Sabri Maranan (2011–…): Season 4, Episode 9 - Bridezilla - full transcript

On the previous episodes

Merav is engaged?
-Yes.

Dad?
-Congratulations!

Merav's getting married?
-Yes.

First of all I was in a bad mood.

Every bride is before her wedding.

Care bear.

On this episode

Can't you not go?

No, do you ever not go?

The kid said she likes schlops
and you let her bring it in the car.



Why? The car stinks.

They're sleeping,
let's chuck it.

But she'll cry.

So she'll cry a bit.
This is foul.

Your folks are so out of the way.

They're not,
it'll take five minutes.

Can't you not go?
-No,

Merav said it's an emergency meeting.

Everything's an emergency with her.
-That's true.

I hate these Hasson emergency meetings,

somehow we always pay in the end.

No one will pay,
except maybe my nostrils.

If I chuck it, you won't go?

So don't.
I'm getting out, it's here,



end of story.

Then chuck it on your way out.

There must be tons
of hard boiled eggs inside.

As you know,
we got final confirmation from the venue

and we settled on a date.

Congrats.

Shani, cut it out.
-Okay.

Since we don't have much time

and there's so much to do,
we'll split up into work teams.

What's that?

My wedding folder.

I don't get it.

It's got everything,

lists of all the tasks

to prepare, finalize,
handle until the wedding.

Excel sheets, price comparisons,

ideas for engagement parties,
bachelorette parties,

mikveh parties. (ritual bath)

I have this inspiration notebook

with pictures from magazines
and ideas on dress designs,

canopies, tables,

everything you need.

And this is a diary for times...

when I needed reinforcement.

Things that I wrote to myself.

"Don't worry."

"It will happen."

"Stop crying."

You did all that?

Who else?

When?

Yes, Merav,
when did you do all that?

Since the age of 13 and 3 months.

Approximately.

Okay, after that intro,

why are we here, sweetie?

How can we help you?
-With everything.

"Everything?"

Really, Merav?

You expect us to go over that today?

Then when?

I suggest we start with the general list

and then go into detail, okay?

So...

wedding gown, veil,

shoes, bridesmaid dresses,

makeup, hair, invitations,

guest list, Mom,

sending invitations,
table arrangement,

bride and groom photos
and bouquet.

Bou what?
-Bouquet.

Flowers for the bride.

Sparklers, surprise video...

Hold on,

don't you and your husband do that?

Aline, if I learned anything

it's if you don't do things yourself,

nothing will happen.

No, Merav, listen,

this is overwhelming.
I don't understand

what has to been done.

Let's go over each item slowly.

But I was going to get into detail later.

Fine, as you wish.

First and foremost - the wedding gown.

Open your schedulers.

Next week - bridal salon.
-Okay, bridal salon.

Wow, now I'm really excited.

Right? Totally.

Merav, we're choosing a gown,
it's happening...

Don't jinx it.

Tfu.
-Tfu tfu tfu.

Efrat, it's so good of you
to get up in the middle of the night.

Merav woke me up...

Have you seen anything yet?
Do you have a preference?

Not really.

I'm open.

I don't know exactly what I want

but I know what I don't want.

Great, that's a start.

I don't have lots of demands,

I want it simple, simple, simple.
-Wonderful.

Something flowy,

a plunging, but modest neckline,

open back down to my bum

and I envision lots of layers,

ruffles, ruffles, ruffles,

not a lot of frou frou

and gemstones,

shiny.

Simple, simple.

I like frou frou.

Okay, how about this one?

No, it's not me.

This one? -No.

This? -No way.

No.

This? -No.

This? -No.

This? -No.

This?

No way.

This? -No.

This? -No.

This?

Could it get any uglier?
-Merav.

Sorry, no.
-It's okay.

Let's get back to your gown later,

you want to dress
your bridesmaids too, right?

They deserve it.

They were with me all the way.
-Thank you.

The same dress for everyone?

No.

Not the same dress,

whatever suits each one.

But the same fabric.
-What?

How about...

this?

No.

This? -No.

This?

No.

This.
-Mm... no.

This? -No.

No.

This? -No way.

This? -No.

This.

No way.

And this?

Do you have anything uglier?
-Merav.

Flowery maybe?

Shall we discuss shoes?

Listen, I can't wear what she wears.

Show me.

Be quiet, Efrat.

Fine, next item - guests.

Guests?
-Shani,

don't linger on every item,
we'll never get out of here.

Okay.
-So...

this is my guest list,
this is Aaron's list.

Mom, you're in charge of our guests.

And us?
-Invite whoever you want,

preferably rich, generous people.

Get it done this week.

These are off the top of my head.

He's a miser, don't invite him.

For Meni and Aline's wedding

he gave 100 shekels
and they were eight people.

Eight people, 100 shekels.
-Sali, I can't not.

Oh yes you can.

What about the Naim family?

How are they after he died?

I hear he left a huge inheritance.

We visited his widow last month.

I dare her not to bring a hefty check.

How do we decide

who to invite
and who not to invite?

How do I know?

I know, I know.

And you said: "Chuck it."

Now you'll see.

Remember?
-I don't believe it.

No, I don't believe it.

Here you go.

Our old phone book.
-Right,

we bought it
when we ordered a phone.

We waited for four years.

And we only got it

because your mom was connected.

I remember you made holes
in all the rooms.

Remember the nail
with the little white circle?

Of course I remember.

Remember that once
we weren't available?

We remembered phone numbers by heart.

I don't remember the 144 phone directory.

Remember the lock
we used to put on it? -Yes.

And the little devil broke.
-Four girls, four girls.

They broke the dial.
-Four girls lived here,

I had to do something.

And now all that's left
is the word "dial." -Yes.

There's no actual dial anymore.

Right? -Right.

But the word remains.
-Okay, that's enough

leafing through history.

Are we inviting
Rina and Shlomo Benbenishti?

Sure. The professor? -Yes.

And how!
You know how much surgeons make?

But we haven't talked to them in years.
-Who cares?

Okay, fine.
-They'll bring a hefty check.

Rina and Shlomo...
-Yes, invite them.

Benbenishti.

Invite Tova and Yehuda Riklis too.

But they're divorced.

So we'll invite them separately?

That's good, double the checks.

I don't know anyone
you want at your wedding.

Next item, come on.
-Invitations.

Invitations?

Orna.
-Why me?

You're good at graphic design.
-Since when? -Since now.

Orna, give me to Shani,
I want to see this.

Write this down,
I want simple simple simple.

Simple simple simple.

Clean, no frills,
just text. -Nothing.

And a big photo.

Of what?
-A dog, "of what?"

Me and Aaron.

I want a photo shoot next week.

I want to say that this is
a wonderful, romantic idea.

It was mine.

Moshe has the best ideas.

Right.

Okay, shall we begin?

Yes. -Alright.

Did you bring a camera?

Of course.

What's that?
-What?

You didn't bring a real camera?

What's with you?

You know how many megapixels this has?

It's so sharp

that I can see the freckles
under your makeup,

come on.

I don't want you to see
the freckles under my makeup,

that's why I put makeup.
-Fine, they won't show,

they won't show,

there's an app that removes them.

Today's phones are so smart,

everything's built-in.

You can design, reduce,

blur, erase.
-Okay, Moshe, thanks.

Merav, the picture will be lovely,

I promise.

Then we'll put the beautiful text we wrote,

it will be stunning.
-Honey, don't worry,

lighten up,
everything will be fine, babe.

Don't worry.

Okay?
-I love you.

Honey, I love you.

I'm nuts about you,
I'm crazy about you.

I'm nuts about you.

Uh, Merav...

Sorry.

Sorry, blame me, I'm sorry.

Aaron!

Sorry.
-Get on.

Yes, let's do this,
be serious, smile.

Get your feet on there.

Here. -Nice.

Yes.

Maybe you should actually ride the bike?

Actually? -Yes.
-Riding? -Yes.

Mommy!

My eye!
-Honey,

by the wedding it will pass.

No speeches.
-Luckily.

But I do expect a surprise video, Shani.

A surprise what?
-Video.

Yes, you're in charge of that.
-But...

You don't have a choice.
-But... -Next.

Aaron, Aaron, bad little boy

Merav loves Aaron

So so bad

Aaron, Aaron, bad little boy

Merav loves Aaron

So so bad

Are we done?
-You think? -Yes.

Then no.

Mom. -Shani.

Fine, what now?

One week after we decide
on the initial design of the gown,

we have to schedule a fitting for us all.

Got it, first fitting,
all of you write it down.

And as soon as possible.

If adjustments or alterations are required,

so that's around two weeks from now.

What do we do?
-What can we do?

God help me, I look awful.

People would think
there was a vegan attack in here

and a flower pot exploded on us.

Ready, Ladies?
-Yes.

Want me to take a picture for Aaron?

No, it's bad luck!

Here comes the bride.

Merav.
-How exciting.

It's gorgeous. -Stunning.

No, it's ugly.
-Excuse me?

It's ugly, it's unflattering,
it's not flowy, it's stuck.

No show, no glam,

did you even listen to me?

Merav, calm down.

I won't calm down!
This is my day!

You want me

to wear a gown I think is ugly?

Do you want me to die?!

Stop, sweetie, calm down.

We'll make her a different dress, right?

Yes, I don't want her to die.

Sshhh... sshhh...

Sshhh... sweetheart...

You'll have to forgive me,
I have to pick Rachel up from soccer.

Bye, sweetie, have fun.
-Bye.

I'll send you a sample
of the fabric of the dresses.

God help us. Bye.

Bye.

Okay, the bouquet.
-The flowers.

Great, you're it.
-But I didn't volunteer.

Too late.
"Aline - bouquet." -But...

In two days I want samples.

You don't have a choice.
You're screwed.

You're wrong. Wait here.

Nice, right?

Should I answer for me
or portray my sister?

Portray.
Are you ready?

Is it nice?
-No!

Why?
-I have nothing to compare it to.

And this?
-No!

And this?
-No!

And this?
-No!

No!

No!

Could it be any uglier?

Meni, stop portraying.

What?
-Won't she like any of them?

The first one,
but after you show them all.

So I don't have a choice.

You're screwed.

But...
-You're screwed. -You're screwed.

Sorry, there's a delay.

Didn't you go pick up Rachel?

And I'm back.
-Wow.

Okay, anything else?
We've been here for hours.

What can you do.
-Okay.

Sparklers for the dance floor.
-No.

I'll leave that to Moshe.
-What?

Text him. -Now?

Then when?

Next - couple album.

I'm afraid to ask what that is.

Very funny.

It's the latest trend,
a photo album

of the couple before the wedding.

But we're taking pictures for the invitation.

So? That's only one picture.
We need tons of things,

a port, a sunset, a dog.

Shani.
-No. -No?

Yes.

She always has to be late.

Oh...

Wow, wow, wow.

Your makeup is great,
I can't tell where the black eye is.

That's it.

Everything's ready.

Uh oh.

Don't worry,
I have a friend at work,

he can do the photoshop.

For the black eye?

And everything around it...

Come.

Where's the dog?
-What dog?

It's a couple's album,
there has to be a dog.

But you don't have a dog, Merav.
-Shani!

Get a dog.

Then send the photos to be bound

and the album has to be at the entrance
to the venue with space for good wishes.

Okay, Mom, now your part.

You've been waiting, huh?

And how I've been waiting.

Meals.
-I'm starving.

Me too.

Mom, I miss your food.

Let's start with the henna.
-You're doing a henna party?

I have to, it's his family.
-True.

Merav,

we don't have money
for lavish events,

so Dad and I were thinking
a small event here,

at home,

we'll splurge on desserts.

I don't mind, home is fine too.

But people have to bring gifts.

Mom, this green thing
with the ridges is delicious.

I like the thin ones.

I didn't taste them today.

The dough alone
takes three hours to make.

I make it with love.

Then the mikveh party.

Is the green thing with the ridges
from the henna?

Of course not. These are new.

I like the thin ones.

I didn't taste them today.

They're even thinner.

You're insane,

the dough alone
takes three hours to make.

I make it with love.

Okay, I hate to admit it, but...

the love has tired me out.

And you're in charge
of the refreshments at the bachelorette party.

Oh joy.

Next, bachelorette party.

Who wants to volunteer?

The green thing
with the ridges is delicious.

Should I make them again?

I like the thin ones.

I need three hours to make them.
-You're insane.

When will this nightmare end?

With love.

And free up the day after
the bachelorette party.

What now?

See? It's you who's interrupting.

I asked on purpose,
she's waiting for us to ask.

Right.

She's nuts.
-Okay,

why free up the day
after the bachelorette party?

It's the last party before the wedding

and we have to do a dress fitting

to make sure we didn't gain weight
from all Mom's desserts.

Sali?

Did the movie end?
-It ended.

Aaron cried a lot

and we didn't have a tissue.

There was a moment in the movie,

a very powerful moment.

When the protagonist's spaceship got stuck.

Just talking about it

makes me want to cry.

But I'm not done with this meeting.

Sali...
-What? I want to be in my home.

Let's get some coffee

while she winds this up.

Fine.

Let's go somewhere
they have a tissue.

I want to go
where there's something else too.

What? -Life.

Okay, focus.

Write it down in your schedulers.

Well?

Darn, the green thing is fattening.
-Yes.

And the thin ones aren't diet cookies.

They take three hours to make.

It's awful,
and I didn't even eat the cookies.

Wow.

It's everything I ever wanted,

everything's ready and perfect, even you.

That took so long.

You didn't have to make sure they work.

When did sparklers
become all the rage?

It's like anything else,

one day, boom, it started.

You always were the smart brother.

Hey, isn't this a bridal salon?

Oh, isn't that...

No!

What happened?

No!

Sweetie,

thanks for picking me up.

Did the little ones fall asleep?
-A long time ago.

Batya's there,
but the meter is ticking.

Man, she kept us there for hours.

What was it this time?

A task list for the wedding,

you're in charge of this,
you bring that,

you buy this,

as if I don't have enough to do.

And expenses.

I'm warning you, Shai,
don't even think it.

Alright.

She drove us all crazy.

What's she looking for?

Looking for?

She knows exactly what she wants,
she doesn't have to look.

She wants matching dresses
for each of the sisters

and the nieces.

An engagement party.

A bachelorette party.

A henna party.

A mikveh party.

How much do we give
for the mikveh party?

200, maybe 250.

Is that it?
-You think?

A couple's album,
individual design,

a surprise video for the wedding.

Do all the siblings
have to suffer or just us?

Everyone,

but the surprise video is on us.