN
SUCH AS YOURSELF SPENDING HIS
DAYS DOING THAT.

SUCH AS YOURSELF SPENDING HIS
DAYS DOING THAT.
IT'S WHAT I DO.

DAYS DOING THAT.
IT'S WHAT I DO.
I DON'T QUESTION IT.

IT'S WHAT I DO.
I DON'T QUESTION IT.
A MAN'S GOT TO DO WHAT HE'S GOT

I DON'T QUESTION IT.
A MAN'S GOT TO DO WHAT HE'S GOT
TO DO.

A MAN'S GOT TO DO WHAT HE'S GOT
TO DO.
HOW MUCH CHANGE YOU GOT?

TO DO.
HOW MUCH CHANGE YOU GOT?
OH, DON'T YOU DARE, YOU TWO.

HOW MUCH CHANGE YOU GOT?
OH, DON'T YOU DARE, YOU TWO.
NOW, COME ON.

OH, DON'T YOU DARE, YOU TWO.
NOW, COME ON.
COME ON.

NOW, COME ON.
COME ON.
NO, THAT'S A NICKEL.

COME ON.
NO, THAT'S A NICKEL.
LOOK, I FORBID THIS.

NO, THAT'S A NICKEL.
LOOK, I FORBID THIS.
BE QUIET. STAY OUT OF THIS.

LOOK, I FORBID THIS.
BE QUIET. STAY OUT OF THIS.
83, 84, 85. GOT IT.

BE QUIET. STAY OUT OF THIS.
83, 84, 85. GOT IT.
OKAY.

83, 84, 85. GOT IT.
OKAY.
OKAY, MUCK JUMPER, JUMP IN THE

OKAY.
OKAY, MUCK JUMPER, JUMP IN THE
MUCK.

OKAY, MUCK JUMPER, JUMP IN THE
MUCK.
[LAUGHS]

MUCK.
[LAUGHS]
WOULD YOU HOLD MY BOX FOR ME?

[LAUGHS]
WOULD YOU HOLD MY BOX FOR ME?
I'LL HOLD IT.

WOULD YOU HOLD MY BOX FOR ME?
I'LL HOLD IT.
OH, YOU BOYS!

I'LL HOLD IT.
OH, YOU BOYS!
IT'S RIGHT THERE BY THE SIDE

OH, YOU BOYS!
IT'S RIGHT THERE BY THE SIDE
OF THE HOUSE, RIGHT THERE.

IT'S RIGHT THERE BY THE SIDE
OF THE HOUSE, RIGHT THERE.
OH, DOESN'T ANYBODY HAVE ANY

OF THE HOUSE, RIGHT THERE.
OH, DOESN'T ANYBODY HAVE ANY
SENSE?

OH, DOESN'T ANYBODY HAVE ANY
SENSE?
IT'S 97 DEGREES!

SENSE?
IT'S 97 DEGREES!
AT LEAST YOU COULD WAIT TILL

IT'S 97 DEGREES!
AT LEAST YOU COULD WAIT TILL
IT'S COOLER OFF!

AT LEAST YOU COULD WAIT TILL
IT'S COOLER OFF!
HE'LL DIE!

IT'S COOLER OFF!
HE'LL DIE!
THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!

HE'LL DIE!
THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!
HE'S GONNA DO IT!

THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR!
HE'S GONNA DO IT!
OH, NOW...

HE'S GONNA DO IT!
OH, NOW...
IT'S JUST A JOB, LADY!

OH, NOW...
IT'S JUST A JOB, LADY!
[SPLASHING]

IT'S JUST A JOB, LADY!
[SPLASHING]
OH!

[SPLASHING]
OH!
[LAUGHTER]

OH!
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
WELL, YOU... YOU DONE WHAT YOU

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
WELL, YOU... YOU DONE WHAT YOU
SAID YOU'D DO, SLOPJOCKEY.

WELL, YOU... YOU DONE WHAT YOU
SAID YOU'D DO, SLOPJOCKEY.
YEAH, AND IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR

SAID YOU'D DO, SLOPJOCKEY.
YEAH, AND IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR
YOU TO BE MOVING ON, TOO.

YEAH, AND IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR
YOU TO BE MOVING ON, TOO.
YOU GOT YOUR 85 CENTS.

YOU TO BE MOVING ON, TOO.
YOU GOT YOUR 85 CENTS.
WHOO!

YOU GOT YOUR 85 CENTS.
WHOO!
OH!

WHOO!
OH!
WELL, IT'S 85 CENTS TO JUMP

OH!
WELL, IT'S 85 CENTS TO JUMP
INTO THE CESSPOOL AND $40 TO

WELL, IT'S 85 CENTS TO JUMP
INTO THE CESSPOOL AND $40 TO
KEEP ME MOVING ON.

INTO THE CESSPOOL AND $40 TO
KEEP ME MOVING ON.
PA, YOU GOT $40?

KEEP ME MOVING ON.
PA, YOU GOT $40?
PA?

PA, YOU GOT $40?
PA?
YOO-HOO!

THE SHOW IS OUT OF CONTROL,
BUT STAY TUNED.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I GOT TWO OF MY PARTNERS WITH ME
HERE.
ON VIOLIN, MR. RICK DANKO...

HERE.
ON VIOLIN, MR. RICK DANKO...
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ON VIOLIN, MR. RICK DANKO...
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
FROM CANADA...

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
FROM CANADA...
AND FROM WOODSTOCK,

FROM CANADA...
AND FROM WOODSTOCK,
MR. PAUL BUTTERFIELD ON THE

AND FROM WOODSTOCK,
MR. PAUL BUTTERFIELD ON THE
HARMONICA, AND THE WONDERFUL

MR. PAUL BUTTERFIELD ON THE
HARMONICA, AND THE WONDERFUL
BAND, OF COURSE.

HARMONICA, AND THE WONDERFUL
BAND, OF COURSE.
ONE, TWO!

BAND, OF COURSE.
ONE, TWO!
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!

ONE, TWO!
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
[INTRO TO BOB WILLIS AND

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
[INTRO TO BOB WILLIS AND
TOMMY DUNCAN'S

[INTRO TO BOB WILLIS AND
TOMMY DUNCAN'S
"STAY A LITTLE LONGER" PLAYS]

[TOMMY DUNCAN'S
"STAY A LITTLE LONGER" PLAYS]
OH!

WHOA!
♪ AND IF YOU'RE GONNA GO HOME,
DON'T GO BY THE MILL ♪

♪ AND IF YOU'RE GONNA GO HOME,
DON'T GO BY THE MILL ♪
♪ THE BRIDGES ARE SCATTERED AT

DON'T GO BY THE MILL ♪
♪ THE BRIDGES ARE SCATTERED AT
THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL ♪

♪ THE BRIDGES ARE SCATTERED AT
THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL ♪
♪ BIG CREEK'S UP ♪

THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL ♪
♪ BIG CREEK'S UP ♪
♪ THE LITTLE CREEK'S DOWN ♪

♪ BIG CREEK'S UP ♪
♪ THE LITTLE CREEK'S DOWN ♪
♪ I PLOW MY CORN WITH MY DOUBLE

♪ THE LITTLE CREEK'S DOWN ♪
♪ I PLOW MY CORN WITH MY DOUBLE
SHOVEL ♪

♪ I PLOW MY CORN WITH MY DOUBLE
SHOVEL ♪
♪ STAY ALL NIGHT ♪

SHOVEL ♪
♪ STAY ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪

♪ STAY ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪

♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪

♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪
♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪

♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪
♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪
♪ DON'T SEE WHY YOU CAN'T STAY ♪

♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪
♪ DON'T SEE WHY YOU CAN'T STAY ♪
PLAY ONE FOR ME, PAUL!

♪ DON'T SEE WHY YOU CAN'T STAY ♪
PLAY ONE FOR ME, PAUL!
[HARMONICA SOLO]

♪ OH, NOW GET YOUR BABY ♪
♪ AND PAT HER ON THE HEAD ♪
♪ IF SHE DON'T LIKE BISCUITS ♪

♪ AND PAT HER ON THE HEAD ♪
♪ IF SHE DON'T LIKE BISCUITS ♪
♪ YOU GIVE HER CORNBREAD ♪

♪ IF SHE DON'T LIKE BISCUITS ♪
♪ YOU GIVE HER CORNBREAD ♪
♪ GIRLS DOWN IN TULSA ♪

♪ YOU GIVE HER CORNBREAD ♪
♪ GIRLS DOWN IN TULSA ♪
♪ THEY GET HALF-GROWN ♪

♪ GIRLS DOWN IN TULSA ♪
♪ THEY GET HALF-GROWN ♪
♪ WHILE THEY JUMP ON THE MEN

♪ THEY GET HALF-GROWN ♪
♪ WHILE THEY JUMP ON THE MEN
LIKE A DOG ON A BONE ♪

♪ WHILE THEY JUMP ON THE MEN
LIKE A DOG ON A BONE ♪
♪ STAY ALL NIGHT ♪

LIKE A DOG ON A BONE ♪
♪ STAY ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪

♪ STAY ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪

♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪

♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪
♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪

♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪
♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪
♪ DON'T SEE WHY ♪

♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪
♪ DON'T SEE WHY ♪
GO ON WITH IT! WHOO!

♪ DON'T SEE WHY ♪
GO ON WITH IT! WHOO!
[VIOLIN SOLO]

♪ I WAS SITTING IN THE WINDOW,
AND I WAS SINGING TO MY LOVE ♪
♪ SLOP BUCKET FELL FROM THE

AND I WAS SINGING TO MY LOVE ♪
♪ SLOP BUCKET FELL FROM THE
WINDOW ABOVE ♪

♪ SLOP BUCKET FELL FROM THE
WINDOW ABOVE ♪
♪ MULE, THE GRASSHOPPER ATE SOME

WINDOW ABOVE ♪
♪ MULE, THE GRASSHOPPER ATE SOME
ICE CREAM ♪

♪ MULE, THE GRASSHOPPER ATE SOME
ICE CREAM ♪
♪ MULE GOT SICK, SO THEY LAID

ICE CREAM ♪
♪ MULE GOT SICK, SO THEY LAID
HIM ON THE GREEN ♪

♪ MULE GOT SICK, SO THEY LAID
HIM ON THE GREEN ♪
♪ STAY ALL NIGHT ♪

HIM ON THE GREEN ♪
♪ STAY ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪

♪ STAY ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪

♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪

♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪
♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪

♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪
♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪
♪ DON'T SEE WHY YOU CAN'T STAY ♪

♪ OH, STAY ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪

♪ DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪
♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪

♪ DANCE A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪
♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪

♪ PULL OFF YOUR COAT ♪
♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪
♪ DON'T SEE WHY ♪

♪ THROW IT IN THE CORNER ♪
♪ DON'T SEE WHY ♪
♪ OH, OH, OH ♪

♪ DON'T SEE WHY ♪
♪ OH, OH, OH ♪
♪ I DON'T SEE WHY ♪

♪ OH, OH, OH ♪
♪ I DON'T SEE WHY ♪
♪ YOU'LL STAY ♪

♪ I DON'T SEE WHY ♪
♪ YOU'LL STAY ♪
♪ AAH ♪

♪ YOU'LL STAY ♪
♪ AAH ♪
♪ DON'T SEE WHY ♪

♪ AAH ♪
♪ DON'T SEE WHY ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪

♪ DON'T SEE WHY ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ I DON'T SEE WHY ♪

♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ I DON'T SEE WHY ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪

♪ I DON'T SEE WHY ♪
♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH ♪

♪ STAY A LITTLE LONGER ♪
♪ WAH, WAH, WAH, WAH ♪
[BAND PLAYS FINALE]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
THANK YOU.
I'M SAYING GOOD NIGHT!

THANK YOU.
I'M SAYING GOOD NIGHT!
I'M COMING.

I'M SAYING GOOD NIGHT!
I'M COMING.
[APPLAUSE]

I'M COMING.
[APPLAUSE]
WE GOT TO GO!

[APPLAUSE]
WE GOT TO GO!
WE HAD A GOOD TIME!

WE GOT TO GO!
WE HAD A GOOD TIME!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]