Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 49 - Xabrina, Warrior Witch - full transcript

Harvey is recruited to test a prototype of a new virtual reality game. Unbeknownst to him, the video executive, Charles MBA made the game addictive. Sabrina and Chloe become concerned when Harvey starts skipping school. They pay a visit to Harvey's house and are shocked to find him hypnotized by the game. Sabrina uses her magic to transport herself and Chloe into the game world. Once there, she is transformed into a warrior and with Chloe's help they fight many mythological creatures and Mr. MBA himself in order to rescue Harvey and return his mind safely to Greendale.

[PURRING]

♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪

♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪

♪ STAND UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪

♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND
ACROBAT ♪

♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪

♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪

♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪

♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪

♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪

♪ COME HAVE A RIDE ♪



♪ GET HAPPY ♪

♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪

♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪

♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪

♪ SABRINA ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪

♪ SABRINA ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪

HA HA!

♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪

♪ SABRINA ♪

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT

♪ DUM DE DUM DUM DUM ♪



(Chanting)
Go Har-vey! Go Har-vey!
Go Har-vey! Go Har-vey!

This Harvey kid,
is he really good?

He's a legend.

He comes in here once a week
and beats every game I have.

Kinkle! Come over here!

Harvey, this is
Charles Embeeay.

He's an executive
with Vicious Videos,

the company that makes the
game you just destroyed.

Hello Harvey, I hear you're
one of the best players

in town.

I have a business proposition
for a boy with talent

such as yours...

Chloe:
Harvey, this is so cool.

Sabrina:
Imagine, your very
own arcade game!

Harvey doesn't own this, we're
merely lending it to him

for a week.

It's a prototype
of our latest game,

"Monsters, Myths & Mayhem."

I want Harvey to thoroughly
test it and give us his

"expert opinion."

It won't take a week!

Harvey will beat
that thing in a day.

Or less.

Perhaps not.

This is no ordinary game.

I think it sh-- ahhhhhh--
ahhhhhh-AHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOO!

Do you girls use perfume?

Hair spray? Deodorant,
nail polish or shampoo?

Nothing sets off my allergies
worse than ladies' cosmetics.

Maybe you two better split.

I'm afraid he'll
blow his nose off.

Fine with me.

Mr. Mucus is grossing me out.

So, what makes
this game special?

It's because...

because...

oh, tell him, Dell.

It's the latest in
cutting-edge virtual reality

technology!

When you wear this headset,
the game becomes more real

than real life.

I should know, I designed it.

But I should warn you,
prolonged exposure-

Dell! Don't prejudice Harvey.

I want his untainted opinion.

But, Mr. Embeeay, uh,
what about the flaw!

I TOLD YOU,
THERE ARE NO FLAWS!

Just a few minor glitches.

Now start the game.

Whoah!

It's totally awesome.

So you've only told me about
a dozen times this morning.

But, it isn't
like any other game.

It's set in ancient Greece,
with gods and monsters.

And it's all so
real, it's like,

like...

Totally awesome.

So you've said.

C'mon, let's get to class.

Ughhhhh...

Ten letters, with three Z's!

That's gotta be worth
about a jillion points.

What kinda word
is "zortzblatz?"

A magic word.

You shouldn't have
said it out loud.

Sabrina:
I'm home! Chloe's here!

Hey, you two.

Pull up a chair
and join the game.

Thanks, but we
have to call Harvey.

He went home early yesterday
and today he didn't come to

school at all.

Hi Uncle Quig.

"Zortzblatz?"

Hee hee!

I hate coming over here.

I told you Harvey wasn't home.

That's why he
didn't answer the phone.

He's probably with his folks.

No, they both work.

Look, his bike's here.

Chloe, I'm worried.

We gotta go in and
see if he's okay.

Oh, No.

Told you he was here.

Hi, Harvey!

The, uh, front door
was open, so we...

Harvey?

HARVEY! YOO-HOO!

YOU HAVE COMPANY!

He must really be into it.

We gotta get him
away from that machine.

Woah!

Sabrina: This is terrible!

It's like he's a
zombie or something.

The game has him hypnotized.

I know!

Let's just pull the plug.

Sabrina: That's weird.
There is no plug.

And there's no "off" switch.

NOW what?

Let's call that Embeeay guy.

He'll know what to do.

[phone rings]

Vicious Videos,
Charles Embeeay's office.

How may I help you?

I've gotta talk
to Mr. Embeeay!

My friend's playing one of his
games and he can't stop--

Mr. Embeeay isn't in right now.

Perhaps you
could try tomorrow.

Or the next day.

Or next week.

Ha..Heh..Heh..Heh...

Call a doctor!

No, A psychiatrist!

An electrician?

Who can you call with
this kind of problem?

Hello, you're on All-Witch
Radio Network with the

Wise Warlock.

So caller,
what's your problem?

Wise Warlock?

This is Sabrina.

Hel-lo there, you
little cutie pie!

Don't tell me:
Your problem is,

your friend's hooked up to an
experimental video game and

he's acting all
zombie and creepy like.

That's right! How did you know?

What can I say? I'm
good with exposition.

Now, listen carefully: Your
friend's "essence" is trapped

INSIDE the video game.

The only way to get him back
is for you to GO INTO THE GAME

and rescue him.

Me? You want me to go
INTO a video game?

What am I, talkin' to myself?

Yes, you!

But be careful, Sabrina.

This is serious stuff.

I've got to go
inside the game.

Sabrina, you CAN'T go
in there by yourself.

What if you can't get out?

Look, somebody's
gotta rescue him.

Well then, no way are
you going in alone.

I'm going with you.

Wooaaaaah!

Woaaaahhh!

Ugh!

Wow!

Is this the game?

And what kinda
retro look is this?

You're lucky.
-Huh?

This little
ensemble's all leather.

Check out this place.

It's so --

Don't say
it -- totally awesome.

Greetings, players!

And welcome to "Myths,
Monsters and Mayhem".

All characters, names and
incidents contained herein are

copyrighted by
Vicious Videos, Inc.

Aunt Zelda?

No, though I may appear to be.

Thanks to an
exclusive patented feature,

all the characters in this
game will look like people you

know.

I am Athena,
Goddess of Wisdom,

your guide to this game.

Ohhh-Kay, Athena.

And just who are WE supposed
to be in these getups?

You are...

XABRINA, WARRIOR PRINCESS!

And you are her
trusty sidekick,

Scabriella.

Hey!

Fine. "Scabriella" and
I are here to find

another player.

But the only way to FIND
someone would be to

play the game and
catch up with them.

So how do we do play the game?

The goal of the game is to
reach the Black Citadel,

and capture the treasure
within: the fabulous Golden

McGuffin.

The Citadel lies at
the end of this path.

Along the way you will
encounter challenges.

But, fear
not, you will be armed.

(gasp) Don't look now, but
I think we're bad girls.

You'll also need this.

It's all the game's
rules and regulations.

Refer to it if
you're ever in trouble.

Ack!

Unh!

It's so heavy!

Here, use this.

It's a magical mini-pack.

It will hold objects
much larger than its size.

There!

Packed and ready to go.

Good luck.

And thanks for
playing "Monsters,

Myths and Mayhem."

Remember, if you
get in trouble,

use the book!

I wonder what
Zelda, uh, Athena,

meant by challenges?

I'm not sure.

But, there's nothing my
witch magic can't handle.

Besides, if it gets too bad,
I can always zap us out

of the game.

Huh?

What's with the road block?

GRRRRRRRR!!

GRRRRRRR-COUGH cough hack!

Nothing's worse than a hairball

mixed with pin feathers!

Huh?

What are you supposed to be?

Hey, I ask the
questions around here.

I'm the Sphinx.

I ask riddles and
you have to answer.

So tell me, what animal has
four feet in the morning,

two at noon, and
three at night?

Hmmmm...

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I know!

I read about that!

It's man!

He crawls on all
fours as baby,

walks on two legs as an adult
and uses a cane in old age.

Wrong-o!

It's a
nine-legged Psycho-Pompous!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Stand back!

I'll just zap that
cootie into an eggplant!

Huh?

Sabrina!

Make with the magic!

Sabrina: I-I can't!

My witch magic
isn't working here!!

(gasp)

Aaaaaahh!! Aaahh!

Aaah!

Good little Psycho-Pompous.

Shoo-shoo! Go home!

Yipe!

You sure you can't zap it?

My witch powers don't
work in this world!

I can't even zap us home!

We'll just have to play the
game to the end - or be stuck

here FOREVER!

Chloe: Forever?

Then we really ARE in trouble.

Grrrr..

Wait a minute.

What did Zelda, I
mean Athena, say?

Remember, if you
get into trouble,

use the book.

Yaahhhh!

Maybe there's a
solution in here!

I'll look under pest control!

Now that's gotta hurt.

Well, I hope you
girls are happy.

That Psycho-Pompous will be
in one foul mood when he

wakes up.

Hey, we beat your monster.

AND we did it by the book.

Well, aren't YOU special?

Alright, the rules say I'm
supposed to give you something

for winning.

Here.

The legendary Singing Shield.

Er, thanks.

Why's it called
the Singing Shield?

Well, since you asked: And
a-one and a-two and a --

♪ Some think the world is
made for fun and frolic, ♪

♪ And so do I, and so do I! ♪

♪ Some think it is well
to be all melancholic, ♪

♪ To pine and sigh.... ♪

♪ Funiculi Funicula, ♪

♪ Funiculi Funicula!! ♪

♪ Joy is everywhere - ♪

♪ Funiculi Funicula!! ♪

Thank you, trusty sidekick.

Look! Over there!

Is that Harvey?

It is him.

We've gotta catch up!

Whoaaaahhhh!!!!

Awk!
-Oww!

Hilda:
Defilers! Desecrators!
Teeny-boppers!

Hilda!

-WRONG!

I am Aphrodite,
goddess of beauty.

And you two are trespassing
on MY sacred temple.

It's not like we
had much of a choice.

Nevertheless, such
sacrilege really ticks me off.

You must be punished!

Keep away! Or I'll...

uh, do whatever you
do with this thing.

Pul-ease.

Me, fight? Heh!

I might break a nail.

Hey!

Not only are you trespassing,
but you're breaking every

fashion rule.

Pathetic.

Let's see...

you seem to be into leather.

So I'll just turn
you both into -- COWS!

Ack!

Whoaahhhhhhh!!!!!

MOOOOO!!

Hmpf!

Oh!

MOOOOOOOO!

Whaaaaaa!

MOOOOOOOO!

Think mere cloth can protect
you?

I'd laugh, but it
causes wrinkles.

Chloe! The shield!

How lovely I am!

I figured the only force
powerful enough to stop her is

her own vanity.

Now circle behind her.

Does this frock make my
hips look big? Be brutal.

GOTCHA!!

Eeeep!

Surrender! Or we'll,
er, we'll...

muss up your hair!!

Oooo!

Okay, okay!

There's no reason
to turn ugly here.

I give up!

Well?

Aren't you supposed to
give us a prize or something?

It's always
about you, isn't it?

Oh, very well.

Here.

Your very own sample kit
of Goddess Aphrodite's

Beauty Aids.

There's lip
gloss, nail polish,

perfume.

Even some dental floss!

Just put it in the pack.

"This way to the labyrinth?"

Legends say you can
get lost in it forever.

Hey! Look! Harvey!

We've been trying to
catch up with you!!

Harvey?

I recognize not that name.

I am Sparticlees -
warrior supreme!

No you're not.

You're playing a video
game and you're confused.

Hey, you over there!

You guys know the way to Troy?

Ah, go to the
Aegean and turn left?

Huh! Thanks!

Hey, where'd Harvey go?

Oh no!

He must've gone --
--into the labyrinth!

We can't go in there!

Look!

"Watch for
crossing minotaurs."

Well, I don't care
about mazes OR minotaurs.

We gotta get Harvey!

But we'll get lost for sure!

Maybe not.

Where's that beauty kit?
I've got an idea...

Singing Sheild:
♪ While strollin'
through the park one day, ♪

♪ In the merry,
merry month of May... ♪

♪ I was taken by surprise
by a pair of roguish eyes, ♪

♪ in a moment my poor
heart was stole away. ♪

♪ Her smile was all she gave to
me - ♪

I'd rather be eaten
by a monster

than hear any more of that.

I'm beginning to think
we'll never find Harvey again.

But at least we haven't
seen any monsters--

Grrrrr...

You brutes!

You just about gave
me a heart attack!

But aren't you the Minotaur?

Don't you trap
people and eat them?

Usually.

But I've been lost
in here for weeks.

I'm tired and cranky
and I need a fatty snack.

Yeah, but first,
have you seen Harvey,

er, Sparticlees?

Sure.

I gave him my Golden Key
and he took it and ran.

He had a map.

I don't suppose
you guys have one.

No. But, I've been leaving a
trail of this dental floss

we got from Aphrodite.

All we have to do is follow
it back to the entrance.

Good thing it was
the jumbo roll.

Sheild and Minotaur:
♪ ...For he's
a jolly good fellow, ♪

♪ for he's a jolly
good fellow... ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good
fellow, that nobody can deny! ♪

If we can survive that,
we can survive anything.

Minotaur:
And for rescuing
me, take this.

It's not much, but it's
about all I have left.

Uh, thanks, I guess.

Good-bye!

Don't be strangers!

Nice girls for warriors.
(humming)

What? Not again! I'm LOST!
HELP! Girls! Anyone!

HEEELLLLLP!!

Sabrina:
It's the Black Citadel!

And there's Harvey!

Harvey! Wait for us!

Ooooff!

Made it!

Where is he?

Sabrina:
Oh, great. Here
we go again.

Harrr-vey!

Har-vey, where are you?!

Harvey?

Oh Harrr-veyyy!

Chloe:
This has to be
the last room!

Nothin' in here
but - what is that?

That must be the
Golden McGuffin!

It's the treasure at
the end of the game.

We've won!

We came all this way
for an Egg McGuffin?

So where's Harvey?

Mmmmmpppphhh!

Harvey!

Who did this to you?

Mr. Embeeay:
I believe that
would be me.

Now, the question is,
(sniffle) how did YOU two

get in here?

Mr. Embeeay??!

Why the surprise?

This is my game.

Of course, I'm
not really here.

Actually, right now
I'm sitting at my desk,

watching all this with a
virtual reality headset.

And I'm afraid you girls are
in big trouble for trespassing

in my game.

Us?!

YOU'RE the one in trouble.

The real Harvey's outside
hooked up to your game,

acting like a zombie.

Yeah, your game is dangerous!

It's addictive or something.

But that's the whole point.

It's DESIGNED to be
super-addictive -- to keep you

little kiddies putting
quarters into my machines.

That's terrible!

We're gonna call the police!

The FBI! A lawyer!

Oh, I doubt that.

You see, you're
not getting out.

In this game I'm all powerful.

Face it, children,
you're simply outnumbered.

Maybe.

But we can still... RUN!!

Follow me!!

Aaaaaah!

I can't believe we
got out of there alive.

This is unseemly!

I am Sparticlees!

I do not run, I fight!

Something tells me,
Spart, you'll get your chance.

Foolish kids.

In order for you to
get out of the game,

you'll have to beat me.

ALL of me.

Yeccch.

He may be all powerful,
but he still has allergies.

Chloe! You're a genius!

Hold this!

What good will a horn do?

Nothing -- until we fill
it full of smelly ladies'

cosmetics!

There's nothing you
can do to stop me.

I am INVINCIBLE!!!

Well, I'm not invincible --
but I do have a horn full of

all kinds of
smelly, girlie stuff.

And THIS is what I have to
say about you and your game.

That smell!

It's - It's a combination
of all the cosmetics you're

ALLERGIC to!

AHHHHHH--CHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Quick! Get in the bag!

Huh? But I won't fit!

Just do it!

AHHHH-AHHHH-AHHHHHHHHH -
AHHHHHHHHHHHH-

How could one little girl undo
all my beautiful wickedness?

AH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Sabrina:
Gesundheit.

Whaaa -- Whoaaa!

Ugh! Oooofff!

All RIGHT!

We're home!

Game over! Everybody out!

You'd think a magic pack
would have more leg room.

We have triumphed greatly,
though in a manner not

strictly kosher.

Who is yon lout?

He looks,eh, familiar.

Whoah!

Harvey! You okay?!

I think.

Dell:
Oh, my goodness!

I was coming up the walk
and the door was blown open!

Is everybody all right?

Yeah, I think so.

Sorry about the game.

Somehow it got broken.

It's not your fault.

I was afraid the
technology was unsafe.

The minute I was
put in charge,

I rushed over to
put an end to this.

What happened to Embeeay?

It was terrible!

He was at his desk testing
some equipment when he sneezed

so hard he blew himself
right out the window!

Haven't seen him since.

Oh, Look at this mess!

I'll get a crew to
clean it up immediately.

And I'm gonna go
lie down for a while.

I'm feeling -- sorta
dizzy and confused...

You did it, Xabrina!

You beat the monsters and
rescued the dude in distress!

Couldn't've done it without
my trusty sidekick Scabriella.

But I've had all the mythology
I can stand for a while.

AHH-CHOOOO!

(laughter)

(laughter)

(laughter)

Freaks!

Girl: Savage, we love you.