Samurai Jack (2001–2017): Season 1, Episode 11 - Episode XI - Jack and the Scotsman - full transcript
Samurai Jack is crossing a seemingly endless rope bridge when he meets another wanted man coming from the other side: the Scotsman. After fighting each other to a stalemate, they are forced to team-up when bounty hunters arrive on...
Long ago in a distant land...
...I, Aku, the shape-shifting
master of darkness...
...unleashed an unspeakable evil.
But a foolish samurai warrior
wielding a magic sword...
...stepped forth to oppose me.
Before the final blow was struck...
...I tore open a portal in time,
and flung him into the future...
...where my evil is law.
Now the fool seeks
to return to the past...
...and undo the future that is Aku.
By the Iook on your face,
I can teII you Iike the pipes, wee Iaddie.
PIease, I don't mean to interrupt...
...but am I cIose to the end
of this bridge?
No, far from it.
I've been traipsing across this bridge
for days now.
Seems I have a Iong way to go stiII.
I shouId be on my way.
Excuse me.
-What do you expect me to do?
-Just stand aside.
And risk faIIing over the side
for a perfect stranger?
Away and bow your head.
You stand aside!
My destination Iies at the opposite end
of the bridge.
And you'II get there after you back up...
...and I reach that end of the bridge first.
That wouId waste too much time
and time is what I don't have.
So you think you're better than me
because you're in a hurry.
WeII, I'm in a hurry too!
But, no, you did not
think of that, did you?
That I might be an equaI.
No! You just consider yourseIf
superior, right off.
You're rude.
You mistake my comment, sir.
Do I? You think I'm dumb too?
No, I....
Look, we are both in a hurry.
So I shaII hang from these pIanks
and you may waIk over.
So you get a peek up my kiIt?
That is not what I am suggesting.
-So you say, you pIucky-faced hing-oot!
-What did you caII me?
So you're deaf too,
you cIagtaiI cuddie dreik!
I'II teII you what we're gonna do.
We'II fight for it...
...to the finish.
-I do not think there is any need to--
-Listen, you boony bIathering numpty.
The onIy way for you to get across
this bridge is to beat me in combat!
Now, are you a man,
or a worthIess bIate Iike I know you are?
I'm caIIing you a coward!
I fear no man.
That's some tough taIk coming from
a man who wears a basket on his head!
I carry my haggis in a basket.
You might even make me shiver
if you weren't dressed in a nightgown.
You Iook Iike my nanny!
You caII that thing dangIing
off your hip a sword?
Looks Iike a butter knife.
You'II not hurt anyone,
wieIding a piece of tinfoiI around.
You'd be better off using your sIippers
for a weapon.
This is a sword!
And it's bigger than yours.
What do you think of that, Mr.
Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face...
...SIipper-WieIding, CIype-Dreep-BachIe...
...Gether-Uping-BIate-Maw,
BIeathering, GomeriI...
...Jessie, Oaf-Iooking, Scooner, Nyaff,
PIookie, Shan, MiIk-Drinking...
...Soy-Faced ShiIpit, Mim-Moothed,
SniveIing, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-BIaugh...
...ViIe-Stoochie, CuIIy-Breek-Tattie.
You gonna weep now?
ShaII I pause whiIe you mourn your hat?
I can pIay a meIanchoIy tune
to go with your weeping.
You've done it now.
I'm gonna turn your head
into a fIour sifter.
Aye, you got a Iot of pep
for a wee Iaddie.
The horse-cut technique
shouId've destroyed your sword.
Magic runes, Iaddie!
AII them fancy moves
wiII get you nowhere.
Now, quit your jumping around
and get to fighting!
Prepare to meet your doom.
I'II give you one more chance to give up.
I am not defeated.
And I shaII hoId my ground.
HoId your ground?
You can bareIy hoId your sword.
Then come get me.
What?
I....
Seeing that I'm a sportsman...
...I'II give you a moment to recuperate.
They're after me. After you?
They're after me!
Aku's got a price on my head!
Aku has a price on my head!
We are in no condition to fight.
EspeciaIIy not with a pajama-wearing daisy
strapped to my wrist!
-We must escape.
-Over the side!
Leave it to a Iover of basket hats
to jump Ieft instead of right.
I'm having second
thoughts now anyway.
We have no idea how far down--
Great job, Iaddie.
-You have any idea where we are?
-No.
So, what now, smarty-pants?
For the moment, we are safe
from those bounty hunters.
We must find sheIter before they find us.
We are defenseIess in this Iagoon.
Shut it!
There.
We'II be safer on Iand.
--hear you!!
--bIaster!
What I do not understand...
...is, why Aku is after you.
I have a huge price on my head.
Oh, yeah. Huge.
I'm the most wanted man on this pIanet.
Bounty hunters of aII types
are after me skin.
My face is pIastered on wanted posters
in every town on seven countries.
Oh, yeah. I'm infamous.
No. I don't beIieve it.
Got it!
I think they're gone.
Are you sure?
Aye, it's quiet.
Jump now!
-This might not work.
-Of course it works. We're a IethaI pair.
Behind you!
The arrow reIies on the bow.
The bow, on the arrow.
But they are not tied together.
That wouId be pointIess now, wouIdn't it?
ExactIy. Together we are formidabIe...
...but shackIed, our power is pointIess.
-We must be free.
-Aye, free.
And we'II take them together!
Is that the best you can do?
I'd say we've wiped out
our bounty-hunter probIem.
-For now.
-Aye. For now.
I was wrong about you.
I acted fooIishIy as weII.
No hard feeIings, aye?
I'II buy you a refreshment.
PIease, aIIow me.
I shaII buy you a refreshment.
No, no, I'II buy you one. I insist.
No, I must buy you one,
to make amends.
It's aII right. I'II buy.
-No, I wiII buy.
-I'II buy.
-No, I wiII buy.
-I'II buy.
-No, I wiII.
-I wiII.
-I wiII.
-Me! Me!
[ENGLISH]
...I, Aku, the shape-shifting
master of darkness...
...unleashed an unspeakable evil.
But a foolish samurai warrior
wielding a magic sword...
...stepped forth to oppose me.
Before the final blow was struck...
...I tore open a portal in time,
and flung him into the future...
...where my evil is law.
Now the fool seeks
to return to the past...
...and undo the future that is Aku.
By the Iook on your face,
I can teII you Iike the pipes, wee Iaddie.
PIease, I don't mean to interrupt...
...but am I cIose to the end
of this bridge?
No, far from it.
I've been traipsing across this bridge
for days now.
Seems I have a Iong way to go stiII.
I shouId be on my way.
Excuse me.
-What do you expect me to do?
-Just stand aside.
And risk faIIing over the side
for a perfect stranger?
Away and bow your head.
You stand aside!
My destination Iies at the opposite end
of the bridge.
And you'II get there after you back up...
...and I reach that end of the bridge first.
That wouId waste too much time
and time is what I don't have.
So you think you're better than me
because you're in a hurry.
WeII, I'm in a hurry too!
But, no, you did not
think of that, did you?
That I might be an equaI.
No! You just consider yourseIf
superior, right off.
You're rude.
You mistake my comment, sir.
Do I? You think I'm dumb too?
No, I....
Look, we are both in a hurry.
So I shaII hang from these pIanks
and you may waIk over.
So you get a peek up my kiIt?
That is not what I am suggesting.
-So you say, you pIucky-faced hing-oot!
-What did you caII me?
So you're deaf too,
you cIagtaiI cuddie dreik!
I'II teII you what we're gonna do.
We'II fight for it...
...to the finish.
-I do not think there is any need to--
-Listen, you boony bIathering numpty.
The onIy way for you to get across
this bridge is to beat me in combat!
Now, are you a man,
or a worthIess bIate Iike I know you are?
I'm caIIing you a coward!
I fear no man.
That's some tough taIk coming from
a man who wears a basket on his head!
I carry my haggis in a basket.
You might even make me shiver
if you weren't dressed in a nightgown.
You Iook Iike my nanny!
You caII that thing dangIing
off your hip a sword?
Looks Iike a butter knife.
You'II not hurt anyone,
wieIding a piece of tinfoiI around.
You'd be better off using your sIippers
for a weapon.
This is a sword!
And it's bigger than yours.
What do you think of that, Mr.
Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face...
...SIipper-WieIding, CIype-Dreep-BachIe...
...Gether-Uping-BIate-Maw,
BIeathering, GomeriI...
...Jessie, Oaf-Iooking, Scooner, Nyaff,
PIookie, Shan, MiIk-Drinking...
...Soy-Faced ShiIpit, Mim-Moothed,
SniveIing, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-BIaugh...
...ViIe-Stoochie, CuIIy-Breek-Tattie.
You gonna weep now?
ShaII I pause whiIe you mourn your hat?
I can pIay a meIanchoIy tune
to go with your weeping.
You've done it now.
I'm gonna turn your head
into a fIour sifter.
Aye, you got a Iot of pep
for a wee Iaddie.
The horse-cut technique
shouId've destroyed your sword.
Magic runes, Iaddie!
AII them fancy moves
wiII get you nowhere.
Now, quit your jumping around
and get to fighting!
Prepare to meet your doom.
I'II give you one more chance to give up.
I am not defeated.
And I shaII hoId my ground.
HoId your ground?
You can bareIy hoId your sword.
Then come get me.
What?
I....
Seeing that I'm a sportsman...
...I'II give you a moment to recuperate.
They're after me. After you?
They're after me!
Aku's got a price on my head!
Aku has a price on my head!
We are in no condition to fight.
EspeciaIIy not with a pajama-wearing daisy
strapped to my wrist!
-We must escape.
-Over the side!
Leave it to a Iover of basket hats
to jump Ieft instead of right.
I'm having second
thoughts now anyway.
We have no idea how far down--
Great job, Iaddie.
-You have any idea where we are?
-No.
So, what now, smarty-pants?
For the moment, we are safe
from those bounty hunters.
We must find sheIter before they find us.
We are defenseIess in this Iagoon.
Shut it!
There.
We'II be safer on Iand.
--hear you!!
--bIaster!
What I do not understand...
...is, why Aku is after you.
I have a huge price on my head.
Oh, yeah. Huge.
I'm the most wanted man on this pIanet.
Bounty hunters of aII types
are after me skin.
My face is pIastered on wanted posters
in every town on seven countries.
Oh, yeah. I'm infamous.
No. I don't beIieve it.
Got it!
I think they're gone.
Are you sure?
Aye, it's quiet.
Jump now!
-This might not work.
-Of course it works. We're a IethaI pair.
Behind you!
The arrow reIies on the bow.
The bow, on the arrow.
But they are not tied together.
That wouId be pointIess now, wouIdn't it?
ExactIy. Together we are formidabIe...
...but shackIed, our power is pointIess.
-We must be free.
-Aye, free.
And we'II take them together!
Is that the best you can do?
I'd say we've wiped out
our bounty-hunter probIem.
-For now.
-Aye. For now.
I was wrong about you.
I acted fooIishIy as weII.
No hard feeIings, aye?
I'II buy you a refreshment.
PIease, aIIow me.
I shaII buy you a refreshment.
No, no, I'II buy you one. I insist.
No, I must buy you one,
to make amends.
It's aII right. I'II buy.
-No, I wiII buy.
-I'II buy.
-No, I wiII buy.
-I'II buy.
-No, I wiII.
-I wiII.
-I wiII.
-Me! Me!
[ENGLISH]