Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 14 - Witchy Grrrls - full transcript
Uh-oh.
-Wow.
-Aah!
Whoa!
Aah! No!
Behold my amazing talents
of conjuring and legerdemain...
...as I take this timepiece
and perform an illusion...
...of such subtle nuance
as to amaze the crowned heads of Europe.
This watch is the best
a teacher's salary can buy.
Please be careful, Harvey.
Harvey?
I know not this Harvey
of whom you speak.
I am The Great Harvini.
And my next feat of illusion
shall be to wrap this watch...
...in a handkerchief
and seemingly smash it.
No. I'm Strawberry Babe. Dibs.
Dibs? How old are you?
Let Sabrina be Strawberry Babe.
I called it first.
Sabrina can be Vanilla Babe.
I don't wanna be Vanilla Babe.
It's so milk toast.
Well,
I'm certainly not gonna be Vanilla Babe.
I'm Juicy Babe.
Ooh. I wanna be Juicy Babe too.
I thought you wanted to be
Strawberry Babe?
Juicy can be my middle name.
No, Sabrina, you're Strawberry Babe.
Chloe, you're Juicy.
I'll be Vanilla Babe.
And, Hilda,
you're Chocolate Chunk Babe.
Chocolate Chunk Babe?
I'm Chunk Babe? I don't think so.
Look, who cares what flavor we are.
As long as we get to play together,
that's all that really matters.
-Ah!
-That's easy for you to say, Miss Strawberry.
You've got a cool flavor.
Now, observe how the watch
is once again miraculously whole.
Presto change-o.
Heh. Ta-da. Heh, heh.
Tough crowd tonight.
Next on stage,
Greendale's own, Gem Stone.
Good luck. You'll need it.
Wow. She sounds great.
She's lip-synching.
She's not even singing.
Can you say "first place"?
Obviously, you can't...
...unless it's been prerecorded
and played it back for you.
Forget about her, Aunt Hilda.
We're up next.
And we're gonna show Gem Stone
how it's done.
Last--
But hopefully not least...
...put your hands together
for the Flavor Babes.
That's enough. Thank you.
That's certainly
was wonderfully unique.
So do we get the prize money
in cash or check?
Without further ado...
...I'd like to announce the winner of the First
Annual Greendale Community Talent Show:
Gem Stone.
Mrs. Bleachstain, why didn't we win?
I felt there was something missing.
You just didn't have enough star quality.
Sabrina, maybe later
I'll introduce you to two of my friends:
Loo and Ser.
How could she not like us?
No star quality?
We've got star quality
coming out of our sweat glands.
Well, I know it wasn't me.
At least I was on pitch.
What's that supposed to mean?
Girls, girls, remember.
The reason we formed this band
was to have fun.
I know, but can't you guys use magic?
Give us some star quality?
No magic.
Do I hear the need for a little magic?
For I am Harvini,
the world's greatest mystifier.
Please, one little spell.
Absolutely not. Magic is not--
To be used for frivolous purposes.
I know, I know.
But just this one time, please.
Ooh, we'd be so fly in those little outfits.
Come on.
I'll even take Vanilla
and let you be Peppermint.
Oh, sure, on the surface...
...the life of a rock star sounds fun,
with fame...
...unlimited money, screaming fans,
all-night parties, muscular roadies.
Do you know how quickly
you'd get tired of all that?
Never.
Hmm. You've gotta point.
I'm want in.
Pop stars. Make us into pop stars.
Ooh.
Here it is.
Bangles, Go-Go's
Spice Girls, Supremes
Bring to life our pop star dreams
Killer threads.
Scope this guitar.
This keyboard rocks.
Ooh, sparkly shirt.
The spell must have altered reality.
We're famous.
Ladies, ladies, ladies.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
-We're late.
-Late for what?
-Cool. Backstage passes.
-Who's playing?
You are. Chop-chop.
Are you kidding?
We don't even know
how to play our instruments.
Who cares. You look great.
Heh. Sorry, wrong hole.
Argh!
Argh!
Do you know what this says to me?
That the Flavor Babes are sloppy drinkers.
We pass. What else have we got?
Okay, how about this hot little item?
Guaranteed to sell half a million units.
Flavor Babe action figures.
Ooh.
Hey, this doesn't taste like my flavor.
This should taste like my flavor.
We pass. What else have we got?
Well, we have a Flavor Babe comic book,
a Flavor Babe clothing line...
-...Flavor Babe candy.
-Does it taste like my flavor?
Yes, of course the candy tastes
like your flavor.
-I was talking about the clothing line.
-Ah, I'll, uh, make a note.
You know you've made it big...
...when Weird Al parodies your song
on TV.
Got hair galore from every pore
We're scared that it might kill us
Now we wanna shave our heads
More often than Bruce Willis
I've got an electric shaver
For all of my back hair
Wanna do me a favor?
If you would be so kind
And help me reach behind
I find a lot of shaving cream
Is the slickest way to do it
It makes my backbone tickle
And it churns my spinal fluid
I've got an electric shaver
For shaving my back hair
I love my electric shaver
It cuts me real close
It's great for up my nose
Switch.
-Switch, switch.
-Switch.
Did I say you could switch the channel?
Switch back.
Who cashed out
and made you tube pooba?
Switch.
- Switch back. Switch back.
- Switch, switch.
- Switch back. Switch.
- Switch.
Stop. Wait, this is ridiculous.
-We can't treat each other like this.
-You're right.
-I mean, we're acting like children.
-We are children.
You're right. Switch, switch.
- Switch.
- Excuse me, ladies.
You have a visitor.
Not Leo DiWolf again.
The young actor gentleman?
No, ma'am.
We have a restraining order against him.
It's master Harvey.
Sab, Chloe,
where have you guys been?
I've been looking all over for you
at school.
Public school? Are you running a fever?
So you guys hear Gem got caught
passing notes with...
...get this, Rory Fleischmann.
Can you believe it?
Snory Rory.
Is that why you came here,
to tell us that?
How quaint.
Well, not just that.
I just wanted to, you know, chill.
You wanna chill? Take up ice skating.
Hmm. Sabrina,
can I ask you something?
I'm not gonna give you an autograph.
If you want an autograph...
...you'll just have to buy one
like everyone else.
That isn't what I wanted to ask.
I wanted to ask what happened
to the old Sabrina, the nice Sabrina?
And you too.
You know, you guys used to be so cool.
For girls, I mean. You used to be cool.
Late again.
How are we supposed to record a new song
with half the band?
You been noticing the changes
in Sabrina and Chloe...
...ever since we became superstars?
Aside from the narcissistic
self-absorption...
...and the megalomaniacal
self-indulgence? No.
Sorry I'm late.
I was staffing my summer home.
Is it gauche to hire a full-time flosser?
You know, uh, for my teeth.
I don't care how you do it, Chauncy.
From now on,
I want authentic French toast...
...from Paris. Capiche?
So are you ready for my vocals?
Your vocals?
I'm going to sing lead on the next track.
No. But maybe you can sing lead
in your next life.
Either I sing or I walk.
Hold on here, girls.
Let's just try to keep our cool.
I'm keeping mine.
Too bad Chloe never had any to begin with.
What did you say?
You play the French horn.
Do you know how lame that is?
A French horn in a rock band?
Everybody laughs at you.
I am so out of here.
Wait. Chloe, don't go.
We can't do it without you.
If that's how you feel, fine.
I've got three words for you.
Solo career.
That's actually two words.
Okay, here is another two words.
Goodbye.
Now, your down to one word.
Argh!
See you.
Back up to two.
-They'll be back.
-They better be.
If not, were all in trouble.
So, what? We just reverse the spell...
...and live with the fact
that we're one-hit wonders.
We can't. We give up our magic
when we took up music.
We're musicians
until the spell runs it's natural course.
But if the band dissolves, if we break up,
that may never happen.
-And we'll be stuck.
-Forever. Oh, no, I don't want that.
Stuck in one-hit wonderland
with the singing nun?
Help me! Help! Help!
The Flavor Babes. Where are they now?
From oblivion to super stardom...
...the four scrumptious pop divas
known as the Flavor Babes...
...taught us all who got the flavor.
It's been five long weeks
since we've heard from the Babes.
Where are they now?
Hilda Flavor took up
many political causes...
...including raising money
for bristle birch yaks...
...by headlining at Yak Stock.
Yay!
Brassy babe Chloe Flavor
continued music.
But her career ended abruptly...
...while touring with thrash metal punk band
Pulverizer...
...when a miscalculation
blew up the drummer instead of her horn.
Heh, heh. Whoops, my bad.
Zelda Flavor changed her name
to the Flavor Formerly Known As Vanilla.
She also reemerged
as a tedious performance artist.
Today, Dieder and I will perform
a Gregorian chant...
...reenacting the Italian Renaissance.
In real time.
Dieder.
Lastly, Sabrina Spellman,
the angelic voice of the Babes.
Where is that voice now?
The truth is nobody knows for sure.
After reputedly purchasing the bones
of a Kansas City rhinoceros boy...
...the eccentric Sabrina Flavor
dropped out of sight.
Forever? Only time will tell.
Look, I don't care
what you do to your bathroom...
...but my litter hasn't been cleaned
in weeks.
I'm afraid to go in there.
-Do you know what I miss?
-Disinfectant bleach?
I miss fame, I miss applause.
Change my litter
and I'll give you a standing ovation.
And I miss Chloe.
Hey, squirt, guess who's here.
Chloe.
What? Really?
Tell her to go home.
I'm not her friend anymore.
Too late.
You have to tell her that yourself.
So why'd you come?
Well, I-- You--
You still have my pink lip balm
and I want it back.
Fine. You can have your dumb lip balm,
but I want my fossil collection back.
You mean your rocks? Fine.
But I want my autograph book back.
Fine. Who needs
Melissa Joan Hart's autograph anyway?
And why don't you just forget
my locker combination while we're at it?
Fine. Forgotten.
-Fine.
-Fine.
Well, goodbye, then.
Wait.
-There's still something I want back.
-Yeah? What's that?
You. I want my best friend back.
Fine.
Fine.
-I smell reunion tour.
-Heh, heh, heh.
I just wanna say how psyched I am
that we're all back together again.
-Me too.
-Me three.
So you ready, Babes?
Turn it down!
Aah!
Turn it off!
Uh-oh.
Heh, heh, heh. Freaks.
Savage, we love you.
Cookie Jar
-Wow.
-Aah!
Whoa!
Aah! No!
Behold my amazing talents
of conjuring and legerdemain...
...as I take this timepiece
and perform an illusion...
...of such subtle nuance
as to amaze the crowned heads of Europe.
This watch is the best
a teacher's salary can buy.
Please be careful, Harvey.
Harvey?
I know not this Harvey
of whom you speak.
I am The Great Harvini.
And my next feat of illusion
shall be to wrap this watch...
...in a handkerchief
and seemingly smash it.
No. I'm Strawberry Babe. Dibs.
Dibs? How old are you?
Let Sabrina be Strawberry Babe.
I called it first.
Sabrina can be Vanilla Babe.
I don't wanna be Vanilla Babe.
It's so milk toast.
Well,
I'm certainly not gonna be Vanilla Babe.
I'm Juicy Babe.
Ooh. I wanna be Juicy Babe too.
I thought you wanted to be
Strawberry Babe?
Juicy can be my middle name.
No, Sabrina, you're Strawberry Babe.
Chloe, you're Juicy.
I'll be Vanilla Babe.
And, Hilda,
you're Chocolate Chunk Babe.
Chocolate Chunk Babe?
I'm Chunk Babe? I don't think so.
Look, who cares what flavor we are.
As long as we get to play together,
that's all that really matters.
-Ah!
-That's easy for you to say, Miss Strawberry.
You've got a cool flavor.
Now, observe how the watch
is once again miraculously whole.
Presto change-o.
Heh. Ta-da. Heh, heh.
Tough crowd tonight.
Next on stage,
Greendale's own, Gem Stone.
Good luck. You'll need it.
Wow. She sounds great.
She's lip-synching.
She's not even singing.
Can you say "first place"?
Obviously, you can't...
...unless it's been prerecorded
and played it back for you.
Forget about her, Aunt Hilda.
We're up next.
And we're gonna show Gem Stone
how it's done.
Last--
But hopefully not least...
...put your hands together
for the Flavor Babes.
That's enough. Thank you.
That's certainly
was wonderfully unique.
So do we get the prize money
in cash or check?
Without further ado...
...I'd like to announce the winner of the First
Annual Greendale Community Talent Show:
Gem Stone.
Mrs. Bleachstain, why didn't we win?
I felt there was something missing.
You just didn't have enough star quality.
Sabrina, maybe later
I'll introduce you to two of my friends:
Loo and Ser.
How could she not like us?
No star quality?
We've got star quality
coming out of our sweat glands.
Well, I know it wasn't me.
At least I was on pitch.
What's that supposed to mean?
Girls, girls, remember.
The reason we formed this band
was to have fun.
I know, but can't you guys use magic?
Give us some star quality?
No magic.
Do I hear the need for a little magic?
For I am Harvini,
the world's greatest mystifier.
Please, one little spell.
Absolutely not. Magic is not--
To be used for frivolous purposes.
I know, I know.
But just this one time, please.
Ooh, we'd be so fly in those little outfits.
Come on.
I'll even take Vanilla
and let you be Peppermint.
Oh, sure, on the surface...
...the life of a rock star sounds fun,
with fame...
...unlimited money, screaming fans,
all-night parties, muscular roadies.
Do you know how quickly
you'd get tired of all that?
Never.
Hmm. You've gotta point.
I'm want in.
Pop stars. Make us into pop stars.
Ooh.
Here it is.
Bangles, Go-Go's
Spice Girls, Supremes
Bring to life our pop star dreams
Killer threads.
Scope this guitar.
This keyboard rocks.
Ooh, sparkly shirt.
The spell must have altered reality.
We're famous.
Ladies, ladies, ladies.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
-We're late.
-Late for what?
-Cool. Backstage passes.
-Who's playing?
You are. Chop-chop.
Are you kidding?
We don't even know
how to play our instruments.
Who cares. You look great.
Heh. Sorry, wrong hole.
Argh!
Argh!
Do you know what this says to me?
That the Flavor Babes are sloppy drinkers.
We pass. What else have we got?
Okay, how about this hot little item?
Guaranteed to sell half a million units.
Flavor Babe action figures.
Ooh.
Hey, this doesn't taste like my flavor.
This should taste like my flavor.
We pass. What else have we got?
Well, we have a Flavor Babe comic book,
a Flavor Babe clothing line...
-...Flavor Babe candy.
-Does it taste like my flavor?
Yes, of course the candy tastes
like your flavor.
-I was talking about the clothing line.
-Ah, I'll, uh, make a note.
You know you've made it big...
...when Weird Al parodies your song
on TV.
Got hair galore from every pore
We're scared that it might kill us
Now we wanna shave our heads
More often than Bruce Willis
I've got an electric shaver
For all of my back hair
Wanna do me a favor?
If you would be so kind
And help me reach behind
I find a lot of shaving cream
Is the slickest way to do it
It makes my backbone tickle
And it churns my spinal fluid
I've got an electric shaver
For shaving my back hair
I love my electric shaver
It cuts me real close
It's great for up my nose
Switch.
-Switch, switch.
-Switch.
Did I say you could switch the channel?
Switch back.
Who cashed out
and made you tube pooba?
Switch.
- Switch back. Switch back.
- Switch, switch.
- Switch back. Switch.
- Switch.
Stop. Wait, this is ridiculous.
-We can't treat each other like this.
-You're right.
-I mean, we're acting like children.
-We are children.
You're right. Switch, switch.
- Switch.
- Excuse me, ladies.
You have a visitor.
Not Leo DiWolf again.
The young actor gentleman?
No, ma'am.
We have a restraining order against him.
It's master Harvey.
Sab, Chloe,
where have you guys been?
I've been looking all over for you
at school.
Public school? Are you running a fever?
So you guys hear Gem got caught
passing notes with...
...get this, Rory Fleischmann.
Can you believe it?
Snory Rory.
Is that why you came here,
to tell us that?
How quaint.
Well, not just that.
I just wanted to, you know, chill.
You wanna chill? Take up ice skating.
Hmm. Sabrina,
can I ask you something?
I'm not gonna give you an autograph.
If you want an autograph...
...you'll just have to buy one
like everyone else.
That isn't what I wanted to ask.
I wanted to ask what happened
to the old Sabrina, the nice Sabrina?
And you too.
You know, you guys used to be so cool.
For girls, I mean. You used to be cool.
Late again.
How are we supposed to record a new song
with half the band?
You been noticing the changes
in Sabrina and Chloe...
...ever since we became superstars?
Aside from the narcissistic
self-absorption...
...and the megalomaniacal
self-indulgence? No.
Sorry I'm late.
I was staffing my summer home.
Is it gauche to hire a full-time flosser?
You know, uh, for my teeth.
I don't care how you do it, Chauncy.
From now on,
I want authentic French toast...
...from Paris. Capiche?
So are you ready for my vocals?
Your vocals?
I'm going to sing lead on the next track.
No. But maybe you can sing lead
in your next life.
Either I sing or I walk.
Hold on here, girls.
Let's just try to keep our cool.
I'm keeping mine.
Too bad Chloe never had any to begin with.
What did you say?
You play the French horn.
Do you know how lame that is?
A French horn in a rock band?
Everybody laughs at you.
I am so out of here.
Wait. Chloe, don't go.
We can't do it without you.
If that's how you feel, fine.
I've got three words for you.
Solo career.
That's actually two words.
Okay, here is another two words.
Goodbye.
Now, your down to one word.
Argh!
See you.
Back up to two.
-They'll be back.
-They better be.
If not, were all in trouble.
So, what? We just reverse the spell...
...and live with the fact
that we're one-hit wonders.
We can't. We give up our magic
when we took up music.
We're musicians
until the spell runs it's natural course.
But if the band dissolves, if we break up,
that may never happen.
-And we'll be stuck.
-Forever. Oh, no, I don't want that.
Stuck in one-hit wonderland
with the singing nun?
Help me! Help! Help!
The Flavor Babes. Where are they now?
From oblivion to super stardom...
...the four scrumptious pop divas
known as the Flavor Babes...
...taught us all who got the flavor.
It's been five long weeks
since we've heard from the Babes.
Where are they now?
Hilda Flavor took up
many political causes...
...including raising money
for bristle birch yaks...
...by headlining at Yak Stock.
Yay!
Brassy babe Chloe Flavor
continued music.
But her career ended abruptly...
...while touring with thrash metal punk band
Pulverizer...
...when a miscalculation
blew up the drummer instead of her horn.
Heh, heh. Whoops, my bad.
Zelda Flavor changed her name
to the Flavor Formerly Known As Vanilla.
She also reemerged
as a tedious performance artist.
Today, Dieder and I will perform
a Gregorian chant...
...reenacting the Italian Renaissance.
In real time.
Dieder.
Lastly, Sabrina Spellman,
the angelic voice of the Babes.
Where is that voice now?
The truth is nobody knows for sure.
After reputedly purchasing the bones
of a Kansas City rhinoceros boy...
...the eccentric Sabrina Flavor
dropped out of sight.
Forever? Only time will tell.
Look, I don't care
what you do to your bathroom...
...but my litter hasn't been cleaned
in weeks.
I'm afraid to go in there.
-Do you know what I miss?
-Disinfectant bleach?
I miss fame, I miss applause.
Change my litter
and I'll give you a standing ovation.
And I miss Chloe.
Hey, squirt, guess who's here.
Chloe.
What? Really?
Tell her to go home.
I'm not her friend anymore.
Too late.
You have to tell her that yourself.
So why'd you come?
Well, I-- You--
You still have my pink lip balm
and I want it back.
Fine. You can have your dumb lip balm,
but I want my fossil collection back.
You mean your rocks? Fine.
But I want my autograph book back.
Fine. Who needs
Melissa Joan Hart's autograph anyway?
And why don't you just forget
my locker combination while we're at it?
Fine. Forgotten.
-Fine.
-Fine.
Well, goodbye, then.
Wait.
-There's still something I want back.
-Yeah? What's that?
You. I want my best friend back.
Fine.
Fine.
-I smell reunion tour.
-Heh, heh, heh.
I just wanna say how psyched I am
that we're all back together again.
-Me too.
-Me three.
So you ready, Babes?
Turn it down!
Aah!
Turn it off!
Uh-oh.
Heh, heh, heh. Freaks.
Savage, we love you.
Cookie Jar