Sally4Ever (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Episode #1.5 - full transcript
Sally's in trouble with her boss Deborah, who thinks Emma's bad for her, but may have ulterior motives. David meets Sally to tell her he's found someone new. A session with their therapist leads Sally and Emma to make some major decisions.
What n... now?
Oh, fuck!
Well, it keeps happening.
The boozy breath,
missing vital meetings,
and I'm sure you've
heard about that e-mail.
Now Jed's wife knows
that I think she looks like a fat dwarf.
Sorry about that.
Eleanor is absolutely looking like
the best candidate for the promotion.
And without getting too personal,
there are grave concerns
that this new relationship you're in
is just not the healthiest for you.
Since you've met this woman,
you... you've changed.
Your work's suffering.
It's going down the
pan to be quite frank.
So, I'm putting you on a formal warning.
- What? A formal warning?
- A formal warning, yes.
God. I mean, is... Why, is... ?
Do you have a problem with
same-sex relationships?
No! God, absolutely not.
I'm not averse to them.
You know, in fact,
I'm very much pro them.
Perhaps you weren't aware
that I, myself, am a homosexual.
No, I wasn't. I wasn't
aware of that. Okay.
And I suppose,
I always thought, perhaps,
there was something between us.
Oh, okay. Um...
I don't know if you recall
that buttery spread launch in Cardiff.
I got the very distinct
feeling... you know when we were...
- Trapped in the hut?
- Trapped in the hut.
I don't know. I thought something
was going to happen between us.
So I was like, I don't know,
a bit stunned when you chose Emma.
Okay, I see. Um...
Well, I didn't exactly choose her,
really, it just kind of happened.
So, you're, like, saying, like,
in a parallel universe, that, you know?
Hmm...
Think so.
- Oh!
- I'm so sorry.
Sorry.
- It's quite hot.
- I'm so sorry.
- Sexual assault.
- Sorry.
- Trying to burn my penis off.
- I'm really sorry, Nigel.
Get some water on it.
I mean, you can hardly notice it. Um...
What-What are you trying to do there?
- You get a wind off that?
- Are you trying to froth my groin?
- I would never do that, Nigel, never.
- Right.
It's, um... it's not
working. Thanks, though. Yeah.
You're always showing off about
it, so I thought, worth a go.
Can I... can I tell you
something really weird?
- Swear you won't tell anyone?
- Yeah.
So basically, Deborah calls
me into her office just now.
- Sort of, give me a bit of a talking to.
- Right.
She kind of ends up saying
that we should be together.
- What?
- It's weird, isn't it?
Yeah. I mean, not the worst
idea in the world, but...
- weird.
- What?
- What do you mean?
- Well...
You and her. Right, yeah.
That's totally weird.
What did you think I meant?
- Yeah, that. It's weird.
- Yeah, it's so weird.
Wow.
I really hope she doesn't fire me.
Look, I could come 'round, and we
could go through the campaign...
- Really?
- ... if you like. After work?
Oh, that'd be brilliant.
- That would be so good.
- What about Thursday?
- Shit, it's David. Hey, David.
- I'll bring a laptop.
Yeah, I'm nearly there
now. I'm in the taxi.
Sorry, David. I really
don't have very long.
I'm in so much shit at work.
How are you, anyway? Everything okay?
Yeah, I'm good. I'm good, thanks. Yeah.
Okay. You look... You look well.
Sal, I've got some news.
I'm... yeah. I've met someone.
- Okay-okay.
- Yeah.
Jemima. Do you remember Jemina from Uni?
- Big Jemima?
- Yeah. Jemima Greg.
- We've reconnected.
- Didn't she have a rape thing?
Yeah, but she still denies
it, and she's a Christian now.
Anyway...
turns out, she's always
had a little flame for me.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we're together.
Yeah, we're an item.
- Right.
- She's just lovely, Sal.
She's lost a lot of weight.
She's shed a lot of the extra pounds,
so she looks lithe and sexy.
You know, she's helped
me move on, and...
Made your hair grow? -Well,
it's not entirely natural.
Why is it gray?
She likes the salt-and-pepper sex look.
It's more some salt, isn't it?
Well, it's, uh... Yeah, she likes it.
And it's given me a sort of sexy boost
in the bedroom, so,
the bump is back and the bump is big.
Okay, is this why you asked
to meet today, 'cause...
Yeah. Things have moved quite fast
because the real news is...
I'm gonna be a father.
- What?
- I'm a baby-maker, honey.
- Good. Congratulations.
- I've got it. I'm virile.
- That's good. Great.
- Yeah, she's just...
- Everything clicks.
- Oh, good. And she's pregnant.
Yes, I know, and rampant!
It's like... argh!
Yeah, very sexy.
I don't need to know
that, I don't think.
Well, she's a sexy
woman, I'm a sexy man,
and that's how sex... things happen.
- It's good sex.
- Great.
And it matters, so, yeah, so, um...
Anyway, we're probably
gonna have to sell the house
because she wants to move to Mauritius
because she's big on squid, and...
loves her seafood.
So, what, I have to move out?
Not immediately, but, you know...
She's out there waiting
in the car, so I better...
Yeah, she wasn't very pleased
I was meeting with you, so.
Yeah, I'll, uh... I'll be in touch.
Can you... Could you pick that up?
Yeah, okay. Bye.
I'm sorry, Em, I just...
I just don't think I
can keep doing this.
I don't think I can... keep...
... keep doing this.
We're not right for each
other, I don't think.
We're just not right. I'm sorry.
Okay, so... Um, Sally, did
you want to start today?
Um, yeah. I feel...
very, very unhappy with Emma.
Just today?
No. All the... All the time.
Okay. Emma?
I think, you know, it's because
she just keeps refusing food.
- Right.
- She's not sleeping.
I'm not sleeping because you're still...
staring at me all night,
and nudging me awake, and...
thrashing around and rolling
really close to me, and I...
I'm having my sleep
broken every single night.
Have you tried a warm,
milky drink before bed?
I haven't tried that, no.
No, exactly. That and a hot bath or...
sometimes I'll mash
up a big 'nana for her,
to try and fill up her tummy.
Sorry, I just... I think it
has something to do with David.
You know, he's met
someone, he's having a baby.
He's making me...
think maybe I did the
wrong thing. I don't know.
One of your many
problems, Sally, is that,
you know, you're not trusting
your instincts, are you?
You were unhappy with David,
you left him for this wonderful lady,
and now you're just not
trusting that instinct.
What's happening for you?
I feel like my instinct is saying,
"Get out," you know.
- So what does that mean?
- Probably not your instincts.
No, it's probably not. It's
probably another part of your brain
that's used to leaping to the negative.
Or it could be the constipation again.
It could be that. I mean, that
can make people moody, difficult.
- I'm not constipated.
- I'm surprised.
So much weird stuff's happened.
I found her with my best
friend's husband, and...
he was passing a stool and masturbating
over her face at the same time.
Mm-hmm.
- Oh, is that it?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- To put it into context, we were filming.
- I'm an actress, as you know...
- Yes, absolutely.
- I was replacing Marion Cotillard.
- Right.
And he wanted to do this thing, um,
and sort of basically said
- if I didn't do it, he would kill me.
- So you were coerced?
- Yes, he said he would literally have me killed.
- Right.
- So, very, very frightened...
- I didn't know that happened.
Yeah.
I just want a normal
life, you know? I want...
a family, and I just don't...
I think that means
I've got to... end it.
I'm sorry, but I want to have a baby.
- What about you, Emma?
- I would love to have a baby.
I just worry that having one
might spoil the, sort of,
magic of our relationship.
- I have got some issues...
- I know.
... with you, I think. I don't like...
Okay, we're not actually
doing this today.
But I mean, it is good to get
these things off your chest.
- Yeah, and, I mean, you're not perfect.
- No.
Um, there's a lot of things
I could say about you...
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- ... that I don't like.
- You know?
- Mm-hmm.
Or I actually hate.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- But, you know, it's about making a fist of things...
- Yes.
... and living with compromises,
and we can have a baby.
We can make a fist of it.
Unless you start making
decisions, Sally, Sally, Sally,
um, you're going to end
up a lonely old maid,
and I say that with the greatest
love and the greatest respect.
You know, bitter,
lonely, dried-up old maid.
On your own, there'll be no one there,
there'll be no child to love you,
there'll be nobody, really, to love you.
I mean, you have a cat allergy,
I know, so you can't even
turn to those feline
friends for comfort.
- Animals don't like her, generally, either.
- Right. Okay. Yes.
You know, sometimes in life,
we need to make decisions
in order that we truly live.
I mean, as T.S. Eliot put
it, "To live, or partly live."
I mean, you want to live.
Don't you?
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
Mm-hmm.
Do you want to say, "I want to live"?
- I want to live.
- Do you want to look at Emma and say that?
I want to live. Is that okay?
And, "I want to live and
I want to have a baby."
I want to live and I want to have
a baby, but I'm not sure if...
- But with you.
- Yes.
I'm not sure if... in brackets...
Do you want to just try how it feels
because sometimes we're just frightened,
and once we say these
things, the world opens up.
So just try as an
exercise, to say to Emma...
- I don't want that, I'm not sure.
- Just try it, please?
"I want to live, and
I want to have a baby,
with you." Shall we just try that?
- I'm just, I'm not completely sure.
- Just give it a try.
I want to live, and I want
to have a baby with you.
- Well done.
- I don't...
- That's great.
- That's lovely. That's lovely.
It's wonderful when you get
these amazing breakthroughs
with people, and it's very valuable.
I'm just so happy.
I'm just so glad that we've
actually made a decision, you know?
I mean, I can't believe
it, we're gonna have a baby!
Yeah.
I still feel a bit worried
about the whole Dan thing.
Look, you've got to realize he's
really mentally ill, you know?
He really is. And I think
he could sense, you know,
that I'd been victimized
during my childhood,
so I was easy prey for him.
- Please don't punish me for that, you know.
- I'm sorry.
I've got so much love
and I just want to pour it
all into a little baby.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm a bit worried about
the kick, though, as well.
God, you've got to stop holding
onto stuff. Seriously, Sal.
You know, this is why you're
constipated all the time.
- I'm not, really, very often.
- You are.
You know, you're meant to
go, like, I think it's four,
between four and six times a day.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah. Yeah, seriously. That's the healthy way.
Our little... Bring our little boy here.
He'll... he'll sort of toddling
about, climbing trees, and...
Boy. It'd be a boy?
Yeah. We'd have a gay boy.
It'd have to be gay?
Does it matter?
Yeah. I mean, meet me halfway. Come on.
How do you do that? What do you mean?
Well, I mean, I guess we...
we look into gay donors, and...
I was actually, I was thinking
of Matthew from the chemist.
- The old guy?
- Yeah.
He's HIV-positive, isn't he?
No, no. He thought he
was. He thought he was.
He's just been very,
very ill for about a year.
And his thumbs, they're really flared.
I think that's really cruel.
You wouldn't love a
baby with flared thumbs?
I didn't... I didn't
mean that. I just...
I just think, does it have to
be Matthew from the chemist?
Look, we've met 14 donors today.
I mean, what are you looking for?
I know. Sorry.
I love you in this dress.
- Thank you.
- Your tits look amazing.
Thanks.
It's tiring, seeing all those guys.
- Isn't it?
- Mm.
Is this the last one?
I hope so.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi. Wow, you look gorgeous.
- Thank you.
I thought we were gonna do some work.
- Yes.
- I called you, and you didn't answer, but...
- we arranged to.
- Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot. Um...
Shall I come in or go, or... ?
- Do you want to come in?
- I can go and we can do it another day.
No, no. Come in. Come in.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
- Come and say hi to Emma.
- Okay.
- This is Emma. This is Nigel.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, Nigel. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nigel's, um, he's actually from work.
- Oh, so...
- Would you like a drink?
- Oh, sure. Thanks.
- There you go.
- What is this?
- It's wine.
- Is that okay? Do you want a beer?
Mm-mm.
- No, I drink wine. Thank you.
- Cheers.
- This is nice.
- Good to see you.
Yeah, good to see you.
Work is crazy at the moment,
so that's why, you know, this...
Yeah. But you're up to this
tonight. You feel your energy.
Yeah, I mean, we probably need
to get down to business soon.
- I'm not sure how long I've got.
- Wow, somebody's keen.
That's great.
I mean, just to sort of,
tell you how the evening's gonna work,
basically, I always cook for the guests.
- Right.
- It makes it a bit less clinical. So, um...
risotto, a kind of tumbly salad
thing with, like, just rockin'
and little baby piccolo tomatoes.
- Great.
- And then garlic bread.
I normally do two pieces per person.
Well, I'm actually, I'm hungry, so...
Great. Thank you very much.
I didn't expect to be eating.
You'll get it when you deserve it.
I mean, we should, you know,
cut to the chase, and just...
- Yeah, um...
- Cut to the chase.
So, we, um...
We wanted to ask you something.
- Sounds ominous.
- I know. Um...
We've been looking around for a guy.
- Yeah, and it's just trying to find the right one, really.
- Yeah.
Um, somebody who might be
a good fit for us.
So you're looking for... a, um...
Yeah, it's finding
the right... right guy.
Things can get stale, can't they,
between people, to maybe a bit...
It's not that. It's
not that with us, is it?
- No?
- We're so happy together.
Well, maybe that's... what's great...
I think you can reach a point where
just two of you can feel a bit selfish?
Wow, this is... I mean, I'm...
Obviously, I'm flattered,
and, uh, I'd like to say, um,
you know, of course, yes.
Um, it's something
I've always, actually,
I don't know if I should say this,
but I've always dreamt about it.
- Really?
- I mean, what red-blooded man hasn't?
- Some guys are very scared of it.
- Yeah, not me.
It's always been on my
bucket list, if you like.
- Oh, me, too. That's so lovely.
- Really?
Yeah. It's something that really
has meant a lot to me all my life.
Yeah, it's been like a
dream, almost. Yeah. Yeah.
I think I just want that feeling
of a little one growing inside me.
- Yeah.
- Right.
Well, hopefully not too little, but...
So, uh... wow.
That's really brilliant news, Nigel.
- I mean, we know each other from work.
- And we get on really well.
We get on well. We're
good friends, so that's...
And we get on really
well. Don't we? I mean...
- Yeah.
- We love each other.
- I mean, we get on really well, don't we?
- We do, yeah. So...
- We get on super well.
- We all get on well, so that's, uh...
Yeah, I don't know you, but I get
on really, really well with Sally.
- Yeah, of course.
- I probably know her better than anybody.
- And we just get on really well, so.
- We do. We certainly do.
Mm. Love you.
- I think... yeah.
- Love you.
I love you, too.
Just to say, I kind of want
to wrap up our intent, so...
- Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
- Just get yourself ready
in whichever way you need to.
Okay. Wow, I mean, I've
never done this before,
so I'm slightly nervous,
but, uh... excited.
If you guys want to start off, or...
I can start.
I think you need to get yourself ready.
Starting on my own? I mean, I
don't know. Is that something...
- I think it's mostly gonna be on your own.
- Or I can watch for a bit.
Or you can watch.
- I don't want to watch you.
- I don't know... No?
- No, thanks.
- Okay.
The things is, we really
want to think about
having the baby this year. Don't we?
Yeah, 'cause, well, Sally has a lot of,
um, cysts, ovarian cysts that...
- Well, I don't have that many.
- Quite a few, so...
- Two. That's not that many.
- Yeah. Um...
I think I'm not sure you were talking...
It's quite a cluster when
they looked on the scan.
I thought we were talking about
something else but, um, I...
I think I thought you
were asking something else.
I'm sorry, what did you
think we were talking about?
Does it have to be tonight? I
mean, I'm up for helping out.
It does with the cysts, really,
'cause they used to burst
every month into Sally's
pants, so it's a kind of...
I'm up for it in
principle. Obviously, um...
uh...
Yeah?
Sounds good?
So it's Sally's womb, with
all her cysts and stuff
to sort of contend with. Hope
there's room for the baby.
- There should be.
- And you're doing it this way
because you don't want to go
through conventional channels...
We don't need to. We just want
to go into the gay community
and get a nice, big gay guy.
But I'm... You're okay with the
fact that I'm not actually gay?
- In any way?
- I had a fling with a guy once.
Moonlit romance, on a Greek holiday.
That sounds really
gay. That sounds fine.
I'm not sure how these things work.
Oh, it's just a cup and a baster.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Um...
- Do you need any magazines, or... ?
There's some pictures on the wall
up there, but they're all of men.
- Sure.
- It's mostly bending over or their legs apart,
- touching themselves.
- Sure.
'Cause we wallpapered the walls in...
men's anuses and stuff, and...
- Oh.
- Huge, erect cocks, but if that's not your...
- Is that gonna help?
- I can work with that.
- Do you want me to just, to show you where it is?
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Sally says you're in a band.
- She's amazing.
Wow. Um...
- I'm an actress, as well, and a model and a dancer.
- Wow.
- I work with animals, and...
- Impressive.
Anyway, really nice to meet
you. Thanks for your donation.
- You're welcome.
- I could get it boxed up for you to go if you want.
Um, no, I'm okay. I'm still
in the middle of it, so...
Anyway, I'm glad it worked out
all right with the thing, so...
- Uh, the thing?
- With the baster.
Mm. Oh, yeah, well, we
didn't actually use it.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
It's good.
- It works really well.
- With the baster?
- Mm-hmm.
- You said... you just said you didn't use the baster.
I mean, the cup. Was it? I don't know.
I can't remember. That's really weird.
The baster wasn't working, so...
It was compli... It
was really complicated.
And the instructions were in Arabic.
- I think we just thought...
- I have a baster.
Nature's baster, if you like.
- So we went that way.
- Mm.
Mmm. This is great risotto, by the way.
Hmm.
Oh. So you had sex.
Look, whatever happened,
and honest, I can't remember
what happened at all,
but whatever it was, like, there
was a reason for it and it wasn't
to deliberately have an
amazing time, and I, you know...
No, no. It's just a bonus.
It happened, it was great.
I loved it. I really, really loved it.
But it's over, so...
So, you're sitting here
eating post-sex risotto,
with your new boyfriend.
- Yum.
- Let's not be childish about it.
He's not my new boyfriend.
I think it's a bit rude,
actually, to get someone
over and have sex with them
and then just tell them to go.
It's just not what we
agreed, really, is it?
I'm sorry. At the beginning, it was...
just trying to get him ready.
How did you do that?
- Well, you don't really need the details, do you?
- I do.
Um... we kissed, um, for a bit.
How long?
Five, eight minutes,
something like that.
He... took my top down.
Where to?
Just underneath the breasts.
They were spilling over?
Yeah, they were spilling over the...
dress.
Did you suck her boobs?
I think I did. Yeah.
One.
- Yep.
- I suppose it was something.
Carry on.
- Um, did I go down on you?
- Yeah.
I did. Mm.
It's been a while since I
had a real penis in my mouth.
- That's nice. Yeah.
- It was.
- Nice to remember.
- It's nice.
- Is that weird to say that?
- No.
No, it's nice. Very nice.
I'm sorry.
The last thing I wanted
to do was hurt you.
Well, you have.
I'm sorry.
Really vicious thing to do.
Vicious, sort of, deceitful thing to do.
It's okay. I mean, it's
just who you are, Sally.
What do you mean?
I think that's the
thing with Sally, really.
You're just the type of person
that leaves a sort of trail
of destruction wherever you go.
I'm really sorry. I thought...
David's dad actually hung himself.
- Oh, dear.
- It's probably Sally's fault.
- I don't think it was.
- I think it was 'cause...
he was so upset about Sally.
- I don't think it was.
- I'm sure that's not... Sally's fault.
Well, that's what he said in his note.
- What note?
- He left a note.
I don't think it was my fault.
I mean, I'm sure that's
not what the reason was.
I mean, whatever he wrote in
his note was probably not...
He said the reason I'm
killing myself is due to Sally
and then there's a whole
paragraph about why.
Oh.
It's worth knowing what's
your fault in life, I think.
It's worth knowing.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Right, well...
- I'm sorry.
I'm off to bed.
Oh.
Oh, I should go, really.
That's, um... that's very late.
It's too late to go.
Uh, well, I know. I mean, I'm
driving as well, so that's...
- You definitely shouldn't drive.
- No, you're right. Um...
Maybe I should call a cab or something.
You can sleep here if you want.
- Yeah? Is that okay?
- Yeah.
- Just in this room, or...
- Just here. Yeah.
- Okay, great. Thank you.
- And then...
- I shouldn't wake up Emma.
- Right.
So, maybe... I don't know.
Maybe I should just stay here, as well.
Sure. Yeah.
Hello?
Speaking.
Oh, my God.
Emma, what happened?
Sorry. Oh, I'm so
sorry. Why did you do it?
Because you fucked someone else.
Sorry.
Doctor said I lost most
of the blood in my body.
Good morning. Well,
we've got her all sewn up
like a jacket potato and good to go.
- Morning, Dr. Tramsing.
- Morning.
A little bit weepy, aren't they?
- Yes, very painful.
- How are you feeling?
I'm just waiting for Belinda.
- Oh, is that mum?
- No, it's our therapist.
Oh, well, she hasn't been doing
a very good job, I'm afraid.
Will Emma be sanctioned?
Are you feeling like you're
going to be doing it again?
It really depends on Sally.
All right. So, Sally,
are you going to be
making her upset again?
No. I don't... I didn't mean to.
She had sex with someone
else upstairs in our house
whilst I was downstairs alone.
We were trying for a baby,
which we'd agreed to do.
We're a lesbian couple.
Well, yes. I'm sure all
this transgender confusion
has probably been making
you very depressed.
I'm not transgender.
- Right.
- I'm not either.
Guys. Oh, I've rushed back.
The plane has literally landed an
hour ago. It's a bit inconvenient,
obviously, morning, to, uh...
Hello, doctor. I mean, not ideal
to cut a holiday short,
but, um... oh, goodness.
- Client comes first.
- Sorry, Belinda.
- Client comes first.
- I'm really sorry.
Client comes first.
I'm wondering whether a hysterectomy
might not sort you out, or...
I could whip out the ovaries and
leave the old wombat where it is.
'Cause it does tend to help
stop the other organs from
falling out to be honest.
She doesn't, um, have a womb.
There might still be some tendrils left.
- Hooks, and...
- Bits and bobs.
You can take those out,
if you want. I don't care.
I'd whip 'em out, if I were
you. Why not? Can't do any harm.
So, how... How are you feeling?
I suppose the real thing for me is...
I just feel like...
I've just got nothing left to live for.
- Oh, dear.
- Do you think she should stay a bit longer?
Well, we don't really have the
bed space, to be honest, so...
I wouldn't feel safe in here. No.
I'd think they'd try and stuff drugs
and mobile phones up my anus
- and try to rape me in the shower.
- Yes.
But you can take compassionate
leave, can't you, Sally,
and care for Emma at home?
I'm literally about to lose my job.
I wouldn't be any trouble.
I'd just try and sip a little
soup through a straw, and maybe...
have a plum and some...
maybe some crisps at the
weekend, if you let me.
- Would you allow crisps?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- So let's talk about Emma.
I heard you say that you've
got nothing left to live for.
Let's flick that 'round,
let's turn it on its back and
put it back up on its feet,
and say, "All right. I have
got something to live for."
What would that be?
I don't know. I suppose...
feeling that Sally was even
sorry for what she's done.
- I'm sorry. So sorry.
- It sounds angry.
It sounds angry, doesn't
it? I mean, are you angry?
No, I'm just... I'm really sorry.
I suppose I really need you to
be here in, like, a real way.
Like, a big way, a long way.
- Okay.
- Like, an always way.
- Okay, Sally?
- Sally?
I mean, can you offer
that, do you think?
- Well, I mean, I...
- Sally?
- I mean, I...
- Sally.
- Sally.
- Can you do that?
Hmm? Sally?
I think what I'm trying to say is...
What?
Will you marry me?
Oh, God.
It's a yes or no answer.
It is a yes or no. It's
quite straightforward.
- Sally?
- I...
Could I have a bit longer
just to think about it?
Why?
- Why?
- Why do you need longer?
This is a really big...
It's a really big decision.
'Tis a no-brainer when you literally
hold someone else's life in your hands.
Okay.
Sally? Is that a yes?
Is it?
- Is it a yes?
- Is it?
Sally?
- Sally?
- Is it?
A-ho-ho, yes!
Oh, gosh.
- Sorry.
- No one's ever said yes before.
I have to go on this work trip.
Otherwise, I'm gonna lose my job.
You put me in the hospital.
Please don't do it again.
Have a good trip.
There's a bit of a
cock-up with the rooms.
And somebody's gonna have to share.
Do you wanna splash about first
while I watch a bit of telly?
Sally... she's a conundrum.
I don't know what she wants.
Do you think I'm doing the
right thing to marry her?
I'm not certain it's what she wants.
And why do you think that?
'Cause she says she doesn't.
But apart from that?
N... no reason.
Oh, fuck!
Well, it keeps happening.
The boozy breath,
missing vital meetings,
and I'm sure you've
heard about that e-mail.
Now Jed's wife knows
that I think she looks like a fat dwarf.
Sorry about that.
Eleanor is absolutely looking like
the best candidate for the promotion.
And without getting too personal,
there are grave concerns
that this new relationship you're in
is just not the healthiest for you.
Since you've met this woman,
you... you've changed.
Your work's suffering.
It's going down the
pan to be quite frank.
So, I'm putting you on a formal warning.
- What? A formal warning?
- A formal warning, yes.
God. I mean, is... Why, is... ?
Do you have a problem with
same-sex relationships?
No! God, absolutely not.
I'm not averse to them.
You know, in fact,
I'm very much pro them.
Perhaps you weren't aware
that I, myself, am a homosexual.
No, I wasn't. I wasn't
aware of that. Okay.
And I suppose,
I always thought, perhaps,
there was something between us.
Oh, okay. Um...
I don't know if you recall
that buttery spread launch in Cardiff.
I got the very distinct
feeling... you know when we were...
- Trapped in the hut?
- Trapped in the hut.
I don't know. I thought something
was going to happen between us.
So I was like, I don't know,
a bit stunned when you chose Emma.
Okay, I see. Um...
Well, I didn't exactly choose her,
really, it just kind of happened.
So, you're, like, saying, like,
in a parallel universe, that, you know?
Hmm...
Think so.
- Oh!
- I'm so sorry.
Sorry.
- It's quite hot.
- I'm so sorry.
- Sexual assault.
- Sorry.
- Trying to burn my penis off.
- I'm really sorry, Nigel.
Get some water on it.
I mean, you can hardly notice it. Um...
What-What are you trying to do there?
- You get a wind off that?
- Are you trying to froth my groin?
- I would never do that, Nigel, never.
- Right.
It's, um... it's not
working. Thanks, though. Yeah.
You're always showing off about
it, so I thought, worth a go.
Can I... can I tell you
something really weird?
- Swear you won't tell anyone?
- Yeah.
So basically, Deborah calls
me into her office just now.
- Sort of, give me a bit of a talking to.
- Right.
She kind of ends up saying
that we should be together.
- What?
- It's weird, isn't it?
Yeah. I mean, not the worst
idea in the world, but...
- weird.
- What?
- What do you mean?
- Well...
You and her. Right, yeah.
That's totally weird.
What did you think I meant?
- Yeah, that. It's weird.
- Yeah, it's so weird.
Wow.
I really hope she doesn't fire me.
Look, I could come 'round, and we
could go through the campaign...
- Really?
- ... if you like. After work?
Oh, that'd be brilliant.
- That would be so good.
- What about Thursday?
- Shit, it's David. Hey, David.
- I'll bring a laptop.
Yeah, I'm nearly there
now. I'm in the taxi.
Sorry, David. I really
don't have very long.
I'm in so much shit at work.
How are you, anyway? Everything okay?
Yeah, I'm good. I'm good, thanks. Yeah.
Okay. You look... You look well.
Sal, I've got some news.
I'm... yeah. I've met someone.
- Okay-okay.
- Yeah.
Jemima. Do you remember Jemina from Uni?
- Big Jemima?
- Yeah. Jemima Greg.
- We've reconnected.
- Didn't she have a rape thing?
Yeah, but she still denies
it, and she's a Christian now.
Anyway...
turns out, she's always
had a little flame for me.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we're together.
Yeah, we're an item.
- Right.
- She's just lovely, Sal.
She's lost a lot of weight.
She's shed a lot of the extra pounds,
so she looks lithe and sexy.
You know, she's helped
me move on, and...
Made your hair grow? -Well,
it's not entirely natural.
Why is it gray?
She likes the salt-and-pepper sex look.
It's more some salt, isn't it?
Well, it's, uh... Yeah, she likes it.
And it's given me a sort of sexy boost
in the bedroom, so,
the bump is back and the bump is big.
Okay, is this why you asked
to meet today, 'cause...
Yeah. Things have moved quite fast
because the real news is...
I'm gonna be a father.
- What?
- I'm a baby-maker, honey.
- Good. Congratulations.
- I've got it. I'm virile.
- That's good. Great.
- Yeah, she's just...
- Everything clicks.
- Oh, good. And she's pregnant.
Yes, I know, and rampant!
It's like... argh!
Yeah, very sexy.
I don't need to know
that, I don't think.
Well, she's a sexy
woman, I'm a sexy man,
and that's how sex... things happen.
- It's good sex.
- Great.
And it matters, so, yeah, so, um...
Anyway, we're probably
gonna have to sell the house
because she wants to move to Mauritius
because she's big on squid, and...
loves her seafood.
So, what, I have to move out?
Not immediately, but, you know...
She's out there waiting
in the car, so I better...
Yeah, she wasn't very pleased
I was meeting with you, so.
Yeah, I'll, uh... I'll be in touch.
Can you... Could you pick that up?
Yeah, okay. Bye.
I'm sorry, Em, I just...
I just don't think I
can keep doing this.
I don't think I can... keep...
... keep doing this.
We're not right for each
other, I don't think.
We're just not right. I'm sorry.
Okay, so... Um, Sally, did
you want to start today?
Um, yeah. I feel...
very, very unhappy with Emma.
Just today?
No. All the... All the time.
Okay. Emma?
I think, you know, it's because
she just keeps refusing food.
- Right.
- She's not sleeping.
I'm not sleeping because you're still...
staring at me all night,
and nudging me awake, and...
thrashing around and rolling
really close to me, and I...
I'm having my sleep
broken every single night.
Have you tried a warm,
milky drink before bed?
I haven't tried that, no.
No, exactly. That and a hot bath or...
sometimes I'll mash
up a big 'nana for her,
to try and fill up her tummy.
Sorry, I just... I think it
has something to do with David.
You know, he's met
someone, he's having a baby.
He's making me...
think maybe I did the
wrong thing. I don't know.
One of your many
problems, Sally, is that,
you know, you're not trusting
your instincts, are you?
You were unhappy with David,
you left him for this wonderful lady,
and now you're just not
trusting that instinct.
What's happening for you?
I feel like my instinct is saying,
"Get out," you know.
- So what does that mean?
- Probably not your instincts.
No, it's probably not. It's
probably another part of your brain
that's used to leaping to the negative.
Or it could be the constipation again.
It could be that. I mean, that
can make people moody, difficult.
- I'm not constipated.
- I'm surprised.
So much weird stuff's happened.
I found her with my best
friend's husband, and...
he was passing a stool and masturbating
over her face at the same time.
Mm-hmm.
- Oh, is that it?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- To put it into context, we were filming.
- I'm an actress, as you know...
- Yes, absolutely.
- I was replacing Marion Cotillard.
- Right.
And he wanted to do this thing, um,
and sort of basically said
- if I didn't do it, he would kill me.
- So you were coerced?
- Yes, he said he would literally have me killed.
- Right.
- So, very, very frightened...
- I didn't know that happened.
Yeah.
I just want a normal
life, you know? I want...
a family, and I just don't...
I think that means
I've got to... end it.
I'm sorry, but I want to have a baby.
- What about you, Emma?
- I would love to have a baby.
I just worry that having one
might spoil the, sort of,
magic of our relationship.
- I have got some issues...
- I know.
... with you, I think. I don't like...
Okay, we're not actually
doing this today.
But I mean, it is good to get
these things off your chest.
- Yeah, and, I mean, you're not perfect.
- No.
Um, there's a lot of things
I could say about you...
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- ... that I don't like.
- You know?
- Mm-hmm.
Or I actually hate.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- But, you know, it's about making a fist of things...
- Yes.
... and living with compromises,
and we can have a baby.
We can make a fist of it.
Unless you start making
decisions, Sally, Sally, Sally,
um, you're going to end
up a lonely old maid,
and I say that with the greatest
love and the greatest respect.
You know, bitter,
lonely, dried-up old maid.
On your own, there'll be no one there,
there'll be no child to love you,
there'll be nobody, really, to love you.
I mean, you have a cat allergy,
I know, so you can't even
turn to those feline
friends for comfort.
- Animals don't like her, generally, either.
- Right. Okay. Yes.
You know, sometimes in life,
we need to make decisions
in order that we truly live.
I mean, as T.S. Eliot put
it, "To live, or partly live."
I mean, you want to live.
Don't you?
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
Mm-hmm.
Do you want to say, "I want to live"?
- I want to live.
- Do you want to look at Emma and say that?
I want to live. Is that okay?
And, "I want to live and
I want to have a baby."
I want to live and I want to have
a baby, but I'm not sure if...
- But with you.
- Yes.
I'm not sure if... in brackets...
Do you want to just try how it feels
because sometimes we're just frightened,
and once we say these
things, the world opens up.
So just try as an
exercise, to say to Emma...
- I don't want that, I'm not sure.
- Just try it, please?
"I want to live, and
I want to have a baby,
with you." Shall we just try that?
- I'm just, I'm not completely sure.
- Just give it a try.
I want to live, and I want
to have a baby with you.
- Well done.
- I don't...
- That's great.
- That's lovely. That's lovely.
It's wonderful when you get
these amazing breakthroughs
with people, and it's very valuable.
I'm just so happy.
I'm just so glad that we've
actually made a decision, you know?
I mean, I can't believe
it, we're gonna have a baby!
Yeah.
I still feel a bit worried
about the whole Dan thing.
Look, you've got to realize he's
really mentally ill, you know?
He really is. And I think
he could sense, you know,
that I'd been victimized
during my childhood,
so I was easy prey for him.
- Please don't punish me for that, you know.
- I'm sorry.
I've got so much love
and I just want to pour it
all into a little baby.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm a bit worried about
the kick, though, as well.
God, you've got to stop holding
onto stuff. Seriously, Sal.
You know, this is why you're
constipated all the time.
- I'm not, really, very often.
- You are.
You know, you're meant to
go, like, I think it's four,
between four and six times a day.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah. Yeah, seriously. That's the healthy way.
Our little... Bring our little boy here.
He'll... he'll sort of toddling
about, climbing trees, and...
Boy. It'd be a boy?
Yeah. We'd have a gay boy.
It'd have to be gay?
Does it matter?
Yeah. I mean, meet me halfway. Come on.
How do you do that? What do you mean?
Well, I mean, I guess we...
we look into gay donors, and...
I was actually, I was thinking
of Matthew from the chemist.
- The old guy?
- Yeah.
He's HIV-positive, isn't he?
No, no. He thought he
was. He thought he was.
He's just been very,
very ill for about a year.
And his thumbs, they're really flared.
I think that's really cruel.
You wouldn't love a
baby with flared thumbs?
I didn't... I didn't
mean that. I just...
I just think, does it have to
be Matthew from the chemist?
Look, we've met 14 donors today.
I mean, what are you looking for?
I know. Sorry.
I love you in this dress.
- Thank you.
- Your tits look amazing.
Thanks.
It's tiring, seeing all those guys.
- Isn't it?
- Mm.
Is this the last one?
I hope so.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi. Wow, you look gorgeous.
- Thank you.
I thought we were gonna do some work.
- Yes.
- I called you, and you didn't answer, but...
- we arranged to.
- Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot. Um...
Shall I come in or go, or... ?
- Do you want to come in?
- I can go and we can do it another day.
No, no. Come in. Come in.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
- Come and say hi to Emma.
- Okay.
- This is Emma. This is Nigel.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi, Nigel. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nigel's, um, he's actually from work.
- Oh, so...
- Would you like a drink?
- Oh, sure. Thanks.
- There you go.
- What is this?
- It's wine.
- Is that okay? Do you want a beer?
Mm-mm.
- No, I drink wine. Thank you.
- Cheers.
- This is nice.
- Good to see you.
Yeah, good to see you.
Work is crazy at the moment,
so that's why, you know, this...
Yeah. But you're up to this
tonight. You feel your energy.
Yeah, I mean, we probably need
to get down to business soon.
- I'm not sure how long I've got.
- Wow, somebody's keen.
That's great.
I mean, just to sort of,
tell you how the evening's gonna work,
basically, I always cook for the guests.
- Right.
- It makes it a bit less clinical. So, um...
risotto, a kind of tumbly salad
thing with, like, just rockin'
and little baby piccolo tomatoes.
- Great.
- And then garlic bread.
I normally do two pieces per person.
Well, I'm actually, I'm hungry, so...
Great. Thank you very much.
I didn't expect to be eating.
You'll get it when you deserve it.
I mean, we should, you know,
cut to the chase, and just...
- Yeah, um...
- Cut to the chase.
So, we, um...
We wanted to ask you something.
- Sounds ominous.
- I know. Um...
We've been looking around for a guy.
- Yeah, and it's just trying to find the right one, really.
- Yeah.
Um, somebody who might be
a good fit for us.
So you're looking for... a, um...
Yeah, it's finding
the right... right guy.
Things can get stale, can't they,
between people, to maybe a bit...
It's not that. It's
not that with us, is it?
- No?
- We're so happy together.
Well, maybe that's... what's great...
I think you can reach a point where
just two of you can feel a bit selfish?
Wow, this is... I mean, I'm...
Obviously, I'm flattered,
and, uh, I'd like to say, um,
you know, of course, yes.
Um, it's something
I've always, actually,
I don't know if I should say this,
but I've always dreamt about it.
- Really?
- I mean, what red-blooded man hasn't?
- Some guys are very scared of it.
- Yeah, not me.
It's always been on my
bucket list, if you like.
- Oh, me, too. That's so lovely.
- Really?
Yeah. It's something that really
has meant a lot to me all my life.
Yeah, it's been like a
dream, almost. Yeah. Yeah.
I think I just want that feeling
of a little one growing inside me.
- Yeah.
- Right.
Well, hopefully not too little, but...
So, uh... wow.
That's really brilliant news, Nigel.
- I mean, we know each other from work.
- And we get on really well.
We get on well. We're
good friends, so that's...
And we get on really
well. Don't we? I mean...
- Yeah.
- We love each other.
- I mean, we get on really well, don't we?
- We do, yeah. So...
- We get on super well.
- We all get on well, so that's, uh...
Yeah, I don't know you, but I get
on really, really well with Sally.
- Yeah, of course.
- I probably know her better than anybody.
- And we just get on really well, so.
- We do. We certainly do.
Mm. Love you.
- I think... yeah.
- Love you.
I love you, too.
Just to say, I kind of want
to wrap up our intent, so...
- Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
- Just get yourself ready
in whichever way you need to.
Okay. Wow, I mean, I've
never done this before,
so I'm slightly nervous,
but, uh... excited.
If you guys want to start off, or...
I can start.
I think you need to get yourself ready.
Starting on my own? I mean, I
don't know. Is that something...
- I think it's mostly gonna be on your own.
- Or I can watch for a bit.
Or you can watch.
- I don't want to watch you.
- I don't know... No?
- No, thanks.
- Okay.
The things is, we really
want to think about
having the baby this year. Don't we?
Yeah, 'cause, well, Sally has a lot of,
um, cysts, ovarian cysts that...
- Well, I don't have that many.
- Quite a few, so...
- Two. That's not that many.
- Yeah. Um...
I think I'm not sure you were talking...
It's quite a cluster when
they looked on the scan.
I thought we were talking about
something else but, um, I...
I think I thought you
were asking something else.
I'm sorry, what did you
think we were talking about?
Does it have to be tonight? I
mean, I'm up for helping out.
It does with the cysts, really,
'cause they used to burst
every month into Sally's
pants, so it's a kind of...
I'm up for it in
principle. Obviously, um...
uh...
Yeah?
Sounds good?
So it's Sally's womb, with
all her cysts and stuff
to sort of contend with. Hope
there's room for the baby.
- There should be.
- And you're doing it this way
because you don't want to go
through conventional channels...
We don't need to. We just want
to go into the gay community
and get a nice, big gay guy.
But I'm... You're okay with the
fact that I'm not actually gay?
- In any way?
- I had a fling with a guy once.
Moonlit romance, on a Greek holiday.
That sounds really
gay. That sounds fine.
I'm not sure how these things work.
Oh, it's just a cup and a baster.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
- Okay. Um...
- Do you need any magazines, or... ?
There's some pictures on the wall
up there, but they're all of men.
- Sure.
- It's mostly bending over or their legs apart,
- touching themselves.
- Sure.
'Cause we wallpapered the walls in...
men's anuses and stuff, and...
- Oh.
- Huge, erect cocks, but if that's not your...
- Is that gonna help?
- I can work with that.
- Do you want me to just, to show you where it is?
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Sally says you're in a band.
- She's amazing.
Wow. Um...
- I'm an actress, as well, and a model and a dancer.
- Wow.
- I work with animals, and...
- Impressive.
Anyway, really nice to meet
you. Thanks for your donation.
- You're welcome.
- I could get it boxed up for you to go if you want.
Um, no, I'm okay. I'm still
in the middle of it, so...
Anyway, I'm glad it worked out
all right with the thing, so...
- Uh, the thing?
- With the baster.
Mm. Oh, yeah, well, we
didn't actually use it.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
It's good.
- It works really well.
- With the baster?
- Mm-hmm.
- You said... you just said you didn't use the baster.
I mean, the cup. Was it? I don't know.
I can't remember. That's really weird.
The baster wasn't working, so...
It was compli... It
was really complicated.
And the instructions were in Arabic.
- I think we just thought...
- I have a baster.
Nature's baster, if you like.
- So we went that way.
- Mm.
Mmm. This is great risotto, by the way.
Hmm.
Oh. So you had sex.
Look, whatever happened,
and honest, I can't remember
what happened at all,
but whatever it was, like, there
was a reason for it and it wasn't
to deliberately have an
amazing time, and I, you know...
No, no. It's just a bonus.
It happened, it was great.
I loved it. I really, really loved it.
But it's over, so...
So, you're sitting here
eating post-sex risotto,
with your new boyfriend.
- Yum.
- Let's not be childish about it.
He's not my new boyfriend.
I think it's a bit rude,
actually, to get someone
over and have sex with them
and then just tell them to go.
It's just not what we
agreed, really, is it?
I'm sorry. At the beginning, it was...
just trying to get him ready.
How did you do that?
- Well, you don't really need the details, do you?
- I do.
Um... we kissed, um, for a bit.
How long?
Five, eight minutes,
something like that.
He... took my top down.
Where to?
Just underneath the breasts.
They were spilling over?
Yeah, they were spilling over the...
dress.
Did you suck her boobs?
I think I did. Yeah.
One.
- Yep.
- I suppose it was something.
Carry on.
- Um, did I go down on you?
- Yeah.
I did. Mm.
It's been a while since I
had a real penis in my mouth.
- That's nice. Yeah.
- It was.
- Nice to remember.
- It's nice.
- Is that weird to say that?
- No.
No, it's nice. Very nice.
I'm sorry.
The last thing I wanted
to do was hurt you.
Well, you have.
I'm sorry.
Really vicious thing to do.
Vicious, sort of, deceitful thing to do.
It's okay. I mean, it's
just who you are, Sally.
What do you mean?
I think that's the
thing with Sally, really.
You're just the type of person
that leaves a sort of trail
of destruction wherever you go.
I'm really sorry. I thought...
David's dad actually hung himself.
- Oh, dear.
- It's probably Sally's fault.
- I don't think it was.
- I think it was 'cause...
he was so upset about Sally.
- I don't think it was.
- I'm sure that's not... Sally's fault.
Well, that's what he said in his note.
- What note?
- He left a note.
I don't think it was my fault.
I mean, I'm sure that's
not what the reason was.
I mean, whatever he wrote in
his note was probably not...
He said the reason I'm
killing myself is due to Sally
and then there's a whole
paragraph about why.
Oh.
It's worth knowing what's
your fault in life, I think.
It's worth knowing.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
- Right, well...
- I'm sorry.
I'm off to bed.
Oh.
Oh, I should go, really.
That's, um... that's very late.
It's too late to go.
Uh, well, I know. I mean, I'm
driving as well, so that's...
- You definitely shouldn't drive.
- No, you're right. Um...
Maybe I should call a cab or something.
You can sleep here if you want.
- Yeah? Is that okay?
- Yeah.
- Just in this room, or...
- Just here. Yeah.
- Okay, great. Thank you.
- And then...
- I shouldn't wake up Emma.
- Right.
So, maybe... I don't know.
Maybe I should just stay here, as well.
Sure. Yeah.
Hello?
Speaking.
Oh, my God.
Emma, what happened?
Sorry. Oh, I'm so
sorry. Why did you do it?
Because you fucked someone else.
Sorry.
Doctor said I lost most
of the blood in my body.
Good morning. Well,
we've got her all sewn up
like a jacket potato and good to go.
- Morning, Dr. Tramsing.
- Morning.
A little bit weepy, aren't they?
- Yes, very painful.
- How are you feeling?
I'm just waiting for Belinda.
- Oh, is that mum?
- No, it's our therapist.
Oh, well, she hasn't been doing
a very good job, I'm afraid.
Will Emma be sanctioned?
Are you feeling like you're
going to be doing it again?
It really depends on Sally.
All right. So, Sally,
are you going to be
making her upset again?
No. I don't... I didn't mean to.
She had sex with someone
else upstairs in our house
whilst I was downstairs alone.
We were trying for a baby,
which we'd agreed to do.
We're a lesbian couple.
Well, yes. I'm sure all
this transgender confusion
has probably been making
you very depressed.
I'm not transgender.
- Right.
- I'm not either.
Guys. Oh, I've rushed back.
The plane has literally landed an
hour ago. It's a bit inconvenient,
obviously, morning, to, uh...
Hello, doctor. I mean, not ideal
to cut a holiday short,
but, um... oh, goodness.
- Client comes first.
- Sorry, Belinda.
- Client comes first.
- I'm really sorry.
Client comes first.
I'm wondering whether a hysterectomy
might not sort you out, or...
I could whip out the ovaries and
leave the old wombat where it is.
'Cause it does tend to help
stop the other organs from
falling out to be honest.
She doesn't, um, have a womb.
There might still be some tendrils left.
- Hooks, and...
- Bits and bobs.
You can take those out,
if you want. I don't care.
I'd whip 'em out, if I were
you. Why not? Can't do any harm.
So, how... How are you feeling?
I suppose the real thing for me is...
I just feel like...
I've just got nothing left to live for.
- Oh, dear.
- Do you think she should stay a bit longer?
Well, we don't really have the
bed space, to be honest, so...
I wouldn't feel safe in here. No.
I'd think they'd try and stuff drugs
and mobile phones up my anus
- and try to rape me in the shower.
- Yes.
But you can take compassionate
leave, can't you, Sally,
and care for Emma at home?
I'm literally about to lose my job.
I wouldn't be any trouble.
I'd just try and sip a little
soup through a straw, and maybe...
have a plum and some...
maybe some crisps at the
weekend, if you let me.
- Would you allow crisps?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- So let's talk about Emma.
I heard you say that you've
got nothing left to live for.
Let's flick that 'round,
let's turn it on its back and
put it back up on its feet,
and say, "All right. I have
got something to live for."
What would that be?
I don't know. I suppose...
feeling that Sally was even
sorry for what she's done.
- I'm sorry. So sorry.
- It sounds angry.
It sounds angry, doesn't
it? I mean, are you angry?
No, I'm just... I'm really sorry.
I suppose I really need you to
be here in, like, a real way.
Like, a big way, a long way.
- Okay.
- Like, an always way.
- Okay, Sally?
- Sally?
I mean, can you offer
that, do you think?
- Well, I mean, I...
- Sally?
- I mean, I...
- Sally.
- Sally.
- Can you do that?
Hmm? Sally?
I think what I'm trying to say is...
What?
Will you marry me?
Oh, God.
It's a yes or no answer.
It is a yes or no. It's
quite straightforward.
- Sally?
- I...
Could I have a bit longer
just to think about it?
Why?
- Why?
- Why do you need longer?
This is a really big...
It's a really big decision.
'Tis a no-brainer when you literally
hold someone else's life in your hands.
Okay.
Sally? Is that a yes?
Is it?
- Is it a yes?
- Is it?
Sally?
- Sally?
- Is it?
A-ho-ho, yes!
Oh, gosh.
- Sorry.
- No one's ever said yes before.
I have to go on this work trip.
Otherwise, I'm gonna lose my job.
You put me in the hospital.
Please don't do it again.
Have a good trip.
There's a bit of a
cock-up with the rooms.
And somebody's gonna have to share.
Do you wanna splash about first
while I watch a bit of telly?
Sally... she's a conundrum.
I don't know what she wants.
Do you think I'm doing the
right thing to marry her?
I'm not certain it's what she wants.
And why do you think that?
'Cause she says she doesn't.
But apart from that?
N... no reason.