Samurai Jack (2001–2017): Season 3, Episode 3 - Episode XXIX - Couple on a Train - full transcript

Samurai Jack boards a train in the new old West and finds himself cornered by bounty hunter Ezekiel Clench as well as a beautiful filly named Josephine.

Long ago in a distant land...

l, Aku, the shape-shifting
master of darkness...

unleashed an unspeakable evil.

But a foolish samurai warrior...

wielding a magic sword...

stepped forth to oppose me.

Before the final blow
was struck...

l tore open a portal in time...

and flung him into the future...

where my evil is law.

Now the fool seeks
to return to the past...



and undo the future that is Aku.

Gotta get back

Back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back,
back to the past

- Samurai Jack
- Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back,
back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out!

Gotta get back,
back to the past

Samurai Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack



Gotta get back

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch--watch out!

Gotta get back

Jack, Jack, Jack

Samurai Jack

Watch out!

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l thought l told you bums
to stay out of here.

Unless you want some more, eh?

Are you the proprietor
of this establishment?

That would be me.

- l am Sam--
- l know who you are.

A man could get rich
selling your skin, boy.

Perhaps you can get rich
selling something to me
instead.

Sell you what, exactly?

lnformation.

Hey, how much money you say
you had there, my friend?

Heh heh heh!

A pleasure
doing business with you.

Huh?

Wait!

l know why you're here.

You seek the samurai, yes?

You aim to collect
the bounty on him, eh?

l would like to help you,
Senor Clench...

but he has already left.

He took the train to Cordova.

Y-You still might catch him
if you hurry.

Hey, look, we're closed,
all right?

'Cause l just had
a really tough...

day?

l'm sorry. Were you closin'?

No, no. Come on in. Sit down.

Uh, what can l get you?

l'd love an ice-cold
ginger ale...

if you've got one.

Actually, l'm very curious about
the conversation you had...

with that big, tall gentleman
that just left.

Oh.

l guess you like
them big, tall types, eh?

Well, l ought to.

l used to be married to one.

Stand clear!

Yes. ln fact,
it's boarding right now.

Halt!

Tickets.

Tickets, please. Tickets.

Here you are.

Drive.

Your tea, sir.

Your tea, sir.

Ahem.

Thank you.

Josephine?

What in tarnation
are you doin' here?

Well, it's nice
to see you, too, Ezekiel.

Aw, shoot.

There ain't never been
nothin' nice about you, woman.

Now, now...

let's not get nasty, darlin'.

Don't call me ''darlin'.''

Well, then don't act
like a fool!

l know what you're up to.

You're after the bounty
on that samurai.

What business is it of yours?

l want in!

Pshh! No.

You need me.

He's better than you!

Ain't nobody better
than me, woman.

You ought to know that.

Besides, the court says...

you ain't even supposed to
come within 150 feet of me...

so back off!

Looking for a seat?

Yep. Yours.

l'm gonna make a lot of money
cashin' in on your hide.

l hear that often,
but only from poor men.

Hmm. Well,
l got bills to pay...

and l done already addressed
the envelopes.

l hope you have yet to stamp
the postage on your parcels for
you--

Consider 'em stamped.

Oh! My chickens!

Oh!

Yowch!

Argh!

Aww.

Huh?

Grrr...

Heh heh heh!

Just like my pa used to say
on a cold mornin'--

Let's get to work, boy...

'cause the heat's in the tools.

Aw, see, now,
you know how l like it--

just the way l showed you.

Aaaah!

Huh?

Heh heh heh.

Huh?

Whoa!

Whoa! Unh! Whoa!

Galdang durn it!

Hey...

Excuse me.

May l?

Yes. Of course.

Nice day, isn't it?

Yes.

A bit hot, though.

Uh, yes, it is.

Do you know where
the best seat in the house is?

No. Where?

On the roof.

Really?

Sure. lt's got
plenty of fresh air...

360-degree views...

and it's very private.

Well...

l think l'm gonna go
up on the roof.

Yes. OK.

lt was nice
speaking to you, ma'am.

You're not just
gonna let a lady...

go up on the roof unescorted,
are you?

Of course not.

lsn't it beautiful?

Yes, it is.

l wanted to thank you
for saving us all...

from that awful, terrible,
ugly old bandit earlier.

You were so brave.

Thank you.

Ooh! And so strong, too.

Y'all look so cute
up here on the veranda...

l figured l'd fix you up
some lemonade--

fresh-squeezed.

Heh heh heh!

Ooh!

Stand back, ma'am.
Once again...

this bandit has reared
his ugly head.

Unh!

Well, l guess love is blind...

'cause that ugly head didn't
keep me from marrying him.

Who you callin' ugly?

Ooh! Unh!

Grrr...

Looks like we'll have to
stick this here jackrabbit...

like we did that old boy
back in Kansas City.

Yes, darlin'. l see your point.

Unh!

Ha! We ain't the most notorious
man-catchers for nothin', you
know.

Oh!

Ooh!

Uhh!

He's gettin' away!

Don't worry, woman. l'm on it.

Don't let him get
to his sword, you idiot!

A woman's work is never done.

Dagnabbit!
Can't you shoot straight?

Don't get uppity, woman.

l don't see you makin'
no daylight in his broadside.

He went over the side!
Come on. We got him now.

Get on up here
where's l can shoot you...

you little chipmunk.

Hmm. Consarnit,
l can't get a bead on him.

Hey, Quick Straw,
l think someone...

is breaking out
the fights on the train.

Now, hold on there, Baba Louis.

Ain't nobody gonna do
no kind of fightin'...

on this here train,
on account of you and me--

Hey! Who turned out the lights?

ls it sleepy-time already?

Unh!

Huh?

Hey, fool!
Don't shoot up the engine!

Elsewise, we'll be stuck
out here in the desert!

Huh? Oh, yeah.

Good morning.
You're just in time.

l was fixin' to make me
some flapjacks!

Huh?

The South shall rise again!

Well, now, ain't that
a purty little package...

tied up with a bow?

Yup. Hogtied,
just like that pig...

we caught back in Gower Gulch.

Ha! Yes, sirree.

There ain't a polecat around...

who can slip through the grip
of the Clenches.

l reckon we're just
a pair of aces, ain't we?

Yup. Just like old times, Josie.

Just like old times.

You know, Zeke...

all this excitement
has got me to wonderin'.

Why'd we ever split up?

Workin' together again...

stirs up all them
good old feelings.

Well, Josie...

you know l was always
powerful sweet on you, but--

Aw, but nothin', Zeke.

l loved watchin'
the way you handled...

that cagey old samurai.

You're just so brave...

and so strong.

You make a girl feel
all aflutter.

Don't you see, Zeke?

lt's just like Kansas City
all over again.

And what with this huge bounty
we're about to collect...

l could end up...

twice as rich!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Dagburnit, Josie!

You consarn, framalandin',
flamdanglin'...

snake-in-sheep's-wool-
over-my-eyes...

trick-up-her-sleeve...

whoo-hoo witchy woman!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh! Aah!

Uh, Zeke?

Sugarplum?

Maybe l was a mite hasty.

Court says 150 feet, woman.

150 feet!

Watch out!

Gotta get back,
back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back,
back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out

Gotta get back,
back to the past

- Samurai Jack
- Jack

Jack, Jack, Jack

Gotta get back,
back to the past

Samurai Jack

Watch out!

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack

Watch out!

Gotta get back

Samurai Jack

Watch--watch out