Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 18 - Once Upon a Whine - full transcript

After ignoring an important household rule, Sabrina finds that she has caused Cinderella to appear in Greendale. She discovers that Cindy is a whiney, lazy, jerk. When Sabrina tries to send Cindy back she accidentally sends Harvey to fairy tale land! She must return Cinderella back to where she belongs and retrieve Harvey before her family finds out she didn't follow the rules.

Uh-oh.

-Wow!
-Aah!

Whoa!

Aah! No!

I just can't make up my mind.

Ah!

Wrap up the magic act
and go with the green.

I thought cats only saw
in black and white.

That's dogs.
Eww! Disgusting creatures.

You're sure you'd go with the green?
Then red it is!

Oh, gee!



And just where do you think you're going,
young lady?

To the mall, Uncle Quigley.

Chloe's going to meet me there.
It's Saturday, and--

And Saturday is your what?

Chore day.

And the rule in this house is....

You don't go anywhere
before your chores are finished.

Remember the family meeting.

Yours was the deciding vote.

"Chores not finished during the week
have to be done...

...first thing Saturday morning."

But I only voted that way
to get out of doing chores on Friday night!

I have the feeling
this is going to get unpleasant.

Speaking of unpleasant, Salem,
don't you have a cat box to clean?



Dumb rules! Oh!

Rules are there for a reason, Sabrina.

It's important to follow them.

Wrong-o, Uncle Quig! What's important
right now is to blow through my chores...

...and get to the mall!

Helen Houdini's cornflakes!

How could I have put off
so many things?

That's why we should follow the what?

-Child labor laws?
-No, the rules!

I guesstimate
it'll take no more than two hours, tops.

Two hours?

I haven't got two hours
to waste doing chores.

And no magic!

Aah!

Sorry, in a hurry!

Nice outfit!

Gunning for Mr. Blackspell's
"10 worst dressed" list?

Sorry, in a hurry!

Ahh...
Ah-choo!

- Watch it!
- Watch it?

Maybe a "bless you"
or "sorry about the sniffles, Salem."

That would have been nice.

Oh, thank heavens. It's not broken.

Your one-eighth inch scale model of
a UFO for this year's Roswell convention.

Hand it over
and I'll have it dusted for you in a flash.

No, Sabrina.
No one is supposed to touch this.

-It's a rule, remember?
-Sorry, forgot the rule.

Maybe this "don't touch" sign
will help remind you.

Yeah, that'll help.

Sabrina, I'm going out to run an errand.
I'll be back in a bit.

Okay, Uncle Quigley.

Great. Now I've finally got the place
to myself.

I'll be done in no time.

Ta-da!

Only two more chores left.

Dust the bookshelf in my room,
and the Spookie Jar.

And I've still got time
to meet Chloe at the mall.

If I hurry.

Look at this new setup
Uncle Quigley made for the Spookie Jar.

That guy has way too much
time on his hands.

Whoa!

The Spookie
Jar is for the casting of spells...

...and incantations only.

For your own safety and for the protection
of those around you, Sabrina...

-Huh?
-...please wash your hands...

...after handling the Spookie Jar.

I think Uncle Quigley
has finally jumped his track.

It was only a matter of time.

Any violation of the hand-washing rule...

...could result in traces of magic
dust being left on your fingers...

...and this could cause some, uh, um....

Uh, problematic, uh, problems.

That's done. Now all that's left
is the bookshelf in my room.

Hey, hey, hey! No pit stop
for a nice hand washing?

I'm a little pressed for time, okay?

Besides,
it's just another dumb family rule.

How important can it be, anyway?

You don't have to convince me.

You're talking to the Mark McGwire
of rule-breakers here.

For centuries,
I've been saying that rules...

...like home run records,
are meant to be broken.

Cinderella.
Now this one I don't mind dusting.

It was my favorite storybook
when I was little.

Whoa! Aah!

Who are you?

Cinderella, in the flesh.

Oh, I love this. I'm free!
No more cottage in the woods...

...no more chores! This is great!

Hey, you got any munchies?
Maybe some porridge?

And where's the well?
I'm a little thirsty.

Is it me, or is it stuffy in here?

Oh boy, do we have a problem.

I'd say a little Spookie Jar magic dust
wiped off on your storybook.

I didn't wash my hands.
What am I going to do?

If Quig finds out that I broke that rule,
I'll be grounded for the rest of my life!

Nice closet. Yours?

You know who has a lot of clothes?

The Queen of Hearts. She tells everyone
she's a size six. Who's she kidding?

The woman has a backside
the size of an ox cart.

Oof. The last time
I heard a sound like that...

...it was coming from
a broken garbage disposal.

I don't want to be a bother,
but do you mind losing the creepy cat?

I'm allergic.

Hold it, Salem!

You've got to stay
and help me out of this.

I'm not the one who didn't wash my hands
after dusting the Spookie Jar.

You don't have hands.

Will the insults never end?

Talking cats bug me.
Back where I come from...

...in Once-Upon-a-Time Land,
the Cheshire Cat won't shut up.

Yak, yak, yak.

A real motor mouth, that one.

Do you always laugh so loud?

You want to talk loud,
try having a conversation with that giant...

...who lives at the top of the beanstalk
with the "fe, fi, fo, fum" all day long.

I don't know how to say this,
but ever hear the rule...

...about picking up after yourself?

Rules, shmules. They're for dummies.

Now what?

Don't leave the room, okay?
And don't do anything.

Oh, she's a party.

Ah! Harvey!

Hi! Do you have the science homework
assignment for Monday?

I lost mine.

Um, uh, I'll get it for you.

Later! Uh, I'll fax it to you!

And where have you been hiding
this handsome prince?

Hi, call me Cindy.

Hi. Wow, great outfit.

Sabrina, I bet you'd look great
in something like that.

I do. It's my outfit.

So tell me about yourself.

Any brothers? Sisters?
Wicked stepmothers?

Yoo-hoo, Sabrina!

Uh, did we forget something?
Mall? Me? You? Out of here?

Extreme emergency.

I was supposed to wash my hands
after touching the Spookie Jar. I didn't.

I dust off my Cinderella book, poof.

Now I have Cinderella in my house,
here, with Harvey!

And with something
that just got really broken.

Nobody's supposed to touch that!
It's a rule!

What is it with you and rules?
Give it a rest already.

You broke it! You're in big trouble.

No, you're not. I am.

I can't let anybody know you're here.

I'll have to take the blame.

What's this? Can I have it?
How does it work?

Oh, I like it! This place is better
than an enchanted forest.

I'm never going home!

That's Cinderella?
No wonder her stepsisters hated her.

She is unbelievably annoying.

Oh, I love dancing with princes.

So where's your kingdom?

- Huh?
- Ha, ha!

Chloe, I am in such major trouble.

I've got to send her back
where she came from and fast!

And exactly how do you do that?

Simple. You use a Spookie Jar
to get rid of a spooky girl.

I hate to admit it, Salem,
but you're absolutely right.

If this works, I swear
I'll never break the rules again.

I was asleep and you interrupted
my genie-in-the-bottle dream.

It's my favorite dream.

This better be excruciatingly important.

It's a huge emergency.

I need a spell guaranteed
to transport somebody back...

...to Once-Upon-a-Time Land, pronto!

Otherwise, as soon as Quigley gets home,
my life will be over!

Guess you're supposed to put it on.

Tip your hat and say "so long,"
speak their name and they are gone.

That's it? That's the spell?

I'm tired. I'm cranky. Take it or leave it.

So long!

-Uh, Sabrina, I was wondering if--
-Harvey?

Huh?

Hey, I was thinking,
how about we have a party?

Maybe invite a couple of elves,
a few pixies...

...a talking bear or two...

Oh, no! I sent the wrong person
to Once-Upon-a-Time Land!

A party. Great idea.
Um, pick out an outfit.

Go through my whole closet,
try on everything. Throw stuff on the floor.

Knock yourself out!

That takes care of her for a while.
Okay, think, think!

Harvey's been zapped into a book
and Cinderella's still here.

-What do we do now?
-In a word? Panic!

Panic? Why?

Harvey's in Once-Upon-a-Time Land.
It will change the fairy tale...

...and that could have
serious consequences.

It could?

Ah! Oof!

Ow! Hey! Ow!

Harvey-ella! Get to work!

Mop the floors! Iron the clothes!
Polish the shoes! Walk the dog!

Whoa! Oof!

Forget screwing up the story.
You've got to help me rescue Harvey!

I'm not kidding with you, Salem.
Tell me how to save Harvey!

Easy on the coat. Okay, okay.
It's complicated, but it can be done.

Oh, I hope that means
you're gonna use more magic.

I love it when you guys do that stuff!

You're both lucky
I'm the one you're dealing with.

A lesser warlock
wouldn't be up to the task.

Here's the deal.

Cool.

Your mission, Sabrina,
should you accept it...

...is to infiltrate Once-Upon-a-Time Land.

Once there, you are to find Cinderella's
fairy godmother, Emma.

Only she can grant the wish that will allow
Harvey-ella and this person, Cinderella...

...to switch places.

But the switch must occur
no later than noon...

...or Harvey will be stuck
in Once-Upon-a-Time Land forever.

These pictures will self-destruct now.

Huh?

Way cool. She accepts.

I wish I could go.

"The spell of a traveler
I have in this rhyme...

I beg it to take me
to Once-Upon-a-Time."

Whoever you are,
don't track mud on my clean floor.

Harvey, it's me, Sabrina.

Thank goodness!
Hey, what happened to me?

This has something to do
with that weird girl I met...

...back at your house, doesn't it?

I don't hear
any scrubbing going on in there!

Girls, go check on Harvey-ella.

Oh, no!
My wicked stepsisters are coming!

Hide!

You're not scrubbing the floor.
We're gonna tell.

It's lumpy gruel and another bath
in cold well water for you tonight.

I don't know where he came from...

...but I like him better than Cinderella.

Yeah, he doesn't laugh as much.
That helps.

And do something about the drapes.

They look, ugh, fat.

Isn't it amazing how all pain-in-the-neck
girls kind of look alike?

-What?
-Never mind.

Finish your chores later, okay?
We've got to go find Emma...

...the fairy godmother, before noon.

-Who?
-I'll explain later.

Right now, we've gotta go, okay?

He shoots, he scores!

-Guys and sports, what is up with that?
-Yee-haw!

Hurry, Harvey.
We haven't a minute to lose!

Yeah, I got that. But why? What's
going on? What happened to me?

It's complicated. Look, just trust me.

What we've gotta do right now
is concentrate on finding Emma...

...so we can get you home.

Excuse me, Mr. White Rabbit.

We're looking for Emma,
the fairy godmother. Can you help us?

Sorry, I'm late for a very important date.
No time to talk.

Excuse me, Mr. Dumpty.

Have you seen a fairy godmother
named Emma?

We're really in trouble, and--

Oh, do I know from trouble.
I'm coming apart here.

The wall I was sitting on?
Not up to code.

And I'm suing somebody, big time!

But weren't you rocking back and forth
instead of sitting still...

-...like you were supposed to?
-I'm an egg. I got a round bottom.

She wants me to sit still?

Goldilocks! Wow, it's actually you!

Hey, have you seen Emma,
the fairy godmother?

Okay, I'd love to help you look for her,
but I'm being booked for trespassing.

Ugh, those bears.

I took a little nap in their house.
Like, big whoop.

I don't believe it. She's listed.

Hello, this is Emma.

I'm sorry,
but I'm not available right now.

It's an answering machine!

I'm out of town...

...attending the fairy godmothers'
annual convention.

Please leave your wish,
and I'll grant it when I return. Thank you.

This is awful.

Nothing is working out right.

If I had only followed the rules
in the first place.

Uh-oh. What time is it?

Well, I have about quarter to 11.

We only have an hour
and 15 minutes until noon.

If we don't find Emma by then,
we're going to be stuck here forever.

Forever!

If I get out of this,
I'll never break the rules again.

I'll never break the rules again!

Don't go in there. Boycott!

Stand firm until the day
of the fairy godmother is past...

...and the era of the fairy godperson
has dawned.

Thanks. I'll think about it.

Today's topic is the difference between
wishing and wanting.

Not here. Ugh!

And that is the new form
for filing your wish-granting expenses.

Any questions?

Can I claim medical expenses?

My client's laugh
gets on my nerves so much...

...that I've started seeing a therapist
twice a week.

Bingo. Found her!

So that's why we need your help.

To get Harvey home
and get Cinderella back here.

Oh! So that's why things have been
so peaceful lately, Cinderella's gone.

Oh, my, doesn't that have
a lovely sound to it.

Not that I don't want Cindy back...

...but she never follows the rules,
you know.

That child can be such a pain
in the wand.

Please, isn't there some kind of...

...switching places wish
that can help us?

I'm afraid the only way to make
a switching places wish work...

...is for Cinderella to put on
this pair of glass slippers.

It must be done before noon.

No, that's not right. Uh, before 5.

No, wait, before 5 is the early-bird
special at the Magic Zap Cafe.

Noon. That's it! Stroke of noon.

And that's noon in
Once-Upon-a-Time Land's time zone.

Oh, my goodness!

That spell always makes everyone
involved with it forget all sorts of things.

Did I forget to tell her that noon
our time is the same as noon her time?

Oh, no! I'm doomed!

Oh!

Where have you been?

That girl is driving me up the wall.

Chill, Chloe. All we have to do is get her
to put these glass slippers on...

...and she's so gone. Where is she?

In your Aunt Hilda's room,
probably trashing the place.

Snow White, eat your heart out.

So, what do you think?
Is this going to kill at the party?

-Is it me?
-It could be, with the right accessories.

Nah, I don't do glass slippers.
I got this thing about my toes.

I don't like people to see them.

Hold everything! This is it!
This is the outfit!

Now what?

Wow.

Cool jeans. But you know,
my Aunt Hilda has this rule.

Never, ever wear blue shoes
with retro bell bottoms.

A rule? Oh, honey,
are you talking to the wrong person.

Lay some blue shoes on me.

Darn, no blue shoes!

Oh, here they are!

See how stupid rules are?

These are gonna go perfectly
with this outfit.

Sabrina? I--

I think something happened
that I should be mad at you about...

...but for some reason I've forgotten
what it is, and I feel really dizzy.

You know,
that happens to me all the time.

You probably just need a little fresh air.

Hello, Mr. Quigley.

Hello, Harvey.
Always a pleasure to see you.

I'll call you later. Tell you all about
the science homework, okay?

Yeah, uh, I guess.

My UFO model! Salem!

Argh! Where is that cat?

How many times have I told him
not to jump on the furniture?

Uh, that would be 263,
as of yesterday.

Uncle Quigley, it's not Salem's fault.

Explain.

Long story. I kind of messed up.

I had an unexpected visitor,
and, well, one thing led to another.

Even after we talked about the rule,
about not touching my model...

...under any circumstances?

There's that pesky "R" word again.

Uncle Quigley,
I have really learned my lesson...

...about following the rules
and I promise I'll help you...

...fix the model up as good as new.

Right after she walks me to the corner,
if that's okay.

Fine. Just don't dawdle.

Whew! Wild day.

A lot more exciting
than a trip to the mall.

You sure you can't hang with me
for a little while?

No, I have to help Uncle Quigley.

It really is my fault his model's broken.

Come on. If we cut across the street,
we'll get to the corner quicker.

Sure.

On second thought,
I've learned my lesson.

Like Uncle Quigley said,
rules are there for a reason, and--

And never mind. I get the point.

Freaks.