SAS Rogue Heroes (2022): Season 1, Episode 6 - Episode #1.6 - full transcript
A meeting with Winston Churchill sees the SAS embark on their most daring operation to date. While success sees them achieve official status, Stirling receives some terrible news.
Your comrades will be men
who need only one order,
go, kill, return, go again.
We're going to be
taking a guest with us.
His first name is Randolph,
his second name is Churchill.
So, you're going to just drive
into Benghazi and plant explosives?
I'm now 25.
So what will you say to your
father when we get back to London?
I will say, holy, holy...
I have 20 of the toughest,
finest paratroopers in the
French Army under my command.
Company, follow monsieur.
Paddy, perhaps you would
like to inspect your men.
You are a German in a
Frenchman's uniform.
Expect to be isolated
by my contempt.
- I am German too.
- Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Deutsch.
This is Aspirant Halevy.
He speaks German as
well. He is Jewish
I am a hand grenade, sir.
Pull the pin, throw me where
the enemy's most numerous.
And how is Dudley Clarke
responding to all the glory?
It seems he's inpatient
for your destruction.
We are apparently
the talk of Cairo.
I'm going to ask GHQ for jeeps,
Vickers machine guns,
explosives, more men.
Now is our moment.
Based on a true story,
the events depicted which
seem most unbelievable
are mostly true.
CIARO JUNE 1942
Following the defeat of army
in the western desert battle
and the fall of Tobruk,
disappointment,
another defeat after
so many defeats.
With Egypt, the naval
base of Alexandria,
all that stands in the middle...
Malta is our last hope of fighting
back in the Mediterranean.
If Malta falls...
Africa is lost.
Can't be relied upon
to do it yourself.
And besides, some of the infected places
would be very difficult for you to reach.
I don't want you going
into any of those places.
You go nowhere the
sunlight does not go.
Unfortunately, in the desert the
sun goes everywhere and the sand.
It's the grit that
does the damage.
Oh, god.
Do you remember collapsing?
I remember hearing Tobruk
had fallen and then I fell.
And I remember getting very drunk.
And dancing at the Empire Club.
You were leaning not dancing.
You stood on the table and
told everyone you loved me.
Dear God.
Love?
Oh, I do apologise.
It must've been the whisky.
It was delirium, sunstroke,
deep tissue infections accumulated
during three months in the deep desert
without a break.
While I was delirious, I
had this rather mad delusion
that should officially confirm
that you are my girlfriend.
Officially?
As if it were a military rank.
Quite. And as my
temperature rose,
I thought I might
propose marriage.
- But, in the cold light of day...
- It's never cold in the day in Cairo.
Well in the light of day I
suppose it would be rather odd
to propose to a woman
whilst she removes puss
from open wounds in
your infected groin.
If that is rather odd,
I'd hate to see very odd.
Well very odd would be me talking
about the subject at all, Eve, but...
if I were to propose...
If you were to propose,
I would remind you that there is a
war going on which we are losing.
I have nothing else on my mind.
You need to be on top form for your
meeting with your Prime Minister.
Try not to walk like a duck.
Turn over for me.
Absolutely not.
No, no. No!
BRITISH EMBASSY CAIRO
Julius Caesar.
Act one scene... two.
"Let me have men about
me that are fat."
"Sleek headed men, and
such as sleep o' nights.
"Yon Cassius has a
lean and hungry look.
"He thinks too much.
Such men are dangerous."
Come on, Winston.
Next line.
"Fear him not, Caesar.
He is not dangerous,
"he is a noble Roman
and, well given.
"He reads much, he
is a great observer
"and he looks quite
through the deeds of men."
You are Major David Stirling.
L Detachment SAS, sir.
This is the famous
Phantom Major.
This is Field Marshal Jan Smuts,
Prime Minister of South Africa.
And General
Auchinlek... you know.
You were walking in a
little awkwardly, Stirling.
- Have you been wounded?
- No, I...
I have desert sores
all over my cock.
Most crucially,
I have one four
inches up my arse.
ROGUE HEROES
Can I pinch a light?
Sorry. I've been in the
desert a long, long time.
One loses propriety
very quickly.
When my son reported
back to me about you,
he quoted Lord Byron.
"He is the mildest manner'd man
"whoever scuttled the
ship or cut a throat."
We are a band of oddities,
gentlemen and pirates.
I brought you into the garden to
tell you that now more than ever,
your new brand of
warfare is needed.
Auchinlek has been too cautious.
Tobruk has fallen, Rommel's now
50 miles outside of Alexandria.
Malta is our last remaining hope
for controlling
the Mediterranean
and supplying our
North Africa armies.
Now, Malta is still under siege
and it's been
hammered and hammered,
but it has not surrendered.
My wish
is that the Island
of Malta be saved.
I intend
to send two convoys
of relief supplies
from Gibraltar and Alexandria.
These convoys must get through.
And what exactly would
you like me to do?
I want you to not
ask that question.
Do whatever you think
best to achieve this goal.
You have a free hand
from Tripoli to Greece.
To Greece?
I have told General Auchinlek that the
whole of the south Mediterranean coast
is now your remit.
If you succeed,
I will recommend to Army Council
that the SAS become a regiment.
Not a phantom regiment,
but a real one
with you as commanding officer.
Yes, sir. It...
- That would be...
- It would be what?
I would be achieving what
I set out to achieve, sir.
Now, exactly how serious
is your cock and arse condition?
It's... it's nothing that kind
hands and iodine cannot resolve.
Well then, we must set
you to work straight away.
- What will you need?
- I will need your autograph, sir.
My autograph?
A souvenir to remember the day.
Of course.
My autograph.
- Do you have a pen?
- Yes.
General Auchinlek.
Prime Minister.
Stirling would like your
autograph. He wants your signature.
A souvenir of the day.
Sir, a blank sheet of paper signed
by the two of us could be used for...
Just sign it, General.
Thank you.
Stirling.
Forget the etiquette of war.
Do whatever it takes.
Prime Minister, I hope you
know what you're doing.
Of course I know what I'm doing.
I'm letting slip
the dogs of war.
Bloody hell.
I'm gonna shoot
the wee ball bag.
Oh, for fucks sake.
Well, well, well.
Nice 'tache.
Is this Agincourt or Orleans?
It's Orleans, sir.
And I'm afraid the game is over.
I have new instructions from
Prime Minister Winston Churchill.
Go to the mess hall and
take off all your clothes.
E'are boys. Winston wants
to see your winkies.
Firstly,
I have asked you all to stand naked
because this gentleman is a doctor,
Doctor Gamal.
He is a man I've known for a very
long time and whom I trust implicitly,
even when he's high out of his
head on his own laughing gas.
He is very discreet.
Go on.
I've brought him here from Cairo to
make sure you men are all fit and ready
for what lies ahead.
The first task I have given him
is to inspect you
all for desert sores
and open ulcers which
many of you have
and conceal as I once did.
So we need you all to be fit
because, gentlemen,
our moment of truth has come.
- Dear God, man.
- I'm sorry, sir.
That's no desert sore, doctor,
I can hear Dave at night.
I'm sorry, sir.
We are about to
embark on a mission
from which I would estimate one
third of us will not return.
In 48 hours, two convoys are
taking supplies to Malta.
Hitler will throw every
plane he has at them.
Our job is to destroy as many of
those planes on the ground as we can
before those convoys set sail.
We are going to simultaneously
attack six airbases
along the Mediterranean coast.
From Benina, in the west,
to Heraklion, in the east.
- Yes, Paddy?
- What business do we have in Crete?
Our sphere of
operation has expanded.
- And how the fuck do we get to Crete?
- In a submarine.
And how the fuck are we
gonna get a submarine?
I've already got a
fucking submarine.
As well as 50 extra jeeps to go
with the 50 already promised,
which will all fitted with
Vickers heavy machine guns
and bulletproof windscreens
taken from fighter planes.
We also have 20 new trucks,
Beretta submachine guns
adapted for sand conditions,
replacement engines for all our
vehicles with cooling systems.
And just wait until you see
what the twin Vickers can do.
And the good wishes of the
King via the Commander in Chief
of British Forces North Africa.
But firstly, whose cock
did you suck in Cairo, sir?
Right, those of you with
ribbons go with Doctor Gamal,
he will remove the infected
flesh with a toothbrush.
When you are
brushed, bandaged up,
pumped full of pain killers,
amphetamines and sulphur,
we will begin our
glorious expansion.
Yes!
Hands up.
God almighty.
From here on in, I'm going to keep
my toothbrush on me at all times
so that Doctor Gamal
doesn't get to it first.
Six targets.
Who's going where?
Well, Paddy, you will take Berka
satellite airfield number one.
While Zirnheld, you will take
Berka satellite airfield number two
so that you can compete
with one another
for most number of
planes destroyed.
Captain Berge,
you will board the
submarine Triton
and travel to the Gulf of
Malia off the coast of Crete.
You will be met by
Captain Alexander Norton.
Together you will attack
the airstrip at Heraklion.
Who will take Derna and Martuba?
They're 190 kilometres
behind German lines.
You will take Derna and Martuba.
Intelligence have provided us
with a stolen German truck.
Yes, and I have offered the
services of Bruckner and Essner,
our two native Germans.
- Essner?
- Yes, Essner.
What is it, Paddy?
If it were me crossing frontlines
into German territory with...
Sergeant Essner,
I would keep a Colt .45
revolver in very close proximity
to the back of his
head at all times.
- I know my men.
- Nobody can know nobody.
- Nobody can know everybody.
- Nobody can know everybody.
Not bad, Paddy.
I mean look at my friend here
before he left for Cairo
he was like a pirate.
Now there's a different
look about him.
Too many pats on the head from
generals has made you dizzy boy.
Counting airstrips like a
rich man counting coins.
You have great difficulty with
approval, don't you, Paddy?
You'd just rather
play the renegade.
- I see a new ambition.
- There is no time to be unambitious.
Convoys are setting
sail for Malta.
You don't know who might
be listening to you.
- I know my fucking...
- Colt .45 at all times!
Fuck you.
David, I assume you'll be
taking the remaining airstrip.
- Benina.
- Benina.
Aye, right, Benina.
The biggest airstrip
of them all.
More kills in bloody Benina,
more bangs and fuel at Benina.
Given himself the best
as per fucking usual.
Yes, that's right, Paddy, and
I'm bringing back the blackboard.
Now, you should know I'll be taking
no part in counting dead bodies.
Nobody's asking you to you white
flagged waggon shite of buckets.
Paddy!
Tonight we are soldiers with one
goal, we fight as one or fail,
including the two
Germans, Paddy.
Do not think that I did not see
you refuse Doctor Gamal's ribbon.
Go and get your
fucking ulcers scrubbed
before we depart and
that is an order.
I remember when this regiment
used to be unknown and unobserved.
Christ, we used to be
some crack back then.
We're not a regiment.
Not yet.
Now I get it.
We will be reckless in pursuit
of your own lofty ambition.
Yes, that's right,
Paddy. Exactly right.
The prize has been
offered, the game is on,
and we will win if
we do this my way.
When the rest of you fuck up,
I'm answerable to myself.
- A moment...
- Are you done?
I gad to switch the spark
plugs. All six are working now.
All of them?
You're now the property
of the German Reich!
My friend, you are right.
Remember we're prisoners of
war. You need to look defeated.
- Come on, boys.
- Come on boys, let's crack on.
Good luck, gentlemen!
Good luck, old chap.
Race you to Berka.
Our biggest jolly yet.
Let's go!
GREAT SAND SEA 20
MILES SOUTH OF BERKA
Frenchie!
This is where we split.
You're going northeast!
And Frenchie, remember.
You don't fire a shot
until the moon sets.
May the best man win.
Aye, right.
GREAT SAND SEA 20
MILES WEST OF BENINA
MALIA BAY CRETE
COAST ROAD 20
MILES WEST OF DERNA
- What is this?
- Looks like an Italian checkpoint.
Tell them to shut up.
Silence.
Papers.
How are the women in Derna?
- What are you carrying?
- We're carrying prisoners.
A group of French bastards.
Hey, brother! Do you
have a cigarette for me?
- These Germans won't give me any.
- You want a cigarette?
Bastards. Fuck you!
- Here.
- The pride of the Free French Army.
- Let them through.
- Thank you!
- Start setting the fuses.
- Now?
We'll be at Derna airstrip in half
an hour. Prime the one hour fuses.
Roll out the barrel.
The gangs all here.
Those are your
disguises, gentlemen.
- Got a bit wet when the tide came in.
- I hung them out to dry.
Everyone on this
island wears black
to mourn the death
of the Messiah.
Another English madman.
You're Norton I presume?
Yes. Better get into costume.
Curtain up in 45 minutes, chaps.
Monsieur. Let's go!
Pistols only, gents.
We don't wanna draw
attention to ourselves.
BENINA AIRFIELD
What fuses do we
use tonight, boss?
Tonight we don't use fuses.
So what do we do?
They used to call people whose minds
were altered by the moon, lunatics.
Tonight we will raise a little
bedlam with our new toys.
- I have had an idea.
- Fuck.
BERKA AIRFIELD 1
We'll wait here
until the moon sets.
BERKA AIRFIELD 2
It looks quiet. Should
we go now Zirnheld?
CRETE
We've seen Nazi occupied Europe.
For every German we kill,
there may be a reprisal.
Don't think about it, old boy.
Just do it.
Right. This is
where we split up.
- Bonne chance.
- Good luck.
Come on.
Right, prepare to attack.
For fuck sake.
Think Zirnheld might have
gone a tad early, sir.
- Very free.
- Very French.
Fuck, I knew it. Bravo
Stirling. There goes Malta.
Paddy?
Paddy?
Paddy come on, you
know we can't do this.
You have to stand down.
Paddy, I could give the order.
Let the French have this one.
We can get them
another day, Paddy.
Maybe the others will
have better luck.
We're standing down boys. Head
back to the rendezvous point.
Fuck sake.
There's something
wrong with the engine.
- It's probably the spark plug again.
- I thought you'd fixed it.
I thought I had.
Shit!
This can't be Derna.
Why have we stopped?
The engine is misfiring.
I need to fix it.
It's not long until
the bombs go off.
Give me a minute. There's
a repair shop here.
- I just need a spark plug.
- Go, quickly.
Essner is a good man.
Essner is a good man?
I've known him for two years.
He only calls me Jew
when he is drunk.
Cut me free.
Come on, cut me
free. Hurry up!
Cut everyone free.
And be ready.
Thank you!
- What are you doing?
- Did you get it?
Hurry up!
It's ok, Essner is alone.
- Where is Brükner?
- I don't know.
- Where is Brükner?
- He was just here.
- Hands up, now!
- What have you done?
Hands up!
Now!
It's over.
Move. Get back to
your men. Move!
I will warn every airfield
in the Mediterranean.
Malta will fall and all Africa will have
the honor of serving The Third Reich.
Get out. Get out of the
truck! We've been betrayed.
Halvéy, get out!
Get out you Jewish pig! Get
out or I will shoot you!
Get out the truck, Halévy!
Halévy, get out now,
you dirty little Jew!
Get out now, you coward!
I don't forget. I don't forgive!
Get out or you can sing
for your dead family.
Courage, soldier!
For my family!
HERAKLION AIRFIELD CRETE
Go, go, go!
Now fly like geese!
Butcher 'em...
Sarge, they're unarmed.
Rat bastards!
Yeah!
Come on!
Johnny. How old are you now?
I don't add unarmed
men to my tally.
You stay low.
Hands up!
CAPITAINE GEORGE
BERGÉ CAPTURED CRETE.
JUNE 19TH 1942
nearly on, lads.
Oy, any score?
Anything for your
famous blackboard?
15 Stukas,
18 Messerschmitts.
How about you?
Nothing.
Premature ejaculation
on part of the French.
Who's back?
You, me, Zirnheld and Jordan.
You did well.
Why is there no jollity?
Jollity?
Because...
We caught them off-guard. Shot
at them rather like you at Tamet.
Armed or unarmed
they are the enemy.
Yes?
I asked you a question...
Captain Mayne.
Yes, sir.
Armed or unarmed...
they are the enemy.
I was wrong about Essner.
The traitor was Bruckner.
The whole unit wiped
out except Jordan.
Death sits easy on
your shoulders comrade.
Turns out...
we drink from the
same well after all.
If you're drunk, please go away.
If you're sober, I will
throw you off this balcony.
I've stopped
drinking, completely.
Three months.
I need to speak to you.
Yes, I've found someone,
someone who's prepared to tolerate
the sharp words and harsh impulses.
You nearly killed the son
of the Prime Minister.
Yes, well Vodka does...
- Does make some poor decisions.
- Yeah.
Now, I would apologise, but...
After you've heard
what I have to say,
you won't remember anything
I said before, so...
When did you get back to Cairo?
Yesterday.
Have you been trying
to contact Eve?
I called her, but there was no
reply, I thought she might be here.
Yeah, Eve was flown over to
Alexandria three days ago
on the orders of
General De Gaulle.
And she set off back to
Cairo yesterday afternoon,
I think she was wanting to
be there for your arrival.
And she hitched a lift
from a mail plane.
There was a terrible sandstorm
east of Alexandria last night.
And the pilot took
evasive action but...
The Chief of Cairo Bureau
said that the plane went down
in the Qattara Depression.
Wreckage hasn't
been located yet.
I'm so sorry, David.
I mean...
Of course.
- I'm so, so sorry, it's just...
- What else?
Everything I touch, boom, gone.
There no more.
Would you like me
to order you a...
- Order you a car?
- No.
No, I'm just... I'm just
waiting for it to catch up.
Never real, the first minutes.
She was remarkable woman.
Terribly bad luck,
isn't it, I suppose.
Just when we had something
to celebrate, I mean...
You should go home.
I was going to take her dancing.
Dancing.
I'll be at the bar, I'll...
When you're ready to leave
I'll order you a car.
So, gentlemen,
news of the real world beyond
our jolly little circus.
We are fewer than we were,
but... those men we lost gave
their lives in a winning cause.
The relief convoys which set
sail from Malta one week ago
consisted of 17 ships.
15 of those ships were
sunk by German aircraft,
but two ships made it
through to the letter.
Two heavily laden
supply ships with food,
medicine, weapons,
and ammunition.
Malta is saved.
Africa is saved from fascism
because of you.
Because the planes you destroyed
are the planes that would've
sunk the two ships that made it.
But in the words of
Winston Churchill,
this is not the beginning of
the end, this is the end...
of the beginning.
While we were saving Malta,
our American cousins finally
finished their extended round of golf
and decided to join in and
give us a bit of a hand.
- Well about fucking time.
- Too right.
The Americans are landing their first
attachment of elite troops at Casablanca
and will head east.
We will gather our forces
in Egypt and head west.
The Germans and the
Italians are in the middle.
It would be foolhardy
to think that any of our forces can
make it all the way through enemy lines
to link up with the
Americans, but we are fools.
Famous fools.
So that is exactly what
I am going to try to do.
I shall enter the lion's den
in search of a potential
supply line through Gabes Gap
to link up our two armies.
The rest of you continue
your fantastic work
making axis aeroplanes go pop and
bang in the middle of the night.
While I was in Cairo
I got a note from GHQ.
The special air service
known as L Detachment...
is now...
officially...
a British Army regiment.
- I owe you a shilling, lads.
- Come on!
- That's on the house, mate.
- We did it, gentlemen.
We did it.
Congratulations, sir.
Hurrah for the
new Colonel, lads.
To fallen comrades.
- Well done, reg.
- Good.
Congratulations, boys.
- Well done.
- Pleasure.
Dear Mother,
you may have read in the papers
the good news about Malta.
I don't want to come
the swank or be pomposo,
but I want you to know that I had
some part in making this happen.
And you should know
that you and Father
had some part in making me the
soldier who could play that part.
Meanwhile, my holiday in the
sun continues to be eventful.
Yours in victory, your
loving son, David.
Go.
Kill.
Return.
Go again.
We're trapped!
Fuck!
Stop!
Stop. Sadler, run!
Sir, fucking run!
Phantom Major, drop your weapon.
He's got to surrender.
If he shoots, he's dead.
Fucks sake.
Shit!
Drop your weapon. Last
warning or we will shoot.
What the fuck are we
supposed to do now?
I suppose we better go
and find some Americans.
Come on.
Head down.
Vehicle approaching!
This came in from
GHQ Cairo, sir.
Stirling captured at Gabes Gap.
Stop.
Overall command of SAS regiment,
all units to pass to...
Overall command of SAS regiment,
all units to pass to...
Major Robert Blair Paddy Mayne.
They've made you a major and
put you in charge, Paddy.
The mad bastards have put you
in charge of fucking everything.
Now the blood will flow.
Revised and Synchronized
by FAST TITLES MEDIA
who need only one order,
go, kill, return, go again.
We're going to be
taking a guest with us.
His first name is Randolph,
his second name is Churchill.
So, you're going to just drive
into Benghazi and plant explosives?
I'm now 25.
So what will you say to your
father when we get back to London?
I will say, holy, holy...
I have 20 of the toughest,
finest paratroopers in the
French Army under my command.
Company, follow monsieur.
Paddy, perhaps you would
like to inspect your men.
You are a German in a
Frenchman's uniform.
Expect to be isolated
by my contempt.
- I am German too.
- Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Deutsch.
This is Aspirant Halevy.
He speaks German as
well. He is Jewish
I am a hand grenade, sir.
Pull the pin, throw me where
the enemy's most numerous.
And how is Dudley Clarke
responding to all the glory?
It seems he's inpatient
for your destruction.
We are apparently
the talk of Cairo.
I'm going to ask GHQ for jeeps,
Vickers machine guns,
explosives, more men.
Now is our moment.
Based on a true story,
the events depicted which
seem most unbelievable
are mostly true.
CIARO JUNE 1942
Following the defeat of army
in the western desert battle
and the fall of Tobruk,
disappointment,
another defeat after
so many defeats.
With Egypt, the naval
base of Alexandria,
all that stands in the middle...
Malta is our last hope of fighting
back in the Mediterranean.
If Malta falls...
Africa is lost.
Can't be relied upon
to do it yourself.
And besides, some of the infected places
would be very difficult for you to reach.
I don't want you going
into any of those places.
You go nowhere the
sunlight does not go.
Unfortunately, in the desert the
sun goes everywhere and the sand.
It's the grit that
does the damage.
Oh, god.
Do you remember collapsing?
I remember hearing Tobruk
had fallen and then I fell.
And I remember getting very drunk.
And dancing at the Empire Club.
You were leaning not dancing.
You stood on the table and
told everyone you loved me.
Dear God.
Love?
Oh, I do apologise.
It must've been the whisky.
It was delirium, sunstroke,
deep tissue infections accumulated
during three months in the deep desert
without a break.
While I was delirious, I
had this rather mad delusion
that should officially confirm
that you are my girlfriend.
Officially?
As if it were a military rank.
Quite. And as my
temperature rose,
I thought I might
propose marriage.
- But, in the cold light of day...
- It's never cold in the day in Cairo.
Well in the light of day I
suppose it would be rather odd
to propose to a woman
whilst she removes puss
from open wounds in
your infected groin.
If that is rather odd,
I'd hate to see very odd.
Well very odd would be me talking
about the subject at all, Eve, but...
if I were to propose...
If you were to propose,
I would remind you that there is a
war going on which we are losing.
I have nothing else on my mind.
You need to be on top form for your
meeting with your Prime Minister.
Try not to walk like a duck.
Turn over for me.
Absolutely not.
No, no. No!
BRITISH EMBASSY CAIRO
Julius Caesar.
Act one scene... two.
"Let me have men about
me that are fat."
"Sleek headed men, and
such as sleep o' nights.
"Yon Cassius has a
lean and hungry look.
"He thinks too much.
Such men are dangerous."
Come on, Winston.
Next line.
"Fear him not, Caesar.
He is not dangerous,
"he is a noble Roman
and, well given.
"He reads much, he
is a great observer
"and he looks quite
through the deeds of men."
You are Major David Stirling.
L Detachment SAS, sir.
This is the famous
Phantom Major.
This is Field Marshal Jan Smuts,
Prime Minister of South Africa.
And General
Auchinlek... you know.
You were walking in a
little awkwardly, Stirling.
- Have you been wounded?
- No, I...
I have desert sores
all over my cock.
Most crucially,
I have one four
inches up my arse.
ROGUE HEROES
Can I pinch a light?
Sorry. I've been in the
desert a long, long time.
One loses propriety
very quickly.
When my son reported
back to me about you,
he quoted Lord Byron.
"He is the mildest manner'd man
"whoever scuttled the
ship or cut a throat."
We are a band of oddities,
gentlemen and pirates.
I brought you into the garden to
tell you that now more than ever,
your new brand of
warfare is needed.
Auchinlek has been too cautious.
Tobruk has fallen, Rommel's now
50 miles outside of Alexandria.
Malta is our last remaining hope
for controlling
the Mediterranean
and supplying our
North Africa armies.
Now, Malta is still under siege
and it's been
hammered and hammered,
but it has not surrendered.
My wish
is that the Island
of Malta be saved.
I intend
to send two convoys
of relief supplies
from Gibraltar and Alexandria.
These convoys must get through.
And what exactly would
you like me to do?
I want you to not
ask that question.
Do whatever you think
best to achieve this goal.
You have a free hand
from Tripoli to Greece.
To Greece?
I have told General Auchinlek that the
whole of the south Mediterranean coast
is now your remit.
If you succeed,
I will recommend to Army Council
that the SAS become a regiment.
Not a phantom regiment,
but a real one
with you as commanding officer.
Yes, sir. It...
- That would be...
- It would be what?
I would be achieving what
I set out to achieve, sir.
Now, exactly how serious
is your cock and arse condition?
It's... it's nothing that kind
hands and iodine cannot resolve.
Well then, we must set
you to work straight away.
- What will you need?
- I will need your autograph, sir.
My autograph?
A souvenir to remember the day.
Of course.
My autograph.
- Do you have a pen?
- Yes.
General Auchinlek.
Prime Minister.
Stirling would like your
autograph. He wants your signature.
A souvenir of the day.
Sir, a blank sheet of paper signed
by the two of us could be used for...
Just sign it, General.
Thank you.
Stirling.
Forget the etiquette of war.
Do whatever it takes.
Prime Minister, I hope you
know what you're doing.
Of course I know what I'm doing.
I'm letting slip
the dogs of war.
Bloody hell.
I'm gonna shoot
the wee ball bag.
Oh, for fucks sake.
Well, well, well.
Nice 'tache.
Is this Agincourt or Orleans?
It's Orleans, sir.
And I'm afraid the game is over.
I have new instructions from
Prime Minister Winston Churchill.
Go to the mess hall and
take off all your clothes.
E'are boys. Winston wants
to see your winkies.
Firstly,
I have asked you all to stand naked
because this gentleman is a doctor,
Doctor Gamal.
He is a man I've known for a very
long time and whom I trust implicitly,
even when he's high out of his
head on his own laughing gas.
He is very discreet.
Go on.
I've brought him here from Cairo to
make sure you men are all fit and ready
for what lies ahead.
The first task I have given him
is to inspect you
all for desert sores
and open ulcers which
many of you have
and conceal as I once did.
So we need you all to be fit
because, gentlemen,
our moment of truth has come.
- Dear God, man.
- I'm sorry, sir.
That's no desert sore, doctor,
I can hear Dave at night.
I'm sorry, sir.
We are about to
embark on a mission
from which I would estimate one
third of us will not return.
In 48 hours, two convoys are
taking supplies to Malta.
Hitler will throw every
plane he has at them.
Our job is to destroy as many of
those planes on the ground as we can
before those convoys set sail.
We are going to simultaneously
attack six airbases
along the Mediterranean coast.
From Benina, in the west,
to Heraklion, in the east.
- Yes, Paddy?
- What business do we have in Crete?
Our sphere of
operation has expanded.
- And how the fuck do we get to Crete?
- In a submarine.
And how the fuck are we
gonna get a submarine?
I've already got a
fucking submarine.
As well as 50 extra jeeps to go
with the 50 already promised,
which will all fitted with
Vickers heavy machine guns
and bulletproof windscreens
taken from fighter planes.
We also have 20 new trucks,
Beretta submachine guns
adapted for sand conditions,
replacement engines for all our
vehicles with cooling systems.
And just wait until you see
what the twin Vickers can do.
And the good wishes of the
King via the Commander in Chief
of British Forces North Africa.
But firstly, whose cock
did you suck in Cairo, sir?
Right, those of you with
ribbons go with Doctor Gamal,
he will remove the infected
flesh with a toothbrush.
When you are
brushed, bandaged up,
pumped full of pain killers,
amphetamines and sulphur,
we will begin our
glorious expansion.
Yes!
Hands up.
God almighty.
From here on in, I'm going to keep
my toothbrush on me at all times
so that Doctor Gamal
doesn't get to it first.
Six targets.
Who's going where?
Well, Paddy, you will take Berka
satellite airfield number one.
While Zirnheld, you will take
Berka satellite airfield number two
so that you can compete
with one another
for most number of
planes destroyed.
Captain Berge,
you will board the
submarine Triton
and travel to the Gulf of
Malia off the coast of Crete.
You will be met by
Captain Alexander Norton.
Together you will attack
the airstrip at Heraklion.
Who will take Derna and Martuba?
They're 190 kilometres
behind German lines.
You will take Derna and Martuba.
Intelligence have provided us
with a stolen German truck.
Yes, and I have offered the
services of Bruckner and Essner,
our two native Germans.
- Essner?
- Yes, Essner.
What is it, Paddy?
If it were me crossing frontlines
into German territory with...
Sergeant Essner,
I would keep a Colt .45
revolver in very close proximity
to the back of his
head at all times.
- I know my men.
- Nobody can know nobody.
- Nobody can know everybody.
- Nobody can know everybody.
Not bad, Paddy.
I mean look at my friend here
before he left for Cairo
he was like a pirate.
Now there's a different
look about him.
Too many pats on the head from
generals has made you dizzy boy.
Counting airstrips like a
rich man counting coins.
You have great difficulty with
approval, don't you, Paddy?
You'd just rather
play the renegade.
- I see a new ambition.
- There is no time to be unambitious.
Convoys are setting
sail for Malta.
You don't know who might
be listening to you.
- I know my fucking...
- Colt .45 at all times!
Fuck you.
David, I assume you'll be
taking the remaining airstrip.
- Benina.
- Benina.
Aye, right, Benina.
The biggest airstrip
of them all.
More kills in bloody Benina,
more bangs and fuel at Benina.
Given himself the best
as per fucking usual.
Yes, that's right, Paddy, and
I'm bringing back the blackboard.
Now, you should know I'll be taking
no part in counting dead bodies.
Nobody's asking you to you white
flagged waggon shite of buckets.
Paddy!
Tonight we are soldiers with one
goal, we fight as one or fail,
including the two
Germans, Paddy.
Do not think that I did not see
you refuse Doctor Gamal's ribbon.
Go and get your
fucking ulcers scrubbed
before we depart and
that is an order.
I remember when this regiment
used to be unknown and unobserved.
Christ, we used to be
some crack back then.
We're not a regiment.
Not yet.
Now I get it.
We will be reckless in pursuit
of your own lofty ambition.
Yes, that's right,
Paddy. Exactly right.
The prize has been
offered, the game is on,
and we will win if
we do this my way.
When the rest of you fuck up,
I'm answerable to myself.
- A moment...
- Are you done?
I gad to switch the spark
plugs. All six are working now.
All of them?
You're now the property
of the German Reich!
My friend, you are right.
Remember we're prisoners of
war. You need to look defeated.
- Come on, boys.
- Come on boys, let's crack on.
Good luck, gentlemen!
Good luck, old chap.
Race you to Berka.
Our biggest jolly yet.
Let's go!
GREAT SAND SEA 20
MILES SOUTH OF BERKA
Frenchie!
This is where we split.
You're going northeast!
And Frenchie, remember.
You don't fire a shot
until the moon sets.
May the best man win.
Aye, right.
GREAT SAND SEA 20
MILES WEST OF BENINA
MALIA BAY CRETE
COAST ROAD 20
MILES WEST OF DERNA
- What is this?
- Looks like an Italian checkpoint.
Tell them to shut up.
Silence.
Papers.
How are the women in Derna?
- What are you carrying?
- We're carrying prisoners.
A group of French bastards.
Hey, brother! Do you
have a cigarette for me?
- These Germans won't give me any.
- You want a cigarette?
Bastards. Fuck you!
- Here.
- The pride of the Free French Army.
- Let them through.
- Thank you!
- Start setting the fuses.
- Now?
We'll be at Derna airstrip in half
an hour. Prime the one hour fuses.
Roll out the barrel.
The gangs all here.
Those are your
disguises, gentlemen.
- Got a bit wet when the tide came in.
- I hung them out to dry.
Everyone on this
island wears black
to mourn the death
of the Messiah.
Another English madman.
You're Norton I presume?
Yes. Better get into costume.
Curtain up in 45 minutes, chaps.
Monsieur. Let's go!
Pistols only, gents.
We don't wanna draw
attention to ourselves.
BENINA AIRFIELD
What fuses do we
use tonight, boss?
Tonight we don't use fuses.
So what do we do?
They used to call people whose minds
were altered by the moon, lunatics.
Tonight we will raise a little
bedlam with our new toys.
- I have had an idea.
- Fuck.
BERKA AIRFIELD 1
We'll wait here
until the moon sets.
BERKA AIRFIELD 2
It looks quiet. Should
we go now Zirnheld?
CRETE
We've seen Nazi occupied Europe.
For every German we kill,
there may be a reprisal.
Don't think about it, old boy.
Just do it.
Right. This is
where we split up.
- Bonne chance.
- Good luck.
Come on.
Right, prepare to attack.
For fuck sake.
Think Zirnheld might have
gone a tad early, sir.
- Very free.
- Very French.
Fuck, I knew it. Bravo
Stirling. There goes Malta.
Paddy?
Paddy?
Paddy come on, you
know we can't do this.
You have to stand down.
Paddy, I could give the order.
Let the French have this one.
We can get them
another day, Paddy.
Maybe the others will
have better luck.
We're standing down boys. Head
back to the rendezvous point.
Fuck sake.
There's something
wrong with the engine.
- It's probably the spark plug again.
- I thought you'd fixed it.
I thought I had.
Shit!
This can't be Derna.
Why have we stopped?
The engine is misfiring.
I need to fix it.
It's not long until
the bombs go off.
Give me a minute. There's
a repair shop here.
- I just need a spark plug.
- Go, quickly.
Essner is a good man.
Essner is a good man?
I've known him for two years.
He only calls me Jew
when he is drunk.
Cut me free.
Come on, cut me
free. Hurry up!
Cut everyone free.
And be ready.
Thank you!
- What are you doing?
- Did you get it?
Hurry up!
It's ok, Essner is alone.
- Where is Brükner?
- I don't know.
- Where is Brükner?
- He was just here.
- Hands up, now!
- What have you done?
Hands up!
Now!
It's over.
Move. Get back to
your men. Move!
I will warn every airfield
in the Mediterranean.
Malta will fall and all Africa will have
the honor of serving The Third Reich.
Get out. Get out of the
truck! We've been betrayed.
Halvéy, get out!
Get out you Jewish pig! Get
out or I will shoot you!
Get out the truck, Halévy!
Halévy, get out now,
you dirty little Jew!
Get out now, you coward!
I don't forget. I don't forgive!
Get out or you can sing
for your dead family.
Courage, soldier!
For my family!
HERAKLION AIRFIELD CRETE
Go, go, go!
Now fly like geese!
Butcher 'em...
Sarge, they're unarmed.
Rat bastards!
Yeah!
Come on!
Johnny. How old are you now?
I don't add unarmed
men to my tally.
You stay low.
Hands up!
CAPITAINE GEORGE
BERGÉ CAPTURED CRETE.
JUNE 19TH 1942
nearly on, lads.
Oy, any score?
Anything for your
famous blackboard?
15 Stukas,
18 Messerschmitts.
How about you?
Nothing.
Premature ejaculation
on part of the French.
Who's back?
You, me, Zirnheld and Jordan.
You did well.
Why is there no jollity?
Jollity?
Because...
We caught them off-guard. Shot
at them rather like you at Tamet.
Armed or unarmed
they are the enemy.
Yes?
I asked you a question...
Captain Mayne.
Yes, sir.
Armed or unarmed...
they are the enemy.
I was wrong about Essner.
The traitor was Bruckner.
The whole unit wiped
out except Jordan.
Death sits easy on
your shoulders comrade.
Turns out...
we drink from the
same well after all.
If you're drunk, please go away.
If you're sober, I will
throw you off this balcony.
I've stopped
drinking, completely.
Three months.
I need to speak to you.
Yes, I've found someone,
someone who's prepared to tolerate
the sharp words and harsh impulses.
You nearly killed the son
of the Prime Minister.
Yes, well Vodka does...
- Does make some poor decisions.
- Yeah.
Now, I would apologise, but...
After you've heard
what I have to say,
you won't remember anything
I said before, so...
When did you get back to Cairo?
Yesterday.
Have you been trying
to contact Eve?
I called her, but there was no
reply, I thought she might be here.
Yeah, Eve was flown over to
Alexandria three days ago
on the orders of
General De Gaulle.
And she set off back to
Cairo yesterday afternoon,
I think she was wanting to
be there for your arrival.
And she hitched a lift
from a mail plane.
There was a terrible sandstorm
east of Alexandria last night.
And the pilot took
evasive action but...
The Chief of Cairo Bureau
said that the plane went down
in the Qattara Depression.
Wreckage hasn't
been located yet.
I'm so sorry, David.
I mean...
Of course.
- I'm so, so sorry, it's just...
- What else?
Everything I touch, boom, gone.
There no more.
Would you like me
to order you a...
- Order you a car?
- No.
No, I'm just... I'm just
waiting for it to catch up.
Never real, the first minutes.
She was remarkable woman.
Terribly bad luck,
isn't it, I suppose.
Just when we had something
to celebrate, I mean...
You should go home.
I was going to take her dancing.
Dancing.
I'll be at the bar, I'll...
When you're ready to leave
I'll order you a car.
So, gentlemen,
news of the real world beyond
our jolly little circus.
We are fewer than we were,
but... those men we lost gave
their lives in a winning cause.
The relief convoys which set
sail from Malta one week ago
consisted of 17 ships.
15 of those ships were
sunk by German aircraft,
but two ships made it
through to the letter.
Two heavily laden
supply ships with food,
medicine, weapons,
and ammunition.
Malta is saved.
Africa is saved from fascism
because of you.
Because the planes you destroyed
are the planes that would've
sunk the two ships that made it.
But in the words of
Winston Churchill,
this is not the beginning of
the end, this is the end...
of the beginning.
While we were saving Malta,
our American cousins finally
finished their extended round of golf
and decided to join in and
give us a bit of a hand.
- Well about fucking time.
- Too right.
The Americans are landing their first
attachment of elite troops at Casablanca
and will head east.
We will gather our forces
in Egypt and head west.
The Germans and the
Italians are in the middle.
It would be foolhardy
to think that any of our forces can
make it all the way through enemy lines
to link up with the
Americans, but we are fools.
Famous fools.
So that is exactly what
I am going to try to do.
I shall enter the lion's den
in search of a potential
supply line through Gabes Gap
to link up our two armies.
The rest of you continue
your fantastic work
making axis aeroplanes go pop and
bang in the middle of the night.
While I was in Cairo
I got a note from GHQ.
The special air service
known as L Detachment...
is now...
officially...
a British Army regiment.
- I owe you a shilling, lads.
- Come on!
- That's on the house, mate.
- We did it, gentlemen.
We did it.
Congratulations, sir.
Hurrah for the
new Colonel, lads.
To fallen comrades.
- Well done, reg.
- Good.
Congratulations, boys.
- Well done.
- Pleasure.
Dear Mother,
you may have read in the papers
the good news about Malta.
I don't want to come
the swank or be pomposo,
but I want you to know that I had
some part in making this happen.
And you should know
that you and Father
had some part in making me the
soldier who could play that part.
Meanwhile, my holiday in the
sun continues to be eventful.
Yours in victory, your
loving son, David.
Go.
Kill.
Return.
Go again.
We're trapped!
Fuck!
Stop!
Stop. Sadler, run!
Sir, fucking run!
Phantom Major, drop your weapon.
He's got to surrender.
If he shoots, he's dead.
Fucks sake.
Shit!
Drop your weapon. Last
warning or we will shoot.
What the fuck are we
supposed to do now?
I suppose we better go
and find some Americans.
Come on.
Head down.
Vehicle approaching!
This came in from
GHQ Cairo, sir.
Stirling captured at Gabes Gap.
Stop.
Overall command of SAS regiment,
all units to pass to...
Overall command of SAS regiment,
all units to pass to...
Major Robert Blair Paddy Mayne.
They've made you a major and
put you in charge, Paddy.
The mad bastards have put you
in charge of fucking everything.
Now the blood will flow.
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