Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 61 - Working Witches - full transcript
Hilda and Zelda want a car, and need some cash fast! Quigley explains that they need to get a good old-fashioned job. They reluctantly work at the local fast food joint, but trouble brews when Hilda gets promoted for Zelda's hard efforts. The success goes to Hilda's head and she has to hit bottom before she realizes how much she needs her sister and the importance of teamwork.
[PURRING]
♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪
♪ STAND UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪
♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND
ACROBAT ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪
♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪
♪ COME HAVE A RIDE ♪
♪ GET HAPPY ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
HA HA!
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT
♪ DUM DE DUM DUM DUM ♪
Zelda:
OOH. HEY. OH. OOH.
BOY, I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE HAVE TO CARRY
EVERYTHING HOME.
AND I'LL TELL YOU,
THESE EGGS ARE HEAVY!
THEY MUST BE LARGE.
OOH!
WHOA!
OH, WHAT
A GOOD IDEA!
PIT STOP!
LITTLE HELP HERE,
THANK YOU?
NOT THAT KIND
OF HELP.
I COULD
HAVE DONE THAT.
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT WE NEED?
A LITTLE
SELF-AWARENESS?
NO. A CAR.
I MEAN,
WHY DOES QUIGLEY
ALWAYS GET
TO DRIVE THE CAR?
'CAUSE IT'S HIS.
WHAT WE NEED
IS A CAR.
WHAT WE NEED
IS TO GET HOME
BEFORE DARK.
HEY!
WHERE ARE THE EGGS?
AND WHY IS MY TUSHY
ALL WET AND SQUISHY?
SO, YOU SEE,
SINCE WE CAN'T
FLY OUR BROOMS
DURING THE DAY,
WE'VE JUST
GOT TO HAVE A CAR.
AND THIS
ISN'T ABOUT US.
THIS IS REALLY...
ABOUT YOU!
THINK ABOUT ALL
THE HELP WE COULD BE
WITH THE CAR.
SHE'S RIGHT!
LIKE
GROCERY SHOPPING.
DRIVING SABRINA
TO THE MALL.
PICKING HER UP
FROM SOCCER PRACTICE.
AND WASHING SAID CAR.
YEP,
YOU HEARD IT RIGHT,
WE'D EVEN WASH IT!
WELL, IF IT MEANS
THAT MUCH TO YOU,
SURE, I'LL LET YA
HAVE ONE.
♪ WE GOT A CAR,
WE GOT A CAR ♪
♪ WE GOT A CAR ♪
HA HA HA!
Quigley: AS LONG AS
YOU PAY FOR IT YOURSELF.
Both: HUH?
SAY WHAT?
DID YOU SAY PAY?
AS IN BUY?
AS IN TENDER MONEYS?
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
OUR ALLOWANCE
BARELY COVERS OUR
CLOTHES SHOPPING!
Salem: OUTTA
MY WAY, PEOPLE!
GET ME THE PHONE!
[SABRINA BABBLING]
FOR THE LOVE
OF WHISKERS,
FOR ALL THAT
IS FELINE,
NOT NOW!
AND I WAS, LIKE, YES.
AND HE WAS, LIKE, NO.
AND I WAS, LIKE, YES?
AND HE WAS, LIKE--
SHE'LL, LIKE,
CALL YA BACK.
HEY! THAT WAS
AN IMPORTANT CALL!
WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT IMPORTANT STUFF!
THIS IS A MATTER
OF LIFE AND DEATH!
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Radio: WE'RE LOOKING
FOR THE PERSON
WHO KNOWS THE ANSWER
TO TODAY'S
TRIVIA TORTURE QUESTION.
A RADIO CONTEST?
LIFE OR DEATH?
ZIP IT, SISTER.
I'VE DIALED
WRONG NUMBERS
THAT WERE MORE IMPORTANT
CALLS THAN THE ONE
YOU WERE ON.
AND, BESIDES,
I NEVER WON ANYTHING
IN MY LIFE
AND THEY FINALLY
ASKED A QUESTION
I KNOW!
[GASPS]
IT'S RINGING!
[SHRILL BUZZ]
Man:
LET'S GO TO THE PHONES
AND FIND
OUR LUCKY WINNER.
HELLO,
YOU'RE ON THE AIR.
ME?
YES, YOU!
DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER
TO TODAY'S STUMPER?
YES!
THE ANSWER IS...
THE PANCREAS OF
A POTBELLIED PIG!
DID I WIN?
DID I WIN?
Man: THAT IS CORRECT!
YOU ARE
THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER!
I WON!
I WON SOMETHING!
HA HA HA HA!
HEE HEE, HEE HEE,
YEAH!
Man: HERE'S THE DELUXE LIST
OF PRIZES YOU'VE WON.
A 10-YEAR SUPPLY
OF CHOCOLATES!
10,000 CDs
FROM ARTIE'S HOUSE
OF COMPACT DISCS.
600 POUNDS
OF LIMBURGER CHEESE.
WHA-HOO! EH?
AND LAST
BUT NOT LEAST,
YOU'VE WON
THE DELUXE X.R. 9000
WITH BUILT-IN
DELUXE CAPACITOR
AND Q-WAVE INHIBITOR.
HA HA HA HA!
YES!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT THAT IS?
HEE HEE.
NOT ONE CLUE!
BUT I DON'T CARE.
IT'S GOT
A CAPACITOR!
Man: THE X.R. 9000
IS A MOVIE CAMCORDER.
A MOVIE CAMCORDER?
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
A CAMCORDER!
SINCE WHEN?
SINCE I WON IT.
I WON! I WON!
I WON!
Man: AND NOW
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS COME DOWN
TO THE STATION
AND CLAIM YOUR PRIZES.
HUH?
WHAT'S WRONG?
UH, OTHER THAN
THE FUR, THE CLAWS,
THE 4 PAWS, THE TAIL,
AND THE EATING
FACE-FIRST
OUT OF A BOWL,
NOTHING!
COME ON, WAKE UP AND
SMELL THE KITTY LITTER.
THEY'RE NOT GONNA GIVE
THE PRIZES TO A CAT!
Man: SO, WINNER,
DO YOU HAVE A NAME?
MY--MY NAME?
MY NAME IS
SABRINA SPELLMAN!
SALEM!
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS GO IN MY PLACE
AND CLAIM THE PRIZES.
PLEASE!
Man: SABRINA. HMM.
YOU HAVE A DEEP VOICE
FOR A SABRINA.
THAT'S 'C--
THAT'S, UM--
I GOT A TOUCH
OF THE CROUP.
[COUGHS]
[AS SABRINA]
SORRY 'BOUT THAT.
A LITTLE PHLEGM.
IF YOU THINK YOUR
ALLOWANCE ISN'T ENOUGH,
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED
TO FIND ANOTHER WAY
TO GET MONEY.
FINE.
SO, HOW DOES ONE
PROCURE MONEY?
WE COULD...
WIN THE LOTTERY.
GOOD! THAT'S GOOD.
OR WE COULD...
RENT OURSELVES OUT
FOR SCIENTIFIC
EXPERIMENTS.
GOOD.
LITTLE RISKY,
BUT YOU'RE THINKING.
I LIKE THAT.
LET ME
TRY THIS AGAIN.
WHY DON'T YOU GET JOBS?
[BOTH LAUGHING]
YOU'RE SERIOUS.
WHAT, YOU DON'T
THINK WE CAN WORK?
YEAH,
IT'S NOT LIKE
WE'VE NEVER WORKED
BEFORE, YOU KNOW.
Hilda:
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
WE WERE ONCE HIRED
BY THE KING OF TROY
TO HELP INTERIOR DECORATE
HIS FORTRESS.
Hilda:
WOW! WHAT A FIND.
THIS'LL BE JUST
A DAZZLING CENTERPIECE
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
[GRUNTING]
Hilda: WE WERE
EVEN ONCE HIRED
TO HELP LAUNCH
CRUISE SHIPS
OUT TO SEA.
[CRASH]
[BOTH GASP]
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
BON VOYAGE, NOW.
WITH OUR EXPERIENCE,
WE'LL BE
FIGHTING BACK OFFERS.
UHH!
UHH!
COME BACK
WHEN YOU'VE GOT
SOME YEARS
UNDER YOUR BELT.
WHAT'S HE SAYING?
WE'VE GOT 300 YEARS
UNDER OUR BELTS.
BUT OUT BODIES
ARE 16.
OH.
DO YOU THINK THAT'S
GONNA BE A PROBLEM?
THERE HAS
TO BE SOME PLACE
A 16-YEAR-OLD
CAN GET A JOB.
Boy: WELCOME
TO SIR MUNCH-A-LOT'S,
WHERE EVERY CUSTOMER
IS KING.
AS THE NEWEST
PEASANTS IN
THE MUNCH-A-LOT KINGDOM,
YOU ARE RIFFRAFF,
RABBLE, AND RUBBISH.
EXCUSE ME, ALVIN?
SIR ALVIN.
I DIDN'T SPEND 6 MONTHS
AT THE FRY STATION
SO YOU COULD
CALL ME ALVIN.
SORRY, SIR ALVIN.
DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING
IN THE BACK
THAT'S A BIT MORE
FLATTERING?
PERHAPS SOMETHING
IN FUSCHIA.
MAYBE STRAPLESS?
SILENCE!
AS PEASANTS
UNDER THE RULE
OF SIR MUNCH-A-LOT,
YE MUST HEED
A FEW SIMPLE RULES.
CHAPTER ONE:
NO READING.
YOU JUST BROKE
THE FIRST RULE,
THOU PLEBIAN TRASH!
ONE DEMERIT.
[CROWD CHATTERING]
WHAT'S ALL THE HOOPLA?
WHO CARES?
LET'S JUST GET MY PRIZES
AND GET OUT OF HERE.
[CROWD CHEERING]
THERE'S OUR WINNER!
[BAND PLAYING
WHEN THE SAINTS
GO MARCHING IN]
HOW DOES IT FEEL
BEING THE WINNER
OF THE TRIVIA TORTURE
CONTEST?
I'D JUST LIKE TO THANK
THE LITTLE PEOPLE--
UHM!
UH, I...
UH, I'D JUST
LIKE TO THANK...
THE LITTLE PEOPLE?
WHAT A GREAT LINE!
NOW, HOW ABOUT
A PHOTO FOR OUR
PUBLICITY DEPARTMENT?
PUBLICITY?
ABSOLUTELY-TOOTELY!
SINCE YOU'RE OUR
ONE MILLIONTH WINNER,
WE'RE GONNA
MAKE YOU A STAR!
[COUGHS]
LET'S JUST
GET THIS WHARF RAT
OUT OF THE WAY.
DIRTY FOOD TRAYS.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ACTUALLY,
WE DON'T.
I'M DRAWING
A BLANK HERE.
WASH, CLEAN, SCRUB.
YUCK! DON'T YOU HAVE
PEOPLE THAT DO THIS?
YES. YOU.
[LAUGHS]
REMIND ME AGAIN
WHY WE GOT THIS JOB.
CHA-CHING!
CASH, MONEY.
ENOUGH TO BUY A CAR.
RIGHT. SOME MAGIC
WILL HELP.
ONE SPECIAL
SUPER SUDS SPELL
COMING UP!
WE CAN'T
DO A SPELL HERE!
WHY NOT?
IF ALVIN CATCHES US,
IT'S OFF WITH OUR HEADS.
OR EVEN WORSE,
WE LOSE OUR JOBS!
BESIDES, HARD WORK
IS THE FOUNDATION
OF THIS GREAT NATION.
A LITTLE HARD WORK
NEVER HURT ANYONE.
THERE'S A FIRST TIME
FOR EVERYTHING.
HERE, GRAB A SPONGE.
THAT'S NOT A SPONGE,
IT'S A RAT!
[SQUEAKS]
AAH!
BATHROOM.
I'LL BE
RIGHT BACK.
WHEW!
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE TRAYS?
THEY'VE BEEN...
TAKEN CARE OF.
HILDA, IF YOU DON'T
DO THIS JOB RIGHT,
WE'RE GONNA
GET IN TROUBLE!
EXCELLENT WORK.
WE ARE PLEASED.
YOU'RE NEEDED
IN THE TODDLER PLAYLAND.
[CHILDREN TALKING
AND LAUGHING]
WE HAVE TO
FIND WHAT?
A LOST PACIFIER.
I'M GOING IN.
[GIGGLES]
[PANTING]
AH! HEE HEE.
UHH. GOT IT.
I SCRAPED OFF
MOST OF THE FLESH
ON MY KNEECAPS,
BUT I GOT IT!
THERE YA GO,
LITTLE FELLER.
EXCELLENT WORK,
PEASANT HILDA.
I SMELL..
[SNIFFS]
PROMOTION.
GRR.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOU?
WE WORKED.
WORK, I'LL TELL YA,
IS A LOT OF WORK.
PERHAPS THAT'S WHY
IT'S CALLED WORK.
BUT WE WON'T
HAVE TO DO THIS
FOR MUCH LONGER.
AS SOON AS
WE GET THE MONEY
FOR OUR 275
X.E. CONVERTIBLE,
OUR VOCATION IS
GONNA BE A VACATION.
[BOTH SIGH]
Quigley:
BUT CARS ARE EXPENSIVE,
ESPECIALLY CONVERTIBLES.
Hilda: IT DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE
A CONVERTIBLE.
THEN THERE'S
THE COST OF GAS,
INSURANCE...
NOT TO MENTION
TUNE-UPS, OIL,
ANTIFREEZE,
TRANSMISSION FLUID.
WELL, A CLUNKER CAR
IS BETTER THAN NO CAR.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND IF WE HAVE
TO HAVE LOUSY JOBS,
I'M GLAD I CAN
BE THERE WITH YOU.
WE CAN DO IT
TOGETHER.
[SPLASH]
HILDA, I COULD USE
SOME HELP.
I'M HANDING
THE POTATOES TO YOU
AS FAST AS I CAN!
[TRUMPETS]
HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
A PROCLAMATION
BY HIS MAJESTY,
LORD OF DINNER SHIFT,
SIR ALVIN.
[TRUMPET BLARES]
GOOD WORK
AT SIR MUNCH-A-LOT'S
DOTH NOT GO UNNOTICED.
WE HAVE A NEW PEASANT
AMONGST US WHO,
BY HER VIRTUOUS HARD WORK
AND DEDICATION,
HAS PROVEN TO BE
AN EXEMPLARY EMPLOYEE.
AW, SHUCKS.
THEREFORE, I PROCLAIM
A PROMOTION TO...
ARCHDUCHESS TO...
HILDA SPELLMAN.
[GASPS]
WHOO!
BY THE POWER
OF PROCEDURAL ARTICLE 2,
I DUB THEE HILDA,
ARCHDUCHESS OF POULTRY!
THIS IS PERHAPS
THE GREATEST MOMENT
OF MY LIFE.
IT'S NOT FAIR!
I DID
ALL THE WORK, AND
SHE GETS THE PROMOTION.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
I'M HERE 9 YEARS,
I'M STILL
THE NEW GUY.
A 10-YEAR SUPPLY
OF CHOCOLATE?
I'M IN HEAVEN!
OH, LOOK!
GREEN SPOTS.
WHAT IS IT,
MINT FLAVORING?
[GAGS]
NO. MOLD FLAVORING.
BLECCH!
YUCK!
DISGUSTING.
WELL, WE CAN ALWAYS
GIVE 'EM AWAY
AT HALLOWEEN.
HEY, QUIG,
HAVE A CD ON ME.
"DON'T JACK MY YAK,
BY SHERPA ICE.
A TIBETAN RAP
COMPILATION."
HMM...
WELL, THERE'S BOUND
TO BE A FEW LEMONS.
THEY'RE
ALL THE SAME!
ALL 10,000 OF THEM.
NO MATTER,
I'VE GOT THE X.R. 9000
WITH Q-WAVE INHIBITOR,
AND NO ONE CAN
TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.
HEY, SABRINA.
COOL,
THE X.R. 9000!
SABRINA, YOU WINNING
THE TRIVIA TORTURE
IS THE COOLEST
THING EVER!
WELL, I WAS LUCKY!
THANKS.
HOW ABOUT
GOING TO THE PARK
AND TAPING
MY SKATEBOARD STUNTS?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WELL...
I SHOULD...
ASK FIRST.
TO USE
YOUR OWN CAMCORDER?
MY CAMCORDER?
OF COURSE
IT'S MY CAMCORDER.
UH, A CAT WINNING
A RADIO CONTEST
WOULD BE SILLY.
SO LET'S ROLL!
RIGHT BEHIND YA.
WHAT WAS I
SUPPOSED TO SAY?
WELL, OK, BUT
BE BACK IN AN HOUR.
I WANT TO TAPE
THE HOT LITTLE
WHITE SIAMESE
ON HER
MORNING WALK.
WHUMPAH!
YOU'RE THE BEST.
YES, MY LORD.
THAT'S 2 RANCID
RIB ROASTS,
2 MEDIEVAL MALTS,
AND A LAD AND LASSIE
LUCKY MEAL.
DOES THIS
COME WITH A TOY?
OH, YES, OF COURSE.
BE CAREFUL WITH THAT.
DON'T LET HIM
PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH.
[CLICK]
UNACCEPTABLE.
DO YOU MOCK ME?
YOU DIDN'T OFFER
A SIDE OF GRUEL.
UP-SELL, UP-SELL,
UP-SELL!
YOU GET ONE DEMERIT.
GOOD CATCH,
ARCHDUCHESS HILDA!
IT'S THE ATTENTION
TO DETAIL
THAT MAKES HER
YOUR SUPERIOR.
SHE PROMISED SHE'D
BE BACK IN AN HOUR,
SO IF SHE WERE
TO WALK IN NOW,
SHE'D ONLY
BE 4 HOURS LATE!
Both: SHE USED
TO BE MY BEST FRIEND.
SOME FRIEND.
[BURPS]
CHOCOLATE?
TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE?
NO.
IT'S MY MONEY.
WHA...
HUH?
AREN'T PROMOTIONS
GREAT?
NOT ONLY DO I GET
TO GIVE PEOPLE ORDERS,
I MAKE MORE MONEY!
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE CLOSE
TO GETTING THAT CAR.
YOU KNOW,
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
SINCE I'M MAKING
MORE MONEY,
TECHNICALLY,
THE CAR SHOULD
BE MORE MINE.
INSTEAD OF 50/50,
IT SHOULD BE 80/20.
WHAT DO YA THINK?
MAKE THAT 90/10.
Sabrina: HEY,
AUNT ZELDA. WAVE!
IF I DO,
ARCHDUCHESS SHRIEKS-A-LOT
WILL PROBABLY SEND ME
TO THE GALLOWS.
ARCHDUCHESS HILDA,
I MUST LEAVE
THIS FAIR KINGDOM
AND JOURNEY FORTH
TO MY ORTHODONTIST.
TIS TIME FOR
MY WEEKLY TIGHTENING.
I LEAVE THIS KINGDOM
IN YOUR COMPETENT HANDS.
I WON'T
DISAPPOINT YOU, SIRE.
NOW THAT
I'M IN CHARGE,
I GET TO CARRY
THE SCEPTER.
OH, GOOD. I'VE GOT
THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER!
HILDA, THERE'S
MORE TO BEING A BOSS
THAN CARRYING
THE SCEPTER.
I KNOW THAT.
THERE'S ALSO
BOSSING PEOPLE
AROUND.
AND I'M NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO TAKE IT
EASY ON YOU ANYMORE.
EASY?
LET'S FACE IT, ZELDA,
YOU'RE NOT QUITE
MUNCH-A-LOT MATERIAL,
ARE YOU?
YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I QUIT!
YOU CAN'T QUIT
BECAUSE I FIRE YOU.
WELL, I CAN SEE
YOU TWO ARE BUSY.
I'LL JUST, UH,
MOSEY ON OVER HERE AND--
OH, WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THE TIME? BYE-BYE.
FINE! FIRE ME.
I'M SICK AND TIRED
OF DOING ALL THE WORK
WHILE YOU TAKE
ALL THE CREDIT ANYWAY.
DO I SENSE
A LITTLE JEALOUSY?
LET ME ASK YOU
SOMETHING, HILDA.
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...
"I'M GLAD I CAN
BE THERE WITH YOU"
AND "WE CAN
DO IT TOGETHER"?
WELL, YOU'RE
GOING TO DO IT ALONE!
AND I'M GONNA HANG AROUND
AND WATCH TO SEE
HOW THE GRAND
POOH-BAH OF POULTRY
GETS ON WITHOUT ME.
10-YEAR SUPPLY
OF CHOCOLATES.
HA! I SAY HA!
MORE LIKE ONE DAY.
Radio: THAT'S RIGHT,
CATS AND KITTENS,
OUR OWN
TRIVIA TORTURE WINNER,
SABRINA SPELLMAN,
IS GOING TO HAVE
HER VERY OWN BILLBOARD!
OH!
WILL LIFE'S CRUELTIES
EVER END?
[SLURPS]
CHOCOLATE.
[GROANS]
AAH!
OOF.
YOU! IT'S 2 PICKLES
PER BURGER, NOT 3.
2 DEMERITS.
YOU! GIMME THAT!
TASTE TEST.
[GLUG GLUG]
UGH!
YOU CALL THAT
A MILKSHAKE?
NO.
I CALL IT
THE EXCESS GREASE
FROM THE GRILL.
FINE. CARRY ON.
AND YOU,
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
UH, EATING.
I'M--
I'M A CUSTOMER.
I'LL LET YOU OFF
THIS TIME,
BUT CHEW WITH
YOUR MOUTH CLOSED!
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
YOU'RE WORSE
THAN ALVIN.
WE QUIT.
OK, FINE.
2--NO, 3!
3 DEMERITS
FOR ALL OF YOU.
WAIT, NO. 8!
8 DEMERITS.
63!
NOW GET BACK HERE!
OK, PEOPLE, LET'S...
LOOK ALIVE.
[LAUGHS]
I CAN RUN THIS PLACE
BY MYSELF.
AFTER ALL, THAT'S
WHAT I WAS DOING ANYWAY.
[CROWD SHOUTING]
HI, WELCOME
TO SIR MUNCH-A-LOT,
WHERE EVERY CUSTOMER
IS KING.
SAVE IT FOR
THE TRAINING VIDEO,
LADY.
GIMME A LARGE
FEUDAL FRIES.
K.W.M.S.
IS PROUD TO HONOR
OUR TRIVIA TORTURE
WINNER,
SABRINA SPELLMAN!
[CROWD CHEERING]
HEY, IT'S BIG
FINE FOXY FAR-OUT
FANTASTIC FINE FEMININE
FEMALE SABRINA!
WHOA. YOUR PICTURE
ON A BILLBOARD?
YOU'RE, LIKE, MORE FAMOUS
THAN GRAHAM CRACKERS.
I HOPE THEY GOT
MY GOOD SIDE.
AAH!
WHAT'S WRONG?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY USED THAT PICTURE!
I'VE GOT A ZIT
THE SIZE OF CLEVELAND!
I CAN'T LET PEOPLE
SEE ME LIKE THAT!
PICTURE BILLBOARD
UP IN THE SKY,
MAKE
THE WINNER'S PICTURE
THE PRETTIEST
ON HIGH.
THERE,
THAT SHOULD DO IT.
OK, IT'S TIME.
K.W.M.S. IS PROUD
TO PRESENT...
[ALL GASP]
A CAT?
HEY, THAT LOOKS
LIKE YOUR CAT!
THE WINNER!
I SAID TO MAKE
THE WINNER LOOK GOOD.
I COMPLETELY FORGOT
I WAS JUST COVERING
FOR SALEM!
I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW
HOW THIS HAPPENED.
THAT'S OK.
JUST KEEP IT THIS WAY.
I JUST REMEMBERED
A FRIEND.
I'VE GOTTA RUN.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
BYE-BYE.
[CROWD SHOUTING]
WHOA! UHH.
ZELDA, HELP ME.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
OK, I WAS WRONG.
I NEED YOU.
I NEED YOU LIKE
A FISH NEEDS WATER.
LIKE A--WELL...
LIKE A SISTER
NEEDS A SISTER.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED, SIS.
FIRST, LET'S
CLEAR THIS PLACE OUT.
[CROWD SHOUTING]
HEY, LOOK,
IT'S A RAT!
OH, MY!
COCKROACHES!
OK, EVERYBODY,
KARAOKE SING-ALONG!
[ALL SCREAMING]
[TIRES SQUEAL]
WELL, LET'S SEE
IF WE CAN GET THIS PLACE
CLEANED UP BEFORE--
Alvin: WHAT
HAS HAPPENED
TO MY KINGDOM?
ARCHDUCHESS HILDA,
WHAT DID YOU DO?
ACTUALLY, SIR ALVIN,
IT WAS MY FAULT.
HILDA WAS TRYING
TO BE A GOOD MANAGER,
AND I DIDN'T SUPPORT HER
AS I SHOULD HAVE.
NO, IT'S MY FAULT.
I GOT CARRIED AWAY.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET
BEING ARCHDUCHESS
GO TO MY HEAD.
NO, I WAS JEALOUS.
NO, I WAS
OUT OF CONTROL.
IT'S BOTH
YOUR FAULTS!
YOU'RE BOTH DEMOTED
TO SUB-PEASANTS
LEVEL.
SUB-PEASANT?
WHAT COULD BE LOWER
THAN BEING A PEASANT?
Hilda:
TELL ME AGAIN.
OOF! WHY ARE WE
DOING THIS?
JUST 542 MORE PAYCHECKS,
AND WE'LL HAVE A CAR.
AT LEAST
WE'RE IN IT TOGETHER.
YEP,
AT LEAST WE ARE.
HEY!
HOW COME
I'M THE BACKSIDE?
I WANT
TO BE THE HEAD.
HERE WE GO AGAIN.
Sabrina:
I JUST WANTED TO SAY
I'M SORRY FOR
GETTING A SWELLED HEAD
AND IGNORING
MY BEST FRIEND SALEM.
AND THAT HE
IS THE SMARTEST,
MOST CLEVER,
HANDSOMEST CAT OF ALL.
Salem: CUT!
YOU FORGOT
TO SAY CHARMING.
SORRY.
LET'S TAKE IT AGAIN
FROM THE TOP
JUST THE WAY
I WROTE IT.
NO AD-LIBBING.
AND LET'S SEE
SOME EMOTION!
[LAUGHTER]
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
FREAKS.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT
♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪
♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪
♪ STAND UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪
♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND
ACROBAT ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪
♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪
♪ COME HAVE A RIDE ♪
♪ GET HAPPY ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
HA HA!
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT
♪ DUM DE DUM DUM DUM ♪
Zelda:
OOH. HEY. OH. OOH.
BOY, I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE HAVE TO CARRY
EVERYTHING HOME.
AND I'LL TELL YOU,
THESE EGGS ARE HEAVY!
THEY MUST BE LARGE.
OOH!
WHOA!
OH, WHAT
A GOOD IDEA!
PIT STOP!
LITTLE HELP HERE,
THANK YOU?
NOT THAT KIND
OF HELP.
I COULD
HAVE DONE THAT.
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT WE NEED?
A LITTLE
SELF-AWARENESS?
NO. A CAR.
I MEAN,
WHY DOES QUIGLEY
ALWAYS GET
TO DRIVE THE CAR?
'CAUSE IT'S HIS.
WHAT WE NEED
IS A CAR.
WHAT WE NEED
IS TO GET HOME
BEFORE DARK.
HEY!
WHERE ARE THE EGGS?
AND WHY IS MY TUSHY
ALL WET AND SQUISHY?
SO, YOU SEE,
SINCE WE CAN'T
FLY OUR BROOMS
DURING THE DAY,
WE'VE JUST
GOT TO HAVE A CAR.
AND THIS
ISN'T ABOUT US.
THIS IS REALLY...
ABOUT YOU!
THINK ABOUT ALL
THE HELP WE COULD BE
WITH THE CAR.
SHE'S RIGHT!
LIKE
GROCERY SHOPPING.
DRIVING SABRINA
TO THE MALL.
PICKING HER UP
FROM SOCCER PRACTICE.
AND WASHING SAID CAR.
YEP,
YOU HEARD IT RIGHT,
WE'D EVEN WASH IT!
WELL, IF IT MEANS
THAT MUCH TO YOU,
SURE, I'LL LET YA
HAVE ONE.
♪ WE GOT A CAR,
WE GOT A CAR ♪
♪ WE GOT A CAR ♪
HA HA HA!
Quigley: AS LONG AS
YOU PAY FOR IT YOURSELF.
Both: HUH?
SAY WHAT?
DID YOU SAY PAY?
AS IN BUY?
AS IN TENDER MONEYS?
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
OUR ALLOWANCE
BARELY COVERS OUR
CLOTHES SHOPPING!
Salem: OUTTA
MY WAY, PEOPLE!
GET ME THE PHONE!
[SABRINA BABBLING]
FOR THE LOVE
OF WHISKERS,
FOR ALL THAT
IS FELINE,
NOT NOW!
AND I WAS, LIKE, YES.
AND HE WAS, LIKE, NO.
AND I WAS, LIKE, YES?
AND HE WAS, LIKE--
SHE'LL, LIKE,
CALL YA BACK.
HEY! THAT WAS
AN IMPORTANT CALL!
WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT IMPORTANT STUFF!
THIS IS A MATTER
OF LIFE AND DEATH!
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Radio: WE'RE LOOKING
FOR THE PERSON
WHO KNOWS THE ANSWER
TO TODAY'S
TRIVIA TORTURE QUESTION.
A RADIO CONTEST?
LIFE OR DEATH?
ZIP IT, SISTER.
I'VE DIALED
WRONG NUMBERS
THAT WERE MORE IMPORTANT
CALLS THAN THE ONE
YOU WERE ON.
AND, BESIDES,
I NEVER WON ANYTHING
IN MY LIFE
AND THEY FINALLY
ASKED A QUESTION
I KNOW!
[GASPS]
IT'S RINGING!
[SHRILL BUZZ]
Man:
LET'S GO TO THE PHONES
AND FIND
OUR LUCKY WINNER.
HELLO,
YOU'RE ON THE AIR.
ME?
YES, YOU!
DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER
TO TODAY'S STUMPER?
YES!
THE ANSWER IS...
THE PANCREAS OF
A POTBELLIED PIG!
DID I WIN?
DID I WIN?
Man: THAT IS CORRECT!
YOU ARE
THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER!
I WON!
I WON SOMETHING!
HA HA HA HA!
HEE HEE, HEE HEE,
YEAH!
Man: HERE'S THE DELUXE LIST
OF PRIZES YOU'VE WON.
A 10-YEAR SUPPLY
OF CHOCOLATES!
10,000 CDs
FROM ARTIE'S HOUSE
OF COMPACT DISCS.
600 POUNDS
OF LIMBURGER CHEESE.
WHA-HOO! EH?
AND LAST
BUT NOT LEAST,
YOU'VE WON
THE DELUXE X.R. 9000
WITH BUILT-IN
DELUXE CAPACITOR
AND Q-WAVE INHIBITOR.
HA HA HA HA!
YES!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT THAT IS?
HEE HEE.
NOT ONE CLUE!
BUT I DON'T CARE.
IT'S GOT
A CAPACITOR!
Man: THE X.R. 9000
IS A MOVIE CAMCORDER.
A MOVIE CAMCORDER?
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
A CAMCORDER!
SINCE WHEN?
SINCE I WON IT.
I WON! I WON!
I WON!
Man: AND NOW
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS COME DOWN
TO THE STATION
AND CLAIM YOUR PRIZES.
HUH?
WHAT'S WRONG?
UH, OTHER THAN
THE FUR, THE CLAWS,
THE 4 PAWS, THE TAIL,
AND THE EATING
FACE-FIRST
OUT OF A BOWL,
NOTHING!
COME ON, WAKE UP AND
SMELL THE KITTY LITTER.
THEY'RE NOT GONNA GIVE
THE PRIZES TO A CAT!
Man: SO, WINNER,
DO YOU HAVE A NAME?
MY--MY NAME?
MY NAME IS
SABRINA SPELLMAN!
SALEM!
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS GO IN MY PLACE
AND CLAIM THE PRIZES.
PLEASE!
Man: SABRINA. HMM.
YOU HAVE A DEEP VOICE
FOR A SABRINA.
THAT'S 'C--
THAT'S, UM--
I GOT A TOUCH
OF THE CROUP.
[COUGHS]
[AS SABRINA]
SORRY 'BOUT THAT.
A LITTLE PHLEGM.
IF YOU THINK YOUR
ALLOWANCE ISN'T ENOUGH,
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED
TO FIND ANOTHER WAY
TO GET MONEY.
FINE.
SO, HOW DOES ONE
PROCURE MONEY?
WE COULD...
WIN THE LOTTERY.
GOOD! THAT'S GOOD.
OR WE COULD...
RENT OURSELVES OUT
FOR SCIENTIFIC
EXPERIMENTS.
GOOD.
LITTLE RISKY,
BUT YOU'RE THINKING.
I LIKE THAT.
LET ME
TRY THIS AGAIN.
WHY DON'T YOU GET JOBS?
[BOTH LAUGHING]
YOU'RE SERIOUS.
WHAT, YOU DON'T
THINK WE CAN WORK?
YEAH,
IT'S NOT LIKE
WE'VE NEVER WORKED
BEFORE, YOU KNOW.
Hilda:
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
WE WERE ONCE HIRED
BY THE KING OF TROY
TO HELP INTERIOR DECORATE
HIS FORTRESS.
Hilda:
WOW! WHAT A FIND.
THIS'LL BE JUST
A DAZZLING CENTERPIECE
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
[GRUNTING]
Hilda: WE WERE
EVEN ONCE HIRED
TO HELP LAUNCH
CRUISE SHIPS
OUT TO SEA.
[CRASH]
[BOTH GASP]
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
BON VOYAGE, NOW.
WITH OUR EXPERIENCE,
WE'LL BE
FIGHTING BACK OFFERS.
UHH!
UHH!
COME BACK
WHEN YOU'VE GOT
SOME YEARS
UNDER YOUR BELT.
WHAT'S HE SAYING?
WE'VE GOT 300 YEARS
UNDER OUR BELTS.
BUT OUT BODIES
ARE 16.
OH.
DO YOU THINK THAT'S
GONNA BE A PROBLEM?
THERE HAS
TO BE SOME PLACE
A 16-YEAR-OLD
CAN GET A JOB.
Boy: WELCOME
TO SIR MUNCH-A-LOT'S,
WHERE EVERY CUSTOMER
IS KING.
AS THE NEWEST
PEASANTS IN
THE MUNCH-A-LOT KINGDOM,
YOU ARE RIFFRAFF,
RABBLE, AND RUBBISH.
EXCUSE ME, ALVIN?
SIR ALVIN.
I DIDN'T SPEND 6 MONTHS
AT THE FRY STATION
SO YOU COULD
CALL ME ALVIN.
SORRY, SIR ALVIN.
DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING
IN THE BACK
THAT'S A BIT MORE
FLATTERING?
PERHAPS SOMETHING
IN FUSCHIA.
MAYBE STRAPLESS?
SILENCE!
AS PEASANTS
UNDER THE RULE
OF SIR MUNCH-A-LOT,
YE MUST HEED
A FEW SIMPLE RULES.
CHAPTER ONE:
NO READING.
YOU JUST BROKE
THE FIRST RULE,
THOU PLEBIAN TRASH!
ONE DEMERIT.
[CROWD CHATTERING]
WHAT'S ALL THE HOOPLA?
WHO CARES?
LET'S JUST GET MY PRIZES
AND GET OUT OF HERE.
[CROWD CHEERING]
THERE'S OUR WINNER!
[BAND PLAYING
WHEN THE SAINTS
GO MARCHING IN]
HOW DOES IT FEEL
BEING THE WINNER
OF THE TRIVIA TORTURE
CONTEST?
I'D JUST LIKE TO THANK
THE LITTLE PEOPLE--
UHM!
UH, I...
UH, I'D JUST
LIKE TO THANK...
THE LITTLE PEOPLE?
WHAT A GREAT LINE!
NOW, HOW ABOUT
A PHOTO FOR OUR
PUBLICITY DEPARTMENT?
PUBLICITY?
ABSOLUTELY-TOOTELY!
SINCE YOU'RE OUR
ONE MILLIONTH WINNER,
WE'RE GONNA
MAKE YOU A STAR!
[COUGHS]
LET'S JUST
GET THIS WHARF RAT
OUT OF THE WAY.
DIRTY FOOD TRAYS.
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ACTUALLY,
WE DON'T.
I'M DRAWING
A BLANK HERE.
WASH, CLEAN, SCRUB.
YUCK! DON'T YOU HAVE
PEOPLE THAT DO THIS?
YES. YOU.
[LAUGHS]
REMIND ME AGAIN
WHY WE GOT THIS JOB.
CHA-CHING!
CASH, MONEY.
ENOUGH TO BUY A CAR.
RIGHT. SOME MAGIC
WILL HELP.
ONE SPECIAL
SUPER SUDS SPELL
COMING UP!
WE CAN'T
DO A SPELL HERE!
WHY NOT?
IF ALVIN CATCHES US,
IT'S OFF WITH OUR HEADS.
OR EVEN WORSE,
WE LOSE OUR JOBS!
BESIDES, HARD WORK
IS THE FOUNDATION
OF THIS GREAT NATION.
A LITTLE HARD WORK
NEVER HURT ANYONE.
THERE'S A FIRST TIME
FOR EVERYTHING.
HERE, GRAB A SPONGE.
THAT'S NOT A SPONGE,
IT'S A RAT!
[SQUEAKS]
AAH!
BATHROOM.
I'LL BE
RIGHT BACK.
WHEW!
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE TRAYS?
THEY'VE BEEN...
TAKEN CARE OF.
HILDA, IF YOU DON'T
DO THIS JOB RIGHT,
WE'RE GONNA
GET IN TROUBLE!
EXCELLENT WORK.
WE ARE PLEASED.
YOU'RE NEEDED
IN THE TODDLER PLAYLAND.
[CHILDREN TALKING
AND LAUGHING]
WE HAVE TO
FIND WHAT?
A LOST PACIFIER.
I'M GOING IN.
[GIGGLES]
[PANTING]
AH! HEE HEE.
UHH. GOT IT.
I SCRAPED OFF
MOST OF THE FLESH
ON MY KNEECAPS,
BUT I GOT IT!
THERE YA GO,
LITTLE FELLER.
EXCELLENT WORK,
PEASANT HILDA.
I SMELL..
[SNIFFS]
PROMOTION.
GRR.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOU?
WE WORKED.
WORK, I'LL TELL YA,
IS A LOT OF WORK.
PERHAPS THAT'S WHY
IT'S CALLED WORK.
BUT WE WON'T
HAVE TO DO THIS
FOR MUCH LONGER.
AS SOON AS
WE GET THE MONEY
FOR OUR 275
X.E. CONVERTIBLE,
OUR VOCATION IS
GONNA BE A VACATION.
[BOTH SIGH]
Quigley:
BUT CARS ARE EXPENSIVE,
ESPECIALLY CONVERTIBLES.
Hilda: IT DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE
A CONVERTIBLE.
THEN THERE'S
THE COST OF GAS,
INSURANCE...
NOT TO MENTION
TUNE-UPS, OIL,
ANTIFREEZE,
TRANSMISSION FLUID.
WELL, A CLUNKER CAR
IS BETTER THAN NO CAR.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND IF WE HAVE
TO HAVE LOUSY JOBS,
I'M GLAD I CAN
BE THERE WITH YOU.
WE CAN DO IT
TOGETHER.
[SPLASH]
HILDA, I COULD USE
SOME HELP.
I'M HANDING
THE POTATOES TO YOU
AS FAST AS I CAN!
[TRUMPETS]
HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
A PROCLAMATION
BY HIS MAJESTY,
LORD OF DINNER SHIFT,
SIR ALVIN.
[TRUMPET BLARES]
GOOD WORK
AT SIR MUNCH-A-LOT'S
DOTH NOT GO UNNOTICED.
WE HAVE A NEW PEASANT
AMONGST US WHO,
BY HER VIRTUOUS HARD WORK
AND DEDICATION,
HAS PROVEN TO BE
AN EXEMPLARY EMPLOYEE.
AW, SHUCKS.
THEREFORE, I PROCLAIM
A PROMOTION TO...
ARCHDUCHESS TO...
HILDA SPELLMAN.
[GASPS]
WHOO!
BY THE POWER
OF PROCEDURAL ARTICLE 2,
I DUB THEE HILDA,
ARCHDUCHESS OF POULTRY!
THIS IS PERHAPS
THE GREATEST MOMENT
OF MY LIFE.
IT'S NOT FAIR!
I DID
ALL THE WORK, AND
SHE GETS THE PROMOTION.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
I'M HERE 9 YEARS,
I'M STILL
THE NEW GUY.
A 10-YEAR SUPPLY
OF CHOCOLATE?
I'M IN HEAVEN!
OH, LOOK!
GREEN SPOTS.
WHAT IS IT,
MINT FLAVORING?
[GAGS]
NO. MOLD FLAVORING.
BLECCH!
YUCK!
DISGUSTING.
WELL, WE CAN ALWAYS
GIVE 'EM AWAY
AT HALLOWEEN.
HEY, QUIG,
HAVE A CD ON ME.
"DON'T JACK MY YAK,
BY SHERPA ICE.
A TIBETAN RAP
COMPILATION."
HMM...
WELL, THERE'S BOUND
TO BE A FEW LEMONS.
THEY'RE
ALL THE SAME!
ALL 10,000 OF THEM.
NO MATTER,
I'VE GOT THE X.R. 9000
WITH Q-WAVE INHIBITOR,
AND NO ONE CAN
TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME.
HEY, SABRINA.
COOL,
THE X.R. 9000!
SABRINA, YOU WINNING
THE TRIVIA TORTURE
IS THE COOLEST
THING EVER!
WELL, I WAS LUCKY!
THANKS.
HOW ABOUT
GOING TO THE PARK
AND TAPING
MY SKATEBOARD STUNTS?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WELL...
I SHOULD...
ASK FIRST.
TO USE
YOUR OWN CAMCORDER?
MY CAMCORDER?
OF COURSE
IT'S MY CAMCORDER.
UH, A CAT WINNING
A RADIO CONTEST
WOULD BE SILLY.
SO LET'S ROLL!
RIGHT BEHIND YA.
WHAT WAS I
SUPPOSED TO SAY?
WELL, OK, BUT
BE BACK IN AN HOUR.
I WANT TO TAPE
THE HOT LITTLE
WHITE SIAMESE
ON HER
MORNING WALK.
WHUMPAH!
YOU'RE THE BEST.
YES, MY LORD.
THAT'S 2 RANCID
RIB ROASTS,
2 MEDIEVAL MALTS,
AND A LAD AND LASSIE
LUCKY MEAL.
DOES THIS
COME WITH A TOY?
OH, YES, OF COURSE.
BE CAREFUL WITH THAT.
DON'T LET HIM
PUT IT IN HIS MOUTH.
[CLICK]
UNACCEPTABLE.
DO YOU MOCK ME?
YOU DIDN'T OFFER
A SIDE OF GRUEL.
UP-SELL, UP-SELL,
UP-SELL!
YOU GET ONE DEMERIT.
GOOD CATCH,
ARCHDUCHESS HILDA!
IT'S THE ATTENTION
TO DETAIL
THAT MAKES HER
YOUR SUPERIOR.
SHE PROMISED SHE'D
BE BACK IN AN HOUR,
SO IF SHE WERE
TO WALK IN NOW,
SHE'D ONLY
BE 4 HOURS LATE!
Both: SHE USED
TO BE MY BEST FRIEND.
SOME FRIEND.
[BURPS]
CHOCOLATE?
TAKING OUT THE GARBAGE?
NO.
IT'S MY MONEY.
WHA...
HUH?
AREN'T PROMOTIONS
GREAT?
NOT ONLY DO I GET
TO GIVE PEOPLE ORDERS,
I MAKE MORE MONEY!
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE CLOSE
TO GETTING THAT CAR.
YOU KNOW,
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
SINCE I'M MAKING
MORE MONEY,
TECHNICALLY,
THE CAR SHOULD
BE MORE MINE.
INSTEAD OF 50/50,
IT SHOULD BE 80/20.
WHAT DO YA THINK?
MAKE THAT 90/10.
Sabrina: HEY,
AUNT ZELDA. WAVE!
IF I DO,
ARCHDUCHESS SHRIEKS-A-LOT
WILL PROBABLY SEND ME
TO THE GALLOWS.
ARCHDUCHESS HILDA,
I MUST LEAVE
THIS FAIR KINGDOM
AND JOURNEY FORTH
TO MY ORTHODONTIST.
TIS TIME FOR
MY WEEKLY TIGHTENING.
I LEAVE THIS KINGDOM
IN YOUR COMPETENT HANDS.
I WON'T
DISAPPOINT YOU, SIRE.
NOW THAT
I'M IN CHARGE,
I GET TO CARRY
THE SCEPTER.
OH, GOOD. I'VE GOT
THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER!
HILDA, THERE'S
MORE TO BEING A BOSS
THAN CARRYING
THE SCEPTER.
I KNOW THAT.
THERE'S ALSO
BOSSING PEOPLE
AROUND.
AND I'M NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO TAKE IT
EASY ON YOU ANYMORE.
EASY?
LET'S FACE IT, ZELDA,
YOU'RE NOT QUITE
MUNCH-A-LOT MATERIAL,
ARE YOU?
YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I QUIT!
YOU CAN'T QUIT
BECAUSE I FIRE YOU.
WELL, I CAN SEE
YOU TWO ARE BUSY.
I'LL JUST, UH,
MOSEY ON OVER HERE AND--
OH, WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THE TIME? BYE-BYE.
FINE! FIRE ME.
I'M SICK AND TIRED
OF DOING ALL THE WORK
WHILE YOU TAKE
ALL THE CREDIT ANYWAY.
DO I SENSE
A LITTLE JEALOUSY?
LET ME ASK YOU
SOMETHING, HILDA.
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO...
"I'M GLAD I CAN
BE THERE WITH YOU"
AND "WE CAN
DO IT TOGETHER"?
WELL, YOU'RE
GOING TO DO IT ALONE!
AND I'M GONNA HANG AROUND
AND WATCH TO SEE
HOW THE GRAND
POOH-BAH OF POULTRY
GETS ON WITHOUT ME.
10-YEAR SUPPLY
OF CHOCOLATES.
HA! I SAY HA!
MORE LIKE ONE DAY.
Radio: THAT'S RIGHT,
CATS AND KITTENS,
OUR OWN
TRIVIA TORTURE WINNER,
SABRINA SPELLMAN,
IS GOING TO HAVE
HER VERY OWN BILLBOARD!
OH!
WILL LIFE'S CRUELTIES
EVER END?
[SLURPS]
CHOCOLATE.
[GROANS]
AAH!
OOF.
YOU! IT'S 2 PICKLES
PER BURGER, NOT 3.
2 DEMERITS.
YOU! GIMME THAT!
TASTE TEST.
[GLUG GLUG]
UGH!
YOU CALL THAT
A MILKSHAKE?
NO.
I CALL IT
THE EXCESS GREASE
FROM THE GRILL.
FINE. CARRY ON.
AND YOU,
WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
UH, EATING.
I'M--
I'M A CUSTOMER.
I'LL LET YOU OFF
THIS TIME,
BUT CHEW WITH
YOUR MOUTH CLOSED!
WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?
YOU'RE WORSE
THAN ALVIN.
WE QUIT.
OK, FINE.
2--NO, 3!
3 DEMERITS
FOR ALL OF YOU.
WAIT, NO. 8!
8 DEMERITS.
63!
NOW GET BACK HERE!
OK, PEOPLE, LET'S...
LOOK ALIVE.
[LAUGHS]
I CAN RUN THIS PLACE
BY MYSELF.
AFTER ALL, THAT'S
WHAT I WAS DOING ANYWAY.
[CROWD SHOUTING]
HI, WELCOME
TO SIR MUNCH-A-LOT,
WHERE EVERY CUSTOMER
IS KING.
SAVE IT FOR
THE TRAINING VIDEO,
LADY.
GIMME A LARGE
FEUDAL FRIES.
K.W.M.S.
IS PROUD TO HONOR
OUR TRIVIA TORTURE
WINNER,
SABRINA SPELLMAN!
[CROWD CHEERING]
HEY, IT'S BIG
FINE FOXY FAR-OUT
FANTASTIC FINE FEMININE
FEMALE SABRINA!
WHOA. YOUR PICTURE
ON A BILLBOARD?
YOU'RE, LIKE, MORE FAMOUS
THAN GRAHAM CRACKERS.
I HOPE THEY GOT
MY GOOD SIDE.
AAH!
WHAT'S WRONG?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY USED THAT PICTURE!
I'VE GOT A ZIT
THE SIZE OF CLEVELAND!
I CAN'T LET PEOPLE
SEE ME LIKE THAT!
PICTURE BILLBOARD
UP IN THE SKY,
MAKE
THE WINNER'S PICTURE
THE PRETTIEST
ON HIGH.
THERE,
THAT SHOULD DO IT.
OK, IT'S TIME.
K.W.M.S. IS PROUD
TO PRESENT...
[ALL GASP]
A CAT?
HEY, THAT LOOKS
LIKE YOUR CAT!
THE WINNER!
I SAID TO MAKE
THE WINNER LOOK GOOD.
I COMPLETELY FORGOT
I WAS JUST COVERING
FOR SALEM!
I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW
HOW THIS HAPPENED.
THAT'S OK.
JUST KEEP IT THIS WAY.
I JUST REMEMBERED
A FRIEND.
I'VE GOTTA RUN.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
BYE-BYE.
[CROWD SHOUTING]
WHOA! UHH.
ZELDA, HELP ME.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
OK, I WAS WRONG.
I NEED YOU.
I NEED YOU LIKE
A FISH NEEDS WATER.
LIKE A--WELL...
LIKE A SISTER
NEEDS A SISTER.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED, SIS.
FIRST, LET'S
CLEAR THIS PLACE OUT.
[CROWD SHOUTING]
HEY, LOOK,
IT'S A RAT!
OH, MY!
COCKROACHES!
OK, EVERYBODY,
KARAOKE SING-ALONG!
[ALL SCREAMING]
[TIRES SQUEAL]
WELL, LET'S SEE
IF WE CAN GET THIS PLACE
CLEANED UP BEFORE--
Alvin: WHAT
HAS HAPPENED
TO MY KINGDOM?
ARCHDUCHESS HILDA,
WHAT DID YOU DO?
ACTUALLY, SIR ALVIN,
IT WAS MY FAULT.
HILDA WAS TRYING
TO BE A GOOD MANAGER,
AND I DIDN'T SUPPORT HER
AS I SHOULD HAVE.
NO, IT'S MY FAULT.
I GOT CARRIED AWAY.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET
BEING ARCHDUCHESS
GO TO MY HEAD.
NO, I WAS JEALOUS.
NO, I WAS
OUT OF CONTROL.
IT'S BOTH
YOUR FAULTS!
YOU'RE BOTH DEMOTED
TO SUB-PEASANTS
LEVEL.
SUB-PEASANT?
WHAT COULD BE LOWER
THAN BEING A PEASANT?
Hilda:
TELL ME AGAIN.
OOF! WHY ARE WE
DOING THIS?
JUST 542 MORE PAYCHECKS,
AND WE'LL HAVE A CAR.
AT LEAST
WE'RE IN IT TOGETHER.
YEP,
AT LEAST WE ARE.
HEY!
HOW COME
I'M THE BACKSIDE?
I WANT
TO BE THE HEAD.
HERE WE GO AGAIN.
Sabrina:
I JUST WANTED TO SAY
I'M SORRY FOR
GETTING A SWELLED HEAD
AND IGNORING
MY BEST FRIEND SALEM.
AND THAT HE
IS THE SMARTEST,
MOST CLEVER,
HANDSOMEST CAT OF ALL.
Salem: CUT!
YOU FORGOT
TO SAY CHARMING.
SORRY.
LET'S TAKE IT AGAIN
FROM THE TOP
JUST THE WAY
I WROTE IT.
NO AD-LIBBING.
AND LET'S SEE
SOME EMOTION!
[LAUGHTER]
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO ♪
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
♪ DAH, DAH, DAH ♪
FREAKS.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT
♪ DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪