Saturday Night Live (1975–…): Season 1, Episode 12 - Dick Cavett/Jimmy Cliff - full transcript

The host for the episode is Dick Cavett, and the musical guest is Jimmy Cliff. The skits for this episode are as follows: Garrett Morris uses voodoo to get Chevy to fall down. Commercials attempt to draw students into The Dick Cav...

Then Diary, and this 'as:

Richard and Kendall were left last week

and it' pretty weird.

I know that Kendall believes that it is
not my fault, I have the strange feeling

she's angry with me.

- Good morning, Kendall.
- Hello Kimmie,

I was just thinking.

- Good afternoon, Kendall.
- Hello Kimmie,

I was just thinking.

Goodnight, Kendall.

Oh, hello Kimmie, I
I was just thinking.



Maybe it means nothing, but 'tomorrow
put this behind my desk.

One never knows.

Super Fun Night -
Season 1 Episode 12 - "Hostile Makeover"

Translation: pao9212, Minaca,
Heather, Daenerys, 19kiki

Revision: Ellie

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Kendall ... wanted to see me?

You ', while you were at lunch I tried the
documents and put them in your office

for the PowerPoint presentation that you will do tomorrow to the group.

Thank you.

- Are you busy?
- Not at all.

I reply to emails, I delete some contact on your phone

rassodo and the inner thigh with a ball
. What can I do for you?

I wanted to make sure everything was ok between us.



What do you mean?

Well, we were starting to become

A. .. I... that...

And now... I start to feel the tension
,

and for what I think might be
and that 'happened between you and Richard.

Kimmie, if you're asking me if I think
is your fault and for what 'success

the answer' 'Yes.' "

E 'so'.

Ok. Well, I appreciate the honest '.

Now do not Cadro 'in the hatch or

into a pit of
komodo dragons, like James Bond?

- No.
- I was just kidding.

I would never do, Kimmie,
are not a vengeful person.

- Well.
- What is 'success last week

no matter more',
I do not like living in the past.

Not even to me!

Except when I do Princess Kimberly at Barad-Dur,

field adult fantasy dedicated to the renaissance
more 'big state.

Plucked pheasants every day ♪ ♪

Under the apple tree ♪

Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org

It must be a joke.

Well Kimmie, and '
impressive collection of cardboard boxes.

E 'was Kendall, is taking revenge.
Blames me for your breakup.

I'm sorry.

I did not get you in the middle.

I did not want to hurt her either.

Kendall can not control his personal problems.

He fired his therapist 'cause
helped her remove her emotions.

That's' cause he does things like that.

But it 's so hostile!

Kendall Quinn... hostile?

Then I will say that the saga Twilight and
'trivial.

Well, relata 'follow the model...

Come on, give me a box.

And let's go!

- Ok, good luck!
- Richard!

For me Kendall needs a good kick the 'below!

No, not
physical violence solves anything, Kimmie.

It 's not true.

Of 'to your boss that haunts you.

I can not, deny it.

I have to catch her in the act, if not
will not stop 'ever.

And that 'exactly what'
it takes to do it.

You '!

'micro-camera that we bought to see if
Marika and' sleepwalking!

In my defense I say that the dictionary
was open to the word "Sandwich".

- It would be a defense?
- You '!

The hide 'in my office, so'
I'll have 'all the evidence I need.

I wanted to shoot and what 'happened today.

Not gonna believe this!

- Oh my God, you're right.
- Just you.

- We are very happy to see you.
- Very happy.

We want you to do something for us.

We refer the look!

They just opened a beauty salon called
"The Crown", a fine is not it?

And it 's free!

Everything 'we have to do'
let us take pictures of before and after.

The thing confuses me 'cause usually
do to those who need it. I mean ',

Not telling you to be a model, but...

I saw how the guys look at me,
while walking with my Segway.

I'm like, "Watch out for that!"

I said, 'Would you like! "

The core of every patent infringement case

and 'use without permission.

In the United States,

all cases of infringement are covered by civil law
.

Multinational But considering the scope of this case,

can 'be applied
a criminal violation.

Kimmie...

I'm sorry but... I have to stop.

This presentation is not and 'not at all professional.

- This is not 'it?
- It ', I know.

I know.

Thank you for changing it, Kendall.

Excuse me?

- I do not think so.
- Really?

Guys, seriously think

I'd photograph voluntarily

with a custom horizontal stripes?

For Charity '!

Ladies and gentlemen, I call to witness

... brown teddy bear.

I'm sorry, what does that bear disgusting

with your bad presentation?

The bear knows everything, Kendall.

For example, knows that a child

I was afraid of the monsters

and I burned a pair of panties in the garden.

And he also knows that you snuck into my office
,

have tampered with this presentation

and...

You ate the glazed donut for my afternoon snack.

Oh, yes'. Sure. I hate carbs
during the week.

- Really ridiculous.
- Continue to deny it?

Well, then denies... this!

High-definition video camera that I pushed...

In the closet bear's back.

Let's look, shall we?

Log in office.

He sits down, use my computer.

And you can see how my
disappears donut.

E 'clear, you want to embarrass me

why '
accuse me of your separation. Guess what?

Did not work.

Oh, well. Let's see if I can do so '.

Hello to all. Kimmie and 'virgin!

What? No!

Listen to me, no!

I have a boyfriend,

is called James.

We did a lot...

Of Things... romantic together.

- Please.
- Things sexy!

- You're a liar.
- You're a liar.

- No, you are. Stop it.
- No, you are. Stop it.

- 'Cause repeat what I say?
- 'Cause repeat what I say?

- What's going on? And 'terrible.
- What's going on? And 'terrible.

- Stop it! Are you out of your mind!
- Stop it! Are you out of your mind!

I can not believe we are here with HR
, on Saturday.

I know.

E 'as in the movie "Breakfast Club."

I am the shy girl who does not want to talk

you and the bad guy that beats all.

If this affects my career

or possible promotions,
I swear, Kimmie,

you light '
regret that your boobs are created.

Well, at least my boobs were born.

Of your, instead...

I would not say...

Good morning, sir.

My name is Brian Headfoot.

- Saro 'your broker for the
session today. - Hello, Brian.

So...

Looks like you two had a discussion yesterday.

Let's see.

Ok, modification of the work of a colleague.

- Nicknames.
- Destruction of a teddy bear.

- Excuse me? - He put my
bear in the shredder.

Before the butt.

I'll give you a penny to buy it again.

Well, I would but I can not.

I had bought my grandmother,

which 'died of old age. Are you happy?

- It '.
- Okay, stop.

You are here to learn the difference between appropriate behavior

and inappropriate in the workplace.

Ok, I know. Sounds boring, not 'it?

But if we play the...

"Behavioral Bingo"!

Oh. It's okay.

- I do not play.
- Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Let me tell you one thing, Miss Quinn.

I was a flight attendant.

Thank you. I know guys like you.

Do not turn off the phone.

Put extra luggage in the overhead bin.

Would you like your can of Coca-Cola.

'Cause we can not have it?

- We have our reasons.
- Okay, on.

- Let's stop and start.
- Ok.

Let's start with some exercise
heating. Ready?

I would say so. '

I wish both of you said something

based on the positive and trust the other person.

When you are ready.

Now.

Come on, the first thing that comes to mind
. Only a...

Strength,
does not have to be a complete sentence.

We're here to see Hayley and Heidi.

Who are you?

I am Helen-Alice.

And I'm Marika.

We are here for a change of style.

Oh, you came.

- Hooray.
- We are so 'excited to be here.

The main thing 'like a transformation,
' was to take my wisdom tooth.

Well, before you start working on
you have to take a picture of the "before".

We must have
messy hair and ugly clothes for the photo?

You '. You have been kind to
do before coming here.

Smile or whatever you want.

- Perfect.
- Perfect.

- What '?
- It 's our gear.

We use it exclusively to "The Crown".

- Registered trademark.
- Registered trademark.

- I'm sorry. What?
- What?

Let's try another exercise.

This purse contains red and green marbles.

If you draw a red ball, you have to make a compliment...

At the other person.

If you draw a green, you have to reveal

your fault.

Kendall , 'cause she does not start?

Oh, red. It 'a compliment.

Kimmie,
I'm impressed by how you're so 'childish

in a work environment ripe
as a law firm.

- Ok.
- Kendall...

You are very, very good at wearing high heels and
to be terrible.

Ok. All right.

Kimmie, you're a lawyer...

Kendall...

E '
very remarkable way in which you use the trick...

To cover your wickedness.

There are green marbles, at least
? Just...

my fault.

E 'difficult.

Some people would say that they are so beautiful,

that sometimes do not realize how
both smart and experienced.

Come on...

Stop it! Enough!

Come on, so 'I ripped the bag!

Ok, first
sfoltiremo eyebrows,

then we will do the waxing mustache.

- I have a mustache?
- It '...

But I have good news! And '
easy to shave your face.

Now I know it feels like a princess.

Fara 'a bit' wrong, then tell me if
worse too.

It 's like a flamethrower same
burning my scalp.

Good. It's working.

It seems that the sulfuric acid

is piercing my skull.

Perfect.

No. .. I'm trying to tell you that it hurts.

Hello?

Ok. Let's try a little role-playing game
.

Kendall, she will 'Kimmie.
Kimmie, she will 'Kendall.

Kimmie wants me to do?

Ok, I will like eight pillows.

I'll need about eight sizes smaller.

Okay, '
a normal day at the office. Way.

Good morning, Kendall.
Have you seen Richard today?

I just want to tell you that... that if
need anything, let me know

'cause I do not have a life and
are in love with him.

No, I have not seen 'cause I was taken by
look in the mirror all day.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
insults on your shoes.

I'm sorry, Kendall. I just wanted to tell you quickly that A
:

I think you're beautiful, and B:
I hope you're not angry

'cause I always have fun with Richard
with my shoes snow tires.

Kimmie, you're so 'smart

but what I was going to say and'
'cause I should be angry,

just' cause I'm a self-centered snob

and I think I have beautiful legs,
even if someone believes it sticks.

Enough!

You can not make so ', okay?

Do not're learning!
Do not're sharing!

This '
an essential exercise for team building.

One of you will build 'a bridge with popsicle sticks these
,

based on the instructions that will receive' on the other.

Okay? It will be 'better than me
impressioniate!

Well, if you want to be impressed
would have to buy icicles

Kimmie eat and watch.

Okay, yes'. And if he needed to keep you cool
,

Kendall would have preserved his soul!

Joking as you want but neither...

- What are you doing?
- Excuse me, I...

No one will leave 'this room

until' will not see 'that you are able to work together

so professional!

Ok, then put the last two pieces

Last post.

Done.

Let's see.

Okay, okay. You can go, now
. Go. Thank you.

What? No, we were warming up.

Kimmie and Kendall ♪ ♪

We are a good team ♪

build bridges and ♪

build a 'friendship ♪

Normally you'd do other exercises...

But thanks to stress that I have procured

i is appearing acne.

And tonight I have a blind date.

So I'm sure that will go 'well.

So...
another beautiful day for Brian Headfoot.

Hello, Brian.

Thank you.

So...

We have just built a bridge and passed around?

Kendall...

You have to admit that when we put our differences aside

We are a good team.

Who are you kidding, Kimmie.

Bridge I built that stupid just to go away.

It does not end here. Not a chance.

Then we will spend the next 20 years

in the same office, to hate us?

Well, I do not know if your expectations of life are so
'long,

but '.

- I could hear voices.
- Richard,

what are you doing here on a Saturday?

Well, I came to work a little '.

But then I went on the internet and I saw
"Pirates of the Caribbean".

"When you left me on that deserted

"
you forgot one very important thing, mate.

"I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."

Good God I need a drink.

E 'just one of those voices that you hear
, do you know of them.

I said "I know it can be done."

Two minutes and it was in my head.

Helen-Alice, Marika,

get ready to see you as women for the first time in your life.

I'm looking in a mirror...

Or a picture of Eva Longoria?

Oh, my God! They are beautiful.

Not with those glasses, no.

E 'that you dream about,

then you think about it and then it happens. Excuse me.

What a change.

I'm really commuovendo.

- Do not touch.
- Do not touch.

I like it, guys! Who took it?

Guys, this is' the best day '
of my life, the most' beautiful.

Hey, you.

Hello, what's your name?

- Karen.
- Ah, perfect.

Karen, you and your ridiculous friends you

please keep your joy for you?

I'm trying to have a drink.

What do you want?

Kendall,
not stand it when people are angry with me.

Does it make my heart...

You know, there are thousands of others
bar in Manhattan.

You ', but that' s the only one

right in front of our office.

'Cause you're here, Richard?

Kendall, I think we should talk.

Everyone wants to talk.
No one wants a drink?

Look. Look!

It 's very pretty!

Oh, my God! State
silent! It 'a scarf!

Mica has not won the Nobel Peace Prize!

Thanks for doing all for free.

Well, 'our expertise
spread beauty.

Oh, my God
should be our motto.

But, like, and 'our motto.

And 'our expertise
spread beauty.

E' perfect.

Sometimes I forget things.

That's why '
I have many tattoos of butterflies.

Great. So...

If I wanted to keep this train
sexy always on the move...

What should I do?

Here's what you need: balm,

balm for laying, smoothing balm...

Stop. Question. What 'the balm?

Mousse, cream, spray, paste, gel.

This cream, that for sure.

Oh, and this balm?

E 'on offer.

Oh, my God, and the 'cream for hands.

're Really nice.

What weird.

What? Shema.

- You did not know that it was the balsam.
- He's' shut up.

I have more 'success with you.

'm More 'lean on you.

They are more 'cute of you.

If you were to ask a stranger who should be with any
Richard

- Would tell me.
- Well... It 's not entirely true.

Hey, you scarf!

Between the two of us, with whom
should stay like this?

Oh, you do not have to answer, Karen.

And I love the scarf you're wearing.

Makes you look like a sexy version of "Where 'Wally?"

Lei

- What? Wait. Why '?
- It 's kind.

Thank you.

She 'who understands us.

Wow, I can not even convince
a woman who dresses like Karen

that are a better choice than Kimmie.

God, 'everything is so' easy for you.

What? Easy for me?

Are you kidding?

My life '
type a million times more' difficult than yours.

Do you know what it 'always be
joke for how you look?

Being chosen last for ever?

Writing erotic fanfiction so 'pushed

That even on the internet
tell you "and 'too'?

Kimmie, I think you should
get to the point, please.

Ma .. What words should I type
to find it?

- "Legs open."
- "Legs open."

Kimmie.

My life and 'difficult.

Understand the pressure of being always first choice?

To know that people think you're
got where you're just 'cause you're beautiful?

And to know that you all hate each other just because
'eat what you want

- and not get fat on a gram?
- Oh, I hate you.

Look, you two, and 'all my fault.

Kendall...

I did not want to hurt you,
and I'm sorry that things did not work out.

Me too. I'm sorry too.

And if you have to get mad at someone,

should be angry with me, not with Kimmie.

I'm not angry with Kimmie .

- Oh, yes', of course.
- I am not.

I wish I could hate.

It would be much more '
easier if I could ignore you, but I can not.

- 'Cause how many times you steal the
office chair... - Was it you?

O
call the Department of Transportation and put you on the no-fly list...

I'm sorry, what?

Give me a good morning every morning.

And I understand that, unlike the other...

You say seriously.

- Seen? I told you that 'kind.
- He's' Shut up, Karen.

Kimmie, not '
easy for me to say it, but...

In reality 'are not so' bad.

All this heat and '
difficult to bear for me.

Oh, wait.

I think this is a good time.

I read something.

Ok...

Now that we are officially friends...

I have to tell you something.

Disney Cruise.

Rate of the group.

Eight nights, seven days.

There will be all the characters famous. Mickey, Minnie...

The dog.

I know.

I know.

Who are we?

Kimmie, prepared to make a jump.

You will blow out your eyes.

In practice we will jump all over.

- Ok. Now?
- It '.

Fuck!

What do you think?

Ok, I state, and '
the first time that we recreate those looks, but

with a little' practice learn.

Now it's up to you.

What's up '?

Well, I do not think we should become

attractive all three at the same time.

Yes', he's right.

You're right.

Well, do not waste our look!

Let's see where they're going to blast these ladies tonight.

Well, I mean, not '
that we have to go for strength...

Drink non-alcoholic at the school for the blind in Manhattan.

Perfect.

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