Sabrina's Secret Life (2003–2004): Season 1, Episode 12 - Half There - full transcript
Sabrina's cauldron blows up and splatters Cassandra with purplescent slime... and when she tries to clean it off, every place it touches her, it turns her invisible (for a short time). Sabrina's comment that she always knew Cassandra was only "half-there" doesn't help things, either. But when Cassandra makes the best of it -- using the invisibility slime again and again to cheat in school, spy on Sabrina, get cozy with Harvey, etc. - Sabrina decides to fight fire with fire and slimes herself invisible. But when the spell slime starts to not wear off as planned, Sabrina and Cassandra must call a truce and work together to find a cure before they're never able to come back!
♪Who's making
magic, making magic,
making magic♪
♪Who's making
magic, making magic,
making magic♪
♪What's going on here,
something's not right♪
♪Who's making magic now every
night♪
♪Witch Training lessons
till the mornin' light♪
♪Living Sabrina's Secret Life.
♪Who's making magic
♪Who's making magic
♪Who's making magic
♪Sabrina's Secret Life!
♪Witch training lessons now
every night♪
♪Sabrina's Secret Life!
Hi Sabrina, Cassandra, Maritza.
Gee, Harvey, what's wrong?
I needed some extra
credit in English class,
and Ms. Magrooney said I
should try out for the school
play.
uh?
didn't know I was the only
boy trying out for the lead.
I got the part - Hamlet.
ut that's great, Harvey!
Gosh, you got the lead!
o you know how many
lines there are to memorize!
And I gotta wear tights!
bet you'll
look cute in tights.
Yeah - REAL cute.
I need the credit,
but to be Hamlet,
or not to be.
That is the question.
If you want, I'll help
you memorize your lines.
and I'll try out for
the part of Ophelia.
well, maybe I'll
try out for Ophelia,
too.
you guys are so cool.
Catch you later.
you'll really put
the ham in Hamlet.
scene stealer.
one of them's
gonna get the part,
then the other one
will have to get even,
which of course will leave the
other having to get even...
always remember to be extra
careful when casting spells
from a large cauldron.
These are bigger and more
unpredictable than your
smaller potion spells.
Oh that little half-witch
thinks she'd make a better
Ophelia than me.
we'll see.
aahh!
Oh, yuck!
I always knew you
were only half there,
Cassandra.
Hmmm.
I'll show you
who's half there,
you half witch!
that's enough, girls!
Now what happened?
Cassandra put
something in my cauldron.
Who? Me?
I'm really hurt that you'd
accuse me of something like
that, Sabrina.
Now, Cassandra, I'd hate
to have to have a teacher's
conference with your
Aunt Enchantra....
Yes, Mr. Snipe.
I...
put something in
Sabrina's cauldron.
You'll have to
stay after class,
Cassandra, and clean
up the mess you caused.
Gee, I hope this doesn't mean
you'll miss the auditions for
the play.
Oh, I'd like to wipe that
smirk off Sabrina's face --
- but I guess I'd
better get to work.
Ugh, yuck!
Whoa, this stuff still works!
What a great way to get even
with Sabrina -- and she won't
even see it coming!
Next is Cassandra --
for the part of Ophelia.
Cassandra!
Cassandra had to
stay after class,
Ms. Magrooney.
We'll just have to go
ahead with your audition,
Sabrina.
You're the last
name on my list.
He took me by the
wrist and held me hard;
then goes he to the length
of all his arm -
and with his other hand
thus o'er his brow,
he falls to such perusal of
my face as he would draw it.
Long stay'd he so; at last, a
little shaking of mine arm --
Huh?
And thrice...
his head...
thus waving...
up and down...
he raised a
sigh so piteous
aaahh!
(sigh)
Ugh!
Whoa!
Whoooa!
That'll teach Sabrina
to try to upstage me.
Uh, would you like me to start
over again from the top?
That's all right, Sabrina,
I-I think I've seen quite
enough.
The pot is bubbling nicely.
I know I'll regret asking
-- but how was your day?
I tried out for a
part in the school play,
but everything went wrong.
I don't think
I'll be Harvey's,
er, uh, I mean
Hamlet's Ophelia.
Oh, Shakespeare!
Remember when we played
the witches in Macbeth?
that wasn't the play, Hilda.
We really were the witches.
Oh, that's right.
Well, at least Cassandra
won't be Ophelia either.
And even if I
don't get the part,
I can still help
Harvey with his lines.
Hi, Harvey.
Oh, hey, 'Brina.
I was just wondering --
you wanna get together this
afternoon and practice
your lines for the play?
Okay, I sure can use it.
Sabrina.
I'll meet you in the
auditorium right after school.
Oh, Harvey, I'm sorry!
I don't know
what's gotten into me!
I'm so clumsy!
Oh, gee, Harvey!
Let me help you up!
No no no!
You've helped enough today!
What's happened to my life?
It's the pits.
Cassandra?
Cassandra.
That slime Cassandra is
using my own slime against me!
Pay back time!
We'll see how
Cassandra likes it...
when the slime's
on the other foot!
Maritza's point!
Point -- Maritza!
I got it!
Point for Maritza's team!
Serving game point.
Hey!
Game to Maritza's team!
I knew it!
It's gone!
That slime
Sabrina's got my slime!
This should be a novel
experience for Cassandra!
Hmm.
Now remember Cassandra, all
these books on the cart need
to be shelved -- according to
the Dewey decimal system.
Yes, Miss Crabtree.
And do be quiet about it.
This is a library!
Yes, Miss Crabtree.
Hey!
My cart!
Huh?
Whoooooaaaa!
Whoooaa!
Aaahh!
All right, Sabrina!
I know it's you!
This is war!
Just what do you
think you're doing,
Cassandra?!
Sorry, Miss Crabtree...
We'll see if you can be quiet
for an hour in detention after
school -- every day for
the rest of this week!
What a blast -- especially
when it's so much fun getting
Cassandra into trouble.
We'll work on
Hamlet's soliloquy.
What's that?
It's like a long speech
where you talk to yourself.
Seems like
that's all this guy,
Hamlet does.
Come on, Harvey. Give it
a shot, you'll be great.
Uh, uh...
Uh, a little help with
the line, please?
To be or not to be --
Something wrong, Sabrina?
Uh, no, nothing's wrong.
What could possibly be wrong?
I don't know -- but
what're you doing down there?
I, uh...
I just wanted things to
be more -- realistic.
Yeah, that's it!
Realistic!
If this was opening night,
I'd be right here in the
prompter's pit!
Great idea.
You're really thoughtful.
Believe me --
I'm glad to do it.
So what was the line again?
To be or not to be
To be or not to be --
Oh no!
Oh no?
Huh?
Sabrina?
I can't believe
this is happening!
It's gotta be the slime!
And if it's happening to
me, it must be happening to
Cassandra, too!
Where'd you go?
Oh, over here.
Sabrina.
Whatcha doing?
You helping me or not?
I know I
promised, Harvey, but...
well, I just remembered
something I gotta do.
Can't it wait?
don't think it will.
Bye.
Sabrina!
Oh, no...
A hundred strokes
to make it shine...
Psssst!
Cassandra!
You've got a lot of nerve
showing your face around here!
My face is about
all I can show.
I knew you stole it!
I want my jar of slime back!
Your slime?!
It was made in my cauldron!
Only because I added
the final ingredient!
Look -- I only came here
because there's a problem with
the slime.
The invisibility can't
be controlled anymore.
See what I mean?
Well, that's your problem!
Wow, now that's
losing your head!
Salem, we need your help!
Stay away!
I don't wanna
catch what you have!
Salem, we need your
help, please come down.
Salem please,
we're not contagious.
Okay, which one of you
geniuses wants to explain?
Cassandra put something in
my cauldron at school.
Powder of Follicle Flakes?
Magical dandruff.
Gross!
Being grossed out is the
least of your problems.
Unless you find an antidote,
you won't just become
invisible, you'll fade
away into nothingness.
You'll have to go
to the Netherworld,
to the Middle of Nowhere -
that's the only place you'll
find the antidote.
Let's do it.
We made it!
Yeah -- but made it to where?
I don't think our magical
powers were strong enough to
take us to the
Middle of Nowhere.
This must be the
Edge of Nowhere.
Those stepping stones
should lead where we wanna go.
Whooooooaaaa!
Come on, here!
Take my hand!
I can't!
Take my other hand!
I think this is it --
the Middle of Nowhere.
AAAAHHHH!
-who-who are you?
Isn't it obvious?
I'm the Big Nobody.
Please -- we need your help.
We accidentally made a
disappearing potion in
cauldron class and then when
we used it to get even with
each other, it
got out of control.
I'm just a nobody.
Why should I help you.
Besides, you've been using
major spells for revenge.
Not okay.
Serve you right if you became
nobodies stuck in the middle
of nowhere just like me!
That's how you
became a nobody,
isn't it?
You're just trying to get even
with us for what happened to
you. Getting even isn't
the right thing to do.
why not?
That's what you did.
You're right --
what I did was wrong.
Yeah -- we were both wrong.
Maybe we could
help each other.
Well, no one's ever
offered to help me before.
Take the bottle and pour
what's in it on my head!
What is it?
Here Restorer.
Jugulus levitatus!
It's not working!
My magic's too weak!
We're fading away!
We've gotta work
together before it's too late!
owers together stronger
than one -- by our magic,
let this be done --
jugulus levitatus!
I'm somebody again!
Oh.
Yuck!
Hey!
Hey! We're back!
From head to toe!
And my hair's silky
smooth and soft to the touch.
Maritza:
I got the part!
I'm gonna be Ophelia!
I didn't even try
out for that part.
Isn't it great?
Gee, I'm sorry, Sabrina.
I know how much you
wanted that part.
That's great, Maritza.
You'll make a great Ophelia.
We'll be happy just
to be in the audience.
All of us.
Huh?
magic, making magic,
making magic♪
♪Who's making
magic, making magic,
making magic♪
♪What's going on here,
something's not right♪
♪Who's making magic now every
night♪
♪Witch Training lessons
till the mornin' light♪
♪Living Sabrina's Secret Life.
♪Who's making magic
♪Who's making magic
♪Who's making magic
♪Sabrina's Secret Life!
♪Witch training lessons now
every night♪
♪Sabrina's Secret Life!
Hi Sabrina, Cassandra, Maritza.
Gee, Harvey, what's wrong?
I needed some extra
credit in English class,
and Ms. Magrooney said I
should try out for the school
play.
uh?
didn't know I was the only
boy trying out for the lead.
I got the part - Hamlet.
ut that's great, Harvey!
Gosh, you got the lead!
o you know how many
lines there are to memorize!
And I gotta wear tights!
bet you'll
look cute in tights.
Yeah - REAL cute.
I need the credit,
but to be Hamlet,
or not to be.
That is the question.
If you want, I'll help
you memorize your lines.
and I'll try out for
the part of Ophelia.
well, maybe I'll
try out for Ophelia,
too.
you guys are so cool.
Catch you later.
you'll really put
the ham in Hamlet.
scene stealer.
one of them's
gonna get the part,
then the other one
will have to get even,
which of course will leave the
other having to get even...
always remember to be extra
careful when casting spells
from a large cauldron.
These are bigger and more
unpredictable than your
smaller potion spells.
Oh that little half-witch
thinks she'd make a better
Ophelia than me.
we'll see.
aahh!
Oh, yuck!
I always knew you
were only half there,
Cassandra.
Hmmm.
I'll show you
who's half there,
you half witch!
that's enough, girls!
Now what happened?
Cassandra put
something in my cauldron.
Who? Me?
I'm really hurt that you'd
accuse me of something like
that, Sabrina.
Now, Cassandra, I'd hate
to have to have a teacher's
conference with your
Aunt Enchantra....
Yes, Mr. Snipe.
I...
put something in
Sabrina's cauldron.
You'll have to
stay after class,
Cassandra, and clean
up the mess you caused.
Gee, I hope this doesn't mean
you'll miss the auditions for
the play.
Oh, I'd like to wipe that
smirk off Sabrina's face --
- but I guess I'd
better get to work.
Ugh, yuck!
Whoa, this stuff still works!
What a great way to get even
with Sabrina -- and she won't
even see it coming!
Next is Cassandra --
for the part of Ophelia.
Cassandra!
Cassandra had to
stay after class,
Ms. Magrooney.
We'll just have to go
ahead with your audition,
Sabrina.
You're the last
name on my list.
He took me by the
wrist and held me hard;
then goes he to the length
of all his arm -
and with his other hand
thus o'er his brow,
he falls to such perusal of
my face as he would draw it.
Long stay'd he so; at last, a
little shaking of mine arm --
Huh?
And thrice...
his head...
thus waving...
up and down...
he raised a
sigh so piteous
aaahh!
(sigh)
Ugh!
Whoa!
Whoooa!
That'll teach Sabrina
to try to upstage me.
Uh, would you like me to start
over again from the top?
That's all right, Sabrina,
I-I think I've seen quite
enough.
The pot is bubbling nicely.
I know I'll regret asking
-- but how was your day?
I tried out for a
part in the school play,
but everything went wrong.
I don't think
I'll be Harvey's,
er, uh, I mean
Hamlet's Ophelia.
Oh, Shakespeare!
Remember when we played
the witches in Macbeth?
that wasn't the play, Hilda.
We really were the witches.
Oh, that's right.
Well, at least Cassandra
won't be Ophelia either.
And even if I
don't get the part,
I can still help
Harvey with his lines.
Hi, Harvey.
Oh, hey, 'Brina.
I was just wondering --
you wanna get together this
afternoon and practice
your lines for the play?
Okay, I sure can use it.
Sabrina.
I'll meet you in the
auditorium right after school.
Oh, Harvey, I'm sorry!
I don't know
what's gotten into me!
I'm so clumsy!
Oh, gee, Harvey!
Let me help you up!
No no no!
You've helped enough today!
What's happened to my life?
It's the pits.
Cassandra?
Cassandra.
That slime Cassandra is
using my own slime against me!
Pay back time!
We'll see how
Cassandra likes it...
when the slime's
on the other foot!
Maritza's point!
Point -- Maritza!
I got it!
Point for Maritza's team!
Serving game point.
Hey!
Game to Maritza's team!
I knew it!
It's gone!
That slime
Sabrina's got my slime!
This should be a novel
experience for Cassandra!
Hmm.
Now remember Cassandra, all
these books on the cart need
to be shelved -- according to
the Dewey decimal system.
Yes, Miss Crabtree.
And do be quiet about it.
This is a library!
Yes, Miss Crabtree.
Hey!
My cart!
Huh?
Whoooooaaaa!
Whoooaa!
Aaahh!
All right, Sabrina!
I know it's you!
This is war!
Just what do you
think you're doing,
Cassandra?!
Sorry, Miss Crabtree...
We'll see if you can be quiet
for an hour in detention after
school -- every day for
the rest of this week!
What a blast -- especially
when it's so much fun getting
Cassandra into trouble.
We'll work on
Hamlet's soliloquy.
What's that?
It's like a long speech
where you talk to yourself.
Seems like
that's all this guy,
Hamlet does.
Come on, Harvey. Give it
a shot, you'll be great.
Uh, uh...
Uh, a little help with
the line, please?
To be or not to be --
Something wrong, Sabrina?
Uh, no, nothing's wrong.
What could possibly be wrong?
I don't know -- but
what're you doing down there?
I, uh...
I just wanted things to
be more -- realistic.
Yeah, that's it!
Realistic!
If this was opening night,
I'd be right here in the
prompter's pit!
Great idea.
You're really thoughtful.
Believe me --
I'm glad to do it.
So what was the line again?
To be or not to be
To be or not to be --
Oh no!
Oh no?
Huh?
Sabrina?
I can't believe
this is happening!
It's gotta be the slime!
And if it's happening to
me, it must be happening to
Cassandra, too!
Where'd you go?
Oh, over here.
Sabrina.
Whatcha doing?
You helping me or not?
I know I
promised, Harvey, but...
well, I just remembered
something I gotta do.
Can't it wait?
don't think it will.
Bye.
Sabrina!
Oh, no...
A hundred strokes
to make it shine...
Psssst!
Cassandra!
You've got a lot of nerve
showing your face around here!
My face is about
all I can show.
I knew you stole it!
I want my jar of slime back!
Your slime?!
It was made in my cauldron!
Only because I added
the final ingredient!
Look -- I only came here
because there's a problem with
the slime.
The invisibility can't
be controlled anymore.
See what I mean?
Well, that's your problem!
Wow, now that's
losing your head!
Salem, we need your help!
Stay away!
I don't wanna
catch what you have!
Salem, we need your
help, please come down.
Salem please,
we're not contagious.
Okay, which one of you
geniuses wants to explain?
Cassandra put something in
my cauldron at school.
Powder of Follicle Flakes?
Magical dandruff.
Gross!
Being grossed out is the
least of your problems.
Unless you find an antidote,
you won't just become
invisible, you'll fade
away into nothingness.
You'll have to go
to the Netherworld,
to the Middle of Nowhere -
that's the only place you'll
find the antidote.
Let's do it.
We made it!
Yeah -- but made it to where?
I don't think our magical
powers were strong enough to
take us to the
Middle of Nowhere.
This must be the
Edge of Nowhere.
Those stepping stones
should lead where we wanna go.
Whooooooaaaa!
Come on, here!
Take my hand!
I can't!
Take my other hand!
I think this is it --
the Middle of Nowhere.
AAAAHHHH!
-who-who are you?
Isn't it obvious?
I'm the Big Nobody.
Please -- we need your help.
We accidentally made a
disappearing potion in
cauldron class and then when
we used it to get even with
each other, it
got out of control.
I'm just a nobody.
Why should I help you.
Besides, you've been using
major spells for revenge.
Not okay.
Serve you right if you became
nobodies stuck in the middle
of nowhere just like me!
That's how you
became a nobody,
isn't it?
You're just trying to get even
with us for what happened to
you. Getting even isn't
the right thing to do.
why not?
That's what you did.
You're right --
what I did was wrong.
Yeah -- we were both wrong.
Maybe we could
help each other.
Well, no one's ever
offered to help me before.
Take the bottle and pour
what's in it on my head!
What is it?
Here Restorer.
Jugulus levitatus!
It's not working!
My magic's too weak!
We're fading away!
We've gotta work
together before it's too late!
owers together stronger
than one -- by our magic,
let this be done --
jugulus levitatus!
I'm somebody again!
Oh.
Yuck!
Hey!
Hey! We're back!
From head to toe!
And my hair's silky
smooth and soft to the touch.
Maritza:
I got the part!
I'm gonna be Ophelia!
I didn't even try
out for that part.
Isn't it great?
Gee, I'm sorry, Sabrina.
I know how much you
wanted that part.
That's great, Maritza.
You'll make a great Ophelia.
We'll be happy just
to be in the audience.
All of us.
Huh?