Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 65 - The Bat Pack - full transcript
Hilda's is not pleased when her old vampire buddies, The Bat Pack, swoop into town for a visit. But Sabrina is dazzled by their charming ways. She and Salem are smooth-talked into following them to the Netherworld. Once there, they learn that Fang, Emo, and Clammy need their help pulling off an Ocean's Eleven-type Blood Bank heist. Hilda and Zelda show up just in time to take the blame. And when the Aunts are about to receive their punishment, the Bat Pack step in to fess' up.
[PURRING]
♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪
♪ STAND UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪
♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND
ACROBAT ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪
♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪
♪ COME HAVE A RIDE ♪
♪ GET HAPPY ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
HA HA!
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ DUM DE DUM DUM DUM ♪
♪I AM ALONE..♪
♪ NOBODY UNDERSTANDS
ME AND I'M ALONE..♪
♪ I'M ALIENATED AND.. ALONE.. ♪
♪ MY HANDS ARE ALONE..♪
♪ MY FEET ARE ALONE..♪
♪ OH YEAH..♪
Koo-koo, kittens --
this scene is a real gone gas.
Hmmmm, who started
the party without us?
Crazy, baby.
Who are those guys?
I dunno, but
check out the hats.
They are fly.
Hey kid, we're looking for
a little chanteusey, name's
Hilda Spellman.
Look, I'm not talking to
you geezers until you order
something.
Oooh!
I never drink..
coffee.
Aaaah!
Vampire!
MOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMIE !!!!
"Vampire?"
You don't really think that..?
Ooh, professor.
Hang back, Hemo.
I'll handle this.
♪ MY MANDIBLES
WOULD BE ALONE.. ♪
♪EXCEPT FOR THE OCCASIONAL
BUG I WOULD DEVOUR..♪
Take a powder, kid.
Lemme show ya how
to work a room.
(swing music)
♪ SHE DON'T LIKE GARLIC
OR STAKES MADE OF WOOD;♪
♪ THAT BURNING SUN MAKES
HER SKIN NOT-SO-GOOD;♪
♪ HATES HOLY WATER --
IT'S COLD AND SO DAMP;♪
♪ I THINK THAT
MAYBE SHE'S A VAMP!♪
♪ SHE'S MY INFLECTION;
SHE'S PURE PERFECTION;♪
♪SHE'S GOT NOT NO REFLECTION;
SHE'S NODDIN' OFF IN HER♪
♪ SILK-LINED COFFIN; SHE'S
MY KOO KOO BING-BANG ♪
♪CRAZY NUTTY VAMP!♪
Ring-a-ding-ding!
Wow, what're they
gonna do for an encore?
OOH!
Oh, yeah!
Aaaaaaah!
Vampires!
I do believe we've
closed the place.
Crazy, baby.
Woohoo!
Lemme guess -- you guys
are from the Netherworld.
And you didn't run away
like the rest of those
milquetoasts.
I'm Fang, and this
here's Hemo and Clammy.
We're looking for
Hilda Spellman.
Ooh, Aunt Hilda.
Bee-have.
I thought I saw a
certain family resemblance.
Good looks obviously
run in the family.
We're friends of
your Aunt's from way,
way back.
The swingin' sixties?
The swingin' fourteen-sixties
to be exact, baby.
Let's go see her -- I bet
she'll be totally stoked to
see you guys!
UGH! OW! YIKES!! AHH!!
OWW! Ooh! Aaah! Hey!
Watch the suit!
Sabrina:
Should we do something?
She's gonna kill him.
He's a vampire.
He's already dead.
Why is Hilda so
torqued at Fang anyway?
They used to date.
You say that like it's
supposed to make sense.
He left her
standing at the altar.
Ran off with a hat-check
girl from the Copa-cadaver.
What, like a
million years ago?
That's a long time
to hold a grudge.
Now can we talk?
Not yet.
You haven't
changed a bit, baby.
So there we were.
Dead of winter.
And Van Helsing waiting
for us up the north pass.
Cliffs to the west,
sun rising in the east!
You changed into bats, right?
You changed into
bats and flew away!
That's what I'd have done.
Weren't you listening?!
They were in the
middle of a hailstorm!
You can't fly in a hailstorm!
Do pay attention.
So what did you do?
♪ Laaaaaa! ♪
Clammy here hits his patented
high C and triggers an
avalanche!
By the time Van
Helsing dug himself out,
we were halfway to the
Transylvanian border with the
chorus girls.
Hey there, good-looking.
Hilda cool off yet?
She won't come down.
She says you better leave.
She just ordered six
pizzas with extra garlic.
Eeeyyuuuch...
Aw, come on.
We can't kick them out.
It's okay, kid.
The Bat Pack will respect
the wishes of the lady of the
house. Right, yous mugs?
Swingin'.
Crazy, baby.
Let's take it on
the heel, gang.
There's a
Netherworld portal upstairs.
Maybe the charming young
lady here can show us the way.
Just follow me.
See ya tomorrow, Clo.
Hasta manana.
What're we gonna do?
There's no way Hilda's
gonna help us pull this job.
If we don't get
somebody to help us,
the plan's a bust, baby.
Don't get all jingle-brained.
Who needs Hilda when we've
got her trusting young niece?
You're the most, daddy-o.
And don't forget it.
The portal to the
Netherworld is in your shower?
I know.
I was pushing
for the tool shed,
but I got outvoted.
Crazy, baby.
I'll be sorry to
see you guys go.
Say, why don't
you come with us?
Yeah, it'll be a gasser.
A real gone trip.
Glamour n' glitz, dancing,
all-you-can-eat-buffets.
You and us paintin'
the town -- blood red!
Wow, that sounds wicked cool.
But I can't.
Aunt Hilda would fricassee me!
Who says Aunt
Hilda's gonna find out?
You.. you promise you'd
have me home by sunup?
Scout's honor.
And you can believe me when I
say we are not morning people.
Okay, I'm in.
Salem:
A-hem.
Salem!
Sabrina, I'm ashamed of you.
You're not gonna
tell, are you?
Not as long as you
bring along a level-headed,
responsible,
no-nonsense chaperone aka moi.
Deal.
Waaaaa-hooooo!
Party-time!
You guys coming or what?
♪ OH NETHERWORLD! ♪
♪ NETHERWORLD! ♪
♪ NETHERWORLD! ♪
♪ IT'S A MAGICAL -- --TOWN! ♪
♪ THE NETHERWORLD
IS A MAGICAL TOWN! ♪
♪ TOWN! ♪
♪ WITH GHOSTS! ♪
♪ AND GHOULS! ♪
♪ AND THE OCCASIONAL CLOWN! ♪
♪ AND ZOMBIES LIVE SIX
FEET UNDER THE GROUND! ♪
♪ NETHERWORLD -- IT'S
A HIP-HAP HAPPENIN', ♪
♪ KOO-KOO CRACKLIIN',
BING-BANG BEAUTIFUL TOWN! ♪
Koo koo cats and kittens.
Ah, monsieurs!
Welcome to ze Copa-cadaver.
Wow.
This could very well be the
coolest night of my life.
We're countin' on it, kitten.
We're countin' on it.
..and the most annoying thing
about that rotten vampire is I
used to think he was so cool.
You were two
hundred years old.
You were a kid.
Flashy, glamorous guys
seem cool when you're young.
Look at how he had Sabrina
eating out of his hand.
Sabrina!
Still warm.
Sabrina must have
gone with the Bat-Pack!
Let's dimensionalize.
So what was it like filming
"The Transylvanian Candidate?"
All my closest
friends had cameos.
And of course, my co-star
was a young Shirley MacVein.
Wow. Music, movies, nightclubs.
Is there anything
you guys can't do?
They can't stay in this club.
Ahh!
Big scary zombie!
Well, well, well.
If it isn't my
old pal Dead Tony.
Salem:
Dead Tony?
We used to run
around together.
Now he owns all the
clubs, all the casinos,
Aberzombie & Witch,
even... the Blood Bank.
He's boosted all the prices,
so a workin' stiff vampire
can't afford a decent meal.
You got some nerve showing
your face at the Copa-cadaver.
If I had a face like yours,
I'd have nerve showin' it
anywhere.
Always with the jokes.
Dead Tony owns this joint now.
Time to amscray.
Boys!
Uhhhhhhhhhh..
Uhhhhhhhhhh..
Uhhhhhhhh..
Shake a leg!
Hahahaha!
Oh.
Um, maybe we should
just show ourselves out.
C'mon gang, let's blow.
That big fat zombie jerk!
Ruining
everybody's fun like that!
Time to go in for the kill.
Say, Sabrina...
How'd you like to help us get
a little payback on Dead Tony?
Would I!
What do you have in mind?
He stole some of our blood.
No way!
He's keeping it hidden in
that blood bank of his.
We need your help
to get it back..
..so the vault where he
keeps the blood bags is fulla
hanging garlic bulbs.
Eeyyuuucch.
Sabrina, your job is to take
down the garlic so it can't
hurt us.
Wait a minute. This really
sounds like a burglary.
Y'know, I was
gonna mention that,
but then I remembered I was
completely lacking in scruples
and it was okay again.
This ain't burglary.
It's our own stuff
we're stealing back.
Mmm, think of it
as a big game.
Game?
Yeah, y'know, the kind of thing
the Bat Pack's famous for.
Harmless stuff.
Koo-koo nutty hijinks, baby.
Well, I guess koo-koo
nutty hi-jinks sounds pretty
harmless.
Thatta girl.
You're on, cool cat.
One diversion,
coming right up.
Help.
I'm an innocent
cat, stuck in a tree.
Who will save me?
Uhhhhhhhh..
Uhhhhhhh..
Okay, behind this door is
the entrance to the vault.
Now, there should be a clove
or two of hanging garlic just
as you go in.
Oh no. The hermetically
sealed garlic bags.
Salem's got them!
We can't risk going back past
that zombie guard, baby.
So how do we get
rid of the garlic?
Oh no.
"A clove or two."
Sha-right!
Blechh!
And the night
started out so well..
O-kay, guys.
All clear. Unggghhh.
Heeheehee!
Come to poppa.
What happened to you?
I ate all the--
Ugh, yikes!
Oh huh huh.
Whhhaaaaat!?
When I get my
hands on Sabrina...
Forget about Sabrina.
When I get my hands on Fang..
Shh! Listen.
Yeah, Kinsky?
Dead Tony here.
I got a problem
at the Blood Bank.
The bat-pack.
Yeah, an' they got a
little witch girl wit' em.
We have to get
her out of there.
Over there.
Why do I get stuck
with the wet mop?
'Cuz Fang is
your ex-boyfriend.
Hoo! Ah! Hey!
Waaaaah!
Yeesh!
Sorry!
Uhhhhg...
You okay?
It's the garlic.
Right now, Godzilla and
Megalon are duking it out in
my stomach.
Gyeh, heh, heh.
Here we are -- the Blood Bank.
Hope we're not too late!
We're too late.
What now?
Ah! Get off!
Shoo shoo!
Oh, hey guys. We were just--
--robbing the Blood Bank.
Such very naughty girls..
I know this looks really bad,
but you've gotta believe us.
We didn't steal any blood.
That remains to be seen.
Take them away.
I can't believe you guys are
going back out this late at
night.
Gotta celebrate the victory.
I'd trade my adjustable coffin
to see Dead Tony's face when
he realizes he's been jacked.
In breaking news, a rare
vampire tribunal is under way
this evening for two
witches accused of robbing the
downtown Blood Bank.
Oh no!
Somehow they got
Aunt Hilda and Zelda!
If convicted, the two face
banishment to eternal torment
in the Great Swamp
of Perpetual Stench.
That doesn't
sound like much fun.
Yeesh, poor Hilda.
C'mon, people, let's get this
over with before daylight, huh?
Wait a minute, don't
we even get a lawyer?
Whoops.
Nearly forgot.
Where's the lawyer?
Oh, we're right
here, your honor.
I'm Lefty.
And that there's Jake.
Huh? Why wouldn't it
be Lefty and Righty?
Our mother took care
of the naming business,
thankyouverymuch.
Okay, but..
why is Lefty on the right?
Eh, we get a lot of that.
We're doomed.
Guys, you have to
go save my Aunts.
Us?
No, you got us wrong, kitten.
We're more like uh,
swingin' party vampires.
As in, "Crazy, baby!"
I feel bad about Hilda, but
those vampires ares ruthless
-- they'd make
mincemeat out of us.
If you won't go, I will.
And so will Salem.
Um, actually you
know, I'm a little busy...
calculating the most efficient
route to get us to that
Vampire Tribunal.
Your funeral.
I can't believe I thought
you guys were cool.
Urrp! 'Scuse me.
Don't yous mugs give
me the hairy eyeball.
You just as scared as I am.
Your honor, I move to dismiss
on the grounds that my clients
committed no crime.
Denied.
Welp, that's it.
I'm out of ideas.
The defense rests.
Huh?
I hereby sentence Hilda and
Zelda Spellman to be banished
for all time to the Great
Swamp of Perpetual Stench!
Bring out the
punishment portal!
What kind of
kangaroo court is this?!
For your information, our
courts are probably the most
efficiently-run in
the Netherworld.
Man, that kinda attitude
really gripes my cookies.
Bailiffs! Commence punishment!
Huh, aaah!
Sabrina: Wait!
Sabrina!
This is all my fault.
I knew it was wrong, but I
snuck out to the Netherworld
with dreams of glamour and glitz
and believed Fang's lies.
Now my two aunts are getting
blamed for my bad judgment.
Your honor, the verdict
has been passed down.
Let's not waste any
more of the court's time.
Lefty, you are
one lousy lawyer.
I'm Jake. And Lefty's the one
who almost didn't pass the bar.
Well, that's cuz'
I copied off you!
(arguing)
I don't have time for
this.
Throw 'em all in!
The cat, too!
"The cat too?"
I haven't said a thing!
Not one thing!
You did the right
thing, Sabrina.
Well, not before of
course, but we'll talk
about that later..
Assuming there is a later.
Koo-koo, cats n' kittens!
Huh?
Sabrina's telling the truth.
We're the ones you want.
Great, so you're all guilty.
You guys for
pulling the heist,
Sabrina for helping
you, and the witches,
I dunno, for raising her.
And what exactly
did the cat do?
Tell me that, please?
Suck it up, Salem --
we're all in this together.
You see, folks, to us, robbing
the Blood Bank was settling an
old score between the vampire
community and Dead Tony.
We can't let
zombies control the town!
How many of us has he
put out of business?
Banned performers like the
Bat Pack from his clubs?
Dead Tony: Probably a lot.
But I also secretly made some
of them my business partners.
Right, Kinsky?
Right as rain.
Take out this trash.
I don't think so.
7:13 a.m.
Sun's already up outside.
Clammy, let's have
that patented high "C!"
♪ Laaaaaa! ♪
Ahhhhhhhh!!
Not so fast!
Nuts. Did not see that coming.
Great, banished to the Great
Swamp of Perpetual Stench with
a tummyache.
Uh-oh.
BURRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP!!!!!
Ah! Garlic! It burns! It burns!
Sabrina!
Your skanky garlic
breath is saving the day!
Again! Again! Do it again!
And aim towards Kinsky!
BURRRRRRRRRPPPPP!!!!
Witchling!
You're ruining everything!
Ahhhh!!!!
Crazy, baby!
BURRP!
UURRRP!
BRAAAP!
Let's get out of here!
Urrp!
We can't!
The sun's out!
Save yourselves, kiddos.
Oh, Jim-i-nee!
I can't leave Fang
behind after all this!
C'mon boys, hop in!
Hildie, you're the grooviest!
Crazy, baby!
Wow!
♪ COME FLY ACROSS THE MOON WITH
ME FOR HOT NOCTURNAL FUN ♪
♪ WE'LL DANCE A SPOOKY
TARENTELLA ♪
♪ TILL THE
NIGHT IS DONE ♪
♪ THEN CUDDLE IN OUR COZY
COFFIN HIDING FROM THE SUN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU HIT ME
WHERE I LIVE! ♪
♪ BOO-DABBA-DEEBA-D DABB BA ♪
♪ HILDA -- PLEASE FORGIVE
AND I'LL BE YOURS FOREVER ♪
♪ THAT'S NO LIE ♪
♪ SKOO-BOPPITY-BIPP PITY-B
BOPPITY-B OW-WOW-WOW! ♪
♪ CUZ' BABY -- AN
IMMORTAL NEVER DIES! ♪
Koo hang baby.
Put a twist in that one.
How's your steak baby?
Koo-koo, baby.
That's the end!
(laughter)
(laughter)
(laughter)
Freaks!
Girl: Savage, we love you.
♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪
♪ STAND UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪
♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND
ACROBAT ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪
♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪
♪ COME HAVE A RIDE ♪
♪ GET HAPPY ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
HA HA!
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ DUM DE DUM DUM DUM ♪
♪I AM ALONE..♪
♪ NOBODY UNDERSTANDS
ME AND I'M ALONE..♪
♪ I'M ALIENATED AND.. ALONE.. ♪
♪ MY HANDS ARE ALONE..♪
♪ MY FEET ARE ALONE..♪
♪ OH YEAH..♪
Koo-koo, kittens --
this scene is a real gone gas.
Hmmmm, who started
the party without us?
Crazy, baby.
Who are those guys?
I dunno, but
check out the hats.
They are fly.
Hey kid, we're looking for
a little chanteusey, name's
Hilda Spellman.
Look, I'm not talking to
you geezers until you order
something.
Oooh!
I never drink..
coffee.
Aaaah!
Vampire!
MOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMIE !!!!
"Vampire?"
You don't really think that..?
Ooh, professor.
Hang back, Hemo.
I'll handle this.
♪ MY MANDIBLES
WOULD BE ALONE.. ♪
♪EXCEPT FOR THE OCCASIONAL
BUG I WOULD DEVOUR..♪
Take a powder, kid.
Lemme show ya how
to work a room.
(swing music)
♪ SHE DON'T LIKE GARLIC
OR STAKES MADE OF WOOD;♪
♪ THAT BURNING SUN MAKES
HER SKIN NOT-SO-GOOD;♪
♪ HATES HOLY WATER --
IT'S COLD AND SO DAMP;♪
♪ I THINK THAT
MAYBE SHE'S A VAMP!♪
♪ SHE'S MY INFLECTION;
SHE'S PURE PERFECTION;♪
♪SHE'S GOT NOT NO REFLECTION;
SHE'S NODDIN' OFF IN HER♪
♪ SILK-LINED COFFIN; SHE'S
MY KOO KOO BING-BANG ♪
♪CRAZY NUTTY VAMP!♪
Ring-a-ding-ding!
Wow, what're they
gonna do for an encore?
OOH!
Oh, yeah!
Aaaaaaah!
Vampires!
I do believe we've
closed the place.
Crazy, baby.
Woohoo!
Lemme guess -- you guys
are from the Netherworld.
And you didn't run away
like the rest of those
milquetoasts.
I'm Fang, and this
here's Hemo and Clammy.
We're looking for
Hilda Spellman.
Ooh, Aunt Hilda.
Bee-have.
I thought I saw a
certain family resemblance.
Good looks obviously
run in the family.
We're friends of
your Aunt's from way,
way back.
The swingin' sixties?
The swingin' fourteen-sixties
to be exact, baby.
Let's go see her -- I bet
she'll be totally stoked to
see you guys!
UGH! OW! YIKES!! AHH!!
OWW! Ooh! Aaah! Hey!
Watch the suit!
Sabrina:
Should we do something?
She's gonna kill him.
He's a vampire.
He's already dead.
Why is Hilda so
torqued at Fang anyway?
They used to date.
You say that like it's
supposed to make sense.
He left her
standing at the altar.
Ran off with a hat-check
girl from the Copa-cadaver.
What, like a
million years ago?
That's a long time
to hold a grudge.
Now can we talk?
Not yet.
You haven't
changed a bit, baby.
So there we were.
Dead of winter.
And Van Helsing waiting
for us up the north pass.
Cliffs to the west,
sun rising in the east!
You changed into bats, right?
You changed into
bats and flew away!
That's what I'd have done.
Weren't you listening?!
They were in the
middle of a hailstorm!
You can't fly in a hailstorm!
Do pay attention.
So what did you do?
♪ Laaaaaa! ♪
Clammy here hits his patented
high C and triggers an
avalanche!
By the time Van
Helsing dug himself out,
we were halfway to the
Transylvanian border with the
chorus girls.
Hey there, good-looking.
Hilda cool off yet?
She won't come down.
She says you better leave.
She just ordered six
pizzas with extra garlic.
Eeeyyuuuch...
Aw, come on.
We can't kick them out.
It's okay, kid.
The Bat Pack will respect
the wishes of the lady of the
house. Right, yous mugs?
Swingin'.
Crazy, baby.
Let's take it on
the heel, gang.
There's a
Netherworld portal upstairs.
Maybe the charming young
lady here can show us the way.
Just follow me.
See ya tomorrow, Clo.
Hasta manana.
What're we gonna do?
There's no way Hilda's
gonna help us pull this job.
If we don't get
somebody to help us,
the plan's a bust, baby.
Don't get all jingle-brained.
Who needs Hilda when we've
got her trusting young niece?
You're the most, daddy-o.
And don't forget it.
The portal to the
Netherworld is in your shower?
I know.
I was pushing
for the tool shed,
but I got outvoted.
Crazy, baby.
I'll be sorry to
see you guys go.
Say, why don't
you come with us?
Yeah, it'll be a gasser.
A real gone trip.
Glamour n' glitz, dancing,
all-you-can-eat-buffets.
You and us paintin'
the town -- blood red!
Wow, that sounds wicked cool.
But I can't.
Aunt Hilda would fricassee me!
Who says Aunt
Hilda's gonna find out?
You.. you promise you'd
have me home by sunup?
Scout's honor.
And you can believe me when I
say we are not morning people.
Okay, I'm in.
Salem:
A-hem.
Salem!
Sabrina, I'm ashamed of you.
You're not gonna
tell, are you?
Not as long as you
bring along a level-headed,
responsible,
no-nonsense chaperone aka moi.
Deal.
Waaaaa-hooooo!
Party-time!
You guys coming or what?
♪ OH NETHERWORLD! ♪
♪ NETHERWORLD! ♪
♪ NETHERWORLD! ♪
♪ IT'S A MAGICAL -- --TOWN! ♪
♪ THE NETHERWORLD
IS A MAGICAL TOWN! ♪
♪ TOWN! ♪
♪ WITH GHOSTS! ♪
♪ AND GHOULS! ♪
♪ AND THE OCCASIONAL CLOWN! ♪
♪ AND ZOMBIES LIVE SIX
FEET UNDER THE GROUND! ♪
♪ NETHERWORLD -- IT'S
A HIP-HAP HAPPENIN', ♪
♪ KOO-KOO CRACKLIIN',
BING-BANG BEAUTIFUL TOWN! ♪
Koo koo cats and kittens.
Ah, monsieurs!
Welcome to ze Copa-cadaver.
Wow.
This could very well be the
coolest night of my life.
We're countin' on it, kitten.
We're countin' on it.
..and the most annoying thing
about that rotten vampire is I
used to think he was so cool.
You were two
hundred years old.
You were a kid.
Flashy, glamorous guys
seem cool when you're young.
Look at how he had Sabrina
eating out of his hand.
Sabrina!
Still warm.
Sabrina must have
gone with the Bat-Pack!
Let's dimensionalize.
So what was it like filming
"The Transylvanian Candidate?"
All my closest
friends had cameos.
And of course, my co-star
was a young Shirley MacVein.
Wow. Music, movies, nightclubs.
Is there anything
you guys can't do?
They can't stay in this club.
Ahh!
Big scary zombie!
Well, well, well.
If it isn't my
old pal Dead Tony.
Salem:
Dead Tony?
We used to run
around together.
Now he owns all the
clubs, all the casinos,
Aberzombie & Witch,
even... the Blood Bank.
He's boosted all the prices,
so a workin' stiff vampire
can't afford a decent meal.
You got some nerve showing
your face at the Copa-cadaver.
If I had a face like yours,
I'd have nerve showin' it
anywhere.
Always with the jokes.
Dead Tony owns this joint now.
Time to amscray.
Boys!
Uhhhhhhhhhh..
Uhhhhhhhhhh..
Uhhhhhhhh..
Shake a leg!
Hahahaha!
Oh.
Um, maybe we should
just show ourselves out.
C'mon gang, let's blow.
That big fat zombie jerk!
Ruining
everybody's fun like that!
Time to go in for the kill.
Say, Sabrina...
How'd you like to help us get
a little payback on Dead Tony?
Would I!
What do you have in mind?
He stole some of our blood.
No way!
He's keeping it hidden in
that blood bank of his.
We need your help
to get it back..
..so the vault where he
keeps the blood bags is fulla
hanging garlic bulbs.
Eeyyuuucch.
Sabrina, your job is to take
down the garlic so it can't
hurt us.
Wait a minute. This really
sounds like a burglary.
Y'know, I was
gonna mention that,
but then I remembered I was
completely lacking in scruples
and it was okay again.
This ain't burglary.
It's our own stuff
we're stealing back.
Mmm, think of it
as a big game.
Game?
Yeah, y'know, the kind of thing
the Bat Pack's famous for.
Harmless stuff.
Koo-koo nutty hijinks, baby.
Well, I guess koo-koo
nutty hi-jinks sounds pretty
harmless.
Thatta girl.
You're on, cool cat.
One diversion,
coming right up.
Help.
I'm an innocent
cat, stuck in a tree.
Who will save me?
Uhhhhhhhh..
Uhhhhhhh..
Okay, behind this door is
the entrance to the vault.
Now, there should be a clove
or two of hanging garlic just
as you go in.
Oh no. The hermetically
sealed garlic bags.
Salem's got them!
We can't risk going back past
that zombie guard, baby.
So how do we get
rid of the garlic?
Oh no.
"A clove or two."
Sha-right!
Blechh!
And the night
started out so well..
O-kay, guys.
All clear. Unggghhh.
Heeheehee!
Come to poppa.
What happened to you?
I ate all the--
Ugh, yikes!
Oh huh huh.
Whhhaaaaat!?
When I get my
hands on Sabrina...
Forget about Sabrina.
When I get my hands on Fang..
Shh! Listen.
Yeah, Kinsky?
Dead Tony here.
I got a problem
at the Blood Bank.
The bat-pack.
Yeah, an' they got a
little witch girl wit' em.
We have to get
her out of there.
Over there.
Why do I get stuck
with the wet mop?
'Cuz Fang is
your ex-boyfriend.
Hoo! Ah! Hey!
Waaaaah!
Yeesh!
Sorry!
Uhhhhg...
You okay?
It's the garlic.
Right now, Godzilla and
Megalon are duking it out in
my stomach.
Gyeh, heh, heh.
Here we are -- the Blood Bank.
Hope we're not too late!
We're too late.
What now?
Ah! Get off!
Shoo shoo!
Oh, hey guys. We were just--
--robbing the Blood Bank.
Such very naughty girls..
I know this looks really bad,
but you've gotta believe us.
We didn't steal any blood.
That remains to be seen.
Take them away.
I can't believe you guys are
going back out this late at
night.
Gotta celebrate the victory.
I'd trade my adjustable coffin
to see Dead Tony's face when
he realizes he's been jacked.
In breaking news, a rare
vampire tribunal is under way
this evening for two
witches accused of robbing the
downtown Blood Bank.
Oh no!
Somehow they got
Aunt Hilda and Zelda!
If convicted, the two face
banishment to eternal torment
in the Great Swamp
of Perpetual Stench.
That doesn't
sound like much fun.
Yeesh, poor Hilda.
C'mon, people, let's get this
over with before daylight, huh?
Wait a minute, don't
we even get a lawyer?
Whoops.
Nearly forgot.
Where's the lawyer?
Oh, we're right
here, your honor.
I'm Lefty.
And that there's Jake.
Huh? Why wouldn't it
be Lefty and Righty?
Our mother took care
of the naming business,
thankyouverymuch.
Okay, but..
why is Lefty on the right?
Eh, we get a lot of that.
We're doomed.
Guys, you have to
go save my Aunts.
Us?
No, you got us wrong, kitten.
We're more like uh,
swingin' party vampires.
As in, "Crazy, baby!"
I feel bad about Hilda, but
those vampires ares ruthless
-- they'd make
mincemeat out of us.
If you won't go, I will.
And so will Salem.
Um, actually you
know, I'm a little busy...
calculating the most efficient
route to get us to that
Vampire Tribunal.
Your funeral.
I can't believe I thought
you guys were cool.
Urrp! 'Scuse me.
Don't yous mugs give
me the hairy eyeball.
You just as scared as I am.
Your honor, I move to dismiss
on the grounds that my clients
committed no crime.
Denied.
Welp, that's it.
I'm out of ideas.
The defense rests.
Huh?
I hereby sentence Hilda and
Zelda Spellman to be banished
for all time to the Great
Swamp of Perpetual Stench!
Bring out the
punishment portal!
What kind of
kangaroo court is this?!
For your information, our
courts are probably the most
efficiently-run in
the Netherworld.
Man, that kinda attitude
really gripes my cookies.
Bailiffs! Commence punishment!
Huh, aaah!
Sabrina: Wait!
Sabrina!
This is all my fault.
I knew it was wrong, but I
snuck out to the Netherworld
with dreams of glamour and glitz
and believed Fang's lies.
Now my two aunts are getting
blamed for my bad judgment.
Your honor, the verdict
has been passed down.
Let's not waste any
more of the court's time.
Lefty, you are
one lousy lawyer.
I'm Jake. And Lefty's the one
who almost didn't pass the bar.
Well, that's cuz'
I copied off you!
(arguing)
I don't have time for
this.
Throw 'em all in!
The cat, too!
"The cat too?"
I haven't said a thing!
Not one thing!
You did the right
thing, Sabrina.
Well, not before of
course, but we'll talk
about that later..
Assuming there is a later.
Koo-koo, cats n' kittens!
Huh?
Sabrina's telling the truth.
We're the ones you want.
Great, so you're all guilty.
You guys for
pulling the heist,
Sabrina for helping
you, and the witches,
I dunno, for raising her.
And what exactly
did the cat do?
Tell me that, please?
Suck it up, Salem --
we're all in this together.
You see, folks, to us, robbing
the Blood Bank was settling an
old score between the vampire
community and Dead Tony.
We can't let
zombies control the town!
How many of us has he
put out of business?
Banned performers like the
Bat Pack from his clubs?
Dead Tony: Probably a lot.
But I also secretly made some
of them my business partners.
Right, Kinsky?
Right as rain.
Take out this trash.
I don't think so.
7:13 a.m.
Sun's already up outside.
Clammy, let's have
that patented high "C!"
♪ Laaaaaa! ♪
Ahhhhhhhh!!
Not so fast!
Nuts. Did not see that coming.
Great, banished to the Great
Swamp of Perpetual Stench with
a tummyache.
Uh-oh.
BURRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP!!!!!
Ah! Garlic! It burns! It burns!
Sabrina!
Your skanky garlic
breath is saving the day!
Again! Again! Do it again!
And aim towards Kinsky!
BURRRRRRRRRPPPPP!!!!
Witchling!
You're ruining everything!
Ahhhh!!!!
Crazy, baby!
BURRP!
UURRRP!
BRAAAP!
Let's get out of here!
Urrp!
We can't!
The sun's out!
Save yourselves, kiddos.
Oh, Jim-i-nee!
I can't leave Fang
behind after all this!
C'mon boys, hop in!
Hildie, you're the grooviest!
Crazy, baby!
Wow!
♪ COME FLY ACROSS THE MOON WITH
ME FOR HOT NOCTURNAL FUN ♪
♪ WE'LL DANCE A SPOOKY
TARENTELLA ♪
♪ TILL THE
NIGHT IS DONE ♪
♪ THEN CUDDLE IN OUR COZY
COFFIN HIDING FROM THE SUN ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU HIT ME
WHERE I LIVE! ♪
♪ BOO-DABBA-DEEBA-D DABB BA ♪
♪ HILDA -- PLEASE FORGIVE
AND I'LL BE YOURS FOREVER ♪
♪ THAT'S NO LIE ♪
♪ SKOO-BOPPITY-BIPP PITY-B
BOPPITY-B OW-WOW-WOW! ♪
♪ CUZ' BABY -- AN
IMMORTAL NEVER DIES! ♪
Koo hang baby.
Put a twist in that one.
How's your steak baby?
Koo-koo, baby.
That's the end!
(laughter)
(laughter)
(laughter)
Freaks!
Girl: Savage, we love you.