Samurai Pizza Cats (1990–1991): Season 1, Episode 3 - Underground, Underwater, Undercooked Dig Dig a Hole and Dig More! - full transcript
[opening theme music]
Would somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Oooh yeah♪
♪ Who do you call When you want some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Right on!
♪ They're stepping out crime
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ That's right! A heck of a fighter♪
♪ Makes a heck of a lunch.♪
♪ And little Polly Esther♪
♪ Who's never afraid That's me!♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade.♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovy A wild romantic rover.♪
♪ This cat gets down down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here comes the Pizza Cats They're so bad♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle had♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Step on their tails Out of my tail♪
♪ And you're gonna get hurt♪
♪ Don't hurt me♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats!♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town♪
♪ Three, two, one
♪ The Pizza Cats Are on the run♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain Who's lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja crows♪
♪ As soon as someone finds The script♪
♪ We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit back and rest your feet And turn the sound up high.♪
♪ And if you want The full effects♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] Our story begins as Guido and Speedy
race to Lucille's tea house.
-[Guido] I'm winning! -Guido! Stop!
-Hey that's a foul. -[Speedy] What foul?
[indistinct chatter]
Lucille left us a note.
[Speedy] Sorry! Changed my mind, went shopping.
Oh No! Boy!
You mean we ran all the way over here for nothing?
She knew we had a date today.
How can she stand us up like this?
She wouldn't pull a dirty trick like that,
she just changed her mind and forgot to tell us.
Yeah! I suppose reason Lucille has such a clean manner
that she changes it so often.
[Speedy grunts]
[narrator] At this point you might be wondering
where is Lucille?
Then again you might be wondering,
why am I watching this silly show?
I'll answer these questions in order.
First of all Lucille is boarding the subway express
on her way to enjoyable afternoon
with her credit cards at the shopping mall.
Now before I answer this second question
a more important question must be answered.
Does this engineer look board
or worried to his razor sharp instincts tell him
there's danger aboard this train?
Guess not!
[engineer grunts]
[Bad Bird] Excuse the interruption
-but can we borrow your train? -[engineer grunts]
[Bad bird] Pay attention you idiots.
This train is now under the control
of the Gorgonzola gang.
Anyone attempting to interfere with us will be penalized.
Those who try to escape will fail.
Those who do escape will face the ultimate punishment.
No Bad Bird! Not the ultimate punishment.
[Bad Bird] Yes, none of you will be invited to my birthday party.
[narrator] Face with such a dire threat
the passengers are hopelessly helpless.
Can Bad Bird carries out his wicked scheme without a hatch?
Not without a hatch, I mean for a hooch.
Oh that is to say like clockwork.
[narrator clears throat] Later at Pizza Cat headquarters.
[Polly] Did you guys read this article
about the subway train?
How can something that large disappear?
It's a mystery that's for sure
and speaking of mystery,
what are we having for dinner tonight?
This is no time for joke, Speedy.
Hey, if we don't make the show funny we're in big trouble.
Funny! [laughing]
[Guido] We have to look everywhere.
Everywhere? You mean for the missing train?
What train?
Speedy I was talking about Lucille,
-she is missing. -[Polly gasps]
-Are you positive? -No.
I just thought it be would a fun thing to say.
I just saw something,
she could be on that train that disappeared.
[Guido and Polly] What?
[narrator] And so the pizza Cats begin searching for Lucille
in the deep dark darkness of the
decidedly dangerous tunnels,
determined to discover her whereabouts.
As Speedy's helmet light pierces the darkness
he realizes that he still doesn't know
what Polly is having for dinner.
It's absolutely impossible
for a whole subway train to disappear.
It's got to be down here somewhere.
It's gotta be.
On the other hand,
there could be a monster or UFOs or mutants
who knows, this is a cartoon.
[moaning] They can do anything they want.
[narrator] Our heroes have no way of knowing
that the objects of their search is only a few feet away.
[Bad Bird] Silence!
-There's a lot of digging to do. -[all whimpering]
And you're the ones who are gonna do it!
You work 'til you drop, or else!
-[all gasp and groan] -[Bad Bird laughs]
And now the time has come to begin.
[Screaming] Are all my robots ready?
[robots] Ready.
-And now the pickaxe. -[robot] Ready.
[Bad Bird] Excellent!
[Bad Bird laughs] Begin!
[energetic music]
[narrator] Hey! It's subway tunnel fever.
Right on!
-[Bad Bird] Now it's your turn. -[all gasp]
No talking, no complaining and no smoking!
[narrator] Meanwhile at the gangs headquarters.
[Big Cheese] Well Jerry what's the word from Bad bird?
Is everything going according to plan?
And how's the tunnel coming along?
Their almost to the oil vault.
In just a few hours,
we'll have access to the treasure house of the emperor,
and after we've stolen the gold and filled in the tunnel,
the mystery of the missing treasure will never been solved.
-It's the perfect crime. -[Big Cheese chuckles]
I'll be at able to pay off all my credit cards.
and afford retail prices again.
The first thing we're going to do,
is to buy ourselves a certain pizza parlor.
And get rid of the Samurai Pizza Cats!
[Big Cheese chuckling]
I suppose I better return this to the library.
We wouldn't want it to be overdue. [evil laughing]
[narrator] Meanwhile the exhausted passengers
of the hijacked train are on their last legs.
[Lucille gasps] Oh, you poor thing.
I'm an old man my dear, I don't have the firm body
that I used to have.
I'll help you.
Oh!
Look! Here is one.
[screams and grunts]
-You Idiot! -[Lucille moaning]
I said firm body not worm buddy.
Hey! Why aren't you working?
[sighs] My doctor's orders.
He told me not to attempt any strenuous exercise.
That's because he knows you're a wimp.
-[Lucille crying and screaming] -[Bad Bird screams]
[crows screaming]
[loud explosion] [crows screaming]
[narrator] The powerful explosion
is destroying Lady Vi's palace.
Hey, no fair now I'll have to start all over again.
[narrator] Meanwhile down in the dank and dangerous darkness
of the subterranean depths.
-[Bad Bird sneezes] -What now?
Now? No more Mr. Nice guy!
Bad bird, you're a bad bird.
Now I'm all upset again.
You meany! [crying]
[everybody screaming]
She's about to blow her top again!
[Lucille crying]
[crows screaming]
[narrator] In a nearby tunnel
Speedy has come to a sudden realization.
Gee whiz Polly, you never did tell me
what kind of pizza we're having for dinner.
Anchovy and yoghurt.
[narrator] And then a clue to Lucille's
whereabouts appears.
-[Guido and Polly screams] -[Speedy] Hey look.
That's one of Lucille's missiles.
[Polly] It flew by so fast. Are you sure Speedy?
[loud explosion] -[all grunt]
-I am now. -[Polly grunts]
[Polly] Hey you two look at this.
[Guido] What is it Polly?
A secret tunnel. Bet ya the trains are down there.
-Let's look. -[Guido sighs]
How about a little later?
Let's later!
[all scream]
[exciting music] [all panting]
[all scream]
[narrator] It's a tense moment for the Samurai Pizza Cats.
Will our heroes be able to outrun the deadly missile?
Outrun a missile?
Come, on get real will ya?
[Guido screams] [loud explosion]
[Guido, Speedy and Polly screaming]
[narrator] It looks like our heroes are in big trouble.
[Guido grunts and coughs]
We just fine!
I think. [grunts]
Now that we've eaten our dinner and got our strength back,
I think it's time for us go and rescue Lucille.
We'll teach Bad Bird and his boys
what happens when you mess
with the Samurai...
[Guido] Pizza...
[Guido, Speedy and Polly] Cats!
[theme music]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They make great pizza But that ain't all♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're ready to fight When you need 'em just call♪
♪ They know how to stop crime Just do what they say.♪
♪ If you don't want a bad time Stay out of their way!♪
♪ Oh I love those cats♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ The heroes Who always wear fur♪
[Francine] Grab your bag hold on to your hats,
it's blast off time for the Pizza Cats.
Okay folks they're on their way,
the blast off pizza special today
is peanut butter with fish fillet.
Mamma look! There is a sewer.
A lot of people need a second job
in order to pay their rent dear.
[Junior gasps]
[narrator] Meanwhile in the climate gloom of the grim
and granite the mist of a smoke smudge subway tunnel,
you can bet that Bad Bird is a bit perturbed.
[Bad Bird couching] What a knuckle sandwich.
If you feed everyone else too.
Hey boss, look at that.
There's some kind of weird wall over there.
Ha-ha! That's it!
[Bad Bird laughs] The secret entry way to the vault.
-[everybody gasp] -[Bad Bird] Watch this!
Mine. It's all mine! [grunts]
[Bad Bird grunting]
-What's the matter boss? -[Bad Bird] You idiot.
Can't you see?
Well in case you haven't notice Bad Bird
it's kind of dark down here.
You fool!
The treasure map shows there's gold in here.
Not fish. [gasps and grunts]
[narrator] Bad Bird has just realize
that the gangs perfect crime has been a total waste of time.
The Big Cheese have been informed
that within the royal library
was an ancient map showing the location of the emperor's
secret vault containing a fortune in gold.
One word of the map's instruction however was missing,
and Bad Bird now knows precisely what that word was.
Now I understand...
The instructions didn't say the emperor's vault was filled
-with gold but with gold fish. -Why?
How should I know, ask the narrator.
[narrator] The fish filled vault is the legacy
of the legendary shogun Tokugawa Tuna Breath.
Who ate nothing but seafood.
And who's favorite dish was freshly cut fish.
In fact he was so obsessed
with his desire for these finny denizens of the deep,
that he issued a royal agree
which forbade anyone other than himself
to eat even one mussel of his highness's favorite food.
His subjects bitter complaints only makes things worse.
Catching fish without a royal license was forbidden.
And anyone found keeping one as a pet
was severally punished.
The shogun sorrowful forced a free their finny friends
or suffer the fate of facing
the fatal fury of the fish fancy fire out.
No one was safe from the fish police
and soon all the fish in the kingdom were locked away
in Tuna Breath's water-filled vault.
But then on a fishing trip Tuna Breath fell overboard
and was eaten by a giant grouper and
the vault was sealed up and forgotten.
Until today.
Terrific!
What am I supposed to do now?
I'll tell you precisely what you should do your big dummy.
Go away and leave us alone.
Forget it.
There's got to be something valuable in there somewhere
and you'll dig 'till you find it.
-Understand? -[Speedy laughs]
[Guido] Give up Bad Bird
or I'll crock you cleaner than a Thanksgiving turkey
and use your feathers for pillow stuffing.
Oh yeah?
We'll just have to see about that.
[narrator] Guido carries his favorite weapon.
The Samurai Sunspot Umbrella.
It also comes in handy, when it rains.
[narrator] Polly prefers to use cat power passion power.
Because the passionate power of love
will win all over evil every time. Love ya!
[narrator] Speedy the sword master.
The magical Ginsu sword will cut through anything.
And it's a terrific letter opener.
[narrator] These are three of the heroic crime fighters
- who call themselves... -[All] Samurai Pizza Cats!
Oh, I knew you would come eventually.
I mean, I knew you'll be late but not this late.
That silly woman is driving me nuts.
-[Lucille gasps] -[Bad Bird caw]
Hey, I take it back. I apologize.
[Bad Bird] Oh yes I do! -[Lucille crying]
[loud explosion] [everybody screaming]
[narrator] The shock waves caused
by the explosion raise upwards.
Is Little Tokyo in danger?
No fair, it was almost finished!
[Bad Bird grunting]
I won't forget this Pizza Cats.
We're outta here. You robots
take an escape turn off.
[robots] Good taken.
[narrator] Just look at those crazy robots,
Joe, Kenian, Janette.
[Speedy grunting] Oh brother!
Lucille, are you all right?
Yes Speedy, but those meanies closed
the tunnel behind 'em. We're trapped!
-[Polly] We better get help. -Right.
We'll send the alarm right away.
[bell ringing]
Oh! That's trouble.
I better call Meowzma and [indistinct].
[moaning] My goodness.
Lucille blew her top again and destroyed the subway tunnel.
If the roof caves in they will be crashed like ants.
You've gotta move faster, they don't stand a chance.
I'll get them out of there. I'm on my way.
[Francine] Folks we've got an emergency here
so just for a second cover your ears.
[Francine shout] Fire!
[narrator] Meowzma is one bad cat.
Bad for bad guys that is.
With his shoulder drills and elbow saws.
His specialty is boldly going
where no cat has gone before.
At least not the way Meowzma gets there.
-[guy] Hey, what's that sound? -[Lucille sighs]
-Meowzma is on its way! -All right.
Right just follow me everybody.
-I'll get you out of here. -[Polly] Thank goodness.
[everybody screaming and grunting]
[narrator] Meanwhile bad bird
and his gang are still trying dig their way to the surface.
Unfortunately the robots have one major flaw.
They have no sense of direction.
This is bad news for Bad Bird
who is too tired for even notice
that he is right back where he started.
The good news is. He won' be thirsty much longer.
-[Speedy screaming] -[Bad Bird grunts and screams]
[everybody screaming]
Well there goes my new wax job.
-[Bird Bird] Wax Job? -It's you.
Well who do expect, your cousin from Cleveland?
Ninjas don't just stand there. Get the robots to come!
[everybody screaming]
-[crows grunting] -[Guido] Bye!
[indistinct]
[Bad Bird grunting]
You made me mad, you shouldn't have done that.
Three. Two. One.
Cyclone spin!
[energetic music]
[everybody screaming]
[robot laughing]
[Speedy grunting]
[robot 1] [indistinct]
[Speedy gasps and screams]
-[Speedy] Hey you! -[Robot] You're talking to me?
For the last time.
Because a few seconds from now I'm going to turn you
into a big pile of scrap metal
so your days as a conversationalist...
are over!
[narrator] The magical Ginsu sword will cut through anything.
[indistinct]
The steel in Speedy's sword is
forged from a magical formula,
known only to the smith masters of the shoguns.
Samurai Pizza Cat!
[loud explosion] [robots screaming]
[energetic music continues]
[narrator] Once again the Samurai Pizza Cats
have won the day.
Gee, what a surprise!
[grunts] The question again is. What's for dinner?
[narrator] Later at the headquarters
of the Big Cheese.
[Big Cheese] Gold fish.
If it weren't a library book I ripped into pieces.
I'm so upset I might just do it anyway.
I hate those cats and I'll get rid of them
even if it's the last thing I'll ever do.
[gasps] Here we go again.
-[Big Cheese grunting] -[Bad Bird screaming]
Now that's what I call a real lousy day.
You know what they say, that's showbiz.
[narrator] During that terrible ordeal
Lucille has made new friends.
[Lucille] Your place or mine?
[narrator] And so ends another day of crime fighting
crow bashing, robot wrecking and
causing lawn rodents to self-destruct.
How about a gold fish and sausage pizza for dinner?
[Speedy meows]
On the next...
Pizza cats!
[narrator] Little Tokyo is sense spinning
when a giant burning Buddha appears in town
offering to solve every one's problems.
For a price.
All the residents have to do is buy a karma card
from a giant golden bird and all the troubles will vanish.
Gime five cards to go.
[narrator] Of course the Big Cheese is behind this
in a plan to bilk all the money out of the hands
of the trusting town's people.
This brings our heroes into the act as they battle fiercely
to expose this Trojan Buddha in return order to the town.
But it won't be easy fight the Buddha
not only speaks with a force tongue
It fights with a dozen arms.
Will the Big Cheese get all the town's money?
Will the Pizza Cats bring the town back to its senses?
Will Speedy have to take a second job?
Find out the answer to these
and other shaking questions in the great golden clock.
On the next Samurai Pizza Cats
the heroes that always land on their feet.
Ladies and gentleman the Samurai Pizza Cats
fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are Samurai
and I'd like to note.
Their antics take your breath away.
Like furballs in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed, we never call retreat.
[Guido] Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down.
We land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh Pizza Cat
please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink
you know you'll fight like...
Pizza Cats!
[closing theme song]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show ♪
♪ It's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
♪ Oh gosh.♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh yes♪
♪ All over town♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight.♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Read all the credits♪
♪ So you'll know Who did the work♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
Would somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Oooh yeah♪
♪ Who do you call When you want some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Right on!
♪ They're stepping out crime
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ That's right! A heck of a fighter♪
♪ Makes a heck of a lunch.♪
♪ And little Polly Esther♪
♪ Who's never afraid That's me!♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade.♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovy A wild romantic rover.♪
♪ This cat gets down down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here comes the Pizza Cats They're so bad♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle had♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Step on their tails Out of my tail♪
♪ And you're gonna get hurt♪
♪ Don't hurt me♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats!♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town♪
♪ Three, two, one
♪ The Pizza Cats Are on the run♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain Who's lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja crows♪
♪ As soon as someone finds The script♪
♪ We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit back and rest your feet And turn the sound up high.♪
♪ And if you want The full effects♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] Our story begins as Guido and Speedy
race to Lucille's tea house.
-[Guido] I'm winning! -Guido! Stop!
-Hey that's a foul. -[Speedy] What foul?
[indistinct chatter]
Lucille left us a note.
[Speedy] Sorry! Changed my mind, went shopping.
Oh No! Boy!
You mean we ran all the way over here for nothing?
She knew we had a date today.
How can she stand us up like this?
She wouldn't pull a dirty trick like that,
she just changed her mind and forgot to tell us.
Yeah! I suppose reason Lucille has such a clean manner
that she changes it so often.
[Speedy grunts]
[narrator] At this point you might be wondering
where is Lucille?
Then again you might be wondering,
why am I watching this silly show?
I'll answer these questions in order.
First of all Lucille is boarding the subway express
on her way to enjoyable afternoon
with her credit cards at the shopping mall.
Now before I answer this second question
a more important question must be answered.
Does this engineer look board
or worried to his razor sharp instincts tell him
there's danger aboard this train?
Guess not!
[engineer grunts]
[Bad Bird] Excuse the interruption
-but can we borrow your train? -[engineer grunts]
[Bad bird] Pay attention you idiots.
This train is now under the control
of the Gorgonzola gang.
Anyone attempting to interfere with us will be penalized.
Those who try to escape will fail.
Those who do escape will face the ultimate punishment.
No Bad Bird! Not the ultimate punishment.
[Bad Bird] Yes, none of you will be invited to my birthday party.
[narrator] Face with such a dire threat
the passengers are hopelessly helpless.
Can Bad Bird carries out his wicked scheme without a hatch?
Not without a hatch, I mean for a hooch.
Oh that is to say like clockwork.
[narrator clears throat] Later at Pizza Cat headquarters.
[Polly] Did you guys read this article
about the subway train?
How can something that large disappear?
It's a mystery that's for sure
and speaking of mystery,
what are we having for dinner tonight?
This is no time for joke, Speedy.
Hey, if we don't make the show funny we're in big trouble.
Funny! [laughing]
[Guido] We have to look everywhere.
Everywhere? You mean for the missing train?
What train?
Speedy I was talking about Lucille,
-she is missing. -[Polly gasps]
-Are you positive? -No.
I just thought it be would a fun thing to say.
I just saw something,
she could be on that train that disappeared.
[Guido and Polly] What?
[narrator] And so the pizza Cats begin searching for Lucille
in the deep dark darkness of the
decidedly dangerous tunnels,
determined to discover her whereabouts.
As Speedy's helmet light pierces the darkness
he realizes that he still doesn't know
what Polly is having for dinner.
It's absolutely impossible
for a whole subway train to disappear.
It's got to be down here somewhere.
It's gotta be.
On the other hand,
there could be a monster or UFOs or mutants
who knows, this is a cartoon.
[moaning] They can do anything they want.
[narrator] Our heroes have no way of knowing
that the objects of their search is only a few feet away.
[Bad Bird] Silence!
-There's a lot of digging to do. -[all whimpering]
And you're the ones who are gonna do it!
You work 'til you drop, or else!
-[all gasp and groan] -[Bad Bird laughs]
And now the time has come to begin.
[Screaming] Are all my robots ready?
[robots] Ready.
-And now the pickaxe. -[robot] Ready.
[Bad Bird] Excellent!
[Bad Bird laughs] Begin!
[energetic music]
[narrator] Hey! It's subway tunnel fever.
Right on!
-[Bad Bird] Now it's your turn. -[all gasp]
No talking, no complaining and no smoking!
[narrator] Meanwhile at the gangs headquarters.
[Big Cheese] Well Jerry what's the word from Bad bird?
Is everything going according to plan?
And how's the tunnel coming along?
Their almost to the oil vault.
In just a few hours,
we'll have access to the treasure house of the emperor,
and after we've stolen the gold and filled in the tunnel,
the mystery of the missing treasure will never been solved.
-It's the perfect crime. -[Big Cheese chuckles]
I'll be at able to pay off all my credit cards.
and afford retail prices again.
The first thing we're going to do,
is to buy ourselves a certain pizza parlor.
And get rid of the Samurai Pizza Cats!
[Big Cheese chuckling]
I suppose I better return this to the library.
We wouldn't want it to be overdue. [evil laughing]
[narrator] Meanwhile the exhausted passengers
of the hijacked train are on their last legs.
[Lucille gasps] Oh, you poor thing.
I'm an old man my dear, I don't have the firm body
that I used to have.
I'll help you.
Oh!
Look! Here is one.
[screams and grunts]
-You Idiot! -[Lucille moaning]
I said firm body not worm buddy.
Hey! Why aren't you working?
[sighs] My doctor's orders.
He told me not to attempt any strenuous exercise.
That's because he knows you're a wimp.
-[Lucille crying and screaming] -[Bad Bird screams]
[crows screaming]
[loud explosion] [crows screaming]
[narrator] The powerful explosion
is destroying Lady Vi's palace.
Hey, no fair now I'll have to start all over again.
[narrator] Meanwhile down in the dank and dangerous darkness
of the subterranean depths.
-[Bad Bird sneezes] -What now?
Now? No more Mr. Nice guy!
Bad bird, you're a bad bird.
Now I'm all upset again.
You meany! [crying]
[everybody screaming]
She's about to blow her top again!
[Lucille crying]
[crows screaming]
[narrator] In a nearby tunnel
Speedy has come to a sudden realization.
Gee whiz Polly, you never did tell me
what kind of pizza we're having for dinner.
Anchovy and yoghurt.
[narrator] And then a clue to Lucille's
whereabouts appears.
-[Guido and Polly screams] -[Speedy] Hey look.
That's one of Lucille's missiles.
[Polly] It flew by so fast. Are you sure Speedy?
[loud explosion] -[all grunt]
-I am now. -[Polly grunts]
[Polly] Hey you two look at this.
[Guido] What is it Polly?
A secret tunnel. Bet ya the trains are down there.
-Let's look. -[Guido sighs]
How about a little later?
Let's later!
[all scream]
[exciting music] [all panting]
[all scream]
[narrator] It's a tense moment for the Samurai Pizza Cats.
Will our heroes be able to outrun the deadly missile?
Outrun a missile?
Come, on get real will ya?
[Guido screams] [loud explosion]
[Guido, Speedy and Polly screaming]
[narrator] It looks like our heroes are in big trouble.
[Guido grunts and coughs]
We just fine!
I think. [grunts]
Now that we've eaten our dinner and got our strength back,
I think it's time for us go and rescue Lucille.
We'll teach Bad Bird and his boys
what happens when you mess
with the Samurai...
[Guido] Pizza...
[Guido, Speedy and Polly] Cats!
[theme music]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They make great pizza But that ain't all♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're ready to fight When you need 'em just call♪
♪ They know how to stop crime Just do what they say.♪
♪ If you don't want a bad time Stay out of their way!♪
♪ Oh I love those cats♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ The heroes Who always wear fur♪
[Francine] Grab your bag hold on to your hats,
it's blast off time for the Pizza Cats.
Okay folks they're on their way,
the blast off pizza special today
is peanut butter with fish fillet.
Mamma look! There is a sewer.
A lot of people need a second job
in order to pay their rent dear.
[Junior gasps]
[narrator] Meanwhile in the climate gloom of the grim
and granite the mist of a smoke smudge subway tunnel,
you can bet that Bad Bird is a bit perturbed.
[Bad Bird couching] What a knuckle sandwich.
If you feed everyone else too.
Hey boss, look at that.
There's some kind of weird wall over there.
Ha-ha! That's it!
[Bad Bird laughs] The secret entry way to the vault.
-[everybody gasp] -[Bad Bird] Watch this!
Mine. It's all mine! [grunts]
[Bad Bird grunting]
-What's the matter boss? -[Bad Bird] You idiot.
Can't you see?
Well in case you haven't notice Bad Bird
it's kind of dark down here.
You fool!
The treasure map shows there's gold in here.
Not fish. [gasps and grunts]
[narrator] Bad Bird has just realize
that the gangs perfect crime has been a total waste of time.
The Big Cheese have been informed
that within the royal library
was an ancient map showing the location of the emperor's
secret vault containing a fortune in gold.
One word of the map's instruction however was missing,
and Bad Bird now knows precisely what that word was.
Now I understand...
The instructions didn't say the emperor's vault was filled
-with gold but with gold fish. -Why?
How should I know, ask the narrator.
[narrator] The fish filled vault is the legacy
of the legendary shogun Tokugawa Tuna Breath.
Who ate nothing but seafood.
And who's favorite dish was freshly cut fish.
In fact he was so obsessed
with his desire for these finny denizens of the deep,
that he issued a royal agree
which forbade anyone other than himself
to eat even one mussel of his highness's favorite food.
His subjects bitter complaints only makes things worse.
Catching fish without a royal license was forbidden.
And anyone found keeping one as a pet
was severally punished.
The shogun sorrowful forced a free their finny friends
or suffer the fate of facing
the fatal fury of the fish fancy fire out.
No one was safe from the fish police
and soon all the fish in the kingdom were locked away
in Tuna Breath's water-filled vault.
But then on a fishing trip Tuna Breath fell overboard
and was eaten by a giant grouper and
the vault was sealed up and forgotten.
Until today.
Terrific!
What am I supposed to do now?
I'll tell you precisely what you should do your big dummy.
Go away and leave us alone.
Forget it.
There's got to be something valuable in there somewhere
and you'll dig 'till you find it.
-Understand? -[Speedy laughs]
[Guido] Give up Bad Bird
or I'll crock you cleaner than a Thanksgiving turkey
and use your feathers for pillow stuffing.
Oh yeah?
We'll just have to see about that.
[narrator] Guido carries his favorite weapon.
The Samurai Sunspot Umbrella.
It also comes in handy, when it rains.
[narrator] Polly prefers to use cat power passion power.
Because the passionate power of love
will win all over evil every time. Love ya!
[narrator] Speedy the sword master.
The magical Ginsu sword will cut through anything.
And it's a terrific letter opener.
[narrator] These are three of the heroic crime fighters
- who call themselves... -[All] Samurai Pizza Cats!
Oh, I knew you would come eventually.
I mean, I knew you'll be late but not this late.
That silly woman is driving me nuts.
-[Lucille gasps] -[Bad Bird caw]
Hey, I take it back. I apologize.
[Bad Bird] Oh yes I do! -[Lucille crying]
[loud explosion] [everybody screaming]
[narrator] The shock waves caused
by the explosion raise upwards.
Is Little Tokyo in danger?
No fair, it was almost finished!
[Bad Bird grunting]
I won't forget this Pizza Cats.
We're outta here. You robots
take an escape turn off.
[robots] Good taken.
[narrator] Just look at those crazy robots,
Joe, Kenian, Janette.
[Speedy grunting] Oh brother!
Lucille, are you all right?
Yes Speedy, but those meanies closed
the tunnel behind 'em. We're trapped!
-[Polly] We better get help. -Right.
We'll send the alarm right away.
[bell ringing]
Oh! That's trouble.
I better call Meowzma and [indistinct].
[moaning] My goodness.
Lucille blew her top again and destroyed the subway tunnel.
If the roof caves in they will be crashed like ants.
You've gotta move faster, they don't stand a chance.
I'll get them out of there. I'm on my way.
[Francine] Folks we've got an emergency here
so just for a second cover your ears.
[Francine shout] Fire!
[narrator] Meowzma is one bad cat.
Bad for bad guys that is.
With his shoulder drills and elbow saws.
His specialty is boldly going
where no cat has gone before.
At least not the way Meowzma gets there.
-[guy] Hey, what's that sound? -[Lucille sighs]
-Meowzma is on its way! -All right.
Right just follow me everybody.
-I'll get you out of here. -[Polly] Thank goodness.
[everybody screaming and grunting]
[narrator] Meanwhile bad bird
and his gang are still trying dig their way to the surface.
Unfortunately the robots have one major flaw.
They have no sense of direction.
This is bad news for Bad Bird
who is too tired for even notice
that he is right back where he started.
The good news is. He won' be thirsty much longer.
-[Speedy screaming] -[Bad Bird grunts and screams]
[everybody screaming]
Well there goes my new wax job.
-[Bird Bird] Wax Job? -It's you.
Well who do expect, your cousin from Cleveland?
Ninjas don't just stand there. Get the robots to come!
[everybody screaming]
-[crows grunting] -[Guido] Bye!
[indistinct]
[Bad Bird grunting]
You made me mad, you shouldn't have done that.
Three. Two. One.
Cyclone spin!
[energetic music]
[everybody screaming]
[robot laughing]
[Speedy grunting]
[robot 1] [indistinct]
[Speedy gasps and screams]
-[Speedy] Hey you! -[Robot] You're talking to me?
For the last time.
Because a few seconds from now I'm going to turn you
into a big pile of scrap metal
so your days as a conversationalist...
are over!
[narrator] The magical Ginsu sword will cut through anything.
[indistinct]
The steel in Speedy's sword is
forged from a magical formula,
known only to the smith masters of the shoguns.
Samurai Pizza Cat!
[loud explosion] [robots screaming]
[energetic music continues]
[narrator] Once again the Samurai Pizza Cats
have won the day.
Gee, what a surprise!
[grunts] The question again is. What's for dinner?
[narrator] Later at the headquarters
of the Big Cheese.
[Big Cheese] Gold fish.
If it weren't a library book I ripped into pieces.
I'm so upset I might just do it anyway.
I hate those cats and I'll get rid of them
even if it's the last thing I'll ever do.
[gasps] Here we go again.
-[Big Cheese grunting] -[Bad Bird screaming]
Now that's what I call a real lousy day.
You know what they say, that's showbiz.
[narrator] During that terrible ordeal
Lucille has made new friends.
[Lucille] Your place or mine?
[narrator] And so ends another day of crime fighting
crow bashing, robot wrecking and
causing lawn rodents to self-destruct.
How about a gold fish and sausage pizza for dinner?
[Speedy meows]
On the next...
Pizza cats!
[narrator] Little Tokyo is sense spinning
when a giant burning Buddha appears in town
offering to solve every one's problems.
For a price.
All the residents have to do is buy a karma card
from a giant golden bird and all the troubles will vanish.
Gime five cards to go.
[narrator] Of course the Big Cheese is behind this
in a plan to bilk all the money out of the hands
of the trusting town's people.
This brings our heroes into the act as they battle fiercely
to expose this Trojan Buddha in return order to the town.
But it won't be easy fight the Buddha
not only speaks with a force tongue
It fights with a dozen arms.
Will the Big Cheese get all the town's money?
Will the Pizza Cats bring the town back to its senses?
Will Speedy have to take a second job?
Find out the answer to these
and other shaking questions in the great golden clock.
On the next Samurai Pizza Cats
the heroes that always land on their feet.
Ladies and gentleman the Samurai Pizza Cats
fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are Samurai
and I'd like to note.
Their antics take your breath away.
Like furballs in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed, we never call retreat.
[Guido] Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down.
We land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh Pizza Cat
please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink
you know you'll fight like...
Pizza Cats!
[closing theme song]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show ♪
♪ It's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
♪ Oh gosh.♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh yes♪
♪ All over town♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight.♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Read all the credits♪
♪ So you'll know Who did the work♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪