Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 46 - Board & Sorcery - full transcript

The Spellman's take a trip to the mountains, with Hilda and Zelda skiing, Quigley ice-skating and Sabrina and Harvey snowboarding a good time is had by all. That is until Quigley runs over a celebrated Ice Capades character and has to fill in for him and Harvey is challenged to a race by Slugloafe. Sabrina casts a spell to make Harvey One with the snow and instead of becoming an awesome boarder he becomes a snowman. Sabrina must switch Harvey back before he melts away.

(PURRING)

♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪

♪ WHO KNOWS WHERE IT'S AT ♪

♪ SO GET UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪

♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND ACROBAT ♪

♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪

♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪

♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC ♪

♪ CALL SABRINA ♪

♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪

♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪



♪ COME ON, EVERYBODY,
GET HAPPY ♪

♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪

♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪

♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC ♪

♪ CALL SABRINA ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH HER ♪

♪ SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪

♪ SABRINA ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH HER ♪

♪ SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪

♪ SABRINA ♪

♪ YOU BETTER WATCH HER ♪

♪ SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪

HA HA HA!



♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪

♪ SABRINA ♪

Salem:
♪ DUM DEE DUM DUM DUM ♪

Gee guys!

Thanks for including me in your
annual family trip to opening

day on Mt. Hairlinefracture!

Glad to have you along Harvey!

We never miss opening day
at Mt. Hairlinefracture!

The girls ski.

I skate.

And, well, Salem sulks.

You know how it is Harv.

Pets hate it when ya
leave 'em home alone.

I hope Salem's O.K.

"Play that Rock
N' Roll everyday!

We cats get jiggy
when the dog's away!

Tell them mice's to
get outta the way!

They'll end up dinner
if they choose to stay!

Play that Rock N'
Roll everyday!" Ohhh!

Ptui!

Ow.

Heeelllp!

I can't get uuuuuuupp!

Heeeeeelpp!!!

It'll be cool to try
something new Sabrina!

We'll have a blast!

Ooh look!

They're having a "Billy
GoBoomBoom the Beaver" on ice

spectacular up at the lodge!

Ooh.

We used to love Billy
GoBoomBoom when we were kids!

Can't say I've ever seen it.

I mostly watch the
gardening channel.

Why just last week they
dedicated an entire half-hour to

dry rot.

Hey, here we are!

All right everyone.

Remember where we're parked.

We'll all meet back here at 6pm.

Remember, stay warm and dry
and outta the sno- Why, hello

Harvey.

Fancy meeting you here...

(turning to Sabrina) Huh?

Is that Spellman?

(to the driver) James!

Park somewhere else!

This is obviously the line
for Mommy's dropping off their

babies for Skiwee lessons.

Ugh, Gem Stone.

Hmm.

I just can't believe Gem would
go somewhere without her little

toady Bernard tagging along.

Keep up Bernard!

After we park, if you carry my
ski equipment, you can ride in

the trunk on the way
back to Greendale!

Brrr.

T-trying to keep up...brr.

Come on Harv.

Let's give these boards a try.

See ya Quig!

We gotta meet our ski dates!

Ahhh.

Michelle Kwan eat
your heart out!

He he.

Wha..Ahhhh..Uhhhh!

Oomf!

I am so sorry sir!

I didn't see you there!

My triple Lutz
became a triple klutz!!

I..uh, sir..?

Ow!

My spine.

B-Billy GoBoomBoom!

You KILLED Billy GoBoomBoom!!!

Yipes!

The mountain claims
its first victim.

Yow!

I hope we're not next!

Don't sweat it Sabrina.

This is just like those sports.

It'll be a snap!

Wha!

Uhn!

I think I snapped my head bone!

Uhhg.

It's like that theory: If you
give ten million monkeys, ten

million typewriters, and ten
million years, it feels like

each one of those
monkeys kicked me in the butt.

Ow!

Well, we can't give up.

Snowboardin's just something
we've never done before...if it

was easy, any
knuckle-dragger could do it.

HAHAHAHAA!

Look at you losers!

Speaking of knuckle-draggers --
Oh, outta all the ski slopes in

all the mountains in all the
world and Slugloaf had to ski

into ours.

Snowboarding!

Ha!

Like that's gonna last!

What a stupid fad!

Skiing rules loozers!

Give us a break.

We're just trying
something new Slugloaf.

Ha!

Why do you think it's
called a "snow BOARD"?

Cuz you just lie on your back
in the snow all day...BORED!!!

Later dweebs!

Forget him Harv.

C'mon!

Let's just keep trying!

Whoaaa!

Whooaaa!

Ugh!

Ow. My spine.

Maybe we can give up now.

The Doc says Lars
can't make the show.

Billy GoBoomBoom the
beaver go bye bye, Man!

(Sobbing)

B-Beaver?

He's a beaver?!

No!

Billy GoBoomBoom the Beaver!

From the Billy GoBoomBoom
the Beaver on Ice show!

I got a hundred kids
waitin' for a show today.

(Mumble Walla)

What am I gonna do?

Lars not only knows the act, but
he's the only one who fits into

that stupid beaver suit!

Oh my.

I feel awful.

If there's
anything I can do..I...

Say, what size are you?

Well, it's kinda personal,
uh, I shop in the "Hugely

Horizontal/Volumes of Vertical"
store in the..uh..Pleasingly

Plump section in the
uh..Wide Ride aisle..

You're perfect!

You're gonna play
Billy GoBoomBoom!

Nothing like a nice
long undisturbed cat bath!

Of course blech, ya
get, all this ptui!

Fur in your mouth, blech.

Oh what the heck.

Quig's not home.

He won't miss a little cologne.

Hee... Hee...

Da...Dee...dum..dum...

(sniff, sniff) Uh?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

You'll see, Harv by this
afternoon, we'll be shredding on

these things.

MwahaHAHA!

How's the snowboardin' losers!

We're not losers, Slugloaf!

We're just trying something new!

Maybe you should
try something new.

I'll bet you I can board
circles around you and those...

those...

primitive sticks you call skis.

You're on.

3:00 p.m.

A race.

From right here to the
big cast at the bottom.

You and me!

You're on!

Uh, Harvey maybe -- Loser has
to paint his ears blue, put on a

tu-tu, glue a potato to his nose
and pull the winner on a solid

gold cart to the fifty-yard line
during the last four seconds of

next year's Superbowl.

Be real Slugloaf.

Like I would actually
paint my ears blue!

Hmm.

Okay maybe that is nuts.

How about the loser has to
wear a sign that says,

"I are a loser?"

for a week.

Uh...I think you
mean..."I am a loser."

Yeah.

You are!

HA HA!

See ya at 3:00 loser!

Oh man Sabrina! What
was I thinkin'?

How can I race him.

I can't slide two
feet on this thing.

Actually, I'm not sure
what you were thinkin' Harv.

You kinda let your
competitive side take over.

Let's take a break.

We can try again after lunch.

Lunch.

No way!

I gotta learn this thing before
three O'clock!

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

Ow.

Oh man. Harv's doomed.

B-But..I..can't play
Billy GoBoomBoom the Beaver.

Look pal, you
flattened my partner.

Yes, t-that was awful...

Ya gotta take his place!

You owe me.

I'll teach you
everything you need to know.

Besides.

You're the only one
who'll fit into the costume!

(bummed) Hey Hilda.

Hi Zelda.

Sabrina!

How's our favorite
snowboardin' niece?

That's no boardin' niece.

But I'm better off than Harvey.

He's gotten himself in a race
with Slug loaf that he may not

survive.

May not survive?

Oh that's terrible.

Just awful.

(suddenly cheery)
We'll, we're off!

See ya Sabrina.

Our dates are a
couple of great guys.

The Abominable snowman
and his cousin Yeti.

(screams) That'll be them now!

RrrOOOORArggghhhhHH!

And people think Abominable
snow beasts aren't romantic!

(giggle)

Hmm.. Ah! Salem!
He's my only hope!

(phone recording) Hi!
You've reached the Spellmans.

Leave a message.

Sabrina: Salem! Pick up!

I know you're there.

It's an emergency!

Yeah.

Sure it is hon.

Isn't it always with you.

Well this kitty ain't bitin'.

Alright Salem!

If you don't pick up these
photos of you in glee club,

they're goin' out
over the internet!

Gnaaaa!

O.K. O.K.

In the name of all that's holy!

Gimme that!

I still have the negative.

O.K!

O.K!

I'm your servant!

Just tell me what you need!

That's it?

I just say this over some snow.

That's it.

By blizzard and ice / Arctic
winds that blow / Make Harvey

Kinkle / Be one with the snow!

Ow. Feeling..in back..gone.

Hmmm.

Well that didn't work so well.

Ha!

What a loser!

Harvey is not a loser!

Look at him lying there!

This snowman has a better chance

of beating me at
a downhill race.

And look what happens
when it falls down!

(gasp)

Haha!

Later for you Frosty!

Slugloaf!

What made you so..well..

rotten?

Oh nothing really.

I made a conscious
decision to be this way.

But when I'm asked the same
question by my court ordered

councilor I always blame my
actions on Saturday morning

cartoons.

HA! HA!

Hmm.

I always wondered
who was behind that.

Step aside peasants.

Snow queen coming through.

Bernard.

Make sure those little people
don't breathe unworthy breath on

my expensive ski equipment.

And it's Saturday morning
cartoon's fault the I threw a

snowball that knocked
Bernard's block off!

But, wait -- Ah!

Bernard you better not be
touching my jacket with your

pudgy little fingers!

Not touching..jacket..

Oh well.

Can't win em all.

Of course Kinkle
can't win any of em.

Haw. Haw!

Whoo! Hoo!

Wow!

I've really got the
hang of this now, Sabrina.

Yeah Harv!

It's like you really
are one with the snow!

Yeah it really is.

I mean I'm not even cold.

But Harvey.

It's freezing out here.

Not to me.

It must be all this shredding!

I'm really working up a sweat.

Ah, That's better.

Sheesh Harv.

I don't want you
to catch a cold.

I won't Sabs.

I am one with the snow.

Yeee! Ha!

Man I love boardin'.

I wish I'd tried this sooner.

You're a natural Harv!

I just wish I had my goggles.

I think I got
something in my eye.

Could you take a look Sabs?

No problemo Harv.

It's like I keep seeing this
orange spot right between my

eyes.

It's weird.

Weird.

Yes.

The word "weird"
certainly comes to mind.

Must be a slight case
of snow blindness Harv.

Maybe it's time to head in.

He he.

No way.

I'm not quittin' til I'm the
best shredder on the mountain.

Gee now my hands are sweaty.

Ahhh.

That's better.

My hands are..are..

Twigs!

My hands are twigs!?

L-Look at the bright side.

Th-they match your carrot
nose in an organic kinda way..

Carrot no- Ah!

Yipes!

I have a carrot nose!

What's happening to me?!

Harvey..I never thought the day
would come when I'd utter these

words..but- well, you're
turning into a snowman.

(freaked out) But I
don't wanna be a snowman!

Have you ever seen the
way dog's treat snowmen.?

Yellow is not my color!

Listen Harv.

There's bound to be a perfectly
logical explanation for what's

happening.

I'm not sure the word logical
should be bandied about in front

of a guy with a carrot nose and
leaves growing outta the tips of

his finger tips!

Just stay cool Harvey.

How can I not stay cool.

I'm a SNOWMAN!

Shhh!

Slugloaf's coming!

Freeze.

Hey Smellman.

Where's your dimmer
half, Klutzo-Kinkle?

Out picking out a nice pair
of crutches I'll bet - Huh?

Hey!

What the -!?

(giggle)
Something wrong Slugloaf?

Yeah!

Someone kicked me!!!

Yeah right!

maybe it was that snowman!

Ha ha!

Look!

I'm tellin' ya, someone ki- OW!

My butt!

Maybe you better check
in with the snow patrol.

Let 'em know you're havin'
sharp pains in your brain area.

Very funny.

I'll find out what's going
on and then you'll be sorry!

And as far as this stupid
snowman, there's only one thing

they're good for..to be
pushed over and stomped on!

Harvey!

Be careful Bernard.

Those ski edges are gold-plated
and waxed with...yhaaaaa!.

Yaahahhhhhh!

Ha! Ha!

Did you se that Sabrina!

Slugloaf didn't
know what hit him!

Ha! Ha!

Some parts of being made
of snow aren't that bad!

Ha!

Boy, things sure are warming up.

Yeah.

They sure are..I'm..

I'M MELTING!

Three words!

Wind chill factor!

We RIDE!

Whoaaaaaa!

Whoa!

That dudes snowman
shredder threads are radical.

It's the next wave dude.

I want in.

Whoa.

Kinkle's on the cutting
edge of shredder fashion.

Capitalism calls man!

Yhaaa!

It's working!

I'm freezing up again!

Ah! There!

Back to normal..I mean normal
as a guy who's turned in to a

snowman can be.

I'll be right back.

(Salem giggling)

Sorry!

Time for kitty's
vet appointment!

Don't even think about it!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Look!

Salem, I snatched the snow
for the spell from a snowman.

Not only did Harvey become one
with the snow..He became one

with the snowman!

Brr!

Don't you hate it
when that happens!

Are you gonna help me or not?

Well. It's obvious.

You need the snow from the
source to reverse the spell.

Everyone knows that.

"Everyone knows" -
Whatta ya mean "the source?"

Ah, the snowman you
got the snow from!

Ya gotta use that snow!

But Slugloaf smushed
it and now it's gone!

Well then Harvey's gonna
be stuck as a snowman.

Look!

I can't let Harvey
stay a snowman Salem!

A. It'll ruin our
summer vacations forever!

And B.

I can't take my best friend
seriously when he has a carrot

for a nose.

Yipes!

And what if he gets
attacked by hungry bunnies.

Brr!

It's too horrible
to think about.

We gotta find some
snow from that snowman!

Wait a minute!

Slugloaf cruelly
heaved it at Bernard!

It missed but ended up in
the hood of Gem's coat!

We have to find that
snowball to reverse the spell.

That means - I
just gotta find Gem.

Come on!
(yelp)

Why bother.

This is ridiculous.

Look at me.

I'll never be me again.

I'm a freak.

Forget it Sabrina.

I'm not gonna race Slugloaf.

I'm just gonna go
somewhere and..and...melt.

Harvey wait -- And one and turn
and two and turn and three and-

faster Bernard.

I'm becoming bored.

Now turn!

Go..unh..faster..don't want
Gem bored..mumble, mumble.

Ah!

Aaaaa! (moan)

So Smellman.

Did Kinkle chicken out or what?

(cheering)

Harvey? But...

I may not be me on the outside
any more Sabrina, but I'm me on

the inside.

And the me on the
inside isn't a quitter.

What is up with that
stupid snowman getup Kinkle?

Oh, please Slugloaf!

You're such a dinosaur.

You just aren't down with
this year's shredder wear.

Go Harv!

Righteous!

Yeah dude!

Oh yeah.

Well I had a snowman
suit like that last year.

Look, are we gonna race or what?

Let's do it!

Okay.

Last one to touch the
cast at base lodge loses!

GO!!

Hey kids!

What time is it!!?

It's time for
Billy to GoBoomBoom!!

♪♪

Whatever.

Look, Tara
Lipinski, stop spinning.

Haven't you ever seen
Billy GoBoomBoom Beaver?

N-no can't say that I have.

What does Billy do?

It's simple.

I'm Buzz your
little cartoon nemesis.

I ah, help you see.

Ahhh.

Friends.

Kids like that.

Yeah.

Right this way, friend.

Ahh. The children are excited!

A magic mystery box.

"Prestidigitation"
Kids love that.

So I, uh, disappear?

Well. Kinda.

Right kids?!

Billy GoBoomBoom!

Billy! Billy! Billy!

YAHHHHH!

Billy! Billy! Billy!

Go Harv! Go!

Do backpacks just come with
the old bologna sandwich smell

already inside or do
you order that special?

Look, you wanna walk?

Ungh!

Cold snow between
my sensitive toes.

YAAAAAAA!!!

Hey pigs finally really can fly!

Ow!

Look! There's Gem!

And this time she isn't
getting away.

Whoaaaaaaa!

(In Shatner voice)
Going too fast.

Can't control my vessel!

Collision imminent!

AH!

(Moans and yelps) Okay Salem,
we've got one shot at this.

You gotta jump off that ridge
and jump in her hood and get

that snowball.

Jump? Who am I Evel Catneivel?

Aaaieee!

Yahhh!

Missed by that much.

Yahh!

Mountain lion eating my face!

Ahhhh!

What are you going
on about Bernard?

Huh?

EYAHHH!

Eeeeeeeekkk!

AH!

Mountain lion.

Trying to eat my foot.

Oh zip it and go on a unh, diet!

(branch cracking)

Hang on Salem.

(grunt) I got ya!

Ow! Easy!

If that thing comes off
you're buying me a new one.

Salem!

The snowball!

Yipes!

AAAAAA!!!

(Big sigh) What is going on!

I can't see anything!

Spellman!

Pull me out if here!

I'm, un, trying. Ah!

Can't...hold..on.

Looks like you could
use a hand there miss.

Hi Sabrina.

We were skiing by and
we heard your cries.

We noticed you and your friends
were hanging off a cliff, so we

thought we'd stop
by and say hello.

Great, It's pleasant seeing you.

Now help me PULL!

Ah!

Whoaaaa!

Thannnk youuu!

Oh!

Ugh!

Brr!

Dreamed a giant
tiger attacked me.

Bernard!

If you ever smash into me again,
I'll have my daddy trademark the

word Bernard just so I never
have to hear it again without

being PAID!

(gasp) Uh?

Ugh!

Salem, I could kiss you.

How about just spend a little
more time cleaning the ol'

litter box?

C'mon.

We gotta go throw this at Harvey
and turn him back into his old

self.

Yeah.

Before something else happens!

Wha...Whooaaaaaaa!

Yaaaaahhh!!!!

(grunting)

OW!

I won!

Ah!

(gasp) Hunh!

Wh-what happened?

You won Harvey! You won!

Can we go home now?

Well, another
memorable family trip!

It's just a shame we left before
the rest of you could get your

own snowboardin' snowman suits.

I'm not sure why.

But if I ever saw another
snowman, it'd be too soon.

Hmm.

I guess some people
just aren't with it.