Saturday Night Live (1975–…): Season 2, Episode 13 - Fran Tarkenton/Leo Sayer, Donnie Harper and the Voices of Tomorrow - full transcript

I CAN'T PLAY THE GAME FOR
YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TELL

YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TELL
YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TELL
YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.

YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
THIS IS THE BIG ONE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
THIS IS THE BIG ONE.
OUR LAST TWO GAMES, WE WERE OFF

THIS IS THE BIG ONE.
OUR LAST TWO GAMES, WE WERE OFF
OUR GAME, OKAY?

OUR LAST TWO GAMES, WE WERE OFF
OUR GAME, OKAY?
WE BLEW SOME SURE LAUGHS.

OUR GAME, OKAY?
WE BLEW SOME SURE LAUGHS.
WE WERE SLOPPY.

WE BLEW SOME SURE LAUGHS.
WE WERE SLOPPY.
WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY GUTS.

WE WERE SLOPPY.
WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY GUTS.
LET'S FACE IT... WE DIDN'T WANT

WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY GUTS.
LET'S FACE IT... WE DIDN'T WANT
IT BAD ENOUGH.



LET'S FACE IT... WE DIDN'T WANT
IT BAD ENOUGH.
OKAY, NOW, WE'RE LOSING SOME

IT BAD ENOUGH.
OKAY, NOW, WE'RE LOSING SOME
STRENGTH.

OKAY, NOW, WE'RE LOSING SOME
STRENGTH.
BELUSHI'S GONNA BE OUT THIS

STRENGTH.
BELUSHI'S GONNA BE OUT THIS
WEEK.

BELUSHI'S GONNA BE OUT THIS
WEEK.
BUT I'LL BE ON THE SIDELINES

WEEK.
BUT I'LL BE ON THE SIDELINES
SENDING IN THOSE JOKES WHEN IT'S

BUT I'LL BE ON THE SIDELINES
SENDING IN THOSE JOKES WHEN IT'S
NECESSARY.

SENDING IN THOSE JOKES WHEN IT'S
NECESSARY.
AND WHEN YOU GET OUT IN FRONT OF

NECESSARY.
AND WHEN YOU GET OUT IN FRONT OF
THOSE CAMERAS, I WANT YOU TO ACT

AND WHEN YOU GET OUT IN FRONT OF
THOSE CAMERAS, I WANT YOU TO ACT
WHAT YOU FEEL, ACT WHAT YOU

THOSE CAMERAS, I WANT YOU TO ACT
WHAT YOU FEEL, ACT WHAT YOU
KNOW.

WHAT YOU FEEL, ACT WHAT YOU
KNOW.
AND REMEMBER, WHAT'S THE MOST

KNOW.
AND REMEMBER, WHAT'S THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING?

AND REMEMBER, WHAT'S THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING?
All: BE FUNNY!



IMPORTANT THING?
All: BE FUNNY!
FUNNY! FUNNY! FUNNY!

All: BE FUNNY!
FUNNY! FUNNY! FUNNY!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

FUNNY! FUNNY! FUNNY!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
OKAY, NOW, TARK, YOU'RE GONNA

HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
OKAY, NOW, TARK, YOU'RE GONNA
BE OUT THERE FIRST.

OKAY, NOW, TARK, YOU'RE GONNA
BE OUT THERE FIRST.
YOU GOT ANY QUESTIONS?

BE OUT THERE FIRST.
YOU GOT ANY QUESTIONS?
YEAH, IF I TELL A JOKE AND IT

YOU GOT ANY QUESTIONS?
YEAH, IF I TELL A JOKE AND IT
DOESN'T GET AN IMMEDIATE

YEAH, IF I TELL A JOKE AND IT
DOESN'T GET AN IMMEDIATE
RESPONSE, DO I WAIT FOR A LAUGH?

DOESN'T GET AN IMMEDIATE
RESPONSE, DO I WAIT FOR A LAUGH?
NO. NO! NO!

RESPONSE, DO I WAIT FOR A LAUGH?
NO. NO! NO!
BILL.

NO. NO! NO!
BILL.
WHEN A JOKE DOESN'T GET A

BILL.
WHEN A JOKE DOESN'T GET A
LAUGH, THE TELLER OF THE JOKE

WHEN A JOKE DOESN'T GET A
LAUGH, THE TELLER OF THE JOKE
SHOULD MAKE A FACE.

LAUGH, THE TELLER OF THE JOKE
SHOULD MAKE A FACE.
WHAT KIND OF FACE?

SHOULD MAKE A FACE.
WHAT KIND OF FACE?
A FUNNY FACE.

WHAT KIND OF FACE?
A FUNNY FACE.
ALL RIGHT.

A FUNNY FACE.
ALL RIGHT.
FUNNY.

ALL RIGHT.
FUNNY.
FUNNY! FUNNY! FUNNY!

FUNNY.
FUNNY! FUNNY! FUNNY!
HA! HA! HA! HA!

FUNNY! FUNNY! FUNNY!
HA! HA! HA! HA!
ALL RIGHT, ANY MORE

HA! HA! HA! HA!
ALL RIGHT, ANY MORE
QUESTIONS?

ALL RIGHT, ANY MORE
QUESTIONS?
TARK?

QUESTIONS?
TARK?
YEAH, COACH, IF I BLOW A LINE

TARK?
YEAH, COACH, IF I BLOW A LINE
OR A WORD, WHAT DO I DO, IGNORE

YEAH, COACH, IF I BLOW A LINE
OR A WORD, WHAT DO I DO, IGNORE
IT?

OR A WORD, WHAT DO I DO, IGNORE
IT?
NO, NO, NO!

IT?
NO, NO, NO!
GILDA.

NO, NO, NO!
GILDA.
WHEN YOU BLOW A LINE OR A

GILDA.
WHEN YOU BLOW A LINE OR A
WORD, THE BLOWER OF THE LINE OR

WHEN YOU BLOW A LINE OR A
WORD, THE BLOWER OF THE LINE OR
THE WORD SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE IT

WORD, THE BLOWER OF THE LINE OR
THE WORD SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE IT
AND HAVE FUN WITH IT.

THE WORD SHOULD ACKNOWLEDGE IT
AND HAVE FUN WITH IT.
GOOD.

AND HAVE FUN WITH IT.
GOOD.
JANE, WHY DO WE HAVE FUN WITH

GOOD.
JANE, WHY DO WE HAVE FUN WITH
IT?

JANE, WHY DO WE HAVE FUN WITH
IT?
BECAUSE IF WE DON'T HAVE FUN

IT?
BECAUSE IF WE DON'T HAVE FUN
WITH IT, THE AUDIENCE WON'T HAVE

BECAUSE IF WE DON'T HAVE FUN
WITH IT, THE AUDIENCE WON'T HAVE
FUN WITH IT!

WITH IT, THE AUDIENCE WON'T HAVE
FUN WITH IT!
HA! HA! HA! HA!

FUN WITH IT!
HA! HA! HA! HA!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, GOOD.

HA! HA! HA! HA!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
ARE THERE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?
YEAH.

ARE THERE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?
YEAH.
TARK.

YEAH.
TARK.
I FORGOT THE FIRST JOKE IN MY

TARK.
I FORGOT THE FIRST JOKE IN MY
MONOLOGUE.

I FORGOT THE FIRST JOKE IN MY
MONOLOGUE.
WHAT?

MONOLOGUE.
WHAT?
ARE YOU CLUTCHING?

WHAT?
ARE YOU CLUTCHING?
IS THAT IT?

ARE YOU CLUTCHING?
IS THAT IT?
YOU'RE TELLING ME IT'S TRUE WHAT

IS THAT IT?
YOU'RE TELLING ME IT'S TRUE WHAT
THEY SAY ABOUT YOU... THAT

YOU'RE TELLING ME IT'S TRUE WHAT
THEY SAY ABOUT YOU... THAT
FRAN TARKENTON CAN'T WIN THE BIG

THEY SAY ABOUT YOU... THAT
FRAN TARKENTON CAN'T WIN THE BIG
ONE?

FRAN TARKENTON CAN'T WIN THE BIG
ONE?
OH, BOY.

ONE?
OH, BOY.
THAT YOU'RE A LOSER?

OH, BOY.
THAT YOU'RE A LOSER?
FRAN, LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE

THAT YOU'RE A LOSER?
FRAN, LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE
STORY... A STORY ABOUT A KID WHO

FRAN, LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE
STORY... A STORY ABOUT A KID WHO
PLAYED FOOTBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL.

STORY... A STORY ABOUT A KID WHO
PLAYED FOOTBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL.
HIS GRADES WERE PRETTY BAD.

PLAYED FOOTBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL.
HIS GRADES WERE PRETTY BAD.
BUT HE PLAYED FOOTBALL.

HIS GRADES WERE PRETTY BAD.
BUT HE PLAYED FOOTBALL.
HE PLAYED FOUR YEARS, AND HIS

BUT HE PLAYED FOOTBALL.
HE PLAYED FOUR YEARS, AND HIS
GRADES GOT UP.

HE PLAYED FOUR YEARS, AND HIS
GRADES GOT UP.
HE WENT TO THE

GRADES GOT UP.
HE WENT TO THE
UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS...

HE WENT TO THE
UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS...
FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIP.

UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS...
FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIP.
GOT GOOD GRADES THERE.

FOOTBALL SCHOLARSHIP.
GOT GOOD GRADES THERE.
PLAYED FOOTBALL THERE, THEN HE

GOT GOOD GRADES THERE.
PLAYED FOOTBALL THERE, THEN HE
WENT ON TO HARVARD LAW SCHOOL,

PLAYED FOOTBALL THERE, THEN HE
WENT ON TO HARVARD LAW SCHOOL,
GRADUATED, AND WENT TO CHICAGO

WENT ON TO HARVARD LAW SCHOOL,
GRADUATED, AND WENT TO CHICAGO
TO BECOME A SUCCESSFUL BANKER.

GRADUATED, AND WENT TO CHICAGO
TO BECOME A SUCCESSFUL BANKER.
THAT BOY'S NAME WAS BOB BUCKLEY.

TO BECOME A SUCCESSFUL BANKER.
THAT BOY'S NAME WAS BOB BUCKLEY.
WHO'S BOB BUCKLEY, COACH?

THAT BOY'S NAME WAS BOB BUCKLEY.
WHO'S BOB BUCKLEY, COACH?
A GUY I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL

WHO'S BOB BUCKLEY, COACH?
A GUY I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL
WITH.

A GUY I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL
WITH.
HEY, COME ON.

WITH.
HEY, COME ON.
ALL RIGHT, OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

HEY, COME ON.
ALL RIGHT, OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT!

ALL RIGHT, OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT!
NOW, LOOK, I CAN'T HOST THE SHOW

ALL RIGHT!
NOW, LOOK, I CAN'T HOST THE SHOW
FOR YOU.

NOW, LOOK, I CAN'T HOST THE SHOW
FOR YOU.
YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT THERE

FOR YOU.
YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT THERE
HOSTING THAT SHOW FOR YOURSELF.

YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT THERE
HOSTING THAT SHOW FOR YOURSELF.
YOU LOSE YOUR HEAD OUT THERE IN

HOSTING THAT SHOW FOR YOURSELF.
YOU LOSE YOUR HEAD OUT THERE IN
FRONT OF THOSE CAMERAS, YOU ARE

YOU LOSE YOUR HEAD OUT THERE IN
FRONT OF THOSE CAMERAS, YOU ARE
GONNA MAKE A FOOL OUT OF

FRONT OF THOSE CAMERAS, YOU ARE
GONNA MAKE A FOOL OUT OF
YOURSELF.

GONNA MAKE A FOOL OUT OF
YOURSELF.
ALL RIGHT?

YOURSELF.
ALL RIGHT?
OKAY, NOW, LOOK...

ALL RIGHT?
OKAY, NOW, LOOK...
WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?

OKAY, NOW, LOOK...
WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?
I DO MY MONOLOGUE.

WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?
I DO MY MONOLOGUE.
DO YOUR MONOLOGUE. GOOD.

I DO MY MONOLOGUE.
DO YOUR MONOLOGUE. GOOD.
WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?

DO YOUR MONOLOGUE. GOOD.
WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?
I ACT.

WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?
I ACT.
RIGHT. GOOD.

I ACT.
RIGHT. GOOD.
WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?

RIGHT. GOOD.
WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?
I INTRODUCE LEO SAYER AND

WHAT DO YOU DO HERE?
I INTRODUCE LEO SAYER AND
DONNIE HARPER AND HIS SINGERS.

I INTRODUCE LEO SAYER AND
DONNIE HARPER AND HIS SINGERS.
GOOD.

DONNIE HARPER AND HIS SINGERS.
GOOD.
NOW, LOOK, TARK, JUST MAINTAIN

GOOD.
NOW, LOOK, TARK, JUST MAINTAIN
YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.

NOW, LOOK, TARK, JUST MAINTAIN
YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
JUST GET A LAUGH.

YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
JUST GET A LAUGH.
HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.

JUST GET A LAUGH.
HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.
STAY LOOSE.

HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.
STAY LOOSE.
STAY IN CONDITION.

STAY LOOSE.
STAY IN CONDITION.
THAT WAS WHAT WAS WRONG WITH

STAY IN CONDITION.
THAT WAS WHAT WAS WRONG WITH
TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN.

THAT WAS WHAT WAS WRONG WITH
TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN.
THEY DIDN'T STAY IN CONDITION!

TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN.
THEY DIDN'T STAY IN CONDITION!
OKAY?

THEY DIDN'T STAY IN CONDITION!
OKAY?
FUNNY!

OKAY?
FUNNY!
All: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

FUNNY!
All: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA!

All: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
HA!
EVERYBODY, LET'S HAVE SOME

HA!
EVERYBODY, LET'S HAVE SOME
EXERCISES.

EVERYBODY, LET'S HAVE SOME
EXERCISES.
COMEDY CALS.

EXERCISES.
COMEDY CALS.
OKAY, TAKE TO THE RIGHT.

COMEDY CALS.
OKAY, TAKE TO THE RIGHT.
TAKE TO THE LEFT.

OKAY, TAKE TO THE RIGHT.
TAKE TO THE LEFT.
DOUBLE TAKE RIGHT.

TAKE TO THE LEFT.
DOUBLE TAKE RIGHT.
DOUBLE TAKE LEFT.

DOUBLE TAKE RIGHT.
DOUBLE TAKE LEFT.
OKAY, RIGHT EYEBROW UP.

DOUBLE TAKE LEFT.
OKAY, RIGHT EYEBROW UP.
LEFT EYEBROW UP.

OKAY, RIGHT EYEBROW UP.
LEFT EYEBROW UP.
BOTH EYEBROWS UP.

LEFT EYEBROW UP.
BOTH EYEBROWS UP.
OKAY, NOW MUG.

BOTH EYEBROWS UP.
OKAY, NOW MUG.
FUNNY FACES. MUG.

OKAY, NOW MUG.
FUNNY FACES. MUG.
CROSS YOUR EYES.

FUNNY FACES. MUG.
CROSS YOUR EYES.
COME ON. MUG.

CROSS YOUR EYES.
COME ON. MUG.
AKROYD!

COME ON. MUG.
AKROYD!
OKAY, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

AKROYD!
OKAY, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
OKAY, WE'RE GOOD AND LOOSE.

OKAY, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.
OKAY, WE'RE GOOD AND LOOSE.
OKAY, LET'S GET TOGETHER FOR A

OKAY, WE'RE GOOD AND LOOSE.
OKAY, LET'S GET TOGETHER FOR A
TEAM PRAYER.

OKAY, LET'S GET TOGETHER FOR A
TEAM PRAYER.
GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE.

TEAM PRAYER.
GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE.
DEAR LORD, PLEASE GIVE US THE

GET DOWN ON ONE KNEE.
DEAR LORD, PLEASE GIVE US THE
ZANINESS AND COURAGE THESE MEN

DEAR LORD, PLEASE GIVE US THE
ZANINESS AND COURAGE THESE MEN
NEED TO MAKE AMERICA LAUGH

ZANINESS AND COURAGE THESE MEN
NEED TO MAKE AMERICA LAUGH
BECAUSE AMERICA IS THE FUNNIEST

NEED TO MAKE AMERICA LAUGH
BECAUSE AMERICA IS THE FUNNIEST
NATION IN THE WORLD.

BECAUSE AMERICA IS THE FUNNIEST
NATION IN THE WORLD.
HELP THEM REMEMBER WHAT THEIR

NATION IN THE WORLD.
HELP THEM REMEMBER WHAT THEIR
COACHES TOLD THEM SO THAT EVERY

HELP THEM REMEMBER WHAT THEIR
COACHES TOLD THEM SO THAT EVERY
MAN HERE WILL HAVE LEARNED

COACHES TOLD THEM SO THAT EVERY
MAN HERE WILL HAVE LEARNED
SOMETHING ABOUT HIMSELF.

MAN HERE WILL HAVE LEARNED
SOMETHING ABOUT HIMSELF.
AND PLEASE, LORD, HELP GUIDE

SOMETHING ABOUT HIMSELF.
AND PLEASE, LORD, HELP GUIDE
FRAN TARKENTON SO THAT HE WILL

AND PLEASE, LORD, HELP GUIDE
FRAN TARKENTON SO THAT HE WILL
NOT HUMILIATE HIMSELF LIKE HE

FRAN TARKENTON SO THAT HE WILL
NOT HUMILIATE HIMSELF LIKE HE
DID IN THE SUPER BOWL.

NOT HUMILIATE HIMSELF LIKE HE
DID IN THE SUPER BOWL.
All: AMEN!

DID IN THE SUPER BOWL.
All: AMEN!
[CHANTING "HA! HA! HA! HA!"]

All: AMEN!
[CHANTING "HA! HA! HA! HA!"]
[CHANTING CONTINUES]

[CHANTING "HA! HA! HA! HA!"]
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S

[CHANTING CONTINUES]
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S
"SATURDAY NIGHT"!

Announcer: NBC's
"SATURDAY NIGHT."
STARRING...

WITH SPECIAL GUEST...

AND...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
FRAN TARKENTON!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
NOW, I'M NOT GOING TO PREDICT

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
NOW, I'M NOT GOING TO PREDICT
HOW THIS SHOW WILL TURN OUT.

NOW, I'M NOT GOING TO PREDICT
HOW THIS SHOW WILL TURN OUT.
YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER HOSTED A TV

HOW THIS SHOW WILL TURN OUT.
YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER HOSTED A TV
SHOW BEFORE, AND I REALLY DON'T

YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER HOSTED A TV
SHOW BEFORE, AND I REALLY DON'T
HAVE THE BEST TRACK RECORD AS

SHOW BEFORE, AND I REALLY DON'T
HAVE THE BEST TRACK RECORD AS
FAR AS PREDICTIONS GO.

HAVE THE BEST TRACK RECORD AS
FAR AS PREDICTIONS GO.
BEFORE THE SUPER BOWL, I KIND OF

FAR AS PREDICTIONS GO.
BEFORE THE SUPER BOWL, I KIND OF
MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF.

BEFORE THE SUPER BOWL, I KIND OF
MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF.
I GOT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION AND

MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF.
I GOT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION AND
TOLD THE WHOLE WORLD THE VIKINGS

I GOT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION AND
TOLD THE WHOLE WORLD THE VIKINGS
WOULD DEFINITELY WIN THE GAME.

TOLD THE WHOLE WORLD THE VIKINGS
WOULD DEFINITELY WIN THE GAME.
AND, AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, WE

WOULD DEFINITELY WIN THE GAME.
AND, AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, WE
WERE NARROWLY DEFEATED...

AND, AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, WE
WERE NARROWLY DEFEATED...
[LAUGHTER]

WERE NARROWLY DEFEATED...
[LAUGHTER]
BY A VERY, VERY LUCKY OAKLAND

[LAUGHTER]
BY A VERY, VERY LUCKY OAKLAND
TEAM.

BY A VERY, VERY LUCKY OAKLAND
TEAM.
BUT BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER,

TEAM.
BUT BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER,
I'D LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT

BUT BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER,
I'D LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT
THE KIND OF PEOPLE THAT ARE HERE

I'D LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT
THE KIND OF PEOPLE THAT ARE HERE
ON "SATURDAY NIGHT."

THE KIND OF PEOPLE THAT ARE HERE
ON "SATURDAY NIGHT."
THEY ASKED ME TO DO THIS SHOW A

ON "SATURDAY NIGHT."
THEY ASKED ME TO DO THIS SHOW A
WEEK BEFORE THE SUPER BOWL.

THEY ASKED ME TO DO THIS SHOW A
WEEK BEFORE THE SUPER BOWL.
AND I THOUGHT IF WE LOST THE

WEEK BEFORE THE SUPER BOWL.
AND I THOUGHT IF WE LOST THE
GAME, "SATURDAY NIGHT" WOULD BE

AND I THOUGHT IF WE LOST THE
GAME, "SATURDAY NIGHT" WOULD BE
WELL WITHIN THEIR RIGHTS TO CALL

GAME, "SATURDAY NIGHT" WOULD BE
WELL WITHIN THEIR RIGHTS TO CALL
ME THE NEXT DAY AND CANCEL.

WELL WITHIN THEIR RIGHTS TO CALL
ME THE NEXT DAY AND CANCEL.
WELL, I WAS WRONG.

ME THE NEXT DAY AND CANCEL.
WELL, I WAS WRONG.
THEY CALLED ME AT HALFTIME.

WELL, I WAS WRONG.
THEY CALLED ME AT HALFTIME.
[LAUGHTER]

THEY CALLED ME AT HALFTIME.
[LAUGHTER]
NOW, I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW,

[LAUGHTER]
NOW, I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW,
ESPECIALLY YOU VIKING FANS

NOW, I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW,
ESPECIALLY YOU VIKING FANS
OUT THERE, THAT THE VIKINGS

ESPECIALLY YOU VIKING FANS
OUT THERE, THAT THE VIKINGS
AREN'T DEAD YET.

OUT THERE, THAT THE VIKINGS
AREN'T DEAD YET.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AREN'T DEAD YET.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE'RE A TEAM BUILT ON PRIDE AND

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
WE'RE A TEAM BUILT ON PRIDE AND
DISCIPLINE.

WE'RE A TEAM BUILT ON PRIDE AND
DISCIPLINE.
AND NEXT JULY, WE'RE GOING BACK

DISCIPLINE.
AND NEXT JULY, WE'RE GOING BACK
TO MANKATO, MINNESOTA.

AND NEXT JULY, WE'RE GOING BACK
TO MANKATO, MINNESOTA.
WE'RE GONNA WORK HARDER THAN

TO MANKATO, MINNESOTA.
WE'RE GONNA WORK HARDER THAN
EVER.

WE'RE GONNA WORK HARDER THAN
EVER.
WE'RE GONNA PUT ON THOSE BONNETS

EVER.
WE'RE GONNA PUT ON THOSE BONNETS
AND THOSE PURPLE JERSEYS AND

WE'RE GONNA PUT ON THOSE BONNETS
AND THOSE PURPLE JERSEYS AND
STRAP THOSE SHOULDER PADS ON.

AND THOSE PURPLE JERSEYS AND
STRAP THOSE SHOULDER PADS ON.
AND I GUARANTEE YOU THAT WE'LL

STRAP THOSE SHOULDER PADS ON.
AND I GUARANTEE YOU THAT WE'LL
BE IN THE SUPER BOWL NEXT

AND I GUARANTEE YOU THAT WE'LL
BE IN THE SUPER BOWL NEXT
SEASON.

BE IN THE SUPER BOWL NEXT
SEASON.
AND I PREDICT WE'LL LOSE AGAIN.

SEASON.
AND I PREDICT WE'LL LOSE AGAIN.
[APPLAUSE]

AND I PREDICT WE'LL LOSE AGAIN.
[APPLAUSE]
YOU KNOW, IN THE NFL, MOST

[APPLAUSE]
YOU KNOW, IN THE NFL, MOST
PLAYS ARE SENT IN TO THE

YOU KNOW, IN THE NFL, MOST
PLAYS ARE SENT IN TO THE
QUARTERBACK FROM THE SIDELINES,

PLAYS ARE SENT IN TO THE
QUARTERBACK FROM THE SIDELINES,
BUT I'M A LITTLE DIFFERENT.

QUARTERBACK FROM THE SIDELINES,
BUT I'M A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
I CALL MY OWN PLAYS, AND I'M

BUT I'M A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
I CALL MY OWN PLAYS, AND I'M
GONNA TRY TO DO THAT TONIGHT.

I CALL MY OWN PLAYS, AND I'M
GONNA TRY TO DO THAT TONIGHT.
SO, RIGHT NOW I'D LIKE TO SING A

GONNA TRY TO DO THAT TONIGHT.
SO, RIGHT NOW I'D LIKE TO SING A
SONG... A SONG THAT'S REALLY

SO, RIGHT NOW I'D LIKE TO SING A
SONG... A SONG THAT'S REALLY
VERY, VERY SPECIAL TO ME.

SONG... A SONG THAT'S REALLY
VERY, VERY SPECIAL TO ME.
AND HERE IT IS.

VERY, VERY SPECIAL TO ME.
AND HERE IT IS.
[INTRODUCTION TO "FEELINGS"

AND HERE IT IS.
[INTRODUCTION TO "FEELINGS"
PLAYS]

♪ FEELINGS ♪
♪ NOTHING MORE THAN FEELINGS ♪
♪ TRYING TO FORGET MY... ♪

♪ NOTHING MORE THAN FEELINGS ♪
♪ TRYING TO FORGET MY... ♪
WELL, YOU CAN'T HELP BUT

♪ TRYING TO FORGET MY... ♪
WELL, YOU CAN'T HELP BUT
WONDER IF MAYBE

WELL, YOU CAN'T HELP BUT
WONDER IF MAYBE
COACH JOHN BELUSHI HAS MADE A

WONDER IF MAYBE
COACH JOHN BELUSHI HAS MADE A
TECHNICAL ERROR TONIGHT LETTING

COACH JOHN BELUSHI HAS MADE A
TECHNICAL ERROR TONIGHT LETTING
FRAN TARKENTON TRY HIS LUCK AS A

TECHNICAL ERROR TONIGHT LETTING
FRAN TARKENTON TRY HIS LUCK AS A
SINGER.

FRAN TARKENTON TRY HIS LUCK AS A
SINGER.
DON'T GET ME WRONG.

SINGER.
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
I'M NOT BAD-RAPPING TARK, BUT

DON'T GET ME WRONG.
I'M NOT BAD-RAPPING TARK, BUT
YOU JUST CAN'T EXPECT A GUY

I'M NOT BAD-RAPPING TARK, BUT
YOU JUST CAN'T EXPECT A GUY
WHO'S PASSED FOR OVER 25,000

YOU JUST CAN'T EXPECT A GUY
WHO'S PASSED FOR OVER 25,000
YARDS AND 300 TOUCHDOWNS TO BE

WHO'S PASSED FOR OVER 25,000
YARDS AND 300 TOUCHDOWNS TO BE
ABLE TO PULL OFF A DRAMATIC

YARDS AND 300 TOUCHDOWNS TO BE
ABLE TO PULL OFF A DRAMATIC
BALLAD.

ABLE TO PULL OFF A DRAMATIC
BALLAD.
NOW, I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S MY

BALLAD.
NOW, I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S MY
OPINION.

NOW, I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S MY
OPINION.
NOW, I SEE THAT BELUSHI IS

OPINION.
NOW, I SEE THAT BELUSHI IS
SENDING IN A PLAY WITH

NOW, I SEE THAT BELUSHI IS
SENDING IN A PLAY WITH
GARRETT MORRIS, THE TALENTED

SENDING IN A PLAY WITH
GARRETT MORRIS, THE TALENTED
RUNNING BACK OUT OF

GARRETT MORRIS, THE TALENTED
RUNNING BACK OUT OF
JULIUS ERVING HIGH SCHOOL HERE.

RUNNING BACK OUT OF
JULIUS ERVING HIGH SCHOOL HERE.
AND I WONDER MAYBE IF WE CAN GET

JULIUS ERVING HIGH SCHOOL HERE.
AND I WONDER MAYBE IF WE CAN GET
OUR STATISTICIAN BOBBY VAN RYE

AND I WONDER MAYBE IF WE CAN GET
OUR STATISTICIAN BOBBY VAN RYE
TO FIND OUT HOW MANY MILES

OUR STATISTICIAN BOBBY VAN RYE
TO FIND OUT HOW MANY MILES
25,000 YARDS ADDS UP TO.

TO FIND OUT HOW MANY MILES
25,000 YARDS ADDS UP TO.
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE GARRETT'S

25,000 YARDS ADDS UP TO.
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE GARRETT'S
GONNA MAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE GARRETT'S
GONNA MAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A
CHANGE HERE.

GONNA MAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A
CHANGE HERE.
BACK TO THE ACTION HERE FOR A

CHANGE HERE.
BACK TO THE ACTION HERE FOR A
SECOND.

BACK TO THE ACTION HERE FOR A
SECOND.
LOOK, I KNOW YOU.

SECOND.
LOOK, I KNOW YOU.
I KNOW YOU'RE AT YOUR PEAK,

LOOK, I KNOW YOU.
I KNOW YOU'RE AT YOUR PEAK,
BABY.

I KNOW YOU'RE AT YOUR PEAK,
BABY.
BUT THE COACH WANTS TO TALK TO

BABY.
BUT THE COACH WANTS TO TALK TO
YOU.

BUT THE COACH WANTS TO TALK TO
YOU.
♪ FEELINGS ♪

YOU.
♪ FEELINGS ♪
♪ WH-O-O-OA, FEELINGS ♪

♪ FEELINGS ♪
♪ WH-O-O-OA, FEELINGS ♪
♪ WH-O-OA, FEELINGS ♪

♪ WH-O-O-OA, FEELINGS ♪
♪ WH-O-OA, FEELINGS ♪
♪ AGAIN IN MY ARMS ♪

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I BET YOU'RE TIRED OF
SEARCHING FOR THE BEST
MULTIPURPOSE PORTABLE FISH TOOL.

SEARCHING FOR THE BEST
MULTIPURPOSE PORTABLE FISH TOOL.
THERE CERTAINLY ARE A LOT OF

MULTIPURPOSE PORTABLE FISH TOOL.
THERE CERTAINLY ARE A LOT OF
THEM ON THE MARKET.

THERE CERTAINLY ARE A LOT OF
THEM ON THE MARKET.
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO FIND ONE

THEM ON THE MARKET.
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO FIND ONE
THAT NOT ONLY CUTS AND SCALES

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO FIND ONE
THAT NOT ONLY CUTS AND SCALES
FISH BUT ALSO OFFERS YOU

THAT NOT ONLY CUTS AND SCALES
FISH BUT ALSO OFFERS YOU
PERSONAL PROTECTION IN YOUR

FISH BUT ALSO OFFERS YOU
PERSONAL PROTECTION IN YOUR
HOME, OFFICE, OR CAR?

PERSONAL PROTECTION IN YOUR
HOME, OFFICE, OR CAR?
COULDN'T YOU USE A MULTIPURPOSE

HOME, OFFICE, OR CAR?
COULDN'T YOU USE A MULTIPURPOSE
FISHING TOOL THAT ENSURES THE

COULDN'T YOU USE A MULTIPURPOSE
FISHING TOOL THAT ENSURES THE
SAFETY OF YOUR FAMILY AND

FISHING TOOL THAT ENSURES THE
SAFETY OF YOUR FAMILY AND
GUARANTEES THAT YOU'LL GET YOUR

SAFETY OF YOUR FAMILY AND
GUARANTEES THAT YOU'LL GET YOUR
LIMIT ON ELK, DEER, AND MOOSE ON

GUARANTEES THAT YOU'LL GET YOUR
LIMIT ON ELK, DEER, AND MOOSE ON
YOUR NEXT HUNTING TRIP?

LIMIT ON ELK, DEER, AND MOOSE ON
YOUR NEXT HUNTING TRIP?
SOUNDS INCREDIBLE, DOESN'T IT?

YOUR NEXT HUNTING TRIP?
SOUNDS INCREDIBLE, DOESN'T IT?
WELL, NOW, FOR A LIMITED TIME

SOUNDS INCREDIBLE, DOESN'T IT?
WELL, NOW, FOR A LIMITED TIME
ONLY, ROVCO OFFERS THE ULTIMATE

WELL, NOW, FOR A LIMITED TIME
ONLY, ROVCO OFFERS THE ULTIMATE
FISHING TOOL THAT DOES ALL THIS

ONLY, ROVCO OFFERS THE ULTIMATE
FISHING TOOL THAT DOES ALL THIS
IN ONE MULTIPLE INDEPENDENT

FISHING TOOL THAT DOES ALL THIS
IN ONE MULTIPLE INDEPENDENT
UNIT.

IN ONE MULTIPLE INDEPENDENT
UNIT.
FROM SWITZERLAND, IT'S ROVCO'S

UNIT.
FROM SWITZERLAND, IT'S ROVCO'S
AMAZING NEW SWISS ARMY GUN.

FROM SWITZERLAND, IT'S ROVCO'S
AMAZING NEW SWISS ARMY GUN.
YES, IT'S THE ALL-PURPOSE

AMAZING NEW SWISS ARMY GUN.
YES, IT'S THE ALL-PURPOSE
SURVIVAL TOOL THAT HAS

YES, IT'S THE ALL-PURPOSE
SURVIVAL TOOL THAT HAS
GUARANTEED SWITZERLAND'S

SURVIVAL TOOL THAT HAS
GUARANTEED SWITZERLAND'S
NEUTRALITY FOR DECADES, NOW

GUARANTEED SWITZERLAND'S
NEUTRALITY FOR DECADES, NOW
AVAILABLE IN AMERICA FOR A

NEUTRALITY FOR DECADES, NOW
AVAILABLE IN AMERICA FOR A
FRACTION OF ITS ORIGINAL COST.

AVAILABLE IN AMERICA FOR A
FRACTION OF ITS ORIGINAL COST.
YOU GET FISH SCALER AND HOOK

FRACTION OF ITS ORIGINAL COST.
YOU GET FISH SCALER AND HOOK
REMOVER, ALL-STEEL HUNTING

YOU GET FISH SCALER AND HOOK
REMOVER, ALL-STEEL HUNTING
KNIFE, CAN OPENER, AND

REMOVER, ALL-STEEL HUNTING
KNIFE, CAN OPENER, AND
SCREWDRIVER AS WELL AS A

KNIFE, CAN OPENER, AND
SCREWDRIVER AS WELL AS A
CORKSCREW, A NAIL FILE, AND A

SCREWDRIVER AS WELL AS A
CORKSCREW, A NAIL FILE, AND A
UTILITY BLADE.

CORKSCREW, A NAIL FILE, AND A
UTILITY BLADE.
PLUS, YES, A .38-CALIBER

UTILITY BLADE.
PLUS, YES, A .38-CALIBER
REVOLVER AND A SEMIAUTOMATIC

PLUS, YES, A .38-CALIBER
REVOLVER AND A SEMIAUTOMATIC
CARBINE WITH 30 ROUNDS OF

REVOLVER AND A SEMIAUTOMATIC
CARBINE WITH 30 ROUNDS OF
AMMUNITION.

CARBINE WITH 30 ROUNDS OF
AMMUNITION.
ISN'T THAT AMAZING?

AMMUNITION.
ISN'T THAT AMAZING?
AND ALSO A ROCKET LAUNCHER WITH

ISN'T THAT AMAZING?
AND ALSO A ROCKET LAUNCHER WITH
INCENDIARY GRENADE.

AND ALSO A ROCKET LAUNCHER WITH
INCENDIARY GRENADE.
YES, AND IT REALLY, REALLY

INCENDIARY GRENADE.
YES, AND IT REALLY, REALLY
WORKS IN THE HOME, OFFICE, OR

YES, AND IT REALLY, REALLY
WORKS IN THE HOME, OFFICE, OR
CAR.

WORKS IN THE HOME, OFFICE, OR
CAR.
AND WHAT SWISS ARMY GUN WOULD BE

CAR.
AND WHAT SWISS ARMY GUN WOULD BE
COMPLETE WITHOUT A GENUINE IVORY

AND WHAT SWISS ARMY GUN WOULD BE
COMPLETE WITHOUT A GENUINE IVORY
TOOTHPICK?

COMPLETE WITHOUT A GENUINE IVORY
TOOTHPICK?
YES, THAT TRULY IS AMAZING.

TOOTHPICK?
YES, THAT TRULY IS AMAZING.
A MULTIPURPOSE TOOL THE WHOLE

YES, THAT TRULY IS AMAZING.
A MULTIPURPOSE TOOL THE WHOLE
FAMILY CAN DEPEND UPON.

A MULTIPURPOSE TOOL THE WHOLE
FAMILY CAN DEPEND UPON.
AND IF YOU ORDER NOW, YOU GET A

FAMILY CAN DEPEND UPON.
AND IF YOU ORDER NOW, YOU GET A
MANUAL ON ALPINE FIGHTING AND

AND IF YOU ORDER NOW, YOU GET A
MANUAL ON ALPINE FIGHTING AND
URBAN WARFARE.

MANUAL ON ALPINE FIGHTING AND
URBAN WARFARE.
THE SWISS ARMY GUN.

URBAN WARFARE.
THE SWISS ARMY GUN.
YOU'LL NEVER OWN A BETTER

THE SWISS ARMY GUN.
YOU'LL NEVER OWN A BETTER
FISHING TOOL.

YOU'LL NEVER OWN A BETTER
FISHING TOOL.
ORDER NOW WHILE SUPPLIES LAST.

Announcer: SEND $359 TO...

FEDERAL LAW PROHIBITS SALES OF

MORE THAN ONE PER FAMILY.

ALL RIGHT, CLASS, IS EVERYONE
READY FOR OUR MORNING QUIZ?
All: YES, MISS BRANCHETTE!

READY FOR OUR MORNING QUIZ?
All: YES, MISS BRANCHETTE!
GOOD.

HELLO, AMY. YOU'RE LATE AGAIN.
TAKE YOUR SEAT, AMY.
SORRY.

TAKE YOUR SEAT, AMY.
SORRY.
THE LIMOUSINE GOT STUCK IN

SORRY.
THE LIMOUSINE GOT STUCK IN
TRAFFIC.

THE LIMOUSINE GOT STUCK IN
TRAFFIC.
YOU COULD HAVE USED YOUR

TRAFFIC.
YOU COULD HAVE USED YOUR
FLASHERS.

YOU COULD HAVE USED YOUR
FLASHERS.
NOW...

FLASHERS.
NOW...
SETTLE DOWN, BOYS.

NOW...
SETTLE DOWN, BOYS.
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN AMERICAN

SETTLE DOWN, BOYS.
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN AMERICAN
HISTORY QUIZ THIS MORNING.

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE AN AMERICAN
HISTORY QUIZ THIS MORNING.
NOW, WHO WOULD LIKE TO TELL ME

HISTORY QUIZ THIS MORNING.
NOW, WHO WOULD LIKE TO TELL ME
WHY WE HAVE QUIZZES?

NOW, WHO WOULD LIKE TO TELL ME
WHY WE HAVE QUIZZES?
PICK ME!

WHY WE HAVE QUIZZES?
PICK ME!
PICK ME, MISS BRANCHETTE!

PICK ME!
PICK ME, MISS BRANCHETTE!
ALL RIGHT, HEATHER THURMAN.

PICK ME, MISS BRANCHETTE!
ALL RIGHT, HEATHER THURMAN.
YOU TELL US.

ALL RIGHT, HEATHER THURMAN.
YOU TELL US.
WE TAKE QUIZZES TO SHOW WHAT

YOU TELL US.
WE TAKE QUIZZES TO SHOW WHAT
WE KNOW, NOT WHAT WE DON'T KNOW.

WE TAKE QUIZZES TO SHOW WHAT
WE KNOW, NOT WHAT WE DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S RIGHT.

WE KNOW, NOT WHAT WE DON'T KNOW.
THAT'S RIGHT.
YES, THAT'S VERY GOOD.

THAT'S RIGHT.
YES, THAT'S VERY GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, PUPILS, TABLETS

YES, THAT'S VERY GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, PUPILS, TABLETS
READY.

ALL RIGHT, PUPILS, TABLETS
READY.
NOW, IN YOUR BEST PENMANSHIP,

READY.
NOW, IN YOUR BEST PENMANSHIP,
WRITE DOWN THE ANSWERS TO THESE

NOW, IN YOUR BEST PENMANSHIP,
WRITE DOWN THE ANSWERS TO THESE
QUESTIONS.

WRITE DOWN THE ANSWERS TO THESE
QUESTIONS.
ALL RIGHT.

QUESTIONS.
ALL RIGHT.
WHO IS OUR NEW PRESIDENT?

ALL RIGHT.
WHO IS OUR NEW PRESIDENT?
[CHUCKLES]

WHO IS OUR NEW PRESIDENT?
[CHUCKLES]
SHE SHOULD GET THAT ONE.

[CHUCKLES]
SHE SHOULD GET THAT ONE.
YEAH.

SHE SHOULD GET THAT ONE.
YEAH.
OKAY, NOW, WHO WAS OUR FIRST

YEAH.
OKAY, NOW, WHO WAS OUR FIRST
PRESIDENT?

OKAY, NOW, WHO WAS OUR FIRST
PRESIDENT?
WHO WAS THE PRESIDENT DURING THE

PRESIDENT?
WHO WAS THE PRESIDENT DURING THE
CIVIL WAR?

WHO WAS THE PRESIDENT DURING THE
CIVIL WAR?
Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln.

CIVIL WAR?
Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln.
I KNOW IT.

Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln.
I KNOW IT.
OKAY, WHO WAS THE PRESIDENT

I KNOW IT.
OKAY, WHO WAS THE PRESIDENT
DURING THE WAR OF 1812?

OKAY, WHO WAS THE PRESIDENT
DURING THE WAR OF 1812?
Madison. James Madison.

DURING THE WAR OF 1812?
Madison. James Madison.
ALL RIGHT.

Madison. James Madison.
ALL RIGHT.
WHY DID THE PILGRIMS COME TO

ALL RIGHT.
WHY DID THE PILGRIMS COME TO
AMERICA?

WHY DID THE PILGRIMS COME TO
AMERICA?
The Pilgrims... came to

AMERICA?
The Pilgrims... came to
America... to escape... religious

The Pilgrims... came to
America... to escape... religious
persecution.

America... to escape... religious
persecution.
S-E-C-U-T-I-O-N.

Persecution.
S-E-C-U-T-I-O-N.
MISS BRANCHETTE,

S-E-C-U-T-I-O-N.
MISS BRANCHETTE,
MISS BRANCHETTE!

MISS BRANCHETTE,
MISS BRANCHETTE!
AMY'S CHEATING!

MISS BRANCHETTE!
AMY'S CHEATING!
I AM NOT!

AMY'S CHEATING!
I AM NOT!
YOU ARE, TOO!

I AM NOT!
YOU ARE, TOO!
I AM NOT!

YOU ARE, TOO!
I AM NOT!
YOU ARE, TOO! YOU ARE...

I AM NOT!
YOU ARE, TOO! YOU ARE...
ERNIE! ROB! ERNIE! ERNIE!

YOU ARE, TOO! YOU ARE...
ERNIE! ROB! ERNIE! ERNIE!
ROB!

ERNIE! ROB! ERNIE! ERNIE!
ROB!
STOP! STOP, STOP, STOP!

ROB!
STOP! STOP, STOP, STOP!
STOP.

STOP! STOP, STOP, STOP!
STOP.
SORRY, MISS BRANCHETTE, IT

STOP.
SORRY, MISS BRANCHETTE, IT
WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

SORRY, MISS BRANCHETTE, IT
WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
WELL, JUST SEE THAT IT

WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
WELL, JUST SEE THAT IT
DOESN'T.

WELL, JUST SEE THAT IT
DOESN'T.
SETTLE DOWN, HEATHER.

DOESN'T.
SETTLE DOWN, HEATHER.
ALL RIGHT, NEXT QUESTION... AND

SETTLE DOWN, HEATHER.
ALL RIGHT, NEXT QUESTION... AND
NO COPYING THIS TIME.

ALL RIGHT, NEXT QUESTION... AND
NO COPYING THIS TIME.
COMPARE AND CONTRAST THE

NO COPYING THIS TIME.
COMPARE AND CONTRAST THE
JEFFERSONIAN AND JACKSONIAN

COMPARE AND CONTRAST THE
JEFFERSONIAN AND JACKSONIAN
DEMOCRACY IN RELATION TO THE

JEFFERSONIAN AND JACKSONIAN
DEMOCRACY IN RELATION TO THE
REFORMIST MOVEMENT OF 1834.

I DON'T REALLY KNOW THAT
ONE.
NO.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON.

ALL RIGHT.
COME ON.
COME ON! HE'S GOT IT! GOT IT!

COME ON.
COME ON! HE'S GOT IT! GOT IT!
OKAY, HE'S OPEN! HE'S OPEN!

COME ON! HE'S GOT IT! GOT IT!
OKAY, HE'S OPEN! HE'S OPEN!
GO! GO!

OKAY, HE'S OPEN! HE'S OPEN!
GO! GO!
GO, GO, GO!

GO! GO!
GO, GO, GO!
OH, GOD! HE DROPPED THE BALL!

GO, GO, GO!
OH, GOD! HE DROPPED THE BALL!
OH, GOD! I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

OH, GOD! HE DROPPED THE BALL!
OH, GOD! I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
DEFENSE, GET IN THERE.

OH, GOD! I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
DEFENSE, GET IN THERE.
GET IN THERE. DEFENSE.

DEFENSE, GET IN THERE.
GET IN THERE. DEFENSE.
MOVE, MOVE! GET THAT BALL.

GET IN THERE. DEFENSE.
MOVE, MOVE! GET THAT BALL.
GET THAT BALL.

MOVE, MOVE! GET THAT BALL.
GET THAT BALL.
WHERE'S CHAMBERS?

GET THAT BALL.
WHERE'S CHAMBERS?
CHAMBERS, GET OVER HERE!

WHERE'S CHAMBERS?
CHAMBERS, GET OVER HERE!
CHAMBERS!

CHAMBERS, GET OVER HERE!
CHAMBERS!
CHAMBERS, WHAT'S GOING ON OUT

CHAMBERS!
CHAMBERS, WHAT'S GOING ON OUT
THERE, CHAMBERS?

CHAMBERS, WHAT'S GOING ON OUT
THERE, CHAMBERS?
YOU'RE THE BEST HALFBACK WE'VE

THERE, CHAMBERS?
YOU'RE THE BEST HALFBACK WE'VE
GOT.

YOU'RE THE BEST HALFBACK WE'VE
GOT.
YOU WERE WIDE OPEN AND SOME GUY

GOT.
YOU WERE WIDE OPEN AND SOME GUY
PULLS AN ARM TACKLE ON YOU AND

YOU WERE WIDE OPEN AND SOME GUY
PULLS AN ARM TACKLE ON YOU AND
YOU FUMBLE THE BALL.

PULLS AN ARM TACKLE ON YOU AND
YOU FUMBLE THE BALL.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

YOU FUMBLE THE BALL.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WHAT HAPPENED?

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT HAPPENED?
I DON'T KNOW.
I SAW DAYLIGHT, AND I WAS GOING

I DON'T KNOW.
I SAW DAYLIGHT, AND I WAS GOING
THROUGH, COACH.

I SAW DAYLIGHT, AND I WAS GOING
THROUGH, COACH.
AND THIS GUY GRABBED MY ARM AND

THROUGH, COACH.
AND THIS GUY GRABBED MY ARM AND
TORE MY ARM OFF AND I FUMBLED

AND THIS GUY GRABBED MY ARM AND
TORE MY ARM OFF AND I FUMBLED
THE BALL.

TORE MY ARM OFF AND I FUMBLED
THE BALL.
WHAT?

THE BALL.
WHAT?
HE TORE MY ARM OFF!

WHAT?
HE TORE MY ARM OFF!
SO, IT'S A LITTLE INJURY, IS

HE TORE MY ARM OFF!
SO, IT'S A LITTLE INJURY, IS
IT?

SO, IT'S A LITTLE INJURY, IS
IT?
YOU CAN'T PLAY HURT.

IT?
YOU CAN'T PLAY HURT.
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO

YOU CAN'T PLAY HURT.
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO
TELL ME, YOU CREAM PUFF?

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO
TELL ME, YOU CREAM PUFF?
YOU CAN'T PLAY HURT, CHAMBERS.

TELL ME, YOU CREAM PUFF?
YOU CAN'T PLAY HURT, CHAMBERS.
WELL, THIS IS A CHAMPIONSHIP

YOU CAN'T PLAY HURT, CHAMBERS.
WELL, THIS IS A CHAMPIONSHIP
GAME.

WELL, THIS IS A CHAMPIONSHIP
GAME.
HEY, MAN, IS THIS YOURS?

GAME.
HEY, MAN, IS THIS YOURS?
YEAH.

HEY, MAN, IS THIS YOURS?
YEAH.
IS THIS THE ARM, CHAMBERS?

YEAH.
IS THIS THE ARM, CHAMBERS?
YEAH, THAT'S IT.

IS THIS THE ARM, CHAMBERS?
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
IT LOOKS FINE TO ME.

YEAH, THAT'S IT.
IT LOOKS FINE TO ME.
LET'S TAPE IT UP. COME ON.

IT LOOKS FINE TO ME.
LET'S TAPE IT UP. COME ON.
GET IT UP HERE.

LET'S TAPE IT UP. COME ON.
GET IT UP HERE.
TAPE IT UP.

GET IT UP HERE.
TAPE IT UP.
NOW, REMEMBER, CHAMBERS, JUST

TAPE IT UP.
NOW, REMEMBER, CHAMBERS, JUST
TUCK THE BALL, ALL RIGHT?

NOW, REMEMBER, CHAMBERS, JUST
TUCK THE BALL, ALL RIGHT?
JUST TUCK THE BALL.

TUCK THE BALL, ALL RIGHT?
JUST TUCK THE BALL.
GET THAT TAPE UP THERE. COME ON.

JUST TUCK THE BALL.
GET THAT TAPE UP THERE. COME ON.
COME ON.

GET THAT TAPE UP THERE. COME ON.
COME ON.
NOW, RUN.

COME ON.
NOW, RUN.
WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE

NOW, RUN.
WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE
TOUGH GET WEAK... NO, THE TOUGH

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE
TOUGH GET WEAK... NO, THE TOUGH
GET HURT... THE TOUGH GET GOING.

TOUGH GET WEAK... NO, THE TOUGH
GET HURT... THE TOUGH GET GOING.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

GET HURT... THE TOUGH GET GOING.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
GET THAT TAPE UP THERE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
GET THAT TAPE UP THERE.
OKAY, IT'S IN. OKAY, IT'S FINE.

GET THAT TAPE UP THERE.
OKAY, IT'S IN. OKAY, IT'S FINE.
WHEN YOU PLAY WITH PAIN, YOU

OKAY, IT'S IN. OKAY, IT'S FINE.
WHEN YOU PLAY WITH PAIN, YOU
PLAY WELL, ALL RIGHT?

WHEN YOU PLAY WITH PAIN, YOU
PLAY WELL, ALL RIGHT?
OKAY, GET OUT THERE.

PLAY WELL, ALL RIGHT?
OKAY, GET OUT THERE.
WHAT IF I PERMANENTLY DAMAGE

OKAY, GET OUT THERE.
WHAT IF I PERMANENTLY DAMAGE
THE ARM?

WHAT IF I PERMANENTLY DAMAGE
THE ARM?
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

THE ARM?
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU CAN ALWAYS BE A PLACE

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU CAN ALWAYS BE A PLACE
KICKER.

YOU CAN ALWAYS BE A PLACE
KICKER.
MOVE! GET OUT THERE!

KICKER.
MOVE! GET OUT THERE!
GET OUT THERE!

MOVE! GET OUT THERE!
GET OUT THERE!
TARKENTON, MOVE OUT THERE.

GET OUT THERE!
TARKENTON, MOVE OUT THERE.
COME ON. LET'S GO.

TARKENTON, MOVE OUT THERE.
COME ON. LET'S GO.
DO THE INTROS. LET'S GO.

COME ON. LET'S GO.
DO THE INTROS. LET'S GO.
MAKE IT HAPPEN.

DO THE INTROS. LET'S GO.
MAKE IT HAPPEN.
MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN.

MAKE IT HAPPEN.
MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
LEO SAYER.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
LEO SAYER.
[APPLAUSE]

LEO SAYER.
[APPLAUSE]
[INTRODUCTION TO

[APPLAUSE]
[INTRODUCTION TO
"WHEN I NEED YOU" PLAYS]

♪ WHEN I NEED YOU, I JUST
CLOSE MY EYES AND I'M WITH YOU ♪
♪ AND ALL THAT I SO WANT TO GIVE

CLOSE MY EYES AND I'M WITH YOU ♪
♪ AND ALL THAT I SO WANT TO GIVE
YOU ♪

♪ AND ALL THAT I SO WANT TO GIVE
YOU ♪
♪ IT'S ONLY A HEARTBEAT AWAY ♪

YOU ♪
♪ IT'S ONLY A HEARTBEAT AWAY ♪
♪ WHEN I NEED LOVE, I HOLD OUT

♪ IT'S ONLY A HEARTBEAT AWAY ♪
♪ WHEN I NEED LOVE, I HOLD OUT
MY HANDS, AND I TOUCH LOVE ♪

♪ WHEN I NEED LOVE, I HOLD OUT
MY HANDS, AND I TOUCH LOVE ♪
♪ I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS

MY HANDS, AND I TOUCH LOVE ♪
♪ I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS
SO MUCH LOVE ♪

♪ I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS
SO MUCH LOVE ♪
♪ KEEPING ME WARM

SO MUCH LOVE ♪
♪ KEEPING ME WARM
NIGHT AND DAY ♪

♪ KEEPING ME WARM
NIGHT AND DAY ♪
♪ MILES AND MILES OF EMPTY SPACE

NIGHT AND DAY ♪
♪ MILES AND MILES OF EMPTY SPACE
IN BETWEEN US ♪

♪ MILES AND MILES OF EMPTY SPACE
IN BETWEEN US ♪
♪ A TELEPHONE CAN'T TAKE THE

IN BETWEEN US ♪
♪ A TELEPHONE CAN'T TAKE THE
PLACE OF YOUR SMILE ♪

♪ A TELEPHONE CAN'T TAKE THE
PLACE OF YOUR SMILE ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW I WON'T BE

PLACE OF YOUR SMILE ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW I WON'T BE
TRAVELING FOREVER ♪

♪ BUT YOU KNOW I WON'T BE
TRAVELING FOREVER ♪
♪ IT'S COLD OUT, BUT HOLD OUT ♪

TRAVELING FOREVER ♪
♪ IT'S COLD OUT, BUT HOLD OUT ♪
♪ AND DO LIKE I DO ♪

♪ IT'S COLD OUT, BUT HOLD OUT ♪
♪ AND DO LIKE I DO ♪
♪ WHEN I NEED YOU, I JUST CLOSE

♪ AND DO LIKE I DO ♪
♪ WHEN I NEED YOU, I JUST CLOSE
MY EYES AND I'M WITH YOU ♪

♪ WHEN I NEED YOU, I JUST CLOSE
MY EYES AND I'M WITH YOU ♪
♪ AND ALL THAT I SO WANT TO GIVE

MY EYES AND I'M WITH YOU ♪
♪ AND ALL THAT I SO WANT TO GIVE
YOU, BABE ♪

♪ AND ALL THAT I SO WANT TO GIVE
YOU, BABE ♪
♪ IT'S ONLY A HEARTBEAT AWAY ♪

YOU, BABE ♪
♪ IT'S ONLY A HEARTBEAT AWAY ♪
♪ IT'S NOT EASY WHEN THE ROAD IS

♪ IT'S ONLY A HEARTBEAT AWAY ♪
♪ IT'S NOT EASY WHEN THE ROAD IS
YOUR DRIVER ♪

♪ IT'S NOT EASY WHEN THE ROAD IS
YOUR DRIVER ♪
♪ HONEY, THAT'S A HEAVY LOAD

YOUR DRIVER ♪
♪ HONEY, THAT'S A HEAVY LOAD
THAT WE BEAR ♪

♪ HONEY, THAT'S A HEAVY LOAD
THAT WE BEAR ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW I WON'T BE

THAT WE BEAR ♪
♪ BUT YOU KNOW I WON'T BE
TRAVELING A LIFETIME ♪

♪ BUT YOU KNOW I WON'T BE
TRAVELING A LIFETIME ♪
♪ IT'S COLD OUT, BUT HOLD OUT ♪

TRAVELING A LIFETIME ♪
♪ IT'S COLD OUT, BUT HOLD OUT ♪
♪ AND DO LIKE I DO ♪

♪ IT'S COLD OUT, BUT HOLD OUT ♪
♪ AND DO LIKE I DO ♪
♪ OH, I NEED YOU ♪

♪ AND DO LIKE I DO ♪
♪ OH, I NEED YOU ♪
[SAXOPHONE SOLO]

♪ WHEN I NEED LOVE, I HOLD OUT
MY HANDS, AND I TOUCH LOVE ♪
♪ I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS

MY HANDS, AND I TOUCH LOVE ♪
♪ I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS
SO MUCH LOVE ♪

♪ I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS
SO MUCH LOVE ♪
♪ KEEPING ME WARM

SO MUCH LOVE ♪
♪ KEEPING ME WARM
NIGHT AND DAY ♪

♪ KEEPING ME WARM
NIGHT AND DAY ♪
♪ WHEN I NEED YOU,

NIGHT AND DAY ♪
♪ WHEN I NEED YOU,
I JUST CLOSE MY E-E-E-EYES ♪

♪ WHEN I NEED YOU,
I JUST CLOSE MY E-E-E-EYES ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE RIGHT HERE

I JUST CLOSE MY E-E-E-EYES ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE RIGHT HERE
BY MY SIDE ♪

♪ AND YOU'RE RIGHT HERE
BY MY SIDE ♪
♪ KEEPING ME WARM

BY MY SIDE ♪
♪ KEEPING ME WARM
NIGHT AND DAY ♪

♪ KEEPING ME WARM
NIGHT AND DAY ♪
♪ I JUST HOLD OUT MY HANDS ♪

NIGHT AND DAY ♪
♪ I JUST HOLD OUT MY HANDS ♪
♪ I JUST HOLD OUT MY HANDS ♪

♪ I JUST HOLD OUT MY HANDS ♪
♪ I JUST HOLD OUT MY HANDS ♪
♪ AND I'M WITH YOU, DARLIN' ♪

♪ I JUST HOLD OUT MY HANDS ♪
♪ AND I'M WITH YOU, DARLIN' ♪
♪ YES, I'M WITH YOU, DARLIN' ♪

♪ AND I'M WITH YOU, DARLIN' ♪
♪ YES, I'M WITH YOU, DARLIN' ♪
♪ ALL I WANT TO GIVE YOU ♪

♪ YES, I'M WITH YOU, DARLIN' ♪
♪ ALL I WANT TO GIVE YOU ♪
♪ IT'S ONLY A HEARTBEAT AWAY ♪

♪ ALL I WANT TO GIVE YOU ♪
♪ IT'S ONLY A HEARTBEAT AWAY ♪
♪ WHEN I NEED YOU ♪

♪ IT'S ONLY A HEARTBEAT AWAY ♪
♪ WHEN I NEED YOU ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

GOOD EVENING, AND WELCOME TO
"BLACK PERSPECTIVE."
I'M YOUR HOST, GARRETT MORRIS.

"BLACK PERSPECTIVE."
I'M YOUR HOST, GARRETT MORRIS.
TONIGHT'S DISCUSSION CONCERNS

I'M YOUR HOST, GARRETT MORRIS.
TONIGHT'S DISCUSSION CONCERNS
THE BLACK ATHLETE IN PRO

TONIGHT'S DISCUSSION CONCERNS
THE BLACK ATHLETE IN PRO
FOOTBALL.

THE BLACK ATHLETE IN PRO
FOOTBALL.
AND OUR GUEST IS THE LEGENDARY

FOOTBALL.
AND OUR GUEST IS THE LEGENDARY
QUARTERBACK OF THE MINNESOTA

AND OUR GUEST IS THE LEGENDARY
QUARTERBACK OF THE MINNESOTA
VIKINGS, FRAN TARKENTON.

QUARTERBACK OF THE MINNESOTA
VIKINGS, FRAN TARKENTON.
WELCOME, FRAN.

VIKINGS, FRAN TARKENTON.
WELCOME, FRAN.
WELL, THANK YOU.

WELCOME, FRAN.
WELL, THANK YOU.
IT'S NICE TO BE HERE.

WELL, THANK YOU.
IT'S NICE TO BE HERE.
YEAH, FRAN, ASIDE FROM YOUR

IT'S NICE TO BE HERE.
YEAH, FRAN, ASIDE FROM YOUR
FABULOUS CAREER ON THE FIELD,

YEAH, FRAN, ASIDE FROM YOUR
FABULOUS CAREER ON THE FIELD,
YOU ARE ALSO A MEMBER OF THE

FABULOUS CAREER ON THE FIELD,
YOU ARE ALSO A MEMBER OF THE
NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE'S

YOU ARE ALSO A MEMBER OF THE
NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE'S
COMMITTEE ON RACE RELATIONS.

NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE'S
COMMITTEE ON RACE RELATIONS.
WELL, THAT'S TRUE, GARRETT.

COMMITTEE ON RACE RELATIONS.
WELL, THAT'S TRUE, GARRETT.
I'VE BEEN THE CHAIRMAN SINCE

WELL, THAT'S TRUE, GARRETT.
I'VE BEEN THE CHAIRMAN SINCE
1971.

I'VE BEEN THE CHAIRMAN SINCE
1971.
YEAH, YOU HAVE BEEN QUOTED AS

1971.
YEAH, YOU HAVE BEEN QUOTED AS
SAYING THAT FOOTBALL IS REALLY

YEAH, YOU HAVE BEEN QUOTED AS
SAYING THAT FOOTBALL IS REALLY
BROTHERHOOD IN ACTION, MAN.

SAYING THAT FOOTBALL IS REALLY
BROTHERHOOD IN ACTION, MAN.
WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?

BROTHERHOOD IN ACTION, MAN.
WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?
WELL, YOU KNOW, A FOOTBALL

WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?
WELL, YOU KNOW, A FOOTBALL
TEAM IS A FAMILY, A FAMILY UNIT

WELL, YOU KNOW, A FOOTBALL
TEAM IS A FAMILY, A FAMILY UNIT
CONSISTING OF 40 MEN LIVING AND

TEAM IS A FAMILY, A FAMILY UNIT
CONSISTING OF 40 MEN LIVING AND
WORKING TOGETHER TOWARD A

CONSISTING OF 40 MEN LIVING AND
WORKING TOGETHER TOWARD A
GOAL... WINNING.

WORKING TOGETHER TOWARD A
GOAL... WINNING.
AND IT'S THE FAMILY THAT COUNTS.

GOAL... WINNING.
AND IT'S THE FAMILY THAT COUNTS.
THE ONLY COLOR THAT EXISTS IS

AND IT'S THE FAMILY THAT COUNTS.
THE ONLY COLOR THAT EXISTS IS
THE COLOR OF A PLAYER'S JERSEY.

THE ONLY COLOR THAT EXISTS IS
THE COLOR OF A PLAYER'S JERSEY.
WELL, TIMES CERTAINLY HAVE

THE COLOR OF A PLAYER'S JERSEY.
WELL, TIMES CERTAINLY HAVE
CHANGED, FRAN.

WELL, TIMES CERTAINLY HAVE
CHANGED, FRAN.
I MEAN, WE'VE COME A LONG WAY.

CHANGED, FRAN.
I MEAN, WE'VE COME A LONG WAY.
YEAH, AND IT'S ABOUT TIME,

I MEAN, WE'VE COME A LONG WAY.
YEAH, AND IT'S ABOUT TIME,
I'D SAY.

YEAH, AND IT'S ABOUT TIME,
I'D SAY.
RIGHT ON.

I'D SAY.
RIGHT ON.
RIGHT ON, MAN.

RIGHT ON.
RIGHT ON, MAN.
BUT STILL, MAN, EVEN IN 1977,

RIGHT ON, MAN.
BUT STILL, MAN, EVEN IN 1977,
YOU KNOW, SOME STEREOTYPES AND

BUT STILL, MAN, EVEN IN 1977,
YOU KNOW, SOME STEREOTYPES AND
CLASS DISTINCTIONS STILL DO

YOU KNOW, SOME STEREOTYPES AND
CLASS DISTINCTIONS STILL DO
EXIST, WOULDN'T YOU AGREE?

CLASS DISTINCTIONS STILL DO
EXIST, WOULDN'T YOU AGREE?
UH, NONE THAT I KNOW OF.

EXIST, WOULDN'T YOU AGREE?
UH, NONE THAT I KNOW OF.
WELL, HOW ABOUT THE MYTH THAT

UH, NONE THAT I KNOW OF.
WELL, HOW ABOUT THE MYTH THAT
A BLACK MAN CANNOT MAKE IT AS A

WELL, HOW ABOUT THE MYTH THAT
A BLACK MAN CANNOT MAKE IT AS A
PRO QUARTERBACK?

A BLACK MAN CANNOT MAKE IT AS A
PRO QUARTERBACK?
THERE ARE 28 TEAMS IN THE

PRO QUARTERBACK?
THERE ARE 28 TEAMS IN THE
LEAGUE, AND ONLY THREE OF THEM

THERE ARE 28 TEAMS IN THE
LEAGUE, AND ONLY THREE OF THEM
HAVE BLACK QUARTERBACKS, AND

LEAGUE, AND ONLY THREE OF THEM
HAVE BLACK QUARTERBACKS, AND
THEY ALL SITTING ON THE BENCH,

HAVE BLACK QUARTERBACKS, AND
THEY ALL SITTING ON THE BENCH,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THEY ALL SITTING ON THE BENCH,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YES, YES.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
YES, YES.
WELL, FOR YEARS, THERE'S BEEN

YES, YES.
WELL, FOR YEARS, THERE'S BEEN
THIS MYTH THAT A BLACK'S MIND IS

WELL, FOR YEARS, THERE'S BEEN
THIS MYTH THAT A BLACK'S MIND IS
NOT ELABORATE ENOUGH TO READ

THIS MYTH THAT A BLACK'S MIND IS
NOT ELABORATE ENOUGH TO READ
DEFENSES, THAT HE CAN'T CALL

NOT ELABORATE ENOUGH TO READ
DEFENSES, THAT HE CAN'T CALL
AUDIBLES FROM THE LINE, AND THAT

DEFENSES, THAT HE CAN'T CALL
AUDIBLES FROM THE LINE, AND THAT
HE HAS NO LEADERSHIP QUALITIES.

AUDIBLES FROM THE LINE, AND THAT
HE HAS NO LEADERSHIP QUALITIES.
NOW, YOU'VE BEEN, YOU KNOW, IN

HE HAS NO LEADERSHIP QUALITIES.
NOW, YOU'VE BEEN, YOU KNOW, IN
THE LEAGUE FOR 16 YEARS, AND YOU

NOW, YOU'VE BEEN, YOU KNOW, IN
THE LEAGUE FOR 16 YEARS, AND YOU
JUST SAID THAT THERE IS NO

THE LEAGUE FOR 16 YEARS, AND YOU
JUST SAID THAT THERE IS NO
PREJUDICE, RIGHT?

JUST SAID THAT THERE IS NO
PREJUDICE, RIGHT?
UH, YES.

PREJUDICE, RIGHT?
UH, YES.
THEN WHAT ABOUT THESE MYTHS?

UH, YES.
THEN WHAT ABOUT THESE MYTHS?
THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY TRUE,

THEN WHAT ABOUT THESE MYTHS?
THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY TRUE,
GARRETT.

THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY TRUE,
GARRETT.
I MUST HAVE MISSED SOMETHING.

GARRETT.
I MUST HAVE MISSED SOMETHING.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I MUST HAVE MISSED SOMETHING.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
IT'S NOT A MYTH. IT'S A FACT.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?
IT'S NOT A MYTH. IT'S A FACT.
EVERY BLACK I KNOW HAS TROUBLE

IT'S NOT A MYTH. IT'S A FACT.
EVERY BLACK I KNOW HAS TROUBLE
WITH AREA CODES, LET ALONE

EVERY BLACK I KNOW HAS TROUBLE
WITH AREA CODES, LET ALONE
NUMBERS OF PLAYS.

WITH AREA CODES, LET ALONE
NUMBERS OF PLAYS.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

NUMBERS OF PLAYS.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
SAY THAT AGAIN.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
SAY THAT AGAIN.
WELL, YOU KNOW, EVEN THE

SAY THAT AGAIN.
WELL, YOU KNOW, EVEN THE
BLACK KIDS IN THE SUMMER CAMP I

WELL, YOU KNOW, EVEN THE
BLACK KIDS IN THE SUMMER CAMP I
RUN DON'T HAVE IT.

BLACK KIDS IN THE SUMMER CAMP I
RUN DON'T HAVE IT.
SURE, THEY CAN DANCE IN THE END

RUN DON'T HAVE IT.
SURE, THEY CAN DANCE IN THE END
ZONE.

SURE, THEY CAN DANCE IN THE END
ZONE.
THEY HAVE EXTRA BONES IN THEIR

ZONE.
THEY HAVE EXTRA BONES IN THEIR
FEET.

THEY HAVE EXTRA BONES IN THEIR
FEET.
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO LEADERSHIP,

FEET.
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO LEADERSHIP,
ONE BLACK QUARTERBACK ENGINEERED

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO LEADERSHIP,
ONE BLACK QUARTERBACK ENGINEERED
A DRIVE THAT STARTED AT HIS OWN

ONE BLACK QUARTERBACK ENGINEERED
A DRIVE THAT STARTED AT HIS OWN
40-YARD LINE AND ENDED UP IN THE

A DRIVE THAT STARTED AT HIS OWN
40-YARD LINE AND ENDED UP IN THE
PARKING LOT WITH A BUCKET OF

40-YARD LINE AND ENDED UP IN THE
PARKING LOT WITH A BUCKET OF
CHICKEN.

PARKING LOT WITH A BUCKET OF
CHICKEN.
HEY, MAN, I KNOW WHAT YOU

CHICKEN.
HEY, MAN, I KNOW WHAT YOU
MEAN!

HEY, MAN, I KNOW WHAT YOU
MEAN!
YEAH, THAT'S TRUE!

MEAN!
YEAH, THAT'S TRUE!
YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

YEAH, THAT'S TRUE!
YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
AND, GARRETT, LET'S FACE IT.

YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
AND, GARRETT, LET'S FACE IT.
TRY TO BE OBJECTIVE.

AND, GARRETT, LET'S FACE IT.
TRY TO BE OBJECTIVE.
IF YOU WERE ON THE OFFENSIVE

TRY TO BE OBJECTIVE.
IF YOU WERE ON THE OFFENSIVE
LINE, WOULD YOU TURN YOUR BACK

IF YOU WERE ON THE OFFENSIVE
LINE, WOULD YOU TURN YOUR BACK
ON A BLACK GUY STANDING BEHIND

LINE, WOULD YOU TURN YOUR BACK
ON A BLACK GUY STANDING BEHIND
YOU, ESPECIALLY DURING A NIGHT

ON A BLACK GUY STANDING BEHIND
YOU, ESPECIALLY DURING A NIGHT
GAME?

YOU, ESPECIALLY DURING A NIGHT
GAME?
NO, MAN. NOT ME.

GAME?
NO, MAN. NOT ME.
I'VE GOT A WIFE AND KIDS.

NO, MAN. NOT ME.
I'VE GOT A WIFE AND KIDS.
LOOK, MAN, THANK YOU FOR

I'VE GOT A WIFE AND KIDS.
LOOK, MAN, THANK YOU FOR
CLEARING THAT UP, MAN.

LOOK, MAN, THANK YOU FOR
CLEARING THAT UP, MAN.
I'VE ALWAYS HAD A PROBLEM ABOUT

CLEARING THAT UP, MAN.
I'VE ALWAYS HAD A PROBLEM ABOUT
THAT.

I'VE ALWAYS HAD A PROBLEM ABOUT
THAT.
AND THANK YOU FOR WATCHING

THAT.
AND THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
"BLACK PERSPECTIVE."

AND THANK YOU FOR WATCHING
"BLACK PERSPECTIVE."
NEXT WEEK, MARK SPITZ EXPLAINS

"BLACK PERSPECTIVE."
NEXT WEEK, MARK SPITZ EXPLAINS
WHY THERE ARE NO BLACK SWIMMERS.

HOW'S THE DRINK?
STRONG, BUT IT'S REALLY GOOD.
AND THEY ACTUALLY LIVE HERE?

STRONG, BUT IT'S REALLY GOOD.
AND THEY ACTUALLY LIVE HERE?
MM-HMM.

AND THEY ACTUALLY LIVE HERE?
MM-HMM.
THE VICE PRESIDENT OF DataCorp,

MM-HMM.
THE VICE PRESIDENT OF DataCorp,
BILL HOGAN, TOLD ME ABOUT THIS

THE VICE PRESIDENT OF DataCorp,
BILL HOGAN, TOLD ME ABOUT THIS
PLACE.

BILL HOGAN, TOLD ME ABOUT THIS
PLACE.
A MAN AND HIS WIFE TURN THEIR

PLACE.
A MAN AND HIS WIFE TURN THEIR
OWN HOUSE INTO A RESTAURANT

A MAN AND HIS WIFE TURN THEIR
OWN HOUSE INTO A RESTAURANT
THREE NIGHTS A WEEK.

OWN HOUSE INTO A RESTAURANT
THREE NIGHTS A WEEK.
IT GOT A 4-STAR RATING IN

THREE NIGHTS A WEEK.
IT GOT A 4-STAR RATING IN
FOOD MAP MAGAZINE.

IT GOT A 4-STAR RATING IN
FOOD MAP MAGAZINE.
OH, WOW!

FOOD MAP MAGAZINE.
OH, WOW!
THEY SAID IT WAS REAL

OH, WOW!
THEY SAID IT WAS REAL
EXPENSIVE, BUT I MADE

THEY SAID IT WAS REAL
EXPENSIVE, BUT I MADE
RESERVATIONS TWO MONTHS IN

EXPENSIVE, BUT I MADE
RESERVATIONS TWO MONTHS IN
ADVANCE BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT.

RESERVATIONS TWO MONTHS IN
ADVANCE BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT.
[LAUGHS]

ADVANCE BECAUSE YOU'RE WORTH IT.
[LAUGHS]
THANK YOU.

[LAUGHS]
THANK YOU.
[French accent] IS

THANK YOU.
[French accent] IS
EVERYTHING SATISFACTORY?

[French accent] IS
EVERYTHING SATISFACTORY?
OH, YES, EVERYTHING IS GREAT.

EVERYTHING SATISFACTORY?
OH, YES, EVERYTHING IS GREAT.
THE DRINKS ARE FINE?

OH, YES, EVERYTHING IS GREAT.
THE DRINKS ARE FINE?
AND YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME!

THE DRINKS ARE FINE?
AND YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME!
OH, THANK YOU.

AND YOU HAVE A LOVELY HOME!
OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OH, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU KNOW, IT IS OUR PLEASURE TO

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU KNOW, IT IS OUR PLEASURE TO
SERVE YOU AND EXTEND THE

YOU KNOW, IT IS OUR PLEASURE TO
SERVE YOU AND EXTEND THE
HOSPITALITY OF THE REGION OF

SERVE YOU AND EXTEND THE
HOSPITALITY OF THE REGION OF
ALSACE TO YOU HERE IN AMERICA AT

HOSPITALITY OF THE REGION OF
ALSACE TO YOU HERE IN AMERICA AT
MAISON ALSACE AMERICAN.

ALSACE TO YOU HERE IN AMERICA AT
MAISON ALSACE AMERICAN.
THIS IS MY WIFE, ELLEN.

MAISON ALSACE AMERICAN.
THIS IS MY WIFE, ELLEN.
SHE WILL ASSIST ME IN PREPARING

THIS IS MY WIFE, ELLEN.
SHE WILL ASSIST ME IN PREPARING
THE MEAL FOR YOU TONIGHT AND

SHE WILL ASSIST ME IN PREPARING
THE MEAL FOR YOU TONIGHT AND
MAKING YOU FEEL AT HOME IN OUR

THE MEAL FOR YOU TONIGHT AND
MAKING YOU FEEL AT HOME IN OUR
HOME.

MAKING YOU FEEL AT HOME IN OUR
HOME.
THIS IS OUR HOME, AS YOU KNOW.

HOME.
THIS IS OUR HOME, AS YOU KNOW.
I AM THE COOK.

THIS IS OUR HOME, AS YOU KNOW.
I AM THE COOK.
I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU... I

I AM THE COOK.
I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU... I
TOLD YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT IT

I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU... I
TOLD YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT IT
ON THE PHONE WHEN I CONFIRMED

TOLD YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT IT
ON THE PHONE WHEN I CONFIRMED
YOUR RESERVATIONS... WHAT WE ARE

ON THE PHONE WHEN I CONFIRMED
YOUR RESERVATIONS... WHAT WE ARE
GOING TO HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT,

YOUR RESERVATIONS... WHAT WE ARE
GOING TO HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT,
EXCLUSIVELY FOR YOU.

GOING TO HAVE FOR YOU TONIGHT,
EXCLUSIVELY FOR YOU.
AS YOU KNOW, THIS IS OUR HOME.

EXCLUSIVELY FOR YOU.
AS YOU KNOW, THIS IS OUR HOME.
I COOK ONLY THREE NIGHTS A WEEK

AS YOU KNOW, THIS IS OUR HOME.
I COOK ONLY THREE NIGHTS A WEEK
FOR ONLY ONE COUPLE.

I COOK ONLY THREE NIGHTS A WEEK
FOR ONLY ONE COUPLE.
WE HAVE CHOSEN YOU.

FOR ONLY ONE COUPLE.
WE HAVE CHOSEN YOU.
THIS WAY WE CAN SERVE YOU

WE HAVE CHOSEN YOU.
THIS WAY WE CAN SERVE YOU
EXCLUSIVELY AND GIVE YOU OUR

THIS WAY WE CAN SERVE YOU
EXCLUSIVELY AND GIVE YOU OUR
FULL HOSPITALITY.

EXCLUSIVELY AND GIVE YOU OUR
FULL HOSPITALITY.
NOW, TONIGHT, FOR YOU, I HAVE

FULL HOSPITALITY.
NOW, TONIGHT, FOR YOU, I HAVE
SUPPER FROM THE ALSACE REGION OF

NOW, TONIGHT, FOR YOU, I HAVE
SUPPER FROM THE ALSACE REGION OF
FRANCE.

SUPPER FROM THE ALSACE REGION OF
FRANCE.
YOU WILL HAVE, TO START,

FRANCE.
YOU WILL HAVE, TO START,
PâTé DE FOIE GRAS, A SOUP MADE

YOU WILL HAVE, TO START,
PâTé DE FOIE GRAS, A SOUP MADE
FROM LEEKS AND TOMATOES.

PâTé DE FOIE GRAS, A SOUP MADE
FROM LEEKS AND TOMATOES.
[French accent] EXCUSE ME,

FROM LEEKS AND TOMATOES.
[French accent] EXCUSE ME,
MAîTRE?

[French accent] EXCUSE ME,
MAîTRE?
THE TOMATOES ARE NOT AS FRESH AS

MAîTRE?
THE TOMATOES ARE NOT AS FRESH AS
THE RED PEPPERS.

THE TOMATOES ARE NOT AS FRESH AS
THE RED PEPPERS.
WE WILL BE USING THE TOMATOES

THE RED PEPPERS.
WE WILL BE USING THE TOMATOES
IN THE SOUP.

WE WILL BE USING THE TOMATOES
IN THE SOUP.
THEY ARE PERFECT FOR THE SOUP.

IN THE SOUP.
THEY ARE PERFECT FOR THE SOUP.
AS I HAVE SAID BEFORE, I AM THE

THEY ARE PERFECT FOR THE SOUP.
AS I HAVE SAID BEFORE, I AM THE
COOK.

AS I HAVE SAID BEFORE, I AM THE
COOK.
THIS IS MY HOME.

COOK.
THIS IS MY HOME.
[MUTTERING]

THIS IS MY HOME.
[MUTTERING]
IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME.

[MUTTERING]
IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME.
AND WE WILL HAVE, FOR YOU,

IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME.
AND WE WILL HAVE, FOR YOU,
SOME QUICHE LORRAINE WITH APPLE.

AND WE WILL HAVE, FOR YOU,
SOME QUICHE LORRAINE WITH APPLE.
AND YOU WILL HAVE LES CôTELETTES

SOME QUICHE LORRAINE WITH APPLE.
AND YOU WILL HAVE LES CôTELETTES
D'AGNEAU, LAMB CHOPS, WITH GREEN

AND YOU WILL HAVE LES CôTELETTES
D'AGNEAU, LAMB CHOPS, WITH GREEN
BEANS, HARICOT VERT, WE SAY, AND

D'AGNEAU, LAMB CHOPS, WITH GREEN
BEANS, HARICOT VERT, WE SAY, AND
CANDIED CARROTS AND A LITTLE

BEANS, HARICOT VERT, WE SAY, AND
CANDIED CARROTS AND A LITTLE
SAUCE ON THAT FOR YOU.

CANDIED CARROTS AND A LITTLE
SAUCE ON THAT FOR YOU.
WE HAVE THE PâTISSERIE FOR

SAUCE ON THAT FOR YOU.
WE HAVE THE PâTISSERIE FOR
DESSERT, AND THE WINE WILL BE A

WE HAVE THE PâTISSERIE FOR
DESSERT, AND THE WINE WILL BE A
RED ALSATIAN WINE, 1968 VINTAGE.

DESSERT, AND THE WINE WILL BE A
RED ALSATIAN WINE, 1968 VINTAGE.
IS THAT ALL RIGHT FOR YOU?

RED ALSATIAN WINE, 1968 VINTAGE.
IS THAT ALL RIGHT FOR YOU?
SOUNDS REALLY GOOD!

IS THAT ALL RIGHT FOR YOU?
SOUNDS REALLY GOOD!
ALL RIGHT, AND FOR YOUR

SOUNDS REALLY GOOD!
ALL RIGHT, AND FOR YOUR
ENTERTAINMENT PLEASURE...

ALL RIGHT, AND FOR YOUR
ENTERTAINMENT PLEASURE...
FRANCINE... OUR DAUGHTER

ENTERTAINMENT PLEASURE...
FRANCINE... OUR DAUGHTER
FRANCINE WILL PLAY THE RECORDER

FRANCINE... OUR DAUGHTER
FRANCINE WILL PLAY THE RECORDER
FOR YOU.

FRANCINE WILL PLAY THE RECORDER
FOR YOU.
I COME BACK. I HOPE YOU ENJOY.

FOR YOU.
I COME BACK. I HOPE YOU ENJOY.
PLEASE.

I COME BACK. I HOPE YOU ENJOY.
PLEASE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

PLEASE.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

AND FOR YOU NOW, THE SOUP
AND THE PATE.
IT LOOKS GREAT!

AND THE PATE.
IT LOOKS GREAT!
FOR YOUR PLEASURE.

IT LOOKS GREAT!
FOR YOUR PLEASURE.
AND THE WINE.

FOR YOUR PLEASURE.
AND THE WINE.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.

AND THE WINE.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.
VINTAGE 1968 FROM THE ALSACE

I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.
VINTAGE 1968 FROM THE ALSACE
REGION.

VINTAGE 1968 FROM THE ALSACE
REGION.
RIGHT.

REGION.
RIGHT.
PLEASE, ENJOY YOURSELVES.

RIGHT.
PLEASE, ENJOY YOURSELVES.
WE ARE ONLY HERE TO SERVE YOU.

PLEASE, ENJOY YOURSELVES.
WE ARE ONLY HERE TO SERVE YOU.
YOU SHOULD HAVE A LOVELY TIME.

WE ARE ONLY HERE TO SERVE YOU.
YOU SHOULD HAVE A LOVELY TIME.
OH, I'M SURE WE WILL.

YOU SHOULD HAVE A LOVELY TIME.
OH, I'M SURE WE WILL.
FINE FOR YOU?

OH, I'M SURE WE WILL.
FINE FOR YOU?
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

FINE FOR YOU?
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
I AM GLAD YOU ENJOY IT.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
I AM GLAD YOU ENJOY IT.
IT IS A VERY GOOD WINE, AND WE

I AM GLAD YOU ENJOY IT.
IT IS A VERY GOOD WINE, AND WE
HAVE MORE DOWNSTAIRS FOR YOU.

IT IS A VERY GOOD WINE, AND WE
HAVE MORE DOWNSTAIRS FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT.

HAVE MORE DOWNSTAIRS FOR YOU.
ALL RIGHT.
AND FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT

ALL RIGHT.
AND FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT
PLEASURE... FRANCINE... OUR

AND FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT
PLEASURE... FRANCINE... OUR
DAUGHTER FRANCINE WILL PLAY FOR

PLEASURE... FRANCINE... OUR
DAUGHTER FRANCINE WILL PLAY FOR
YOU THE RECORDER.

DAUGHTER FRANCINE WILL PLAY FOR
YOU THE RECORDER.
[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]

YOU THE RECORDER.
[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
[BANGING, CRASHING]

AND FOR YOU NOW, THE MAIN
COURSE, WHICH IS, OF COURSE, LES
CôTELETTES D'AGNEAU WITH A

COURSE, WHICH IS, OF COURSE, LES
CôTELETTES D'AGNEAU WITH A
SMALL MINT SAUCE ON IT FOR YOU.

CôTELETTES D'AGNEAU WITH A
SMALL MINT SAUCE ON IT FOR YOU.
EXCUSE ME. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.

SMALL MINT SAUCE ON IT FOR YOU.
EXCUSE ME. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.
AND LES HARICOT VERT AND A SMALL

EXCUSE ME. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.
AND LES HARICOT VERT AND A SMALL
LIGHT SAUCE ON THE CARROTS.

AND LES HARICOT VERT AND A SMALL
LIGHT SAUCE ON THE CARROTS.
ARE YOU OKAY?

LIGHT SAUCE ON THE CARROTS.
ARE YOU OKAY?
IT'S NOTHING. I DROP A PLATE.

ARE YOU OKAY?
IT'S NOTHING. I DROP A PLATE.
THE SOUP WAS DELICIOUS.

IT'S NOTHING. I DROP A PLATE.
THE SOUP WAS DELICIOUS.
SOUP IS VERY GOOD.

THE SOUP WAS DELICIOUS.
SOUP IS VERY GOOD.
I'M GLAD YOU ENJOY IT.

SOUP IS VERY GOOD.
I'M GLAD YOU ENJOY IT.
PLEASE ENJOY YOUR MEAL.

I'M GLAD YOU ENJOY IT.
PLEASE ENJOY YOUR MEAL.
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO BE AT HOME

PLEASE ENJOY YOUR MEAL.
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO BE AT HOME
IN OUR HOME.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO BE AT HOME
IN OUR HOME.
AND FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT

IN OUR HOME.
AND FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT
PLEASURE NOW, FRANCINE, OUR

AND FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT
PLEASURE NOW, FRANCINE, OUR
DAUGHTER, WILL PLAY FOR YOU

PLEASURE NOW, FRANCINE, OUR
DAUGHTER, WILL PLAY FOR YOU
THE RECORDER.

DAUGHTER, WILL PLAY FOR YOU
THE RECORDER.
PLEASE ENJOY.

THE RECORDER.
PLEASE ENJOY.
[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]

PLEASE ENJOY.
[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
AAH!

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
AAH!
[French accent] PLEASE!

AAH!
[French accent] PLEASE!
I CANNOT STAND IT ANY LONGER!

[French accent] PLEASE!
I CANNOT STAND IT ANY LONGER!
YOU MUST HELP ME!

I CANNOT STAND IT ANY LONGER!
YOU MUST HELP ME!
I AM IN TROUBLE!

YOU MUST HELP ME!
I AM IN TROUBLE!
I HAVE TO GO TO COLORADO TO SEE

I AM IN TROUBLE!
I HAVE TO GO TO COLORADO TO SEE
MY BOYFRIEND!

I HAVE TO GO TO COLORADO TO SEE
MY BOYFRIEND!
ALL I NEED IS $35 MORE FOR THE

MY BOYFRIEND!
ALL I NEED IS $35 MORE FOR THE
BUS!

ALL I NEED IS $35 MORE FOR THE
BUS!
OH, PLEASE!

BUS!
OH, PLEASE!
[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]

AND WHEN YOU ARE THROUGH WITH
YOUR MEAL, THE PATISSERIE.
ECLAIR, ECLAIR. FOR LATER.

YOUR MEAL, THE PATISSERIE.
ECLAIR, ECLAIR. FOR LATER.
ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR MEAL?

ECLAIR, ECLAIR. FOR LATER.
ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR MEAL?
IS EVERYTHING SATISFACTORY?

ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR MEAL?
IS EVERYTHING SATISFACTORY?
DELICIOUS.

IS EVERYTHING SATISFACTORY?
DELICIOUS.
OH!

DELICIOUS.
OH!
AND NOW, FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT, OUR

OH!
AND NOW, FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT, OUR
DAUGHTER FRANCINE WILL PLAY THE

AND NOW, FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT, OUR
DAUGHTER FRANCINE WILL PLAY THE
RECORDER.

DAUGHTER FRANCINE WILL PLAY THE
RECORDER.
[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]

RECORDER.
[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]
OH, PLEASE!

[PLAYING DISCORDANTLY]
OH, PLEASE!
ALL I NEED IS $35!

OH, PLEASE!
ALL I NEED IS $35!
IF YOU HAVE $20, PLEASE GIVE IT

ALL I NEED IS $35!
IF YOU HAVE $20, PLEASE GIVE IT
TO ME!

IF YOU HAVE $20, PLEASE GIVE IT
TO ME!
OH, MERCI!

TO ME!
OH, MERCI!
I HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING THE

OH, MERCI!
I HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING THE
MEAL.

I HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING THE
MEAL.
GREAT!

MEAL.
GREAT!
MYSELF, FOR MYSELF... AND I

GREAT!
MYSELF, FOR MYSELF... AND I
SPEAK FOR MYSELF... I AM HAVING

MYSELF, FOR MYSELF... AND I
SPEAK FOR MYSELF... I AM HAVING
SOME TROUBLE IN THE KITCHEN.

SPEAK FOR MYSELF... I AM HAVING
SOME TROUBLE IN THE KITCHEN.
HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH, HOW

SOME TROUBLE IN THE KITCHEN.
HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH, HOW
YOU SAY, LE FOUR, THE STOVE.

HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH, HOW
YOU SAY, LE FOUR, THE STOVE.
THE OVEN IS GIVING US SOME

YOU SAY, LE FOUR, THE STOVE.
THE OVEN IS GIVING US SOME
TROUBLE TONIGHT.

THE OVEN IS GIVING US SOME
TROUBLE TONIGHT.
HOW ARE YOUR CARROTS?

TROUBLE TONIGHT.
HOW ARE YOUR CARROTS?
GOOD TONIGHT FOR YOU?

HOW ARE YOUR CARROTS?
GOOD TONIGHT FOR YOU?
OH, NOT AS GOOD AS LAST WEEK,

GOOD TONIGHT FOR YOU?
OH, NOT AS GOOD AS LAST WEEK,
BECAUSE MY WIFE DOES NOT KNOW

OH, NOT AS GOOD AS LAST WEEK,
BECAUSE MY WIFE DOES NOT KNOW
HOW TO PREPARE A SAUCE, YOU SEE?

BECAUSE MY WIFE DOES NOT KNOW
HOW TO PREPARE A SAUCE, YOU SEE?
THESE CARROTS ARE NOT AS GOOD AS

HOW TO PREPARE A SAUCE, YOU SEE?
THESE CARROTS ARE NOT AS GOOD AS
LAST WEEK.

THESE CARROTS ARE NOT AS GOOD AS
LAST WEEK.
SHE IS SO STUPID SOMETIMES.

LAST WEEK.
SHE IS SO STUPID SOMETIMES.
SO, SO STUPID, MY WIFE.

SHE IS SO STUPID SOMETIMES.
SO, SO STUPID, MY WIFE.
SOMETIMES... YES, MY WI...

SO, SO STUPID, MY WIFE.
SOMETIMES... YES, MY WI...
AND HERE, THE CHECK.

SOMETIMES... YES, MY WI...
AND HERE, THE CHECK.
BUT DO NOT RUSH.

AND HERE, THE CHECK.
BUT DO NOT RUSH.
SIT, ENJOY YOUR MEAL, TAKE AS

BUT DO NOT RUSH.
SIT, ENJOY YOUR MEAL, TAKE AS
MUCH TIME AS YOU LIKE.

SIT, ENJOY YOUR MEAL, TAKE AS
MUCH TIME AS YOU LIKE.
AND FOR YOUR LISTENING

MUCH TIME AS YOU LIKE.
AND FOR YOUR LISTENING
PLEASURE, FRANCINE WILL ALWAYS

AND FOR YOUR LISTENING
PLEASURE, FRANCINE WILL ALWAYS
PLAY.

PLEASURE, FRANCINE WILL ALWAYS
PLAY.
THANK YOU.

PLAY.
THANK YOU.
HEY, NOW, THAT IS NOT BAD AT

THANK YOU.
HEY, NOW, THAT IS NOT BAD AT
ALL!

HI, I'M FRAN TARKENTON.

YOU KNOW, IT TAKES STRENGTH AND

STAMINA TO PLAY PRO FOOTBALL.

YOU NEED TO REPLACE LOTS OF LOST
MUSCLE TISSUE FAST, AND
SOMETIMES YOUR METABOLIC SYSTEM

MUSCLE TISSUE FAST, AND
SOMETIMES YOUR METABOLIC SYSTEM
JUST CAN'T PULL IT OFF ALONE.

SOMETIMES YOUR METABOLIC SYSTEM
JUST CAN'T PULL IT OFF ALONE.
THAT'S WHY I START EACH DAY WITH

JUST CAN'T PULL IT OFF ALONE.
THAT'S WHY I START EACH DAY WITH
A BIG BOWL OF SUGAR-FROSTED

THAT'S WHY I START EACH DAY WITH
A BIG BOWL OF SUGAR-FROSTED
ANABOLIC STEROIDS.

A BIG BOWL OF SUGAR-FROSTED
ANABOLIC STEROIDS.
THIS CEREAL IS A DELICIOUS

ANABOLIC STEROIDS.
THIS CEREAL IS A DELICIOUS
SYNTHETIC DERIVATIVE OF MALE

THIS CEREAL IS A DELICIOUS
SYNTHETIC DERIVATIVE OF MALE
HORMONES, AND IN ONE 8-OUNCE

SYNTHETIC DERIVATIVE OF MALE
HORMONES, AND IN ONE 8-OUNCE
BOWL, I GET MORE THAN MY BODY

HORMONES, AND IN ONE 8-OUNCE
BOWL, I GET MORE THAN MY BODY
WOULD PRODUCE IN THREE YEARS.

BOWL, I GET MORE THAN MY BODY
WOULD PRODUCE IN THREE YEARS.
THERE'S TESTOSTERONE FOR QUICK

WOULD PRODUCE IN THREE YEARS.
THERE'S TESTOSTERONE FOR QUICK
WEIGHT GAIN, STANOZOLOL TO BOOST

THERE'S TESTOSTERONE FOR QUICK
WEIGHT GAIN, STANOZOLOL TO BOOST
YOUR STRENGTH, AND THESE

WEIGHT GAIN, STANOZOLOL TO BOOST
YOUR STRENGTH, AND THESE
ANDROGENS TO HELP PROMOTE

YOUR STRENGTH, AND THESE
ANDROGENS TO HELP PROMOTE
AGGRESSIVENESS AND TURN YOUR

ANDROGENS TO HELP PROMOTE
AGGRESSIVENESS AND TURN YOUR
GRAPES INTO RAISINS.

AGGRESSIVENESS AND TURN YOUR
GRAPES INTO RAISINS.
BUT THE BEST PART HAS GOT TO BE

GRAPES INTO RAISINS.
BUT THE BEST PART HAS GOT TO BE
THE TASTE.

BUT THE BEST PART HAS GOT TO BE
THE TASTE.
IT'S GREAT WITH MILK OR RIGHT

THE TASTE.
IT'S GREAT WITH MILK OR RIGHT
FROM THE BOX.

IT'S GREAT WITH MILK OR RIGHT
FROM THE BOX.
UH-HUH.

FROM THE BOX.
UH-HUH.
MMM.

UH-HUH.
MMM.
IT'S LIGHTLY SWEETENED AND

MMM.
IT'S LIGHTLY SWEETENED AND
MIXED WITH CHEWY MARSHMALLOW

IT'S LIGHTLY SWEETENED AND
MIXED WITH CHEWY MARSHMALLOW
MAGNESIUM BITS TO HELP SLOW

MIXED WITH CHEWY MARSHMALLOW
MAGNESIUM BITS TO HELP SLOW
SUDDEN MUSCLE DECAY.

MAGNESIUM BITS TO HELP SLOW
SUDDEN MUSCLE DECAY.
SO, WHETHER YOU'RE A

SUDDEN MUSCLE DECAY.
SO, WHETHER YOU'RE A
PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE OR JUST A

SO, WHETHER YOU'RE A
PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE OR JUST A
HOUSEWIFE, ALTER YOUR METABOLISM

PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE OR JUST A
HOUSEWIFE, ALTER YOUR METABOLISM
THE WAY THE PROS DO WITH

HOUSEWIFE, ALTER YOUR METABOLISM
THE WAY THE PROS DO WITH
SUGAR-FROSTED ANABOLIC STEROIDS,

THE WAY THE PROS DO WITH
SUGAR-FROSTED ANABOLIC STEROIDS,
THE MALE HORMONE CEREAL.

SUGAR-FROSTED ANABOLIC STEROIDS,
THE MALE HORMONE CEREAL.
OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.

THE MALE HORMONE CEREAL.
OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
KIDS LIKE IT, TOO.

OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
KIDS LIKE IT, TOO.
Announcer: SUGAR-FROSTED

KIDS LIKE IT, TOO.
Announcer: SUGAR-FROSTED
ANABOLIC STEROIDS, THE OFFICIAL

Announcer: SUGAR-FROSTED
ANABOLIC STEROIDS, THE OFFICIAL
CEREAL OF THE SOVIET WOMEN'S

ANABOLIC STEROIDS, THE OFFICIAL
CEREAL OF THE SOVIET WOMEN'S
OLYMPIC SHOT-PUT TEAM.

Announcer: AND NOW
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH
JANE CURTIN.

"WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH
JANE CURTIN.
BEFORE I BEGIN MY REGULAR

JANE CURTIN.
BEFORE I BEGIN MY REGULAR
NEWS BROADCAST TONIGHT, I WOULD

BEFORE I BEGIN MY REGULAR
NEWS BROADCAST TONIGHT, I WOULD
LIKE TO READ YOU A LETTER.

NEWS BROADCAST TONIGHT, I WOULD
LIKE TO READ YOU A LETTER.
"DEAR JANE CURTIN, I CERTAINLY

LIKE TO READ YOU A LETTER.
"DEAR JANE CURTIN, I CERTAINLY
MISS CHEVY.

"DEAR JANE CURTIN, I CERTAINLY
MISS CHEVY.
HE IS REAL SEXY.

MISS CHEVY.
HE IS REAL SEXY.
YOU CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO HIM.

HE IS REAL SEXY.
YOU CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO HIM.
WOULD YOU PLEASE SEND ME HIS

YOU CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO HIM.
WOULD YOU PLEASE SEND ME HIS
PHOTOGRAPH?

WOULD YOU PLEASE SEND ME HIS
PHOTOGRAPH?
YOURS SINCERELY,

PHOTOGRAPH?
YOURS SINCERELY,
MARGIE KAUFMAN."

YOURS SINCERELY,
MARGIE KAUFMAN."
I'VE BEEN GETTING LETTERS ABOUT

MARGIE KAUFMAN."
I'VE BEEN GETTING LETTERS ABOUT
"NEWS UPDATE" LATELY WITH

I'VE BEEN GETTING LETTERS ABOUT
"NEWS UPDATE" LATELY WITH
PHRASES LIKE "GOING DOWNHILL,"

"NEWS UPDATE" LATELY WITH
PHRASES LIKE "GOING DOWNHILL,"
"NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE," AND

PHRASES LIKE "GOING DOWNHILL,"
"NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE," AND
"JUST PLAIN BORING."

"NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE," AND
"JUST PLAIN BORING."
MOSTLY THE LETTERS ARE ABOUT HOW

"JUST PLAIN BORING."
MOSTLY THE LETTERS ARE ABOUT HOW
"UPDATE" ISN'T AS GOOD AS WHEN

MOSTLY THE LETTERS ARE ABOUT HOW
"UPDATE" ISN'T AS GOOD AS WHEN
THAT "SEXY CHEVY CHASE" DID IT.

"UPDATE" ISN'T AS GOOD AS WHEN
THAT "SEXY CHEVY CHASE" DID IT.
THE NETWORK SAYS THE RATINGS ARE

THAT "SEXY CHEVY CHASE" DID IT.
THE NETWORK SAYS THE RATINGS ARE
SLIPPING, AND THEY'RE PUTTING A

THE NETWORK SAYS THE RATINGS ARE
SLIPPING, AND THEY'RE PUTTING A
LOT OF PRESSURE ON LORNE TO TRY

SLIPPING, AND THEY'RE PUTTING A
LOT OF PRESSURE ON LORNE TO TRY
SOMEBODY NEW, LIKE THAT NEW KID

LOT OF PRESSURE ON LORNE TO TRY
SOMEBODY NEW, LIKE THAT NEW KID
MURRAY OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS.

SOMEBODY NEW, LIKE THAT NEW KID
MURRAY OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS.
YOU SEE, I JUST ASSUMED THAT IT

MURRAY OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS.
YOU SEE, I JUST ASSUMED THAT IT
WAS RESPONSIBLE JOURNALISM YOU

YOU SEE, I JUST ASSUMED THAT IT
WAS RESPONSIBLE JOURNALISM YOU
WANTED, NOT SEX.

WAS RESPONSIBLE JOURNALISM YOU
WANTED, NOT SEX.
I GAVE YOU MORE CREDIT THAN

WANTED, NOT SEX.
I GAVE YOU MORE CREDIT THAN
THAT.

I GAVE YOU MORE CREDIT THAN
THAT.
BUT I WAS WRONG.

THAT.
BUT I WAS WRONG.
WHAT CAN I SAY BESIDES...

BUT I WAS WRONG.
WHAT CAN I SAY BESIDES...
TRY THESE ON FOR SIZE,

WHAT CAN I SAY BESIDES...
TRY THESE ON FOR SIZE,
CONNIE CHUNG!

TRY THESE ON FOR SIZE,
CONNIE CHUNG!
IF IT'S RAW THRILLS YOU WANT,

CONNIE CHUNG!
IF IT'S RAW THRILLS YOU WANT,
IT'S RAW THRILLS YOU'LL GET.

OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...
FOLLOWING THE VATICAN
DECLARATION THAT WOMEN CANNOT

FOLLOWING THE VATICAN
DECLARATION THAT WOMEN CANNOT
BECOME PRIESTS BECAUSE THEY DO

DECLARATION THAT WOMEN CANNOT
BECOME PRIESTS BECAUSE THEY DO
NOT RESEMBLE CHRIST, SOURCES

BECOME PRIESTS BECAUSE THEY DO
NOT RESEMBLE CHRIST, SOURCES
REPORT THAT COLONEL SANDERS HAS

NOT RESEMBLE CHRIST, SOURCES
REPORT THAT COLONEL SANDERS HAS
DECLARED THAT HE WILL NOT EMPLOY

REPORT THAT COLONEL SANDERS HAS
DECLARED THAT HE WILL NOT EMPLOY
ANYONE THAT DOES NOT RESEMBLE A

DECLARED THAT HE WILL NOT EMPLOY
ANYONE THAT DOES NOT RESEMBLE A
CHICKEN.

ANYONE THAT DOES NOT RESEMBLE A
CHICKEN.
WELL, EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT THE

CHICKEN.
WELL, EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT THE
WEATHER, ESPECIALLY THIS COLD

WELL, EVERYBODY TALKS ABOUT THE
WEATHER, ESPECIALLY THIS COLD
WINTER, BUT MANY TIMES THEY ARE

WEATHER, ESPECIALLY THIS COLD
WINTER, BUT MANY TIMES THEY ARE
INACCURATE.

WINTER, BUT MANY TIMES THEY ARE
INACCURATE.
AS SPOKESPERSON FOR THE

INACCURATE.
AS SPOKESPERSON FOR THE
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICAN

AS SPOKESPERSON FOR THE
ASSOCIATION OF AMERICAN
WITCHES AND WARLOCKS SAID TODAY,

ASSOCIATION OF AMERICAN
WITCHES AND WARLOCKS SAID TODAY,
"A WITCH'S... BREAST IS NO COLDER

WITCHES AND WARLOCKS SAID TODAY,
"A WITCH'S... BREAST IS NO COLDER
THAN THE AVERAGE AMERICAN

"A WITCH'S... BREAST IS NO COLDER
THAN THE AVERAGE AMERICAN
WOMAN'S BREAST."

THAN THE AVERAGE AMERICAN
WOMAN'S BREAST."
MORE ON THIS STORY AS IT

WOMAN'S BREAST."
MORE ON THIS STORY AS IT
DEVELOPS.

MORE ON THIS STORY AS IT
DEVELOPS.
SINCE JIMMY CARTER HAS BEEN IN

DEVELOPS.
SINCE JIMMY CARTER HAS BEEN IN
THE WHITE HOUSE, THE TELEPHONE

SINCE JIMMY CARTER HAS BEEN IN
THE WHITE HOUSE, THE TELEPHONE
SWITCHBOARDS THERE HAVE BEEN

THE WHITE HOUSE, THE TELEPHONE
SWITCHBOARDS THERE HAVE BEEN
JAMMED WITH 80,000 CALLS A DAY.

SWITCHBOARDS THERE HAVE BEEN
JAMMED WITH 80,000 CALLS A DAY.
OPERATORS SAY THAT 1,000 ARE

JAMMED WITH 80,000 CALLS A DAY.
OPERATORS SAY THAT 1,000 ARE
OFFICIAL BUSINESS AND 79,000 ARE

OPERATORS SAY THAT 1,000 ARE
OFFICIAL BUSINESS AND 79,000 ARE
OBSCENE PHONE CALLS TRACED TO A

OFFICIAL BUSINESS AND 79,000 ARE
OBSCENE PHONE CALLS TRACED TO A
PHONE BOOTH IN SAN CLEMENTE,

OBSCENE PHONE CALLS TRACED TO A
PHONE BOOTH IN SAN CLEMENTE,
CALIFORNIA.

PHONE BOOTH IN SAN CLEMENTE,
CALIFORNIA.
IN A SHATTERING LANDMARK RULING,

CALIFORNIA.
IN A SHATTERING LANDMARK RULING,
THE SWEDISH GOVERNMENT HAS

IN A SHATTERING LANDMARK RULING,
THE SWEDISH GOVERNMENT HAS
RELEASED THIS STATEMENT...

THE SWEDISH GOVERNMENT HAS
RELEASED THIS STATEMENT...
[SPEAKING SWEDISH]

RELEASED THIS STATEMENT...
[SPEAKING SWEDISH]
THE UNITED STATES ARMY HAS

[SPEAKING SWEDISH]
THE UNITED STATES ARMY HAS
ANNOUNCED THAT IT HAS DEVELOPED

THE UNITED STATES ARMY HAS
ANNOUNCED THAT IT HAS DEVELOPED
A CRUISE MISSILE IN RETALIATION

ANNOUNCED THAT IT HAS DEVELOPED
A CRUISE MISSILE IN RETALIATION
TO A SIMILAR WEAPON BUILT BY THE

A CRUISE MISSILE IN RETALIATION
TO A SIMILAR WEAPON BUILT BY THE
SOVIET UNION.

TO A SIMILAR WEAPON BUILT BY THE
SOVIET UNION.
THE ARMY IS SPENDING

SOVIET UNION.
THE ARMY IS SPENDING
$2.6 BILLION FOR THIS MISSILE

THE ARMY IS SPENDING
$2.6 BILLION FOR THIS MISSILE
THAT TRACKS DOWN ITS TARGET NO

$2.6 BILLION FOR THIS MISSILE
THAT TRACKS DOWN ITS TARGET NO
MATTER WHERE IT IS.

THAT TRACKS DOWN ITS TARGET NO
MATTER WHERE IT IS.
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WAS ABLE TO

MATTER WHERE IT IS.
"WEEKEND UPDATE" WAS ABLE TO
SNEAK ITS CAMERAS INTO THE

"WEEKEND UPDATE" WAS ABLE TO
SNEAK ITS CAMERAS INTO THE
TESTING SITE IN THE NEVADA

SNEAK ITS CAMERAS INTO THE
TESTING SITE IN THE NEVADA
FLATS AND OBTAINED THIS FOOTAGE

TESTING SITE IN THE NEVADA
FLATS AND OBTAINED THIS FOOTAGE
OF THE FIRST TRIAL LAUNCHING OF

FLATS AND OBTAINED THIS FOOTAGE
OF THE FIRST TRIAL LAUNCHING OF
THE CRUISE MISSILE.

OF THE FIRST TRIAL LAUNCHING OF
THE CRUISE MISSILE.
THERE'S THE LAUNCH, AND THE

THE CRUISE MISSILE.
THERE'S THE LAUNCH, AND THE
CRUISE MISSILE IS OFF!

THERE'S THE LAUNCH, AND THE
CRUISE MISSILE IS OFF!
AH, IT SPOTS ITS TARGET.

CRUISE MISSILE IS OFF!
AH, IT SPOTS ITS TARGET.
THERE IT GOES.

AH, IT SPOTS ITS TARGET.
THERE IT GOES.
THERE'S JUST NO STOPPING THIS

THERE IT GOES.
THERE'S JUST NO STOPPING THIS
CRUISE MISSILE, FOLKS!

THERE'S JUST NO STOPPING THIS
CRUISE MISSILE, FOLKS!
$2.6 BILLION!

CRUISE MISSILE, FOLKS!
$2.6 BILLION!
IN PURSUIT OF ITS TARGET.

$2.6 BILLION!
IN PURSUIT OF ITS TARGET.
IT'S A HEAT-SEEKING DEVICE THAT

IN PURSUIT OF ITS TARGET.
IT'S A HEAT-SEEKING DEVICE THAT
ALWAYS GET ITS MAN AND

IT'S A HEAT-SEEKING DEVICE THAT
ALWAYS GET ITS MAN AND
SOMETIMES ITS WOMAN.

ALWAYS GET ITS MAN AND
SOMETIMES ITS WOMAN.
$2.6 BILLION.

SOMETIMES ITS WOMAN.
$2.6 BILLION.
HONK HONK. LOOK OUT.

$2.6 BILLION.
HONK HONK. LOOK OUT.
IT'S THE CRUISE MISSILE.

HONK HONK. LOOK OUT.
IT'S THE CRUISE MISSILE.
STILL TO COME... JIMMY CARTER

IT'S THE CRUISE MISSILE.
STILL TO COME... JIMMY CARTER
LIKES AMY'S FRIENDS, AFTER THIS

STILL TO COME... JIMMY CARTER
LIKES AMY'S FRIENDS, AFTER THIS
MESSAGE.

HI, I'M FRAN TARKENTON.
THAT WAS A GREAT MOMENT FOR ME.
AND THIS WAS ANOTHER GREAT

THAT WAS A GREAT MOMENT FOR ME.
AND THIS WAS ANOTHER GREAT
MOMENT.

AND THIS WAS ANOTHER GREAT
MOMENT.
THIS IS JOHN BELUSHI.

MOMENT.
THIS IS JOHN BELUSHI.
UNTIL RECENTLY, JOHN WAS AN

THIS IS JOHN BELUSHI.
UNTIL RECENTLY, JOHN WAS AN
ACTOR OF SOME PROMISE.

UNTIL RECENTLY, JOHN WAS AN
ACTOR OF SOME PROMISE.
THEN DRUGS DESTROYED HIS MIND.

ACTOR OF SOME PROMISE.
THEN DRUGS DESTROYED HIS MIND.
BUT YOUR DOLLARS HAVE HELPED.

THEN DRUGS DESTROYED HIS MIND.
BUT YOUR DOLLARS HAVE HELPED.
THROUGH CARE AND DEDICATION,

BUT YOUR DOLLARS HAVE HELPED.
THROUGH CARE AND DEDICATION,
JOHN HAS BEEN REHABILITATED TO

THROUGH CARE AND DEDICATION,
JOHN HAS BEEN REHABILITATED TO
THE POINT WHERE HE SEES SHADOWS

JOHN HAS BEEN REHABILITATED TO
THE POINT WHERE HE SEES SHADOWS
AND CAN NAME THREE COUNTRIES.

THE POINT WHERE HE SEES SHADOWS
AND CAN NAME THREE COUNTRIES.
GO AHEAD, JOHN.

AND CAN NAME THREE COUNTRIES.
GO AHEAD, JOHN.
BELGIUM, BELGIUM, AND

GO AHEAD, JOHN.
BELGIUM, BELGIUM, AND
KANSAS CITY.

BELGIUM, BELGIUM, AND
KANSAS CITY.
GOOD BOY.

KANSAS CITY.
GOOD BOY.
NOW, TELL THE PEOPLE ABOUT THE

GOOD BOY.
NOW, TELL THE PEOPLE ABOUT THE
SPECIAL PROGRAM THEY PUT YOU ON.

NOW, TELL THE PEOPLE ABOUT THE
SPECIAL PROGRAM THEY PUT YOU ON.
FIRST I GET UP IN THE

SPECIAL PROGRAM THEY PUT YOU ON.
FIRST I GET UP IN THE
MORNING, AND I GET MY SHOT.

FIRST I GET UP IN THE
MORNING, AND I GET MY SHOT.
THEN THEY PUT ME ON A SPECIAL

MORNING, AND I GET MY SHOT.
THEN THEY PUT ME ON A SPECIAL
BUS AND...

THEN THEY PUT ME ON A SPECIAL
BUS AND...
AND THEN THEY TAKE ME TO THE

BUS AND...
AND THEN THEY TAKE ME TO THE
PARK THAT HAS RUBBER WALLS.

AND THEN THEY TAKE ME TO THE
PARK THAT HAS RUBBER WALLS.
AND I SEE A FILM.

PARK THAT HAS RUBBER WALLS.
AND I SEE A FILM.
AND ON SUNDAYS, I HAVE MILK.

AND I SEE A FILM.
AND ON SUNDAYS, I HAVE MILK.
GOOD BOY, JOHN. GOOD BOY.

COMMUNITY APPEAL.

THANKS TO YOU, HE'S WORKING.

HI.
FORMER PRESIDENT GERALD FORD
ENJOYED A ROUND OF GOLF TODAY

FORMER PRESIDENT GERALD FORD
ENJOYED A ROUND OF GOLF TODAY
NEAR HIS PALM SPRINGS HOME.

ENJOYED A ROUND OF GOLF TODAY
NEAR HIS PALM SPRINGS HOME.
WHEN A REPORTER ASKED HIM

NEAR HIS PALM SPRINGS HOME.
WHEN A REPORTER ASKED HIM
WHETHER HE REGRETS NOT BEING THE

WHEN A REPORTER ASKED HIM
WHETHER HE REGRETS NOT BEING THE
CHIEF EXECUTIVE, FORD SAID, "I'M

WHETHER HE REGRETS NOT BEING THE
CHIEF EXECUTIVE, FORD SAID, "I'M
GLAD I AM NOT THE CHIEF

CHIEF EXECUTIVE, FORD SAID, "I'M
GLAD I AM NOT THE CHIEF
EXECUTIVE OR THE PRESIDENT

GLAD I AM NOT THE CHIEF
EXECUTIVE OR THE PRESIDENT
BECAUSE THEN THERE WOULD BE TWO

EXECUTIVE OR THE PRESIDENT
BECAUSE THEN THERE WOULD BE TWO
PRESIDENTS.

BECAUSE THEN THERE WOULD BE TWO
PRESIDENTS.
I BELIEVE IN THE ONE-PRESIDENT

PRESIDENTS.
I BELIEVE IN THE ONE-PRESIDENT
SYSTEM."

I BELIEVE IN THE ONE-PRESIDENT
SYSTEM."
IN THE WAKE OF THE PHENOMENAL

SYSTEM."
IN THE WAKE OF THE PHENOMENAL
SUCCESS OF THE TV PRODUCTION OF

IN THE WAKE OF THE PHENOMENAL
SUCCESS OF THE TV PRODUCTION OF
"ROOTS," BASED ON ALEX HALEY'S

SUCCESS OF THE TV PRODUCTION OF
"ROOTS," BASED ON ALEX HALEY'S
BESTSELLER, MR. HALEY HAS

"ROOTS," BASED ON ALEX HALEY'S
BESTSELLER, MR. HALEY HAS
REPORTEDLY REVEALED A MISTAKE IN

BESTSELLER, MR. HALEY HAS
REPORTEDLY REVEALED A MISTAKE IN
HIS RESEARCH OF HIS FAMILY

REPORTEDLY REVEALED A MISTAKE IN
HIS RESEARCH OF HIS FAMILY
ORIGINS.

HIS RESEARCH OF HIS FAMILY
ORIGINS.
INSTEAD OF TRACING HIMSELF BACK

ORIGINS.
INSTEAD OF TRACING HIMSELF BACK
TO AN 18th-CENTURY AFRICAN

INSTEAD OF TRACING HIMSELF BACK
TO AN 18th-CENTURY AFRICAN
KUNTA KINTE, HALEY SAYS HE GOES

TO AN 18th-CENTURY AFRICAN
KUNTA KINTE, HALEY SAYS HE GOES
BACK ONLY AS FAR AS THE 1930s

KUNTA KINTE, HALEY SAYS HE GOES
BACK ONLY AS FAR AS THE 1930s
VOCAL GROUP THE INK SPOTS.

BACK ONLY AS FAR AS THE 1930s
VOCAL GROUP THE INK SPOTS.
HALEY HAS APOLOGIZED TO HIS

VOCAL GROUP THE INK SPOTS.
HALEY HAS APOLOGIZED TO HIS
PUBLISHER AND TO THE AMERICAN

HALEY HAS APOLOGIZED TO HIS
PUBLISHER AND TO THE AMERICAN
BROADCAST COMPANY...

PUBLISHER AND TO THE AMERICAN
BROADCAST COMPANY...
AND, FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON,

BROADCAST COMPANY...
AND, FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON,
SHIRLEY TEMPLE BLACK.

AND, FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON,
SHIRLEY TEMPLE BLACK.
I DON'T KNOW WHY.

"WEEKEND UPDATE" WOULD LIKE TO
CORRECT A MISTAKE IN ONE OF OUR
NEWS ITEMS LAST WEEK.

CORRECT A MISTAKE IN ONE OF OUR
NEWS ITEMS LAST WEEK.
IN A PROFILE OF

NEWS ITEMS LAST WEEK.
IN A PROFILE OF
MAMIE EISENHOWER, WE

IN A PROFILE OF
MAMIE EISENHOWER, WE
INADVERTENTLY REPORTED THAT SHE

MAMIE EISENHOWER, WE
INADVERTENTLY REPORTED THAT SHE
ONCE KNOCKED OUT FLOYD PATTERSON

INADVERTENTLY REPORTED THAT SHE
ONCE KNOCKED OUT FLOYD PATTERSON
TO WIN THE HEAVYWEIGHT CROWN.

ONCE KNOCKED OUT FLOYD PATTERSON
TO WIN THE HEAVYWEIGHT CROWN.
WELL, WE STAND CORRECTED.

TO WIN THE HEAVYWEIGHT CROWN.
WELL, WE STAND CORRECTED.
OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT... I'M

WELL, WE STAND CORRECTED.
OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT... I'M
JUST OVERWHELMING YOU, AREN'T I?

OUR FINAL STORY TONIGHT... I'M
JUST OVERWHELMING YOU, AREN'T I?
DESPITE THE FACT THAT THIS IS

JUST OVERWHELMING YOU, AREN'T I?
DESPITE THE FACT THAT THIS IS
THE COLDEST WINTER IN YEARS AND

DESPITE THE FACT THAT THIS IS
THE COLDEST WINTER IN YEARS AND
THAT, WITH THE CHILL FACTOR,

THE COLDEST WINTER IN YEARS AND
THAT, WITH THE CHILL FACTOR,
TEMPERATURES HAVE BEEN WELL

THAT, WITH THE CHILL FACTOR,
TEMPERATURES HAVE BEEN WELL
BELOW ZERO, THE MEMBERS OF

TEMPERATURES HAVE BEEN WELL
BELOW ZERO, THE MEMBERS OF
NEW YORK'S FAMED POLAR BEAR CLUB

BELOW ZERO, THE MEMBERS OF
NEW YORK'S FAMED POLAR BEAR CLUB
WERE NOT DISCOURAGED FROM TAKING

NEW YORK'S FAMED POLAR BEAR CLUB
WERE NOT DISCOURAGED FROM TAKING
AN EARLY-MORNING SWIM TODAY.

WERE NOT DISCOURAGED FROM TAKING
AN EARLY-MORNING SWIM TODAY.
16 MEMBERS ENTERED THE FRIGID

AN EARLY-MORNING SWIM TODAY.
16 MEMBERS ENTERED THE FRIGID
WATERS OFF CONEY ISLAND THIS

16 MEMBERS ENTERED THE FRIGID
WATERS OFF CONEY ISLAND THIS
MORNING, CLAD ONLY IN BATHING

WATERS OFF CONEY ISLAND THIS
MORNING, CLAD ONLY IN BATHING
SUITS TO PROVE THAT THEY COULD

MORNING, CLAD ONLY IN BATHING
SUITS TO PROVE THAT THEY COULD
BRAVE EVEN THE ROUGHEST OF

SUITS TO PROVE THAT THEY COULD
BRAVE EVEN THE ROUGHEST OF
ELEMENTS.

BRAVE EVEN THE ROUGHEST OF
ELEMENTS.
ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... ALL 16

ELEMENTS.
ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... ALL 16
MEMBERS FROZE TO DEATH.

ONE HUMOROUS NOTE... ALL 16
MEMBERS FROZE TO DEATH.
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT

MEMBERS FROZE TO DEATH.
GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT
TOMORROW.

OH, SO, THIS IS YOUR ROOM.
YEAH. ROOM 411.
IT'S MY LAST NIGHT HERE.

YEAH. ROOM 411.
IT'S MY LAST NIGHT HERE.
WOW, IT'S REALLY INCREDIBLE

IT'S MY LAST NIGHT HERE.
WOW, IT'S REALLY INCREDIBLE
RUNNING INTO YOU AFTER THE

WOW, IT'S REALLY INCREDIBLE
RUNNING INTO YOU AFTER THE
SUPER BOWL, YOU KNOW?

RUNNING INTO YOU AFTER THE
SUPER BOWL, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, IT WAS OUTRAGEOUS.

SUPER BOWL, YOU KNOW?
I MEAN, IT WAS OUTRAGEOUS.
I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,

I MEAN, IT WAS OUTRAGEOUS.
I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,
"FRAN TARKENTON IN THIS BAR ALL

I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,
"FRAN TARKENTON IN THIS BAR ALL
ALONE WITH ALL THAT ENERGY TO

"FRAN TARKENTON IN THIS BAR ALL
ALONE WITH ALL THAT ENERGY TO
EXPEND."

ALONE WITH ALL THAT ENERGY TO
EXPEND."
YEAH, WELL, I'M BEAT.

EXPEND."
YEAH, WELL, I'M BEAT.
I'M ABOUT READY TO CRASH.

YEAH, WELL, I'M BEAT.
I'M ABOUT READY TO CRASH.
REALLY?

I'M ABOUT READY TO CRASH.
REALLY?
I COULD TALK ALL NIGHT, MAN.

REALLY?
I COULD TALK ALL NIGHT, MAN.
IT'S LIKE, DID I EVER TELL

I COULD TALK ALL NIGHT, MAN.
IT'S LIKE, DID I EVER TELL
YOU... NO, I COULDN'T HAVE.

IT'S LIKE, DID I EVER TELL
YOU... NO, I COULDN'T HAVE.
WE JUST MET... ABOUT WHEN I WAS

YOU... NO, I COULDN'T HAVE.
WE JUST MET... ABOUT WHEN I WAS
IN THE FOURTH GRADE, YOU KNOW?

WE JUST MET... ABOUT WHEN I WAS
IN THE FOURTH GRADE, YOU KNOW?
AND THIS GIRL, JEAN BROMBERG,

IN THE FOURTH GRADE, YOU KNOW?
AND THIS GIRL, JEAN BROMBERG,
HAD A FLY ON HER, YOU KNOW?

AND THIS GIRL, JEAN BROMBERG,
HAD A FLY ON HER, YOU KNOW?
AND, LIKE, IT REALLY BLEW ME

HAD A FLY ON HER, YOU KNOW?
AND, LIKE, IT REALLY BLEW ME
AWAY 'CAUSE SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT,

AND, LIKE, IT REALLY BLEW ME
AWAY 'CAUSE SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT,
MAN.

AWAY 'CAUSE SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT,
MAN.
AND I THOUGHT, "WELL, IF I HAD A

MAN.
AND I THOUGHT, "WELL, IF I HAD A
FLY ON ME, I WOULD KNOW IT," YOU

AND I THOUGHT, "WELL, IF I HAD A
FLY ON ME, I WOULD KNOW IT," YOU
KNOW?

FLY ON ME, I WOULD KNOW IT," YOU
KNOW?
AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT

KNOW?
AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT
I SAW THINGS AND FELT THINGS ON

AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT
I SAW THINGS AND FELT THINGS ON
A MUCH DEEPER LEVEL THAN MOST

I SAW THINGS AND FELT THINGS ON
A MUCH DEEPER LEVEL THAN MOST
PEOPLE.

A MUCH DEEPER LEVEL THAN MOST
PEOPLE.
UH... UH... TIME-OUT.

PEOPLE.
UH... UH... TIME-OUT.
TIME-OUT.

UH... UH... TIME-OUT.
TIME-OUT.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

TIME-OUT.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE TARKENTON

[WHISTLE BLOWS]
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE TARKENTON
HAS CALLED TIME-OUT.

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE TARKENTON
HAS CALLED TIME-OUT.
HE'S HEADING FOR THE SIDELINES

HAS CALLED TIME-OUT.
HE'S HEADING FOR THE SIDELINES
TO TALK OVER THE SITUATION WITH

HE'S HEADING FOR THE SIDELINES
TO TALK OVER THE SITUATION WITH
COACH JOHN BELUSHI.

TO TALK OVER THE SITUATION WITH
COACH JOHN BELUSHI.
YOU KNOW, BELUSHI'S KNOWN AS A

COACH JOHN BELUSHI.
YOU KNOW, BELUSHI'S KNOWN AS A
VERY EVEN-TEMPERED, KIND OF A

YOU KNOW, BELUSHI'S KNOWN AS A
VERY EVEN-TEMPERED, KIND OF A
STOIC KIND OF A GUY, BUT HE'S

VERY EVEN-TEMPERED, KIND OF A
STOIC KIND OF A GUY, BUT HE'S
GOT ONE OF THE WINNINGEST

STOIC KIND OF A GUY, BUT HE'S
GOT ONE OF THE WINNINGEST
RECORDS IN THE ENTIRE NETWORK.

GOT ONE OF THE WINNINGEST
RECORDS IN THE ENTIRE NETWORK.
SO, HE'S THE KIND OF GUY YOU'RE

RECORDS IN THE ENTIRE NETWORK.
SO, HE'S THE KIND OF GUY YOU'RE
NOT GONNA LET LOOSE OR THE KIND

SO, HE'S THE KIND OF GUY YOU'RE
NOT GONNA LET LOOSE OR THE KIND
OF GUY YOU'RE GONNA PAY A LOT OF

NOT GONNA LET LOOSE OR THE KIND
OF GUY YOU'RE GONNA PAY A LOT OF
ATTENTION TO.

OF GUY YOU'RE GONNA PAY A LOT OF
ATTENTION TO.
IT LOOKS LIKE THEY DECIDED ON

ATTENTION TO.
IT LOOKS LIKE THEY DECIDED ON
SOME KIND OF PLAN OF ACTION OVER

IT LOOKS LIKE THEY DECIDED ON
SOME KIND OF PLAN OF ACTION OVER
THERE, BUT... NOW, WAIT A

SOME KIND OF PLAN OF ACTION OVER
THERE, BUT... NOW, WAIT A
SECOND.

THERE, BUT... NOW, WAIT A
SECOND.
IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING BACK TO

SECOND.
IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING BACK TO
THE SIDELINES.

IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOING BACK TO
THE SIDELINES.
APPARENTLY THEY'RE GONNA

THE SIDELINES.
APPARENTLY THEY'RE GONNA
DOUBLE-CHECK ON SOMETHING.

APPARENTLY THEY'RE GONNA
DOUBLE-CHECK ON SOMETHING.
YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANY KIND

DOUBLE-CHECK ON SOMETHING.
YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANY KIND
OF MISCOMMUNICATION AT THIS

YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANY KIND
OF MISCOMMUNICATION AT THIS
STAGE.

OF MISCOMMUNICATION AT THIS
STAGE.
CERTAINLY YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE

STAGE.
CERTAINLY YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE
THAT THERE'S NO

CERTAINLY YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE
THAT THERE'S NO
MISINTERPRETATION OF ANYTHING

THAT THERE'S NO
MISINTERPRETATION OF ANYTHING
THAT'S GOING ON.

MISINTERPRETATION OF ANYTHING
THAT'S GOING ON.
YOU KNOW, TARKENTON, THEY CALL

THAT'S GOING ON.
YOU KNOW, TARKENTON, THEY CALL
HIM THE LITTLEST VIKING, BUT IT

YOU KNOW, TARKENTON, THEY CALL
HIM THE LITTLEST VIKING, BUT IT
JUST SO HAPPENS THAT HE'S GOT A

HIM THE LITTLEST VIKING, BUT IT
JUST SO HAPPENS THAT HE'S GOT A
HUGE, HUGE OLDSMOBILE THAT HE

JUST SO HAPPENS THAT HE'S GOT A
HUGE, HUGE OLDSMOBILE THAT HE
LIKES TO DRIVE AROUND AND JUST

HUGE, HUGE OLDSMOBILE THAT HE
LIKES TO DRIVE AROUND AND JUST
RUN INTO PARKING METERS.

LIKES TO DRIVE AROUND AND JUST
RUN INTO PARKING METERS.
IT'S A FUNNY STORY, BUT WE CAN'T

RUN INTO PARKING METERS.
IT'S A FUNNY STORY, BUT WE CAN'T
TELL IT NOW.

IT'S A FUNNY STORY, BUT WE CAN'T
TELL IT NOW.
HE SEEMS TO BE CONFIDENT NOW,

TELL IT NOW.
HE SEEMS TO BE CONFIDENT NOW,
AND HE'S RUNNING BACK FOR HIS

HE SEEMS TO BE CONFIDENT NOW,
AND HE'S RUNNING BACK FOR HIS
NEXT MOVE.

AND HE'S RUNNING BACK FOR HIS
NEXT MOVE.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

NEXT MOVE.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
HOW ABOUT A DRINK?

[WHISTLE BLOWS]
HOW ABOUT A DRINK?
OH, THANK YOU.

HOW ABOUT A DRINK?
OH, THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY WEIRD THE

OH, THANK YOU.
YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY WEIRD THE
WAY HAIR COLLECTS IN MY

YOU KNOW, IT'S REALLY WEIRD THE
WAY HAIR COLLECTS IN MY
HAIRBRUSH.

WAY HAIR COLLECTS IN MY
HAIRBRUSH.
YEAH, UH, THERE.

HAIRBRUSH.
YEAH, UH, THERE.
THAT'S BETTER.

YEAH, UH, THERE.
THAT'S BETTER.
LIKE, MAYBE YOU NEVER THOUGHT

THAT'S BETTER.
LIKE, MAYBE YOU NEVER THOUGHT
OF IT THIS WAY, BUT, LIKE,

LIKE, MAYBE YOU NEVER THOUGHT
OF IT THIS WAY, BUT, LIKE,
FOOTBALL'S SUCH A TERRITORIAL

OF IT THIS WAY, BUT, LIKE,
FOOTBALL'S SUCH A TERRITORIAL
THING.

FOOTBALL'S SUCH A TERRITORIAL
THING.
I PERCEIVE IT AS A VERY MALE

THING.
I PERCEIVE IT AS A VERY MALE
TRIP.

I PERCEIVE IT AS A VERY MALE
TRIP.
YEAH, IT CAN GET PRETTY ROUGH

TRIP.
YEAH, IT CAN GET PRETTY ROUGH
OUT THERE.

YEAH, IT CAN GET PRETTY ROUGH
OUT THERE.
OH, I HATE VIOLENCE.

OUT THERE.
OH, I HATE VIOLENCE.
I REALLY HATE IT.

OH, I HATE VIOLENCE.
I REALLY HATE IT.
I MEAN, I'M SO SENSITIVE, YOU

I REALLY HATE IT.
I MEAN, I'M SO SENSITIVE, YOU
KNOW?

I MEAN, I'M SO SENSITIVE, YOU
KNOW?
AND, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF WOMEN

KNOW?
AND, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF WOMEN
DON'T LIKE ME.

AND, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF WOMEN
DON'T LIKE ME.
I MEAN, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY.

DON'T LIKE ME.
I MEAN, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY.
AND, LIKE, IT REALLY DEPRESSES

I MEAN, YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY.
AND, LIKE, IT REALLY DEPRESSES
ME.

AND, LIKE, IT REALLY DEPRESSES
ME.
I MEAN, SOMETIMES I WOULD LIKE

ME.
I MEAN, SOMETIMES I WOULD LIKE
TO TAKE A RAZOR BLADE AND SLICE

I MEAN, SOMETIMES I WOULD LIKE
TO TAKE A RAZOR BLADE AND SLICE
UP MY FACE.

TO TAKE A RAZOR BLADE AND SLICE
UP MY FACE.
UH...

UP MY FACE.
UH...
YEAH.

UH...
YEAH.
UM, YOU MIND IF I LIE DOWN?

YEAH.
UM, YOU MIND IF I LIE DOWN?
OH, OUTRAGEOUS!

UM, YOU MIND IF I LIE DOWN?
OH, OUTRAGEOUS!
I HAD THIS PREMONITION OF ME

OH, OUTRAGEOUS!
I HAD THIS PREMONITION OF ME
UNFOLDING IN FRONT OF YOU LIKE A

I HAD THIS PREMONITION OF ME
UNFOLDING IN FRONT OF YOU LIKE A
FLOWER WHEN YOU WERE LYING DOWN.

UNFOLDING IN FRONT OF YOU LIKE A
FLOWER WHEN YOU WERE LYING DOWN.
OH, FAR OUT, MAN.

FLOWER WHEN YOU WERE LYING DOWN.
OH, FAR OUT, MAN.
FRAN, DOES IT EVER BOTHER YOU

OH, FAR OUT, MAN.
FRAN, DOES IT EVER BOTHER YOU
THAT YOU'RE CALLED FRAN?

FRAN, DOES IT EVER BOTHER YOU
THAT YOU'RE CALLED FRAN?
I MEAN, YOU KNOW ABOUT IN THAT

THAT YOU'RE CALLED FRAN?
I MEAN, YOU KNOW ABOUT IN THAT
SONG "A BOY NAMED SUE"?

I MEAN, YOU KNOW ABOUT IN THAT
SONG "A BOY NAMED SUE"?
WELL, LIKE, I WAS THINKING,

SONG "A BOY NAMED SUE"?
WELL, LIKE, I WAS THINKING,
LIKE, IF YOU HAVE A SON, YOU'LL

WELL, LIKE, I WAS THINKING,
LIKE, IF YOU HAVE A SON, YOU'LL
NAME HIM BILL OR GEORGE OR

LIKE, IF YOU HAVE A SON, YOU'LL
NAME HIM BILL OR GEORGE OR
FRANK... ANYTHING BUT FRAN.

NAME HIM BILL OR GEORGE OR
FRANK... ANYTHING BUT FRAN.
YOU LIKE MUSIC, HUH?

FRANK... ANYTHING BUT FRAN.
YOU LIKE MUSIC, HUH?
I GOT MY CASSETTE PLAYER WITH ME

YOU LIKE MUSIC, HUH?
I GOT MY CASSETTE PLAYER WITH ME
OVER HERE.

I GOT MY CASSETTE PLAYER WITH ME
OVER HERE.
UH...

OVER HERE.
UH...
♪ LAY, LADY, LAY ♪

UH...
♪ LAY, LADY, LAY ♪
OH, WOW!

♪ LAY, LADY, LAY ♪
OH, WOW!
I JUST KNEW YOU'D BE INTO DYLAN.

OH, WOW!
I JUST KNEW YOU'D BE INTO DYLAN.
YOU KNOW, I AM SO PSYCHIC THAT

I JUST KNEW YOU'D BE INTO DYLAN.
YOU KNOW, I AM SO PSYCHIC THAT
IT'S FRIGHTENING.

YOU KNOW, I AM SO PSYCHIC THAT
IT'S FRIGHTENING.
YOU KNOW, MY BACK'S A BIT

IT'S FRIGHTENING.
YOU KNOW, MY BACK'S A BIT
SORE.

YOU KNOW, MY BACK'S A BIT
SORE.
I THINK I'LL START UP THE MAGIC

SORE.
I THINK I'LL START UP THE MAGIC
FINGERS HERE.

I THINK I'LL START UP THE MAGIC
FINGERS HERE.
FRAN?

FINGERS HERE.
FRAN?
WHY DO THEY CALL YOU THE

FRAN?
WHY DO THEY CALL YOU THE
SCRAMBLER?

WHY DO THEY CALL YOU THE
SCRAMBLER?
I DON'T KNOW.

SCRAMBLER?
I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS 'CAUSE I SCRAMBLE AROUND

I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS 'CAUSE I SCRAMBLE AROUND
A LOT.

I GUESS 'CAUSE I SCRAMBLE AROUND
A LOT.
TELL ME ABOUT JOE NAMATH.

A LOT.
TELL ME ABOUT JOE NAMATH.
ALL RIGHT.

TELL ME ABOUT JOE NAMATH.
ALL RIGHT.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

ALL RIGHT.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
WELL, WITH ONLY A FEW SECONDS

[WHISTLE BLOWS]
WELL, WITH ONLY A FEW SECONDS
REMAINING, TARK HAS STEPPED OUT

WELL, WITH ONLY A FEW SECONDS
REMAINING, TARK HAS STEPPED OUT
OF BOUNDS AND STOPPED THE CLOCK.

REMAINING, TARK HAS STEPPED OUT
OF BOUNDS AND STOPPED THE CLOCK.
ONCE AGAIN, HE'S CONFERRING WITH

OF BOUNDS AND STOPPED THE CLOCK.
ONCE AGAIN, HE'S CONFERRING WITH
COACH JOHN BELUSHI.

ONCE AGAIN, HE'S CONFERRING WITH
COACH JOHN BELUSHI.
GONNA SEE IF HE CAN PUT SOME

COACH JOHN BELUSHI.
GONNA SEE IF HE CAN PUT SOME
SCORING, MAYBE, ON THE CLOCK

GONNA SEE IF HE CAN PUT SOME
SCORING, MAYBE, ON THE CLOCK
SCORE JUST BEFORE THE CLOCK RUNS

SCORING, MAYBE, ON THE CLOCK
SCORE JUST BEFORE THE CLOCK RUNS
OUT HERE IN THE FIRST HALF, YOU

SCORE JUST BEFORE THE CLOCK RUNS
OUT HERE IN THE FIRST HALF, YOU
KNOW?

OUT HERE IN THE FIRST HALF, YOU
KNOW?
IT'S A REAL PSYCHOLOGICAL DEFEAT

KNOW?
IT'S A REAL PSYCHOLOGICAL DEFEAT
TO GO ALL THE WAY DOWN AND GET

IT'S A REAL PSYCHOLOGICAL DEFEAT
TO GO ALL THE WAY DOWN AND GET
THIS FAR AND NOT SCORE WITH ALL

TO GO ALL THE WAY DOWN AND GET
THIS FAR AND NOT SCORE WITH ALL
THIS WORK INVOLVED.

THIS FAR AND NOT SCORE WITH ALL
THIS WORK INVOLVED.
BUT TARKENTON'S A PRO.

THIS WORK INVOLVED.
BUT TARKENTON'S A PRO.
HE'S BEEN THERE BEFORE.

BUT TARKENTON'S A PRO.
HE'S BEEN THERE BEFORE.
HE'S THE KIND OF GUY WHO HITS

HE'S BEEN THERE BEFORE.
HE'S THE KIND OF GUY WHO HITS
AND HITS HARD AND KEEPS COMING.

HE'S THE KIND OF GUY WHO HITS
AND HITS HARD AND KEEPS COMING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,

AND HITS HARD AND KEEPS COMING.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
HE'S THE KIND OF GUY WHO GOES

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
HE'S THE KIND OF GUY WHO GOES
ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, AND

HE'S THE KIND OF GUY WHO GOES
ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, AND
THE KIND OF GUY WHO LIKES TO

ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, AND
THE KIND OF GUY WHO LIKES TO
COME BACK LATE AFTER PRACTICE,

THE KIND OF GUY WHO LIKES TO
COME BACK LATE AFTER PRACTICE,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING

COME BACK LATE AFTER PRACTICE,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT.

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING
ABOUT.
BACK TO THE ACTION.

ABOUT.
BACK TO THE ACTION.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

ALICE?

WHAT, FRAN?

WANT TO GO TO BED?

SURE.

[GUNSHOT]

WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY BEEN AN
EXCITING FIRST HALF OF COMEDY
HERE IN THE RCA BUILDING.

EXCITING FIRST HALF OF COMEDY
HERE IN THE RCA BUILDING.
HELLO, I'M LEE WHITEHEAD.

HERE IN THE RCA BUILDING.
HELLO, I'M LEE WHITEHEAD.
AND I'M BRIAN GUMBO.

HELLO, I'M LEE WHITEHEAD.
AND I'M BRIAN GUMBO.
WE'LL HAVE SOME OF THE

AND I'M BRIAN GUMBO.
WE'LL HAVE SOME OF THE
FIRST-HALF HIGHLIGHTS WITH

WE'LL HAVE SOME OF THE
FIRST-HALF HIGHLIGHTS WITH
FRAN TARKENTON AFTER THIS

FIRST-HALF HIGHLIGHTS WITH
FRAN TARKENTON AFTER THIS
MESSAGE.

[MELANCHOLY ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS]

CARRY IT WITH YOU.
All: ♪ THE FRESH BIG FLAVOR ♪

HI, WELCOME BACK TO
"GRANDSTAND."
WE'RE TALKING WITH

"GRANDSTAND."
WE'RE TALKING WITH
FRAN TARKENTON, HOST FOR

WE'RE TALKING WITH
FRAN TARKENTON, HOST FOR
"SATURDAY NIGHT."

FRAN TARKENTON, HOST FOR
"SATURDAY NIGHT."
FRAN, YOU HAD A PRETTY GOOD

"SATURDAY NIGHT."
FRAN, YOU HAD A PRETTY GOOD
FIRST HALF.

FRAN, YOU HAD A PRETTY GOOD
FIRST HALF.
YOU COMPLETED 11 OUT OF 16 JOKES

FIRST HALF.
YOU COMPLETED 11 OUT OF 16 JOKES
FOR A TOTAL OF 97 LAUGHS.

YOU COMPLETED 11 OUT OF 16 JOKES
FOR A TOTAL OF 97 LAUGHS.
NOW, SOME OF THE JOKES HAVE BEEN

FOR A TOTAL OF 97 LAUGHS.
NOW, SOME OF THE JOKES HAVE BEEN
PRETTY HARD-HITTING.

NOW, SOME OF THE JOKES HAVE BEEN
PRETTY HARD-HITTING.
DO YOU THINK THIS IS A DIRTY

PRETTY HARD-HITTING.
DO YOU THINK THIS IS A DIRTY
SHOW?

DO YOU THINK THIS IS A DIRTY
SHOW?
WELL, IT APPEARS THAT FRAN

SHOW?
WELL, IT APPEARS THAT FRAN
CANNOT HEAR US.

WELL, IT APPEARS THAT FRAN
CANNOT HEAR US.
WE'LL HAVE THAT INTERVIEW IN

CANNOT HEAR US.
WE'LL HAVE THAT INTERVIEW IN
JUST A FEW MOMENTS.

WE'LL HAVE THAT INTERVIEW IN
JUST A FEW MOMENTS.
BUT FIRST LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT

JUST A FEW MOMENTS.
BUT FIRST LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT
THE "SATURDAY NIGHT" BLIMP,

BUT FIRST LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT
THE "SATURDAY NIGHT" BLIMP,
WHICH IS NOW ABOVE THE STUDIO.

THE "SATURDAY NIGHT" BLIMP,
WHICH IS NOW ABOVE THE STUDIO.
AND THE BLIMP, OF COURSE, IS

WHICH IS NOW ABOVE THE STUDIO.
AND THE BLIMP, OF COURSE, IS
JUST A SMALL PART OF THE AMAZING

AND THE BLIMP, OF COURSE, IS
JUST A SMALL PART OF THE AMAZING
TECHNOLOGICAL HOOKUP WHICH

JUST A SMALL PART OF THE AMAZING
TECHNOLOGICAL HOOKUP WHICH
BRINGS US "SATURDAY NIGHT."

TECHNOLOGICAL HOOKUP WHICH
BRINGS US "SATURDAY NIGHT."
EXCUSE ME.

BRINGS US "SATURDAY NIGHT."
EXCUSE ME.
I THINK FRAN CAN HEAR US NOW.

EXCUSE ME.
I THINK FRAN CAN HEAR US NOW.
IS THAT CORRECT, FRAN?

I THINK FRAN CAN HEAR US NOW.
IS THAT CORRECT, FRAN?
WE'VE GOT FRAN HERE.

IS THAT CORRECT, FRAN?
WE'VE GOT FRAN HERE.
HELLO, FRAN? FRAN.

WE'VE GOT FRAN HERE.
HELLO, FRAN? FRAN.
I GUESS WE'RE NOT READY YET FOR

HELLO, FRAN? FRAN.
I GUESS WE'RE NOT READY YET FOR
THAT INTERVIEW WITH

I GUESS WE'RE NOT READY YET FOR
THAT INTERVIEW WITH
FRAN TARKENTON.

THAT INTERVIEW WITH
FRAN TARKENTON.
AND WHILE WE WAIT, LET'S LOOK

FRAN TARKENTON.
AND WHILE WE WAIT, LET'S LOOK
AT SOME HIGHLIGHTS FROM A SHOW

AND WHILE WE WAIT, LET'S LOOK
AT SOME HIGHLIGHTS FROM A SHOW
THAT IS ALREADY IN PROGRESS ON

AT SOME HIGHLIGHTS FROM A SHOW
THAT IS ALREADY IN PROGRESS ON
ABC.

THAT IS ALREADY IN PROGRESS ON
ABC.
THEIR LATE-NIGHT MOVIE IS

ABC.
THEIR LATE-NIGHT MOVIE IS
"THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT, PART 10."

THEIR LATE-NIGHT MOVIE IS
"THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT, PART 10."
THEY HAD AN EXCITING SCENE FROM

"THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT, PART 10."
THEY HAD AN EXCITING SCENE FROM
"EVERY MAN'S HOME."

THEY HAD AN EXCITING SCENE FROM
"EVERY MAN'S HOME."
LET'S LOOK AT THAT.

♪ IT'S A BIG, WIDE, WONDERFUL

WORLD YOU LIVE IN ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE IN LOVE, YOU'RE A

MASTER OF ALL YOU SURVEY ♪

♪ YOU'RE A GAY SANTA CLAUS ♪
♪ IT'S SWELL WHEN YOU'RE REALLY
IN LOVE ♪

♪ IT'S SWELL WHEN YOU'RE REALLY
IN LOVE ♪
AND, OF COURSE, WE'LL BE

IN LOVE ♪
AND, OF COURSE, WE'LL BE
KEEPING YOU POSTED ON ANY

AND, OF COURSE, WE'LL BE
KEEPING YOU POSTED ON ANY
DEVELOPMENTS IN THAT SHOW.

KEEPING YOU POSTED ON ANY
DEVELOPMENTS IN THAT SHOW.
I UNDERSTAND THAT FRAN CAN HEAR

DEVELOPMENTS IN THAT SHOW.
I UNDERSTAND THAT FRAN CAN HEAR
US NOW, SO, FRAN, IS THAT RIGHT?

I UNDERSTAND THAT FRAN CAN HEAR
US NOW, SO, FRAN, IS THAT RIGHT?
CAN YOU HEAR US?

US NOW, SO, FRAN, IS THAT RIGHT?
CAN YOU HEAR US?
HELLO, BUDDY.

CAN YOU HEAR US?
HELLO, BUDDY.
[LAUGHS]

HELLO, BUDDY.
[LAUGHS]
WELL, SO, FRAN CAN'T HEAR, SO

[LAUGHS]
WELL, SO, FRAN CAN'T HEAR, SO
LET'S TAKE IT DOWN TO THE FLOOR

WELL, SO, FRAN CAN'T HEAR, SO
LET'S TAKE IT DOWN TO THE FLOOR
TO HOWARD SHORE AND HIS BAND FOR

LET'S TAKE IT DOWN TO THE FLOOR
TO HOWARD SHORE AND HIS BAND FOR
SOME OF THAT HALFTIME PAGEANTRY.

TO HOWARD SHORE AND HIS BAND FOR
SOME OF THAT HALFTIME PAGEANTRY.
AND NOW THE WHITE PLAINS

SOME OF THAT HALFTIME PAGEANTRY.
AND NOW THE WHITE PLAINS
MARCHING BAND SALUTES BLIND

AND NOW THE WHITE PLAINS
MARCHING BAND SALUTES BLIND
NON-WHITE AMERICAN COMPOSERS.

MARCHING BAND SALUTES BLIND
NON-WHITE AMERICAN COMPOSERS.
TO BEGIN OUR TRIBUTE, THE BAND

NON-WHITE AMERICAN COMPOSERS.
TO BEGIN OUR TRIBUTE, THE BAND
WILL PERFORM "YOU ARE THE

TO BEGIN OUR TRIBUTE, THE BAND
WILL PERFORM "YOU ARE THE
SUNSHINE OF MY LIFE" WHILE

WILL PERFORM "YOU ARE THE
SUNSHINE OF MY LIFE" WHILE
FORMING A PAIR OF GIANT

SUNSHINE OF MY LIFE" WHILE
FORMING A PAIR OF GIANT
SUNGLASSES IN THE CENTER OF THE

FORMING A PAIR OF GIANT
SUNGLASSES IN THE CENTER OF THE
FIELD.

SUNGLASSES IN THE CENTER OF THE
FIELD.
A HARD-HITTING SHOW.

FIELD.
A HARD-HITTING SHOW.
DO YOU THINK THIS IS A DIRTY

A HARD-HITTING SHOW.
DO YOU THINK THIS IS A DIRTY
SHOW, FRAN?

DO YOU THINK THIS IS A DIRTY
SHOW, FRAN?
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

SHOW, FRAN?
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
I THINK IT'S GOOD, CLEAN COMEDY.

NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
I THINK IT'S GOOD, CLEAN COMEDY.
NO ONE'S TAKING ANY CHEAP SHOTS

I THINK IT'S GOOD, CLEAN COMEDY.
NO ONE'S TAKING ANY CHEAP SHOTS
OUT THERE, EXCEPT MAYBE THE

NO ONE'S TAKING ANY CHEAP SHOTS
OUT THERE, EXCEPT MAYBE THE
STEVIE WONDER JOKE WE JUST

OUT THERE, EXCEPT MAYBE THE
STEVIE WONDER JOKE WE JUST
HEARD.

STEVIE WONDER JOKE WE JUST
HEARD.
I HOPE STEVIE'S NOT HURT.

HEARD.
I HOPE STEVIE'S NOT HURT.
SPEAKING OF CHEAP SHOTS, WHEN

I HOPE STEVIE'S NOT HURT.
SPEAKING OF CHEAP SHOTS, WHEN
DON MEREDITH ANNOUNCED DURING

SPEAKING OF CHEAP SHOTS, WHEN
DON MEREDITH ANNOUNCED DURING
THE SUPER BOWL THAT YOU WERE

DON MEREDITH ANNOUNCED DURING
THE SUPER BOWL THAT YOU WERE
GOING TO HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT,"

THE SUPER BOWL THAT YOU WERE
GOING TO HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT,"
HE SAID THAT YOU'VE GONE A LONG

GOING TO HOST "SATURDAY NIGHT,"
HE SAID THAT YOU'VE GONE A LONG
WAY WITH NO TALENT.

HE SAID THAT YOU'VE GONE A LONG
WAY WITH NO TALENT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

WAY WITH NO TALENT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
WELL, I'M NOT A VINDICTIVE

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
WELL, I'M NOT A VINDICTIVE
KIND OF GUY, BUT THERE ARE THREE

WELL, I'M NOT A VINDICTIVE
KIND OF GUY, BUT THERE ARE THREE
ACTIVE QUARTERBACKS IN THE NFL

KIND OF GUY, BUT THERE ARE THREE
ACTIVE QUARTERBACKS IN THE NFL
WHO ARE GAY, AND WHEN DON WAS

ACTIVE QUARTERBACKS IN THE NFL
WHO ARE GAY, AND WHEN DON WAS
PLAYING, THERE WERE FOUR.

WHO ARE GAY, AND WHEN DON WAS
PLAYING, THERE WERE FOUR.
OKAY, FRAN.

PLAYING, THERE WERE FOUR.
OKAY, FRAN.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME

OKAY, FRAN.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME
HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE FIRST HALF.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME
HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE FIRST HALF.
NOW, THIS WAS EARLY ON IN THE

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE FIRST HALF.
NOW, THIS WAS EARLY ON IN THE
SHOW, AND I BELIEVE IT WAS YOUR

NOW, THIS WAS EARLY ON IN THE
SHOW, AND I BELIEVE IT WAS YOUR
FIRST BIG LAUGH.

SHOW, AND I BELIEVE IT WAS YOUR
FIRST BIG LAUGH.
YES, I'D SAY THIS WAS

FIRST BIG LAUGH.
YES, I'D SAY THIS WAS
DEFINITELY THE TURNING POINT OF

YES, I'D SAY THIS WAS
DEFINITELY THE TURNING POINT OF
THE FIRST QUARTER.

DEFINITELY THE TURNING POINT OF
THE FIRST QUARTER.
JOHN BELUSHI SET ME UP JUST

THE FIRST QUARTER.
JOHN BELUSHI SET ME UP JUST
BEAUTIFULLY, AND I WENT IN FOR

JOHN BELUSHI SET ME UP JUST
BEAUTIFULLY, AND I WENT IN FOR
THE LAUGH UNTOUCHED.

BEAUTIFULLY, AND I WENT IN FOR
THE LAUGH UNTOUCHED.
YEAH...

THE LAUGH UNTOUCHED.
YEAH...
BEAUTIFUL.

YEAH...
BEAUTIFUL.
WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHAT'S

BEAUTIFUL.
WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHAT'S
HAPPENING IN THIS SCENE RIGHT

WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHAT'S
HAPPENING IN THIS SCENE RIGHT
HERE?

HAPPENING IN THIS SCENE RIGHT
HERE?
WELL, I'M GETTING THE TIME TO

HERE?
WELL, I'M GETTING THE TIME TO
GET MY JOKES OFF, AND I'M

WELL, I'M GETTING THE TIME TO
GET MY JOKES OFF, AND I'M
CONNECTING WITH THE AUDIENCE.

GET MY JOKES OFF, AND I'M
CONNECTING WITH THE AUDIENCE.
AND I HOPE TO DO A LOT MORE OF

CONNECTING WITH THE AUDIENCE.
AND I HOPE TO DO A LOT MORE OF
THAT BEFORE THE SHOW'S OVER.

AND I HOPE TO DO A LOT MORE OF
THAT BEFORE THE SHOW'S OVER.
TERRIFIC STEROID BIT IF I

THAT BEFORE THE SHOW'S OVER.
TERRIFIC STEROID BIT IF I
MAY SAY SO.

TERRIFIC STEROID BIT IF I
MAY SAY SO.
YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD HERE.

MAY SAY SO.
YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD HERE.
NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.

YOU LOOK PRETTY GOOD HERE.
NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.
WHAT'S THIS NEXT PIECE OF TAPE

NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.
WHAT'S THIS NEXT PIECE OF TAPE
WE'RE GONNA SEE HERE?

WHAT'S THIS NEXT PIECE OF TAPE
WE'RE GONNA SEE HERE?
OH, YEAH, YOU LOOK REAL GOOD

WE'RE GONNA SEE HERE?
OH, YEAH, YOU LOOK REAL GOOD
HERE.

OH, YEAH, YOU LOOK REAL GOOD
HERE.
YOU WANT TO TELL US ABOUT THE

HERE.
YOU WANT TO TELL US ABOUT THE
KIND OF CONDITION YOU HAD TO BE

YOU WANT TO TELL US ABOUT THE
KIND OF CONDITION YOU HAD TO BE
IN TO PULL THIS ONE OFF?

KIND OF CONDITION YOU HAD TO BE
IN TO PULL THIS ONE OFF?
I THINK CONDITION'S A BIG

IN TO PULL THIS ONE OFF?
I THINK CONDITION'S A BIG
FACTOR, AND THAT'S WHY THE

I THINK CONDITION'S A BIG
FACTOR, AND THAT'S WHY THE
SHOW'S SO FUNNY TONIGHT.

FACTOR, AND THAT'S WHY THE
SHOW'S SO FUNNY TONIGHT.
[LAUGHS]

SHOW'S SO FUNNY TONIGHT.
[LAUGHS]
WELL, THANK YOU, FRAN.

[LAUGHS]
WELL, THANK YOU, FRAN.
AND THOSE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS.

WELL, THANK YOU, FRAN.
AND THOSE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS.
AND WE HOPE THAT YOU'RE GONNA

AND THOSE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS.
AND WE HOPE THAT YOU'RE GONNA
CONTINUE TO BE FUNNY FOR US IN

AND WE HOPE THAT YOU'RE GONNA
CONTINUE TO BE FUNNY FOR US IN
THE SECOND HALF OR ELSE...

CONTINUE TO BE FUNNY FOR US IN
THE SECOND HALF OR ELSE...
THANK YOU, LEE AND BRIAN.

THE SECOND HALF OR ELSE...
THANK YOU, LEE AND BRIAN.
YEAH, AND THAT'S

THANK YOU, LEE AND BRIAN.
YEAH, AND THAT'S
"GRANDSTAND."

YEAH, AND THAT'S
"GRANDSTAND."
THANK YOU, LEE, FOR ANCHORING.

"GRANDSTAND."
THANK YOU, LEE, FOR ANCHORING.
THANK YOU, BRIAN, FOR

THANK YOU, LEE, FOR ANCHORING.
THANK YOU, BRIAN, FOR
PROVIDING THE COLOR.

Announcer: THE PRECEDING

BROADCAST IS THE PROPERTY OF THE

NATIONAL COMEDY LEAGUE.

ANY REPRODUCTION OR REBROADCAST

WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN

CONSENT OF THE NLC IS STRICTLY

PROHIBITED BY COMMON SENSE.

ONCE AGAIN, HERE'S LEO SAYER.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[INTRODUCTION TO "YOU MAKE ME

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[INTRODUCTION TO "YOU MAKE ME
FEEL LIKE DANCING" PLAYS]

[INTRODUCTION TO "YOU MAKE ME
FEEL LIKE DANCING" PLAYS]
♪ AHH ♪

[FEEL LIKE DANCING" PLAYS]
♪ AHH ♪
♪ A-A-AHH ♪

♪ AHH ♪
♪ A-A-AHH ♪
♪ AHH ♪

♪ A-A-AHH ♪
♪ AHH ♪
♪ A-A-AHH ♪

♪ AHH ♪
♪ A-A-AHH ♪
♪ YOU'VE GOT A CUTE WAY OF

♪ A-A-AHH ♪
♪ YOU'VE GOT A CUTE WAY OF
TALKING ♪

♪ YOU'VE GOT A CUTE WAY OF
TALKING ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE BETTER OF ME ♪

TALKING ♪
♪ YOU GOT THE BETTER OF ME ♪
♪ JUST SNAP YOUR FINGERS, AND

♪ YOU GOT THE BETTER OF ME ♪
♪ JUST SNAP YOUR FINGERS, AND
I'M WALKING ♪

♪ JUST SNAP YOUR FINGERS, AND
I'M WALKING ♪
♪ LIKE A DOG HANGING ON YOUR

I'M WALKING ♪
♪ LIKE A DOG HANGING ON YOUR
LEAD ♪

♪ LIKE A DOG HANGING ON YOUR
LEAD ♪
♪ I'M IN A SPIN, YOU KNOW ♪

LEAD ♪
♪ I'M IN A SPIN, YOU KNOW ♪
♪ SHAKING ON A STRING,

♪ I'M IN A SPIN, YOU KNOW ♪
♪ SHAKING ON A STRING,
YOU KNOW ♪

♪ SHAKING ON A STRING,
YOU KNOW ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

YOU KNOW ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT

DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪

♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT

DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪

♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪

DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
WHOO!

♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
WHOO!
♪ DANCING ♪

WHOO!
♪ DANCING ♪
♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪

♪ DANCING ♪
♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪

♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ DANCING ♪

♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ DANCING ♪
♪ AHH A-AHH A-AHH ♪

♪ DANCING ♪
♪ AHH A-AHH A-AHH ♪
♪ QUARTER TO 4:00 IN THE

♪ AHH A-AHH A-AHH ♪
♪ QUARTER TO 4:00 IN THE
MORNING ♪

♪ QUARTER TO 4:00 IN THE
MORNING ♪
♪ I AIN'T FEELING TIRED ♪

MORNING ♪
♪ I AIN'T FEELING TIRED ♪
♪ NO, NO, NO, NO, NO ♪

♪ I AIN'T FEELING TIRED ♪
♪ NO, NO, NO, NO, NO ♪
♪ JUST HOLD ME TIGHT AND LEAVE

♪ NO, NO, NO, NO, NO ♪
♪ JUST HOLD ME TIGHT AND LEAVE
ON THE LIGHT ♪

♪ JUST HOLD ME TIGHT AND LEAVE
ON THE LIGHT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO

ON THE LIGHT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO
HOME ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GO
HOME ♪
♪ YOU PUT A SPELL ON ME ♪

HOME ♪
♪ YOU PUT A SPELL ON ME ♪
♪ I'M RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT ME TO

♪ YOU PUT A SPELL ON ME ♪
♪ I'M RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT ME TO
BE ♪

♪ I'M RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT ME TO
BE ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

BE ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT

DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪

♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT

DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪

♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪

DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
WHOO!

♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
WHOO!
♪ DANCING ♪

WHOO!
♪ DANCING ♪
♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪

♪ DANCING ♪
♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪

♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ DANCING ♪

♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ DANCING ♪
♪ AHH A-AHH A-AHH ♪

♪ DANCING ♪
♪ AHH A-AHH A-AHH ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO ♪

♪ AHH A-AHH A-AHH ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO DO ♪

♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO DO ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO ♪

♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO DO ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO DO ♪

♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO DO ♪
♪ OH, YEAH ♪

♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO DO ♪
♪ OH, YEAH ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO ♪

♪ OH, YEAH ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO DO ♪

♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO ♪
♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO DO ♪
♪ YOU TAKE ME HIGHER ♪

♪ DO-DO-DO-DO DO DO DO-DO DO ♪
♪ YOU TAKE ME HIGHER ♪
♪ I WANT TO CATCH ON FIRE

♪ YOU TAKE ME HIGHER ♪
♪ I WANT TO CATCH ON FIRE
'CAUSE ♪

♪ I WANT TO CATCH ON FIRE
'CAUSE ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

'CAUSE ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT

DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪

♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT

DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪

♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪

DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
WHOO!

♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
WHOO!
♪ DANCING ♪

WHOO!
♪ DANCING ♪
♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪

♪ DANCING ♪
♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪

♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ DANCING ♪

♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ DANCING ♪
♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪

♪ DANCING ♪
♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪

♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ DANCING ♪

♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ DANCING ♪
♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪

♪ DANCING ♪
♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪

♪ DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ DANCING ♪

♪ I FEEL LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ DANCING ♪
♪ AHH A-AHH A-AHH ♪

♪ DANCING ♪
♪ AHH A-AHH A-AHH ♪
♪ YOU REALLY SLIPPED ME A

♪ AHH A-AHH A-AHH ♪
♪ YOU REALLY SLIPPED ME A
POTION ♪

♪ YOU REALLY SLIPPED ME A
POTION ♪
♪ I CAN'T GET OFF OF THE FLOOR ♪

POTION ♪
♪ I CAN'T GET OFF OF THE FLOOR ♪
♪ ALL THIS PERPETUAL MOTION ♪

♪ I CAN'T GET OFF OF THE FLOOR ♪
♪ ALL THIS PERPETUAL MOTION ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO GIVE ME SOME MORE ♪

♪ ALL THIS PERPETUAL MOTION ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO GIVE ME SOME MORE ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO GIVE ME SOME MORE ♪

♪ YOU GOT TO GIVE ME SOME MORE ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO GIVE ME SOME MORE ♪
♪ AND IF YOU'LL LET ME STAY ♪

♪ YOU GOT TO GIVE ME SOME MORE ♪
♪ AND IF YOU'LL LET ME STAY ♪
♪ WE'LL DANCE OUR LIVES AWAY ♪

♪ AND IF YOU'LL LET ME STAY ♪
♪ WE'LL DANCE OUR LIVES AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

♪ WE'LL DANCE OUR LIVES AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT

DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪

♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT

DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪

♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE

AWAY ♪
♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪

♪ YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE
DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL ♪

DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL ♪
♪ JUST LIKE DANCING ♪

♪ I FEEL ♪
♪ JUST LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL ♪

♪ JUST LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL ♪
♪ JUST LIKE DANCING ♪

♪ I FEEL ♪
♪ JUST LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT

♪ JUST LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪

♪ I WANT TO DANCE THE NIGHT
AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL ♪

AWAY ♪
♪ I FEEL ♪
♪ JUST LIKE DANCING ♪

♪ I FEEL ♪
♪ JUST LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL! ♪

♪ JUST LIKE DANCING ♪
♪ I FEEL! ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NOW HERE'S THIS WEEK'S FILM
FROM GARY WEIS.

THIS IS SMALL WORLDS, AND WE
ARE, UM...
WE SET UP ENCLOSURES FOR ANIMALS

ARE, UM...
WE SET UP ENCLOSURES FOR ANIMALS
TO LIVE IN.

WE SET UP ENCLOSURES FOR ANIMALS
TO LIVE IN.
AND WE TRY TO MAKE THE

TO LIVE IN.
AND WE TRY TO MAKE THE
ENCLOSURES LOOK AS NATURAL AS

AND WE TRY TO MAKE THE
ENCLOSURES LOOK AS NATURAL AS
POSSIBLE.

ENCLOSURES LOOK AS NATURAL AS
POSSIBLE.
IN OTHER WORDS, WE TRY TO FIGURE

POSSIBLE.
IN OTHER WORDS, WE TRY TO FIGURE
OUT EXACTLY WHAT THE ANIMALS

IN OTHER WORDS, WE TRY TO FIGURE
OUT EXACTLY WHAT THE ANIMALS
NEED AND THEN TRY TO DUPLICATE

OUT EXACTLY WHAT THE ANIMALS
NEED AND THEN TRY TO DUPLICATE
THAT IN A VIVARIUM, WHICH A

NEED AND THEN TRY TO DUPLICATE
THAT IN A VIVARIUM, WHICH A
PERSON COULD HAVE IN THEIR

THAT IN A VIVARIUM, WHICH A
PERSON COULD HAVE IN THEIR
HOUSE.

PERSON COULD HAVE IN THEIR
HOUSE.
I THINK WE'RE THE ONLY STORE

HOUSE.
I THINK WE'RE THE ONLY STORE
LIKE THIS IN THE WORLD.

I THINK WE'RE THE ONLY STORE
LIKE THIS IN THE WORLD.
HE'S VERY UNUSUAL IN THAT

LIKE THIS IN THE WORLD.
HE'S VERY UNUSUAL IN THAT
HE'S VERY FRIENDLY.

HE'S VERY UNUSUAL IN THAT
HE'S VERY FRIENDLY.
HE LOVES PEOPLE AND RESPONDS...

HE'S VERY FRIENDLY.
HE LOVES PEOPLE AND RESPONDS...
FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU ASK HIM TO

HE LOVES PEOPLE AND RESPONDS...
FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU ASK HIM TO
SAY HELLO, HE'LL SIT UP HERE.

FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU ASK HIM TO
SAY HELLO, HE'LL SIT UP HERE.
SAY HELLO, BULLY. GO AHEAD.

SAY HELLO, HE'LL SIT UP HERE.
SAY HELLO, BULLY. GO AHEAD.
[BULLY CROAKS]

SAY HELLO, BULLY. GO AHEAD.
[BULLY CROAKS]
LOUDER.

[BULLY CROAKS]
LOUDER.
[BULLY CROAKS]

LOUDER.
[BULLY CROAKS]
GOOD.

[BULLY CROAKS]
GOOD.
[BULLY CROAKS]

GOOD.
[BULLY CROAKS]
THERE'S DEFINITELY A LEVEL OF

[BULLY CROAKS]
THERE'S DEFINITELY A LEVEL OF
COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THIS FROG

THERE'S DEFINITELY A LEVEL OF
COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THIS FROG
AND PEOPLE.

COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THIS FROG
AND PEOPLE.
FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU PUT YOUR

AND PEOPLE.
FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU PUT YOUR
FACE DOWN HERE AND YOU LOOK AT

FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU PUT YOUR
FACE DOWN HERE AND YOU LOOK AT
HIM, HE'LL JUMP RIGHT AT YOU.

FACE DOWN HERE AND YOU LOOK AT
HIM, HE'LL JUMP RIGHT AT YOU.
HE GETS VERY EXCITED.

HIM, HE'LL JUMP RIGHT AT YOU.
HE GETS VERY EXCITED.
ISN'T IT TRUE?

HE GETS VERY EXCITED.
ISN'T IT TRUE?
Isn't it true?

ISN'T IT TRUE?
Isn't it true?
HUH?

Isn't it true?
HUH?
HE'S NOT FOR SALE.

HUH?
HE'S NOT FOR SALE.
HE'S OUR PET.

HE'S NOT FOR SALE.
HE'S OUR PET.
WE'VE HAD HIM SINCE HE WAS VERY

HE'S OUR PET.
WE'VE HAD HIM SINCE HE WAS VERY
SMALL.

WE'VE HAD HIM SINCE HE WAS VERY
SMALL.
AND WE NAMED HIM BULLY BECAUSE

SMALL.
AND WE NAMED HIM BULLY BECAUSE
HE'S A BULLY.

AND WE NAMED HIM BULLY BECAUSE
HE'S A BULLY.
HE WILL NOT TOLERATE ANYBODY

HE'S A BULLY.
HE WILL NOT TOLERATE ANYBODY
ELSE DOWN IN HIS PART OF THE

HE WILL NOT TOLERATE ANYBODY
ELSE DOWN IN HIS PART OF THE
POND.

ELSE DOWN IN HIS PART OF THE
POND.
AND WE JUST HAVE A LOT OF FUN

POND.
AND WE JUST HAVE A LOT OF FUN
WITH HIM.

AND WE JUST HAVE A LOT OF FUN
WITH HIM.
HE'S CUTE.

WITH HIM.
HE'S CUTE.
[BULLY CROAKS]

HE'S CUTE.
[BULLY CROAKS]
HERE WE HAVE A RED RAT SNAKE,

[BULLY CROAKS]
HERE WE HAVE A RED RAT SNAKE,
OR A CORN SNAKE, WHICH I THINK

HERE WE HAVE A RED RAT SNAKE,
OR A CORN SNAKE, WHICH I THINK
IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF

OR A CORN SNAKE, WHICH I THINK
IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF
THE DOMESTIC SNAKES.

IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF
THE DOMESTIC SNAKES.
AND THEY GET VERY TAME.

THE DOMESTIC SNAKES.
AND THEY GET VERY TAME.
BUT EVEN THOUGH IT'S

AND THEY GET VERY TAME.
BUT EVEN THOUGH IT'S
UNBELIEVABLE, WE HAVE HAD PEOPLE

BUT EVEN THOUGH IT'S
UNBELIEVABLE, WE HAVE HAD PEOPLE
STEAL REPTILES FROM THE STORE,

UNBELIEVABLE, WE HAVE HAD PEOPLE
STEAL REPTILES FROM THE STORE,
PUT THEM IN THEIR POCKET, TAKE

STEAL REPTILES FROM THE STORE,
PUT THEM IN THEIR POCKET, TAKE
THEM OUT.

PUT THEM IN THEIR POCKET, TAKE
THEM OUT.
[BLUES MUSIC PLAYS]

IN TERMS OF HANDLING THESE
CREATURES, WE FIND, STRANGELY,
THAT WOMEN ARE MUCH MORE EAGER

CREATURES, WE FIND, STRANGELY,
THAT WOMEN ARE MUCH MORE EAGER
TO HANDLE THEM THAN MEN.

THAT WOMEN ARE MUCH MORE EAGER
TO HANDLE THEM THAN MEN.
A LOT OF MEN ARE QUITE SQUEAMISH

TO HANDLE THEM THAN MEN.
A LOT OF MEN ARE QUITE SQUEAMISH
ABOUT HOLDING THESE.

A LOT OF MEN ARE QUITE SQUEAMISH
ABOUT HOLDING THESE.
[BULLY CROAKS]

ABOUT HOLDING THESE.
[BULLY CROAKS]
YOU SEE, THERE'S NOTHING TO

[BULLY CROAKS]
YOU SEE, THERE'S NOTHING TO
WORRY ABOUT.

YOU SEE, THERE'S NOTHING TO
WORRY ABOUT.
TARANTULAS DON'T BITE.

WORRY ABOUT.
TARANTULAS DON'T BITE.
OW!

[SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

EVERY TIME YOU BUY A PERFUME,
ONE MILLION OTHER WOMEN ARE
BUYING THE SAME PERFUME.

ONE MILLION OTHER WOMEN ARE
BUYING THE SAME PERFUME.
BUT NOW THERE IS FRENCH LIQUID.

BUYING THE SAME PERFUME.
BUT NOW THERE IS FRENCH LIQUID.
ONE MILLION WOMEN CAN WEAR

BUT NOW THERE IS FRENCH LIQUID.
ONE MILLION WOMEN CAN WEAR
FRENCH LIQUID, AND IT WON'T

ONE MILLION WOMEN CAN WEAR
FRENCH LIQUID, AND IT WON'T
SMELL QUITE THE SAME ON ANY OF

FRENCH LIQUID, AND IT WON'T
SMELL QUITE THE SAME ON ANY OF
THEM.

SMELL QUITE THE SAME ON ANY OF
THEM.
FOR EXAMPLE, ON HER, IT SMELLS

THEM.
FOR EXAMPLE, ON HER, IT SMELLS
LIKE WILDFLOWERS.

FOR EXAMPLE, ON HER, IT SMELLS
LIKE WILDFLOWERS.
AND ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE

LIKE WILDFLOWERS.
AND ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE
TROPIC RAIN.

AND ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE
TROPIC RAIN.
ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE WARM

TROPIC RAIN.
ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE WARM
RABBIT PELLETS.

ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE WARM
RABBIT PELLETS.
ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE

RABBIT PELLETS.
ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE
CICELY TYSON'S TOOTHBRUSH.

ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE
CICELY TYSON'S TOOTHBRUSH.
ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE DEAD

CICELY TYSON'S TOOTHBRUSH.
ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE DEAD
OTTERS IN A DRAINPIPE.

ON HER, IT SMELLS LIKE DEAD
OTTERS IN A DRAINPIPE.
FRENCH LIQUID... VIVE LA

OTTERS IN A DRAINPIPE.
FRENCH LIQUID... VIVE LA
DIFFéRENCE.

"SATURDAY NIGHT" OFTEN
FEATURES NEW TALENT...
INDIVIDUALS OR GROUPS WHO HAVE

FEATURES NEW TALENT...
INDIVIDUALS OR GROUPS WHO HAVE
NEVER, NEVER APPEARED ON

INDIVIDUALS OR GROUPS WHO HAVE
NEVER, NEVER APPEARED ON
TELEVISION BEFORE.

NEVER, NEVER APPEARED ON
TELEVISION BEFORE.
AND I THINK YOU'RE GONNA ENJOY

TELEVISION BEFORE.
AND I THINK YOU'RE GONNA ENJOY
THIS NEXT GROUP.

AND I THINK YOU'RE GONNA ENJOY
THIS NEXT GROUP.
THEY'RE CALLED DONNIE HARPER AND

THIS NEXT GROUP.
THEY'RE CALLED DONNIE HARPER AND
THE VOICES OF AMERICA.

THEY'RE CALLED DONNIE HARPER AND
THE VOICES OF AMERICA.
[INTRODUCTION TO "SING A SONG"

THE VOICES OF AMERICA.
[INTRODUCTION TO "SING A SONG"
PLAYS]

♪ OH, OH, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, OH, YEAH ♪
♪ OOH ♪

♪ OH, OH, YEAH ♪
♪ OOH ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ OOH ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ SING A SONG ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ SING A SONG ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ SING A SONG ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ SING IT LOUD ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ SING IT LOUD ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ SING IT LOUD ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ SING IT LONG ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ SING IT LONG ♪
♪ SING OF GOOD TIMES, NOT BAD ♪

♪ SING IT LONG ♪
♪ SING OF GOOD TIMES, NOT BAD ♪
♪ EVERYBODY ♪

♪ SING OF GOOD TIMES, NOT BAD ♪
♪ EVERYBODY ♪
♪ SING OF THE HAPPY TIMES, NOT

♪ EVERYBODY ♪
♪ SING OF THE HAPPY TIMES, NOT
SAD ♪

♪ SING OF THE HAPPY TIMES, NOT
SAD ♪
♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪

SAD ♪
♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ WHOA, WHOA ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ SING A SONG ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ SING A SONG ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ SING A SONG ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ AND MAKE IT SIMPLE TO LAST

♪ SING ♪
♪ AND MAKE IT SIMPLE TO LAST
YOUR WHOLE LIFE LONG, YEAH ♪

♪ AND MAKE IT SIMPLE TO LAST
YOUR WHOLE LIFE LONG, YEAH ♪
♪ AND DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT

YOUR WHOLE LIFE LONG, YEAH ♪
♪ AND DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO

♪ AND DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO
HEAR ♪

GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO
HEAR ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT GOOD

HEAR ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT GOOD
ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO

♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT GOOD
ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO
HEAR ♪

ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO
HEAR ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY ♪

HEAR ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY ♪
♪ THAT'S IT'S NOT GOOD

♪ DON'T WORRY ♪
♪ THAT'S IT'S NOT GOOD
ENOUGH ♪

♪ THAT'S IT'S NOT GOOD
ENOUGH ♪
♪ FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO HEAR ♪

ENOUGH ♪
♪ FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO HEAR ♪
♪ JUST SING ♪

♪ FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO HEAR ♪
♪ JUST SING ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ JUST SING ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ WHOA ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ WHOA ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ WHOA ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OH, JUST TRY TO SING A SONG ♪

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OH, JUST TRY TO SING A SONG ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ OH, JUST TRY TO SING A SONG ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH ♪

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OOH ♪
♪ YOU KIND OF SOUND REAL

♪ OOH ♪
♪ YOU KIND OF SOUND REAL
SOULFUL ♪

♪ YOU KIND OF SOUND REAL
SOULFUL ♪
♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪

SOULFUL ♪
♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ PLEASE PLAY IT FOR ME,

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ PLEASE PLAY IT FOR ME,
MR. BANDMAN ♪

♪ PLEASE PLAY IT FOR ME,
MR. BANDMAN ♪
♪ JUST CLAP YOUR HANDS,

MR. BANDMAN ♪
♪ JUST CLAP YOUR HANDS,
EVERYBODY ♪

♪ JUST CLAP YOUR HANDS,
EVERYBODY ♪
♪ HEY, UNDERSTAND, EVERYBODY ♪

EVERYBODY ♪
♪ HEY, UNDERSTAND, EVERYBODY ♪
♪ IT'S GONNA BE BRIGHTER, YEAH ♪

♪ HEY, UNDERSTAND, EVERYBODY ♪
♪ IT'S GONNA BE BRIGHTER, YEAH ♪
♪ IT'S GONNA BE LIGHTER IF WE

♪ IT'S GONNA BE BRIGHTER, YEAH ♪
♪ IT'S GONNA BE LIGHTER IF WE
SING ♪

♪ IT'S GONNA BE LIGHTER IF WE
SING ♪
♪ SING ♪

SING ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ EVERY MORNING, SING ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ EVERY MORNING, SING ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ EVERY MORNING, SING ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ IN THE NEW DAY, SING ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ IN THE NEW DAY, SING ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ IN THE NEW DAY, SING ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ OVER IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ OVER IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ OVER IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ OH, LET'S SING ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ OH, LET'S SING ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ OH, LET'S SING ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ EVERYBODY OUGHT TO SING

♪ SING ♪
♪ EVERYBODY OUGHT TO SING
SOMETIMES ♪

♪ EVERYBODY OUGHT TO SING
SOMETIMES ♪
♪ OH, SING ♪

SOMETIMES ♪
♪ OH, SING ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ OH, SING ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ COME ON, Y'ALL, AND SING ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ COME ON, Y'ALL, AND SING ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ COME ON, Y'ALL, AND SING ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ AND DON'T WORRY ♪

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ AND DON'T WORRY ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT

♪ AND DON'T WORRY ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT
GOOD ENOUGH ♪

♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT
GOOD ENOUGH ♪
♪ FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO HEAR ♪

GOOD ENOUGH ♪
♪ FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO HEAR ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY ♪

♪ FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO HEAR ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT

♪ DON'T WORRY ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT
GOOD ENOUGH ♪

♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT
GOOD ENOUGH ♪
♪ FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO HEAR ♪

GOOD ENOUGH ♪
♪ FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO HEAR ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT GOOD

♪ FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO HEAR ♪
♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT GOOD
ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO

♪ DON'T WORRY THAT IT'S NOT GOOD
ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO
HEAR ♪

ENOUGH FOR ANYBODY ELSE TO
HEAR ♪
♪ JUST SING ♪

HEAR ♪
♪ JUST SING ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ JUST SING ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ COME ON AND JUST SING ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ COME ON AND JUST SING ♪
♪ SING ♪

♪ COME ON AND JUST SING ♪
♪ SING ♪
♪ YEAH ♪

♪ SING ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OH, JUST TRY TO SING A SONG ♪

♪ YEAH ♪
♪ OH, JUST TRY TO SING A SONG ♪
♪ SING IT EVERY DAY, YEAH ♪

♪ OH, JUST TRY TO SING A SONG ♪
♪ SING IT EVERY DAY, YEAH ♪
♪ GET YOUR HEART TOGETHER AND

♪ SING IT EVERY DAY, YEAH ♪
♪ GET YOUR HEART TOGETHER AND
SING A SONG ♪

♪ GET YOUR HEART TOGETHER AND
SING A SONG ♪
♪ OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪

SING A SONG ♪
♪ OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ SING A SONG ♪

♪ OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ SING A SONG ♪
[APPLAUSE]

LOOK, MISS WEISS, I'LL SAY IT
AGAIN... WE WOULD NOT BE
SUSPENDING YOUR MASTERBANK CARD

AGAIN... WE WOULD NOT BE
SUSPENDING YOUR MASTERBANK CARD
IF YOU EXERCISED BETTER CONTROL

SUSPENDING YOUR MASTERBANK CARD
IF YOU EXERCISED BETTER CONTROL
OVER YOUR SPENDING.

IF YOU EXERCISED BETTER CONTROL
OVER YOUR SPENDING.
WELL, I AM TERRIBLY SORRY.

OVER YOUR SPENDING.
WELL, I AM TERRIBLY SORRY.
I CANNOT TELL YOU WHAT AN

WELL, I AM TERRIBLY SORRY.
I CANNOT TELL YOU WHAT AN
EMBARRASSMENT THIS IS FOR ME TO

I CANNOT TELL YOU WHAT AN
EMBARRASSMENT THIS IS FOR ME TO
BE CALLED IN HERE LIKE THIS.

EMBARRASSMENT THIS IS FOR ME TO
BE CALLED IN HERE LIKE THIS.
REGARDLESS, MISS WEISS, IT

BE CALLED IN HERE LIKE THIS.
REGARDLESS, MISS WEISS, IT
SEEMS TO HAVE HAPPENED.

REGARDLESS, MISS WEISS, IT
SEEMS TO HAVE HAPPENED.
THESE RECORDS ALL SHOW YOU ARE

SEEMS TO HAVE HAPPENED.
THESE RECORDS ALL SHOW YOU ARE
WAY OVER YOUR CREDIT LIMIT, AND

THESE RECORDS ALL SHOW YOU ARE
WAY OVER YOUR CREDIT LIMIT, AND
THE CARD MUST BE SUSPENDED.

WAY OVER YOUR CREDIT LIMIT, AND
THE CARD MUST BE SUSPENDED.
THEY SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!

THE CARD MUST BE SUSPENDED.
THEY SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!
HERE, LET'S LOOK AT YOUR

THEY SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES!
HERE, LET'S LOOK AT YOUR
RECEIPTS.

HERE, LET'S LOOK AT YOUR
RECEIPTS.
ALL RIGHT.

RECEIPTS.
ALL RIGHT.
NOW, THIS FIRST ONE...

ALL RIGHT.
NOW, THIS FIRST ONE...
OH, RIGHT, IT'S FOR THE SILK

NOW, THIS FIRST ONE...
OH, RIGHT, IT'S FOR THE SILK
BLOUSE I'M WEARING.

OH, RIGHT, IT'S FOR THE SILK
BLOUSE I'M WEARING.
FOR WHICH YOU PAID $65.39.

BLOUSE I'M WEARING.
FOR WHICH YOU PAID $65.39.
ON SALE.

FOR WHICH YOU PAID $65.39.
ON SALE.
YOU CALL THAT A SALE?

ON SALE.
YOU CALL THAT A SALE?
I GOT A SILK BLOUSE FOR $35 AT

YOU CALL THAT A SALE?
I GOT A SILK BLOUSE FOR $35 AT
SAKS!

I GOT A SILK BLOUSE FOR $35 AT
SAKS!
WELL, I GOT A SILK BLOUSE FOR

SAKS!
WELL, I GOT A SILK BLOUSE FOR
$20 AT BLOOMIE'S MARKED DOWN

WELL, I GOT A SILK BLOUSE FOR
$20 AT BLOOMIE'S MARKED DOWN
TWICE.

$20 AT BLOOMIE'S MARKED DOWN
TWICE.
I ONCE PURCHASED A PURE SILK

TWICE.
I ONCE PURCHASED A PURE SILK
BLOUSE FOR $10 AT BONWIT'S,

I ONCE PURCHASED A PURE SILK
BLOUSE FOR $10 AT BONWIT'S,
ORIGINALLY $99.

BLOUSE FOR $10 AT BONWIT'S,
ORIGINALLY $99.
WELL, I HAVE, IN MY

ORIGINALLY $99.
WELL, I HAVE, IN MY
POSSESSION, A 100% SILK BLOUSE

WELL, I HAVE, IN MY
POSSESSION, A 100% SILK BLOUSE
WHICH WAS GIVEN TO ME BY THE

POSSESSION, A 100% SILK BLOUSE
WHICH WAS GIVEN TO ME BY THE
HEAD BUYER AT GIMBELS FOR FREE.

WHICH WAS GIVEN TO ME BY THE
HEAD BUYER AT GIMBELS FOR FREE.
IT SO HAPPENS A FRIEND OF

HEAD BUYER AT GIMBELS FOR FREE.
IT SO HAPPENS A FRIEND OF
MINE ONCE PAID ME $10 TO TAKE A

IT SO HAPPENS A FRIEND OF
MINE ONCE PAID ME $10 TO TAKE A
SILK BLOUSE OFF HER HANDS WHEN

MINE ONCE PAID ME $10 TO TAKE A
SILK BLOUSE OFF HER HANDS WHEN
SHE WAS MOVING, YOU UNDERSTAND?

SILK BLOUSE OFF HER HANDS WHEN
SHE WAS MOVING, YOU UNDERSTAND?
YOU ACTUALLY MADE MONEY

SHE WAS MOVING, YOU UNDERSTAND?
YOU ACTUALLY MADE MONEY
GETTING A SILK BLOUSE?

YOU ACTUALLY MADE MONEY
GETTING A SILK BLOUSE?
AND IT IS SO GORGEOUS, IT'S

GETTING A SILK BLOUSE?
AND IT IS SO GORGEOUS, IT'S
TO DIE FROM... TO KILL YOURSELF

AND IT IS SO GORGEOUS, IT'S
TO DIE FROM... TO KILL YOURSELF
FROM!

TO DIE FROM... TO KILL YOURSELF
FROM!
YOU COULD TAKE A BOTTLE OF

FROM!
YOU COULD TAKE A BOTTLE OF
ASPIRIN, PUT A KNIFE THROUGH

YOU COULD TAKE A BOTTLE OF
ASPIRIN, PUT A KNIFE THROUGH
YOUR HEART, A BULLET THROUGH

ASPIRIN, PUT A KNIFE THROUGH
YOUR HEART, A BULLET THROUGH
YOUR HEAD, AND THROW YOURSELF

YOUR HEART, A BULLET THROUGH
YOUR HEAD, AND THROW YOURSELF
OUT A WINDOW FROM THIS BLOUSE!

YOUR HEAD, AND THROW YOURSELF
OUT A WINDOW FROM THIS BLOUSE!
NOT TO MENTION THE $10.

OUT A WINDOW FROM THIS BLOUSE!
NOT TO MENTION THE $10.
EXACTLY.

NOT TO MENTION THE $10.
EXACTLY.
NOW, THIS RECEIPT... FROM

EXACTLY.
NOW, THIS RECEIPT... FROM
SUN DRUGS FOR $25.95?

NOW, THIS RECEIPT... FROM
SUN DRUGS FOR $25.95?
OH, YEAH, NOW, THAT'S FOR

SUN DRUGS FOR $25.95?
OH, YEAH, NOW, THAT'S FOR
SEVERAL THINGS.

OH, YEAH, NOW, THAT'S FOR
SEVERAL THINGS.
FOR INSTANCE?

SEVERAL THINGS.
FOR INSTANCE?
WELL, UH, FIRST OF ALL, ONCE

FOR INSTANCE?
WELL, UH, FIRST OF ALL, ONCE
A MONTH...

WELL, UH, FIRST OF ALL, ONCE
A MONTH...
OH, YES. OH, YES.

A MONTH...
OH, YES. OH, YES.
WELL, ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS,

OH, YES. OH, YES.
WELL, ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS,
ON THE FIRST DAY I GO THROUGH

WELL, ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS,
ON THE FIRST DAY I GO THROUGH
ONE EVERY HALF-HOUR.

ON THE FIRST DAY I GO THROUGH
ONE EVERY HALF-HOUR.
ON MY FIRST DAY, I GO THROUGH

ONE EVERY HALF-HOUR.
ON MY FIRST DAY, I GO THROUGH
TWO EVERY 15 MINUTES.

ON MY FIRST DAY, I GO THROUGH
TWO EVERY 15 MINUTES.
PLUS, I GET SO BLOATED, I

TWO EVERY 15 MINUTES.
PLUS, I GET SO BLOATED, I
CANNOT ZIP MY PANTS.

PLUS, I GET SO BLOATED, I
CANNOT ZIP MY PANTS.
I MEAN, WE ARE TALKING

CANNOT ZIP MY PANTS.
I MEAN, WE ARE TALKING
MISS BLIMP.

I MEAN, WE ARE TALKING
MISS BLIMP.
BLOAT? BLOAT?!

MISS BLIMP.
BLOAT? BLOAT?!
YOU WANT TO TALK FROM BLOAT?!

BLOAT? BLOAT?!
YOU WANT TO TALK FROM BLOAT?!
I RETAIN WATER LIKE A RESERVOIR!

YOU WANT TO TALK FROM BLOAT?!
I RETAIN WATER LIKE A RESERVOIR!
BUT EVEN WORSE, I GET SO SORE I

I RETAIN WATER LIKE A RESERVOIR!
BUT EVEN WORSE, I GET SO SORE I
CANNOT SLEEP ON MY STOMACH, YOU

BUT EVEN WORSE, I GET SO SORE I
CANNOT SLEEP ON MY STOMACH, YOU
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

CANNOT SLEEP ON MY STOMACH, YOU
KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
DO I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?

KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
DO I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
LISTEN, I'M JUST LUCKY IF I CAN

DO I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
LISTEN, I'M JUST LUCKY IF I CAN
PUT ON A BLOUSE!

LISTEN, I'M JUST LUCKY IF I CAN
PUT ON A BLOUSE!
AND THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S

PUT ON A BLOUSE!
AND THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S
THE CRAMPS.

AND THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S
THE CRAMPS.
WELL, DON'T TALK TO ME!

THE CRAMPS.
WELL, DON'T TALK TO ME!
I DROP DEAD FOR 24 HOURS.

WELL, DON'T TALK TO ME!
I DROP DEAD FOR 24 HOURS.
IS THAT ALL?

I DROP DEAD FOR 24 HOURS.
IS THAT ALL?
MINE LAST FOR A WEEK, AND THEY

IS THAT ALL?
MINE LAST FOR A WEEK, AND THEY
START THE WEEK BEFORE.

MINE LAST FOR A WEEK, AND THEY
START THE WEEK BEFORE.
WELL, WHEN I GET THOSE, THEY

START THE WEEK BEFORE.
WELL, WHEN I GET THOSE, THEY
START TWO WEEKS BEFORE AND GO

WELL, WHEN I GET THOSE, THEY
START TWO WEEKS BEFORE AND GO
FOR A WEEK AFTER.

START TWO WEEKS BEFORE AND GO
FOR A WEEK AFTER.
WE'RE TALKING CRAMPS FOR ONE

FOR A WEEK AFTER.
WE'RE TALKING CRAMPS FOR ONE
ENTIRE MONTH.

WE'RE TALKING CRAMPS FOR ONE
ENTIRE MONTH.
I MEAN, ONE ENDS, AND AN HOUR

ENTIRE MONTH.
I MEAN, ONE ENDS, AND AN HOUR
LATER, MISS BLIMP DROPS DEAD.

I MEAN, ONE ENDS, AND AN HOUR
LATER, MISS BLIMP DROPS DEAD.
WELL, THAT EXPLAINS THE

LATER, MISS BLIMP DROPS DEAD.
WELL, THAT EXPLAINS THE
DRUGSTORE.

WELL, THAT EXPLAINS THE
DRUGSTORE.
NOW...

DRUGSTORE.
NOW...
LI PHA HO'S RESTAURANT, $15.

NOW...
LI PHA HO'S RESTAURANT, $15.
YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?

LI PHA HO'S RESTAURANT, $15.
YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?
IT'S MY LIFE.

YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?
IT'S MY LIFE.
WELL, I KNOW WHERE TO GET THE

IT'S MY LIFE.
WELL, I KNOW WHERE TO GET THE
BEST CHINESE FOOD IN NEW YORK.

WELL, I KNOW WHERE TO GET THE
BEST CHINESE FOOD IN NEW YORK.
WHERE?

BEST CHINESE FOOD IN NEW YORK.
WHERE?
THE EAST SIDE. WONG'S.

WHERE?
THE EAST SIDE. WONG'S.
VERY FEW PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT IT.

THE EAST SIDE. WONG'S.
VERY FEW PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT IT.
REALLY?

VERY FEW PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT IT.
REALLY?
WELL, I KNOW WHERE TO GET THE

REALLY?
WELL, I KNOW WHERE TO GET THE
BEST CHINESE FOOD IN THE

WELL, I KNOW WHERE TO GET THE
BEST CHINESE FOOD IN THE
COUNTRY.

BEST CHINESE FOOD IN THE
COUNTRY.
WHERE?

COUNTRY.
WHERE?
DENVER. HONG'S.

WHERE?
DENVER. HONG'S.
NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT IT.

DENVER. HONG'S.
NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT IT.
I KNOW WHERE TO GET THE BEST

NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT IT.
I KNOW WHERE TO GET THE BEST
CHINESE FOOD IN THE WORLD.

I KNOW WHERE TO GET THE BEST
CHINESE FOOD IN THE WORLD.
WHERE?

CHINESE FOOD IN THE WORLD.
WHERE?
CHINA.

WHERE?
CHINA.
EVEN I DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT.

CHINA.
EVEN I DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT.
THEY BLINDFOLD YOU BEFORE YOU GO

EVEN I DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT.
THEY BLINDFOLD YOU BEFORE YOU GO
IN SO YOU DON'T SEE THE NAME.

THEY BLINDFOLD YOU BEFORE YOU GO
IN SO YOU DON'T SEE THE NAME.
OH, SUCH CUTE EARRINGS.

IN SO YOU DON'T SEE THE NAME.
OH, SUCH CUTE EARRINGS.
OH, I GOT THEM FROM MY

OH, SUCH CUTE EARRINGS.
OH, I GOT THEM FROM MY
BROTHER.

OH, I GOT THEM FROM MY
BROTHER.
HE'S A DENTIST AND A JEWELER.

BROTHER.
HE'S A DENTIST AND A JEWELER.
REALLY?

HE'S A DENTIST AND A JEWELER.
REALLY?
MY BROTHER'S A DOCTOR AND A

REALLY?
MY BROTHER'S A DOCTOR AND A
LAWYER.

MY BROTHER'S A DOCTOR AND A
LAWYER.
REALLY?

LAWYER.
REALLY?
AND A FURRIER.

REALLY?
AND A FURRIER.
WHEN I HAD MY ACCIDENT, HE

AND A FURRIER.
WHEN I HAD MY ACCIDENT, HE
EXAMINED ME, DEFENDED ME, AND

WHEN I HAD MY ACCIDENT, HE
EXAMINED ME, DEFENDED ME, AND
REPLACED MY COAT.

EXAMINED ME, DEFENDED ME, AND
REPLACED MY COAT.
WELL, MY OTHER BROTHER IS A

REPLACED MY COAT.
WELL, MY OTHER BROTHER IS A
DENTIST, A JEWELER, A DOCTOR, A

WELL, MY OTHER BROTHER IS A
DENTIST, A JEWELER, A DOCTOR, A
LAWYER, AN ACCOUNTANT, AND THE

DENTIST, A JEWELER, A DOCTOR, A
LAWYER, AN ACCOUNTANT, AND THE
OWNER OF A SWEET'N LOW FACTORY.

LAWYER, AN ACCOUNTANT, AND THE
OWNER OF A SWEET'N LOW FACTORY.
OH, HOW NICE FOR YOU.

OWNER OF A SWEET'N LOW FACTORY.
OH, HOW NICE FOR YOU.
WELL, MISS WEISS, I THINK YOU

OH, HOW NICE FOR YOU.
WELL, MISS WEISS, I THINK YOU
UNDERSTAND WE'LL BE EXPECTING A

WELL, MISS WEISS, I THINK YOU
UNDERSTAND WE'LL BE EXPECTING A
PAYMENT FROM YOU WITHIN THE

UNDERSTAND WE'LL BE EXPECTING A
PAYMENT FROM YOU WITHIN THE
MONTH.

PAYMENT FROM YOU WITHIN THE
MONTH.
WELL, LOOK, COULD I HAVE A

MONTH.
WELL, LOOK, COULD I HAVE A
LITTLE EXTENSION?

WELL, LOOK, COULD I HAVE A
LITTLE EXTENSION?
I MEAN, I'M HAVING MY NAILS

LITTLE EXTENSION?
I MEAN, I'M HAVING MY NAILS
WRAPPED, AND I'M NOT ALLOWED TO

I MEAN, I'M HAVING MY NAILS
WRAPPED, AND I'M NOT ALLOWED TO
HOLD A PEN FOR FOUR WEEKS.

WRAPPED, AND I'M NOT ALLOWED TO
HOLD A PEN FOR FOUR WEEKS.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU USE THE

HOLD A PEN FOR FOUR WEEKS.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU USE THE
PADDY NAILS?

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU USE THE
PADDY NAILS?
THEY'RE WONDERFUL! YOU CAN TYPE!

PADDY NAILS?
THEY'RE WONDERFUL! YOU CAN TYPE!
REALLY?

THEY'RE WONDERFUL! YOU CAN TYPE!
REALLY?
YES!

REALLY?
YES!
I TYPED ALL YOUR WARNINGS.

YES!
I TYPED ALL YOUR WARNINGS.
WHERE DO YOU GET 'EM?

I TYPED ALL YOUR WARNINGS.
WHERE DO YOU GET 'EM?
A LITTLE PLACE DOWNSTAIRS.

WHERE DO YOU GET 'EM?
A LITTLE PLACE DOWNSTAIRS.
I'M GOING THERE IN 10 MINUTES.

A LITTLE PLACE DOWNSTAIRS.
I'M GOING THERE IN 10 MINUTES.
WELL, CAN I COME ALONG?

I'M GOING THERE IN 10 MINUTES.
WELL, CAN I COME ALONG?
OH, MISS WEISS, I REPEAT...

WELL, CAN I COME ALONG?
OH, MISS WEISS, I REPEAT...
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.

OH, MISS WEISS, I REPEAT...
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
I KNOW A DIET WHERE YOU CAN LOSE

LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
I KNOW A DIET WHERE YOU CAN LOSE
100 POUNDS IN ONE HOUR.

I KNOW A DIET WHERE YOU CAN LOSE
100 POUNDS IN ONE HOUR.
YOU CAN USE MY CARD.

100 POUNDS IN ONE HOUR.
YOU CAN USE MY CARD.
THANKS.