Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Senses-Shattering Adventures of Captain Harvtastic - full transcript

Harvey lacks the courage to show his comic book to the great comic book creator, King Kirby. Sabrina decides to give Harvey a Wishing Star in hopes that he'll wish for courage. But when Harvey's wish comes true he, Sabrina and Salem are suddenly thrust into his comic world. That wasn't quite what Sabrina had in mind. Now as Captain Harvtastic, with Sabrina and Salem in tow they must fight the evil Dysphillia before the comic world is erased and they get erased along with it!

Now, remember, class,
these are action paintings.

I wanna feel active movement,
force, dynamic energy.

Very nice, Sabrina.

Thanks, Mr. Laird.

Ooh, a kangaroo.

What are you, Spellman, 4 years old?

Check out my creation
and see how the big kids paint.

Ah!

Uh, I don't know, Gem.

This painting doesn't seem
very active to me.

What?



Huh?

How's it going, Harv?

Hey, now, that's really good.

It's just a dumb character
I doodle sometimes.

Captain Harvtastic.

I've been writing some stories, too.

You drew this whole comic book?

Harv, you are one mysterious dude!

I didn't know you were
such a good comic-book artist.

Neither did I.

Yeah. But I don't draw hands very well,
and my coloring's sloppy.

-And the lettering....
-Nonsense!

This is wonderful work!
You know, I still read comic books.

- You do?
Mm-hm.



As a matter of fact, there's a comic-book
convention this weekend...

...at the civic center.
With a very special guest.

King Kirby? He's my all-time favorite
comic-book artist!

He created Sergeant Asphalt,
Jerry Smasher.

Kornak the Hunted,
the Incredible Earth Force!

King Kirby sponsors a training program
for young comic-book artists.

I think the program would be a perfect way
for you to nurture that talent of yours.

Me? Take lessons
from King Kirby? Sweet!

All you'd have to do is show
King Kirby your comic-book drawings.

Show him? Like in front of people?

Well, of course!

Mr. Kirby will be evaluating portfolios
at the convention.

-It's your audition to get into the program.
-But what if he hates it?

What if he loves it?

Yeah, well, thanks, Mr. Laird.

But showing my stuff
to the world's greatest comic-book artist...

...will take a whole lot of courage
that I'm afraid I just don't have.

Sorry.

Sabrina, is everything okay?

Yeah, kiddo, what's on your mind?

Harvey. He's a really
talented comic-book artist...

...but he's the only one
who doesn't think so.

Yes. We artistes are an insecure breed.

I paint. That's one of mine.

Anyway, there's this art school
run by this famous comic-book artist guy.

But before he can get in, Harvey would
have to show him his comic book.

Ohh! Pressure pushing down on me.

Harvey's coming over soon to watch
America's Coolest Practical Jokes.

And I'm trying to figure out a way to give
him the courage he needs to go for it.

Be a good friend, Sabrina.

But don't try to solve
every problem in your life with magic.

-Isn't that right, Hilda?
-Ugh! My hair is a harpy's nest!

-Isn't that right, Hilda?
-Huh?

Oh! Yeah, right. No magic.

Ugh!

Well, girls, the good news is,
your dates are here.

The bad news is,
they appear to be dead.

The Zombie brothers!

They really are adorable.

If you don't mind an occasional body part
falling into the soup.

Bob, I love your new nose!

Thought they'd never leave.

Now, what do you say we crack
out the hoodoo helper?

You heard Zelda. No magic!

Heh, oh, Sabrina, Sabrina.

Why must we play the game?

I'll say, "Don't you wanna help Harvey?"

Then you'll say, "But Zelda said!"

Then I'll say,
"You're just helping out a friend."

Then you'll say, "Oh, gee. Should I?"

-Then I'll say--
-All right! I'll do it!

Another one bites the dust.

-What is this thing?
-It's a wishing rod.

Aah!

Not a fishing rod, a wishing rod.
Come on!

Go on, let her rip!

Like this?

Ooh-ee, dogie!

Opie, we gonna catch us a wishing star.

Mm-hm!

Easy now.
They like to play with your head.

Oh, boy! I think you got a big one!

Reel it in! There you go!

Aww! It's so cute!

Now Harvey can wish for the courage
to show his comic book to King Kirby.

Problem solved.

Whoa! Unh!

I'm so glad to see you!
Now, have a seat!

I've got a little surprise for you.

Somebody's gotta lay off
the sugar cereal.

Whoever blows out this candle
shall get his fondest wish granted.

Maybe I should show you
to King Kirby.

No, who am I kidding?

My comic book's a joke.

If anyone saw this,
they'd just laugh in my face.

Okay, Harv, now you'll get
the courage you need.

What's this?
My birthday was last month.

It's your, um....

Thirty-day birthday booster!
Make a wish!

What should I wish for?

What to wish for?
Okay, for example--

And I'm just making this up.

--let's say someone had to show
something to some famous person...

...but something was getting in the way.

It's possible,
if someone wished hard enough...

...it could actually happen.
Know what I mean?

Uh, I-- I guess.

Great. Just make a wish
and keep it small.

Small wish. Gotcha.

Okay, here goes.

Harvey, what did you wish for?

Harvey, what did you wish for?

Must hold on.

Can't hold on.

Wish I had my...

...thumbs back.

Harvey! What did you wish for?

This is what you call a small wish?

Whoa! How'd we get here?

Funny story. See, you were going
to the kitchen, and you tripped over the--

Whee! Ha, ha! I can fly!

And then--

- Oh, never mind.
- Look at me!

It's like we're inside my imagination!
Woo-hoo!

Big ups on the special effects.

Now kindly get us out of here!

Chill out, Salem. I haven't seen Harvey
this happy in weeks.

We'll let everything happen
the way it does in his comic book...

-...and then we can all go home.
-Sabrina, what do you think of my city?

Harvbucks Coffee, Harvo Shack?

Planet Harveywood?
This is your kind of town.

Would you like to see a senses-stunning
demonstration of my superpowers?

-Knock yourself out.
-This is my Harvionic Plasma Inker.

Don't blink.

-Yeehaw!
-Wow.

Say, I was just wondering, Cap...

...who am I supposed to be?

You are Calamari Queen.
Go ahead. Unleash your superpowers.

Ten years at the Actors Studio,
and I'm still playing squids.

Sheesh!

I was going to give you
more radical powers in the next issue.

Sorry. The whole squid thing
seemed like a good idea.

Squids, also known
as the phylum mollusca...

...the subgenus cephalopoda...

...and most delicious with marinara
and a twist of lemon.

Permit me to introduce myself.

I am Perfecto, Pooch of Power!

Come on, Harv. A talking dog?

Sheesh. Whenever writers
get hard up for ideas...

...they throw in a smart-aleck
talking animal. Pathetic.

Yeah. I guess it is dumb.

-Not half as dumb as that hat.
-Hat? What's he talking about?

Gah!

When was someone
gonna mention the...

-...hat?
-Salem's right, isn't he?

My ideas are stupid.
My costumes are stupid.

It's a good thing that I didn't show
all this garbage to King Kirby.

Don't say that. I think
your comic-book world is killer.

But you hate your powers. You said--

Hate my powers? Are you kidding?

Ha, ha! Nothing says high adventure
like fresh squid.

Does anybody smell
something gross?

Like stinky feet?

Whoa!

Sabrina?

What did I tell that girl about leaving
her things in the living room?

Whoa!

Ah, the experts were right.
Comic books do rot your brain.

Oops! Hope I didn't step
on anyone's toes. Ha-ha-ha!

Quake in fear, heroes...

-...for I am--
-We know who you are, Shoehorn.

Once a genius shoe designer,
his mind and body were mutated...

...when he fell into a vat
of radioactive shoe polish.

Enough clumsy back story.

I think you'll get a kick
out of my latest creation:

A comfy new pair of crush puppies!

Once size eats all! Ha-ha-ha!

Cripes!

-Salem! Whoa!
-Aah!

Way to go, Cap.

Uh-oh.

How about something dressy?

Try playing footsie with my spikies!

Aah!

- We can't handle this shoe nut alone.
- You're not alone! We're here!

I am Mega Girl!

And her faithful sidekick
Gazebo Boy! Yeah.

What are Gem and Pi doing here?

I guess Harvey patterns all his heroes
after people he knows.

The Do-Gooder Duo! Finally!

It's about time you guys showed up.

We would've been here earlier
if someone had remembered...

...to draw a door
on our secret headquarters.

Oh, sorry.
I'll get that fixed. Promise.

I could've run a lot faster
if you hadn't drawn my feet so small.

He can't draw hands, either.

What kind of artist are you anyway?

I-- I guess I wasn't thinking.

Man, Harvey's superheroes
sure are crabby.

Maybe their tights are chafing.

Excuse me! Evil super genius
wants a little attention here.

-Thank you. Prepare to die, heroes!
-As if, shoe head.

Shoehorn! Did--? See my horns?

-They're shoes.
-Ugh, whatever.

It's still a dumb name.

Atomic tantrum power, activate!

I hate super evil-doers!

Huh! Huh?

Gazebo Boy will finish the job!

-Gazebo power now!
-Aah. Aah!

He turns into a gazebo.
Well, that's different.

Oh, look. He's even
got a little bench in there.

Your paltry gazebo talent
is no match for my Rock Martins!

Thanks for
the crummy superpower, Harv.

I'm sorry. It was the best I could think of.

I mean, everybody likes gazebos.
Don't they?

You think you've got problems,
Gazebo Boy?

Try getting people
to take you seriously...

...with a couple of loafers
poking out of your head.

Please! What about my stupid
tantrum power?

That's about as cool as the super ability
to spit in rainbow colors.

And look how poorly I'm drawn.

My jaw is impossibly square.

It looks like the rear end of a microbus.

It's all Harvey's fault!

He created a second-rate
comic-book world...

...filled with
bargain-basement superheroes.

I'm tired of fighting you two.
Anybody for pizza?

Anything's better than hanging out
with Captain Dorktastic.

Guys? You can't just leave to eat pizza
with the supervillain.

We're supposed to capture him
and find out who he's working for.

You want to know who I'm working for?
Your own worst enemy.

My own worst enemy? Captain Cootie?

The Haberdasher of Evil?
Detention Dan?

Those costumed fools? Ha!

No. Your true foe
is the Dreaded Dysphilia!

The Dreaded Dysphilia?
Never heard of him.

The Dysphilia is close to you,
Captain Harvtastic.

Closer than you may think.

And if you lack the courage
to conquer the Dysphilia...

...it will destroy this world
and everybody in it.

Beware! Well, I guess it's pizza time.

What's the dealia with that?

I don't know, but that Dysphilia thing
sounds like one bad mamma-jamma.

I can't believe it.
My own superheroes turned on me.

What kind of a high-grade
loser am I?

Harvey-- I mean, Captain,
you are not a loser.

Now let's focus and figure out
where this Dysphilia thing is.

Oh, let me guess.

Could it be that disgustingly gross
fungus wart erasing everything in its path?

Someone tell me
this is not happening.

Harvey, look, you created the Dysphilia.

You can destroy it.
And then we can all go home, see?

-There's no reason to panic.
-It wasn't in my comic book.

-Excuse me?
-I didn't make up that Dysphilia thing.

I don't know how to destroy it.

But if that monster erases
the comic-book world....

We'll get erased, too.

What is this place?

My Citadel of Calmitude.

A place for a weary superhero
to hide from the world.

Well, we can't just sit here while
the Dysphilia devours everything!

- Boo.
- Yipe! Ow!

You want to stop cowering
and help us think?

I wasn't cowering. I was meditating.

It's the Harv alert.
The Dysphilia's heading this way!

Harvey, this is your world.
We have to fight for it!

Why bother? Gazebo Boy and Mega Girl
and Shoehorn were right.

I'm a gigantic failure.
Who am I kidding?

Pretending to be an artist,
pretending to be a superhero? I'm a joke.

The Dysphilia can eat
my entire comic book for all I care.

Ha-ha-ha. Oh, yes.

-You find something funny in all this?
-Oh, I was just musing to myself.

It isn't often you hear
a word like "dysphilia"...

...bandied about in a comic book,
of all things. Ha-ha-ha.

It's defined as
the inability to like oneself.

Uh-huh. Thanks for the English lesson.

I think they're waiting for you
back at Conjunction Junction.

Wait a minute. Harvey? That's it!

-What's it?
-Don't you see?

Every time you think
something bad about yourself...

...the Dysphilia gets even bigger.
It's feeding off your negative self-esteem.

I'm the one making the monster grow?
Oh, that's perfect.

- Now I really give up.
- No, you can't give up!

You have to use your superpowers
to draw us out of this mess...

-...so we can go home!
-Well, then we're in big trouble...

...because that thing
is erasing everything I created.

And I can't think of another
single thing to draw.

They were right. I'm a loser.

Do something.

I refuse to die wearing this hat.

Oh, you're a loser, all right, Harvey...

...because winners never quit.
You're a quitter.

And that makes you a loser.
And another thing.

-A 4-year-old could draw better than you.
-Now, hold on.

And you know what else?
Squids are a totally bogus superpower.

-Everybody else was right. You stink!
-I do not!

I'm a good cartoonist.
I created this whole world.

I may have a lot to learn,
but I'm a good artist.

Yep, you sure are.

Wait. You said all that stuff
to get me going, didn't you? Thanks.

Wow. What a powerful friendship.

I know I for one have learned
a valuable life lesson.

Now let's go save the nice kitty cat
from the big blobby monster thing!

Blobby, blobby! That's it!

Remember that old movie The Blob?

They used carbon dioxide
fire extinguishers to freeze the monster.

-Yeah, but that's an awfully big blob.
-And I have an awfully big superpower.

Come on! I've got a plan!

Here goes nothing!

Hurry, before it melts!

Now I'll use my Harvionic Inker
to create the ultimate weapon.

See, I can draw a hand.

Oh, no! I'm out of ink!

Out of ink? Ink! Squids make ink.

Thanks for the assist!

You did it!

-We did it.
-Ahem!

I did it!

Without my brilliant insights
and wisdom...

...all of you would be trapped
in this comic book forever.

I don't hear a "Thank you."

You know what, poochie?

I've been listening to your big mouth
since we got here...

...and I've only got one thing
to say to you.

-And that would be?
-I couldn't help noticing...

...that you need that dorky
little radio to talk.

Stray dog!

Bye-bye.

The spell is wearing off!
We're going home!

Sabrina? What just happened?

Don't you remember? You were
on your way to the comic convention.

-I was?
-Uh-huh.

To show your comic to King Kirby.

And I guess you were so excited,
you tripped or something, and....

Oh, yeah! Will you come with me?

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Isn't he cool?

I wonder what he'll say about my work.

Good luck.

Hmm. Well, um....

You-- You need to practice
drawing hands.

Your coloring's a little messy,
and the lettering's off.

But it kicks the stuffing out
of my early work!

-It does?
-Ha, ha!

You keep working on this, and I think
you've got the talent to make it as a pro!

Score!

Freaks.