Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 53 - You've Got a Friend - full transcript
Harvey's favorite show, Billy-Go-Boom-Boom has been cancelled. He begins to freak because everything is changing, nothing stays the same, soon he'll be an old man! Sabrina, not wanting her best friend eternally bummed, casts a spell to make Harvey's childhood imaginary friend, Mort, appear. Harvey is ecstatic to be back in the company of his ol' chum and Sabrina is pleased. That is until Mort childish antics cause trouble around school and Harvey and Sabrina wind up taking the blame! Sabrina is determined to get rid of Mort before he does real damage, but Harvey wants him to stay. Sabrina knows the only way to get rid of Mort is to convince Harvey that he doesn't need his imaginary friend anymore. Harvey decides to forge into young adulthood without him!
[PURRING]
♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪
♪ STAND UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪
♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND
ACROBAT ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪
♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪
♪ COME HAVE A RIDE ♪
♪ GET HAPPY ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
HA HA!
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT
♪ DUM DE DUM DUM DUM ♪
♪ DA DA DA DA ♪
♪ DA DA DA DA ♪
♪ DA DA DA DA ♪
♪ DA DA DA DA... ♪
OH!
COMING THROUGH!
WHOA!
AAH!
OW!
UNH!
OH!
OH!
ALMOST THERE!
WHOA!
ALMOST THERE! WHOA!
NICE MOVES!
WHAT'S THE RUSH?
WHERE'S THE FIRE?
WHY THE HOOPLA?
HOOPLA?
WHO SAYS "HOOPLA?"
JUST THOUGHT I'D TRY
SOMETHING NEW.
WHY ARE YOU
IN SUCH A HURRY?
AMERICA'S FAVORITE
CARTOON BEAVER
BILLY GO-BOOM-BOOM!
TODAY IS THE 500th
EPISODE OF THE BEST
CARTOON EVER!
AND IT STARTS
IN 29 MINUTES.
HARV, I'D REALLY
APPRECIATE
YOU HELPING ME
HOME WITH MY BOOKS--
[HARVEY ROLLING AWAY
ON SKATEBOARD]
BUT I DON'T NEED
ANY HELP.
BUT THANKS FOR ASKING!
TV Announcer: STAY TUNED!
HEY, HARVEY,
I LOST YOU AT SCHOOL.
OH, YEAH, SORRY.
I WANTED TO GET
HOME IN TIME.
33 SECONDS.
JUST ENOUGH TIME
FOR SOME BILLY
GO-BOOM-BOOM TRIVIA.
ASK ME ANYTHING.
UH, HARV,
WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH
ABOUT BILLY GO-BOOM-BOOM?
WHY DO I CARE?
SABRINA, BILLY IS
MORE THAN A CARTOON.
BILLY IS MY LIFE.
I COUNT ON BILLY.
HE SYMBOLIZES
THE CHILD INSIDE
ALL OF US.
UH, SORRY.
NO MORE TIME.
IT'S T-MINUS BILLY.
HA HA HA!
HI, KIDS! IT'S ME!
YOUR OLD PAL PUMICE
THE CLOWN, AND THIS IS
THE PUMICE THE CLOWN
CARTOON CAVALCADE!
NOW THAT BILLY GO-BOOM-BOOM
HAS BEEN CANCELLED,
WE'RE SUPER-DUPER PROUD
TO PRESENT OUR NEW SHOW--
OH!
[CLUCKS LIKE CHICKEN]
TRUDY THE TROMBONE CHICKEN!
HA HA HA!
WHAT?! THIS CAN'T
BE RIGHT!
CHICKENS CAN'T PLAY
TROMBONES!
THEY DON'T
HAVE LIPS!
HARVEY, RELAX.
WHAT ABOUT BILLY?
THEY CANCELLED
BILLY!
HARVEY, YOU OK?
HARV? BUD,
YOU'VE GOTTA SNAP
OUT OF THIS FUNK.
WHAT'S WRONG?
MID-LIFE CRISIS.
HARVEY, YOU'RE 12.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT
BILLY WAS GONNA
BE THERE FOREVER.
YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS MEANS, DON'T YOU?
UM, UH...NEW SHEETS?
NO. GOOD-BYE, YOUTH.
I MEAN,
SOON WE'LL BE MOVING
INTO A NEW STAGE
OF OUR LIVES.
JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL
IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
AND ONCE WE TURN
THAT CORNER,
WE WON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THE COOL
FUN STUFF
THAT I LIKE TO DO.
LIKE WHAT?
PUTTING PEANUT BUTTER
INSIDE PEOPLE'S
GYM SOCKS.
BELCHING THE MELODIES
OF NEW WAVE HITS
OF THE EIGHTIES.
ONE DAY YOU'RE
PUTTING YOUR TEETH
UNDER YOUR PILLOW
FOR THE TOOTH FAIRY,
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
PUTTING THEM
IN A GLASS BY YOUR BED.
OHH. WHAT'S THIS,
DRAMA KING?
MEMENTOS
OF MY YOUTH.
PU-LEASE!
SEE THIS? MY TOENAIL.
IT FELL OFF THE TIME
I KICKED A SOCCER BALL
TOO HARD,
BUT I MADE IT THROUGH.
AND THIS, A WAD OF GUM
THAT ZACK TUPPER
SMUSHED INTO MY HAIR,
BUT I MADE IT THROUGH.
WHAT'S THIS?
OH, THAT'S MORT,
MY OLD IMAGINARY FRIEND.
HE'S THE ONE WHO HELPED
ME MAKE IT THROUGH.
YOU HAD
AN IMAGINARY FRIEND?
LIKE ONE YOU TALKED TO?
YEAH! MORT GOT ME
THROUGH
ALL THE MILESTONES
IN MY LIFE.
POTTY TRAINING,
THAT FIRST CO-ED
BIRTHDAY PARTY,
THE REALIZATION
THAT MY PARENTS
WERE ACTUALLY
ALIEN CANNIBALS
IN DISGUISE.
HUH?!
LUCKILY
THAT LAST ONE
TURNED OUT TO BE
A FALSE ALARM.
AND DID MORT TALK BACK?
YEP. MORT WAS
THE BEST.
UNTIL I WOKE UP
ONE MORNING
AND HE WAS GONE.
DISAPPEARED.
SOMETIMES I WISH
WITH ALL MY HEART
THAT GOOD OLD MORT
WOULD COME BACK
AND HELP ME
GET THROUGH
TIMES LIKE THESE.
HEY, UNC! GOING
MY WAY, RACER X?
HOP ON.
UNCLE QUIGLEY,
HARVEY SAYS
HE USED TO HAVE
AN IMAGINARY FRIEND.
SO?
SO WHAT'S THE DEAL?
IS HE NUTS OR WHAT?
HA HA HA!
OF COURSE NOT.
LOTS OF KIDS HAVE
IMAGINARY FRIENDS.
THEY'RE
PERFECTLY NORMAL.
THEN WHY DIDN'T
I HAVE ONE?
NOT ALL KIDS DO.
USUALLY THEY SHOW UP
WHEN CHILDREN ARE
FEELING A LITTLE
NERVOUS OR ALONE.
THEY STICK AROUND
A WHILE
AND THEN LEAVE WHEN
THEIR USEFULNESS
HAS ENDED.
IMAGINARY FRIEND?
HARVEY IS LOOPED?
[ENGLISH ACCENT]
HE'S POTTY, GOVERNOR!
THE BOY'S GONE
ROUND THE BEND!
HE IS NOT! UNCLE QUIG
SAYS THEY SHOW UP
WHEN THEY'RE NEEDED.
HARVEY NEEDS HIM.
SO YOU'RE GONNA
MAGICALLY ARRANGE
A REUNION
BETWEEN HARVEY
AND MORT?
SOUNDS KIND OF FISHY.
[GULPS AND SLURPS]
MM-MMM!
IF ANYONE CAN YANK
HARVEY OUT OF HIS FUNK,
IT'S HIS GOOD OLD
IMAGINARY FRIEND.
HEY, WHERE'S
THE SPOOKY JAR?
ZELDA HID IT
FROM YOU.
WHY?
YOU HAVE TO ASK?
YOU'VE USED IT
ONE TOO MANY TIMES
FOR FRIVOLOUS
REASONS.
WHITENING
YOUR TEETH,
TYING YOUR SHOES,
CHANGING
THE CHANNELS.
WHAT? I COULDN'T FIND
THE REMOTE! WHERE IS IT?
NOTHING DOING, KID.
OF COURSE, THEY HAVE
ENTRUSTED MOI WITH
ITS SECRET LOCATION,
BUT BEING THE HIGHLY
TRUSTWORTHY GUARDIAN
THAT I AM--
I'LL SCRATCH YOUR BELLY.
IT'S UNDER THE SINK.
WHAT MAKES THEM THINK
I WOULDN'T HAVE LOOKED
UNDER THE SINK?
IT'S WEDGED BEHIND
THE CLEANING DETERGENT.
DIABOLICAL.
TIME TO RAISE
SOME SPIRITS.
AHEM! FIRST THINGS FIRST.
OHH. GOTTA STICK TO
MY END OF THE BARGAIN.
WHOA! YOU SAID
YOU'D SCRATCH ME,
NOT TICKLE ME!
TICKLE, TICKLE,
TICKLE! HA HA HA!
GEE, I HATE
TO INTERRUPT ALL
THE FUN AND FROLIC
AFTER SELFLESSLY
CREATING A SPELL
FOR YOU!
HERE I COME! SORRY!
HEH HEH HEH! OH!
SPELLS INSIDE,
I'M OUT OF TIME,
I CANNOT RECITE
TO YOU MY RHYME!
THANKS. I'LL MAKE IT
UP TO YOU.
HEY, HARV.
YOU KNOW,
I WAS THINKING.
I HEARD THAT IF YOU
SCREAMED SOMEONE'S
NAME 3 TIMES
AT THE TOP OF YOUR
LUNGS WHILE FLYING
THROUGH THE AIR
ON A SKATEBOARD
ON THURSDAYS
AT 4:29 P.M.
THAT THE PERSON'S
NAME YOU SCREAM
MAGICALLY APPEARS
IN FRONT OF YOU.
REALLY?
THAT'S WHAT
I'VE HEARD.
JACKIE CHAN, JACKIE CHAN,
JACKIE CHAN!
WELL, THAT DIDN'T WORK
VERY WELL.
NO! I WAS KIND OF
THINKING YOU COULD
ASK FOR MORT.
HEY, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!
BUT HE'S IMAGINARY.
SO?
SO I'M ALMOST A TEENAGER.
TEENAGERS DON'T HAVE
IMAGINARY FRIENDS.
WHO SAYS?
HMM.
PSYCHIATRISTS, I GUESS.
LOOK, I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING--
ACTUALLY, I GOT NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
HUMOR ME.
DO THE JUMP AND CALL
OUT FOR MORT.
MORT, MORT, MORT!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
OH!
YIPPEE! HA HA!
OH, WHOOPEE!
THAT WAS COOL!
SO, HARV, WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO FIRST?
SWALLOW LIVE GOLDFISH,
PAINT OUR BODIES
WITH MAYONNAISE,
EAT PASTE?
LET'S DO IT ALL!
YEAH, ALL RIGHT!
HA HA HA!
HEY!
YOU'RE WELCOME! HMMPH!
♪ DA DA DA DA ♪
DARLING, WE'RE GONNA DO
WONDERS WITH YOUR HAIR.
WE COULD DO IT UP
OR WE COULD DO IT DOWN,
SIDE TO SIDE
OR BACK TO FRONT.
WE'VE GOT YOUR POMPADOUR,
OR MY PERSONAL FAVORITE...
OH! AAH!
THE JEAN-LUC PICARD!
OH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
UGH!
EASY, HONEY.
DON'T THROW A TIZZY.
COULD YOU PLEASE
STOP THAT?!
FINE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
TELL ME 114 TIMES.
[WHISTLING]
OH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
NICE HAIR, SPELLMAN.
IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?
I'M SORRY, JEN,
BUT MY FRIEND MORT
IS SITTING HERE.
NO SAVIES, HARVEY.
I'M RICH. I'M ALLOWED
TO SIT ANYWHERE.
[GASPS]
[MORT'S VOICE]
WOW! THIS IS FREAKY!
LET'S HAVE SOME FUN
WITH HER, SHALL WE?
[REGULAR VOICE] HELLO,
STUDENTS OF GREENDALE.
I HAVE AN IMPORTANT
ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
I LIKE TO SNIFF MY ARMPITS
AND MAKE TEA WITH
DIRTY SOCKS.
[LAUGHTER]
MAKE HIM STOP!
THAT'S MEAN!
MORT, LAY OFF.
[GASPS]
WHAT? WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
SO, HARVEY, ARE YOU
FEELING A LITTLE
HAPPIER NOW?
YOU KNOW, SABS,
YOU WERE RIGHT.
I SHOULDN'T WORRY
ABOUT GROWING UP
AND STUFF.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT
MORT HAS HELPED YOU
GET PAST THIS DIFFICULT
HURDLE IN YOUR LIFE.
GET PAST? NO,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I SHOULDN'T WORRY
ABOUT GROWING UP BECAUSE
I DON'T HAVE TO.
WITH MORT HERE, I CAN
HAVE ALL THE FUN I WANT.
COME ON, MORT.
TIME FOR SCIENCE CLASS.
PHASERS LOCKED ON TARGET!
OH, YEAH. REALLY COOL.
AND WHO CAN TELL ME
WHAT THIS BONE IS?
THE TAILBONE?
THE TAILBONE!
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA!
MR. KINKLE, IS THERE
SOMETHING FUNNY?
NO, MR. CRAMPTON.
MR. CRAMPTON.
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
[SNICKERS]
OK, MR. KINKLE,
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
WHAT THIS BONE IS?
UM...THAT BONE
IS THE, UH, THE--
[WHISPERS]
OH, NOW I REMEMBER.
THAT'S THE TROMBONE.
[IMITATES BLOWING
ON TROMBONE]
[BOTH LAUGH]
IT'S A TROMBONE!
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA!
[SILENCE]
[LAUGHS
UNCOMFORTABLY]
UH...
MR. KINKLE, DID YOU READ
YOUR ASSIGNMENTS LAST NIGHT?
HEH! ACTUALLY, I, UH...
WELL, TO TELL YOU
THE TRUTH, UH...
[STUDENTS LAUGH]
HMMPH! OK, WHICH LITTLE
PRANKSTER WANTS DETENTION?
[STUDENTS GASP AND WHISPER]
♪ CHA CHA CHA
CHA CHA CHA ♪
♪ CHA CHA CHA
CHA CHA CHA ♪
[STUDENTS SCREAMING]
HA HA HA HA!
THAT WASN'T VERY FUNNY.
SOMEONE COULD HAVE
GOTTEN HURT.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
YOU'VE GOT COOTIES!
I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT!
WHATEVER THEY ARE.
COME ON, SABS,
LIGHTEN UP.
I'LL LIGHTEN UP WHEN YOU
GROW UP, HARVEY! HMMPH!
NOW, DON'T LOSE
YOUR HEAD OVER THIS.
GET IT?
"DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD"?
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HUH?
WAIT! WE'RE JUST
HAVING FUN, SABRINA!
I--I'M SORRY.
SO, WHAT'S NEXT?
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
ENGLISH.
ENGLISH? ENGLISH?!
YOUR ENGLISH
SOUNDS FINE TO ME.
LET'S GO HAVE SOME FUN.
I DON'T KNOW, MORT.
I THINK I BETTER
GO TO CLASS.
COME ON! IT'S ME--MORT!
YOUR BEST BUD IN THE WORLD!
I DARE YOU.
I DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZY DARE YOU!
[GASPS]
DID YOU SAY
DOUBLE-DOOZY PALOOZY?
JUST LIKE THE OLD DAYS.
WELL, I CAN'T BACK OUT
OF THE PALOOZY.
GUESS IT'S TIME
TO HAVE SOME FUN!
THERE! DONE!
LOOK, MORT, IT'S YOU!
THAT'S GREAT.
NOW CHECK OUT MINE.
COOL! THAT'S ME!
MORT, THAT'S NOT
PAINT, IS IT?
SURE IS! OH, WAIT!
FORGOT TO ADD YOUR NAME.
MORT, NO!
I'LL GET IN TROUBLE!
COME ON, MORT!
[WOMAN GASPS]
OOPS.
UH...
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
WHAT'S WITH
THE TOOTHBRUSH?
IT'S TO SCRUB THE WALL
CLEAN--AND I GOT
3 WEEKS' DETENTION!
HARVEY, MORT'S
A BIG 3 YEAR OLD.
IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.
HE'S HOLDING YOU BACK.
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
[GLASS SHATTERS]
Teacher: KINKLE!
THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
BROUGHT YOU BACK.
SABRINA, YOU'RE
KILLING ME HERE. OH!
SEE HOW PRETTILY I DIE?
I'M GOING
INTO THE LIGHT.
GRANDMA, IS THAT YOU?
[FOREIGN ACCENT]
I BURIED MORT.
OK, MORTIMER,
YOU'VE SERVED YOUR PURPOSE.
HARVEY'S OUT OF
HIS FUNK. I THINK IT'S
TIME FOR YOU TO GO.
GO WHERE?
WHEREVER.
I DON'T CARE.
YOU JUST HAVE TO GO!
BUT I DON'T WANNA GO!
HARVEY AND I ARE
HAVING FUN!
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?
[GROANS]
I'VE GOT SATURDAY
DETENTION?!
[LAUGHS]
FUN!
FUN?! ARE YOU
CRAZY?!
WE GET TO SPEND
THE ENTIRE DAY TOGETHER!
SABRINA, YOU WANT
TO COME, TOO?
OH, YEAH! SURE!
THAT'S HOW I WANT TO
SPEND MY SATURDAY AFTERNOON.
GREAT! LET ME
HELP YOU OUT!
BE RIGHT BACK.
THIS'LL JUST TAKE A SEC.
WHOA!
[RATTLES]
[CLATTER]
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
[GASPS]
WHOA!
GREAT! SEE
YOU IN DETENTION!
COME ON, HARV.
OH, HEY, I'VE GOT
A GREAT IDEA.
LET'S PLAY
"NAME THAT TUNE"
WITH ARMPIT NOISES!
THAT'S IT. I'VE GOT
TO GET RID OF HIM
ONCE AND FOR ALL!
UHH!
OH, IT'S SO GREAT
TO BE BACK.
YOU AND ME, HARV--
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!
NICE HAIR, "SMELLMAN."
UHH!
WELCOME TO
SATURDAY DETENTION.
HERE ARE THE RULES.
NO TALKING, NO WALKING,
NO STANDING,
NO STRETCHING,
NO FIDGETING.
NO RAISING OF HANDS,
NO ASKING OF QUESTIONS,
NO LAUGHING,
NO MOVING, NO READING,
NO LOOKING AT EACH
OTHER, NO SIGHING,
NO CRYING,
NO PITTER-PATTER,
NO CHITTER-CHATTER,
NO! NOTHING! NOW...
ANY QUESTIONS?
GOOD DAY,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
ENJOY YOUR SATURDAY.
UHH!
HMMPH!
WHAT A LOSER! SO, WHAT
DO YOU WANT TO DO, HUH?
OH, I GOT IT! LET'S HAVE
A DROOLING CONTEST!
NO, WAIT! LET'S PHOTOCOPY
OUR BELLYBUTTONS! NO, WAIT!
NO, WAIT! YOU'RE GONNA
GET US ALL IN TROUBLE AGAIN!
HARVEY, PLEASE
CONTROL YOUR FRIEND!
OH, NOW I SEE
WHAT'S HAPPENING!
IT'S A DOOZY-PA-"LOSER"
CONVENTION!
IT'S NOT FUNNY, MORT.
SABRINA'S MY FRIEND,
AND SHE'S RIGHT.
WE CAN'T KEEP BEHAVING
LIKE WE'RE KIDS.
BUT WE ARE KIDS!
GOO GOO!
SOME OF US
MORE THAN OTHERS.
LOOK, MORT, I THOUGHT
IT WAS GONNA BE HARD
TO MOVE ON,
DIFFICULT TO FACE
JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL,
BUT HAVING YOU AROUND
FOR THE LAST 24 HOURS,
I'VE REALIZED IT'S HARDER
TO GO BACK.
WHAT?! YOU DON'T
LIKE ME ANYMORE?
YOU WANT ME TO GO?
[SOBBING]
YOU'RE SEEING
ANOTHER FIGMENT?
MORT, DON'T CRY.
PLEASE, STOP!
[RUMBLING]
[GASPS]
LOOK, IT'S JUST...
AM I GONNA BE HAPPY
BEING 40
AND PUTTING WORMS
DOWN THE BACKS
OF PEOPLE'S SHIRTS?
SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN.
I KNOW YOU THINK
IT DOES, AND THAT'S
WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL.
THAT'S WHY YOU WERE
MY BEST FRIEND.
I JUST HAVE TO MOVE ON.
I JUST HAVE TO MOVE ON.
NO. I DO.
NO. I DO.
STOP IMITATING ME!
STOP IMITATING ME!
STOP IT!
STOP IT!
I THINK HE'S
TELLING YOU HE
WANTS YOU TO GO.
BUT WE'RE GONNA BE
TOGETHER FOREVER!
NO, MORT.
I'M SORRY.
COME ON.
DON'T STOP NOW.
LET'S HAVE SOME FUN!
ABSOLUTELY,
POSITIVELY NOT.
I DARE YOU! I CHALLENGE
YOU TO A DUEL OF DARES!
A DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZY DARE!
[GASPS] WELL, I GUESS
I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.
[GASPS] WILL YOU
EXCUSE US A MOMENT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HE WAS LEAVING.
LET HIM GO!
BUT I CAN'T!
HE DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZIED ME.
I KNOW, BUT WHEN ARE
YOU GOING TO GROW UP?
SABRINA, I CAN'T
BACK OUT OF A PALOOZY.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
LET'S GET IT ON!
HIT ME
WITH YOUR BEST SHOT.
AND IN THIS CORNER,
THE CHALLENGER,
WEARING PURPLE POLKA
DOTS AND WEIGHING IN
AT 1,854 POUNDS...
MORT!
AND IN THIS CORNER,
THE STORY'S PROTAGONIST
FROM GREENDALE MIDDLE
SCHOOL--HARVEY KINKLE!
WEIGHING IN AT...
A HEN-WEIGH.
WHAT'S A HEN-WEIGH?
OH, ABOUT
3 OR 4 POUNDS.
OK, HARV, ME FIRST.
YOUR DARE COMES
IN 2 PARTS.
THIS'LL BRING
THE OLD HARVEY BACK.
FIRST,
I DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZY DARE YOU
TO GO TO THE SCHOOL
LUNCH ROOM
AND GUZZLE THE
ENTIRE WEEK'S SUPPLY
OF CREAMED SPINACH.
NOT A PROBLEM.
[HARVEY EATING]
[SNICKERS]
[GASPS]
AHH! MISSION
ACCOMPLISHED.
THAT WAS EASY.
IS THAT ALL
YOU GOT?
PART 2--I DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZY DARE YOU TO...
KISS SABRINA.
ON THE LIPS!
HUH?
EW! NO!
DON'T MAKE ME
DO IT!
EW! NO! DON'T
MAKE HIM DO IT!
DOUBLE-DOOZY PALOOZY.
SABRINA,
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
THIS WILL ALL
BE OVER SOON.
[KISS]
YECCH! I'M GOING
TO HAVE NIGHTMARES.
OK, MORT,
PAYBACK TIME.
BRING IT ON!
I DARE YOU--I DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZY DARE YOU TO...
LET ME GROW UP.
WHAT?!
YOU MEAN--
YOU'VE BEEN AN IMPORTANT
PART OF MY LIFE.
I WOULDN'T TRADE
OUR PAST FOR ANYTHING.
IF YOU WERE
EVER MY FRIEND,
YOU'VE GOT TO
LET ME GO.
I UNDERSTAND...
BUT CAN I ASK YOU
A FAVOR FIRST?
ANYTHING.
CAN I HAVE A HUG
GOOD-BYE?
I'M GONNA MISS YOU,
LITTLE GUY.
[GASPS]
WH-WH-WHOA!
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT
WHOLE KISS THING.
I HOPE
IT WASN'T TOO BAD.
NO--I MEAN, YEAH,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT
BASEBALL AND IT WAS FINE.
A LITTLE CREAMED
SPINACH THERE,
BUT I GOT IT.
WELL, THANKS FOR
SHOWING ME THAT IT
WAS TIME TO MOVE ON.
NO PROBLEM. FRIEND?
FRIEND.
WELL, UH...BYE.
YEAH. BYE.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT
♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪
♪ STAND UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪
♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND
ACROBAT ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪
♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪
♪ COME HAVE A RIDE ♪
♪ GET HAPPY ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
HA HA!
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT
♪ DUM DE DUM DUM DUM ♪
♪ DA DA DA DA ♪
♪ DA DA DA DA ♪
♪ DA DA DA DA ♪
♪ DA DA DA DA... ♪
OH!
COMING THROUGH!
WHOA!
AAH!
OW!
UNH!
OH!
OH!
ALMOST THERE!
WHOA!
ALMOST THERE! WHOA!
NICE MOVES!
WHAT'S THE RUSH?
WHERE'S THE FIRE?
WHY THE HOOPLA?
HOOPLA?
WHO SAYS "HOOPLA?"
JUST THOUGHT I'D TRY
SOMETHING NEW.
WHY ARE YOU
IN SUCH A HURRY?
AMERICA'S FAVORITE
CARTOON BEAVER
BILLY GO-BOOM-BOOM!
TODAY IS THE 500th
EPISODE OF THE BEST
CARTOON EVER!
AND IT STARTS
IN 29 MINUTES.
HARV, I'D REALLY
APPRECIATE
YOU HELPING ME
HOME WITH MY BOOKS--
[HARVEY ROLLING AWAY
ON SKATEBOARD]
BUT I DON'T NEED
ANY HELP.
BUT THANKS FOR ASKING!
TV Announcer: STAY TUNED!
HEY, HARVEY,
I LOST YOU AT SCHOOL.
OH, YEAH, SORRY.
I WANTED TO GET
HOME IN TIME.
33 SECONDS.
JUST ENOUGH TIME
FOR SOME BILLY
GO-BOOM-BOOM TRIVIA.
ASK ME ANYTHING.
UH, HARV,
WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH
ABOUT BILLY GO-BOOM-BOOM?
WHY DO I CARE?
SABRINA, BILLY IS
MORE THAN A CARTOON.
BILLY IS MY LIFE.
I COUNT ON BILLY.
HE SYMBOLIZES
THE CHILD INSIDE
ALL OF US.
UH, SORRY.
NO MORE TIME.
IT'S T-MINUS BILLY.
HA HA HA!
HI, KIDS! IT'S ME!
YOUR OLD PAL PUMICE
THE CLOWN, AND THIS IS
THE PUMICE THE CLOWN
CARTOON CAVALCADE!
NOW THAT BILLY GO-BOOM-BOOM
HAS BEEN CANCELLED,
WE'RE SUPER-DUPER PROUD
TO PRESENT OUR NEW SHOW--
OH!
[CLUCKS LIKE CHICKEN]
TRUDY THE TROMBONE CHICKEN!
HA HA HA!
WHAT?! THIS CAN'T
BE RIGHT!
CHICKENS CAN'T PLAY
TROMBONES!
THEY DON'T
HAVE LIPS!
HARVEY, RELAX.
WHAT ABOUT BILLY?
THEY CANCELLED
BILLY!
HARVEY, YOU OK?
HARV? BUD,
YOU'VE GOTTA SNAP
OUT OF THIS FUNK.
WHAT'S WRONG?
MID-LIFE CRISIS.
HARVEY, YOU'RE 12.
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT
BILLY WAS GONNA
BE THERE FOREVER.
YOU KNOW WHAT
THIS MEANS, DON'T YOU?
UM, UH...NEW SHEETS?
NO. GOOD-BYE, YOUTH.
I MEAN,
SOON WE'LL BE MOVING
INTO A NEW STAGE
OF OUR LIVES.
JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL
IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER.
AND ONCE WE TURN
THAT CORNER,
WE WON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THE COOL
FUN STUFF
THAT I LIKE TO DO.
LIKE WHAT?
PUTTING PEANUT BUTTER
INSIDE PEOPLE'S
GYM SOCKS.
BELCHING THE MELODIES
OF NEW WAVE HITS
OF THE EIGHTIES.
ONE DAY YOU'RE
PUTTING YOUR TEETH
UNDER YOUR PILLOW
FOR THE TOOTH FAIRY,
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
PUTTING THEM
IN A GLASS BY YOUR BED.
OHH. WHAT'S THIS,
DRAMA KING?
MEMENTOS
OF MY YOUTH.
PU-LEASE!
SEE THIS? MY TOENAIL.
IT FELL OFF THE TIME
I KICKED A SOCCER BALL
TOO HARD,
BUT I MADE IT THROUGH.
AND THIS, A WAD OF GUM
THAT ZACK TUPPER
SMUSHED INTO MY HAIR,
BUT I MADE IT THROUGH.
WHAT'S THIS?
OH, THAT'S MORT,
MY OLD IMAGINARY FRIEND.
HE'S THE ONE WHO HELPED
ME MAKE IT THROUGH.
YOU HAD
AN IMAGINARY FRIEND?
LIKE ONE YOU TALKED TO?
YEAH! MORT GOT ME
THROUGH
ALL THE MILESTONES
IN MY LIFE.
POTTY TRAINING,
THAT FIRST CO-ED
BIRTHDAY PARTY,
THE REALIZATION
THAT MY PARENTS
WERE ACTUALLY
ALIEN CANNIBALS
IN DISGUISE.
HUH?!
LUCKILY
THAT LAST ONE
TURNED OUT TO BE
A FALSE ALARM.
AND DID MORT TALK BACK?
YEP. MORT WAS
THE BEST.
UNTIL I WOKE UP
ONE MORNING
AND HE WAS GONE.
DISAPPEARED.
SOMETIMES I WISH
WITH ALL MY HEART
THAT GOOD OLD MORT
WOULD COME BACK
AND HELP ME
GET THROUGH
TIMES LIKE THESE.
HEY, UNC! GOING
MY WAY, RACER X?
HOP ON.
UNCLE QUIGLEY,
HARVEY SAYS
HE USED TO HAVE
AN IMAGINARY FRIEND.
SO?
SO WHAT'S THE DEAL?
IS HE NUTS OR WHAT?
HA HA HA!
OF COURSE NOT.
LOTS OF KIDS HAVE
IMAGINARY FRIENDS.
THEY'RE
PERFECTLY NORMAL.
THEN WHY DIDN'T
I HAVE ONE?
NOT ALL KIDS DO.
USUALLY THEY SHOW UP
WHEN CHILDREN ARE
FEELING A LITTLE
NERVOUS OR ALONE.
THEY STICK AROUND
A WHILE
AND THEN LEAVE WHEN
THEIR USEFULNESS
HAS ENDED.
IMAGINARY FRIEND?
HARVEY IS LOOPED?
[ENGLISH ACCENT]
HE'S POTTY, GOVERNOR!
THE BOY'S GONE
ROUND THE BEND!
HE IS NOT! UNCLE QUIG
SAYS THEY SHOW UP
WHEN THEY'RE NEEDED.
HARVEY NEEDS HIM.
SO YOU'RE GONNA
MAGICALLY ARRANGE
A REUNION
BETWEEN HARVEY
AND MORT?
SOUNDS KIND OF FISHY.
[GULPS AND SLURPS]
MM-MMM!
IF ANYONE CAN YANK
HARVEY OUT OF HIS FUNK,
IT'S HIS GOOD OLD
IMAGINARY FRIEND.
HEY, WHERE'S
THE SPOOKY JAR?
ZELDA HID IT
FROM YOU.
WHY?
YOU HAVE TO ASK?
YOU'VE USED IT
ONE TOO MANY TIMES
FOR FRIVOLOUS
REASONS.
WHITENING
YOUR TEETH,
TYING YOUR SHOES,
CHANGING
THE CHANNELS.
WHAT? I COULDN'T FIND
THE REMOTE! WHERE IS IT?
NOTHING DOING, KID.
OF COURSE, THEY HAVE
ENTRUSTED MOI WITH
ITS SECRET LOCATION,
BUT BEING THE HIGHLY
TRUSTWORTHY GUARDIAN
THAT I AM--
I'LL SCRATCH YOUR BELLY.
IT'S UNDER THE SINK.
WHAT MAKES THEM THINK
I WOULDN'T HAVE LOOKED
UNDER THE SINK?
IT'S WEDGED BEHIND
THE CLEANING DETERGENT.
DIABOLICAL.
TIME TO RAISE
SOME SPIRITS.
AHEM! FIRST THINGS FIRST.
OHH. GOTTA STICK TO
MY END OF THE BARGAIN.
WHOA! YOU SAID
YOU'D SCRATCH ME,
NOT TICKLE ME!
TICKLE, TICKLE,
TICKLE! HA HA HA!
GEE, I HATE
TO INTERRUPT ALL
THE FUN AND FROLIC
AFTER SELFLESSLY
CREATING A SPELL
FOR YOU!
HERE I COME! SORRY!
HEH HEH HEH! OH!
SPELLS INSIDE,
I'M OUT OF TIME,
I CANNOT RECITE
TO YOU MY RHYME!
THANKS. I'LL MAKE IT
UP TO YOU.
HEY, HARV.
YOU KNOW,
I WAS THINKING.
I HEARD THAT IF YOU
SCREAMED SOMEONE'S
NAME 3 TIMES
AT THE TOP OF YOUR
LUNGS WHILE FLYING
THROUGH THE AIR
ON A SKATEBOARD
ON THURSDAYS
AT 4:29 P.M.
THAT THE PERSON'S
NAME YOU SCREAM
MAGICALLY APPEARS
IN FRONT OF YOU.
REALLY?
THAT'S WHAT
I'VE HEARD.
JACKIE CHAN, JACKIE CHAN,
JACKIE CHAN!
WELL, THAT DIDN'T WORK
VERY WELL.
NO! I WAS KIND OF
THINKING YOU COULD
ASK FOR MORT.
HEY, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!
BUT HE'S IMAGINARY.
SO?
SO I'M ALMOST A TEENAGER.
TEENAGERS DON'T HAVE
IMAGINARY FRIENDS.
WHO SAYS?
HMM.
PSYCHIATRISTS, I GUESS.
LOOK, I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE DOING--
ACTUALLY, I GOT NO IDEA
WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
HUMOR ME.
DO THE JUMP AND CALL
OUT FOR MORT.
MORT, MORT, MORT!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
OH!
YIPPEE! HA HA!
OH, WHOOPEE!
THAT WAS COOL!
SO, HARV, WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO FIRST?
SWALLOW LIVE GOLDFISH,
PAINT OUR BODIES
WITH MAYONNAISE,
EAT PASTE?
LET'S DO IT ALL!
YEAH, ALL RIGHT!
HA HA HA!
HEY!
YOU'RE WELCOME! HMMPH!
♪ DA DA DA DA ♪
DARLING, WE'RE GONNA DO
WONDERS WITH YOUR HAIR.
WE COULD DO IT UP
OR WE COULD DO IT DOWN,
SIDE TO SIDE
OR BACK TO FRONT.
WE'VE GOT YOUR POMPADOUR,
OR MY PERSONAL FAVORITE...
OH! AAH!
THE JEAN-LUC PICARD!
OH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
UGH!
EASY, HONEY.
DON'T THROW A TIZZY.
COULD YOU PLEASE
STOP THAT?!
FINE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO
TELL ME 114 TIMES.
[WHISTLING]
OH!
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
NICE HAIR, SPELLMAN.
IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?
I'M SORRY, JEN,
BUT MY FRIEND MORT
IS SITTING HERE.
NO SAVIES, HARVEY.
I'M RICH. I'M ALLOWED
TO SIT ANYWHERE.
[GASPS]
[MORT'S VOICE]
WOW! THIS IS FREAKY!
LET'S HAVE SOME FUN
WITH HER, SHALL WE?
[REGULAR VOICE] HELLO,
STUDENTS OF GREENDALE.
I HAVE AN IMPORTANT
ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
I LIKE TO SNIFF MY ARMPITS
AND MAKE TEA WITH
DIRTY SOCKS.
[LAUGHTER]
MAKE HIM STOP!
THAT'S MEAN!
MORT, LAY OFF.
[GASPS]
WHAT? WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
SO, HARVEY, ARE YOU
FEELING A LITTLE
HAPPIER NOW?
YOU KNOW, SABS,
YOU WERE RIGHT.
I SHOULDN'T WORRY
ABOUT GROWING UP
AND STUFF.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT
MORT HAS HELPED YOU
GET PAST THIS DIFFICULT
HURDLE IN YOUR LIFE.
GET PAST? NO,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I SHOULDN'T WORRY
ABOUT GROWING UP BECAUSE
I DON'T HAVE TO.
WITH MORT HERE, I CAN
HAVE ALL THE FUN I WANT.
COME ON, MORT.
TIME FOR SCIENCE CLASS.
PHASERS LOCKED ON TARGET!
OH, YEAH. REALLY COOL.
AND WHO CAN TELL ME
WHAT THIS BONE IS?
THE TAILBONE?
THE TAILBONE!
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA!
MR. KINKLE, IS THERE
SOMETHING FUNNY?
NO, MR. CRAMPTON.
MR. CRAMPTON.
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA!
[SNICKERS]
OK, MR. KINKLE,
WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
WHAT THIS BONE IS?
UM...THAT BONE
IS THE, UH, THE--
[WHISPERS]
OH, NOW I REMEMBER.
THAT'S THE TROMBONE.
[IMITATES BLOWING
ON TROMBONE]
[BOTH LAUGH]
IT'S A TROMBONE!
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA!
[SILENCE]
[LAUGHS
UNCOMFORTABLY]
UH...
MR. KINKLE, DID YOU READ
YOUR ASSIGNMENTS LAST NIGHT?
HEH! ACTUALLY, I, UH...
WELL, TO TELL YOU
THE TRUTH, UH...
[STUDENTS LAUGH]
HMMPH! OK, WHICH LITTLE
PRANKSTER WANTS DETENTION?
[STUDENTS GASP AND WHISPER]
♪ CHA CHA CHA
CHA CHA CHA ♪
♪ CHA CHA CHA
CHA CHA CHA ♪
[STUDENTS SCREAMING]
HA HA HA HA!
THAT WASN'T VERY FUNNY.
SOMEONE COULD HAVE
GOTTEN HURT.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
YOU'VE GOT COOTIES!
I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT!
WHATEVER THEY ARE.
COME ON, SABS,
LIGHTEN UP.
I'LL LIGHTEN UP WHEN YOU
GROW UP, HARVEY! HMMPH!
NOW, DON'T LOSE
YOUR HEAD OVER THIS.
GET IT?
"DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD"?
HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HUH?
WAIT! WE'RE JUST
HAVING FUN, SABRINA!
I--I'M SORRY.
SO, WHAT'S NEXT?
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
ENGLISH.
ENGLISH? ENGLISH?!
YOUR ENGLISH
SOUNDS FINE TO ME.
LET'S GO HAVE SOME FUN.
I DON'T KNOW, MORT.
I THINK I BETTER
GO TO CLASS.
COME ON! IT'S ME--MORT!
YOUR BEST BUD IN THE WORLD!
I DARE YOU.
I DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZY DARE YOU!
[GASPS]
DID YOU SAY
DOUBLE-DOOZY PALOOZY?
JUST LIKE THE OLD DAYS.
WELL, I CAN'T BACK OUT
OF THE PALOOZY.
GUESS IT'S TIME
TO HAVE SOME FUN!
THERE! DONE!
LOOK, MORT, IT'S YOU!
THAT'S GREAT.
NOW CHECK OUT MINE.
COOL! THAT'S ME!
MORT, THAT'S NOT
PAINT, IS IT?
SURE IS! OH, WAIT!
FORGOT TO ADD YOUR NAME.
MORT, NO!
I'LL GET IN TROUBLE!
COME ON, MORT!
[WOMAN GASPS]
OOPS.
UH...
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
WHAT'S WITH
THE TOOTHBRUSH?
IT'S TO SCRUB THE WALL
CLEAN--AND I GOT
3 WEEKS' DETENTION!
HARVEY, MORT'S
A BIG 3 YEAR OLD.
IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON.
HE'S HOLDING YOU BACK.
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?
[GLASS SHATTERS]
Teacher: KINKLE!
THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.
I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
BROUGHT YOU BACK.
SABRINA, YOU'RE
KILLING ME HERE. OH!
SEE HOW PRETTILY I DIE?
I'M GOING
INTO THE LIGHT.
GRANDMA, IS THAT YOU?
[FOREIGN ACCENT]
I BURIED MORT.
OK, MORTIMER,
YOU'VE SERVED YOUR PURPOSE.
HARVEY'S OUT OF
HIS FUNK. I THINK IT'S
TIME FOR YOU TO GO.
GO WHERE?
WHEREVER.
I DON'T CARE.
YOU JUST HAVE TO GO!
BUT I DON'T WANNA GO!
HARVEY AND I ARE
HAVING FUN!
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?
[GROANS]
I'VE GOT SATURDAY
DETENTION?!
[LAUGHS]
FUN!
FUN?! ARE YOU
CRAZY?!
WE GET TO SPEND
THE ENTIRE DAY TOGETHER!
SABRINA, YOU WANT
TO COME, TOO?
OH, YEAH! SURE!
THAT'S HOW I WANT TO
SPEND MY SATURDAY AFTERNOON.
GREAT! LET ME
HELP YOU OUT!
BE RIGHT BACK.
THIS'LL JUST TAKE A SEC.
WHOA!
[RATTLES]
[CLATTER]
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
[GASPS]
WHOA!
GREAT! SEE
YOU IN DETENTION!
COME ON, HARV.
OH, HEY, I'VE GOT
A GREAT IDEA.
LET'S PLAY
"NAME THAT TUNE"
WITH ARMPIT NOISES!
THAT'S IT. I'VE GOT
TO GET RID OF HIM
ONCE AND FOR ALL!
UHH!
OH, IT'S SO GREAT
TO BE BACK.
YOU AND ME, HARV--
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!
NICE HAIR, "SMELLMAN."
UHH!
WELCOME TO
SATURDAY DETENTION.
HERE ARE THE RULES.
NO TALKING, NO WALKING,
NO STANDING,
NO STRETCHING,
NO FIDGETING.
NO RAISING OF HANDS,
NO ASKING OF QUESTIONS,
NO LAUGHING,
NO MOVING, NO READING,
NO LOOKING AT EACH
OTHER, NO SIGHING,
NO CRYING,
NO PITTER-PATTER,
NO CHITTER-CHATTER,
NO! NOTHING! NOW...
ANY QUESTIONS?
GOOD DAY,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
ENJOY YOUR SATURDAY.
UHH!
HMMPH!
WHAT A LOSER! SO, WHAT
DO YOU WANT TO DO, HUH?
OH, I GOT IT! LET'S HAVE
A DROOLING CONTEST!
NO, WAIT! LET'S PHOTOCOPY
OUR BELLYBUTTONS! NO, WAIT!
NO, WAIT! YOU'RE GONNA
GET US ALL IN TROUBLE AGAIN!
HARVEY, PLEASE
CONTROL YOUR FRIEND!
OH, NOW I SEE
WHAT'S HAPPENING!
IT'S A DOOZY-PA-"LOSER"
CONVENTION!
IT'S NOT FUNNY, MORT.
SABRINA'S MY FRIEND,
AND SHE'S RIGHT.
WE CAN'T KEEP BEHAVING
LIKE WE'RE KIDS.
BUT WE ARE KIDS!
GOO GOO!
SOME OF US
MORE THAN OTHERS.
LOOK, MORT, I THOUGHT
IT WAS GONNA BE HARD
TO MOVE ON,
DIFFICULT TO FACE
JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL,
BUT HAVING YOU AROUND
FOR THE LAST 24 HOURS,
I'VE REALIZED IT'S HARDER
TO GO BACK.
WHAT?! YOU DON'T
LIKE ME ANYMORE?
YOU WANT ME TO GO?
[SOBBING]
YOU'RE SEEING
ANOTHER FIGMENT?
MORT, DON'T CRY.
PLEASE, STOP!
[RUMBLING]
[GASPS]
LOOK, IT'S JUST...
AM I GONNA BE HAPPY
BEING 40
AND PUTTING WORMS
DOWN THE BACKS
OF PEOPLE'S SHIRTS?
SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN.
I KNOW YOU THINK
IT DOES, AND THAT'S
WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL.
THAT'S WHY YOU WERE
MY BEST FRIEND.
I JUST HAVE TO MOVE ON.
I JUST HAVE TO MOVE ON.
NO. I DO.
NO. I DO.
STOP IMITATING ME!
STOP IMITATING ME!
STOP IT!
STOP IT!
I THINK HE'S
TELLING YOU HE
WANTS YOU TO GO.
BUT WE'RE GONNA BE
TOGETHER FOREVER!
NO, MORT.
I'M SORRY.
COME ON.
DON'T STOP NOW.
LET'S HAVE SOME FUN!
ABSOLUTELY,
POSITIVELY NOT.
I DARE YOU! I CHALLENGE
YOU TO A DUEL OF DARES!
A DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZY DARE!
[GASPS] WELL, I GUESS
I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.
[GASPS] WILL YOU
EXCUSE US A MOMENT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HE WAS LEAVING.
LET HIM GO!
BUT I CAN'T!
HE DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZIED ME.
I KNOW, BUT WHEN ARE
YOU GOING TO GROW UP?
SABRINA, I CAN'T
BACK OUT OF A PALOOZY.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
LET'S GET IT ON!
HIT ME
WITH YOUR BEST SHOT.
AND IN THIS CORNER,
THE CHALLENGER,
WEARING PURPLE POLKA
DOTS AND WEIGHING IN
AT 1,854 POUNDS...
MORT!
AND IN THIS CORNER,
THE STORY'S PROTAGONIST
FROM GREENDALE MIDDLE
SCHOOL--HARVEY KINKLE!
WEIGHING IN AT...
A HEN-WEIGH.
WHAT'S A HEN-WEIGH?
OH, ABOUT
3 OR 4 POUNDS.
OK, HARV, ME FIRST.
YOUR DARE COMES
IN 2 PARTS.
THIS'LL BRING
THE OLD HARVEY BACK.
FIRST,
I DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZY DARE YOU
TO GO TO THE SCHOOL
LUNCH ROOM
AND GUZZLE THE
ENTIRE WEEK'S SUPPLY
OF CREAMED SPINACH.
NOT A PROBLEM.
[HARVEY EATING]
[SNICKERS]
[GASPS]
AHH! MISSION
ACCOMPLISHED.
THAT WAS EASY.
IS THAT ALL
YOU GOT?
PART 2--I DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZY DARE YOU TO...
KISS SABRINA.
ON THE LIPS!
HUH?
EW! NO!
DON'T MAKE ME
DO IT!
EW! NO! DON'T
MAKE HIM DO IT!
DOUBLE-DOOZY PALOOZY.
SABRINA,
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
THIS WILL ALL
BE OVER SOON.
[KISS]
YECCH! I'M GOING
TO HAVE NIGHTMARES.
OK, MORT,
PAYBACK TIME.
BRING IT ON!
I DARE YOU--I DOUBLE-DOOZY
PALOOZY DARE YOU TO...
LET ME GROW UP.
WHAT?!
YOU MEAN--
YOU'VE BEEN AN IMPORTANT
PART OF MY LIFE.
I WOULDN'T TRADE
OUR PAST FOR ANYTHING.
IF YOU WERE
EVER MY FRIEND,
YOU'VE GOT TO
LET ME GO.
I UNDERSTAND...
BUT CAN I ASK YOU
A FAVOR FIRST?
ANYTHING.
CAN I HAVE A HUG
GOOD-BYE?
I'M GONNA MISS YOU,
LITTLE GUY.
[GASPS]
WH-WH-WHOA!
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT
WHOLE KISS THING.
I HOPE
IT WASN'T TOO BAD.
NO--I MEAN, YEAH,
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT
BASEBALL AND IT WAS FINE.
A LITTLE CREAMED
SPINACH THERE,
BUT I GOT IT.
WELL, THANKS FOR
SHOWING ME THAT IT
WAS TIME TO MOVE ON.
NO PROBLEM. FRIEND?
FRIEND.
WELL, UH...BYE.
YEAH. BYE.
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