Sabrina's Secret Life (2003–2004): Season 1, Episode 20 - What's in a Name? - full transcript

♪Who's making
magic, making magic,
making magic♪

♪Who's making
magic, making magic,
making magic♪

♪What's going on here,
something's not right♪

♪Who's making magic now every
night♪

♪Witch Training lessons
till the mornin' light♪

♪Living Sabrina's Secret Life.

♪Who's making magic

♪Who's making magic

♪Who's making magic

♪Sabrina's Secret Life!

♪Witch training lessons now
every night♪



♪Sabrina's Secret Life!

That's too much
Eye of Newt Smellman!

Mind your Toe of Frog;

I've got my potion under
control, Classlessandra!

Hmmmm!

Hey! I need that!

Stop copying my potion!

Not so fast, half-witch.

I hate it when
she calls me that.

Well you'll just
have to finish last!

Says who?!

Hey!

Mr. Snipe, walking
cactus-girl over here,

isn't playing fair!



You know Sabrina, witchcraft
isn't a game - to us full

witches.

You both seem to feel strongly
that you know the right way to

create this potion.

You know, if you would learn
to talk rather than argue,

girls...

Hahh...

Blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah,

blah blah blah.

Did I make myself clear?

Crystal.

Uh huh.

Okay then.

Now, get back to work.

Euw, your nails look
like goblin tongues.

At least my nails are real...

Yeah, real ugly...

Time for the Salvia...

...Muscaria.

Hey!

Hey!

I saw it first!

Give me that!

Unggh!

No way!

Auugh!

Girls...

I think you might want to...

Aaahhh!

See, I told you that you
used too much Eye of Newt!

Then here, have some.

Aaaahhh!

I wish your listening skills
were as sharp as your tongues.

Oh, no...

the Salvia Muscaria herb...

it's gone...

all of it...

It's the rarest herb known to
witchkind...and there's no way

you can complete your
assignment without it.

But then we can't go
on to the next level.

You should have
been more careful!

All your arguing without
listening caused this.

There's only one
thing that you can do...

Go to the Netherworld and
try to find some more...

Cool...

This is the
Salvia Muscaria herb.

It used to flourish all
over the Netherworld,

but through
over-picking and carelessness,

it has become
nearly extinct...

So you'll have to work
together to find some.

With your help, right?

Wrong.

I'll meet you back
here in two hours.

And remember, stay
out of the Grey Area.

Nothing there is
what it seems.

Winner takes
all, Mephis-toad...

Yeah, well I got
friends here, alleycat...

lot of friends...

So do I, fluffy butt...

Come on, Mephista.

What we don't have is that
herb and Mr. Snipe only gave

us two hours to find it.

We stand just as good a
chance of finding it.

I don't think so!

Clippity-clop, clippity
clop, make Sabrina

rooted to the spot.

Ciao!

Hahaha

Show Cassandra,
brain so small,

what it's like to
be a living doll.

Netherworld Nancy...

Brain Not Included.

Very funny, half-witch, but
your half-powers are no match

for me here.

Ooooh!

She makes me sooo mad!

Why didn't I bring a
spell book with me?

Don't go anywhere!

What am I saying?

I'll get some help!

So, why did the
turkey cross the road?

I don't know.

He didn't wanna be...

chicken!

Hahaha!

Listen Ickie, my man,
um, I need a little favor.

Lucy!

I'm hooome!

It's about time, Salem!

Hey you're lucky
I even came back.

That Ickie the Troll
sets up a very nice nosh!

Oh Salem, I hope Cassandra
hasn't found the herb yet.

Don't sweat it.

I called in a favor from
an old friend of yours.

You gonna eat that?

There it is!

Come on, hurry!

I'm coming, I'm coming!

Hahh!

Aaahhhhh!

Whooooaaa!

Brrrrruuurp!

I bet you Sabrina had
something to do with this.

Hahh...

I need to think of a spell
to get us out of here...

Well make it quick.

I'm not gettin' a warm,
cozy feeling about this.

You mean the mother Dragon
swallowed then loogied them

out?

Ugh!

That's so gross!

I know, don't
you just love it?

I can't wait to get even
with that little half-witch!

Dragon spit totally
gives you split ends!

Bring it on, Cassandra.

ARAAHHHHHHGH!

Ugnn!

Eye of Newt...!

Skin of Toad...!

Aaahhhh!

Hahahaha!

Auuughwaa!

Hahaha!

Auuwaaa ouuuuch!

Unff.

Oh, no...

I can't believe we did this!

Hey, we were
throwing so many spells,

it just got outta control.

I'm so sorry Salem!

He's so creepy looking!

Ugh!

How could anyone like
one of these things?

What are we going
to tell Mr. Snipe,

Miss Know-It-All?

Nothing, half-brain.

There's gotta be another
plant around here somewhere.

We'll find it.

Then we'll cure these two.

What?

Sp-Speak a little louder.

I'm a little deaf in
this ear, over here,

right here, with
the horn thing...

SALVIA MUSCARIA!

Huh...

If memory serves...

Memory?

What memory?

I saw that bird...

Herb, not bird!

Herb!

Who is Herb?

Okay...

We'll never find the Salvia
Muscaria in this freak-show!

Whoooaaa!

Gotcha!

Thanks!

I remember you.

You saved me from
that clone of yours!

I remember.

Follow this path to
the Forgotten Bridge.

But beware, the
Gray Area is near.

And you'll find what you seek!

Okay...

thanks, bye!

Any idea where we are?

Uh, sure...

somewhere in the
Netherworld, Smellman.

Look Cassandra, we don't
have a lot of time left.

Let's call a truce, okay?

Oh, okay.

But don't tell anybody I made
a deal with you or I'll turn

you into a toad.

Whatever.

I just wish Salem was here.

He could figure
out where we are.

Achooo!

Salem, are you back?

Auugh.

Buck-tooth!

Fishbreath!

Stop it you two.

We called a truce,
and you can too.

You called a truce?

Gimme a break?

You expect me to buy that?

Stuff it, beaver teeth.

Hey!

I'll turn you both back into
stuffed animals if you keep it

up.

That herb is somewhere nearby,
and we need to find it.

The Forgotten
Bridge, and fast!

Okay.

This is the northeast
quadrant of the Netherworld.

I think you're
nuts for being here.

The Gray Area's
not too far away.

There's a fork in the road
up ahead near Troll Town.

We go left and it should lead
us to the Forgotten Bridge.

Uh...

Any ideas on how
to get across?

That's a long way down!

Ahhhhh...

This is not good.

Eh, for once I
agree with the rat.

Hissss!

I mean cat.

There's no way
we're gettin' across.

Let's go home!

Hey, look!

It's the Salvia Muscaria herb!

The way I see it, we
send the cat over.

If he doesn't make it...

we think of a new plan.

Hold on a second here, I'm
older and I'm a warlock,

at least I used to be.

That means I outrank you.

Excuse me, who has the magic?

Gee, ya try to take over
the world once and ya end up

paying for it the
rest of your life.

Hey!

Why don't we
combine our magic?

I bet it'll be strong
enough to repair the bridge.

You mean my
magic, half-witch...

yours isn't strong enough
to clear up your pimples!

I thought we had a
truce, Cassandra.

Look, we need to get that
herb or we don't pass this

assignment.

Hahh...

I'll try it myself.

River wide, bridge rickety,
wood and stone come together

lickety-splickety.

Let me show you how it's done.

Oh pitiful
bridge, once so proud,

come together,
without a... dowd.

Without a dowd?

Doubt didn't rhyme
with proud, and anyway,

it's working, so
what does it matter?

For my superior magic it was
nothing to pull together a

bunch of rotted wood
and useless stones.

Grrrrowow...

That didn't sound good.

You were saying?

Run!

Grrooowwwwww...

Hahh!

Aaaahhhwahhhhh!

Whooooaaa!

What happened?

Your spell must've
piggybacked onto my spell.

And I guess it doesn't like
the nasty names you called it!

Yeah? Well let's see
it deal with this!

Not!!!

Let's just get outta here!

Run!

There's no place to go!

Yes there is, the Gray Area.

We're not allowed
to go in there.

Do you wanna stay out here?

Gray Area it is!

Aaaahhhhh!

I hope this works!

Gruuuunnnnnnn...

He stopped!

How did you know he couldn't
come into the Grey Area?

Salem once told me that
the Grey Area operates on

different magic.

I figured the magic that
created the monster wouldn't

exist here.

Does that mean that we
don't have magic either?

I don't know.

Okay, we got in here,
now how do we get out?

You mean you've never
been in the Gray Area?

Well technically speaking...

no.

Well, someone needs to
lead us out of here.

Okay, I guess it's up to me.

Uugnn.

Wow!

You're not gonna believe this!

What?!

Now this is more like it!

Very nice!

Awesome!

Cool!

We found it.

I'll be rich!

Oh, I'll never
have to work again...

not that I do now,
or ever planned to...

If this herb is
supposed to be so rare,

how come there's
so much of it?

Sabrina, don't be
a party pooper.

Guys, no one's around anymore.

Uh, where did everyone go?

I'll quit school...

and then I'll buy it
and name it after me.

Hahaha.

Oh, yes, fragrant herb...

together we will
achieve greatness...

and the world will be ours!

Oh...

maybe not.

Fi-fy-fo-fumaria, who's that
stealing my salvia muscaria?

We're sorry
Mister one-big-eye.

Er, Mr. Cyclops.

Who dares
trespass in my kingdom?

We didn't.

I'll use my magic and
take care of ugly here.

But we don't even
know what he wants yet.

Hello!

He's like, a huge,
revolting Cyclops!

He wants to grind our
bones for his bread.

I think that's
what an Ogre does...

but he looks
just as evil to me.

Grrrr...

He's not much in the
looks department, huh?

I'm rubber, and you're glue...

whatever you say bounces
off me and sticks to you...

What happened?

What?

Let's just say you can
kiss being the prom queen,

goodbye.

What are you babbling about?

Aaaaaahhhhh!!!!

I'll show you...

Fiddle-dee-dee,
fiddle-dee-dum...

Zip!

Hey!

Ahhh!

Hey!

You're wrong about
the bones, kitty cat,

I do use them
for my bread too.

And now pièce de resistance,
a dash of Salvia Muscaria...

Do something, Sabrina!

Hahh...

Hmm.

Needs Tongue of Shrew...

And I know just
where I can get some.

Stop, Mr. Cyclops!

Please!

What?

You're not going to
use your magic on me,

little witch?

We didn't come
here to hurt you,

sir, really...

Well, you certainly
hurt my feelings.

Didn't anyone ever tell you
to stay out of the Gray Area?

Actually, yes.

Didn't anyone ever tell
you not to cook people?

Ha.

Give me one reason
why I shouldn't?

Um...

because it's not nice?

But I'm not nice.

I'm a Cyclops.

I'm supposed to scare people!

Gaaahh!

Huh?

You're not scared of me?

Please, tell me why
you're so angry at us,

Mr. Cyclops.

Who wouldn't be?

You called me ugly, repulsive,
revolting and deformed...

oh yeah, and train-eye!

That was a new one to me.

On behalf of my
terribly rude friends,

I apologize.

I know how you feel, sir.

Everyone in our group has been
calling each other names all

day long.

I'm so tired of it!

I know what it's
like to be different.

I'm only a half-witch.

I get called a lot of
nasty names because of that.

I'm sorry.

See, you don't want to eat us.

Yes I do.

I'll make you a
deal, Mr. Cyclops.

Set us free and we'll make you
a meal you'll never forget!

And no more name-calling!

Hmmm.

I don't know...

most of the people who come
to this part of the Gray Area

call me some
pretty hurtful names.

And the only way to solve
that is to hurt them first?

That's wrong!

If you talk it out, you
might find that you're not as

different as you think.

Wow, that's heavy.

Huh.

Maybe I misjudged you.

No longer zipped
up shall she be,

now it's time to
make her free.

Hahh!

Sabrina! What are you doing?

That gross one-eyed
thing is going to eat us!

I don't think I
misjudged her, though.

Hahaha.

You've got that right.

Now, after that
meal I promised,

do you think we could borrow
some of your Salvia Muscaria?

Great work, girls.

And not only were we able
to get the herb from our new

friend, Mr. Cyclops--
who loved his dinner,

I might add-- Now we can plant
these seeds back in Greendale

so we'll never run out again.

How on earth did
you manage that?

We just had to learn
to negotiate instead of

name-calling, that's all.

So how did you know that
creature didn't really want to

eat us?

He had a picture of
his family on the wall,

and he was trying
too hard to be scary.

And I remembered what Mr.
Snipe said about talking

things out.

Well, I guess I
owe you a thanks.

You did save me, after all.

But don't tell
anyone or I'll...

Turn me into a toad.

I know.

Hahaha.