Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 29 - This Is Your Nine Lives - full transcript
It's Salem's birthday and he's used to getting the lavish gifts. Sabrina thinks her homemade gift sucks so she time travels to get him a unique gift, wishes from all his buddies from the old days. Along the way, Sabrina realizes that Salem has hurt more people than he's helped. Sabrina and Chloe are captured by the pirate John Lefoot, so he can use Sabrina's power for his own greediness. Sabrina must escape with herself and her friend in once piece. She learns that when giving a gift, it's the thought that counts.
[PURRING]
♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪
♪ STAND UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪
♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND
ACROBAT ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪
♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪
♪ COME HAVE A RIDE ♪
♪ GET HAPPY ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
HA HA!
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT
♪ DUM DE DUM DUM DUM ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA DA DA DA ♪
♪ DA-DA DA-DA ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
SALEM'S BIRTHDAY.
BOY, I HOPE
HE LIKES HIS PRESENT.
IT TOOK ME
A MILLION HOURS
TO MOLD THIS OLD WAND
INTO A FRAME.
HEE HEE HEE!
WHAT YOU DOING?
WHAT'S WITH THE CAT
ON THE HOT TIN BED ROUTINE?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
HEH HEH.
CHECKING FOR DUST?
AH.
YOU LITTLE SNEAK.
YOU'RE TRYING
TO FIND YOUR
BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY,
AND I LOVE IT ALL--
THE PARTY, THE BALLOONS,
THE CAKE, THE FUSS.
AND MOST OF ALL,
THE PRESENTS.
'CAUSE IT'S ALL
ABOUT THE PRESENTS.
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
WHAT YOU GOT THERE?
IS, UH,
IS THAT FOR MOI?
YES--NO.
I MEAN, MAYBE.
PLEASE GIVE ME
A HINT!
NO WAY.
PLEASE!
JUST A
TINY, LITTLE
HINTY-WINTY.
WHOA! OW!
Sabrina: YOU'LL JUST
HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL TONIGHT.
[MUTTERS ANGRILY]
TV: THAT'S THE LAST
STRAW, ROSS.
I'M LEAVING YOU.
GETTING READY
FOR MY BIRTHDAY
FESTIVITIES, I SEE.
HEE HEE.
HERE WE GO,
LIKE CLOCKWORK.
EVERY YEAR
IT'S A COUNTDOWN TO
THE SALEM BIRTHDAY HOUR.
ALL ABOUT SALEM.
Both: SALEM, SALEM,
SALEM, SALEM, SALEM, SALEM.
I RESENT THAT.
AM I SO WRONG TO EXPECT
THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT ME
TO ALSO CARE
ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY?
WE DO.
WE WILL. LATER.
BUT RIGHT NOW,
THE YOUNG AND RELENTLESS
MARATHON IS ON.
20 HOURS
OF NONSTOP
HEARTBREAK,
AMNESIA,
AND MISTAKEN
IDENTITY.
I SEE HOW I RATE.
DON'T WORRY,
WE'LL CELEBRATE
AS SOON AS YOUNG
DR. VANDERSCUM
MAKES CHIEF
OF STAFF
OR LITTLE SISSY
IS OUT OF HER COMA.
WHICHEVER
COMES FIRST.
BESIDES, WE GOT YOU
A REALLY GREAT PRESENT.
I JUST LIVE
FOR PRESENTS!
COULD MY PRESENT
BE A PAIR OF
FUZZY DICE?
THEY'D GO GREAT
WITH THAT FLEET
OF MODEL Ts
THAT MY GOOD PAL
HENRY ONCE GAVE ME.
HENRY FORD,
THAT IS. HEY!
NICE TRY,
SMART GUY.
A FLEET OF MODEL Ts?
WHAT DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE--
WHAT IS
THE IDEA?
STOP THAT!
SALEM,
HOW COULD
YOU DO THAT?
WE WILL RESUME
OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING
WHEN I GET
MY QUESTION ANSWERED.
I WANNA KNOW JUST
HOW FABULOUS MY PRESENT IS.
DID YOU ARRANGE TO HAVE
A CITY NAMED AFTER ME?
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I ALREADY HAVE ONE.
AAH! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW
THAT I'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN
TERRIFIC BIRTHDAY PRESENTS
FROM MY CELEBRITY FRIENDS.
AND I'M TALKING ABOUT
PEOPLE LIKE AMELIA,
EARHART, THAT IS,
GEORGE WASHINGTON,
AND THE FAMOUS PIRATE
JEAN LE FOOTE.
KEEP THAT IN MIND!
WHATEVER MY PRESENT IS,
JUST MAKE SURE
YOU DIDN'T GET IT
FROM COUSIN AMBROSE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU DIDN'T LIKE
YOUR HAND-KNITTED
PINK IMITATION
ANGORA SWEATER?
IT WAS TOO SMALL,
AND IT HAD A HOOD.
OH!
DON'T YOU JUST
LOVE CHEESY
DO-IT-YOURSELF
GIFTS?
OH, GOOD OLD
COUSIN AMBROSE.
IT WAS A SWEET
THOUGHT, THOUGH.
[MUFFLED]
YEAH, I GUESS.
A CRUMMY PICTURE FRAME?
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
SALEM WILL WANT
SOMETHING BIGGER,
BETTER, MORE EXPENSIVE.
THERE'S NOTHING
IN THE NIFTY GIFTIES,
OR THE L.L. BEAN THERE,
DONE THAT CATALOG.
ANYWAY, I DON'T
UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU CAN'T
JUST GIVE HIM
THE PICTURE FRAME.
YOU WORKED
SO HARD ON IT.
BUT SALEM IS USED
TO GETTING BIG,
COST-A-LOT-OF-
MONEY PRESENTS.
PEOPLE SAY
THEY LIKE SIMPLE,
LITTLE GIFTS,
BUT THEY DON'T.
HEY, ALL I'M GETTING HIM
IS SOME FRESH CATNIP
AND A SQUEEZIE TOY.
CRANKY OLD WARLOCK.
HE'LL LOVE THAT.
[SQUEAKS]
I MEAN IT, CHLOE.
I HAVE TO
GET HIM SOMETHING
OUT THERE, EXOTIC.
LIKE WHAT?
YOU'RE JUST A KID.
YOU CAN'T AFFORD
AN EXTRAVAGANT GIFT.
BESIDES, YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY:
IT'S THE THOUGHT
THAT COUNTS.
GROWN-UPS
JUST SAY THAT
SO THEY DON'T
HAVE TO UP
OUR ALLOWANCES.
HEY, GUYS.
ARE WE GETTING
TOGETHER LATER
TO WORK ON
OUR BOOK REPORTS?
Both: UH-HUH.
COOL.
SEE YA.
WHAT ARE WE
DOING OURS ON?
TIME MACHINE
BY H.G. WELLS.
TIME MACHINE!
THAT'S IT! I GOT IT!
THAT'S HOW
I CAN GIVE SALEM
THE PERFECT
KILLER GIFT.
WHAT?
HMM.
COULD YOU
CLUE ME IN HERE
JUST A LITTLE, OK?
LIKE, YOU'RE PLANNING
TO FIND SALEM'S
BIRTHDAY PRESENT
INSIDE HIS
KITTY CONDO?
OF COURSE NOT.
WHAT WE NEED FROM HERE
IS HIS ADDRESS BOOK.
THEN ALL WE NEED
IS ONE TEENY, LITTLE
THING FROM THE ATTIC.
HUH?
COME ON, MAN.
I GOTTA
BREAK EVEN BEFORE
THE CAT GETS BACK.
EXCUSE ME.
DO YOU GUYS KNOW
WHERE SALEM KEEPS
HIS ADDRESS BOOK?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THERE ANYWAY?
WELL, YOU KNOW,
WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY...
OK, WE'VE GOT
THE ADDRESS BOOK
WHICH GIVES US THE NAMES
OF SOME OF SALEM'S
FAMOUS FRIENDS.
NOW ALL WE NEED TO DO
IS FIND THE RIGHT SPELL
TO GET US WHERE
WE NEED TO GO.
WHOSE ARE THESE?
ZELDA'S LOST
A LITTLE WEIGHT.
[WHISPERING]
We don't talk about it.
ZELDA'S BOX OF OLD SPELLS
HAS TO BE UP HERE SOMEWHERE.
HMM. I'VE NEVER
SEEN THIS BEFORE.
WELL, I'VE NEVER
SEEN YOU BEFORE, EITHER.
UNG! OOH!
WATCH IT!
HA HA HA!
AH.
YES!
HEY, CHLOE,
I THINK I FOUND
THE TIME TRAVEL KIT.
OH, MY GOSH!
WE FOUND IT!
WE FOUND THE SPELL
TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME.
HA HA--HUH?
WE'RE GONNA TRAVEL
BACK IN TIME?
WHAT'S THAT
GOT TO DO WITH
GETTING SALEM
A REALLY
FABULOUS PRESENT?
WE'RE GONNA TRAVEL
BACK IN TIME,
AND WITH
THIS VIDEO CAMERA,
WE'RE GONNA GET SOME
OF SALEM'S FAMOUS FRIENDS
TO WISH HIM
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
IT'LL BE AN AMAZING,
ONE-OF-A-KIND, VIDEO
BIRTHDAY SPECTACULAR.
HMM. TIME TRAVEL,
HUH?
GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
SOUNDS KIND OF,
UH...DANGEROUS.
"WE ARE NOT
LIABLE IN REGARDS
TO LOST LUGGAGE,
LIBRARY BOOKS, OR LIMBS."
YADA, YADA, YADA.
[GASPS]
"OR MISPLACEMENT
OF TRAVELERS
DUE TO UNEXPECTED
GLITCHES IN TIME."
YOU KNOW, MINOR
STUFF LIKE THAT.
"IN ADDITION,
IF THE CASTER
OF THE SPELL
"IS TO GET HOME SAFELY,
"SHE MUST HAVE
THIS COMPASS
IN HER POSSESSION
AT THE TIME
THE SPELL EXPIRES."
"THE LENGTH OF
THE SPELL MAY VARY."
WHAT DO YOU SAY, CHLOE?
WILL YOU COME WITH ME
AND HELP ME?
IT'S MY CHANCE
TO GET SALEM
THE BIGGEST,
BESTEST BIRTHDAY
PRESENT EVER.
I DON'T KNOW.
COME ON. PLEASE?
THINK HOW DISAPPOINTED
HE'S GONNA BE OTHERWISE.
IT'S THIS OR A PICTURE
IN A CHEAP, RECYCLED FRAME.
LET'S DO IT.
CAMERA'S ROLLING.
PROTECTION OF AVEONA
WITH THIS SPELL I CAST,
I ASK YOU TO TAKE US
TO THOSE OF SALEM'S PAST.
HEY, GUYS.
HILDA AND ZELDA SAID
YOU WERE UP HERE.
AND THAT
I SHOULD JUST--
AAH!
[ALL YELLING]
WHERE ARE WE?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT WHEREVER IT IS,
WE'RE HERE.
THE SPELL WORKED.
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
UH-OH.
[GASPS] HARVEY?!
WHAT--UNH.
SABRINA?
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHY AREN'T
WE STILL IN
YOUR ATTIC?
UM, WELL, YOU SEE,
IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING.
RUN! RUN
FOR YOUR LIVES!
AAH!
Man: LOOK, FELLOWS.
FRESH PREY.
All: AAH!
[ALL YELLING]
[MEN SHOUTING]
[GASPS]
[SCREAMS]
SABRINA,
WHAT'S HAPPENING?!
I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT YOU,
BUT THAT PICTURE
FRAME IS STARTING
TO LOOK LIKE
A TERRIFIC PRESENT
RIGHT NOW.
COME ON, CHLOE.
WE'VE GOTTA GO FOR IT.
I'VE GOTTA GET SALEM
A BIG, SHINY PRESENT.
BESIDES, LOOK AT
THE FIRST NAME
ON THE LIST.
AMELIA EARHART,
THE FAMOUS FEMALE PILOT.
YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
YEAH, YOU'RE, LIKE,
THE MOST FAMOUS WOMAN
WHO EVER TRIED TO
FLY AROUND THE WORLD.
TRUE, BUT THE THING
I'M PROBABLY MOST
FAMOUS FOR BY NOW
IS GETTING LOST.
[MEN SHOUTING]
SO WHAT ARE YOU KIDS
DOING HERE ANYWAY?
ACTUALLY, WE'RE HERE
TO ASK YOU A FAVOR. AND--
[MEN SHOUTING]
WHAT KIND OF ISLANDERS
ARE THOSE ANYWAY?
MARTHA'S VINEYARD.
THERE'S NEVER
A MOMENT'S PEACE.
WHAT'S THE FAVOR
YOU NEED?
I DON'T MEAN
TO BE RUDE,
BUT THEY'RE
GAINING ON US.
MAKE IT SNAPPY, OK?
I NEED YOU TO
WISH AN OLD FRIEND
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. IT'S--
[MEN SHOUTING]
[GASPS]
OK, QUIET!
OK, PEOPLE.
WORK WITH ME, HERE.
I'M SHOOTING
A VIDEO.
LET'S HAVE IT
QUIET, OK?
AAH!
[ALL ROAR]
[MEN CHATTER, INDISTINCT]
HOLLYWOOD.
OW!
SO, MISS EARHART,
WHAT I'D LIKE
TO HAVE YOU DO
IS SAY SOMETHING
NICE IN CELEBRATION
OF A VERY
NEAR AND DEAR OLD
FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY.
GO AHEAD AND SEND
A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY
WISH TO...
SALEM.
SALEM?!
[GULPS]
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
I MEAN, WASN'T
SALEM, LIKE,
A REALLY GOOD
FRIEND OF YOURS?
SALEM IS THE REASON
I GOT LOST
AND ENDED UP STUCK
ON THIS STUPID ISLAND!
HE TOLD ME
HE HAD A MAP
THAT WOULD TAKE ME
AROUND THE WORLD
AND MAKE ME A STAR.
[BOTH GASP]
BUT IT WAS A MAP
TO THE STAR'S HOMES.
SALEM! I NEVER WANNA
HEAR THAT NAME AGAIN.
REALLY?
SO I'M GUESSING
THAT MEANS YOU'RE
NOT GONNA WANNA
SEND BIRTHDAY
GREETINGS
TO OLD SALEM?
I SAID I NEVER WANTED
TO HEAR THAT NAME AGAIN!
[BOTH SCREAM]
AAH!
WHOA!
SO MUCH FOR THAT DEAR
FRIEND OF SALEM'S.
WHO'S NEXT?
SOMEBODY REALLY SPECIAL.
THERE ARE 2 STARS
BY HIS NAME IN
THE ADDRESS BOOK.
IT'S SOME GUY
NAMED GEORGE.
[BUZZER RINGS]
HUH?
WARNING: SPELL
TRANSPORTING TIME
TRAVELERS NOW.
TIME WHAT?
[MEN SHOUTING]
SALEM!
I HATE SALEM!
WHA--FIRST, HOSTILE
TENNIS-PLAYING ISLANDERS,
NOW I'M GETTING SEASICK.
THIS IS THE WORST
DREAM I'VE EVER HAD.
GEORGE WASHINGTON?
WOW! SALEM IS
SOME HEAVY HITTER.
GOOD MORNING,
MR. PRESIDENT.
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
WHO ARE YOU?!
WE'RE HERE BECAUSE
WE'RE MAKING
THIS REALLY
AMAZINGLY
FABULOUS PRESENT
FOR YOUR OLD
FRIEND SALEM.
SALEM?!
HE'S A FRIEND
OF YOURS, RIGHT?
I MEAN, YOU DO
REMEMBER HIM?
MY DEAR, I THINK OF HIM
EVERY TIME I CHEW
AND EVERY TIME
I END UP WITH A TONGUE
FULL OF SPLINTERS.
UM, I THOUGHT
I READ SOMEWHERE
THAT THAT THING
ABOUT YOU HAVING
WOODEN TEETH
WASN'T REALLY TRUE.
WELL, DON'T BELIEVE
EVERYTHING YOU READ,
YOUNG LADY.
DO YOU KNOW WHY
MY TEETH ARE WOODEN?
I WAS OUT BY
MY FATHER'S CHERRY TREE.
I WAS SHARPENING MY AXE.
SALEM WAS
PRACTICING THE TANGO
WITH UNTIED SHOELACES.
HE TRIPPED.
HE SLAMMED INTO ME,
MY AXE SLAMMED
INTO THE TREE,
AND IT FELL ON ME!
AAH!
UH-OH.
YOU'VE DISTRACTED ME
WITH ALL THAT TALK OF SALEM!
NOW WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!
THE BRITISH ARE COMING!
OH, PLEASE LET IT BE
TIME TO GO.
COME ON! COME ON!
DO SOMETHING!
I THINK
I'M GONNA BE SICK.
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
WARNING:
SPELL TRANSPORTING
TIME TRAVELERS NOW.
I HATE SALEM!
All: WHOA.
WHERE ARE WE NOW?
GREAT! THIS GUY HAS
3 STARS BY HIS NAME.
I'M GUESSING
THIS MUST
BE THE SHIP
OF ONE OF SALEM'S
BEST FRIENDS.
[FRENCH ACCENT]
THE FAMOUS PIRATE
JEAN LE FOOTE.
THIS BOAT'S
NOT ROCKING. COOL!
I HOPE THIS WORKS.
THE SPELL COULD WEAR
OFF ANY MINUTE NOW.
THIS COULD
BE MY LAST CHANCE
TO GET SALEM A
REALLY MONSTER GIFT.
AHOY THERE, CHILDREN!
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHO YOU ARE
OR WHY YOU'RE
DRESSED IN THOSE
RIDICULOUS CLOTHES,
BUT WELCOME TO
MY HUMBLE PIRATE SHIP.
JEAN LE FOOTE
AT YOUR SERVICE.
FROTHING ROOT BEERS
ALL AROUND FOR
MY NEW FRIENDS.
THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY
MAGICIANS OF SOME SORT.
[CAN-CAN MUSIC PLAYS]
EXCUSE ME,
MR. PIRATE, SIR. I--
HUH?
WHOA!
WHOA! THIS DREAM
IS GETTING GOOD.
I REALLY NEED TO
ASK YOU FOR A FAVOR.
YES, OF COURSE.
ANYTHING.
WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T MENTION--
WHOA! PIRATES!
WOULD YOU SEND
A BIRTHDAY GREETING
TO YOUR OLD PAL SALEM?
SALEM. THAT'S WHAT
I WAS GONNA SAY
NOT TO MENTION.
SALEM?
WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING
ABOUT SABRINA'S CAT?
SALEM?!
BECAUSE OF SALEM,
MY SWORD PRIVILEGES
WERE TAKEN FROM ME,
AND I AM REDUCED
TO USING THIS!
I CANNOT GO
INTO THE DETAILS.
THEY ARE TOO SORDID.
BUT, OH, THE HUMILIATION!
FORCED TO WEAR
A LAWN FLAMINGO
IN PLACE OF A SWORD.
AND IT'S PLASTIC, NO LESS.
BECAUSE OF SALEM,
MY SWORD WAS TAKEN.
IN ITS PLACE,
I TAKE THIS!
YOU CAN'T!
I JUST DID.
[CRIES] NOW WE'LL
NEVER GET HOME,
AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I JUST WANTED
TO GET SALEM
A KILLER PRESENT
INSTEAD OF THE CHEAP
LAME-O THING I WAS
GONNA GIVE HIM.
A PRESENT?
ALL THIS
FOR A PRESENT?
SILLY GIRL.
DON'T YOU KNOW
THAT WITH PRESENTS
IT'S THE THOUGHT
THAT COUNTS?
I SAID THAT.
WHO CARES
WHO SAID IT?
ALL I KNOW IS THAT
I WANT MY COMPASS BACK.
WELL, I WANT
MY SWORD
PRIVILEGES BACK.
TAKE THESE TWO
TO THE BRIG.
THIS ONE
IS COMING WITH ME.
IF YOU
DON'T COOPERATE,
I WILL FEED
YOUR LITTLE PLAYMATES
TO THE SHARKS!
HA HA HA!
OK, I'M READY
TO WAKE UP NOW!
AND WHEN I DO,
I WANNA BE
IN MY OWN HOUSE,
IN MY OWN BED,
IN MY CAPTAIN GUANO
JAMMIES!
IF YOU EVER
WANNA SEE THOSE
JAMMIES AGAIN, HARV,
YOU BETTER SAVE SABRINA
AND GET THAT COMPASS BACK.
HOW AM I GONNA DO THAT?
HMM.
AHH.
WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM OUR...FRIENDS.
♪ LA LA LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪
[BUZZER RINGS]
WARNING: 5 MINUTES
AND COUNTING UNTIL
THE SPELL WEARS OFF.
IT'S A RACE,
AND YOU'RE LOSING.
BUT I TOLD YOU,
I CAN'T GET YOUR
SWORD PRIVILEGES BACK.
MY MAGIC DOESN'T
WORK LIKE THAT.
WHAT DO YOU
WANT FROM ME?
Chloe: GOT IT!
GET THE COMPASS!
HA HA HA!
YOU WANT THE COMPASS?
YOU HAVE TO DUEL FOR IT!
EN GARDE!
OH, NO!
WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN?
WHY DID I HAVE TO GO
CHASING AFTER SOME
HUGE PRESENT?
WHY DIDN'T
I JUST GIVE SALEM
THE STUPID LITTLE
PICTURE FRAME?
HARVEY, BE CAREFUL!
SAVE THE ADVICE!
I COULD USE
A LITTLE HELP!
WHAT? YOU NEED KELP?
I HATE SALEM!
[BUZZER RINGS]
WARNING--
WE KNOW!
I'M AWAKE, RIGHT?
UH, RIGHT!
BUT I WAS
ASLEEP, RIGHT?
RIGHT. YOU CHECKED
OUT RIGHT AFTER
YOU GOT HERE.
IN FACT, YOU STILL
LOOK A LITTLE GROGGY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY
I WALK YOU HOME?
I GUESS
IT'S TIME FOR
SALEM'S CELEBRATION.
WHERE IS
THE LITTLE PRINCESS?
I'M RIGHT HERE.
THANK YOU
FOR MY PRESENT.
I LOVE IT.
I FOUND WHERE
YOU HID IT.
IN THE TRASH.
PRETTY CLEVER.
ACTUALLY,
I THREW IT OUT.
I FIGURED THERE WAS
NO WAY A DINKY PRESENT
THAT DIDN'T COST
A LOT OF MONEY
COULD EVER COMPETE
WITH THE AMAZING STUFF
YOU'RE USED TO GETTING.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
PRESENTS AREN'T
ABOUT THE MONEY.
THIS IS
THE BEST GIFT ANYONE
HAS EVER GIVEN ME.
Television: TUNE IN
FOR NEXT MONTH'S MARATHON
WHEN WE FIND OUT
WHAT BIFF CHOOSES.
WILL IT BE THAT
VERY SPECIAL SURGERY
HE'S BEEN WANTING?
OR WILL IT BE
A SHAM MARRIAGE
TO THE COLD
BUT FILTHY RICH FIFI?
Both: NEXT MONTH!
WOW, I'VE NEVER HAD
A FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH
WITH ME
AND SOMEONE ELSE.
WHAT?
EVERY PHOTO
I HAVE IS OF,
WELL, JUST ME.
HOW COME?
BECAUSE, DARLING,
IT'S MY WORLD
AND YOU PEOPLE
JUST LIVE IN IT.
YEAH, BABY! YEAH!
[EVERYONE LAUGHING]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT
FREAKS.
SAVAGE, WE LOVE YOU.
♪ SHE'S GOT
A SUPERSTAR CAT ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE IT'S AT ♪
♪ STAND UP
AND RAISE YOUR HAT ♪
♪ SHE'S A SPELLBOUND
ACROBAT ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ HERE COMES THE FUN NOW ♪
♪ ARE YOU READY? ♪
♪ COME HAVE A RIDE ♪
♪ GET HAPPY ♪
♪ SO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? ♪
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ FOR SUPER MAGIC
CALL SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
♪ YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
SHE'LL BEWITCH YOU ♪
HA HA!
♪ SHE'S THE GREATEST ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
DIC ENTERTAINMENT
♪ DUM DE DUM DUM DUM ♪
♪ DA-DA-DA DA DA DA ♪
♪ DA-DA DA-DA ♪
♪ SABRINA ♪
SALEM'S BIRTHDAY.
BOY, I HOPE
HE LIKES HIS PRESENT.
IT TOOK ME
A MILLION HOURS
TO MOLD THIS OLD WAND
INTO A FRAME.
HEE HEE HEE!
WHAT YOU DOING?
WHAT'S WITH THE CAT
ON THE HOT TIN BED ROUTINE?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
HEH HEH.
CHECKING FOR DUST?
AH.
YOU LITTLE SNEAK.
YOU'RE TRYING
TO FIND YOUR
BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
THAT'S RIGHT, BABY.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY,
AND I LOVE IT ALL--
THE PARTY, THE BALLOONS,
THE CAKE, THE FUSS.
AND MOST OF ALL,
THE PRESENTS.
'CAUSE IT'S ALL
ABOUT THE PRESENTS.
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
WHAT YOU GOT THERE?
IS, UH,
IS THAT FOR MOI?
YES--NO.
I MEAN, MAYBE.
PLEASE GIVE ME
A HINT!
NO WAY.
PLEASE!
JUST A
TINY, LITTLE
HINTY-WINTY.
WHOA! OW!
Sabrina: YOU'LL JUST
HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL TONIGHT.
[MUTTERS ANGRILY]
TV: THAT'S THE LAST
STRAW, ROSS.
I'M LEAVING YOU.
GETTING READY
FOR MY BIRTHDAY
FESTIVITIES, I SEE.
HEE HEE.
HERE WE GO,
LIKE CLOCKWORK.
EVERY YEAR
IT'S A COUNTDOWN TO
THE SALEM BIRTHDAY HOUR.
ALL ABOUT SALEM.
Both: SALEM, SALEM,
SALEM, SALEM, SALEM, SALEM.
I RESENT THAT.
AM I SO WRONG TO EXPECT
THOSE WHO CARE ABOUT ME
TO ALSO CARE
ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY?
WE DO.
WE WILL. LATER.
BUT RIGHT NOW,
THE YOUNG AND RELENTLESS
MARATHON IS ON.
20 HOURS
OF NONSTOP
HEARTBREAK,
AMNESIA,
AND MISTAKEN
IDENTITY.
I SEE HOW I RATE.
DON'T WORRY,
WE'LL CELEBRATE
AS SOON AS YOUNG
DR. VANDERSCUM
MAKES CHIEF
OF STAFF
OR LITTLE SISSY
IS OUT OF HER COMA.
WHICHEVER
COMES FIRST.
BESIDES, WE GOT YOU
A REALLY GREAT PRESENT.
I JUST LIVE
FOR PRESENTS!
COULD MY PRESENT
BE A PAIR OF
FUZZY DICE?
THEY'D GO GREAT
WITH THAT FLEET
OF MODEL Ts
THAT MY GOOD PAL
HENRY ONCE GAVE ME.
HENRY FORD,
THAT IS. HEY!
NICE TRY,
SMART GUY.
A FLEET OF MODEL Ts?
WHAT DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE--
WHAT IS
THE IDEA?
STOP THAT!
SALEM,
HOW COULD
YOU DO THAT?
WE WILL RESUME
OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING
WHEN I GET
MY QUESTION ANSWERED.
I WANNA KNOW JUST
HOW FABULOUS MY PRESENT IS.
DID YOU ARRANGE TO HAVE
A CITY NAMED AFTER ME?
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I ALREADY HAVE ONE.
AAH! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW
THAT I'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN
TERRIFIC BIRTHDAY PRESENTS
FROM MY CELEBRITY FRIENDS.
AND I'M TALKING ABOUT
PEOPLE LIKE AMELIA,
EARHART, THAT IS,
GEORGE WASHINGTON,
AND THE FAMOUS PIRATE
JEAN LE FOOTE.
KEEP THAT IN MIND!
WHATEVER MY PRESENT IS,
JUST MAKE SURE
YOU DIDN'T GET IT
FROM COUSIN AMBROSE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU DIDN'T LIKE
YOUR HAND-KNITTED
PINK IMITATION
ANGORA SWEATER?
IT WAS TOO SMALL,
AND IT HAD A HOOD.
OH!
DON'T YOU JUST
LOVE CHEESY
DO-IT-YOURSELF
GIFTS?
OH, GOOD OLD
COUSIN AMBROSE.
IT WAS A SWEET
THOUGHT, THOUGH.
[MUFFLED]
YEAH, I GUESS.
A CRUMMY PICTURE FRAME?
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
SALEM WILL WANT
SOMETHING BIGGER,
BETTER, MORE EXPENSIVE.
THERE'S NOTHING
IN THE NIFTY GIFTIES,
OR THE L.L. BEAN THERE,
DONE THAT CATALOG.
ANYWAY, I DON'T
UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU CAN'T
JUST GIVE HIM
THE PICTURE FRAME.
YOU WORKED
SO HARD ON IT.
BUT SALEM IS USED
TO GETTING BIG,
COST-A-LOT-OF-
MONEY PRESENTS.
PEOPLE SAY
THEY LIKE SIMPLE,
LITTLE GIFTS,
BUT THEY DON'T.
HEY, ALL I'M GETTING HIM
IS SOME FRESH CATNIP
AND A SQUEEZIE TOY.
CRANKY OLD WARLOCK.
HE'LL LOVE THAT.
[SQUEAKS]
I MEAN IT, CHLOE.
I HAVE TO
GET HIM SOMETHING
OUT THERE, EXOTIC.
LIKE WHAT?
YOU'RE JUST A KID.
YOU CAN'T AFFORD
AN EXTRAVAGANT GIFT.
BESIDES, YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY:
IT'S THE THOUGHT
THAT COUNTS.
GROWN-UPS
JUST SAY THAT
SO THEY DON'T
HAVE TO UP
OUR ALLOWANCES.
HEY, GUYS.
ARE WE GETTING
TOGETHER LATER
TO WORK ON
OUR BOOK REPORTS?
Both: UH-HUH.
COOL.
SEE YA.
WHAT ARE WE
DOING OURS ON?
TIME MACHINE
BY H.G. WELLS.
TIME MACHINE!
THAT'S IT! I GOT IT!
THAT'S HOW
I CAN GIVE SALEM
THE PERFECT
KILLER GIFT.
WHAT?
HMM.
COULD YOU
CLUE ME IN HERE
JUST A LITTLE, OK?
LIKE, YOU'RE PLANNING
TO FIND SALEM'S
BIRTHDAY PRESENT
INSIDE HIS
KITTY CONDO?
OF COURSE NOT.
WHAT WE NEED FROM HERE
IS HIS ADDRESS BOOK.
THEN ALL WE NEED
IS ONE TEENY, LITTLE
THING FROM THE ATTIC.
HUH?
COME ON, MAN.
I GOTTA
BREAK EVEN BEFORE
THE CAT GETS BACK.
EXCUSE ME.
DO YOU GUYS KNOW
WHERE SALEM KEEPS
HIS ADDRESS BOOK?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THERE ANYWAY?
WELL, YOU KNOW,
WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY...
OK, WE'VE GOT
THE ADDRESS BOOK
WHICH GIVES US THE NAMES
OF SOME OF SALEM'S
FAMOUS FRIENDS.
NOW ALL WE NEED TO DO
IS FIND THE RIGHT SPELL
TO GET US WHERE
WE NEED TO GO.
WHOSE ARE THESE?
ZELDA'S LOST
A LITTLE WEIGHT.
[WHISPERING]
We don't talk about it.
ZELDA'S BOX OF OLD SPELLS
HAS TO BE UP HERE SOMEWHERE.
HMM. I'VE NEVER
SEEN THIS BEFORE.
WELL, I'VE NEVER
SEEN YOU BEFORE, EITHER.
UNG! OOH!
WATCH IT!
HA HA HA!
AH.
YES!
HEY, CHLOE,
I THINK I FOUND
THE TIME TRAVEL KIT.
OH, MY GOSH!
WE FOUND IT!
WE FOUND THE SPELL
TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME.
HA HA--HUH?
WE'RE GONNA TRAVEL
BACK IN TIME?
WHAT'S THAT
GOT TO DO WITH
GETTING SALEM
A REALLY
FABULOUS PRESENT?
WE'RE GONNA TRAVEL
BACK IN TIME,
AND WITH
THIS VIDEO CAMERA,
WE'RE GONNA GET SOME
OF SALEM'S FAMOUS FRIENDS
TO WISH HIM
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
IT'LL BE AN AMAZING,
ONE-OF-A-KIND, VIDEO
BIRTHDAY SPECTACULAR.
HMM. TIME TRAVEL,
HUH?
GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
SOUNDS KIND OF,
UH...DANGEROUS.
"WE ARE NOT
LIABLE IN REGARDS
TO LOST LUGGAGE,
LIBRARY BOOKS, OR LIMBS."
YADA, YADA, YADA.
[GASPS]
"OR MISPLACEMENT
OF TRAVELERS
DUE TO UNEXPECTED
GLITCHES IN TIME."
YOU KNOW, MINOR
STUFF LIKE THAT.
"IN ADDITION,
IF THE CASTER
OF THE SPELL
"IS TO GET HOME SAFELY,
"SHE MUST HAVE
THIS COMPASS
IN HER POSSESSION
AT THE TIME
THE SPELL EXPIRES."
"THE LENGTH OF
THE SPELL MAY VARY."
WHAT DO YOU SAY, CHLOE?
WILL YOU COME WITH ME
AND HELP ME?
IT'S MY CHANCE
TO GET SALEM
THE BIGGEST,
BESTEST BIRTHDAY
PRESENT EVER.
I DON'T KNOW.
COME ON. PLEASE?
THINK HOW DISAPPOINTED
HE'S GONNA BE OTHERWISE.
IT'S THIS OR A PICTURE
IN A CHEAP, RECYCLED FRAME.
LET'S DO IT.
CAMERA'S ROLLING.
PROTECTION OF AVEONA
WITH THIS SPELL I CAST,
I ASK YOU TO TAKE US
TO THOSE OF SALEM'S PAST.
HEY, GUYS.
HILDA AND ZELDA SAID
YOU WERE UP HERE.
AND THAT
I SHOULD JUST--
AAH!
[ALL YELLING]
WHERE ARE WE?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT WHEREVER IT IS,
WE'RE HERE.
THE SPELL WORKED.
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
UH-OH.
[GASPS] HARVEY?!
WHAT--UNH.
SABRINA?
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHY AREN'T
WE STILL IN
YOUR ATTIC?
UM, WELL, YOU SEE,
IT'S THE FUNNIEST THING.
RUN! RUN
FOR YOUR LIVES!
AAH!
Man: LOOK, FELLOWS.
FRESH PREY.
All: AAH!
[ALL YELLING]
[MEN SHOUTING]
[GASPS]
[SCREAMS]
SABRINA,
WHAT'S HAPPENING?!
I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT YOU,
BUT THAT PICTURE
FRAME IS STARTING
TO LOOK LIKE
A TERRIFIC PRESENT
RIGHT NOW.
COME ON, CHLOE.
WE'VE GOTTA GO FOR IT.
I'VE GOTTA GET SALEM
A BIG, SHINY PRESENT.
BESIDES, LOOK AT
THE FIRST NAME
ON THE LIST.
AMELIA EARHART,
THE FAMOUS FEMALE PILOT.
YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
YEAH, YOU'RE, LIKE,
THE MOST FAMOUS WOMAN
WHO EVER TRIED TO
FLY AROUND THE WORLD.
TRUE, BUT THE THING
I'M PROBABLY MOST
FAMOUS FOR BY NOW
IS GETTING LOST.
[MEN SHOUTING]
SO WHAT ARE YOU KIDS
DOING HERE ANYWAY?
ACTUALLY, WE'RE HERE
TO ASK YOU A FAVOR. AND--
[MEN SHOUTING]
WHAT KIND OF ISLANDERS
ARE THOSE ANYWAY?
MARTHA'S VINEYARD.
THERE'S NEVER
A MOMENT'S PEACE.
WHAT'S THE FAVOR
YOU NEED?
I DON'T MEAN
TO BE RUDE,
BUT THEY'RE
GAINING ON US.
MAKE IT SNAPPY, OK?
I NEED YOU TO
WISH AN OLD FRIEND
A HAPPY BIRTHDAY. IT'S--
[MEN SHOUTING]
[GASPS]
OK, QUIET!
OK, PEOPLE.
WORK WITH ME, HERE.
I'M SHOOTING
A VIDEO.
LET'S HAVE IT
QUIET, OK?
AAH!
[ALL ROAR]
[MEN CHATTER, INDISTINCT]
HOLLYWOOD.
OW!
SO, MISS EARHART,
WHAT I'D LIKE
TO HAVE YOU DO
IS SAY SOMETHING
NICE IN CELEBRATION
OF A VERY
NEAR AND DEAR OLD
FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY.
GO AHEAD AND SEND
A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY
WISH TO...
SALEM.
SALEM?!
[GULPS]
IS THERE A PROBLEM?
I MEAN, WASN'T
SALEM, LIKE,
A REALLY GOOD
FRIEND OF YOURS?
SALEM IS THE REASON
I GOT LOST
AND ENDED UP STUCK
ON THIS STUPID ISLAND!
HE TOLD ME
HE HAD A MAP
THAT WOULD TAKE ME
AROUND THE WORLD
AND MAKE ME A STAR.
[BOTH GASP]
BUT IT WAS A MAP
TO THE STAR'S HOMES.
SALEM! I NEVER WANNA
HEAR THAT NAME AGAIN.
REALLY?
SO I'M GUESSING
THAT MEANS YOU'RE
NOT GONNA WANNA
SEND BIRTHDAY
GREETINGS
TO OLD SALEM?
I SAID I NEVER WANTED
TO HEAR THAT NAME AGAIN!
[BOTH SCREAM]
AAH!
WHOA!
SO MUCH FOR THAT DEAR
FRIEND OF SALEM'S.
WHO'S NEXT?
SOMEBODY REALLY SPECIAL.
THERE ARE 2 STARS
BY HIS NAME IN
THE ADDRESS BOOK.
IT'S SOME GUY
NAMED GEORGE.
[BUZZER RINGS]
HUH?
WARNING: SPELL
TRANSPORTING TIME
TRAVELERS NOW.
TIME WHAT?
[MEN SHOUTING]
SALEM!
I HATE SALEM!
WHA--FIRST, HOSTILE
TENNIS-PLAYING ISLANDERS,
NOW I'M GETTING SEASICK.
THIS IS THE WORST
DREAM I'VE EVER HAD.
GEORGE WASHINGTON?
WOW! SALEM IS
SOME HEAVY HITTER.
GOOD MORNING,
MR. PRESIDENT.
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
WHO ARE YOU?!
WE'RE HERE BECAUSE
WE'RE MAKING
THIS REALLY
AMAZINGLY
FABULOUS PRESENT
FOR YOUR OLD
FRIEND SALEM.
SALEM?!
HE'S A FRIEND
OF YOURS, RIGHT?
I MEAN, YOU DO
REMEMBER HIM?
MY DEAR, I THINK OF HIM
EVERY TIME I CHEW
AND EVERY TIME
I END UP WITH A TONGUE
FULL OF SPLINTERS.
UM, I THOUGHT
I READ SOMEWHERE
THAT THAT THING
ABOUT YOU HAVING
WOODEN TEETH
WASN'T REALLY TRUE.
WELL, DON'T BELIEVE
EVERYTHING YOU READ,
YOUNG LADY.
DO YOU KNOW WHY
MY TEETH ARE WOODEN?
I WAS OUT BY
MY FATHER'S CHERRY TREE.
I WAS SHARPENING MY AXE.
SALEM WAS
PRACTICING THE TANGO
WITH UNTIED SHOELACES.
HE TRIPPED.
HE SLAMMED INTO ME,
MY AXE SLAMMED
INTO THE TREE,
AND IT FELL ON ME!
AAH!
UH-OH.
YOU'VE DISTRACTED ME
WITH ALL THAT TALK OF SALEM!
NOW WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!
THE BRITISH ARE COMING!
OH, PLEASE LET IT BE
TIME TO GO.
COME ON! COME ON!
DO SOMETHING!
I THINK
I'M GONNA BE SICK.
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
WARNING:
SPELL TRANSPORTING
TIME TRAVELERS NOW.
I HATE SALEM!
All: WHOA.
WHERE ARE WE NOW?
GREAT! THIS GUY HAS
3 STARS BY HIS NAME.
I'M GUESSING
THIS MUST
BE THE SHIP
OF ONE OF SALEM'S
BEST FRIENDS.
[FRENCH ACCENT]
THE FAMOUS PIRATE
JEAN LE FOOTE.
THIS BOAT'S
NOT ROCKING. COOL!
I HOPE THIS WORKS.
THE SPELL COULD WEAR
OFF ANY MINUTE NOW.
THIS COULD
BE MY LAST CHANCE
TO GET SALEM A
REALLY MONSTER GIFT.
AHOY THERE, CHILDREN!
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHO YOU ARE
OR WHY YOU'RE
DRESSED IN THOSE
RIDICULOUS CLOTHES,
BUT WELCOME TO
MY HUMBLE PIRATE SHIP.
JEAN LE FOOTE
AT YOUR SERVICE.
FROTHING ROOT BEERS
ALL AROUND FOR
MY NEW FRIENDS.
THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY
MAGICIANS OF SOME SORT.
[CAN-CAN MUSIC PLAYS]
EXCUSE ME,
MR. PIRATE, SIR. I--
HUH?
WHOA!
WHOA! THIS DREAM
IS GETTING GOOD.
I REALLY NEED TO
ASK YOU FOR A FAVOR.
YES, OF COURSE.
ANYTHING.
WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T MENTION--
WHOA! PIRATES!
WOULD YOU SEND
A BIRTHDAY GREETING
TO YOUR OLD PAL SALEM?
SALEM. THAT'S WHAT
I WAS GONNA SAY
NOT TO MENTION.
SALEM?
WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING
ABOUT SABRINA'S CAT?
SALEM?!
BECAUSE OF SALEM,
MY SWORD PRIVILEGES
WERE TAKEN FROM ME,
AND I AM REDUCED
TO USING THIS!
I CANNOT GO
INTO THE DETAILS.
THEY ARE TOO SORDID.
BUT, OH, THE HUMILIATION!
FORCED TO WEAR
A LAWN FLAMINGO
IN PLACE OF A SWORD.
AND IT'S PLASTIC, NO LESS.
BECAUSE OF SALEM,
MY SWORD WAS TAKEN.
IN ITS PLACE,
I TAKE THIS!
YOU CAN'T!
I JUST DID.
[CRIES] NOW WE'LL
NEVER GET HOME,
AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I JUST WANTED
TO GET SALEM
A KILLER PRESENT
INSTEAD OF THE CHEAP
LAME-O THING I WAS
GONNA GIVE HIM.
A PRESENT?
ALL THIS
FOR A PRESENT?
SILLY GIRL.
DON'T YOU KNOW
THAT WITH PRESENTS
IT'S THE THOUGHT
THAT COUNTS?
I SAID THAT.
WHO CARES
WHO SAID IT?
ALL I KNOW IS THAT
I WANT MY COMPASS BACK.
WELL, I WANT
MY SWORD
PRIVILEGES BACK.
TAKE THESE TWO
TO THE BRIG.
THIS ONE
IS COMING WITH ME.
IF YOU
DON'T COOPERATE,
I WILL FEED
YOUR LITTLE PLAYMATES
TO THE SHARKS!
HA HA HA!
OK, I'M READY
TO WAKE UP NOW!
AND WHEN I DO,
I WANNA BE
IN MY OWN HOUSE,
IN MY OWN BED,
IN MY CAPTAIN GUANO
JAMMIES!
IF YOU EVER
WANNA SEE THOSE
JAMMIES AGAIN, HARV,
YOU BETTER SAVE SABRINA
AND GET THAT COMPASS BACK.
HOW AM I GONNA DO THAT?
HMM.
AHH.
WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM OUR...FRIENDS.
♪ LA LA LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪
[BUZZER RINGS]
WARNING: 5 MINUTES
AND COUNTING UNTIL
THE SPELL WEARS OFF.
IT'S A RACE,
AND YOU'RE LOSING.
BUT I TOLD YOU,
I CAN'T GET YOUR
SWORD PRIVILEGES BACK.
MY MAGIC DOESN'T
WORK LIKE THAT.
WHAT DO YOU
WANT FROM ME?
Chloe: GOT IT!
GET THE COMPASS!
HA HA HA!
YOU WANT THE COMPASS?
YOU HAVE TO DUEL FOR IT!
EN GARDE!
OH, NO!
WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN?
WHY DID I HAVE TO GO
CHASING AFTER SOME
HUGE PRESENT?
WHY DIDN'T
I JUST GIVE SALEM
THE STUPID LITTLE
PICTURE FRAME?
HARVEY, BE CAREFUL!
SAVE THE ADVICE!
I COULD USE
A LITTLE HELP!
WHAT? YOU NEED KELP?
I HATE SALEM!
[BUZZER RINGS]
WARNING--
WE KNOW!
I'M AWAKE, RIGHT?
UH, RIGHT!
BUT I WAS
ASLEEP, RIGHT?
RIGHT. YOU CHECKED
OUT RIGHT AFTER
YOU GOT HERE.
IN FACT, YOU STILL
LOOK A LITTLE GROGGY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY
I WALK YOU HOME?
I GUESS
IT'S TIME FOR
SALEM'S CELEBRATION.
WHERE IS
THE LITTLE PRINCESS?
I'M RIGHT HERE.
THANK YOU
FOR MY PRESENT.
I LOVE IT.
I FOUND WHERE
YOU HID IT.
IN THE TRASH.
PRETTY CLEVER.
ACTUALLY,
I THREW IT OUT.
I FIGURED THERE WAS
NO WAY A DINKY PRESENT
THAT DIDN'T COST
A LOT OF MONEY
COULD EVER COMPETE
WITH THE AMAZING STUFF
YOU'RE USED TO GETTING.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
PRESENTS AREN'T
ABOUT THE MONEY.
THIS IS
THE BEST GIFT ANYONE
HAS EVER GIVEN ME.
Television: TUNE IN
FOR NEXT MONTH'S MARATHON
WHEN WE FIND OUT
WHAT BIFF CHOOSES.
WILL IT BE THAT
VERY SPECIAL SURGERY
HE'S BEEN WANTING?
OR WILL IT BE
A SHAM MARRIAGE
TO THE COLD
BUT FILTHY RICH FIFI?
Both: NEXT MONTH!
WOW, I'VE NEVER HAD
A FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH
WITH ME
AND SOMEONE ELSE.
WHAT?
EVERY PHOTO
I HAVE IS OF,
WELL, JUST ME.
HOW COME?
BECAUSE, DARLING,
IT'S MY WORLD
AND YOU PEOPLE
JUST LIVE IN IT.
YEAH, BABY! YEAH!
[EVERYONE LAUGHING]
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
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