Sabri Maranan (2011–…): Season 4, Episode 7 - Tastings - full transcript

Food Tasting

Listen to me, brother.
Turn around,

drop the girls off and be there.

Again Merav?
-What do you want?

Fine, we're coming.
-Bye.

Damn... -What?
The Hassons at it again?

What?

The famous Hasson arguments.

You know, my family's right.
Since you lost weight you're not funny.

Leave the jokes to your dad,
he's the comedian in the family.

Fine.



So what are the Hassons
fighting about this time?

What's with the condescension?

Like your family doesn't fight?

We do, but no offense,

in your family it's more...

you know, more...

More what?

More...

juicy.

Oh yeah?

More juicy?
-Yes. -Yes?

Maybe it's because
we're more sensitive

and say what's in our hearts

unlike your mother, for example,



who doesn't have a heart.

Oh! And I thought
we could have one conversation

without bringing my mother into it.

Do me a favor, don't think.

In any case,
it was a great idea not to bring the kids.

That way we save
on future therapy.

Yeah?

Tell me how it always
comes down to saving with you?

I'll explain.

If...
-Spare me.

Good Sabbath.
-Good Sabbath.

Where is everyone?

What? -What?

Oh no, we're late.

This is when everyone scatters
into separate rooms.

Maybe we should scatter too?

Great idea.

So who goes to whom?

Mom's in the kitchen,
I'll go to her.

Aaron's on the balcony.

So that means
Merav's in their room,

I hate going in there,

I smell like incense for two weeks.

Silvan must be in the bedroom.

Then where do I go?
-To Aaron.

Great idea.

Go on, scatter. -Okay.

What, Meni?

Dad, I can't take Merav anymore.

All that noise she makes

takes everyone's attention away
from other matters.

Meni...
-She makes such a ruckus

that no one listens to me.

That's not true.

Look, I can't talk now,
I'll talk to you later.

Dad, listen.
-Bye. -Dad...

Dad.

Hi, Silvan.
-And who are you?

Shai.

You're Shai.

I'm not used to skinny you.
-Me either.

You're Shai. -Sometimes I'm surprised
when I look in the mirror.

I...

Mommy. -Good Sabbath.
-Good Sabbath. What's wrong?

Stop it, Shani,
I want to be alone.

Alright!

You know it's not good being alone.

I'm absolutely fine.

I can see that.

But tell me what's wrong.

It's many things.

In the end it adds up.

I don't like these Sabbaths
when you're each in a room.

No one likes these Sabbaths.
-Yes.

No one.

I was thinking, I...

I want to stay out of your arguments.

That's very wise of you.
-Yes.

Hi, Merav.
-Hi and bye.

Okay.

What happened with Aaron?

What did you hear?

If you dump him,
I don't know what I'll do.

What's new with the upcoming wedding?

Did you hear about
the food tasting this week?

You went to food tasting?

That was my favorite part
before Shani and I got married.

Did you enjoy it?

Like root canal.

They needed someone to take them
to the venue, "Like I Care

"on a Moonlit Night."

The drive was too long for your tolerance.

The drive will live on in infamy.

I think I have to take a right
at the next exit.

Not this one,
the one after it.

How do you know?
-Waze said so.

So Waze said, big deal.

Waze is never wrong, Silvan.

Then you're wrong.

That's enough.

Enough?

We don't take the right exit,
we'll be late for the first tasting,

then the second and the third

and it will mess up
the entire schedule.

No tastings, the food will suck,

the guests will be upset,
my wedding will be ruined,

is that what you want?

No, of course,
your wedding won't be ruined,

your wedding will be just fine.

Why do you always do this to me?

I don't care,
I trust my memory

and I'm getting off here.

But Waze said--
-Mommy!

Silvan, are you sure it's here?

Aaron,

never trust Waze or shmaze.

Then Dad and Aaron started arguing
over what's better,

Waze or shmaze.

What's shmaze?

A new navigation software.
You know it? -No.

Neither do I.
Anyways, listen.

How will I know where to turn now?
Waze is recalculating the route,

how?

Maybe it's the long route.

Maybe it's because

there's no signal
where the wedding venue is?

So what are you saying?

That I made the wrong choice of venue?

I didn't say that.
-You did. -He didn't.

You didn't?
-Merav, I heard,

he didn't say that,
he just insinuated something else.

Do you think I'm stupid?

We didn't say that.

So we're lost?

Mr. Hasson, check if Waze
has finished calculating the route.

I don't think the route has been built,

that's why it can't calculate.

You men will never do the right thing.

Dad, stop here!

Hi. -Hey.

Do you come here often?
-What?

Do you know
where people get married around here?

Are you proposing to me?

Stop flirting!

Anyways, go straight on the dirt road,

turn right at the end,
you'll see a wedding venue.

Thank you.
-Sure thing. Congratulations.

Virgo with Pisces rising.

I hate fish.

Die.

Turn right at the end.

Go.

This week my nerves have weakened.

What caused the weakness?

It started when me, Dad,
Merav and her fiancé

went for a food tasting.

That will weaken anyone.

Mom, if we don't get there on time

I'll be hungry
and we'll all suffer.

I used to have maps
in the glove compartment.

Did you throw them out?

Dad, that was in the old old car.

In this century
you never looked at a map.

Mr. Hasson, these days maps are unnecessary
with the navigation software.

And if the network crashes?

You pull over,
put on the yellow vest.

You're a genius!
-Thank you.

Dad, stop making fun of Aaron.
Mom!

Now I don't know
what's east and what's west.

That's it, I'm hungry.
-Rachel. -Mom!

Sali, I can't take this anymore.

Pull over, I'll get out,
I'll look at the stars

and tell you where to go.

Giora the counselor
taught me that at girl scouts.

Again with the Giora?!

Dad, you always have something to say.

Listen to me, Miss Chutzpah,

listen to me...

Okay, take a left.

Who said, Giora?
-No, a sign, "Left to the wedding".

What's to tell?

We were on the way to the food tasting
and in the middle we got lost.

How did you know
you were in the middle?

Here you are.
-Here you are.

Your mom's in the kitchen,
Merav's in her room,

your dad's probably sleeping
in the bedroom.

Did you hear what happened?
-We just started the story.

Where were you?
-On the way to the food tasting

and in the middle we got lost.

I say right here, that's all.

We turned right
and reached a garbage dump.

Left then.

We turned left,
we got to a cemetery.

Listen, it's straight.
There's no more directions.

Why? We can back up
and go home!

What about the food tasting?

No tasting, no food, no wedding.

No, we'll find the venue.

Go with my gut for once.

Silvan, please go straight,
I'm begging you.

Alright, fine,
I'll go straight.

Even though I don't think
it leads anywhere.

There it is!

I'm usually right.

I'm right very often.

But reality takes a while to get on board.

Okay, I'm going to hear
the story somewhere else.

Is everything alright?
-Yes, sit down,

you didn't miss much.
We're entering the venue.

Great.

You wouldn't believe this place.

It was like central station

and Merav was organized
like a drill sergeant at boot camp.

Everyone listen up.

This is the wedding venue.

There are six rooms, six weddings.

And one funeral.
-Mom.

That was funny, okay?

So we can dance
at all the weddings,

I mean taste the food,
we have to be efficient, quick

and split up in pairs.

Who needs so many tastings?

Are one or two weddings not enough?

No, Dad!

Each wedding is a different style,
a different flavor,

we don't want you to pay
for 750 pigs in a poke.

And it's not kosher.

How sweet, he likes pigs.

Okay, so what do we do?

Mom and I will go
to the Levi-Segev wedding.

Dad and Aaron,
you'll go to the Tishler-Mualem wedding.

I went with Merav
to the Levi-Segev wedding.

The Levi family
are 7th generation fishermen

so the theme was nautical.

"Nautical?"
-Listen to this,

there were nets and boats and sails

and the menu was fish only.

Fish of every shape, color and species.

The venue even had the smell
of a port and sea.

Really? -Yes.

How did they achieve that effect?

They spread fish roe on the walls.

Man, I love fish.

The lampshades were made
of actual mackerel

and the bride and groom were dressed

like Dicarpion. -Leonardo.

Leonardo Dicarpion.
-Yes.

And Bar Refaeli in "Titanic".

Oh, that's nice.
-Yes.

And the food? -Salt water fish,
purified water fish,

salt water fish,
fried fish...

Okay, stop,
the smell's driving me crazy.

What's to eat?
-Fish in tomato sauce.

I'm changing rooms.
-Wait, was it tasty?

I don't feel well,

I'm dizzy from the roe on the walls.

Mom. -What?

I have all kinds of thoughts about the wedding.

No, don't tell me
you want a nautical theme too.

Mom, I'm thinking...

maybe I should postpone the wedding.
-Postpone it?

Are you mad?

Why postpone, Merav?

You don't postpone a wedding.

I want to think about it,

I'm not sure Aaron understands
what I'm going through,

what's on my mind,

I have all kinds of reflections.

No, reflections are bad, Merav.

Sweetheart, it's...

only natural
to be stressed before the wedding.

It just means you're normal.

I want to think about it some more, Mom.

But I didn't tell anyone
about these reflections

and Aaron doesn't know,

so say nothing, okay?

My God, you're insane.

I'm dizzy,

now I really don't know why.

You're insane.
-Why?!

Can't I reflect?

You can, reflect away,

but with each reflection
you're shaking Mom and Dad up.

So now I should feel guilty?

Don't, sweetie, don't.

You waited for this for so long.

What if I change my mind?
Poor thing, he'll be alone.

But you will too.
-Again?!

Wasn't I alone enough?

Merav, you're just confused,

it will pass, don't worry.

When?

When will it pass?

By the wedding.

It's okay,
I'll go to another room.

Why's your mouth open?

Spicy.

Sure, that's a Mualem dish.

They want to see how tough
the Tishlers' stomach is.

I'm burning up.

It will pass.

Tell me, Silvan.
-Yes?

Do you feel
that something's off too?

In what respect?
-Merav.

Something's been off
since the moment she was born.

Every day, every hour.

I'm serious, Silvan,

I sense that she's agitated.

Don't be silly, okay?

Let's go to the pastry buffet
and get this tasting over with,

we have a long night ahead of us.

I don't think she's sure about the wedding.

She's sure, ripe and baked.

Don't put any ideas in her head.

You think everything's alright.
-Absolutely.

Since the day it was alright
it's never been as alright

as the most alright in the world.

Alright?
-Alright.

Alright then.

Let's go to the buffet.
-Alright, let's.

It was tough at the wedding.

Weddings are always tough.

You take two families,
total strangers

and you put them together
for a very long time.

It's tough.
-But if they love one another,

then it's alright, isn't it?

Yes, but it's still tough.

Meni, have you found out
what's going on?

Merav is crying. -Okay.

My mom was talking about food,

then the saliva in my mouth

got in my ears
and I lost the capacity to listen.

I hate when that happens to you.

Moshe and Aaron didn't help either.

That's no surprise.

Is my dad there?
-Yes, be strong.

Be sensitive.

So I reassured him

and he calmed down.

So it wasn't such a big deal.

I see I came
at a good time for the story.

A good time?

This wedding is sucking
all the energy out of us.

What won't we do
so that it happens?

Everything.

What "everything?"

You asked what you won't do,

so I said, everything.

Then the dancing started

and Aaron and I made our way
back to the lobby.

Hi, sweetcakes, I missed you,
I wanna get married already.

Let's get a move on,
we have a lot of tasting to do.

Merav, where to now?

Okay, we'll split up again,

I hope you remember
what was tasty and what wasn't,

more or less in a nutshell.

Now we're splitting up
and I miss you already.

Miss him later, let's go!

Alright. -Dad.
-Be quiet!

So Dad and I got
to the wedding from hell.

The desert at noon is like
a park in August compared to that.

Why? -So dry.

There was a 90 minute presentation
on the bride and groom's history,

it felt like a seminar
on the Holocaust and the early days of Zionism.

One presentation after the other

and the guests were as still as mice.

Are you sure it was a wedding?

The bride and groom were there,

there was music.

What kind?
-Real quiet.

At one point the guests asked
to turn it up.

And the food?
-The food was horrible,

the portions were tiny,

I asked the waiter to bring me more

and he gave me this look.

It was awful.

But not only that.

Enough, I can't take it anymore.

Let's go to the lobby.

No,

I can't take the stress
of my wedding,

I want to call it off.

Call it off?
Out of the question.

Out of the question.
You don't call off a wedding,

are you nuts?

But I'm not sure.

You will never, ever be completely sure,

you yourself will never be complete,

but in time you'll find
the missing parts and complete...

Take me, for example,

am I complete? I'm not complete.

But if you want to call it off,

your mother and I will fall to pieces.

Dad, with all due respect
to you and Mom,

it's my life
and only I'll decide.

What about me?

Dad, I've decided, no.

Oh please, for God's sake,
do me a favor...

don't...
-Yes,

I'm putting an end to this devil's dance.

Excuse me. -What?

Can you speak softer?
-Yes.

The groom's brother is playing the piccolo.
-Forgive us.

It's beautiful, yasou, carry on.

Imagine that.

Imagine that.

Aaron knew what he was saying.

What did he say?

He sensed that something was off with you.
-He did?

Yes, why are you surprised?

Mom and I felt the same way
from the moment you were born.

Good for you!

Excuse me, show some respect,
it's the piccolo.

Alright.

Piccolo, right...

What's with Orna.
-Man,

she's with Merav who's sobbing.

I couldn't take the tears and snot

so I came to you.

I hope she doesn't dirty her dress,
we're going out tonight.

I don't get what's going on.

Aaron's getting to the point.

Rachel and I were at
the Gargashvili-Budfika wedding.

And how was Rachel?
-Fine,

she gave me tips
on how to get her back to me.

What matters most is...

I got it, Rachel,

those are very important tips.
Thank you. -You're welcome.

...I want to get out of here.

Neither do I.

The food's amazing, it's great.

What?
-The food is great. -Ah.

That's it,
I did my utmost.

She's nuts.
-Totally.

Hi, honey, sweetie,
sweetcakes, honeybun.

How was it?
-Very tough.

It was so noisy that my mouth glands
couldn't understand the flavor of the food.

Sweetie.

It was an anthropological experience
that will take time to forget.

What now, we split up again?

Yes, you and Dad
to the Hanin-Regev wedding,

Aaron and me to a chat
about our relationship.

What? -To Grinspan-something.
We split!

That was a rough night.

The roughest.

Luckily I went to the next wedding with Rachel.

And how was the food?
-I didn't taste anything.

Don't tell Merav I didn't eat
or she'll eat me.

Metaphorically, right?

I don't know anymore.

What did you do there?

We cried.

Dad cried a lot,
I cried a little.

He felt that what we'd been waiting for
for years was falling apart.

This is awful.

Maybe she'll change her mind again.

Rachel, can't you see
that it's one big farce?

Aaron, we have to talk.

About what?
-Listen.

Hi, Merav,
what are you doing here?

Pinhas, Riki,
what are you doing here?

Don't shout,
this is a respectable event

that's not used to shouting.

We're here for a food tasting.

How was the tasting? Tasty?

Pinhas, I told you
not to use your humor

at social events, it's undignified.

Well, excuse me,
I'll go talk to Fanny.

She got a new bag
and wanted to show it to me.

Should I come with you?
-As you wish,

I'd rather not.

How wonderful,

a couple with years of love.

She knew I didn't want to go with her
and let me off the hook.

That's how it is
when you can read your partner,

I hope it's like that with you too.

Turns out it isn't.
-What?

Oops.

No, I had this feeling
that something's off with my Merav

but it seems she's fine
and I was wrong.

I guess I'll read her properly
in a few years.

Aw,

my care bear.

Oy.

Here they come.

Why are they together?

Mom, Dad,
I'm going to have the perfect husband.

What?
-What?

What?

Yes, they're getting married.

But my nerves started to weaken that night.

Yes, I get you.

But I still don't understand,

what did you fight about?

Wait, I don't get it.
-What did you fight about?

Aaron, that genius,

used my toothbrush.

Whatever, it happens sometimes.

It's not sometimes,

it's been a month.

Ew...

Let's decide never to talk about it again.

You mean as a rule?
-Yes.

A toothless rule.

Babe, without carbs
you're not funny.

The broccoli did you in.

Leave the jokes to your dad, okay?