Saturday Night Live (1975–…): Season 2, Episode 19 - Julian Bond/Tom Waits, Brick - full transcript

LOVES ME...
LOVES ME NOT...
HI, EMILY.

LOVES ME NOT...
HI, EMILY.
OHH!

HI, EMILY.
OHH!
OH, JANE, YOU SCARED ME!

OHH!
OH, JANE, YOU SCARED ME!
I THOUGHT IT WAS ONE OF THE BOYS

OH, JANE, YOU SCARED ME!
I THOUGHT IT WAS ONE OF THE BOYS
TRYING TO SNEAK IN THE DRESSING

I THOUGHT IT WAS ONE OF THE BOYS
TRYING TO SNEAK IN THE DRESSING
ROOM AND GET A LOOK AT MY

TRYING TO SNEAK IN THE DRESSING
ROOM AND GET A LOOK AT MY
PANTIES!

ROOM AND GET A LOOK AT MY
PANTIES!
EMILY, ARE YOU OKAY?

PANTIES!
EMILY, ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, JANE, CAN I CONFIDE IN

EMILY, ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, JANE, CAN I CONFIDE IN
YOU?

OH, JANE, CAN I CONFIDE IN
YOU?
WOMAN TO WOMAN?



YOU?
WOMAN TO WOMAN?
YES.

WOMAN TO WOMAN?
YES.
I'VE JUST MET THIS LOVELY MAN,

YES.
I'VE JUST MET THIS LOVELY MAN,
AND HE'S REALLY GOT THE BEST OF

I'VE JUST MET THIS LOVELY MAN,
AND HE'S REALLY GOT THE BEST OF
ME.

AND HE'S REALLY GOT THE BEST OF
ME.
EMILY, YOU AND A MAN?

ME.
EMILY, YOU AND A MAN?
THAT'S INCREDIBLE.

EMILY, YOU AND A MAN?
THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
WHAT'S SO INCREDIBLE ABOUT

THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
WHAT'S SO INCREDIBLE ABOUT
IT?!

WHAT'S SO INCREDIBLE ABOUT
IT?!
WELL, NOTHING... I... YOU

IT?!
WELL, NOTHING... I... YOU
KNOW, I JUST THOUGHT THAT YOU

WELL, NOTHING... I... YOU
KNOW, I JUST THOUGHT THAT YOU
WERE PAST THAT.

KNOW, I JUST THOUGHT THAT YOU
WERE PAST THAT.
JUST BECAUSE A WOMAN'S OVER

WERE PAST THAT.
JUST BECAUSE A WOMAN'S OVER
40 DOESN'T MEAN SHE CAN'T GET

JUST BECAUSE A WOMAN'S OVER
40 DOESN'T MEAN SHE CAN'T GET
HOT!



40 DOESN'T MEAN SHE CAN'T GET
HOT!
I'M SORRY.

HOT!
I'M SORRY.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

I'M SORRY.
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT.
OH, BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU

I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT.
OH, BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU
PREPARED ANYTHING FOR TONIGHT'S

OH, BY THE WAY, HAVE YOU
PREPARED ANYTHING FOR TONIGHT'S
"WEEKEND UPDATE"?

PREPARED ANYTHING FOR TONIGHT'S
"WEEKEND UPDATE"?
OH, JANE, I WAS MEANING TO

"WEEKEND UPDATE"?
OH, JANE, I WAS MEANING TO
SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT THAT.

OH, JANE, I WAS MEANING TO
SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT THAT.
NO, I HAVEN'T.

SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT THAT.
NO, I HAVEN'T.
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO

NO, I HAVEN'T.
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO
TALK ABOUT.

I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO
TALK ABOUT.
EMILY, "UPDATE" GOES ON IN A

TALK ABOUT.
EMILY, "UPDATE" GOES ON IN A
HALF AN HOUR!

EMILY, "UPDATE" GOES ON IN A
HALF AN HOUR!
WELL, I KNOW, BUT YOU SEE, I

HALF AN HOUR!
WELL, I KNOW, BUT YOU SEE, I
HAVE OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND.

WELL, I KNOW, BUT YOU SEE, I
HAVE OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND.
LIKE WHAT?

HAVE OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND.
LIKE WHAT?
LOVE.

LIKE WHAT?
LOVE.
OH, THAT'S TERRIFIC, EMILY,

LOVE.
OH, THAT'S TERRIFIC, EMILY,
BUT IT STILL DOESN'T SOLVE MY

OH, THAT'S TERRIFIC, EMILY,
BUT IT STILL DOESN'T SOLVE MY
"UPDATE" PROBLEM.

BUT IT STILL DOESN'T SOLVE MY
"UPDATE" PROBLEM.
BUT, JANE, DON'T YOU

"UPDATE" PROBLEM.
BUT, JANE, DON'T YOU
UNDERSTAND?

BUT, JANE, DON'T YOU
UNDERSTAND?
I'M IN LOVE!

UNDERSTAND?
I'M IN LOVE!
I... ALL I CAN DO IS THINK ABOUT

I'M IN LOVE!
I... ALL I CAN DO IS THINK ABOUT
HIM.

I... ALL I CAN DO IS THINK ABOUT
HIM.
I'M HOT, RED HOT!

HIM.
I'M HOT, RED HOT!
I MEAN, YOU COULD MELT BUTTER

I'M HOT, RED HOT!
I MEAN, YOU COULD MELT BUTTER
ALL OVER PARTS OF MY BODY!

I MEAN, YOU COULD MELT BUTTER
ALL OVER PARTS OF MY BODY!
I... I MEAN, MY HEART'S BEATING

ALL OVER PARTS OF MY BODY!
I... I MEAN, MY HEART'S BEATING
IN PLACE AS IT'S NEVER BEATEN

I... I MEAN, MY HEART'S BEATING
IN PLACE AS IT'S NEVER BEATEN
BEFORE!

IN PLACE AS IT'S NEVER BEATEN
BEFORE!
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

BEFORE!
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
BUT, JANE, YOU SEE, THIS MAN

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
BUT, JANE, YOU SEE, THIS MAN
REALLY BRINGS OUT THE ANIMAL IN

BUT, JANE, YOU SEE, THIS MAN
REALLY BRINGS OUT THE ANIMAL IN
ME.

REALLY BRINGS OUT THE ANIMAL IN
ME.
I MEAN, ♪ HE MAKES FEEL ♪

ME.
I MEAN, ♪ HE MAKES FEEL ♪
♪ HE MAKES ME FEEL ♪

I MEAN, ♪ HE MAKES FEEL ♪
♪ HE MAKES ME FEEL ♪
♪ HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A

♪ HE MAKES ME FEEL ♪
♪ HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A
NATIONAL WOMAN ♪

♪ HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A
NATIONAL WOMAN ♪
A NATIONAL WOMAN.

NATIONAL WOMAN ♪
A NATIONAL WOMAN.
♪ OH, BABY, WHAT YOU DONE TO

A NATIONAL WOMAN.
♪ OH, BABY, WHAT YOU DONE TO
ME ♪

♪ OH, BABY, WHAT YOU DONE TO
ME ♪
♪ MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD INSIDE ♪

ME ♪
♪ MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD INSIDE ♪
EMILY.

♪ MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD INSIDE ♪
EMILY.
EMILY!

EMILY.
EMILY!
WHAT?

EMILY!
WHAT?
HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A

WHAT?
HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A
NATURAL WOMAN, NOT NATIONAL.

HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A
NATURAL WOMAN, NOT NATIONAL.
NATURAL.

NATURAL WOMAN, NOT NATIONAL.
NATURAL.
OH!

NATURAL.
OH!
I MUST HAVE GOTTEN CARRIED AWAY.

OH!
I MUST HAVE GOTTEN CARRIED AWAY.
MM-HMM.

I MUST HAVE GOTTEN CARRIED AWAY.
MM-HMM.
OH.

MM-HMM.
OH.
I SUPPOSE NOW YOU'RE GONNA

OH.
I SUPPOSE NOW YOU'RE GONNA
SAY "NEVER MIND."

I SUPPOSE NOW YOU'RE GONNA
SAY "NEVER MIND."
OH, NO.

SAY "NEVER MIND."
OH, NO.
WHAT THEN?

OH, NO.
WHAT THEN?
I'M GONNA SAY, LIVE FROM

WHAT THEN?
I'M GONNA SAY, LIVE FROM
NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"!

I'M GONNA SAY, LIVE FROM
NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"!
[BAND PLAYS]

NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"!
[BAND PLAYS]
[APPLAUSE]

[BAND PLAYS]
[APPLAUSE]
Announcer: NBC's

[APPLAUSE]
Announcer: NBC's
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"!

Announcer: NBC's
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"!
STARRING JULIAN BOND...

WITH HIS SPECIAL GUESTS,
TOM WAITS...
BRICK...

AND THE NOT-READY-FOR-
PRIME-TIME PLAYERS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
JULIAN BOND!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
CONTINUES]
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

[CONTINUES]
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I GUESS THAT MANY OF YOU ARE

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I GUESS THAT MANY OF YOU ARE
PROBABLY WONDERING WHY A GEORGIA

I GUESS THAT MANY OF YOU ARE
PROBABLY WONDERING WHY A GEORGIA
STATE SENATOR IS HOSTING A

PROBABLY WONDERING WHY A GEORGIA
STATE SENATOR IS HOSTING A
TELEVISION COMEDY SHOW.

STATE SENATOR IS HOSTING A
TELEVISION COMEDY SHOW.
FRANKLY, EVER SINCE I CAME UP

TELEVISION COMEDY SHOW.
FRANKLY, EVER SINCE I CAME UP
HERE, I'VE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT

FRANKLY, EVER SINCE I CAME UP
HERE, I'VE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT
IT MYSELF.

HERE, I'VE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT
IT MYSELF.
A NUMBER OF POSSIBLE REASONS WHY

IT MYSELF.
A NUMBER OF POSSIBLE REASONS WHY
ENTERED MY MIND.

A NUMBER OF POSSIBLE REASONS WHY
ENTERED MY MIND.
THIS IS A SHOW NOTED FOR ITS

ENTERED MY MIND.
THIS IS A SHOW NOTED FOR ITS
FREE-SWINGING HUMOR, FOR TAKING

THIS IS A SHOW NOTED FOR ITS
FREE-SWINGING HUMOR, FOR TAKING
SHOTS AT THE POLITICAL

FREE-SWINGING HUMOR, FOR TAKING
SHOTS AT THE POLITICAL
ESTABLISHMENT, FOR MAKING FUN OF

SHOTS AT THE POLITICAL
ESTABLISHMENT, FOR MAKING FUN OF
THINGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE DON'T

ESTABLISHMENT, FOR MAKING FUN OF
THINGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE DON'T
MAKE FUN OF.

THINGS THAT OTHER PEOPLE DON'T
MAKE FUN OF.
I HAD HOPED THAT THE PEOPLE HERE

MAKE FUN OF.
I HAD HOPED THAT THE PEOPLE HERE
KNEW THAT THAT WAS MY RECORD,

I HAD HOPED THAT THE PEOPLE HERE
KNEW THAT THAT WAS MY RECORD,
TOO, AS AN ANTI-WAR AND

KNEW THAT THAT WAS MY RECORD,
TOO, AS AN ANTI-WAR AND
CIVIL-RIGHTS ACTIVIST AND AS A

TOO, AS AN ANTI-WAR AND
CIVIL-RIGHTS ACTIVIST AND AS A
PERSON WHO, FOR NEARLY 20 YEARS,

CIVIL-RIGHTS ACTIVIST AND AS A
PERSON WHO, FOR NEARLY 20 YEARS,
HAS TRIED TO STAND UP FOR THE

PERSON WHO, FOR NEARLY 20 YEARS,
HAS TRIED TO STAND UP FOR THE
UNDERPRIVILEGED AND

HAS TRIED TO STAND UP FOR THE
UNDERPRIVILEGED AND
UNREPRESENTED.

UNDERPRIVILEGED AND
UNREPRESENTED.
I THOUGHT THEY MAY HAVE KNOWN

UNREPRESENTED.
I THOUGHT THEY MAY HAVE KNOWN
THAT I WAS THE FIRST BLACK TO

I THOUGHT THEY MAY HAVE KNOWN
THAT I WAS THE FIRST BLACK TO
HAVE HIS NAME PLACED IN

THAT I WAS THE FIRST BLACK TO
HAVE HIS NAME PLACED IN
NOMINATION FOR VICE PRESIDENT AT

HAVE HIS NAME PLACED IN
NOMINATION FOR VICE PRESIDENT AT
THE '68 CONVENTION IN CHICAGO.

NOMINATION FOR VICE PRESIDENT AT
THE '68 CONVENTION IN CHICAGO.
I WAS SURE THEY REMEMBERED MY

THE '68 CONVENTION IN CHICAGO.
I WAS SURE THEY REMEMBERED MY
WORK IN VOTER REGISTRATION IN

I WAS SURE THEY REMEMBERED MY
WORK IN VOTER REGISTRATION IN
THE SOUTH.

WORK IN VOTER REGISTRATION IN
THE SOUTH.
[LIGHT LAUGHTER]

THE SOUTH.
[LIGHT LAUGHTER]
THIS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF A

[LIGHT LAUGHTER]
THIS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF A
SOMETIMES-STRUGGLING LIFE MADE

THIS ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF A
SOMETIMES-STRUGGLING LIFE MADE
ME FEEL RATHER PROUD, BUT AFTER

SOMETIMES-STRUGGLING LIFE MADE
ME FEEL RATHER PROUD, BUT AFTER
I GOT UP HERE AND I MET THE

ME FEEL RATHER PROUD, BUT AFTER
I GOT UP HERE AND I MET THE
PEOPLE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS SHOW

I GOT UP HERE AND I MET THE
PEOPLE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS SHOW
AND AFTER I REALIZED THE TIME

PEOPLE ASSOCIATED WITH THIS SHOW
AND AFTER I REALIZED THE TIME
AND THE TALENT THAT GOES INTO

AND AFTER I REALIZED THE TIME
AND THE TALENT THAT GOES INTO
PUTTING THIS EFFORT TOGETHER

AND THE TALENT THAT GOES INTO
PUTTING THIS EFFORT TOGETHER
EVERY WEEK, I REALIZED THERE WAS

PUTTING THIS EFFORT TOGETHER
EVERY WEEK, I REALIZED THERE WAS
MUCH MORE TO IT THAN MY MEMORIES

EVERY WEEK, I REALIZED THERE WAS
MUCH MORE TO IT THAN MY MEMORIES
OF YESTERDAY OR THE COMMON HOPES

MUCH MORE TO IT THAN MY MEMORIES
OF YESTERDAY OR THE COMMON HOPES
AND DREAMS THAT ALL OF US SHARE

OF YESTERDAY OR THE COMMON HOPES
AND DREAMS THAT ALL OF US SHARE
FOR THE FUTURE.

AND DREAMS THAT ALL OF US SHARE
FOR THE FUTURE.
THERE WAS MUCH, MUCH MORE.

FOR THE FUTURE.
THERE WAS MUCH, MUCH MORE.
THESE PEOPLE HAD ME COME ALL THE

THERE WAS MUCH, MUCH MORE.
THESE PEOPLE HAD ME COME ALL THE
WAY UP HERE FROM ATLANTA TO...

THESE PEOPLE HAD ME COME ALL THE
WAY UP HERE FROM ATLANTA TO...
TO BE THEIR CHOCOLATE

WAY UP HERE FROM ATLANTA TO...
TO BE THEIR CHOCOLATE
EASTER BUNNY.

TO BE THEIR CHOCOLATE
EASTER BUNNY.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND I AM.
[LAUGHTER]
NOW, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER

[LAUGHTER]
NOW, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER
THIS MESSAGE.

NOW, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER
THIS MESSAGE.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HELLO.
I'M LOWELL BROCK FOR H&L BROCK.
USUALLY IT'S MY BROTHER, HENRY,

I'M LOWELL BROCK FOR H&L BROCK.
USUALLY IT'S MY BROTHER, HENRY,
WHO DOES THESE COMMERCIALS.

USUALLY IT'S MY BROTHER, HENRY,
WHO DOES THESE COMMERCIALS.
HENRY IS THE ACTOR OF THE

WHO DOES THESE COMMERCIALS.
HENRY IS THE ACTOR OF THE
FAMILY.

HENRY IS THE ACTOR OF THE
FAMILY.
I'M THE ACCOUNTANT.

FAMILY.
I'M THE ACCOUNTANT.
I DO ALL THE WORK.

I'M THE ACCOUNTANT.
I DO ALL THE WORK.
SO HERE'S SOME MORE OF MY 17

I DO ALL THE WORK.
SO HERE'S SOME MORE OF MY 17
REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD LET ME DO

SO HERE'S SOME MORE OF MY 17
REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD LET ME DO
YOUR TAXES.

REASON NUMBER 10...

I TAKE THE TIME.

AT H&L BROCK, I TAKE THE TIME TO

DO YOUR TAXES CORRECTLY, NO

MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES.

NOW, IF THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH

THE IRS, I'LL REPRESENT YOUR

CLAIM.

WHY?

REASON NUMBER 11...

I HAVE THE TIME.

OTHER TAX FIRMS AREN'T

INTERESTED IN STANDING BEHIND

THEIR WORK.

I DO.

I HAVE TO.

WHY?

REASON NUMBER 12...

I'M DOING TIME.

YES, I'M DOING ABOUT 10 TO 20

YEARS...

FOR FRAUD, FORGERY, ATTEMPTED
BRIBES OF IRS OFFICIALS,
[CHUCKLES] WHICH IS ANOTHER

BRIBES OF IRS OFFICIALS,
[CHUCKLES] WHICH IS ANOTHER
REASON THAT I AM RARELY SEEN ON

[CHUCKLES] WHICH IS ANOTHER
REASON THAT I AM RARELY SEEN ON
TELEVISION.

REASON THAT I AM RARELY SEEN ON
TELEVISION.
EVEN IF I GET OUT FOR GOOD

TELEVISION.
EVEN IF I GET OUT FOR GOOD
BEHAVIOR IN SEVEN YEARS, I'LL

EVEN IF I GET OUT FOR GOOD
BEHAVIOR IN SEVEN YEARS, I'LL
HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO PREPARE

BEHAVIOR IN SEVEN YEARS, I'LL
HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO PREPARE
YOUR RETURNS.

HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO PREPARE
YOUR RETURNS.
SO WHY PAY COSTLY TAXES WHEN YOU

YOUR RETURNS.
SO WHY PAY COSTLY TAXES WHEN YOU
DON'T HAVE TO?

SO WHY PAY COSTLY TAXES WHEN YOU
DON'T HAVE TO?
COME DOWN TO H&L BROCK TOMORROW.

DON'T HAVE TO?
COME DOWN TO H&L BROCK TOMORROW.
VISITING HOURS ARE FROM 2:00 TO

COME DOWN TO H&L BROCK TOMORROW.
VISITING HOURS ARE FROM 2:00 TO
4:00, EVERY THURSDAY.

VISITING HOURS ARE FROM 2:00 TO
4:00, EVERY THURSDAY.
GUARDS?

4:00, EVERY THURSDAY.
GUARDS?
GUARD, GUARD.

GUARDS?
GUARD, GUARD.
YEAH, WHAT IS IT?

GUARD, GUARD.
YEAH, WHAT IS IT?
I FINISHED YOUR SHORT INCOME TAX

YEAH, WHAT IS IT?
I FINISHED YOUR SHORT INCOME TAX
FORM HERE.

I FINISHED YOUR SHORT INCOME TAX
FORM HERE.
OH, TERRIFIC.

NOW, HOW ABOUT THAT PACK OF

CIGARETTES?

THANKS A LOT.

Announcer: H&L BROCK...

THE TAX FRAUD PEOPLE.

[APPLAUSE]

[R&B MUSIC PLAYS]

GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO
"BLACK PERSPECTIVE."
I'M YOUR HOST, GARRETT MORRIS,

"BLACK PERSPECTIVE."
I'M YOUR HOST, GARRETT MORRIS,
AND TONIGHT OUR GUEST IS

I'M YOUR HOST, GARRETT MORRIS,
AND TONIGHT OUR GUEST IS
MR. JULIAN BOND, AND WE'LL BE

AND TONIGHT OUR GUEST IS
MR. JULIAN BOND, AND WE'LL BE
TALKING ABOUT THE MYTHS

MR. JULIAN BOND, AND WE'LL BE
TALKING ABOUT THE MYTHS
SURROUNDING BLACK I.Q...

TALKING ABOUT THE MYTHS
SURROUNDING BLACK I.Q...
SPECIFICALLY, THE MYTH THAT

SURROUNDING BLACK I.Q...
SPECIFICALLY, THE MYTH THAT
WHITES ARE INHERENTLY MORE

SPECIFICALLY, THE MYTH THAT
WHITES ARE INHERENTLY MORE
INTELLIGENT THAN BLACKS.

WHITES ARE INHERENTLY MORE
INTELLIGENT THAN BLACKS.
GOOD EVENING, GARRETT.

INTELLIGENT THAN BLACKS.
GOOD EVENING, GARRETT.
GOOD EVENING, JULIAN.

GOOD EVENING, GARRETT.
GOOD EVENING, JULIAN.
NOW, JULIAN, PERHAPS YOU COULD

GOOD EVENING, JULIAN.
NOW, JULIAN, PERHAPS YOU COULD
EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO ME, MAN.

NOW, JULIAN, PERHAPS YOU COULD
EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO ME, MAN.
IN ALL THESE STUDIES COMPARING

EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO ME, MAN.
IN ALL THESE STUDIES COMPARING
BLACK I.Q. TO WHITE I.Q., WHAT

IN ALL THESE STUDIES COMPARING
BLACK I.Q. TO WHITE I.Q., WHAT
KIND OF TEST IS USED TO MEASURE

BLACK I.Q. TO WHITE I.Q., WHAT
KIND OF TEST IS USED TO MEASURE
I.Q. IN THE FIRST PLACE?

KIND OF TEST IS USED TO MEASURE
I.Q. IN THE FIRST PLACE?
THAT'S THE MAJOR PROBLEM WITH

I.Q. IN THE FIRST PLACE?
THAT'S THE MAJOR PROBLEM WITH
THESE STUDIES, GARRETT.

THAT'S THE MAJOR PROBLEM WITH
THESE STUDIES, GARRETT.
THE MEASUREMENT OF I.Q.s WHICH

THESE STUDIES, GARRETT.
THE MEASUREMENT OF I.Q.s WHICH
ARE USED IN THESE TESTS COME

THE MEASUREMENT OF I.Q.s WHICH
ARE USED IN THESE TESTS COME
FROM TESTS PREPARED BY WHITES

ARE USED IN THESE TESTS COME
FROM TESTS PREPARED BY WHITES
FOR WHITES.

FROM TESTS PREPARED BY WHITES
FOR WHITES.
THEREFORE, THE TESTS ARE

FOR WHITES.
THEREFORE, THE TESTS ARE
CULTURALLY BIASED, SO IT'S NOT

THEREFORE, THE TESTS ARE
CULTURALLY BIASED, SO IT'S NOT
SURPRISING THAT WHITES WOULD

CULTURALLY BIASED, SO IT'S NOT
SURPRISING THAT WHITES WOULD
SCORE BETTER THAN BLACKS DO.

SURPRISING THAT WHITES WOULD
SCORE BETTER THAN BLACKS DO.
COULD YOU GIVE US AN EXAMPLE

SCORE BETTER THAN BLACKS DO.
COULD YOU GIVE US AN EXAMPLE
OF WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?

COULD YOU GIVE US AN EXAMPLE
OF WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?
OH, SURELY.

OF WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?
OH, SURELY.
HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS THAT

OH, SURELY.
HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS THAT
WERE ASKED RECENTLY ON THE 1977

HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS THAT
WERE ASKED RECENTLY ON THE 1977
STANFORD-PETRI I.Q. TEST.

WERE ASKED RECENTLY ON THE 1977
STANFORD-PETRI I.Q. TEST.
NUMBER ONE... "YOU HAVE BEEN

STANFORD-PETRI I.Q. TEST.
NUMBER ONE... "YOU HAVE BEEN
INVITED OVER FOR COCKTAILS BY

NUMBER ONE... "YOU HAVE BEEN
INVITED OVER FOR COCKTAILS BY
THE OFFICER OF YOUR TRUST FUND.

INVITED OVER FOR COCKTAILS BY
THE OFFICER OF YOUR TRUST FUND.
COCKTAILS BEGIN AT 4:30, BUT YOU

THE OFFICER OF YOUR TRUST FUND.
COCKTAILS BEGIN AT 4:30, BUT YOU
MUST MAKE AN APPEARANCE AT A

COCKTAILS BEGIN AT 4:30, BUT YOU
MUST MAKE AN APPEARANCE AT A
6:00 FORMAL DINNER AT THE YACHT

MUST MAKE AN APPEARANCE AT A
6:00 FORMAL DINNER AT THE YACHT
CLUB.

6:00 FORMAL DINNER AT THE YACHT
CLUB.
WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT DRESS?

CLUB.
WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT DRESS?
'A'... WEAR YOUR BLUE-STRIPED

WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT DRESS?
'A'... WEAR YOUR BLUE-STRIPED
SEERSUCKER SUIT TO COCKTAILS AND

'A'... WEAR YOUR BLUE-STRIPED
SEERSUCKER SUIT TO COCKTAILS AND
CHANGE INTO YOUR TUXEDO IN THE

SEERSUCKER SUIT TO COCKTAILS AND
CHANGE INTO YOUR TUXEDO IN THE
BATHROOM, APOLOGIZING TO YOUR

CHANGE INTO YOUR TUXEDO IN THE
BATHROOM, APOLOGIZING TO YOUR
HOST FOR THE INCONVENIENCE, OR

BATHROOM, APOLOGIZING TO YOUR
HOST FOR THE INCONVENIENCE, OR
'B... WEAR YOUR TUXEDO TO

HOST FOR THE INCONVENIENCE, OR
'B... WEAR YOUR TUXEDO TO
COCKTAILS, APOLOGIZING TO YOUR

'B... WEAR YOUR TUXEDO TO
COCKTAILS, APOLOGIZING TO YOUR
HOST FOR WEARING A DINNER JACKET

COCKTAILS, APOLOGIZING TO YOUR
HOST FOR WEARING A DINNER JACKET
BEFORE 6:00 P.M., OR 'C'... WALK

HOST FOR WEARING A DINNER JACKET
BEFORE 6:00 P.M., OR 'C'... WALK
TO THE SUBWAY AT COLUMBUS CIRCLE

BEFORE 6:00 P.M., OR 'C'... WALK
TO THE SUBWAY AT COLUMBUS CIRCLE
AND TAKE THE 'A' TRAIN UPTOWN."

TO THE SUBWAY AT COLUMBUS CIRCLE
AND TAKE THE 'A' TRAIN UPTOWN."
WELL, I GUESS I WOULD TAKE

AND TAKE THE 'A' TRAIN UPTOWN."
WELL, I GUESS I WOULD TAKE
THE "A" TRAIN.

WELL, I GUESS I WOULD TAKE
THE "A" TRAIN.
NO, I'M SORRY.

THE "A" TRAIN.
NO, I'M SORRY.
THAT'S INCORRECT.

NO, I'M SORRY.
THAT'S INCORRECT.
DAMN. GOD!

THAT'S INCORRECT.
DAMN. GOD!
LET ME... LET ME TELL YOU

DAMN. GOD!
LET ME... LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT ANOTHER... "WHEN WAXING

LET ME... LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT ANOTHER... "WHEN WAXING
YOUR SKIS FOR A CROSS-COUNTRY

ABOUT ANOTHER... "WHEN WAXING
YOUR SKIS FOR A CROSS-COUNTRY
RUN..."

YOUR SKIS FOR A CROSS-COUNTRY
RUN..."
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

RUN..."
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
JULIAN, I KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
JULIAN, I KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM
IS WITH THE TESTS, SEE, BUT,

JULIAN, I KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM
IS WITH THE TESTS, SEE, BUT,
LOOK, MAN, THEY'VE BEEN SAYING

IS WITH THE TESTS, SEE, BUT,
LOOK, MAN, THEY'VE BEEN SAYING
THAT WHITES ARE SMARTER THAN

LOOK, MAN, THEY'VE BEEN SAYING
THAT WHITES ARE SMARTER THAN
BLACKS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS,

THAT WHITES ARE SMARTER THAN
BLACKS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS,
BABY, RIGHT, AND WE HAVE ONLY

BLACKS FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS,
BABY, RIGHT, AND WE HAVE ONLY
HAD THESE I.Q. TESTS FOR, WHAT,

BABY, RIGHT, AND WE HAVE ONLY
HAD THESE I.Q. TESTS FOR, WHAT,
20, 30 YEARS?

HAD THESE I.Q. TESTS FOR, WHAT,
20, 30 YEARS?
NOW, HOW DID THE IDEA OF WHITE

20, 30 YEARS?
NOW, HOW DID THE IDEA OF WHITE
INTELLECTUAL, HA HA, SUPERIORITY

NOW, HOW DID THE IDEA OF WHITE
INTELLECTUAL, HA HA, SUPERIORITY
ORIGINATE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

INTELLECTUAL, HA HA, SUPERIORITY
ORIGINATE IN THE FIRST PLACE?
WELL, THAT'S A VERY

ORIGINATE IN THE FIRST PLACE?
WELL, THAT'S A VERY
INTERESTING POINT.

WELL, THAT'S A VERY
INTERESTING POINT.
MY THEORY IS THAT IT'S BASED ON

INTERESTING POINT.
MY THEORY IS THAT IT'S BASED ON
THE FACT THAT LIGHT-SKINNED

MY THEORY IS THAT IT'S BASED ON
THE FACT THAT LIGHT-SKINNED
BLACKS ARE SMARTER THAN

THE FACT THAT LIGHT-SKINNED
BLACKS ARE SMARTER THAN
DARK-SKINNED BLACKS.

SAY WHAT?
I SAID IT MAY HAVE GROWN OUT
OF THE OBSERVATION THAT

I SAID IT MAY HAVE GROWN OUT
OF THE OBSERVATION THAT
LIGHT-SKINNED BLACKS ARE SMARTER

OF THE OBSERVATION THAT
LIGHT-SKINNED BLACKS ARE SMARTER
THAN DARK-SKINNED BLACKS.

LIGHT-SKINNED BLACKS ARE SMARTER
THAN DARK-SKINNED BLACKS.
I-I DON'T GET IT.

THAN DARK-SKINNED BLACKS.
I-I DON'T GET IT.
WELL, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO

I-I DON'T GET IT.
WELL, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH WHITE BLOOD.

WELL, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH WHITE BLOOD.
IT'S JUST THAT THE DESCENDANTS

WITH WHITE BLOOD.
IT'S JUST THAT THE DESCENDANTS
OF LIGHTER-SKINNED AFRICAN

IT'S JUST THAT THE DESCENDANTS
OF LIGHTER-SKINNED AFRICAN
TRIBES ARE MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT

OF LIGHTER-SKINNED AFRICAN
TRIBES ARE MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT
THAN THE DESCENDANTS OF

TRIBES ARE MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT
THAN THE DESCENDANTS OF
DARKER-SKINNED AFRICAN TRIBES.

THAN THE DESCENDANTS OF
DARKER-SKINNED AFRICAN TRIBES.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.

DARKER-SKINNED AFRICAN TRIBES.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
WELL, THIS IS THE FIRST I'VE

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
WELL, THIS IS THE FIRST I'VE
HEARD OF IT, MAN.

WELL, THIS IS THE FIRST I'VE
HEARD OF IT, MAN.
REALLY?

HEARD OF IT, MAN.
REALLY?
OH, IT WAS PROVEN A LONG TIME

REALLY?
OH, IT WAS PROVEN A LONG TIME
AGO.

OH, IT WAS PROVEN A LONG TIME
AGO.
WELL, I STILL DON'T QUITE

AGO.
WELL, I STILL DON'T QUITE
UNDERSTAND IT, YOU KNOW, BUT

WELL, I STILL DON'T QUITE
UNDERSTAND IT, YOU KNOW, BUT
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME, BUT

UNDERSTAND IT, YOU KNOW, BUT
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME, BUT
PERHAPS YOU COULD COME AND TALK

WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME, BUT
PERHAPS YOU COULD COME AND TALK
ABOUT THIS, YOU KNOW, AND

PERHAPS YOU COULD COME AND TALK
ABOUT THIS, YOU KNOW, AND
EXPLAIN IT FURTHER ON ANOTHER

ABOUT THIS, YOU KNOW, AND
EXPLAIN IT FURTHER ON ANOTHER
SHOW.

EXPLAIN IT FURTHER ON ANOTHER
SHOW.
WELL, THERE'S REALLY VERY

SHOW.
WELL, THERE'S REALLY VERY
LITTLE TO EXPLAIN.

WELL, THERE'S REALLY VERY
LITTLE TO EXPLAIN.
IT'S JUST LIKE I'VE TOLD YOU.

LITTLE TO EXPLAIN.
IT'S JUST LIKE I'VE TOLD YOU.
WELL, WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF

IT'S JUST LIKE I'VE TOLD YOU.
WELL, WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF
TIME.

WELL, WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF
TIME.
GOOD... GOOD NIGHT.

TIME.
GOOD... GOOD NIGHT.
MAYBE YOU COULD EXPLAIN IT TO ME

GOOD... GOOD NIGHT.
MAYBE YOU COULD EXPLAIN IT TO ME
AGAIN.

MAYBE YOU COULD EXPLAIN IT TO ME
AGAIN.
NOW, YOU SAID THE BLACKS ARE

AGAIN.
NOW, YOU SAID THE BLACKS ARE
INHERENTLY SMARTER THAN THE

NOW, YOU SAID THE BLACKS ARE
INHERENTLY SMARTER THAN THE
WHITES?

INHERENTLY SMARTER THAN THE
WHITES?
[APPLAUSE]

[BAND PLAYS]

[PRESIDENTIAL MUSIC PLAYS]

[Off-key] ♪ HONEY CHILD,
I REALLY OUGHT TO SCOLD YA ♪
♪ YOU'LL HAVE YOUR MAMMY OLD

I REALLY OUGHT TO SCOLD YA ♪
♪ YOU'LL HAVE YOUR MAMMY OLD
AND GRAY ♪

♪ YOU'LL HAVE YOUR MAMMY OLD
AND GRAY ♪
♪ BUT, PICKANINNY, WHEN IT'S

AND GRAY ♪
♪ BUT, PICKANINNY, WHEN IT'S
TIME TO SCOLD YA ♪

♪ BUT, PICKANINNY, WHEN IT'S
TIME TO SCOLD YA ♪
♪ I'LL HOLD YA IN MY LOVIN' ARMS

TIME TO SCOLD YA ♪
♪ I'LL HOLD YA IN MY LOVIN' ARMS
AND SAY ♪

♪ I'LL HOLD YA IN MY LOVIN' ARMS
AND SAY ♪
♪ OH, MY, HIDEY-HIDEY-HIDEY-HI ♪

AND SAY ♪
♪ OH, MY, HIDEY-HIDEY-HIDEY-HI ♪
♪ OH, MY GOODNESS ♪

♪ OH, MY, HIDEY-HIDEY-HIDEY-HI ♪
♪ OH, MY GOODNESS ♪
PLEASURE ME, MANDINGO!

♪ OH, MY GOODNESS ♪
PLEASURE ME, MANDINGO!
AMY, DEAR, WOULD YOU MIND

PLEASURE ME, MANDINGO!
AMY, DEAR, WOULD YOU MIND
GOING TO PLAY SOMEPLACE ELSE?

AMY, DEAR, WOULD YOU MIND
GOING TO PLAY SOMEPLACE ELSE?
DADDY HAS A LOT OF WORK TO DO

GOING TO PLAY SOMEPLACE ELSE?
DADDY HAS A LOT OF WORK TO DO
HERE, OKAY?

DADDY HAS A LOT OF WORK TO DO
HERE, OKAY?
OH, ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO

HERE, OKAY?
OH, ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO
SOMEWHERE ELSE.

OH, ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
IT'S ALWAYS THE UNITED STATES

SOMEWHERE ELSE.
IT'S ALWAYS THE UNITED STATES
FIRST AND AMY SECOND.

IT'S ALWAYS THE UNITED STATES
FIRST AND AMY SECOND.
WELL, I'M SORRY, AMY.

FIRST AND AMY SECOND.
WELL, I'M SORRY, AMY.
MAYBE WE CAN DO SOMETHING

WELL, I'M SORRY, AMY.
MAYBE WE CAN DO SOMETHING
TOMORROW.

MAYBE WE CAN DO SOMETHING
TOMORROW.
WELL, YOU PROMISED LAST

TOMORROW.
WELL, YOU PROMISED LAST
NOVEMBER TO TAKE ME TO SEE

WELL, YOU PROMISED LAST
NOVEMBER TO TAKE ME TO SEE
"KING KONG."

NOVEMBER TO TAKE ME TO SEE
"KING KONG."
I'LL DO A STUDY ON IT.

"KING KONG."
I'LL DO A STUDY ON IT.
I NEED MORE TIME.

I'LL DO A STUDY ON IT.
I NEED MORE TIME.
WELL, YOU MADE HUNDREDS OF

I NEED MORE TIME.
WELL, YOU MADE HUNDREDS OF
PROMISES, AND YOU HARDLY KEPT

WELL, YOU MADE HUNDREDS OF
PROMISES, AND YOU HARDLY KEPT
ANY.

PROMISES, AND YOU HARDLY KEPT
ANY.
COME ON, AMY.

ANY.
COME ON, AMY.
I'VE ONLY BEEN PRESIDENT FOR

COME ON, AMY.
I'VE ONLY BEEN PRESIDENT FOR
THREE MONTHS.

I'VE ONLY BEEN PRESIDENT FOR
THREE MONTHS.
NOW, SKEDADDLE, WILL YOU?

THREE MONTHS.
NOW, SKEDADDLE, WILL YOU?
OKAY, BUT I HOPE WE DON'T GO

NOW, SKEDADDLE, WILL YOU?
OKAY, BUT I HOPE WE DON'T GO
THROUGH THIS SIX MONTHS FROM

OKAY, BUT I HOPE WE DON'T GO
THROUGH THIS SIX MONTHS FROM
NOW.

THROUGH THIS SIX MONTHS FROM
NOW.
[INTERCOM BUZZES]

NOW.
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
HELLO?

[INTERCOM BUZZES]
HELLO?
UNITED NATIONS AMBASSADOR

HELLO?
UNITED NATIONS AMBASSADOR
ANDREW YOUNG AND GEORGIA

UNITED NATIONS AMBASSADOR
ANDREW YOUNG AND GEORGIA
LEGISLATOR JULIAN BOND ARE HERE

ANDREW YOUNG AND GEORGIA
LEGISLATOR JULIAN BOND ARE HERE
AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU.

LEGISLATOR JULIAN BOND ARE HERE
AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU.
WELL, SEND THEM RIGHT IN.

AND WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU.
WELL, SEND THEM RIGHT IN.
THIS IS AN OPEN WHITE HOUSE.

WELL, SEND THEM RIGHT IN.
THIS IS AN OPEN WHITE HOUSE.
OKAY, AMY, WANT TO TAKE YOUR

THIS IS AN OPEN WHITE HOUSE.
OKAY, AMY, WANT TO TAKE YOUR
LITTLE BLACK GOLLIWOG DOLL UP

OKAY, AMY, WANT TO TAKE YOUR
LITTLE BLACK GOLLIWOG DOLL UP
THE BACK WAY?

LITTLE BLACK GOLLIWOG DOLL UP
THE BACK WAY?
OKAY.

THE BACK WAY?
OKAY.
WELL, HI, WELCOME TO

OKAY.
WELL, HI, WELCOME TO
THE WHITE HOUSE!

WELL, HI, WELCOME TO
THE WHITE HOUSE!
ANDY, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

THE WHITE HOUSE!
ANDY, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
HI, JIMMY.

ANDY, WHAT'S HAPPENING?
HI, JIMMY.
I KNOW YOU REMEMBER JULIAN FROM

HI, JIMMY.
I KNOW YOU REMEMBER JULIAN FROM
YOUR DAYS AS GOVERNOR, AND I

I KNOW YOU REMEMBER JULIAN FROM
YOUR DAYS AS GOVERNOR, AND I
KNEW YOU'D WANT TO GIVE HIM SOME

YOUR DAYS AS GOVERNOR, AND I
KNEW YOU'D WANT TO GIVE HIM SOME
TIME.

KNEW YOU'D WANT TO GIVE HIM SOME
TIME.
HE WAS IN MY OFFICE.

TIME.
HE WAS IN MY OFFICE.
HI, HOW ARE YOU?

HE WAS IN MY OFFICE.
HI, HOW ARE YOU?
IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE SOMEBODY

HI, HOW ARE YOU?
IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE SOMEBODY
FROM GEORGIA.

IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE SOMEBODY
FROM GEORGIA.
HOW ARE THINGS DOWN THERE IN THE

FROM GEORGIA.
HOW ARE THINGS DOWN THERE IN THE
PEACH STATE?

HOW ARE THINGS DOWN THERE IN THE
PEACH STATE?
THE PITS, MR. PRESIDENT.

PEACH STATE?
THE PITS, MR. PRESIDENT.
PLEASE, CALL ME JIMMY,

THE PITS, MR. PRESIDENT.
PLEASE, CALL ME JIMMY,
JULIAN.

PLEASE, CALL ME JIMMY,
JULIAN.
I KNOW THAT... I KNOW BACK IN

JULIAN.
I KNOW THAT... I KNOW BACK IN
GEORGIA, WE HAD SOME

I KNOW THAT... I KNOW BACK IN
GEORGIA, WE HAD SOME
DISAGREEMENTS, BUT NOW I'M HERE

GEORGIA, WE HAD SOME
DISAGREEMENTS, BUT NOW I'M HERE
IN THE OVAL OFFICE, AND I'D LIKE

DISAGREEMENTS, BUT NOW I'M HERE
IN THE OVAL OFFICE, AND I'D LIKE
TO GIVE YOU A PIECE OF MY TIME,

IN THE OVAL OFFICE, AND I'D LIKE
TO GIVE YOU A PIECE OF MY TIME,
SO WHATEVER YOU GOT TO SAY, GO

TO GIVE YOU A PIECE OF MY TIME,
SO WHATEVER YOU GOT TO SAY, GO
AHEAD.

SO WHATEVER YOU GOT TO SAY, GO
AHEAD.
WELL, JIMMY, ALL I WANTED TO

AHEAD.
WELL, JIMMY, ALL I WANTED TO
SAY IS THAT YOU SPEND SO MUCH

WELL, JIMMY, ALL I WANTED TO
SAY IS THAT YOU SPEND SO MUCH
TIME BEING CONCERNED ABOUT THE

SAY IS THAT YOU SPEND SO MUCH
TIME BEING CONCERNED ABOUT THE
HUMAN RIGHTS OF PEOPLE IN OTHER

TIME BEING CONCERNED ABOUT THE
HUMAN RIGHTS OF PEOPLE IN OTHER
COUNTRIES.

HUMAN RIGHTS OF PEOPLE IN OTHER
COUNTRIES.
I THINK IT'S TIME YOU BEGAN TO

COUNTRIES.
I THINK IT'S TIME YOU BEGAN TO
WORRY ABOUT THE HUMAN RIGHTS OF

I THINK IT'S TIME YOU BEGAN TO
WORRY ABOUT THE HUMAN RIGHTS OF
PEOPLE RIGHT HERE IN YOUR OWN

WORRY ABOUT THE HUMAN RIGHTS OF
PEOPLE RIGHT HERE IN YOUR OWN
COUNTRY.

PEOPLE RIGHT HERE IN YOUR OWN
COUNTRY.
YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD YOU SAID

COUNTRY.
YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD YOU SAID
THAT.

YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD YOU SAID
THAT.
I'M GLAD SOMEBODY IS FINALLY

THAT.
I'M GLAD SOMEBODY IS FINALLY
PICKING UP THE BALL ON HUMAN'S

I'M GLAD SOMEBODY IS FINALLY
PICKING UP THE BALL ON HUMAN'S
RIGHTS, AFTER I STARTED IT

PICKING UP THE BALL ON HUMAN'S
RIGHTS, AFTER I STARTED IT
ROLLING.

RIGHTS, AFTER I STARTED IT
ROLLING.
YOU KNOW?

ROLLING.
YOU KNOW?
HAVE I EVER SHOWN YOU THE HOUSE

YOU KNOW?
HAVE I EVER SHOWN YOU THE HOUSE
I GREW UP IN?

HAVE I EVER SHOWN YOU THE HOUSE
I GREW UP IN?
YES, YOU SHOWED ME.

I GREW UP IN?
YES, YOU SHOWED ME.
COME ON OVER HERE.

YES, YOU SHOWED ME.
COME ON OVER HERE.
THIS WAS AN AUTHENTIC LOG CABIN

COME ON OVER HERE.
THIS WAS AN AUTHENTIC LOG CABIN
WITH NO RUNNING WATER AND

THIS WAS AN AUTHENTIC LOG CABIN
WITH NO RUNNING WATER AND
AUTHENTIC, REAL LINCOLN LOGS.

WITH NO RUNNING WATER AND
AUTHENTIC, REAL LINCOLN LOGS.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, WELL,

AUTHENTIC, REAL LINCOLN LOGS.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, WELL,
JIMMY, YOU... LAST NOVEMBER, YOU

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, WELL,
JIMMY, YOU... LAST NOVEMBER, YOU
GOT THE BLACK VOTE, NOW, BECAUSE

JIMMY, YOU... LAST NOVEMBER, YOU
GOT THE BLACK VOTE, NOW, BECAUSE
YOU PROMISED AID TO THE CITIES

GOT THE BLACK VOTE, NOW, BECAUSE
YOU PROMISED AID TO THE CITIES
AND BETTER HOUSING...

YOU PROMISED AID TO THE CITIES
AND BETTER HOUSING...
MM-HMM.

AND BETTER HOUSING...
MM-HMM.
I KNOW ABOUT BETTER HOUSING.

MM-HMM.
I KNOW ABOUT BETTER HOUSING.
THAT'S A PROBLEM I REALLY CAN

I KNOW ABOUT BETTER HOUSING.
THAT'S A PROBLEM I REALLY CAN
RELATE TO BECAUSE IN THE FIRST

THAT'S A PROBLEM I REALLY CAN
RELATE TO BECAUSE IN THE FIRST
YEARS OF MY LIFE, YOU SEE, MY

RELATE TO BECAUSE IN THE FIRST
YEARS OF MY LIFE, YOU SEE, MY
FAMILY AND I, WE LIVED IN THIS

YEARS OF MY LIFE, YOU SEE, MY
FAMILY AND I, WE LIVED IN THIS
LITTLE PEANUT-SHELL LEAN-TO

FAMILY AND I, WE LIVED IN THIS
LITTLE PEANUT-SHELL LEAN-TO
HERE.

LITTLE PEANUT-SHELL LEAN-TO
HERE.
IT WAS MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF

HERE.
IT WAS MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF
PEANUT SHELLS.

IT WAS MADE ENTIRELY OUT OF
PEANUT SHELLS.
I EVER TELL YOU GENTLEMEN THAT

PEANUT SHELLS.
I EVER TELL YOU GENTLEMEN THAT
MY MOTHER, LILLIAN, ONCE TOUCHED

I EVER TELL YOU GENTLEMEN THAT
MY MOTHER, LILLIAN, ONCE TOUCHED
A LEPER?

MY MOTHER, LILLIAN, ONCE TOUCHED
A LEPER?
UH, YES, JIMMY, YOU DID TELL

A LEPER?
UH, YES, JIMMY, YOU DID TELL
ME THAT.

UH, YES, JIMMY, YOU DID TELL
ME THAT.
WE'RE HAVING A SHOWING OF

ME THAT.
WE'RE HAVING A SHOWING OF
AMERICAN FILM ARCHIVES TONIGHT.

WE'RE HAVING A SHOWING OF
AMERICAN FILM ARCHIVES TONIGHT.
WE'RE SHOWING "THE GOLD DIGGERS

AMERICAN FILM ARCHIVES TONIGHT.
WE'RE SHOWING "THE GOLD DIGGERS
OF 1932."

WE'RE SHOWING "THE GOLD DIGGERS
OF 1932."
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO COME ALONG

OF 1932."
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO COME ALONG
AND SEE IT.

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO COME ALONG
AND SEE IT.
AH.

AND SEE IT.
AH.
I DON'T KNOW THAT FILM.

AH.
I DON'T KNOW THAT FILM.
"GOLD DIGGERS OF 1932."

I DON'T KNOW THAT FILM.
"GOLD DIGGERS OF 1932."
DOES THE NAME RUBY KEELER STRIKE

"GOLD DIGGERS OF 1932."
DOES THE NAME RUBY KEELER STRIKE
A FAMILIAR NOTE?

DOES THE NAME RUBY KEELER STRIKE
A FAMILIAR NOTE?
LITTLE SENSE OF HUMOR... YOU

A FAMILIAR NOTE?
LITTLE SENSE OF HUMOR... YOU
KNOW, I TRY TO KEEP JOKES IN THE

LITTLE SENSE OF HUMOR... YOU
KNOW, I TRY TO KEEP JOKES IN THE
WHITE HOUSE, YOU KNOW.

KNOW, I TRY TO KEEP JOKES IN THE
WHITE HOUSE, YOU KNOW.
WELL, WE APPRECIATE IT A

WHITE HOUSE, YOU KNOW.
WELL, WE APPRECIATE IT A
GREAT DEAL, MR. PRESIDENT, BUT

WELL, WE APPRECIATE IT A
GREAT DEAL, MR. PRESIDENT, BUT
YOU PROMISED TO INCLUDE MORE

GREAT DEAL, MR. PRESIDENT, BUT
YOU PROMISED TO INCLUDE MORE
MINORITY CABINET MEMBERS, BUT

YOU PROMISED TO INCLUDE MORE
MINORITY CABINET MEMBERS, BUT
THE FORD ADMINISTRATION HAD ONE

MINORITY CABINET MEMBERS, BUT
THE FORD ADMINISTRATION HAD ONE
BLACK AND YOU'VE GOT JUST ONE

THE FORD ADMINISTRATION HAD ONE
BLACK AND YOU'VE GOT JUST ONE
BLACK, PATRICIA HARRIS.

BLACK AND YOU'VE GOT JUST ONE
BLACK, PATRICIA HARRIS.
NOW, HOLD IT A MINUTE... YOU

BLACK, PATRICIA HARRIS.
NOW, HOLD IT A MINUTE... YOU
COUNT ANDY HERE, I GOT TWO.

NOW, HOLD IT A MINUTE... YOU
COUNT ANDY HERE, I GOT TWO.
UH, JIMMY, I'M NOT REALLY IN

COUNT ANDY HERE, I GOT TWO.
UH, JIMMY, I'M NOT REALLY IN
THE CABINET, BUT, JULIAN, I AM

UH, JIMMY, I'M NOT REALLY IN
THE CABINET, BUT, JULIAN, I AM
IMPORTANT AROUND HERE, AND I GET

THE CABINET, BUT, JULIAN, I AM
IMPORTANT AROUND HERE, AND I GET
TO SAY ALMOST ANYTHING I WANT.

IMPORTANT AROUND HERE, AND I GET
TO SAY ALMOST ANYTHING I WANT.
WELL, YOU PROMISED TO APPOINT

TO SAY ALMOST ANYTHING I WANT.
WELL, YOU PROMISED TO APPOINT
MORE WOMEN TO THE CABINET.

WELL, YOU PROMISED TO APPOINT
MORE WOMEN TO THE CABINET.
FORD HAD ONE WOMAN, AND YOU'VE

MORE WOMEN TO THE CABINET.
FORD HAD ONE WOMAN, AND YOU'VE
GOT ONE WOMAN, AND AGAIN, IT'S

FORD HAD ONE WOMAN, AND YOU'VE
GOT ONE WOMAN, AND AGAIN, IT'S
PATRICIA HARRIS.

GOT ONE WOMAN, AND AGAIN, IT'S
PATRICIA HARRIS.
GENTLEMEN, I DON'T KNOW IF

PATRICIA HARRIS.
GENTLEMEN, I DON'T KNOW IF
I'VE SHOWN YOU THIS.

GENTLEMEN, I DON'T KNOW IF
I'VE SHOWN YOU THIS.
YOU KNOW, WHEN WE WERE VERY

I'VE SHOWN YOU THIS.
YOU KNOW, WHEN WE WERE VERY
YOUNG, WE DIDN'T HAVE A PLACE TO

YOU KNOW, WHEN WE WERE VERY
YOUNG, WE DIDN'T HAVE A PLACE TO
LIVE, REALLY, AND MY PARENTS

YOUNG, WE DIDN'T HAVE A PLACE TO
LIVE, REALLY, AND MY PARENTS
KEPT ME IN THIS SHOE BOX HERE.

LIVE, REALLY, AND MY PARENTS
KEPT ME IN THIS SHOE BOX HERE.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

KEPT ME IN THIS SHOE BOX HERE.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
YES, JIMMY, YOU SHOWED ME THAT.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
YES, JIMMY, YOU SHOWED ME THAT.
YOU SHOWED ME THAT BEFORE.

YES, JIMMY, YOU SHOWED ME THAT.
YOU SHOWED ME THAT BEFORE.
MR. PRESIDENT, PLEASE, CAN WE

YOU SHOWED ME THAT BEFORE.
MR. PRESIDENT, PLEASE, CAN WE
GET DOWN TO SOME BUSINESS?

MR. PRESIDENT, PLEASE, CAN WE
GET DOWN TO SOME BUSINESS?
HEY, PLEASE, COME ON.

GET DOWN TO SOME BUSINESS?
HEY, PLEASE, COME ON.
CALL ME JIMMY, JULIAN, PLEASE.

HEY, PLEASE, COME ON.
CALL ME JIMMY, JULIAN, PLEASE.
[INTERCOM BUZZES]

CALL ME JIMMY, JULIAN, PLEASE.
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
HELLO?

[INTERCOM BUZZES]
HELLO?
MR. PRESIDENT, THE NATIONAL

HELLO?
MR. PRESIDENT, THE NATIONAL
SECURITY COUNCIL IS WAITING FOR

MR. PRESIDENT, THE NATIONAL
SECURITY COUNCIL IS WAITING FOR
YOU.

SECURITY COUNCIL IS WAITING FOR
YOU.
OKAY, TELL THEM I'LL BE RIGHT

YOU.
OKAY, TELL THEM I'LL BE RIGHT
THERE.

OKAY, TELL THEM I'LL BE RIGHT
THERE.
I'VE CONVENED THE NATIONAL

THERE.
I'VE CONVENED THE NATIONAL
SECURITY COUNCIL BECAUSE WE'VE

I'VE CONVENED THE NATIONAL
SECURITY COUNCIL BECAUSE WE'VE
JUST HAD WORD OF A FLAGRANT

SECURITY COUNCIL BECAUSE WE'VE
JUST HAD WORD OF A FLAGRANT
VIOLATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS.

JUST HAD WORD OF A FLAGRANT
VIOLATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS.
IT SEEMS THERE'S THIS TURKISH

VIOLATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS.
IT SEEMS THERE'S THIS TURKISH
SAILOR.

IT SEEMS THERE'S THIS TURKISH
SAILOR.
HE'S IN A PRISON IN PARAGUAY,

SAILOR.
HE'S IN A PRISON IN PARAGUAY,
AND WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE

HE'S IN A PRISON IN PARAGUAY,
AND WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE
THAT HE'S BEING UNDER-FED.

AND WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE
THAT HE'S BEING UNDER-FED.
WITH THE HELP OF THE AMERICAN

THAT HE'S BEING UNDER-FED.
WITH THE HELP OF THE AMERICAN
CABINET, PRESIDENT OF THE

WITH THE HELP OF THE AMERICAN
CABINET, PRESIDENT OF THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE, AND THE

CABINET, PRESIDENT OF THE
AMERICAN PEOPLE, AND THE
INFLUENCE OF COCA-COLA IN

AMERICAN PEOPLE, AND THE
INFLUENCE OF COCA-COLA IN
PARAGUAY, WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO

INFLUENCE OF COCA-COLA IN
PARAGUAY, WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

PARAGUAY, WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
COME BY AND SEE ME ANYTIME.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
COME BY AND SEE ME ANYTIME.
IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO SEE YOU.

COME BY AND SEE ME ANYTIME.
IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO SEE YOU.
YOU SEE THAT?

IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO SEE YOU.
YOU SEE THAT?
YOU SEE, JULIAN?

YOU SEE THAT?
YOU SEE, JULIAN?
I TOLD YOU, THE MAN REALLY

YOU SEE, JULIAN?
I TOLD YOU, THE MAN REALLY
CARES.

I TOLD YOU, THE MAN REALLY
CARES.
HE SURE DO, ANDY.

CARES.
HE SURE DO, ANDY.
[APPLAUSE]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
TOM WAITS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

TOM WAITS.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
["EGGS & SAUSAGES" PLAYS]

♪ NIGHTHAWKS AT THE DINER ♪
♪ OF EMMA'S 49er ♪
♪ THERE'S A RENDEZVOUS OF

♪ OF EMMA'S 49er ♪
♪ THERE'S A RENDEZVOUS OF
STRANGERS AROUND THE COFFEE

♪ THERE'S A RENDEZVOUS OF
STRANGERS AROUND THE COFFEE
URN TONIGHT ♪

STRANGERS AROUND THE COFFEE
URN TONIGHT ♪
♪ ALL THEM GYPSY HACKS ♪

URN TONIGHT ♪
♪ ALL THEM GYPSY HACKS ♪
♪ AND THESE INSOMNIACS ♪

♪ ALL THEM GYPSY HACKS ♪
♪ AND THESE INSOMNIACS ♪
♪ NOW THE PAPER'S BEEN READ ♪

♪ AND THESE INSOMNIACS ♪
♪ NOW THE PAPER'S BEEN READ ♪
♪ NOW THE WAITRESS SAID ♪

♪ NOW THE PAPER'S BEEN READ ♪
♪ NOW THE WAITRESS SAID ♪
♪ EGGS AND SAUSAGE ♪

♪ NOW THE WAITRESS SAID ♪
♪ EGGS AND SAUSAGE ♪
♪ AND A SIDE OF TOAST ♪

♪ EGGS AND SAUSAGE ♪
♪ AND A SIDE OF TOAST ♪
♪ COFFEE AND A ROLL ♪

♪ AND A SIDE OF TOAST ♪
♪ COFFEE AND A ROLL ♪
♪ HASH BROWNS OVER EASY ♪

♪ COFFEE AND A ROLL ♪
♪ HASH BROWNS OVER EASY ♪
♪ CHILI IN A BOWL ♪

♪ HASH BROWNS OVER EASY ♪
♪ CHILI IN A BOWL ♪
♪ WITH BURGERS AND FRIES ♪

♪ CHILI IN A BOWL ♪
♪ WITH BURGERS AND FRIES ♪
♪ BURGERS AND FRIES ♪

♪ WITH BURGERS AND FRIES ♪
♪ BURGERS AND FRIES ♪
♪ NOW WHAT KIND OF PIE? ♪

♪ BURGERS AND FRIES ♪
♪ NOW WHAT KIND OF PIE? ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND ♪

♪ NOW WHAT KIND OF PIE? ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ I'M STUCK HERE

♪ BABY, YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ I'M STUCK HERE
IN A GRAVEYARD CHARADE ♪

♪ I'M STUCK HERE
IN A GRAVEYARD CHARADE ♪
♪ THIS LATE-SHIFT MASQUERADE ♪

IN A GRAVEYARD CHARADE ♪
♪ THIS LATE-SHIFT MASQUERADE ♪
♪ IT'S TWO FOR A QUARTER ♪

♪ THIS LATE-SHIFT MASQUERADE ♪
♪ IT'S TWO FOR A QUARTER ♪
♪ IT'S A DIME FOR A DANCE ♪

♪ IT'S TWO FOR A QUARTER ♪
♪ IT'S A DIME FOR A DANCE ♪
♪ BUT YOUR WOOLWORTH RHINESTONE

♪ IT'S A DIME FOR A DANCE ♪
♪ BUT YOUR WOOLWORTH RHINESTONE
DIAMOND EARRINGS ♪

♪ BUT YOUR WOOLWORTH RHINESTONE
DIAMOND EARRINGS ♪
♪ YOU GIVE ME

DIAMOND EARRINGS ♪
♪ YOU GIVE ME
A SIDEWAYS GLANCE ♪

♪ YOU GIVE ME
A SIDEWAYS GLANCE ♪
♪ AND NOW THE REGISTER RINGS ♪

A SIDEWAYS GLANCE ♪
♪ AND NOW THE REGISTER RINGS ♪
♪ NOW THE WAITRESS SINGS ♪

♪ AND NOW THE REGISTER RINGS ♪
♪ NOW THE WAITRESS SINGS ♪
♪ EGGS AND SAUSAGE ♪

♪ NOW THE WAITRESS SINGS ♪
♪ EGGS AND SAUSAGE ♪
♪ AND A SIDE OF TOAST ♪

♪ EGGS AND SAUSAGE ♪
♪ AND A SIDE OF TOAST ♪
♪ COFFEE AND A ROLL ♪

♪ AND A SIDE OF TOAST ♪
♪ COFFEE AND A ROLL ♪
♪ HASH BROWNS OVER EASY ♪

♪ COFFEE AND A ROLL ♪
♪ HASH BROWNS OVER EASY ♪
♪ AND CHILI IN A BOWL ♪

♪ HASH BROWNS OVER EASY ♪
♪ AND CHILI IN A BOWL ♪
♪ WITH BURGERS AND FRIES ♪

♪ AND CHILI IN A BOWL ♪
♪ WITH BURGERS AND FRIES ♪
♪ NOW WHAT KIND OF PIE? ♪

♪ WITH BURGERS AND FRIES ♪
♪ NOW WHAT KIND OF PIE? ♪
[SCATTING]

♪ THE CLASSIFIED SECTION
OFFERED NO DIRECTION ♪
♪ I'M TALKING ABOUT A COLD

OFFERED NO DIRECTION ♪
♪ I'M TALKING ABOUT A COLD
CAFFEINE IN A NICOTINE CLOUD ♪

♪ I'M TALKING ABOUT A COLD
CAFFEINE IN A NICOTINE CLOUD ♪
♪ NOW THE TOUCH OF YOUR FINGERS

CAFFEINE IN A NICOTINE CLOUD ♪
♪ NOW THE TOUCH OF YOUR FINGERS
LINGERS BURNING IN MY MEMORY ♪

♪ NOW THE TOUCH OF YOUR FINGERS
LINGERS BURNING IN MY MEMORY ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I'VE BEEN 86ed

LINGERS BURNING IN MY MEMORY ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I'VE BEEN 86ed
FROM YOUR SCHEME ♪

♪ OH, BABY, I'VE BEEN 86ed
FROM YOUR SCHEME ♪
♪ I'M STUCK HERE IN A

FROM YOUR SCHEME ♪
♪ I'M STUCK HERE IN A
MELODRAMATIC NOCTURNAL SCENE ♪

♪ I'M STUCK HERE IN A
MELODRAMATIC NOCTURNAL SCENE ♪
♪ I'M JUST A REFUGEE

MELODRAMATIC NOCTURNAL SCENE ♪
♪ I'M JUST A REFUGEE
FROM A DISCONCERTED AFFAIR ♪

♪ I'M JUST A REFUGEE
FROM A DISCONCERTED AFFAIR ♪
♪ AS THE LEAD PIPE

FROM A DISCONCERTED AFFAIR ♪
♪ AS THE LEAD PIPE
MORNING FALLS ♪

♪ AS THE LEAD PIPE
MORNING FALLS ♪
♪ NOW THE WAITRESS CALLS ♪

MORNING FALLS ♪
♪ NOW THE WAITRESS CALLS ♪
♪ SHE SAID, EGGS AND SAUSAGE ♪

♪ NOW THE WAITRESS CALLS ♪
♪ SHE SAID, EGGS AND SAUSAGE ♪
♪ AND A SIDE OF TOAST ♪

♪ SHE SAID, EGGS AND SAUSAGE ♪
♪ AND A SIDE OF TOAST ♪
♪ COFFEE AND A ROLL ♪

♪ AND A SIDE OF TOAST ♪
♪ COFFEE AND A ROLL ♪
♪ HASH BROWNS OVER EASY ♪

♪ COFFEE AND A ROLL ♪
♪ HASH BROWNS OVER EASY ♪
♪ AND CHILI IN A BOWL ♪

♪ HASH BROWNS OVER EASY ♪
♪ AND CHILI IN A BOWL ♪
♪ WITH BURGERS AND FRIES ♪

♪ AND CHILI IN A BOWL ♪
♪ WITH BURGERS AND FRIES ♪
♪ NOW WHAT KIND OF PIE? ♪

♪ WITH BURGERS AND FRIES ♪
♪ NOW WHAT KIND OF PIE? ♪
♪ I'M GONNA GO IF YOU WILL ♪

♪ NOW WHAT KIND OF PIE? ♪
♪ I'M GONNA GO IF YOU WILL ♪
♪ TRISH GOT ME TO JOIN

♪ I'M GONNA GO IF YOU WILL ♪
♪ TRISH GOT ME TO JOIN
THE CROWD ♪

♪ TRISH GOT ME TO JOIN
THE CROWD ♪
♪ I GOT NOTHIN' ELSE TO DO ♪

THE CROWD ♪
♪ I GOT NOTHIN' ELSE TO DO ♪
♪ TRISH GOT ME TO JOIN

♪ I GOT NOTHIN' ELSE TO DO ♪
♪ TRISH GOT ME TO JOIN
THE CROWD ♪

♪ TRISH GOT ME TO JOIN
THE CROWD ♪
♪ I GOT NO BUSINESS

THE CROWD ♪
♪ I GOT NO BUSINESS
BUT MEANS OF SUPPORTIN' ♪

♪ I GOT NO BUSINESS
BUT MEANS OF SUPPORTIN' ♪
♪ TRISH GOT ME TO JOIN

BUT MEANS OF SUPPORTIN' ♪
♪ TRISH GOT ME TO JOIN
THE CROWD ♪

♪ TRISH GOT ME TO JOIN
THE CROWD ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I HAD ♪

THE CROWD ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I HAD ♪
♪ SOME TIME ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I HAD ♪
♪ SOME TIME ♪
♪ TO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-0 ♪

♪ SOME TIME ♪
♪ TO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-0 ♪
♪ KILL ♪

[SCATS]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HELLO, I'M DR. X, FAMILY
COUNSELOR.
FAMILY COUNSELING IS A

COUNSELOR.
FAMILY COUNSELING IS A
SPECIALIZED SERVICE.

FAMILY COUNSELING IS A
SPECIALIZED SERVICE.
MY ROLE AS A PROFESSIONAL

SPECIALIZED SERVICE.
MY ROLE AS A PROFESSIONAL
COUNSELOR IS TO PROVIDE A WARM,

MY ROLE AS A PROFESSIONAL
COUNSELOR IS TO PROVIDE A WARM,
SAFE ATMOSPHERE OF TRUST SO THAT

COUNSELOR IS TO PROVIDE A WARM,
SAFE ATMOSPHERE OF TRUST SO THAT
THE FAMILY CAN DISCUSS THEIR

SAFE ATMOSPHERE OF TRUST SO THAT
THE FAMILY CAN DISCUSS THEIR
PROBLEMS FREELY IN A COMFORTABLE

THE FAMILY CAN DISCUSS THEIR
PROBLEMS FREELY IN A COMFORTABLE
ENVIRONMENT.

PROBLEMS FREELY IN A COMFORTABLE
ENVIRONMENT.
TONIGHT, PLEASE JOIN ME AS I

ENVIRONMENT.
TONIGHT, PLEASE JOIN ME AS I
COUNSEL THE "M" FAMILY.

TONIGHT, PLEASE JOIN ME AS I
COUNSEL THE "M" FAMILY.
[HEART BEATING]

COUNSEL THE "M" FAMILY.
[HEART BEATING]
Announcer: AND NOW ANOTHER

[HEART BEATING]
Announcer: AND NOW ANOTHER
CASE FROM THE FILES OF DR. X,

Announcer: AND NOW ANOTHER
CASE FROM THE FILES OF DR. X,
FAMILY COUNSELOR.

CASE FROM THE FILES OF DR. X,
FAMILY COUNSELOR.
HELLO, MARK.

FAMILY COUNSELOR.
HELLO, MARK.
HELLO, HARRY.

HELLO, MARK.
HELLO, HARRY.
HELLO, COLLEEN.

HELLO, HARRY.
HELLO, COLLEEN.
I'M GLAD THAT ALL OF YOU COULD

HELLO, COLLEEN.
I'M GLAD THAT ALL OF YOU COULD
COME HERE TODAY.

I'M GLAD THAT ALL OF YOU COULD
COME HERE TODAY.
THIS IS A PLACE TO GROW, TO

COME HERE TODAY.
THIS IS A PLACE TO GROW, TO
SOLVE PROBLEMS, AND WE CAN ONLY

THIS IS A PLACE TO GROW, TO
SOLVE PROBLEMS, AND WE CAN ONLY
DO THIS BY TALKING AND

SOLVE PROBLEMS, AND WE CAN ONLY
DO THIS BY TALKING AND
COMMUNICATING.

DO THIS BY TALKING AND
COMMUNICATING.
I WANT EACH OF YOU TO FEEL FREE

COMMUNICATING.
I WANT EACH OF YOU TO FEEL FREE
TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL THAT

I WANT EACH OF YOU TO FEEL FREE
TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL THAT
COMES INTO YOUR MIND.

TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL THAT
COMES INTO YOUR MIND.
WHERE'D YOU GET THAT MASK?!

COMES INTO YOUR MIND.
WHERE'D YOU GET THAT MASK?!
MARK!

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT MASK?!
MARK!
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

MARK!
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
MASK?

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
MASK?
I GUESS YOU MEAN THIS MASK,

MASK?
I GUESS YOU MEAN THIS MASK,
MARK.

I GUESS YOU MEAN THIS MASK,
MARK.
WELL, UH, EVERYONE HAS AN IMAGE

MARK.
WELL, UH, EVERYONE HAS AN IMAGE
OR A FALSE FRONT IN LIFE, MARK.

WELL, UH, EVERYONE HAS AN IMAGE
OR A FALSE FRONT IN LIFE, MARK.
UM, EVERYONE WEARS A MASK.

OR A FALSE FRONT IN LIFE, MARK.
UM, EVERYONE WEARS A MASK.
YEAH, SURE.

UM, EVERYONE WEARS A MASK.
YEAH, SURE.
BUT NOT A SILVER MASK WITH HOLES

YEAH, SURE.
BUT NOT A SILVER MASK WITH HOLES
IN IT LIKE THAT ONE!

BUT NOT A SILVER MASK WITH HOLES
IN IT LIKE THAT ONE!
MARK!

IN IT LIKE THAT ONE!
MARK!
LEAVE ME ALONE!

MARK!
LEAVE ME ALONE!
ALL RIGHT.

LEAVE ME ALONE!
ALL RIGHT.
LET HIM HAVE HIS OWN SPACE,

ALL RIGHT.
LET HIM HAVE HIS OWN SPACE,
HARRY... THAT MIGHT BE PART OF

LET HIM HAVE HIS OWN SPACE,
HARRY... THAT MIGHT BE PART OF
THE PROBLEM.

HARRY... THAT MIGHT BE PART OF
THE PROBLEM.
HE NEEDS BREATHING SPACE.

THE PROBLEM.
HE NEEDS BREATHING SPACE.
MARK, FAIR ENOUGH.

HE NEEDS BREATHING SPACE.
MARK, FAIR ENOUGH.
IT'S A QUESTION, I'LL ANSWER IT.

MARK, FAIR ENOUGH.
IT'S A QUESTION, I'LL ANSWER IT.
I'LL TELL YOU WHERE I GOT THE

IT'S A QUESTION, I'LL ANSWER IT.
I'LL TELL YOU WHERE I GOT THE
MASK.

I'LL TELL YOU WHERE I GOT THE
MASK.
REMEMBER THAT MASSIVE SPILL OF

MASK.
REMEMBER THAT MASSIVE SPILL OF
LETHAL RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS

REMEMBER THAT MASSIVE SPILL OF
LETHAL RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS
NEAR BEATTY, NEVADA, IN 1956?

LETHAL RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS
NEAR BEATTY, NEVADA, IN 1956?
WELL, MARK...

NEAR BEATTY, NEVADA, IN 1956?
WELL, MARK...
[SCREAMING]

WELL, MARK...
[SCREAMING]
HEY! DR. X!

[SCREAMING]
HEY! DR. X!
TAKE IT EASY!

HEY! DR. X!
TAKE IT EASY!
OH, NOTHING...

TAKE IT EASY!
OH, NOTHING...
I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

OH, NOTHING...
I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
RELEASED A LITTLE OF MY OWN

I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
RELEASED A LITTLE OF MY OWN
TRAUMA THERE.

RELEASED A LITTLE OF MY OWN
TRAUMA THERE.
THANK YOU.

TRAUMA THERE.
THANK YOU.
HARRY, WHAT DO YOU SEE AS THE

THANK YOU.
HARRY, WHAT DO YOU SEE AS THE
SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM IN YOUR

HARRY, WHAT DO YOU SEE AS THE
SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM IN YOUR
FAMILY NOW?

SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM IN YOUR
FAMILY NOW?
WELL, IT'S THIS KID.

FAMILY NOW?
WELL, IT'S THIS KID.
HE'S MY SON.

WELL, IT'S THIS KID.
HE'S MY SON.
HE'S RUDE... YOU HEARD HIM.

HE'S MY SON.
HE'S RUDE... YOU HEARD HIM.
HE'S A ROTTEN KID.

HE'S RUDE... YOU HEARD HIM.
HE'S A ROTTEN KID.
BESIDES, HE NEVER, EVER LISTENS

HE'S A ROTTEN KID.
BESIDES, HE NEVER, EVER LISTENS
TO HIS MOTHER.

BESIDES, HE NEVER, EVER LISTENS
TO HIS MOTHER.
RIGHT, COLLEEN?

TO HIS MOTHER.
RIGHT, COLLEEN?
HARRY, THE BOY MIGHT JUST

RIGHT, COLLEEN?
HARRY, THE BOY MIGHT JUST
NEED SOME ELBOW ROOM, FREEDOM TO

HARRY, THE BOY MIGHT JUST
NEED SOME ELBOW ROOM, FREEDOM TO
EXPRESS HIMSELF.

NEED SOME ELBOW ROOM, FREEDOM TO
EXPRESS HIMSELF.
YOU KNOW, FREEDOM TO...

EXPRESS HIMSELF.
YOU KNOW, FREEDOM TO...
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT

YOU KNOW, FREEDOM TO...
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT
ARM?!

HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT
ARM?!
HEY! YOU FOOL!

ARM?!
HEY! YOU FOOL!
SHUT UP!

HEY! YOU FOOL!
SHUT UP!
TRY IT! TRY IT! TRY IT!

SHUT UP!
TRY IT! TRY IT! TRY IT!
YOU WANT TO TRY THE OLD MAN?

TRY IT! TRY IT! TRY IT!
YOU WANT TO TRY THE OLD MAN?
YOU WANT TO TRY THE OLD MAN?

YOU WANT TO TRY THE OLD MAN?
YOU WANT TO TRY THE OLD MAN?
HARRY.

YOU WANT TO TRY THE OLD MAN?
HARRY.
I GUESS YOU MEAN THIS ARM.

HARRY.
I GUESS YOU MEAN THIS ARM.
WELL, MARK, FAIR ENOUGH.

I GUESS YOU MEAN THIS ARM.
WELL, MARK, FAIR ENOUGH.
I'LL TELL YOU.

WELL, MARK, FAIR ENOUGH.
I'LL TELL YOU.
REMEMBER IN 1958 WHEN

I'LL TELL YOU.
REMEMBER IN 1958 WHEN
THE AIR FORCE TRIED TO COVER UP

REMEMBER IN 1958 WHEN
THE AIR FORCE TRIED TO COVER UP
THAT BAD ROCKET SLED ACCIDENT?

THE AIR FORCE TRIED TO COVER UP
THAT BAD ROCKET SLED ACCIDENT?
WELL, MARK, I HAPPENED TO BE

THAT BAD ROCKET SLED ACCIDENT?
WELL, MARK, I HAPPENED TO BE
THE...

WELL, MARK, I HAPPENED TO BE
THE...
[SCREAMING]

THE...
[SCREAMING]
DR. X! WHAT'S WRONG?

[SCREAMING]
DR. X! WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT'S WRONG, DR. X?

DR. X! WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT'S WRONG, DR. X?
OH, NOTHING...

WHAT'S WRONG, DR. X?
OH, NOTHING...
HARRY, YOU'VE GOT TO... WELL,

OH, NOTHING...
HARRY, YOU'VE GOT TO... WELL,
COLLEEN, YOU'VE CHOSEN TO REMAIN

HARRY, YOU'VE GOT TO... WELL,
COLLEEN, YOU'VE CHOSEN TO REMAIN
SILENT HERE.

COLLEEN, YOU'VE CHOSEN TO REMAIN
SILENT HERE.
MARK AND HARRY HAVE SAID THINGS.

SILENT HERE.
MARK AND HARRY HAVE SAID THINGS.
I'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

MARK AND HARRY HAVE SAID THINGS.
I'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
SHE'S FINE.

I'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
SHE'S FINE.
AREN'T YOU, HONEY?

SHE'S FINE.
AREN'T YOU, HONEY?
WELL, SHE'S NOT SAYING A

AREN'T YOU, HONEY?
WELL, SHE'S NOT SAYING A
WORD, HARRY.

WELL, SHE'S NOT SAYING A
WORD, HARRY.
SHE'S GOOD. SHE'S FINE.

WORD, HARRY.
SHE'S GOOD. SHE'S FINE.
I THINK SHE'S CATATONIC,

SHE'S GOOD. SHE'S FINE.
I THINK SHE'S CATATONIC,
HARRY.

I THINK SHE'S CATATONIC,
HARRY.
YOU'VE GOT TO FACE UP.

HARRY.
YOU'VE GOT TO FACE UP.
NOW, YOU CAME HERE PRETENDING

YOU'VE GOT TO FACE UP.
NOW, YOU CAME HERE PRETENDING
THAT IT WAS MARK WHO NEEDED THE

NOW, YOU CAME HERE PRETENDING
THAT IT WAS MARK WHO NEEDED THE
TREATMENT, WHEN IN FACT, YOUR

THAT IT WAS MARK WHO NEEDED THE
TREATMENT, WHEN IN FACT, YOUR
WIFE NEEDS THE COUNSELING AND

TREATMENT, WHEN IN FACT, YOUR
WIFE NEEDS THE COUNSELING AND
TREATMENT.

WIFE NEEDS THE COUNSELING AND
TREATMENT.
MY COLLEAGUE, DR. R.D. LAING,

TREATMENT.
MY COLLEAGUE, DR. R.D. LAING,
MIGHT SAY THAT YOU AND MARK ARE

MY COLLEAGUE, DR. R.D. LAING,
MIGHT SAY THAT YOU AND MARK ARE
IN COLLUSION.

MIGHT SAY THAT YOU AND MARK ARE
IN COLLUSION.
YOU'RE REINFORCING THE FALSE

IN COLLUSION.
YOU'RE REINFORCING THE FALSE
REALITY THAT COLLEEN IS NORMAL

YOU'RE REINFORCING THE FALSE
REALITY THAT COLLEEN IS NORMAL
AND NON-CATATONIC.

REALITY THAT COLLEEN IS NORMAL
AND NON-CATATONIC.
COME ON.

AND NON-CATATONIC.
COME ON.
SHE'S JUST SHY, DOCTOR.

COME ON.
SHE'S JUST SHY, DOCTOR.
HARRY, HARRY, WAKE UP AND

SHE'S JUST SHY, DOCTOR.
HARRY, HARRY, WAKE UP AND
SMELL THE COFFEE!

HARRY, HARRY, WAKE UP AND
SMELL THE COFFEE!
THE WOMAN'S VEGGED OUT!

SMELL THE COFFEE!
THE WOMAN'S VEGGED OUT!
SHE'S NULL AND VOID!

THE WOMAN'S VEGGED OUT!
SHE'S NULL AND VOID!
IT'S... IT'S SIMPLE... JACK

SHE'S NULL AND VOID!
IT'S... IT'S SIMPLE... JACK
MARRIES JILL, JILL HAS JOEY,

IT'S... IT'S SIMPLE... JACK
MARRIES JILL, JILL HAS JOEY,
JILL IS A VEG, JACK WON'T ADMIT

MARRIES JILL, JILL HAS JOEY,
JILL IS A VEG, JACK WON'T ADMIT
IT, JOEY PLAYS ALONG.

JILL IS A VEG, JACK WON'T ADMIT
IT, JOEY PLAYS ALONG.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MARK?

IT, JOEY PLAYS ALONG.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MARK?
SHE'S VEGGED OUT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, MARK?
SHE'S VEGGED OUT.
HOW DO YOU EAT WITH THAT MASK

SHE'S VEGGED OUT.
HOW DO YOU EAT WITH THAT MASK
ON?

HOW DO YOU EAT WITH THAT MASK
ON?
BACK OFF, MARK.

ON?
BACK OFF, MARK.
I USE TUBES AND LIQUID PROTEIN!

BACK OFF, MARK.
I USE TUBES AND LIQUID PROTEIN!
[SCREAMS, CRIES]

I USE TUBES AND LIQUID PROTEIN!
[SCREAMS, CRIES]
HEY! DR. X!

[SCREAMS, CRIES]
HEY! DR. X!
WHAT'S WRONG? LIGHTEN UP!

HEY! DR. X!
WHAT'S WRONG? LIGHTEN UP!
OH, NOTHING...

WHAT'S WRONG? LIGHTEN UP!
OH, NOTHING...
HEY, CAN YOU DRIVE A STICK

OH, NOTHING...
HEY, CAN YOU DRIVE A STICK
SHIFT WITH THAT ARM?

MARK, I HAPPEN TO OWN A
LAMBORGHINI MIURA, A VERY
EXPENSIVE FIVE-SPEED AUTOMOBILE.

LAMBORGHINI MIURA, A VERY
EXPENSIVE FIVE-SPEED AUTOMOBILE.
YES, I CAN DRIVE A STICK SHIFT.

EXPENSIVE FIVE-SPEED AUTOMOBILE.
YES, I CAN DRIVE A STICK SHIFT.
YOU'RE A FREAK, YOU KNOW

YES, I CAN DRIVE A STICK SHIFT.
YOU'RE A FREAK, YOU KNOW
THAT?

YOU'RE A FREAK, YOU KNOW
THAT?
THANK YOU.

THAT?
THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WEIRD, YOU KNOW?

THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WEIRD, YOU KNOW?
YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SOME HEAVY

YOU'RE WEIRD, YOU KNOW?
YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SOME HEAVY
STUFF, MAN, YOU KNOW?

YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SOME HEAVY
STUFF, MAN, YOU KNOW?
I'D LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU IF

STUFF, MAN, YOU KNOW?
I'D LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU IF
I CAN.

I'D LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU IF
I CAN.
MARK, YOU COULD COME HERE AND

I CAN.
MARK, YOU COULD COME HERE AND
WORK AT THE CLINIC WITH ME IF

MARK, YOU COULD COME HERE AND
WORK AT THE CLINIC WITH ME IF
YOU WANTED TO.

WORK AT THE CLINIC WITH ME IF
YOU WANTED TO.
WOULD THAT BE ALL RIGHT, HARRY?

YOU WANTED TO.
WOULD THAT BE ALL RIGHT, HARRY?
IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO

WOULD THAT BE ALL RIGHT, HARRY?
IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO
SOMETHING WITH THIS KID, TAKE

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO
SOMETHING WITH THIS KID, TAKE
HIM.

SOMETHING WITH THIS KID, TAKE
HIM.
I'D LOVE TO GET HIM OFF MY

HIM.
I'D LOVE TO GET HIM OFF MY
HANDS.

I'D LOVE TO GET HIM OFF MY
HANDS.
I THINK THAT'S A GOOD

HANDS.
I THINK THAT'S A GOOD
WORK-OUT OF THE PROBLEM HERE.

I THINK THAT'S A GOOD
WORK-OUT OF THE PROBLEM HERE.
IF MARK STARTS WORK, THEN HE

WORK-OUT OF THE PROBLEM HERE.
IF MARK STARTS WORK, THEN HE
CAN... I'LL GIVE HIM SOME ELBOW

IF MARK STARTS WORK, THEN HE
CAN... I'LL GIVE HIM SOME ELBOW
ROOM, SOME FREE SPACE, AND HE

CAN... I'LL GIVE HIM SOME ELBOW
ROOM, SOME FREE SPACE, AND HE
CAN JUST RELAX.

ROOM, SOME FREE SPACE, AND HE
CAN JUST RELAX.
YOU CAN GO AND START WORK IN THE

CAN JUST RELAX.
YOU CAN GO AND START WORK IN THE
LAB RIGHT NOW.

YOU CAN GO AND START WORK IN THE
LAB RIGHT NOW.
GO AHEAD AND GLINDA WILL GIVE

LAB RIGHT NOW.
GO AHEAD AND GLINDA WILL GIVE
YOU A LAB COAT.

GO AHEAD AND GLINDA WILL GIVE
YOU A LAB COAT.
THANKS A LOT, DOC!

YOU A LAB COAT.
THANKS A LOT, DOC!
SEE YOU LATER, FOLKS!

THANKS A LOT, DOC!
SEE YOU LATER, FOLKS!
NICE WORKIN' WITH YOU!

SEE YOU LATER, FOLKS!
NICE WORKIN' WITH YOU!
WE HAVE TO WORK THESE

NICE WORKIN' WITH YOU!
WE HAVE TO WORK THESE
PROBLEMS OUT, AND, UH...

WE HAVE TO WORK THESE
PROBLEMS OUT, AND, UH...
[MARK SCREAMING, SAW BUZZING]

PROBLEMS OUT, AND, UH...
[MARK SCREAMING, SAW BUZZING]
[DOG BARKING, SAW BUZZING]

[MARK SCREAMING, SAW BUZZING]
[DOG BARKING, SAW BUZZING]
HEY, X, WHAT'S GOING ON IN

[DOG BARKING, SAW BUZZING]
HEY, X, WHAT'S GOING ON IN
THERE?

HEY, X, WHAT'S GOING ON IN
THERE?
OHHHHHH, NOTHING...

THERE?
OHHHHHH, NOTHING...
Announcer: JOIN US NEXT WEEK

OHHHHHH, NOTHING...
Announcer: JOIN US NEXT WEEK
FOR ANOTHER CASE WITH DR. X,

Announcer: JOIN US NEXT WEEK
FOR ANOTHER CASE WITH DR. X,
FAMILY COUNSELOR.

FOR ANOTHER CASE WITH DR. X,
FAMILY COUNSELOR.
[HEART BEATING]

FAMILY COUNSELOR.
[HEART BEATING]
[APPLAUSE]

OH!

Announcer: AND NOW,
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH
JANE CURTIN.

"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH
JANE CURTIN.
GOOD EVENING.

JANE CURTIN.
GOOD EVENING.
I'M JANE CURTIN.

GOOD EVENING.
I'M JANE CURTIN.
HERE NOW, THE NEWS.

I'M JANE CURTIN.
HERE NOW, THE NEWS.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT,

HERE NOW, THE NEWS.
OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT,
ANITA BRYANT, FORMER MEDIOCRE

OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT,
ANITA BRYANT, FORMER MEDIOCRE
ACTRESS AND ORANGE JUICE

ANITA BRYANT, FORMER MEDIOCRE
ACTRESS AND ORANGE JUICE
PROMOTER, PERFORMED COITUS IN

ACTRESS AND ORANGE JUICE
PROMOTER, PERFORMED COITUS IN
PUBLIC YESTERDAY AS PART OF HER

PROMOTER, PERFORMED COITUS IN
PUBLIC YESTERDAY AS PART OF HER
CAMPAIGN TO PROMOTE

PUBLIC YESTERDAY AS PART OF HER
CAMPAIGN TO PROMOTE
HETEROSEXUALITY.

CAMPAIGN TO PROMOTE
HETEROSEXUALITY.
SHE AND HER HUSBAND ASSUMED THE

HETEROSEXUALITY.
SHE AND HER HUSBAND ASSUMED THE
MISSIONARY POSITION FOR TWO

SHE AND HER HUSBAND ASSUMED THE
MISSIONARY POSITION FOR TWO
MINUTES, THEN ANNOUNCED SHE IS A

MISSIONARY POSITION FOR TWO
MINUTES, THEN ANNOUNCED SHE IS A
"CITRO-SEXUAL."

MINUTES, THEN ANNOUNCED SHE IS A
"CITRO-SEXUAL."
WELL, ANOTHER AVIATION DISASTER.

"CITRO-SEXUAL."
WELL, ANOTHER AVIATION DISASTER.
DUMBO THE FLYING ELEPHANT

WELL, ANOTHER AVIATION DISASTER.
DUMBO THE FLYING ELEPHANT
CRASHED JUST SHORT OF

DUMBO THE FLYING ELEPHANT
CRASHED JUST SHORT OF
DISNEY WORLD AIRPORT RUNWAY LAST

CRASHED JUST SHORT OF
DISNEY WORLD AIRPORT RUNWAY LAST
NIGHT WHEN ONE OF HIS EARS

DISNEY WORLD AIRPORT RUNWAY LAST
NIGHT WHEN ONE OF HIS EARS
FAILED IN A HAILSTORM.

NIGHT WHEN ONE OF HIS EARS
FAILED IN A HAILSTORM.
IT'S THE THIRD JUMBO CRASH THIS

FAILED IN A HAILSTORM.
IT'S THE THIRD JUMBO CRASH THIS
MONTH.

IT'S THE THIRD JUMBO CRASH THIS
MONTH.
THIS WEEK IN SPORTS, IN

MONTH.
THIS WEEK IN SPORTS, IN
CINCINNATI, THE OPENING GAME

THIS WEEK IN SPORTS, IN
CINCINNATI, THE OPENING GAME
BETWEEN THE REDS AND THE

CINCINNATI, THE OPENING GAME
BETWEEN THE REDS AND THE
SAN DIEGO PADRES WAS CANCELED

BETWEEN THE REDS AND THE
SAN DIEGO PADRES WAS CANCELED
DUE TO COCAINE.

SAN DIEGO PADRES WAS CANCELED
DUE TO COCAINE.
HOWEVER, THE 60,000 FANS HAD A

DUE TO COCAINE.
HOWEVER, THE 60,000 FANS HAD A
GOOD TIME ANYWAY.

HOWEVER, THE 60,000 FANS HAD A
GOOD TIME ANYWAY.
WELL, THE WORLD'S YOUNGEST

GOOD TIME ANYWAY.
WELL, THE WORLD'S YOUNGEST
TERRORIST WAS CAPTURED THIS

WELL, THE WORLD'S YOUNGEST
TERRORIST WAS CAPTURED THIS
MORNING AFTER HOLDING 10 PEOPLE

TERRORIST WAS CAPTURED THIS
MORNING AFTER HOLDING 10 PEOPLE
HOSTAGE IN A MANHATTAN OFFICE

MORNING AFTER HOLDING 10 PEOPLE
HOSTAGE IN A MANHATTAN OFFICE
BUILDING.

HOSTAGE IN A MANHATTAN OFFICE
BUILDING.
AUTHORITIES MET HIS DEMAND,

BUILDING.
AUTHORITIES MET HIS DEMAND,
WHICH INCLUDED BEING PACKED IN A

AUTHORITIES MET HIS DEMAND,
WHICH INCLUDED BEING PACKED IN A
BOX AND MAILED TO TATUM O'NEAL.

WHICH INCLUDED BEING PACKED IN A
BOX AND MAILED TO TATUM O'NEAL.
SURGEONS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF

BOX AND MAILED TO TATUM O'NEAL.
SURGEONS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF
MISSOURI REPORTED THIS WEEK THAT

SURGEONS AT THE UNIVERSITY OF
MISSOURI REPORTED THIS WEEK THAT
THEY HAVE PERFORMED THE FIRST

MISSOURI REPORTED THIS WEEK THAT
THEY HAVE PERFORMED THE FIRST
FEMALE-TO-MALE TRANSSEXUAL

THEY HAVE PERFORMED THE FIRST
FEMALE-TO-MALE TRANSSEXUAL
OPERATION, GIVING THE PATIENT A

FEMALE-TO-MALE TRANSSEXUAL
OPERATION, GIVING THE PATIENT A
PENIS CAPABLE OF EXCITEMENT.

OPERATION, GIVING THE PATIENT A
PENIS CAPABLE OF EXCITEMENT.
THE PENIS CONTAINS A TINY

PENIS CAPABLE OF EXCITEMENT.
THE PENIS CONTAINS A TINY
HYDRAULIC SYSTEM CONNECTED TO AN

THE PENIS CONTAINS A TINY
HYDRAULIC SYSTEM CONNECTED TO AN
ABDOMINAL RESERVOIR OF FLUID,

HYDRAULIC SYSTEM CONNECTED TO AN
ABDOMINAL RESERVOIR OF FLUID,
WHICH IS PUMPED INTO THE ORGAN

ABDOMINAL RESERVOIR OF FLUID,
WHICH IS PUMPED INTO THE ORGAN
FOR THE DESIRED RESULT.

WHICH IS PUMPED INTO THE ORGAN
FOR THE DESIRED RESULT.
DOCTORS SAY THE MECHANISM IS

FOR THE DESIRED RESULT.
DOCTORS SAY THE MECHANISM IS
VIRTUALLY FOOLPROOF, BUT THE

DOCTORS SAY THE MECHANISM IS
VIRTUALLY FOOLPROOF, BUT THE
PATIENT MUST RETURN ONCE A YEAR

VIRTUALLY FOOLPROOF, BUT THE
PATIENT MUST RETURN ONCE A YEAR
FOR A 1,000-INCH CHECKUP.

PATIENT MUST RETURN ONCE A YEAR
FOR A 1,000-INCH CHECKUP.
STILL TO COME, BASEBALL

FOR A 1,000-INCH CHECKUP.
STILL TO COME, BASEBALL
COMMISSIONER OKAYS

STILL TO COME, BASEBALL
COMMISSIONER OKAYS
FLAMETHROWERS, AFTER THIS

COMMISSIONER OKAYS
FLAMETHROWERS, AFTER THIS
MESSAGE.

FLAMETHROWERS, AFTER THIS
MESSAGE.
[APPLAUSE]

MESSAGE.
[APPLAUSE]
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYS]

[APPLAUSE]
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY,

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY,
NEGRO ♪

♪ YOU'VE COME A LONG WAY,
NEGRO ♪
♪ TO GET WHERE YOU'VE GOT TO

NEGRO ♪
♪ TO GET WHERE YOU'VE GOT TO
TODAY ♪

♪ TO GET WHERE YOU'VE GOT TO
TODAY ♪
♪ YES, YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN

TODAY ♪
♪ YES, YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN
HAIR SPRAY NOW, NEGRO ♪

♪ YES, YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN
HAIR SPRAY NOW, NEGRO ♪
♪ YOU'VE COME A LONG, LONG WAY ♪

HAIR SPRAY NOW, NEGRO ♪
♪ YOU'VE COME A LONG, LONG WAY ♪
HEY, THERE, NEGRO.

♪ YOU'VE COME A LONG, LONG WAY ♪
HEY, THERE, NEGRO.
TRY RIGHT-ON AFRO LUSTRE, FOR

HEY, THERE, NEGRO.
TRY RIGHT-ON AFRO LUSTRE, FOR
THAT RIGHT-ON NATURAL LOOK.

TRY RIGHT-ON AFRO LUSTRE, FOR
THAT RIGHT-ON NATURAL LOOK.
YOU'LL KNOW IT BECAUSE THE

THAT RIGHT-ON NATURAL LOOK.
YOU'LL KNOW IT BECAUSE THE
CANISTER IS SHAPED LIKE A FIST.

YOU'LL KNOW IT BECAUSE THE
CANISTER IS SHAPED LIKE A FIST.
♪ YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN

CANISTER IS SHAPED LIKE A FIST.
♪ YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN
HAIR SPRAY NOW, NEGRO ♪

♪ YOU'VE GOT YOUR OWN
HAIR SPRAY NOW, NEGRO ♪
♪ YOU'VE COME A LONG, LONG WAY ♪

HAIR SPRAY NOW, NEGRO ♪
♪ YOU'VE COME A LONG, LONG WAY ♪
RIGHT ON!

IN RUSSIA THIS WEEK, THE
SOVIETS UNVEILED THE WORLD'S
FIRST DISPOSABLE SPACE VEHICLE.

SOVIETS UNVEILED THE WORLD'S
FIRST DISPOSABLE SPACE VEHICLE.
CALLED THE TAMPONSKI, IT IS

FIRST DISPOSABLE SPACE VEHICLE.
CALLED THE TAMPONSKI, IT IS
SCHEDULED TO DOCK WITH THE

CALLED THE TAMPONSKI, IT IS
SCHEDULED TO DOCK WITH THE
MOTHER SHIP IN 29 DAYS.

SCHEDULED TO DOCK WITH THE
MOTHER SHIP IN 29 DAYS.
HEAVYWEIGHT CONTENDER KEN NORTON

MOTHER SHIP IN 29 DAYS.
HEAVYWEIGHT CONTENDER KEN NORTON
ANNOUNCED HE WILL FIGHT A

HEAVYWEIGHT CONTENDER KEN NORTON
ANNOUNCED HE WILL FIGHT A
ROLLS-ROYCE IN MADISON SQUARE

ANNOUNCED HE WILL FIGHT A
ROLLS-ROYCE IN MADISON SQUARE
GARDEN NEXT MONTH.

ROLLS-ROYCE IN MADISON SQUARE
GARDEN NEXT MONTH.
SHOWN HERE WITH HIS WHITE

GARDEN NEXT MONTH.
SHOWN HERE WITH HIS WHITE
OPPONENT, NORTON SAYS, "I CAN

SHOWN HERE WITH HIS WHITE
OPPONENT, NORTON SAYS, "I CAN
TAKE THIS HONKY IN THREE

OPPONENT, NORTON SAYS, "I CAN
TAKE THIS HONKY IN THREE
ROUNDS."

TAKE THIS HONKY IN THREE
ROUNDS."
WHEN RED CHINESE LEADER

ROUNDS."
WHEN RED CHINESE LEADER
MAO TSE-TUNG DIED LAST YEAR, IT

WHEN RED CHINESE LEADER
MAO TSE-TUNG DIED LAST YEAR, IT
WAS NOT REVEALED THAT HIS WIFE,

MAO TSE-TUNG DIED LAST YEAR, IT
WAS NOT REVEALED THAT HIS WIFE,
MADAME MAO, WAS PREGNANT.

WAS NOT REVEALED THAT HIS WIFE,
MADAME MAO, WAS PREGNANT.
THIS WEEK, A BABY WAS BORN, HAS

MADAME MAO, WAS PREGNANT.
THIS WEEK, A BABY WAS BORN, HAS
ALREADY TAKEN OVER THE REINS OF

THIS WEEK, A BABY WAS BORN, HAS
ALREADY TAKEN OVER THE REINS OF
GOVERNMENT IN PEKING.

ALREADY TAKEN OVER THE REINS OF
GOVERNMENT IN PEKING.
HIS OFFICIAL TITLE,

GOVERNMENT IN PEKING.
HIS OFFICIAL TITLE,
HIGH-CHAIRMAN MAO.

HIS OFFICIAL TITLE,
HIGH-CHAIRMAN MAO.
[AUDIENCE GROANS]

HIGH-CHAIRMAN MAO.
[AUDIENCE GROANS]
HIGH CHAIR... MAN.

[AUDIENCE GROANS]
HIGH CHAIR... MAN.
WELL, THE NEW YORK PORT

HIGH CHAIR... MAN.
WELL, THE NEW YORK PORT
AUTHORITY HAS FINALLY GIVEN

WELL, THE NEW YORK PORT
AUTHORITY HAS FINALLY GIVEN
BRITAIN AND FRANCE PERMISSION TO

AUTHORITY HAS FINALLY GIVEN
BRITAIN AND FRANCE PERMISSION TO
LAND THEIR CONCORDE SST AT

BRITAIN AND FRANCE PERMISSION TO
LAND THEIR CONCORDE SST AT
KENNEDY AIRPORT.

LAND THEIR CONCORDE SST AT
KENNEDY AIRPORT.
THE FIRST CONCORDE BOUND FOR

KENNEDY AIRPORT.
THE FIRST CONCORDE BOUND FOR
KENNEDY LEFT PARIS 2 1/2 HOURS

THE FIRST CONCORDE BOUND FOR
KENNEDY LEFT PARIS 2 1/2 HOURS
AGO AND SHOULD BE ARRIVING IN

KENNEDY LEFT PARIS 2 1/2 HOURS
AGO AND SHOULD BE ARRIVING IN
NEW YORK RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

AGO AND SHOULD BE ARRIVING IN
NEW YORK RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
ENVIRONMENTALISTS WHO OPPOSE THE

NEW YORK RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
ENVIRONMENTALISTS WHO OPPOSE THE
CONCORDE...

ENVIRONMENTALISTS WHO OPPOSE THE
CONCORDE...
[CONCORDE ROARS OVERHEAD]

CONCORDE...
[CONCORDE ROARS OVERHEAD]
[APPLAUSE]

[CONCORDE ROARS OVERHEAD]
[APPLAUSE]
[ROARING CONTINUES]

BUT AS USUAL, THE
ENVIRONMENTALISTS CLAIM THAT
THEIR PROTESTS WERE NEVER HEARD.

ENVIRONMENTALISTS CLAIM THAT
THEIR PROTESTS WERE NEVER HEARD.
THAT'S THE NEWS.

THEIR PROTESTS WERE NEVER HEARD.
THAT'S THE NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT

THAT'S THE NEWS.
GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.

GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[PIANO PLAYS MOTOWN MUSIC]

♪ GIRL, YOU'VE GIVEN ME
EVERYTHING THAT MONEY CAN BUY ♪
♪ AND IT'S ONLY ON YOUR ACCOUNT

EVERYTHING THAT MONEY CAN BUY ♪
♪ AND IT'S ONLY ON YOUR ACCOUNT
THAT MY INTEREST

♪ AND IT'S ONLY ON YOUR ACCOUNT
THAT MY INTEREST
HAS STAYED SO HIGH ♪

THAT MY INTEREST
HAS STAYED SO HIGH ♪
♪ YOU ARE MY PERSONAL SAVINGS

HAS STAYED SO HIGH ♪
♪ YOU ARE MY PERSONAL SAVINGS
AND LOAN ♪

♪ YOU ARE MY PERSONAL SAVINGS
AND LOAN ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪

AND LOAN ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪

♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ YOU ARE SAVING ME FROM

♪ DO, DO, DO, DO ♪
♪ YOU ARE SAVING ME FROM
BEING ALONE ♪

♪ YOU ARE SAVING ME FROM
BEING ALONE ♪
♪ I WANT TO WITHDRAW

BEING ALONE ♪
♪ I WANT TO WITHDRAW
YOUR DEVOTION ♪

♪ I WANT TO WITHDRAW
YOUR DEVOTION ♪
♪ AND DEPOSIT MY EMOTION ♪

YOUR DEVOTION ♪
♪ AND DEPOSIT MY EMOTION ♪
♪ SAY, I FEEL LIKE A RICH MAN ♪

♪ AND DEPOSIT MY EMOTION ♪
♪ SAY, I FEEL LIKE A RICH MAN ♪
♪ WITH ONLY YOU, BABY,

♪ SAY, I FEEL LIKE A RICH MAN ♪
♪ WITH ONLY YOU, BABY,
TO THANK ♪

♪ WITH ONLY YOU, BABY,
TO THANK ♪
♪ YES! ♪

TO THANK ♪
♪ YES! ♪
♪ I'M CRYING ALL THE WAY

♪ YES! ♪
♪ I'M CRYING ALL THE WAY
TO THE LOVE BANK ♪

♪ I'M CRYING ALL THE WAY
TO THE LOVE BANK ♪
WAIT, STOP, STOP, STOP!

TO THE LOVE BANK ♪
WAIT, STOP, STOP, STOP!
♪ LOVE BANK ♪

WAIT, STOP, STOP, STOP!
♪ LOVE BANK ♪
COME ON, STOP, STOP, STOP,

♪ LOVE BANK ♪
COME ON, STOP, STOP, STOP,
STOP.

COME ON, STOP, STOP, STOP,
STOP.
STOP, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG

STOP.
STOP, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG
HERE.

STOP, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG
HERE.
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE.

HERE.
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE.
WHAT'S WRONG, MAN?

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE.
WHAT'S WRONG, MAN?
THERE'S SOMETHING SERIOUSLY

WHAT'S WRONG, MAN?
THERE'S SOMETHING SERIOUSLY
WRONG HERE.

THERE'S SOMETHING SERIOUSLY
WRONG HERE.
I'M GIVING YOU KIDS A BREAK.

WRONG HERE.
I'M GIVING YOU KIDS A BREAK.
I'M LETTING YOU WORK IN MY CLUB,

I'M GIVING YOU KIDS A BREAK.
I'M LETTING YOU WORK IN MY CLUB,
I'M PAYING YOU GOOD MONEY, I'M

I'M LETTING YOU WORK IN MY CLUB,
I'M PAYING YOU GOOD MONEY, I'M
GIVING YOU MY PROFESSIONAL

I'M PAYING YOU GOOD MONEY, I'M
GIVING YOU MY PROFESSIONAL
OPINION, AND I KNOW WHAT I'M

GIVING YOU MY PROFESSIONAL
OPINION, AND I KNOW WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.

OPINION, AND I KNOW WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.
YEAH, SO?

TALKING ABOUT.
YEAH, SO?
SO, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE

YEAH, SO?
SO, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE
OPENING HERE TONIGHT, AND

SO, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE
OPENING HERE TONIGHT, AND
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.

OPENING HERE TONIGHT, AND
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.
YOU JUST DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.
YOU JUST DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU
BELONG IN A NIGHTCLUB.

YOU JUST DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU
BELONG IN A NIGHTCLUB.
WELL, I WANT TO TELL YOU

BELONG IN A NIGHTCLUB.
WELL, I WANT TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING,

WELL, I WANT TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING,
MR. NIGHTCLUB MANAGER.

SOMETHING,
MR. NIGHTCLUB MANAGER.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG?

MR. NIGHTCLUB MANAGER.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG?
YOU KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS?

YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG?
YOU KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS?
THE PROBLEM IS, WE SHOULD ALL BE

YOU KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS?
THE PROBLEM IS, WE SHOULD ALL BE
WEARING VESTS!

THE PROBLEM IS, WE SHOULD ALL BE
WEARING VESTS!
NO, MAN, I'M TALKING ABOUT

WEARING VESTS!
NO, MAN, I'M TALKING ABOUT
YOUR PERFORMANCE.

NO, MAN, I'M TALKING ABOUT
YOUR PERFORMANCE.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT IS

YOUR PERFORMANCE.
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT IS
YOUR PERFORMANCE.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT IS
YOUR PERFORMANCE.
AND ONE THING, FONTAINE...

YOUR PERFORMANCE.
AND ONE THING, FONTAINE...
WHAT?

AND ONE THING, FONTAINE...
WHAT?
I CAN HEAR YOU BREATHE.

WHAT?
I CAN HEAR YOU BREATHE.
YOU BREATHING IN ALL THE WRONG

I CAN HEAR YOU BREATHE.
YOU BREATHING IN ALL THE WRONG
PLACES.

YOU BREATHING IN ALL THE WRONG
PLACES.
YOU HAVE TO SING WHEN EVERYONE

PLACES.
YOU HAVE TO SING WHEN EVERYONE
ELSE SINGS, BREATHE WHEN

YOU HAVE TO SING WHEN EVERYONE
ELSE SINGS, BREATHE WHEN
EVERYONE ELSE BREATHES.

ELSE SINGS, BREATHE WHEN
EVERYONE ELSE BREATHES.
HEY, MAN, DON'T YOU BE

EVERYONE ELSE BREATHES.
HEY, MAN, DON'T YOU BE
TELLING ME HOW TO BREATHE, MAN.

HEY, MAN, DON'T YOU BE
TELLING ME HOW TO BREATHE, MAN.
NOBODY'S GONNA BE TELLING

TELLING ME HOW TO BREATHE, MAN.
NOBODY'S GONNA BE TELLING
FONTAINE PARKS HOW TO BREATHE,

NOBODY'S GONNA BE TELLING
FONTAINE PARKS HOW TO BREATHE,
BECAUSE HE IS A SELF-BREATHER.

FONTAINE PARKS HOW TO BREATHE,
BECAUSE HE IS A SELF-BREATHER.
YOU DIG?

BECAUSE HE IS A SELF-BREATHER.
YOU DIG?
THAT'S TRUE, MAN.

YOU DIG?
THAT'S TRUE, MAN.
ONE DAY, I WAS WITH FONTAINE,

THAT'S TRUE, MAN.
ONE DAY, I WAS WITH FONTAINE,
AND HE WAS BREATHING.

ONE DAY, I WAS WITH FONTAINE,
AND HE WAS BREATHING.
I SAID, "HEY, FONTAINE, YOU

AND HE WAS BREATHING.
I SAID, "HEY, FONTAINE, YOU
BREATHING ALL WRONG.

I SAID, "HEY, FONTAINE, YOU
BREATHING ALL WRONG.
YOU GOT TO CHANGE.

BREATHING ALL WRONG.
YOU GOT TO CHANGE.
YOU CAN'T BREATHE LIKE THAT.

YOU GOT TO CHANGE.
YOU CAN'T BREATHE LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE BREATHING THE WRONG WAY,"

YOU CAN'T BREATHE LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE BREATHING THE WRONG WAY,"
AND HE WOULDN'T.

YOU'RE BREATHING THE WRONG WAY,"
AND HE WOULDN'T.
RIGHT.

AND HE WOULDN'T.
RIGHT.
AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER

RIGHT.
AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER
SOMETHING ELSE, ALL RIGHT?

AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER
SOMETHING ELSE, ALL RIGHT?
FONTAINE PARKS ALMOST KILLED A

SOMETHING ELSE, ALL RIGHT?
FONTAINE PARKS ALMOST KILLED A
MAN.

FONTAINE PARKS ALMOST KILLED A
MAN.
THAT'S RIGHT.

MAN.
THAT'S RIGHT.
HE WOULD'VE, TOO... ONLY HE

THAT'S RIGHT.
HE WOULD'VE, TOO... ONLY HE
DIDN'T.

HE WOULD'VE, TOO... ONLY HE
DIDN'T.
HA!

DIDN'T.
HA!
I CAN'T HELP IT!

HA!
I CAN'T HELP IT!
FONTAINE, WHEN YOU ARE

I CAN'T HELP IT!
FONTAINE, WHEN YOU ARE
OUTSIDE THIS ROOM, YOU CAN

FONTAINE, WHEN YOU ARE
OUTSIDE THIS ROOM, YOU CAN
BREATHE ANY WAY YOU WANT.

OUTSIDE THIS ROOM, YOU CAN
BREATHE ANY WAY YOU WANT.
BUT WHEN YOU IN MY CLUB AND YOU

BREATHE ANY WAY YOU WANT.
BUT WHEN YOU IN MY CLUB AND YOU
BREATHING MY AIR, I WANT YOU TO

BUT WHEN YOU IN MY CLUB AND YOU
BREATHING MY AIR, I WANT YOU TO
BREATHE IT MY WAY, OR YOU CAN

BREATHING MY AIR, I WANT YOU TO
BREATHE IT MY WAY, OR YOU CAN
FORGET ALL OF THOSE FREE WHISKEY

BREATHE IT MY WAY, OR YOU CAN
FORGET ALL OF THOSE FREE WHISKEY
SOURS TO GO, YOU UNDERSTAND?

FORGET ALL OF THOSE FREE WHISKEY
SOURS TO GO, YOU UNDERSTAND?
OKAY, LET'S HEAR THE NEXT VERSE.

SOURS TO GO, YOU UNDERSTAND?
OKAY, LET'S HEAR THE NEXT VERSE.
♪ ALL OF MY FRIENDS, THEY SAY

OKAY, LET'S HEAR THE NEXT VERSE.
♪ ALL OF MY FRIENDS, THEY SAY
THAT I AM REALLY DUMB ♪

♪ ALL OF MY FRIENDS, THEY SAY
THAT I AM REALLY DUMB ♪
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.

THAT I AM REALLY DUMB ♪
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
HOLD IT... THAT'S IT.

HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
HOLD IT... THAT'S IT.
I KNOW IT, THAT'S WHAT'S MISSING

HOLD IT... THAT'S IT.
I KNOW IT, THAT'S WHAT'S MISSING
IS THE GESTURES.

I KNOW IT, THAT'S WHAT'S MISSING
IS THE GESTURES.
THE HAND GESTURES... THAT NIGHT

IS THE GESTURES.
THE HAND GESTURES... THAT NIGHT
WHEN I SIGNED YOU WHEN YOU WERE

THE HAND GESTURES... THAT NIGHT
WHEN I SIGNED YOU WHEN YOU WERE
SINGING IN FRONT OF COBO HALL

WHEN I SIGNED YOU WHEN YOU WERE
SINGING IN FRONT OF COBO HALL
BEFORE THE CONCERT, YOU WERE

SINGING IN FRONT OF COBO HALL
BEFORE THE CONCERT, YOU WERE
USING ALL KINDS OF HAND

BEFORE THE CONCERT, YOU WERE
USING ALL KINDS OF HAND
GESTURES.

USING ALL KINDS OF HAND
GESTURES.
NOW, WHY'D YOU CUT THEM OUT?

GESTURES.
NOW, WHY'D YOU CUT THEM OUT?
WELL, LIKE, THE NIGHT YOU

NOW, WHY'D YOU CUT THEM OUT?
WELL, LIKE, THE NIGHT YOU
SIGNED US UP IN FRONT OF

WELL, LIKE, THE NIGHT YOU
SIGNED US UP IN FRONT OF
COBO HALL, LIKE, WE WAS SINGING,

SIGNED US UP IN FRONT OF
COBO HALL, LIKE, WE WAS SINGING,
BUT, LIKE, MAINLY WE WAS WORKING

COBO HALL, LIKE, WE WAS SINGING,
BUT, LIKE, MAINLY WE WAS WORKING
FOR THE PARKING LOT, PARKING

BUT, LIKE, MAINLY WE WAS WORKING
FOR THE PARKING LOT, PARKING
CARS, DIRECTING TRAFFIC.

FOR THE PARKING LOT, PARKING
CARS, DIRECTING TRAFFIC.
LIKE, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAW.

CARS, DIRECTING TRAFFIC.
LIKE, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAW.
WELL...

LIKE, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAW.
WELL...
IT LOOKED...

WELL...
IT LOOKED...
[APPLAUSE]

IT LOOKED...
[APPLAUSE]
WHATEVER IT WAS, IT LOOKED

[APPLAUSE]
WHATEVER IT WAS, IT LOOKED
REALLY SLICK.

WHATEVER IT WAS, IT LOOKED
REALLY SLICK.
LET ME SEE THEM AGAIN.

REALLY SLICK.
LET ME SEE THEM AGAIN.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

LET ME SEE THEM AGAIN.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
♪ ONCE I HEARD A BLIND MAN SING

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
♪ ONCE I HEARD A BLIND MAN SING
THAT HE JUST COULD NOT SEE ♪

♪ ONCE I HEARD A BLIND MAN SING
THAT HE JUST COULD NOT SEE ♪
♪ THAT DON'T HAVE NOTHING TO DO

THAT HE JUST COULD NOT SEE ♪
♪ THAT DON'T HAVE NOTHING TO DO
WITH YOU OR ME ♪

♪ THAT DON'T HAVE NOTHING TO DO
WITH YOU OR ME ♪
OKAY, THAT'S GREAT.

WITH YOU OR ME ♪
OKAY, THAT'S GREAT.
THAT'S JUST GREAT.

OKAY, THAT'S GREAT.
THAT'S JUST GREAT.
WE'RE GONNA LEAVE THE MOVES IN.

THAT'S JUST GREAT.
WE'RE GONNA LEAVE THE MOVES IN.
HEY, HEY, LIKE, WAIT A

WE'RE GONNA LEAVE THE MOVES IN.
HEY, HEY, LIKE, WAIT A
MINUTE, MAN.

HEY, HEY, LIKE, WAIT A
MINUTE, MAN.
YOU KNOW, LIKE, I AM THE LEAD

MINUTE, MAN.
YOU KNOW, LIKE, I AM THE LEAD
SINGER, MAN, AND THE AUDIENCE IS

YOU KNOW, LIKE, I AM THE LEAD
SINGER, MAN, AND THE AUDIENCE IS
SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AT ME,

SINGER, MAN, AND THE AUDIENCE IS
SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AT ME,
MAN, BUT HOW'S ANYBODY GONNA PAY

SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AT ME,
MAN, BUT HOW'S ANYBODY GONNA PAY
ANY ATTENTION TO ONE GUY

MAN, BUT HOW'S ANYBODY GONNA PAY
ANY ATTENTION TO ONE GUY
SINGING, MAN, WHEN THESE GUYS

ANY ATTENTION TO ONE GUY
SINGING, MAN, WHEN THESE GUYS
ARE JIGGLING?

SINGING, MAN, WHEN THESE GUYS
ARE JIGGLING?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

ARE JIGGLING?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
BE PRACTICAL, CLEMONT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
BE PRACTICAL, CLEMONT.
CLEMONT?

BE PRACTICAL, CLEMONT.
CLEMONT?
THE JIGGLING IS PART OF THE

CLEMONT?
THE JIGGLING IS PART OF THE
ACT.

THE JIGGLING IS PART OF THE
ACT.
CLEARMONT, MAN.

ACT.
CLEARMONT, MAN.
CLEMONT, IT'S LIKE THE OLD

CLEARMONT, MAN.
CLEMONT, IT'S LIKE THE OLD
THREE-RING CIRCUS PHILOSOPHY...

CLEMONT, IT'S LIKE THE OLD
THREE-RING CIRCUS PHILOSOPHY...
IF THEY DON'T LIKE THE ELEPHANT

THREE-RING CIRCUS PHILOSOPHY...
IF THEY DON'T LIKE THE ELEPHANT
ON HIS HIND LEGS IN THE MAIN

IF THEY DON'T LIKE THE ELEPHANT
ON HIS HIND LEGS IN THE MAIN
RING, MAYBE THEY'LL GO FOR THE

ON HIS HIND LEGS IN THE MAIN
RING, MAYBE THEY'LL GO FOR THE
THREE LITTLE MONKEYS RIDING

RING, MAYBE THEY'LL GO FOR THE
THREE LITTLE MONKEYS RIDING
BICYCLES NEXT DOOR.

THREE LITTLE MONKEYS RIDING
BICYCLES NEXT DOOR.
MONKEYS, HUH?

BICYCLES NEXT DOOR.
MONKEYS, HUH?
HEY, WELL, LISTEN, LISTEN,

MONKEYS, HUH?
HEY, WELL, LISTEN, LISTEN,
MONKEYS, LISTEN, MONKEYS.

HEY, WELL, LISTEN, LISTEN,
MONKEYS, LISTEN, MONKEYS.
NOW, YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT,

MONKEYS, LISTEN, MONKEYS.
NOW, YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT,
MONKEYS, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT

NOW, YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT,
MONKEYS, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT
DANCING IN A LINE ON STAGE MAKES

MONKEYS, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT
DANCING IN A LINE ON STAGE MAKES
YOU LOOK LIKE, ESPECIALLY TO THE

DANCING IN A LINE ON STAGE MAKES
YOU LOOK LIKE, ESPECIALLY TO THE
FEMALE ELEMENT OF THE AUDIENCE.

YOU LOOK LIKE, ESPECIALLY TO THE
FEMALE ELEMENT OF THE AUDIENCE.
LIKE WHAT?

FEMALE ELEMENT OF THE AUDIENCE.
LIKE WHAT?
SWEET BOYS, THAT'S WHAT.

LIKE WHAT?
SWEET BOYS, THAT'S WHAT.
WH...

SWEET BOYS, THAT'S WHAT.
WH...
SWEET BOYS, CHOCOLATE ON THE

WH...
SWEET BOYS, CHOCOLATE ON THE
INSIDE, MARSHMALLOW ON THE

SWEET BOYS, CHOCOLATE ON THE
INSIDE, MARSHMALLOW ON THE
OUTSIDE, HA HA HA!

INSIDE, MARSHMALLOW ON THE
OUTSIDE, HA HA HA!
SWEET BOYS!

OUTSIDE, HA HA HA!
SWEET BOYS!
NOW, YOU DIG THIS, SUCKA!

SWEET BOYS!
NOW, YOU DIG THIS, SUCKA!
DON'T YOU CALL ME NO SWEET BOY!

NOW, YOU DIG THIS, SUCKA!
DON'T YOU CALL ME NO SWEET BOY!
I GOT FIVE GIRLS PREGNANT.

DON'T YOU CALL ME NO SWEET BOY!
I GOT FIVE GIRLS PREGNANT.
FEBRUARY 1st, FEBRUARY 10th,

I GOT FIVE GIRLS PREGNANT.
FEBRUARY 1st, FEBRUARY 10th,
FEBRUARY 11th, FEBRUARY 15th,

FEBRUARY 1st, FEBRUARY 10th,
FEBRUARY 11th, FEBRUARY 15th,
AND FEBRUARY 30th!

FEBRUARY 11th, FEBRUARY 15th,
AND FEBRUARY 30th!
FEBRUARY 30th, MAN?

AND FEBRUARY 30th!
FEBRUARY 30th, MAN?
WHAT YOU...

FEBRUARY 30th, MAN?
WHAT YOU...
DON'T YOU GO PENALIZING ME

WHAT YOU...
DON'T YOU GO PENALIZING ME
ON NO TRICK MONTH.

DON'T YOU GO PENALIZING ME
ON NO TRICK MONTH.
OH, I, FONTAINE PARKS, I HAVE

ON NO TRICK MONTH.
OH, I, FONTAINE PARKS, I HAVE
BEEN AROUND, YOU HEAR ME?

OH, I, FONTAINE PARKS, I HAVE
BEEN AROUND, YOU HEAR ME?
I AIN'T NO SWEET BOY.

BEEN AROUND, YOU HEAR ME?
I AIN'T NO SWEET BOY.
WHY, FOR SIX WHOLE MONTHS, I'VE

I AIN'T NO SWEET BOY.
WHY, FOR SIX WHOLE MONTHS, I'VE
BEEN TOTALLY SATISFYING A

WHY, FOR SIX WHOLE MONTHS, I'VE
BEEN TOTALLY SATISFYING A
DIVORCED EXOTIC DANCER.

BEEN TOTALLY SATISFYING A
DIVORCED EXOTIC DANCER.
I, TOO, EITHER.

DIVORCED EXOTIC DANCER.
I, TOO, EITHER.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN AROUND,

I, TOO, EITHER.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN AROUND,
TOO.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN AROUND,
TOO.
FOR THE LAST SIX WHOLE MONTHS,

TOO.
FOR THE LAST SIX WHOLE MONTHS,
I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO HIM TALK

FOR THE LAST SIX WHOLE MONTHS,
I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO HIM TALK
ABOUT SATISFYING HIS DIVORCED

I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO HIM TALK
ABOUT SATISFYING HIS DIVORCED
EXOTIC DANCER, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M

ABOUT SATISFYING HIS DIVORCED
EXOTIC DANCER, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
SAYING?

EXOTIC DANCER, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M
SAYING?
OKAY, WELL, IN THAT CASE,

SAYING?
OKAY, WELL, IN THAT CASE,
THERE'S NOTHING IN THE WHOLE

OKAY, WELL, IN THAT CASE,
THERE'S NOTHING IN THE WHOLE
WORLD THAT CAN MAKE ANY OF YOU

THERE'S NOTHING IN THE WHOLE
WORLD THAT CAN MAKE ANY OF YOU
LOOK LIKE SWEET BOYS, IS IT?

WORLD THAT CAN MAKE ANY OF YOU
LOOK LIKE SWEET BOYS, IS IT?
OH, NO.

LOOK LIKE SWEET BOYS, IS IT?
OH, NO.
HAVE THOSE SUNK IN

OH, NO.
HAVE THOSE SUNK IN
THROUGH YOUR BRAINS?

HAVE THOSE SUNK IN
THROUGH YOUR BRAINS?
LOOK, RIGHT NOW, YOU DOING FOUR

THROUGH YOUR BRAINS?
LOOK, RIGHT NOW, YOU DOING FOUR
SHOWS A NIGHT, PLUS SIX SHOWS A

LOOK, RIGHT NOW, YOU DOING FOUR
SHOWS A NIGHT, PLUS SIX SHOWS A
NIGHT ON WEEKENDS, AND SUNDAYS

SHOWS A NIGHT, PLUS SIX SHOWS A
NIGHT ON WEEKENDS, AND SUNDAYS
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS COME IN

NIGHT ON WEEKENDS, AND SUNDAYS
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS COME IN
AND CLEAN UP AROUND THE CLUB A

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS COME IN
AND CLEAN UP AROUND THE CLUB A
LITTLE BIT.

AND CLEAN UP AROUND THE CLUB A
LITTLE BIT.
AND FOR ALL THAT, I'M GIVING YOU

LITTLE BIT.
AND FOR ALL THAT, I'M GIVING YOU
$100 FOR THE GROUP TO SPLIT

AND FOR ALL THAT, I'M GIVING YOU
$100 FOR THE GROUP TO SPLIT
AMONG ALL OF YOU A WEEK, RIGHT?

$100 FOR THE GROUP TO SPLIT
AMONG ALL OF YOU A WEEK, RIGHT?
RIGHT, RIGHT.

AMONG ALL OF YOU A WEEK, RIGHT?
RIGHT, RIGHT.
OKAY, NOW IF YOU ADD THE HAND

RIGHT, RIGHT.
OKAY, NOW IF YOU ADD THE HAND
GESTURES, I'LL MAKE IT $150.

OKAY, NOW IF YOU ADD THE HAND
GESTURES, I'LL MAKE IT $150.
$150?

GESTURES, I'LL MAKE IT $150.
$150?
NOW, KEEPING THAT IN MIND,

$150?
NOW, KEEPING THAT IN MIND,
WHAT AM I GONNA SEE ON THAT

NOW, KEEPING THAT IN MIND,
WHAT AM I GONNA SEE ON THAT
STAGE TONIGHT?

WHAT AM I GONNA SEE ON THAT
STAGE TONIGHT?
ALL RIGHT.

STAGE TONIGHT?
ALL RIGHT.
♪ SO, FIDDLEY-FI, FEEDLEY-FUM ♪

ALL RIGHT.
♪ SO, FIDDLEY-FI, FEEDLEY-FUM ♪
♪ YOU MADE A PIMP OUT OF

♪ SO, FIDDLEY-FI, FEEDLEY-FUM ♪
♪ YOU MADE A PIMP OUT OF
WHAT WAS ONCE A BUM ♪

♪ YOU MADE A PIMP OUT OF
WHAT WAS ONCE A BUM ♪
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

WHAT WAS ONCE A BUM ♪
[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
♪ OOOH, AAAAH ♪

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
♪ OOOH, AAAAH ♪
♪ I WANT TO WITHDRAW

♪ OOOH, AAAAH ♪
♪ I WANT TO WITHDRAW
YOUR DEVOTION ♪

♪ I WANT TO WITHDRAW
YOUR DEVOTION ♪
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

YOUR DEVOTION ♪
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ DEPOSIT MY DEVOTION ♪

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ DEPOSIT MY DEVOTION ♪
♪ YOUR CREDIT LOOK GOOD ♪

♪ DEPOSIT MY DEVOTION ♪
♪ YOUR CREDIT LOOK GOOD ♪
♪ FEEL LIKE A RICH MAN WITH ONLY

♪ YOUR CREDIT LOOK GOOD ♪
♪ FEEL LIKE A RICH MAN WITH ONLY
YOU, BABY, TO THANK ♪

♪ FEEL LIKE A RICH MAN WITH ONLY
YOU, BABY, TO THANK ♪
♪ YES! ♪

YOU, BABY, TO THANK ♪
♪ YES! ♪
♪ I'M CRYING ALL THE WAY

♪ YES! ♪
♪ I'M CRYING ALL THE WAY
TO THE LOVE BANK, LOVE BANK ♪

♪ I'M CRYING ALL THE WAY
TO THE LOVE BANK, LOVE BANK ♪
♪ OW, OW, OW-OW-OW ♪

TO THE LOVE BANK, LOVE BANK ♪
♪ OW, OW, OW-OW-OW ♪
♪ LOVE BANK, LOVE BANK ♪

♪ OW, OW, OW-OW-OW ♪
♪ LOVE BANK, LOVE BANK ♪
♪ BABY, TO THE LOVE BANK, YEAH ♪

♪ LOVE BANK, LOVE BANK ♪
♪ BABY, TO THE LOVE BANK, YEAH ♪
♪ WHOO! ♪

♪ BABY, TO THE LOVE BANK, YEAH ♪
♪ WHOO! ♪
♪ BABY, TO THE LOVE BANK,

♪ WHOO! ♪
♪ BABY, TO THE LOVE BANK,
LOVE BANK ♪

♪ BABY, TO THE LOVE BANK,
LOVE BANK ♪
♪ WHOO! ♪

LOVE BANK ♪
♪ WHOO! ♪
♪ LOVE BANK! ♪

♪ WHOO! ♪
♪ LOVE BANK! ♪
WOW!

♪ LOVE BANK! ♪
WOW!
HEY!

WOW!
HEY!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HEY, KID.
WHAT?
WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE EATING?

WHAT?
WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE EATING?
SOUP.

WHAT'S THAT YOU'RE EATING?
SOUP.
YEAH, BUT WHAT KIND OF SOUP?

SOUP.
YEAH, BUT WHAT KIND OF SOUP?
VEGETABLE SOUP.

YEAH, BUT WHAT KIND OF SOUP?
VEGETABLE SOUP.
WHAT KIND OF VEGETABLE SOUP?

VEGETABLE SOUP.
WHAT KIND OF VEGETABLE SOUP?
AUNT JANE CREELEY'S VEGETABLE

WHAT KIND OF VEGETABLE SOUP?
AUNT JANE CREELEY'S VEGETABLE
SOUP.

AUNT JANE CREELEY'S VEGETABLE
SOUP.
[CHUCKLES]

SOUP.
[CHUCKLES]
OF COURSE IT IS, AND DO YOU KNOW

[CHUCKLES]
OF COURSE IT IS, AND DO YOU KNOW
WHAT GOES INTO

OF COURSE IT IS, AND DO YOU KNOW
WHAT GOES INTO
AUNT JANE CREELEY'S VEGETABLE

WHAT GOES INTO
AUNT JANE CREELEY'S VEGETABLE
SOUP?

AUNT JANE CREELEY'S VEGETABLE
SOUP?
VEGETABLES.

SOUP?
VEGETABLES.
THAT'S RIGHT, KID.

VEGETABLES.
THAT'S RIGHT, KID.
AUNT JANE'S HOMEGROWN

THAT'S RIGHT, KID.
AUNT JANE'S HOMEGROWN
VEGETABLES... TOMATOES, PEAS,

AUNT JANE'S HOMEGROWN
VEGETABLES... TOMATOES, PEAS,
CARROTS, GREEN BEANS, MUSHROOMS,

VEGETABLES... TOMATOES, PEAS,
CARROTS, GREEN BEANS, MUSHROOMS,
POTATOES, AND CORN.

CARROTS, GREEN BEANS, MUSHROOMS,
POTATOES, AND CORN.
THERE'S SEVEN IN ALL.

POTATOES, AND CORN.
THERE'S SEVEN IN ALL.
COUNT THEM.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.
YOU REALLY LIKE THAT SOUP,
DON'T YOU?

YOU REALLY LIKE THAT SOUP,
DON'T YOU?
UH-HUH.

DON'T YOU?
UH-HUH.
MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE

UH-HUH.
MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE
WIDE WORLD!

MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE
WIDE WORLD!
OKAY.

WIDE WORLD!
OKAY.
I'LL GIVE YOU A BRAND-NEW DOLL

OKAY.
I'LL GIVE YOU A BRAND-NEW DOLL
FOR THAT SOUP.

I'LL GIVE YOU A BRAND-NEW DOLL
FOR THAT SOUP.
NO.

FOR THAT SOUP.
NO.
ALL RIGHT.

NO.
ALL RIGHT.
HOW ABOUT A BRAND-NEW DOLL AND A

ALL RIGHT.
HOW ABOUT A BRAND-NEW DOLL AND A
BICYCLE?

HOW ABOUT A BRAND-NEW DOLL AND A
BICYCLE?
UNH-UNH.

BICYCLE?
UNH-UNH.
ALL RIGHT.

UNH-UNH.
ALL RIGHT.
HOW ABOUT A BRAND-NEW DOLL, A

ALL RIGHT.
HOW ABOUT A BRAND-NEW DOLL, A
BICYCLE, AND TICKETS TO THE

HOW ABOUT A BRAND-NEW DOLL, A
BICYCLE, AND TICKETS TO THE
CIRCUS?

BICYCLE, AND TICKETS TO THE
CIRCUS?
NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!

CIRCUS?
NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!
I'M EATING!

NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!
I'M EATING!
YOU REALLY LOVE THAT SOUP,

I'M EATING!
YOU REALLY LOVE THAT SOUP,
DON'T YOU?

YOU REALLY LOVE THAT SOUP,
DON'T YOU?
MM-HMM.

DON'T YOU?
MM-HMM.
YOU SEE THE LITTLE PIECES OF

MM-HMM.
YOU SEE THE LITTLE PIECES OF
CORN IN THERE?

YOU SEE THE LITTLE PIECES OF
CORN IN THERE?
YEAH?

CORN IN THERE?
YEAH?
WELL, TAKE THEM OUT AND STUFF

YEAH?
WELL, TAKE THEM OUT AND STUFF
THEM UP INTO YOUR NOSE.

WHY?
BECAUSE THE SOUP MAN SAYS SO.

IT HURTS!
[LAUGHS]
WELL, IN THAT CASE, YOU BETTER

[LAUGHS]
WELL, IN THAT CASE, YOU BETTER
TAKE SOME HOT SOUP AND POUR IT

WELL, IN THAT CASE, YOU BETTER
TAKE SOME HOT SOUP AND POUR IT
ALL OVER YOUR NOSE.

TAKE SOME HOT SOUP AND POUR IT
ALL OVER YOUR NOSE.
WHY?

ALL OVER YOUR NOSE.
WHY?
BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING

WHY?
BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING
BETTER FOR A STUFFY NOSE THAN

BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING
BETTER FOR A STUFFY NOSE THAN
NICE, HOT SOUP.

BETTER FOR A STUFFY NOSE THAN
NICE, HOT SOUP.
WHY?

NICE, HOT SOUP.
WHY?
BECAUSE THE SOUP MAN SAYS SO.

Announcer: CREELEY'S SOUP,
THE CHILD HANDLER.

[UPBEAT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]
Announcer: AND NOW IT'S TIME
FOR "BAD CINEMA," WITH YOUR

Announcer: AND NOW IT'S TIME
FOR "BAD CINEMA," WITH YOUR
HOST, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL.

FOR "BAD CINEMA," WITH YOUR
HOST, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL.
HELLO.

HOST, LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL.
HELLO.
I'M LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, AND

HELLO.
I'M LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, AND
WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO

I'M LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, AND
WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO
"BAD CINEMA."

WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO
"BAD CINEMA."
WE HAVE A TERRIBLE FILM FOR YOU

"BAD CINEMA."
WE HAVE A TERRIBLE FILM FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

WE HAVE A TERRIBLE FILM FOR YOU
TONIGHT.
BEFORE WE ACTUALLY ROLL THE

TONIGHT.
BEFORE WE ACTUALLY ROLL THE
FILM, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE OUR

BEFORE WE ACTUALLY ROLL THE
FILM, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE OUR
DISTINGUISHED PANEL.

FILM, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE OUR
DISTINGUISHED PANEL.
WE HAVE WITH US... WE'RE

DISTINGUISHED PANEL.
WE HAVE WITH US... WE'RE
DELIGHTED TO HAVE AUTHOR

WE HAVE WITH US... WE'RE
DELIGHTED TO HAVE AUTHOR
TRUMAN CAPOTE, WHO JOINS US

DELIGHTED TO HAVE AUTHOR
TRUMAN CAPOTE, WHO JOINS US
TONIGHT FRESH FROM HIS DEBUT AS

TRUMAN CAPOTE, WHO JOINS US
TONIGHT FRESH FROM HIS DEBUT AS
A BAD ACTOR.

TONIGHT FRESH FROM HIS DEBUT AS
A BAD ACTOR.
AND WITH US ALSO TONIGHT, JUST

A BAD ACTOR.
AND WITH US ALSO TONIGHT, JUST
JOINING US, HELLO, LINA.

AND WITH US ALSO TONIGHT, JUST
JOINING US, HELLO, LINA.
I AM SO SORRY.

JOINING US, HELLO, LINA.
I AM SO SORRY.
THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.

I AM SO SORRY.
THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU...

THAT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU...
DO YOU HAVE THE PROPER

DO YOU...
DO YOU HAVE THE PROPER
AMPLIFICATION, MICROPHONE?

DO YOU HAVE THE PROPER
AMPLIFICATION, MICROPHONE?
I THINK THERE'S A SMALL

AMPLIFICATION, MICROPHONE?
I THINK THERE'S A SMALL
MICROPHONE ON YOUR CHAIR.

I THINK THERE'S A SMALL
MICROPHONE ON YOUR CHAIR.
THANK YOU, IF YOU WOULD JUST

MICROPHONE ON YOUR CHAIR.
THANK YOU, IF YOU WOULD JUST
CLIP IT ON.

THANK YOU, IF YOU WOULD JUST
CLIP IT ON.
VERY GOOD.

CLIP IT ON.
VERY GOOD.
WITH US IS ITALIAN FILMMAKER

VERY GOOD.
WITH US IS ITALIAN FILMMAKER
LINA WERTMUELLER, WHO IF SHE IS

WITH US IS ITALIAN FILMMAKER
LINA WERTMUELLER, WHO IF SHE IS
GIVEN A FEW MORE YEARS AND

LINA WERTMUELLER, WHO IF SHE IS
GIVEN A FEW MORE YEARS AND
CONTINUED COMPLETE ARTISTIC

GIVEN A FEW MORE YEARS AND
CONTINUED COMPLETE ARTISTIC
CONTROL MAY WELL TURN OUT TO BE

CONTINUED COMPLETE ARTISTIC
CONTROL MAY WELL TURN OUT TO BE
ONE OF THE WORLD'S LEADING BAD

CONTROL MAY WELL TURN OUT TO BE
ONE OF THE WORLD'S LEADING BAD
FILMMAKERS.

ONE OF THE WORLD'S LEADING BAD
FILMMAKERS.
AND WE ALSO WELCOME

FILMMAKERS.
AND WE ALSO WELCOME
T. LAZLO de WIZZEN, CINEMA NOIR

AND WE ALSO WELCOME
T. LAZLO de WIZZEN, CINEMA NOIR
CRITIC FOR JET MAGAZINE.

T. LAZLO de WIZZEN, CINEMA NOIR
CRITIC FOR JET MAGAZINE.
HE ALSO HOLDS A CHAIR AT

CRITIC FOR JET MAGAZINE.
HE ALSO HOLDS A CHAIR AT
VISCOUNT COLLEGE, WHERE HE

HE ALSO HOLDS A CHAIR AT
VISCOUNT COLLEGE, WHERE HE
TEACHES A WORKSHOP IN BAD

VISCOUNT COLLEGE, WHERE HE
TEACHES A WORKSHOP IN BAD
LIGHTING.

TEACHES A WORKSHOP IN BAD
LIGHTING.
I FEEL CONFIDENT THAT TONIGHT'S

LIGHTING.
I FEEL CONFIDENT THAT TONIGHT'S
SELECTED BAD FILM REALLY BITES

I FEEL CONFIDENT THAT TONIGHT'S
SELECTED BAD FILM REALLY BITES
IT.

SELECTED BAD FILM REALLY BITES
IT.
IT'S ONE OF THE WORST WORKS OF

IT.
IT'S ONE OF THE WORST WORKS OF
HENRI HEIMEAU, ONE OF THE VERY

IT'S ONE OF THE WORST WORKS OF
HENRI HEIMEAU, ONE OF THE VERY
WORST OF THE NEW BREED OF BAD

HENRI HEIMEAU, ONE OF THE VERY
WORST OF THE NEW BREED OF BAD
FILMMAKERS TO COME OUT OF

WORST OF THE NEW BREED OF BAD
FILMMAKERS TO COME OUT OF
L'éCOLE DU CINéMA MAUVAIS.

FILMMAKERS TO COME OUT OF
L'éCOLE DU CINéMA MAUVAIS.
POORLY CONCEIVED, DREADFULLY

L'éCOLE DU CINéMA MAUVAIS.
POORLY CONCEIVED, DREADFULLY
EXECUTED, WE ARE PROUD TO

POORLY CONCEIVED, DREADFULLY
EXECUTED, WE ARE PROUD TO
PRESENT HENRI HEIMEAU'S

EXECUTED, WE ARE PROUD TO
PRESENT HENRI HEIMEAU'S
"OOH-LA-LA! LES LEGS!"

PRESENT HENRI HEIMEAU'S
"OOH-LA-LA! LES LEGS!"
LET'S ROLL THE FILM, SHALL WE?

"OOH-LA-LA! LES LEGS!"
LET'S ROLL THE FILM, SHALL WE?
[PROJECTOR WHIRRS]

LET'S ROLL THE FILM, SHALL WE?
[PROJECTOR WHIRRS]
[SINGING IN FRENCH]

[SINGING CONTINUES]

[SINGING CONTINUES]

[SINGING CONCLUDES]
HEY!
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

HEY!
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
[BLOWING RASPBERRIES]

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
[BLOWING RASPBERRIES]
TERRIBLE.

[BLOWING RASPBERRIES]
TERRIBLE.
THERE NOW, FELLOWS, THAT WASN'T

TERRIBLE.
THERE NOW, FELLOWS, THAT WASN'T
SO GOOD, WAS IT?

THERE NOW, FELLOWS, THAT WASN'T
SO GOOD, WAS IT?
TRUMAN?

SO GOOD, WAS IT?
TRUMAN?
WELL, THAT WAS DAZZLINGLY

TRUMAN?
WELL, THAT WAS DAZZLINGLY
TURGID.

WELL, THAT WAS DAZZLINGLY
TURGID.
A GEM, A GEM, A TREASURE.

TURGID.
A GEM, A GEM, A TREASURE.
TELL ME, LEONARD, WHERE ON EARTH

A GEM, A GEM, A TREASURE.
TELL ME, LEONARD, WHERE ON EARTH
DID YOU FIND IT?

TELL ME, LEONARD, WHERE ON EARTH
DID YOU FIND IT?
SOME OF THE WORST HEIMEAU I HAVE

DID YOU FIND IT?
SOME OF THE WORST HEIMEAU I HAVE
EVER SEEN.

SOME OF THE WORST HEIMEAU I HAVE
EVER SEEN.
"OOH-LA-LA! LES LEGS!" IS A

EVER SEEN.
"OOH-LA-LA! LES LEGS!" IS A
CLASSIC!

"OOH-LA-LA! LES LEGS!" IS A
CLASSIC!
IT'S EXQUISITELY BAD.

CLASSIC!
IT'S EXQUISITELY BAD.
IN HEIMEAU'S TWO-YEAR SEARCH FOR

IT'S EXQUISITELY BAD.
IN HEIMEAU'S TWO-YEAR SEARCH FOR
HIS SUZI, HE DREDGED UP A

IN HEIMEAU'S TWO-YEAR SEARCH FOR
HIS SUZI, HE DREDGED UP A
PERFECT LITTLE ACTRESS... SUZI.

HIS SUZI, HE DREDGED UP A
PERFECT LITTLE ACTRESS... SUZI.
SHE WAS THE PITS.

PERFECT LITTLE ACTRESS... SUZI.
SHE WAS THE PITS.
YES, YOU KNOW, I KNOW HEIMEAU

SHE WAS THE PITS.
YES, YOU KNOW, I KNOW HEIMEAU
VERY WELL, AND HIS MOST DOMINANT

YES, YOU KNOW, I KNOW HEIMEAU
VERY WELL, AND HIS MOST DOMINANT
THEME IN HIS WORK IS THE

VERY WELL, AND HIS MOST DOMINANT
THEME IN HIS WORK IS THE
TWISTING WOMAN MOTIF, AN IMAGE

THEME IN HIS WORK IS THE
TWISTING WOMAN MOTIF, AN IMAGE
WHICH NEVER FAILS TO NAUSEATE ME

TWISTING WOMAN MOTIF, AN IMAGE
WHICH NEVER FAILS TO NAUSEATE ME
THOROUGHLY.

WHICH NEVER FAILS TO NAUSEATE ME
THOROUGHLY.
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, I CAN TELL

THOROUGHLY.
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, I CAN TELL
YOU, HE CHOOSES A CREW THAT HE

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND, I CAN TELL
YOU, HE CHOOSES A CREW THAT HE
KNOWS WILL BE HOSTILE,

YOU, HE CHOOSES A CREW THAT HE
KNOWS WILL BE HOSTILE,
UNCOOPERATIVE, AND DISRESPECTFUL

KNOWS WILL BE HOSTILE,
UNCOOPERATIVE, AND DISRESPECTFUL
THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE

UNCOOPERATIVE, AND DISRESPECTFUL
THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE
PRODUCTION... AND THE COLORS!

THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE
PRODUCTION... AND THE COLORS!
HE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO ABUSE HIS

PRODUCTION... AND THE COLORS!
HE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO ABUSE HIS
PINKS.

HE REALLY KNOWS HOW TO ABUSE HIS
PINKS.
IT WAS NAUSEATING.

PINKS.
IT WAS NAUSEATING.
WELL, LEONARD, I DON'T KNOW

IT WAS NAUSEATING.
WELL, LEONARD, I DON'T KNOW
IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO

WELL, LEONARD, I DON'T KNOW
IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO
CONTRIBUTE, BECAUSE MY SPECIALTY

IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO
CONTRIBUTE, BECAUSE MY SPECIALTY
IN CINEMA CRITIQUE IS BAD 3-D

CONTRIBUTE, BECAUSE MY SPECIALTY
IN CINEMA CRITIQUE IS BAD 3-D
INSECT FEAR FILMS OF THE '60s,

IN CINEMA CRITIQUE IS BAD 3-D
INSECT FEAR FILMS OF THE '60s,
AND THIS WAS ONE OF THE WORST

INSECT FEAR FILMS OF THE '60s,
AND THIS WAS ONE OF THE WORST
3-D INSECT FEAR FILMS THAT I

AND THIS WAS ONE OF THE WORST
3-D INSECT FEAR FILMS THAT I
HAVE EVER SEEN.

3-D INSECT FEAR FILMS THAT I
HAVE EVER SEEN.
OH, LAZLO, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU

HAVE EVER SEEN.
OH, LAZLO, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
WERE INTO BAD 3-D INSECT FEAR

OH, LAZLO, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
WERE INTO BAD 3-D INSECT FEAR
FILMS.

WERE INTO BAD 3-D INSECT FEAR
FILMS.
QUELLE COINCIDENCE!

FILMS.
QUELLE COINCIDENCE!
WOW, I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE A

QUELLE COINCIDENCE!
WOW, I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE A
VAST COLLECTION OF BAD 3-D

WOW, I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE A
VAST COLLECTION OF BAD 3-D
INSECT FEAR FILMS.

VAST COLLECTION OF BAD 3-D
INSECT FEAR FILMS.
WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER FOR A

INSECT FEAR FILMS.
WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER FOR A
PRIVATE SCREENING SOME TIME?

WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER FOR A
PRIVATE SCREENING SOME TIME?
I'M SURE YOU GENTLEMAN CAN

PRIVATE SCREENING SOME TIME?
I'M SURE YOU GENTLEMAN CAN
WORK SOMETHING OUT.

I'M SURE YOU GENTLEMAN CAN
WORK SOMETHING OUT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, PANEL.

WORK SOMETHING OUT.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, PANEL.
I'M SORRY HENRI HEIMEAU COULD

THANK YOU SO MUCH, PANEL.
I'M SORRY HENRI HEIMEAU COULD
NOT BE WITH US TONIGHT TO VIEW

I'M SORRY HENRI HEIMEAU COULD
NOT BE WITH US TONIGHT TO VIEW
HIS FILM.

NOT BE WITH US TONIGHT TO VIEW
HIS FILM.
I'M PLEASED TO TELL YOU THAT HE

HIS FILM.
I'M PLEASED TO TELL YOU THAT HE
IS PRESENTLY EMPLOYED AS A CHEF

I'M PLEASED TO TELL YOU THAT HE
IS PRESENTLY EMPLOYED AS A CHEF
IN PARIS AND IS REPUTEDLY THE

IS PRESENTLY EMPLOYED AS A CHEF
IN PARIS AND IS REPUTEDLY THE
WORST COOK IN PARIS.

IN PARIS AND IS REPUTEDLY THE
WORST COOK IN PARIS.
NEXT WEEK ON "BAD CINEMA," JOIN

WORST COOK IN PARIS.
NEXT WEEK ON "BAD CINEMA," JOIN
ME FOR AN EVEN WORSE FILM...

NEXT WEEK ON "BAD CINEMA," JOIN
ME FOR AN EVEN WORSE FILM...
ORGIO CARREDA'S "LOVE ON A PIN."

ME FOR AN EVEN WORSE FILM...
ORGIO CARREDA'S "LOVE ON A PIN."
UNTIL THEN, THIS IS

ORGIO CARREDA'S "LOVE ON A PIN."
UNTIL THEN, THIS IS
LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, SAYING

UNTIL THEN, THIS IS
LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, SAYING
GOOD NIGHT.

LEONARD PINTH-GARNELL, SAYING
GOOD NIGHT.
[APPLAUSE]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FROM
ATLANTA, BRICK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ATLANTA, BRICK.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[BRICK'S "DAZZ" PLAYS]

♪ EVERYBODY GO ON
AND DANCE IF YOU WANT TO ♪

♪ IF MUSIC MAKES
YOUR BODY MOVE ♪
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ FUNKY DANCING, GET UP ♪
♪ GET DOWN, SHAKE YOUR BOOTY ♪

♪ IF MUSIC MAKES
YOUR BODY MOVE ♪
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ H-E-E-E-E-E-E-EY, HEY! ♪
♪ WHOO-HOO, HOO ♪
UNH!

♪ WHOO, OOH, HOO-OOH, HOO-HOO ♪
DANCE!
DISCO JAZZ!

WHOO!
OH!

♪ FUNKY DANCING, GET UP ♪
♪ GET DOWN, SHAKE YOUR BOOTY ♪
ALL RIGHT.

♪ GET DOWN, SHAKE YOUR BOOTY ♪
ALL RIGHT.
♪ IF MUSIC MAKES

ALL RIGHT.
♪ IF MUSIC MAKES
YOUR BODY MOVE ♪

♪ IF MUSIC MAKES
YOUR BODY MOVE ♪
♪ WELL, ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪

♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪

♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪

♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪

♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪

♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪

♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪

♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪

♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪

♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪

♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪

♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪

♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪

♪ DISCO JAZZ ♪
♪ JAZZ, DAZZ ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

MRS. FARBER, AS I TOLD YOU
OVER THE TELEPHONE, THE IDEA IS
THAT YOU WOULD INVITE SOME

OVER THE TELEPHONE, THE IDEA IS
THAT YOU WOULD INVITE SOME
FRIENDS OVER, SERVE SOME HORS

THAT YOU WOULD INVITE SOME
FRIENDS OVER, SERVE SOME HORS
D'OEUVRES AND SOME COCKTAILS,

FRIENDS OVER, SERVE SOME HORS
D'OEUVRES AND SOME COCKTAILS,
AND THEN I'D MAKE A SPEECH AND

D'OEUVRES AND SOME COCKTAILS,
AND THEN I'D MAKE A SPEECH AND
WE'D TRY TO SOLICIT SOME MONEY

AND THEN I'D MAKE A SPEECH AND
WE'D TRY TO SOLICIT SOME MONEY
FOR THE CIVIL-RIGHTS MOVEMENT.

WE'D TRY TO SOLICIT SOME MONEY
FOR THE CIVIL-RIGHTS MOVEMENT.
OH, WELL, I'M VERY INTERESTED

FOR THE CIVIL-RIGHTS MOVEMENT.
OH, WELL, I'M VERY INTERESTED
IN CIVIL RIGHTS.

OH, WELL, I'M VERY INTERESTED
IN CIVIL RIGHTS.
MY HUSBAND, LARRY, AND I

IN CIVIL RIGHTS.
MY HUSBAND, LARRY, AND I
CONSIDER OURSELVES A VERY

MY HUSBAND, LARRY, AND I
CONSIDER OURSELVES A VERY
PROGRESSIVE COUPLE.

CONSIDER OURSELVES A VERY
PROGRESSIVE COUPLE.
NOT SEXUALLY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT

PROGRESSIVE COUPLE.
NOT SEXUALLY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT
I MEAN.

NOT SEXUALLY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT
I MEAN.
WELL, YES, THAT'S WHY YOUR

I MEAN.
WELL, YES, THAT'S WHY YOUR
HOME WAS RECOMMENDED FOR THIS

WELL, YES, THAT'S WHY YOUR
HOME WAS RECOMMENDED FOR THIS
KIND OF MEETING.

HOME WAS RECOMMENDED FOR THIS
KIND OF MEETING.
WELL, IT'S FINE WITH ME, BUT

KIND OF MEETING.
WELL, IT'S FINE WITH ME, BUT
I'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO

WELL, IT'S FINE WITH ME, BUT
I'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO
LARRY.

I'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO
LARRY.
I CAN'T SAY WE'LL DO IT UNTIL I

LARRY.
I CAN'T SAY WE'LL DO IT UNTIL I
DEFINITELY HAVE HIS OKAY.

I CAN'T SAY WE'LL DO IT UNTIL I
DEFINITELY HAVE HIS OKAY.
SURE, I UNDERSTAND.

DEFINITELY HAVE HIS OKAY.
SURE, I UNDERSTAND.
I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY HE'S

SURE, I UNDERSTAND.
I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY HE'S
SO LATE.

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY HE'S
SO LATE.
I MEAN, TONIGHT WE HAVE OUR

SO LATE.
I MEAN, TONIGHT WE HAVE OUR
BACKGAMMON CLUB, AND HE'S

I MEAN, TONIGHT WE HAVE OUR
BACKGAMMON CLUB, AND HE'S
USUALLY HOME EARLY, YOU KNOW, TO

BACKGAMMON CLUB, AND HE'S
USUALLY HOME EARLY, YOU KNOW, TO
SET UP THE BAR.

USUALLY HOME EARLY, YOU KNOW, TO
SET UP THE BAR.
HE'S A SEMI-PROFESSIONAL

SET UP THE BAR.
HE'S A SEMI-PROFESSIONAL
BARTENDER.

HE'S A SEMI-PROFESSIONAL
BARTENDER.
HI, HONEY, I'M HO... OHHHH.

BARTENDER.
HI, HONEY, I'M HO... OHHHH.
OH, LARRY, LARRY, IT'S NOT

HI, HONEY, I'M HO... OHHHH.
OH, LARRY, LARRY, IT'S NOT
WHAT YOU THINK.

OH, LARRY, LARRY, IT'S NOT
WHAT YOU THINK.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.

WHAT YOU THINK.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
THIS IS JULIAN BOND, SENATOR

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
THIS IS JULIAN BOND, SENATOR
FROM GEORGIA.

THIS IS JULIAN BOND, SENATOR
FROM GEORGIA.
REMEMBER ABOUT THE FUND-RAISING

FROM GEORGIA.
REMEMBER ABOUT THE FUND-RAISING
PARTY FOR NEXT THURSDAY NIGHT?

REMEMBER ABOUT THE FUND-RAISING
PARTY FOR NEXT THURSDAY NIGHT?
OH!

PARTY FOR NEXT THURSDAY NIGHT?
OH!
IF YOU SAY IT'S OKAY.

OH!
IF YOU SAY IT'S OKAY.
THEY PICKED US BECAUSE WE WERE

IF YOU SAY IT'S OKAY.
THEY PICKED US BECAUSE WE WERE
SUCH A PROGRESSIVE COUPLE.

THEY PICKED US BECAUSE WE WERE
SUCH A PROGRESSIVE COUPLE.
NOT SEXUALLY, THOUGH.

SUCH A PROGRESSIVE COUPLE.
NOT SEXUALLY, THOUGH.
RIGHT, I EXPLAINED THAT.

NOT SEXUALLY, THOUGH.
RIGHT, I EXPLAINED THAT.
OH, WELL, SO, YOU'RE

RIGHT, I EXPLAINED THAT.
OH, WELL, SO, YOU'RE
JULIAN BOND.

OH, WELL, SO, YOU'RE
JULIAN BOND.
THAT'S RIGHT.

JULIAN BOND.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, ANY RELATION TO

THAT'S RIGHT.
WELL, ANY RELATION TO
WARD BOND?

WELL, ANY RELATION TO
WARD BOND?
EXCUSE ME?

WARD BOND?
EXCUSE ME?
JAMES BOND?

EXCUSE ME?
JAMES BOND?
NO.

JAMES BOND?
NO.
HOW ABOUT GARY "U.S." BONDS?

NO.
HOW ABOUT GARY "U.S." BONDS?
[LAUGHS]

HOW ABOUT GARY "U.S." BONDS?
[LAUGHS]
OH, LARRY, YOU'RE SUCH A

[LAUGHS]
OH, LARRY, YOU'RE SUCH A
CHARACTER.

OH, LARRY, YOU'RE SUCH A
CHARACTER.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT.

CHARACTER.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT.
UH, MR. BOND, WHY DON'T WE SIT

YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT.
UH, MR. BOND, WHY DON'T WE SIT
DOWN AGAIN, AND LARRY, SIT DOWN,

UH, MR. BOND, WHY DON'T WE SIT
DOWN AGAIN, AND LARRY, SIT DOWN,
AND, MR. BOND, WHY DON'T YOU

DOWN AGAIN, AND LARRY, SIT DOWN,
AND, MR. BOND, WHY DON'T YOU
EXPLAIN A LITTLE BETTER ABOUT

AND, MR. BOND, WHY DON'T YOU
EXPLAIN A LITTLE BETTER ABOUT
THE FUND-RAISING PARTY WE'RE

EXPLAIN A LITTLE BETTER ABOUT
THE FUND-RAISING PARTY WE'RE
GOING TO HAVE NEXT THURSDAY

THE FUND-RAISING PARTY WE'RE
GOING TO HAVE NEXT THURSDAY
NIGHT?

GOING TO HAVE NEXT THURSDAY
NIGHT?
WELL, LARRY...

NIGHT?
WELL, LARRY...
AH, JUST CALL ME FARB.

WELL, LARRY...
AH, JUST CALL ME FARB.
WELL, FARB, THERE'S STILL A

AH, JUST CALL ME FARB.
WELL, FARB, THERE'S STILL A
VERY SERIOUS RACIAL PROBLEM IN

WELL, FARB, THERE'S STILL A
VERY SERIOUS RACIAL PROBLEM IN
THE UNITED STATES.

VERY SERIOUS RACIAL PROBLEM IN
THE UNITED STATES.
STILL? I THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL

THE UNITED STATES.
STILL? I THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL
OVER WITH IN THE '60s.

STILL? I THOUGHT THAT WAS ALL
OVER WITH IN THE '60s.
LARRY, LARRY.

OVER WITH IN THE '60s.
LARRY, LARRY.
WELL, IT'S A PROBLEM AMONG

LARRY, LARRY.
WELL, IT'S A PROBLEM AMONG
YOUNG BLACK MEN.

WELL, IT'S A PROBLEM AMONG
YOUNG BLACK MEN.
THEY'RE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS AS

YOUNG BLACK MEN.
THEY'RE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS AS
HIGH AS 40% IN THE SOUTH.

THEY'RE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE IS AS
HIGH AS 40% IN THE SOUTH.
WELL, THEY'RE NOT GONNA COME

HIGH AS 40% IN THE SOUTH.
WELL, THEY'RE NOT GONNA COME
UP HERE, ARE THEY?

WELL, THEY'RE NOT GONNA COME
UP HERE, ARE THEY?
LARRY.

UP HERE, ARE THEY?
LARRY.
WELL...

LARRY.
WELL...
LARRY.

WELL...
LARRY.
IT'S NOT JUST IN THE SOUTH.

LARRY.
IT'S NOT JUST IN THE SOUTH.
IT'S REALLY KIND OF A NATIONAL

IT'S NOT JUST IN THE SOUTH.
IT'S REALLY KIND OF A NATIONAL
PROBLEM, A PROBLEM WITH

IT'S REALLY KIND OF A NATIONAL
PROBLEM, A PROBLEM WITH
EDUCATION.

PROBLEM, A PROBLEM WITH
EDUCATION.
WELL, WHY DON'T THEY GO TO

EDUCATION.
WELL, WHY DON'T THEY GO TO
SCHOOL?

WELL, WHY DON'T THEY GO TO
SCHOOL?
LARRY.

SCHOOL?
LARRY.
WELL, A GREAT MANY OF THEM

LARRY.
WELL, A GREAT MANY OF THEM
DON'T HAVE THE FUNDS TO GO TO

WELL, A GREAT MANY OF THEM
DON'T HAVE THE FUNDS TO GO TO
COLLEGE, AND SOME OF THEM ARE

DON'T HAVE THE FUNDS TO GO TO
COLLEGE, AND SOME OF THEM ARE
PUSHED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL AT A

COLLEGE, AND SOME OF THEM ARE
PUSHED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL AT A
VERY EARLY AGE.

PUSHED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL AT A
VERY EARLY AGE.
WHAT ABOUT SPORTS?

VERY EARLY AGE.
WHAT ABOUT SPORTS?
LARRY.

WHAT ABOUT SPORTS?
LARRY.
WELL, LOOK AT GALE SAYERS...

LARRY.
WELL, LOOK AT GALE SAYERS...
I MEAN, THE GREATEST RUNNING

WELL, LOOK AT GALE SAYERS...
I MEAN, THE GREATEST RUNNING
BACK WHO EVER LIVED.

I MEAN, THE GREATEST RUNNING
BACK WHO EVER LIVED.
THE GALE FROM KANSAS... HE WENT

BACK WHO EVER LIVED.
THE GALE FROM KANSAS... HE WENT
TO KANSAS ON A FOOTBALL

THE GALE FROM KANSAS... HE WENT
TO KANSAS ON A FOOTBALL
SCHOLARSHIP, YOU KNOW?

TO KANSAS ON A FOOTBALL
SCHOLARSHIP, YOU KNOW?
SOME OF THE PEOPLE WE'RE

SCHOLARSHIP, YOU KNOW?
SOME OF THE PEOPLE WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT JUST DON'T HAVE

SOME OF THE PEOPLE WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT JUST DON'T HAVE
THAT KIND OF TALENT.

TALKING ABOUT JUST DON'T HAVE
THAT KIND OF TALENT.
HOW ABOUT BASKETBALL?

THAT KIND OF TALENT.
HOW ABOUT BASKETBALL?
LARRY!

HOW ABOUT BASKETBALL?
LARRY!
MR. BOND, CAN I GET YOU ANOTHER

LARRY!
MR. BOND, CAN I GET YOU ANOTHER
SOFT DRINK?

MR. BOND, CAN I GET YOU ANOTHER
SOFT DRINK?
OH, SURE.

SOFT DRINK?
OH, SURE.
ALL RIGHT.

OH, SURE.
ALL RIGHT.
YOU SEE, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

ALL RIGHT.
YOU SEE, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
THE EXCEPTIONAL GUY.

YOU SEE, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
THE EXCEPTIONAL GUY.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE AVERAGE

THE EXCEPTIONAL GUY.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE AVERAGE
BLACK MAN.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE AVERAGE
BLACK MAN.
HMM.

BLACK MAN.
HMM.
DO YOU KNOW SAMMY DAVIS JR.?

HMM.
DO YOU KNOW SAMMY DAVIS JR.?
OH, YEAH, I'VE MET HIM.

DO YOU KNOW SAMMY DAVIS JR.?
OH, YEAH, I'VE MET HIM.
OH, REALLY?

OH, YEAH, I'VE MET HIM.
OH, REALLY?
OH, GOD, HE IS TALENTED.

OH, REALLY?
OH, GOD, HE IS TALENTED.
HE AND LIZA MINNELLI CAN REALLY

OH, GOD, HE IS TALENTED.
HE AND LIZA MINNELLI CAN REALLY
BELT OUT A SONG, YOU KNOW?

HE AND LIZA MINNELLI CAN REALLY
BELT OUT A SONG, YOU KNOW?
AND SHE'S WHITE, AND HE'S BLACK.

BELT OUT A SONG, YOU KNOW?
AND SHE'S WHITE, AND HE'S BLACK.
YOU KNOW WHO I LOVE?

AND SHE'S WHITE, AND HE'S BLACK.
YOU KNOW WHO I LOVE?
SIDNEY POITIER.

YOU KNOW WHO I LOVE?
SIDNEY POITIER.
YEAH, I KNOW HIM, TOO.

SIDNEY POITIER.
YEAH, I KNOW HIM, TOO.
RIGHT.

YEAH, I KNOW HIM, TOO.
RIGHT.
COULD YOU PUT THAT ON THE

RIGHT.
COULD YOU PUT THAT ON THE
COASTER, PLEASE?

COULD YOU PUT THAT ON THE
COASTER, PLEASE?
THANK YOU.

COASTER, PLEASE?
THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW HIM?

THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW HIM?
MM-HMM.

YOU KNOW HIM?
MM-HMM.
GOD, HE IS TALENTED.

MM-HMM.
GOD, HE IS TALENTED.
HE'S NOT A NEGRO, THOUGH.

GOD, HE IS TALENTED.
HE'S NOT A NEGRO, THOUGH.
HE'S FROM JAMAICA OR SOME PLACE

HE'S NOT A NEGRO, THOUGH.
HE'S FROM JAMAICA OR SOME PLACE
LIKE THAT, ISN'T HE?

HE'S FROM JAMAICA OR SOME PLACE
LIKE THAT, ISN'T HE?
THAT'S RIGHT.

LIKE THAT, ISN'T HE?
THAT'S RIGHT.
UH-HUH.

THAT'S RIGHT.
UH-HUH.
HEY, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT

UH-HUH.
HEY, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT
GUY, COKELY CARMICHAEL?

HEY, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT
GUY, COKELY CARMICHAEL?
STOKELY CARMICHAEL.

GUY, COKELY CARMICHAEL?
STOKELY CARMICHAEL.
STOKELY CARMICHAEL, YEAH.

STOKELY CARMICHAEL.
STOKELY CARMICHAEL, YEAH.
YOU NEVER SEE HIM ANYMORE.

STOKELY CARMICHAEL, YEAH.
YOU NEVER SEE HIM ANYMORE.
WELL, HE LIVES IN AFRICA AND

YOU NEVER SEE HIM ANYMORE.
WELL, HE LIVES IN AFRICA AND
IN WASHINGTON.

WELL, HE LIVES IN AFRICA AND
IN WASHINGTON.
THAT'S QUITE A COMMUTE.

IN WASHINGTON.
THAT'S QUITE A COMMUTE.
WELL, HE'S MARRIED TO AN

THAT'S QUITE A COMMUTE.
WELL, HE'S MARRIED TO AN
AFRICAN WOMAN.

WELL, HE'S MARRIED TO AN
AFRICAN WOMAN.
OH, LIKE PETER FINCH!

AFRICAN WOMAN.
OH, LIKE PETER FINCH!
RIGHT, WE SAW THAT ON THE

OH, LIKE PETER FINCH!
RIGHT, WE SAW THAT ON THE
OSCARS.

RIGHT, WE SAW THAT ON THE
OSCARS.
IT WAS VERY INTERESTING.

OSCARS.
IT WAS VERY INTERESTING.
ACTUALLY, I THINK SHE'S FROM

IT WAS VERY INTERESTING.
ACTUALLY, I THINK SHE'S FROM
THE ISLANDS...

ACTUALLY, I THINK SHE'S FROM
THE ISLANDS...
YOU DON'T WANT ANY OF THESE

THE ISLANDS...
YOU DON'T WANT ANY OF THESE
HORS D'OEUVRES, DO YOU?

YOU DON'T WANT ANY OF THESE
HORS D'OEUVRES, DO YOU?
NO.

HORS D'OEUVRES, DO YOU?
NO.
OH, ALL RIGHT.

NO.
OH, ALL RIGHT.
PETER FINCH'S WIFE, I THINK,

OH, ALL RIGHT.
PETER FINCH'S WIFE, I THINK,
IS FROM THE ISLANDS.

PETER FINCH'S WIFE, I THINK,
IS FROM THE ISLANDS.
DOES SHE KNOW SIDNEY POITIER?

IS FROM THE ISLANDS.
DOES SHE KNOW SIDNEY POITIER?
PROBABLY.

DOES SHE KNOW SIDNEY POITIER?
PROBABLY.
IT'S A SMALL ISLAND.

PROBABLY.
IT'S A SMALL ISLAND.
YEAH.

IT'S A SMALL ISLAND.
YEAH.
WELL, YOU KNOW, WE GOT A BLACK

YEAH.
WELL, YOU KNOW, WE GOT A BLACK
FAMILY LIVING RIGHT HERE.

WELL, YOU KNOW, WE GOT A BLACK
FAMILY LIVING RIGHT HERE.
WHAT'S HIS NAME, HONEY?

FAMILY LIVING RIGHT HERE.
WHAT'S HIS NAME, HONEY?
RIGHT, JERRY WASHINGTON.

WHAT'S HIS NAME, HONEY?
RIGHT, JERRY WASHINGTON.
YEAH, JERRY WASHINGTON, LIKE

RIGHT, JERRY WASHINGTON.
YEAH, JERRY WASHINGTON, LIKE
GEORGE.

YEAH, JERRY WASHINGTON, LIKE
GEORGE.
HE LIVES RIGHT DOWN THE STREET.

GEORGE.
HE LIVES RIGHT DOWN THE STREET.
GOT A BEAUTIFUL LAWN.

HE LIVES RIGHT DOWN THE STREET.
GOT A BEAUTIFUL LAWN.
GOOD-LOOKING GUY, YOU KNOW.

GOT A BEAUTIFUL LAWN.
GOOD-LOOKING GUY, YOU KNOW.
VERY ATTRACTIVE WIFE.

GOOD-LOOKING GUY, YOU KNOW.
VERY ATTRACTIVE WIFE.
RIGHT, AND THREE VERY

VERY ATTRACTIVE WIFE.
RIGHT, AND THREE VERY
ATTRACTIVE NEGRO CHILDREN.

RIGHT, AND THREE VERY
ATTRACTIVE NEGRO CHILDREN.
YEAH.

ATTRACTIVE NEGRO CHILDREN.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY FIRST MOVED

YEAH.
YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY FIRST MOVED
HERE, WE WERE PRETTY NERVOUS.

YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY FIRST MOVED
HERE, WE WERE PRETTY NERVOUS.
RIGHT, MAINLY BECAUSE OF THE

HERE, WE WERE PRETTY NERVOUS.
RIGHT, MAINLY BECAUSE OF THE
LAWN.

RIGHT, MAINLY BECAUSE OF THE
LAWN.
WELL, YOU DEFINITELY OUGHT TO

LAWN.
WELL, YOU DEFINITELY OUGHT TO
INVITE THEM.

WELL, YOU DEFINITELY OUGHT TO
INVITE THEM.
WELL, WE NEVER REALLY MET

INVITE THEM.
WELL, WE NEVER REALLY MET
THEM.

WELL, WE NEVER REALLY MET
THEM.
HOW LONG HAVE THEY LIVED

THEM.
HOW LONG HAVE THEY LIVED
HERE?

HOW LONG HAVE THEY LIVED
HERE?
FIVE OR SIX YEARS.

HERE?
FIVE OR SIX YEARS.
I DON'T KNOW.

FIVE OR SIX YEARS.
I DON'T KNOW.
[DOORBELL RINGS]

I DON'T KNOW.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
OH, THERE THEY ARE!

[DOORBELL RINGS]
OH, THERE THEY ARE!
THE BACKGAMMON CLUB!

OH, THERE THEY ARE!
THE BACKGAMMON CLUB!
EXCUSE ME.

THE BACKGAMMON CLUB!
EXCUSE ME.
THE HORDES ARE COMING.

EXCUSE ME.
THE HORDES ARE COMING.
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

THE HORDES ARE COMING.
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
I WANT YOU TO MEET JULIAN.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
I WANT YOU TO MEET JULIAN.
HOW ARE YOU, BOBBY?

I WANT YOU TO MEET JULIAN.
HOW ARE YOU, BOBBY?
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

HOW ARE YOU, BOBBY?
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
EVERYBODY, HOW ARE YOU?

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
EVERYBODY, HOW ARE YOU?
HOW YOU DOING?

EVERYBODY, HOW ARE YOU?
HOW YOU DOING?
THIS IS KARL, KARL SWERINGEN,

HOW YOU DOING?
THIS IS KARL, KARL SWERINGEN,
RIGHT HERE.

THIS IS KARL, KARL SWERINGEN,
RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS HARRIET.

RIGHT HERE.
THIS IS HARRIET.
KARL, HOW ARE YOU?

THIS IS HARRIET.
KARL, HOW ARE YOU?
KARL, I WANT YOU TO MEET JULIAN.

KARL, HOW ARE YOU?
KARL, I WANT YOU TO MEET JULIAN.
SIT DOWN, EVERYBODY.

KARL, I WANT YOU TO MEET JULIAN.
SIT DOWN, EVERYBODY.
SIT DOWN.

SIT DOWN, EVERYBODY.
SIT DOWN.
SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.

SIT DOWN.
SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.
CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.
CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?
CAN I TALK TO YOU?

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?
CAN I TALK TO YOU?
WHAT?

CAN I TALK TO YOU?
WHAT?
RIGHT.

WHAT?
RIGHT.
LARRY!

RIGHT.
LARRY!
OKAY, OKAY.

LARRY!
OKAY, OKAY.
HEY, HAROLD, COME ON.

OKAY, OKAY.
HEY, HAROLD, COME ON.
HEY, EVERYBODY, PIPE DOWN NOW.

HEY, HAROLD, COME ON.
HEY, EVERYBODY, PIPE DOWN NOW.
I'VE GOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT.

HEY, EVERYBODY, PIPE DOWN NOW.
I'VE GOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
BEFORE WE GET DOWN TO

I'VE GOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
BEFORE WE GET DOWN TO
BACKGAMMON...

BEFORE WE GET DOWN TO
BACKGAMMON...
PIPE DOWN, PIPE DOWN.

BACKGAMMON...
PIPE DOWN, PIPE DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, BEFORE WE GET DOWN TO

PIPE DOWN, PIPE DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, BEFORE WE GET DOWN TO
BACKGAMMON, I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE

ALL RIGHT, BEFORE WE GET DOWN TO
BACKGAMMON, I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE
THAT WE'LL BE HAVING A

BACKGAMMON, I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE
THAT WE'LL BE HAVING A
FUNDRAISING PARTY.

THAT WE'LL BE HAVING A
FUNDRAISING PARTY.
PARTY TIME!

FUNDRAISING PARTY.
PARTY TIME!
FOR CIVIL RIGHTS, NEXT

PARTY TIME!
FOR CIVIL RIGHTS, NEXT
THURSDAY.

FOR CIVIL RIGHTS, NEXT
THURSDAY.
JULIAN HERE IS GONNA GIVE A

THURSDAY.
JULIAN HERE IS GONNA GIVE A
SPEECH THEN.

JULIAN HERE IS GONNA GIVE A
SPEECH THEN.
YOU'RE ALL INVITED.

SPEECH THEN.
YOU'RE ALL INVITED.
AND I THINK YOU'RE REALLY GONNA

YOU'RE ALL INVITED.
AND I THINK YOU'RE REALLY GONNA
LIKE IT.

AND I THINK YOU'RE REALLY GONNA
LIKE IT.
NOW, BEFORE WE GET STARTED, I

LIKE IT.
NOW, BEFORE WE GET STARTED, I
WANT TO SAY SOMETHING.

NOW, BEFORE WE GET STARTED, I
WANT TO SAY SOMETHING.
IT'S YOUR OWN HOUSE.

WANT TO SAY SOMETHING.
IT'S YOUR OWN HOUSE.
WE CAN'T THROW YOU OUT.

IT'S YOUR OWN HOUSE.
WE CAN'T THROW YOU OUT.
THAT'S RIGHT.

WE CAN'T THROW YOU OUT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S FUNNY.

THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S FUNNY.
GO AHEAD, LARRY.

THAT'S FUNNY.
GO AHEAD, LARRY.
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS

GO AHEAD, LARRY.
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS
FOR A LONG TIME, AND, WELL...

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS
FOR A LONG TIME, AND, WELL...
WE SEE NOTHING BUT THE SAME

FOR A LONG TIME, AND, WELL...
WE SEE NOTHING BUT THE SAME
FACES IN BACKGAMMON EVERY WEEK.

WE SEE NOTHING BUT THE SAME
FACES IN BACKGAMMON EVERY WEEK.
WE NEED SOME NEW BLOOD.

FACES IN BACKGAMMON EVERY WEEK.
WE NEED SOME NEW BLOOD.
I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE THAT WE ADD

WE NEED SOME NEW BLOOD.
I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE THAT WE ADD
TWO NEW MEMBERS TO THE CLUB...

I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE THAT WE ADD
TWO NEW MEMBERS TO THE CLUB...
MR. AND MRS. JERRY WASHINGTON,

TWO NEW MEMBERS TO THE CLUB...
MR. AND MRS. JERRY WASHINGTON,
YOU KNOW, THE NEGROES DOWN THE

MR. AND MRS. JERRY WASHINGTON,
YOU KNOW, THE NEGROES DOWN THE
STREET.

YOU KNOW, THE NEGROES DOWN THE
STREET.
OH, WITH THE LAWN.

STREET.
OH, WITH THE LAWN.
RIGHT.

OH, WITH THE LAWN.
RIGHT.
MY SPEAKING VOICE...

RIGHT.
MY SPEAKING VOICE...
WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

MY SPEAKING VOICE...
WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
LET'S PUT IT TO A VOTE, OKAY?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
LET'S PUT IT TO A VOTE, OKAY?
ALL IN FAVOR OF ADDING THE

LET'S PUT IT TO A VOTE, OKAY?
ALL IN FAVOR OF ADDING THE
WASHINGTONS TO THE CLUB, RAISE

ALL IN FAVOR OF ADDING THE
WASHINGTONS TO THE CLUB, RAISE
YOUR HANDS.

WASHINGTONS TO THE CLUB, RAISE
YOUR HANDS.
ALL OPPOSED.

YOUR HANDS.
ALL OPPOSED.
WELL...

ALL OPPOSED.
WELL...
THAT'S DEMOCRACY IN ACTION.

WELL...
THAT'S DEMOCRACY IN ACTION.
ANYWAY, DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE

THAT'S DEMOCRACY IN ACTION.
ANYWAY, DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE
FUNDRAISER, OKAY, RIGHT HERE,

ANYWAY, DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE
FUNDRAISER, OKAY, RIGHT HERE,
NEXT THURSDAY.

FUNDRAISER, OKAY, RIGHT HERE,
NEXT THURSDAY.
WE HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL HERE.

NEXT THURSDAY.
WE HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL HERE.
AND, HEY, JULIAN, WHY DON'T YOU

WE HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL HERE.
AND, HEY, JULIAN, WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE US A LITTLE PREVIEW OF THE

AND, HEY, JULIAN, WHY DON'T YOU
GIVE US A LITTLE PREVIEW OF THE
SPEECH YOU'RE GONNA BE GIVING AT

GIVE US A LITTLE PREVIEW OF THE
SPEECH YOU'RE GONNA BE GIVING AT
THE PARTY.

SPEECH YOU'RE GONNA BE GIVING AT
THE PARTY.
YEAH, GIVE US A LITTLE SPEECH.

THE PARTY.
YEAH, GIVE US A LITTLE SPEECH.
HOLD ON.

YEAH, GIVE US A LITTLE SPEECH.
HOLD ON.
WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT

HOLD ON.
WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT
HERE IS A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM.

WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT
HERE IS A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM.
IT'S REALLY THE PROBLEM OF THE

HERE IS A VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM.
IT'S REALLY THE PROBLEM OF THE
20th CENTURY, AND THAT'S THE

IT'S REALLY THE PROBLEM OF THE
20th CENTURY, AND THAT'S THE
PROBLEM OF INHUMANITY, OF MAN'S

20th CENTURY, AND THAT'S THE
PROBLEM OF INHUMANITY, OF MAN'S
INHUMANITY TO MAN.

PROBLEM OF INHUMANITY, OF MAN'S
INHUMANITY TO MAN.
IT'S A CLASSIC PROBLEM WHICH HAS

INHUMANITY TO MAN.
IT'S A CLASSIC PROBLEM WHICH HAS
ITS ROOTS AS FAR AWAY AS SLAVERY

IT'S A CLASSIC PROBLEM WHICH HAS
ITS ROOTS AS FAR AWAY AS SLAVERY
IN THE 17th AND EVEN THE 16th

ITS ROOTS AS FAR AWAY AS SLAVERY
IN THE 17th AND EVEN THE 16th
CENTURIES.

IN THE 17th AND EVEN THE 16th
CENTURIES.
LARRY, CAN I FIX MYSELF A

CENTURIES.
LARRY, CAN I FIX MYSELF A
DRINK?

LARRY, CAN I FIX MYSELF A
DRINK?
HEY, I'M THE BARTENDER AROUND

DRINK?
HEY, I'M THE BARTENDER AROUND
HERE.

HEY, I'M THE BARTENDER AROUND
HERE.
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

Announcer: "MR. MIKE'S LEAST
LOVED BEDTIME TALES" WILL NOT BE
SEEN TONIGHT SO THAT NBC MAY

LOVED BEDTIME TALES" WILL NOT BE
SEEN TONIGHT SO THAT NBC MAY
PRESENT THE FOLLOWING SPECIAL

SEEN TONIGHT SO THAT NBC MAY
PRESENT THE FOLLOWING SPECIAL
PROGRAM.

♪ OH, SWING LOW, SWEET

CHARIOT ♪

♪ COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME ♪

♪ OH, SWING LOW, SWEET CHARIOT ♪

[TIRES SQUEALING]

♪ COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME ♪

DRIVER, I'LL JUST BE A
MINUTE.
HEY, UNCLE REMUS, HOW ARE YOU?

MINUTE.
HEY, UNCLE REMUS, HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

HEY, UNCLE REMUS, HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
I'M MIGHTY GLAD TO MAKE YOUR

GOOD TO SEE YOU.
I'M MIGHTY GLAD TO MAKE YOUR
ACQUAINTANCE, MR. MIKE.

I'M MIGHTY GLAD TO MAKE YOUR
ACQUAINTANCE, MR. MIKE.
Y'ALL COME ON IN, MAKE YOURSELF

ACQUAINTANCE, MR. MIKE.
Y'ALL COME ON IN, MAKE YOURSELF
AT HOME.

Y'ALL COME ON IN, MAKE YOURSELF
AT HOME.
HERE? NOT LIKELY.

AT HOME.
HERE? NOT LIKELY.
LISTEN, I STOPPED BY TO TELL YOU

HERE? NOT LIKELY.
LISTEN, I STOPPED BY TO TELL YOU
ONCE OF MY LEAST-LOVED BEDTIME

LISTEN, I STOPPED BY TO TELL YOU
ONCE OF MY LEAST-LOVED BEDTIME
TALES.

ONCE OF MY LEAST-LOVED BEDTIME
TALES.
IT'S ABOUT YOUR OLD BUDDY,

TALES.
IT'S ABOUT YOUR OLD BUDDY,
BRER RABBIT.

IT'S ABOUT YOUR OLD BUDDY,
BRER RABBIT.
OH, BRER RABBIT.

BRER RABBIT.
OH, BRER RABBIT.
WHY, I LOVE THAT FLOPPY-EARED

OH, BRER RABBIT.
WHY, I LOVE THAT FLOPPY-EARED
RASCAL, MR. MIKE.

WHY, I LOVE THAT FLOPPY-EARED
RASCAL, MR. MIKE.
AND IF I KNOW BRER RABBIT, HE'S

RASCAL, MR. MIKE.
AND IF I KNOW BRER RABBIT, HE'S
A-COOKIN' UP SOME DEVILMENT,

AND IF I KNOW BRER RABBIT, HE'S
A-COOKIN' UP SOME DEVILMENT,
AIN'T HE?

A-COOKIN' UP SOME DEVILMENT,
AIN'T HE?
HE SURE IS, UNCLE REMUS.

AIN'T HE?
HE SURE IS, UNCLE REMUS.
HE'S OFF TO TRICK SOMEBODY OUT

HE SURE IS, UNCLE REMUS.
HE'S OFF TO TRICK SOMEBODY OUT
OF THEIR CHICKENS OR SOMETHING.

HE'S OFF TO TRICK SOMEBODY OUT
OF THEIR CHICKENS OR SOMETHING.
GOD KNOWS WHAT.

OF THEIR CHICKENS OR SOMETHING.
GOD KNOWS WHAT.
GOING DOWN THE ROAD, HIPPITY

GOD KNOWS WHAT.
GOING DOWN THE ROAD, HIPPITY
HOPPITY, HIPPITY...

GOING DOWN THE ROAD, HIPPITY
HOPPITY, HIPPITY...
AND THEN HE SEES THIS HERE

HOPPITY, HIPPITY...
AND THEN HE SEES THIS HERE
TAR-BABY, RIGHT, MR. MIKE?

AND THEN HE SEES THIS HERE
TAR-BABY, RIGHT, MR. MIKE?
AND BRER RABBIT, THAT OLD

TAR-BABY, RIGHT, MR. MIKE?
AND BRER RABBIT, THAT OLD
SCALLYWAG, HE DONE UP AND WALLOP

AND BRER RABBIT, THAT OLD
SCALLYWAG, HE DONE UP AND WALLOP
HIM ONE AND HE GETS HIMSELF ALL

SCALLYWAG, HE DONE UP AND WALLOP
HIM ONE AND HE GETS HIMSELF ALL
STUCK IN THE MUD, RIGHT?

HIM ONE AND HE GETS HIMSELF ALL
STUCK IN THE MUD, RIGHT?
UNCLE REMUS, EXCUSE ME.

STUCK IN THE MUD, RIGHT?
UNCLE REMUS, EXCUSE ME.
THERE IS NO TAR-BABY.

UNCLE REMUS, EXCUSE ME.
THERE IS NO TAR-BABY.
YOU SEE, IN MY STORY, THE

THERE IS NO TAR-BABY.
YOU SEE, IN MY STORY, THE
TAR-BABY WAS USED TO REPAIR A

YOU SEE, IN MY STORY, THE
TAR-BABY WAS USED TO REPAIR A
POTHOLE.

TAR-BABY WAS USED TO REPAIR A
POTHOLE.
YOU SEE, BRER RABBIT'S GOING

POTHOLE.
YOU SEE, BRER RABBIT'S GOING
DOWN THE ROAD, HIPPITY HOPPITY,

YOU SEE, BRER RABBIT'S GOING
DOWN THE ROAD, HIPPITY HOPPITY,
HIPPITY HOPPITY, WHEN ALL OF A

DOWN THE ROAD, HIPPITY HOPPITY,
HIPPITY HOPPITY, WHEN ALL OF A
SUDDEN HE'S CAUGHT BY...

HIPPITY HOPPITY, WHEN ALL OF A
SUDDEN HE'S CAUGHT BY...
OH, I KNOW, I KNOW, MR. MIKE!

SUDDEN HE'S CAUGHT BY...
OH, I KNOW, I KNOW, MR. MIKE!
I KNOW!

OH, I KNOW, I KNOW, MR. MIKE!
I KNOW!
AND THEN THEY THREATEN TO SKIN

I KNOW!
AND THEN THEY THREATEN TO SKIN
HIM ALIVE, RIGHT, BUT THAT

AND THEN THEY THREATEN TO SKIN
HIM ALIVE, RIGHT, BUT THAT
CRAFTY OLD RABBIT, HE SAY, "SKIN

HIM ALIVE, RIGHT, BUT THAT
CRAFTY OLD RABBIT, HE SAY, "SKIN
ME ALIVE?

CRAFTY OLD RABBIT, HE SAY, "SKIN
ME ALIVE?
DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, BUT DON'T

ME ALIVE?
DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, BUT DON'T
THROW ME IN THE BRIAR PATCH!"

DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, BUT DON'T
THROW ME IN THE BRIAR PATCH!"
SO THEY THROWS HIM IN THE BRIAR

THROW ME IN THE BRIAR PATCH!"
SO THEY THROWS HIM IN THE BRIAR
PATCH, AND HE GETS AWAY!

SO THEY THROWS HIM IN THE BRIAR
PATCH, AND HE GETS AWAY!
[LAUGHS]

PATCH, AND HE GETS AWAY!
[LAUGHS]
NO, NOT QUITE, UNCLE REMUS.

[LAUGHS]
NO, NOT QUITE, UNCLE REMUS.
IN MY STORY, THEY RESPECT HIS

NO, NOT QUITE, UNCLE REMUS.
IN MY STORY, THEY RESPECT HIS
WISHES AND SKIN HIM ALIVE.

IN MY STORY, THEY RESPECT HIS
WISHES AND SKIN HIM ALIVE.
YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL VERY AMUSING

WISHES AND SKIN HIM ALIVE.
YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL VERY AMUSING
TO TALK IN SOME CHILDREN'S BOOK

YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL VERY AMUSING
TO TALK IN SOME CHILDREN'S BOOK
ABOUT BEING SKINNED ALIVE, BUT

TO TALK IN SOME CHILDREN'S BOOK
ABOUT BEING SKINNED ALIVE, BUT
IMAGINE IT REALLY GOING DOWN.

ABOUT BEING SKINNED ALIVE, BUT
IMAGINE IT REALLY GOING DOWN.
YOU KNOW, TOWARD THE END, WHEN

IMAGINE IT REALLY GOING DOWN.
YOU KNOW, TOWARD THE END, WHEN
THEY WERE SEPARATING THE EARS

YOU KNOW, TOWARD THE END, WHEN
THEY WERE SEPARATING THE EARS
FROM THE SIDES OF HIS SKULL, HE

THEY WERE SEPARATING THE EARS
FROM THE SIDES OF HIS SKULL, HE
STARTED SCREAMING, "THROW ME IN

FROM THE SIDES OF HIS SKULL, HE
STARTED SCREAMING, "THROW ME IN
THE BRIAR PATCH, THROW ME IN THE

STARTED SCREAMING, "THROW ME IN
THE BRIAR PATCH, THROW ME IN THE
MOLTEN-GLASS FURNACE... ANYTHING

THE BRIAR PATCH, THROW ME IN THE
MOLTEN-GLASS FURNACE... ANYTHING
BUT THIS!"

MOLTEN-GLASS FURNACE... ANYTHING
BUT THIS!"
OH, THAT'S JUST TERRIBLE,

BUT THIS!"
OH, THAT'S JUST TERRIBLE,
MR. MIKE.

OH, THAT'S JUST TERRIBLE,
MR. MIKE.
AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

MR. MIKE.
AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
HE DIED AND THEY ATE HIM.

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
HE DIED AND THEY ATE HIM.
THEY ATE BRER RABBIT?

HE DIED AND THEY ATE HIM.
THEY ATE BRER RABBIT?
OH, LORDY.

THEY ATE BRER RABBIT?
OH, LORDY.
YEAH, AND SOLD HIS FEET FOR

OH, LORDY.
YEAH, AND SOLD HIS FEET FOR
LUCKY CHARMS.

YEAH, AND SOLD HIS FEET FOR
LUCKY CHARMS.
THE END.

LUCKY CHARMS.
THE END.
DID YOU SAY "THE END"?

THE END.
DID YOU SAY "THE END"?
BUT, MR. MIKE, WHAT AM THE MORAL

DID YOU SAY "THE END"?
BUT, MR. MIKE, WHAT AM THE MORAL
OF THIS STORY, YOUNG MAN?

BUT, MR. MIKE, WHAT AM THE MORAL
OF THIS STORY, YOUNG MAN?
WELL, YOU SEE, THERE IS NO

OF THIS STORY, YOUNG MAN?
WELL, YOU SEE, THERE IS NO
MORAL, UNCLE REMUS, JUST RANDOM

WELL, YOU SEE, THERE IS NO
MORAL, UNCLE REMUS, JUST RANDOM
ACTS OF MEANINGLESS VIOLENCE.

MORAL, UNCLE REMUS, JUST RANDOM
ACTS OF MEANINGLESS VIOLENCE.
OH, I DON'T THINK I LIKE

ACTS OF MEANINGLESS VIOLENCE.
OH, I DON'T THINK I LIKE
THAT.

OH, I DON'T THINK I LIKE
THAT.
I DON'T THINK I LIKE THAT ONE

THAT.
I DON'T THINK I LIKE THAT ONE
BIT, MR. MIKE.

I DON'T THINK I LIKE THAT ONE
BIT, MR. MIKE.
NO, SIR.

BIT, MR. MIKE.
NO, SIR.
I DON'T LIKE THAT.

NO, SIR.
I DON'T LIKE THAT.
I FOUND THIS DEAD BLUEBIRD

I DON'T LIKE THAT.
I FOUND THIS DEAD BLUEBIRD
OUTSIDE YOUR SHACK.

I FOUND THIS DEAD BLUEBIRD
OUTSIDE YOUR SHACK.
WELL, MR. MIKE, THAT'S THE

OUTSIDE YOUR SHACK.
WELL, MR. MIKE, THAT'S THE
BLUEBIRD OF HAPPINESS.

WELL, MR. MIKE, THAT'S THE
BLUEBIRD OF HAPPINESS.
YEAH.

BLUEBIRD OF HAPPINESS.
YEAH.
YEAH, LOOKS LIKE IT'S BEEN THERE

YEAH.
YEAH, LOOKS LIKE IT'S BEEN THERE
TWO OR THREE WEEKS.

YEAH, LOOKS LIKE IT'S BEEN THERE
TWO OR THREE WEEKS.
HERE, PUT THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER,

TWO OR THREE WEEKS.
HERE, PUT THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER,
PAL.

HERE, PUT THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER,
PAL.
LISTEN, I HAVE TO RUN, OKAY?

PAL.
LISTEN, I HAVE TO RUN, OKAY?
ENCHANTé.

LISTEN, I HAVE TO RUN, OKAY?
ENCHANTé.
NICE SEEING YOU.

ENCHANTé.
NICE SEEING YOU.
DRIVER, REGINE'S.

NICE SEEING YOU.
DRIVER, REGINE'S.
AND STEP ON IT.

DRIVER, REGINE'S.
AND STEP ON IT.
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

♪ MY, OH, MY, WHAT A

WONDERFUL DAY ♪

♪ PLENTY OF SUNSHINE HEADIN' MY

WAY ♪

♪ ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH,

ZIP-A-DEE-AY! ♪

THIS WEEK, GARY WEIS SPENT
SOME TIME WITH ROCK POET
PATTI SMITH.

SOME TIME WITH ROCK POET
PATTI SMITH.
HERE IS THE FILM.

WE'RE ALL WORKING VERY HARD
TO, LIKE, RELEASE OURSELVES FROM
THE BOND OF CENSORSHIP.

TO, LIKE, RELEASE OURSELVES FROM
THE BOND OF CENSORSHIP.
AND IT'S HAPPENING SLOWLY.

THE BOND OF CENSORSHIP.
AND IT'S HAPPENING SLOWLY.
THERE'S A NEW FORCE OF ENERGY

AND IT'S HAPPENING SLOWLY.
THERE'S A NEW FORCE OF ENERGY
GOING ACROSS THE COUNTRY, GOING

THERE'S A NEW FORCE OF ENERGY
GOING ACROSS THE COUNTRY, GOING
ACROSS THE WORLD, RINGING AROUND

GOING ACROSS THE COUNTRY, GOING
ACROSS THE WORLD, RINGING AROUND
THE WORLD LIKE THE ARMS OF

ACROSS THE WORLD, RINGING AROUND
THE WORLD LIKE THE ARMS OF
SATURN.

THE WORLD LIKE THE ARMS OF
SATURN.
AND THERE'S THOUSANDS OF KIDS

SATURN.
AND THERE'S THOUSANDS OF KIDS
ALL OVER THE WORLD WHO ARE DOING

AND THERE'S THOUSANDS OF KIDS
ALL OVER THE WORLD WHO ARE DOING
EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO GET THIS,

ALL OVER THE WORLD WHO ARE DOING
EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO GET THIS,
THEIR GUITAR, THEIR MACHINE GUN,

EVERYTHING THEY CAN TO GET THIS,
THEIR GUITAR, THEIR MACHINE GUN,
AND ENTER INTO THE ARENA, THE

THEIR GUITAR, THEIR MACHINE GUN,
AND ENTER INTO THE ARENA, THE
BATTLEGROUND OF ROCK 'N' ROLL.

AND ENTER INTO THE ARENA, THE
BATTLEGROUND OF ROCK 'N' ROLL.
♪ G ♪

BATTLEGROUND OF ROCK 'N' ROLL.
♪ G ♪
♪ L ♪

♪ G ♪
♪ L ♪
♪ O ♪

♪ L ♪
♪ O ♪
♪ R ♪

♪ O ♪
♪ R ♪
♪ I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I ♪

♪ R ♪
♪ I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I ♪
♪ G-L-O-R-I-A ♪

♪ I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I ♪
♪ G-L-O-R-I-A ♪
♪ GLORIA ♪

♪ G-L-O-R-I-A ♪
♪ GLORIA ♪
♪ G-L-O-R-I-A ♪

♪ GLORIA ♪
♪ G-L-O-R-I-A ♪
♪ GLORIA ♪

♪ G-L-O-R-I-A ♪
♪ GLORIA ♪
WELL, FOR ME, IT WAS EXACTLY A

♪ GLORIA ♪
WELL, FOR ME, IT WAS EXACTLY A
YEAR WHEN MY GROUP PERFORMED FOR

WELL, FOR ME, IT WAS EXACTLY A
YEAR WHEN MY GROUP PERFORMED FOR
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."

YEAR WHEN MY GROUP PERFORMED FOR
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
AND IT WAS REALLY A GREAT

"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
AND IT WAS REALLY A GREAT
PRIVILEGE FOR US TO BE ABLE TO,

AND IT WAS REALLY A GREAT
PRIVILEGE FOR US TO BE ABLE TO,
LIKE, REACH AND COMMUNICATE WITH

PRIVILEGE FOR US TO BE ABLE TO,
LIKE, REACH AND COMMUNICATE WITH
SO MANY PEOPLE SO IMMEDIATELY.

LIKE, REACH AND COMMUNICATE WITH
SO MANY PEOPLE SO IMMEDIATELY.
BUT THE ONE SADNESS THAT WE HAD

SO MANY PEOPLE SO IMMEDIATELY.
BUT THE ONE SADNESS THAT WE HAD
WAS THAT BEFORE WE WENT ON,

BUT THE ONE SADNESS THAT WE HAD
WAS THAT BEFORE WE WENT ON,
BEFORE WE WERE ABLE TO

WAS THAT BEFORE WE WENT ON,
BEFORE WE WERE ABLE TO
COMPLETELY EXERT THE TOTAL

BEFORE WE WERE ABLE TO
COMPLETELY EXERT THE TOTAL
ABANDON THAT WE FELT, THE

COMPLETELY EXERT THE TOTAL
ABANDON THAT WE FELT, THE
IMMEDIACY THAT LIVE TELEVISION

ABANDON THAT WE FELT, THE
IMMEDIACY THAT LIVE TELEVISION
OUGHT TO HAVE, WE WERE TOLD THAT

IMMEDIACY THAT LIVE TELEVISION
OUGHT TO HAVE, WE WERE TOLD THAT
BECAUSE OF FCC REGULATIONS, WE

OUGHT TO HAVE, WE WERE TOLD THAT
BECAUSE OF FCC REGULATIONS, WE
WOULD HAVE TO, LIKE, CHANGE OUR

BECAUSE OF FCC REGULATIONS, WE
WOULD HAVE TO, LIKE, CHANGE OUR
WORDS TO "MY GENERATION"...

WOULD HAVE TO, LIKE, CHANGE OUR
WORDS TO "MY GENERATION"...
CHANGING THE WORDS OF OUR

WORDS TO "MY GENERATION"...
CHANGING THE WORDS OF OUR
GENERATION.

CHANGING THE WORDS OF OUR
GENERATION.
AND, LIKE, WE DID THIS BECAUSE

GENERATION.
AND, LIKE, WE DID THIS BECAUSE
WE FELT LIKE WE WOULD BE ABLE TO

AND, LIKE, WE DID THIS BECAUSE
WE FELT LIKE WE WOULD BE ABLE TO
AT LEAST FIGHT BY, LIKE, SAYING,

WE FELT LIKE WE WOULD BE ABLE TO
AT LEAST FIGHT BY, LIKE, SAYING,
"JESUS DIED FOR SOMEBODY'S SINS

AT LEAST FIGHT BY, LIKE, SAYING,
"JESUS DIED FOR SOMEBODY'S SINS
BUT NOT MINE."

"JESUS DIED FOR SOMEBODY'S SINS
BUT NOT MINE."
♪ JESUS DIED FOR SOMEBODY'S

BUT NOT MINE."
♪ JESUS DIED FOR SOMEBODY'S
SINS ♪

♪ JESUS DIED FOR SOMEBODY'S
SINS ♪
♪ BUT NOT MINE ♪

SINS ♪
♪ BUT NOT MINE ♪
LOOK AT JESUS.

♪ BUT NOT MINE ♪
LOOK AT JESUS.
HE DIES, RIGHT?

LOOK AT JESUS.
HE DIES, RIGHT?
AND WHAT HAPPENED... HE DIED, HE

HE DIES, RIGHT?
AND WHAT HAPPENED... HE DIED, HE
DIES ON THE CROSS.

AND WHAT HAPPENED... HE DIED, HE
DIES ON THE CROSS.
ON EASTER, AS HE WAS DYING, HE

DIES ON THE CROSS.
ON EASTER, AS HE WAS DYING, HE
CHECKED IT OUT.

ON EASTER, AS HE WAS DYING, HE
CHECKED IT OUT.
HE CHECKED IT OUT AND REALIZED

CHECKED IT OUT.
HE CHECKED IT OUT AND REALIZED
ALL IT MEANT WAS LIKE THESE BIG

HE CHECKED IT OUT AND REALIZED
ALL IT MEANT WAS LIKE THESE BIG
HANDS COME OUT AND PULL HIM

ALL IT MEANT WAS LIKE THESE BIG
HANDS COME OUT AND PULL HIM
UP, PULL HIM UP INTO THE

HANDS COME OUT AND PULL HIM
UP, PULL HIM UP INTO THE
ULTIMATE ZENITH.

UP, PULL HIM UP INTO THE
ULTIMATE ZENITH.
SO, LIKE, HE CHECKED IT OUT.

ULTIMATE ZENITH.
SO, LIKE, HE CHECKED IT OUT.
AND HE SAID, "OH, YEAH, DAD'S

SO, LIKE, HE CHECKED IT OUT.
AND HE SAID, "OH, YEAH, DAD'S
GREAT.

AND HE SAID, "OH, YEAH, DAD'S
GREAT.
I REMEMBER."

GREAT.
I REMEMBER."
BUT FOR A MOMENT, HE JUST, LIKE,

I REMEMBER."
BUT FOR A MOMENT, HE JUST, LIKE,
EVEN WITH HIS INTIMATE RELATION

BUT FOR A MOMENT, HE JUST, LIKE,
EVEN WITH HIS INTIMATE RELATION
WITH WHAT A TOTAL GROOVE IT WAS

EVEN WITH HIS INTIMATE RELATION
WITH WHAT A TOTAL GROOVE IT WAS
TO BE A CELESTIAL BODY, HE JUST

WITH WHAT A TOTAL GROOVE IT WAS
TO BE A CELESTIAL BODY, HE JUST
HAD TO HAVE ONE MORE SHOT ON

TO BE A CELESTIAL BODY, HE JUST
HAD TO HAVE ONE MORE SHOT ON
EARTH.

HAD TO HAVE ONE MORE SHOT ON
EARTH.
AND, LIKE, HE JUST... THAT'S

EARTH.
AND, LIKE, HE JUST... THAT'S
WHAT RESURRECTION'S ALL ABOUT.

AND, LIKE, HE JUST... THAT'S
WHAT RESURRECTION'S ALL ABOUT.
IT'S LIKE HAVING TO HAVE ANOTHER

WHAT RESURRECTION'S ALL ABOUT.
IT'S LIKE HAVING TO HAVE ANOTHER
SHOT.

IT'S LIKE HAVING TO HAVE ANOTHER
SHOT.
♪ JESUS DIED FOR SOMEBODY'S

SHOT.
♪ JESUS DIED FOR SOMEBODY'S
SINS ♪

♪ JESUS DIED FOR SOMEBODY'S
SINS ♪
♪ BUT NOT MINE ♪

SINS ♪
♪ BUT NOT MINE ♪
[APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

[With a Southern accent]
HOWDY, I'M GEORGE WALLACE
HERE TO TALK TO Y'ALL ABOUT THE

HOWDY, I'M GEORGE WALLACE
HERE TO TALK TO Y'ALL ABOUT THE
NEW SOUTH.

HERE TO TALK TO Y'ALL ABOUT THE
NEW SOUTH.
YOU KNOW, WE HERE IN ALABAMA

NEW SOUTH.
YOU KNOW, WE HERE IN ALABAMA
HAVE BEEN CALLED A LOT OF

YOU KNOW, WE HERE IN ALABAMA
HAVE BEEN CALLED A LOT OF
NAMES... RUBES, HICKS, HAYSEEDS,

HAVE BEEN CALLED A LOT OF
NAMES... RUBES, HICKS, HAYSEEDS,
REDNECKS, CRACKERS, YAHOOS,

NAMES... RUBES, HICKS, HAYSEEDS,
REDNECKS, CRACKERS, YAHOOS,
CLODHOPPERS, MUDKICKERS,

REDNECKS, CRACKERS, YAHOOS,
CLODHOPPERS, MUDKICKERS,
HOGWITS, DOGBRAINS, DONKEYHEADS,

CLODHOPPERS, MUDKICKERS,
HOGWITS, DOGBRAINS, DONKEYHEADS,
MANUREMINDS... ALL BASED ON SOME

HOGWITS, DOGBRAINS, DONKEYHEADS,
MANUREMINDS... ALL BASED ON SOME
OUT-OF-DATE, STEREOTYPED IMAGE

MANUREMINDS... ALL BASED ON SOME
OUT-OF-DATE, STEREOTYPED IMAGE
OF THE SOUTH.

OUT-OF-DATE, STEREOTYPED IMAGE
OF THE SOUTH.
NOW, THAT ENDED SOME 10 OR 15

OF THE SOUTH.
NOW, THAT ENDED SOME 10 OR 15
YEARS AGO.

NOW, THAT ENDED SOME 10 OR 15
YEARS AGO.
TAKE THIS SIGN FOR INSTANCE, A

YEARS AGO.
TAKE THIS SIGN FOR INSTANCE, A
SYMBOL OF WHITE RACISM AND

TAKE THIS SIGN FOR INSTANCE, A
SYMBOL OF WHITE RACISM AND
OPPRESSION.

OPPRESSION.
I ALWAYS GET A BIG BANG OUT OF

I ALWAYS GET A BIG BANG OUT OF
ALL THEM NORTHERN TOURISTS WHO

ALL THEM NORTHERN TOURISTS WHO
COME TO BIRMINGHAM AND EXPECT TO

COME TO BIRMINGHAM AND EXPECT TO
SEE THESE HERE SIGNS HANGING

SEE THESE HERE SIGNS HANGING
FROM EVERY DRINKING FOUNTAIN.

FROM EVERY DRINKING FOUNTAIN.
OF COURSE, WE TORE THESE SIGNS

OF COURSE, WE TORE THESE SIGNS
DOWN IN 1966...
AND REPLACED THEM WITH THIS

DOWN IN 1966...
AND REPLACED THEM WITH THIS
SIGN.

AND REPLACED THEM WITH THIS
SIGN.
NOW...

SIGN.
NOW...
NOW, YOU CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE

NOW...
NOW, YOU CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE
FOR YOURSELF... IT'S CLEAN, IT'S

NOW, YOU CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE
FOR YOURSELF... IT'S CLEAN, IT'S
MODERN, IT'S TO THE POINT.

FOR YOURSELF... IT'S CLEAN, IT'S
MODERN, IT'S TO THE POINT.
OR CONSIDER THIS BUMPER STICKER

MODERN, IT'S TO THE POINT.
OR CONSIDER THIS BUMPER STICKER
SO POPULAR WITH THE YOUNGER

OR CONSIDER THIS BUMPER STICKER
SO POPULAR WITH THE YOUNGER
FOLKS.

SO POPULAR WITH THE YOUNGER
FOLKS.
"WARNING! I BRAKE FOR NEGROES."

FOLKS.
"WARNING! I BRAKE FOR NEGROES."
JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE

"WARNING! I BRAKE FOR NEGROES."
JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE
INCREASED RESPECT BLACK

JUST ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF THE
INCREASED RESPECT BLACK
AMERICANS ARE GETTING HERE IN

INCREASED RESPECT BLACK
AMERICANS ARE GETTING HERE IN
THE HEART OF DIXIE.

AMERICANS ARE GETTING HERE IN
THE HEART OF DIXIE.
["DIXIE" PLAYS]

THE HEART OF DIXIE.
["DIXIE" PLAYS]
YOU KNOW, THE ELECTION OF

["DIXIE" PLAYS]
YOU KNOW, THE ELECTION OF
JIMMY CARTER HERALDS A NEW ERA,

YOU KNOW, THE ELECTION OF
JIMMY CARTER HERALDS A NEW ERA,
AN ERA OF INCREASING AWARENESS

JIMMY CARTER HERALDS A NEW ERA,
AN ERA OF INCREASING AWARENESS
OF THE SOUTH AS A VITAL,

AN ERA OF INCREASING AWARENESS
OF THE SOUTH AS A VITAL,
IMPORTANT PART OF AMERICA'S

OF THE SOUTH AS A VITAL,
IMPORTANT PART OF AMERICA'S
FUTURE.

IMPORTANT PART OF AMERICA'S
FUTURE.
ALABAMA WELCOMES THIS ERA.

FUTURE.
ALABAMA WELCOMES THIS ERA.
AND IT'S HIGH TIME THE REST OF

ALABAMA WELCOMES THIS ERA.
AND IT'S HIGH TIME THE REST OF
THE NATION STOPPED THINKING OF

AND IT'S HIGH TIME THE REST OF
THE NATION STOPPED THINKING OF
US AS SOME JERKWATER STATE WHERE

THE NATION STOPPED THINKING OF
US AS SOME JERKWATER STATE WHERE
NEGROES ARE FORCED TO RIDE IN

US AS SOME JERKWATER STATE WHERE
NEGROES ARE FORCED TO RIDE IN
THE BACKS OF BUSES.

NEGROES ARE FORCED TO RIDE IN
THE BACKS OF BUSES.
WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS.

THE BACKS OF BUSES.
WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS.
NOW NEGROES ARE FORCED TO RIDE

WE'RE MAKING PROGRESS.
NOW NEGROES ARE FORCED TO RIDE
IN THE BACK OF EVERYTHING FROM

NOW NEGROES ARE FORCED TO RIDE
IN THE BACK OF EVERYTHING FROM
JET PLANES TO MONORAILS.

IN THE BACK OF EVERYTHING FROM
JET PLANES TO MONORAILS.
AND SOMEDAY, GOD WILLING, EVEN

JET PLANES TO MONORAILS.
AND SOMEDAY, GOD WILLING, EVEN
ROCKETS TO THE MOON.

AND SOMEDAY, GOD WILLING, EVEN
ROCKETS TO THE MOON.
THANK Y'ALL.

ROCKETS TO THE MOON.
THANK Y'ALL.
[APPLAUSE]

THAT'S THE SHOW FOR TONIGHT.
I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU HERE
FOR COMING AND THANK MY MOTHER

I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU HERE
FOR COMING AND THANK MY MOTHER
AND THANK MY WIFE AND

FOR COMING AND THANK MY MOTHER
AND THANK MY WIFE AND
PARTICULARLY THANK THE

AND THANK MY WIFE AND
PARTICULARLY THANK THE
NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS

PARTICULARLY THANK THE
NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS
AND THANK EVERYBODY WHO MADE

NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS
AND THANK EVERYBODY WHO MADE
THIS ONE OF THE STRANGEST

AND THANK EVERYBODY WHO MADE
THIS ONE OF THE STRANGEST
EXPERIENCES I'VE EVER HAD IN MY

THIS ONE OF THE STRANGEST
EXPERIENCES I'VE EVER HAD IN MY
LIFE.

EXPERIENCES I'VE EVER HAD IN MY
LIFE.
THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH.

LIFE.
THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[BAND PLAYS]

Announcer: MR. MIKE PLAYED

BY MICHAEL O'DONOGHUE.

NEXT SATURDAY NIGHT, OUR HOST

WILL BE ELLIOT GOULD WITH

MUSICAL GUEST ROSALYN KIND AND

THE McGARRIGLE SISTERS.

THIS IS DON PARDO.

LOOK FOR ME IN THE EASTER PARADE

TOMORROW.

I'LL BE DRESSED AS BABY DUCK.

GOOD NIGHT.