SAS Rogue Heroes (2022): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript
The newly recruited members of the SAS carry out a disastrous and devastating first mission. Determined to prove their strategy will work, they prepare to try again.
We would be a regiment shooting
grouse in their roost in the dark.
GUNSHOT
Riley, Almonds.
Remember the parachutes?
Stirling wants to know
if we'll do it again.
I'm not asking for anything
other than permission.
And 60 men.
Men I will choose according
to my own criteria.
Why do you want to fight
in the desert, Dave?
Well, I just want to kill
them fascists, sir.
This regiment isn't all Paddies,
is it?
If you decide to join them,
I will join the SAS too.
They've been sent to a place
called Kabrit,
200 miles behind the German
and Italian lines.
What are their chances of survival?
10%?
This is SAS base camp.
Stopping the advance of fascism
across Africa is now down to us.
God help us.
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-
WIND BLOWS
MILITARY MUSIC
At ease!
Pay the madman. He is the madman!
Here! Do you postmen have a problem
with a wee bit of wind?
Oh, Paddy, shut up.
I'd fly one of these
fuckin' things myself.
Sure it's just a truck
with a lot of ambition.
OK, that's enough.
Shouldn't get fucking smart with me.
Step aside.
Gentlemen, I understand
your concerns regarding the weather.
This isn't weather.
This is the whole desert
risen up into the air.
General Auchinleck will move
his eighth army
against Rommel's front line
in order to relieve Tobruk.
If Tobruk falls...
Tobruk will not fall!
..Cairo and the Suez Canal are next.
Malta and the Mediterranean
topple like dominoes.
It ends with Rommel rolling
his Panzers up the Mall
towards Buckingham Palace.
His planes must not attack
our troops.
The SAS have trained for months
to blow them up on the ground.
We will not be stood down.
Many lives depend on us.
It's God's work.
We have one shot at this.
Do you understand? Your job is to
deliver us and turn back.
We will make our own way home.
The wind is 30 knots.
15 knots is considered unsafe.
War is fucking unsafe!
OK, enough. Enough. Besides!
Captain Stirling outranks you.
You will have to sleep with your own
conscience if Auchinleck's advance
is stopped by air superiority
and Tobruk falls to the enemy.
Get your men boarded.
Good man.
Was that too much?
I think it went rather well.
Mad bastard.
Letters from home in the bag.
Time is now!
Corp 3, ready? ALL: Sir!
Off we pop.
It's time, lads.
Corp 2!
Corp 1!
"Dear Mother.
"If I don't return
and there is a body to burn,
"spread my ashes among the heather
and let the grouse laugh at my fate.
"Because now it is I and my comrades
"who are the grouse
flying onto the gun.
"And below us the enemy
are even now loading up
"and taking aim."
"My dearest Mirren.
You know I love you.
"I know I could make you so happy
that you wouldn't want to die
"in case heaven wasn't as good.
"Just say yes, you'll marry me
when I'm a proper captain,
"and I won't ask you
to put it in the papers,
"because I might die tonight.
"And then people would say 'ha-ha'
or they would say 'poor dear',
"and both are horrid.
"And if all this
is a lovely dream of mine,
"well, it has been lovely
dreaming it."
"The potential for greatness
of these men is huge.
"I just hope these other officers
can see that.
"Or they'll be added to the long
list of silver-spoon-fed idiots..."
"This new outfit I got mixed up in
is pretty curious.
"During our brief period of
training, the men have lived on
"rum and lime, rum and tea..."
"Dear sister. I'm having a very
jolly time with this new unit.
"I sincerely hope I get a chance
"to show the officers what I can do
with a rifle."
"It's a fine crowd of lads, love,
so you're not to worry.
"You just get all the happiness
out of life that you can.
"Anything that brings you happiness,
kid."
THEY SHOUT
Fuck this.
WIND HOWLS
"I have been reunited with an old
friend from the Ulster Rifles.
"He's a Protestant. Paddy Mayne.
"Though he drinks like a Catholic."
"We're able to talk about home
to each other.
"He's the same man I knew
in Ireland,
"but lately, I'm changed by him."
"There's a fellow here
I knew in Ulster. Eoin McGonigal.
"He's from the other side,
but we don't talk religion.
"If I sit up barking and howling
at night, as I sometimes do,
"he takes me for a walk
and throws a stick for me.
"When I find myself become a devil,
"he reminds me that underneath
I am a poet."
Sir! Pilot wants a word with you.
Nothing to worry about, lads.
Just a bit of fun, eh?
We're two minutes from the drop.
But Captain Stirling, if you go out
in this, it will be suicide.
Suicide, Captain Stirling,
nothing more.
There's no shame in turning back
on a night like this.
Think of your men.
Gentlemen aboard have been appraised
of their circumstances
and have made their decisions.
Proceed with your descent.
The mad bastards are going to jump.
Are we ready, chaps?
ALL: Yes, sir!
It's a ten-mile stroll
to the airstrips.
We'll bomb their planes
while they sleep
and rendezvous with Paddy
and Jock's boys
for a rum breakfast, yes?
ALL: Yes!
Bloody hell, Mitcham,
you're looking pale.
Are you tempted? No, sir. No?
Nah!
All right, listen up!
No dicking about!
Stand up.
Hook up.
SHOUTS ORDERS
Action stations!
Trigger release!
WIND HOWLS, MAN SHOUTS
YELLING
SHOUTS
WIND QUIETENS
DISTANT SHOUTING: L Detachment!
L Detachment!
Holden? Gates? Mitcham?
RAGGED BREATHING
L Detachment!
Gates, Mitcham!
GROANS
Sir!
Oh! Sir!
GROANS
I was... I was dragged
over the cliff.
Aaah! Can you stand?
No.
I cannot stand, sir.
I heard my spine snap.
Like a fucking gunshot.
SCREAMS
Do you want some water?
I cannot stand this pain.
I'm sorry. Mitcham, no!
SHOUTS: Fuck!
May the Lord have mercy
on your soul.
And on mine.
Well, Father?
You said war could be unpleasant.
I found explosives and machine guns.
Then fortune is with us.
Let's move.
Move where, sir?
The airfields.
There are only eight of us, sir.
So it'll be harder for them
to see us from the air. Come on.
Warm up.
What's wrong with your arm?
It's broken, sir.
Then...
..you are lucky, in the SAS,
you don't have to salute.
SHOUTS, GRUNTS
Now, before we proceed,
we need to ascertain
where the airfields are.
And to do that, we need to ascertain
where we are.
Riley, I believe you retained
your compass.
All I can say for sure is
that the airfields are on the coast
and that we are south of them.
Good.
So we head north.
There are only eight of us...sir.
If you make that observation
again...
..there will only be seven of us.
I would head north
even if I were alone.
Right. We've got work to do.
Do you think
there's a far border town
Somewhere at the desert's edge
The last of the lands we know?
GUNSHOT
Some gaunt, eventual
limit of our light
In which I'll find you waiting.
And we'll go together
hand in hand again
Out there into the wastes
we know not
Into the light.
GUNSHOT
Eh? Oh, thanks.
McGonigal, sir.
Oh.
OK.
OK.
He landed all gut...
Yes, I understand.
Did you manage to locate
any of the weapons?
Found only one machine gun
and six grenades.
No explosives or detonators.
They will all be buried in the sand
on account of the wind.
We'll use your grenades.
You what?
We will head north,
that fucking way, up there.
And we will reach the coast,
and we will find our airfields.
Yeah, well, Paddy, we won't destroy
a single fucking thing
with what we've got, lad. Paddy.
We were going to head south.
Sir, there were dark clouds -
it's going to rain.
We need to move to a higher ground
before we get washed away.
Right.
This was a fuck-up, yeah?
And a grand old fuck-up it was.
Now, if we wipe ourselves out,
it will be the only thing
that we ever did, Paddy.
They'll say that all we ever did
was fuck up.
GHQ will laugh at us.
So your conclusion
is that we should stand down?
Is that it?
Paddy, I didn't mean...
Your conclusion, Corporal,
is that we should stand down.
I don't mean nothing by it.
Is that it?
After what they've done to him?
It wasn't them that killed him.
It was the wind and the fall
and our decision,
the decision we all made.
Sorry, sir.
Paddy, we need to be alive
to go again.
So should we move out?
It's rain. Paddy,
we can't leave without you.
It's fine. Go.
I'll catch you up.
Go.
Right, gather your belongings
and fuck off.
DISTANT THUNDER
RAIN FALLS
THUNDER CRASHES
Come on, Cooper, get up from there!
Give me your hand.
Do we even know where we're going,
sir?
Of course!
Jack!
There's water in the compass.
Also in the loose bombs.
They're drenched.
Completely useless.
The bombs in our packs are called
Lewes bombs because Lewes is my name
and I fucking invented them.
I will decide when they are useless!
SHOUTING
Get him out, for God's sake!
Come on, you're all right.
Unless you want us all to drown,
we must start back.
Do you know I once swam the Thames?
From Tower Bridge.
Just as Julius Caesar
swam the Tiber.
Rest a bit! Jack!
Look...
the water's turned the desert
into quicksand.
You can't walk across quicksand,
let alone swim it.
I am not suggesting, Riley,
that I am Julius Caesar,
but like Caesar, my first attempt
at conquest has been thwarted.
Caesar withdrew and came back.
That is what we will do.
We will go,
but we will come back.
Yes.
With certainty.
Come on, you heard the man. Move!
WIND WHISTLES
I can hear singing.
DISTANT SINGING
SINGING CONTINUES
Now you sing the second verse
in order to reassure them
that we are not German.
In Kabrit, we officers resolved
a desert procedure.
If you see a fire in the night,
you sing the first verse
and the people at the fire
sing the second verse.
Because if we were Germans,
we wouldn't know the words.
Any of you lads know
the second verse?
No.
No. Well...
..if you don't sing it
in the next...30 seconds,
then the procedure is to open fire.
If Paddy's out there,
it'll be five seconds.
God, how amusing this all is.
# Hail, hail, the gang's all here
# What the hell do we care?
What the hell do we care?
# What the hell do we care?
# Hail, hail, the gang's all here
# What the hell do we care?
Now...
# Roll out the barrel
# We'll have a barrel of fun
ALL: # Roll out the barrel
Come on!
# We've got the blues on the run
# Zing, boom, tararrel
# Sing out a song of good cheer
# Now it's time to roll the barrel
# For the gang's all here! #
All right, sir?
Except the gang is not...
..all here, is it?
No, the gang is not all here.
Just us.
MUFFLED CONVERSATION
There's some, er...
..tea, Paddy.
Come on, mate.
There we are.
Paddy?
JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING
# A fellow in the forces
# Was writing a letter
# From somewhere in the east
# Talk of a blinking feast
# He says it's just Blackpool Sands
# We play with hands grenades
# If we had known
we would have brought along
# Our buckets and spades
# Out in the Middle East
You can have a lot of fun
# Out in the Middle East
by the Mediterranean
# Join the forces,
they used to say
# And see the world
It sounds OK
# But you see nowt but sand all day
# Out in the Middle East
# And when you're hungry
# They never serve you up
some hot pot
# You never get a gentle breeze
a-blowing wind round your whatnot
# On your heads you've hats
like saucepan lids
# You take off your
well-I-never-dids
# It gets a bit hot... #
Looks like our passengers
have arrived.
I thought there were 55 of them.
Don't worry.
You'll still be paid
if you drive home empty.
Mm.
Long Range Desert Group!
Identify yourself.
Cooper.
We are L Detachment,
First Special Air Service Brigade.
What's left of us.
Maybe it's your attitude.
Maybe it's the way you walk.
But you are walking on a tightrope.
This is a big desert,
but there is no room in it
for realists or pragmatists
or believers in common sense.
Last night was the first uncertain
step on the long walk to glory.
There is no other narrative.
That's it, old boy, come on.
What happened?
We experienced some weather.
Ah, yes.
Are you in charge here?
The desert's in charge here.
Maybe you've learned that, sir.
What news of Tobruk?
We've been away from radio.
Come on. Get a nice bath,
drink a beer, or two, or three,
and then we'll talk about Tobruk.
Come on.
Another fuck-up?
Another fuck-up.
But anyway, we run the rickshaws
into town.
How many more can we expect?
Ah, well...
..the weather we experienced
was very bad, sir.
Yes.
Perhaps not many.
Right. And, er...
how long do you want to wait?
Oh, you know.
Forever.
Mm.
No. I don't like waiting around.
I have a poker game in Cairo
on Thursdays.
SHOUTS: We have some cattle
to round up.
Let's go, boys. Come on.
On your feet.
Come on!
MUSIC: Slow Ride
by Foghat
# Slow ride
# Take it easy
# Slow ride... #
# I've got a great big amount
saved up in my lover's house... #
HUMS TUNE
Big leap, boys!
# Take it easy
WHOOPS
# Slow ride
WHOOPING
# Take it easy
# I'm in the mood
# The rhymes is right
Woohoo!
# Move to the music
# We can roll all night... #
How the hell are you going to
find them in this vastness?
In the desert, everything
can be predicted.
You were dropped in the north quad,
number 12.
Then rain came.
Rising flood sends your boys
on to high ground.
The Platypus Ridge,
which runs south,
so they walk south
until the ridge splits.
Fuck off back there.
Ha-ha!
Come on!
Then they reach the oasis,
which even the Brits can see
on account of the vegetation.
Come on!
Then they follow
the dried-up riverbed south
until they arrive...
..right just about...
..now. Round about there.
Looks like I will make
my poker game.
# I'm in the mood
# The rhythm is right
# Move to the music... #
I only count eight of our men.
22 survivors out of...
..55.
Not a shot fired,
except a damn good soldier
firing into his own brain.
Not a plane destroyed, not
a fucking detonator detonated.
What will GHQ do?
About what?
Nothing happened.
Our mission was never authorised,
so no-one will know.
There are a few at GHQ that do know,
and they will laugh.
But...
..mostly they will be too busy
losing the war to care.
And we will be stood down
when we get back to Cairo.
Yes.
If we go back.
They say the boys
from the Long Range Desert Group
can find a pencil
in 1,000 square miles of desert
just so long as it casts a shadow.
They can find a downed pilot
in an area the size of England
in the middle of the night
in a sandstorm.
So?
So...I wonder...
..if they can find the SAS
a place of sanctuary.
HORN BEEPS
Hello!
WHOOPING
BAND PLAYS JAZZ MUSIC
What are you doing here?
GUNSHOT
I come here to relax.
I thought it was time for us
to update each other
on some recent events.
Your office was locked.
Recent events? General de Gaulle
needs to be kept informed
of British strategies
in North Africa.
French 75.
Tell me, what is the general's
main concern at the moment?
Fuck you.
Where are they?
Do you mean where are they?
Or where is he?
Do you want to have dinner?
No. Just tell me where they are.
No-one is saying anything.
For Cairo, that is unusual.
CLEARS THROAT
Well, truth is,
no-one knows where they are.
Any survivors should have
reported back two weeks ago.
We've had no communications
of any sort.
What happened to them?
Well, before you begin to imagine
some heroic combat,
it's almost certain
that if they are all dead,
they weren't killed by the Germans
or the Italians.
They were killed by the desert.
The wind, the sand, the thorns.
Oh, and by the reckless decision
taken by our friend
and his comrades
because they couldn't stand
to lose face.
They decided to take off
and make a parachute drop at night
in the middle of
a fucking sandstorm.
What is it about Stirling
that you dislike so much?
I invented the SAS.
And he had no right to destroy it
on its first mission.
And if it's not destroyed,
it's now a laughing stock
among the few people
who even know it exists.
In terms of percentage,
I'm afraid the chances of Stirling
being still alive
are just this side of zero.
I thought you knew the rules
of engagement in time of war.
Fucking is fine.
Feeling is not.
MUSIC PLAYING
Now, then.
This, my friends, is Jalo.
Literally, unquestionably,
undeniably the middle
of fucking nowhere.
If fucking nowhere had
a capital city, this would be it.
And this would be the main street
of fucking nowhere city.
And the Lord Mayor would be fucking
no-one, presiding over fuck all
in a place where there was no-one
around to give a fuck.
Which is exactly what you asked for,
Captain Stirling, am I right?
We could carry on driving,
but I'd say this place
is as good as any other part
of nowhere we might find.
How far to the German airfield?
Sirte is 350 miles north-west.
The Allied front line?
The first Allied position
you'd come to
is the New Zealand Reserve troop,
80 miles across open desert.
But the Kiwi fighting men
have been sent north,
so the camp is empty.
If you need any help,
there isn't any.
The New Zealand camp is empty,
you say?
A few wounded, a few guards.
And a few empty trucks,
one might imagine.
Maybe some guns they left behind.
Maybe some ammunition.
Will there be a piano?
A fucking piano?
The capital city of fucking nowhere
will do us just fine.
But first, we need to do
a spot of shopping.
Come on, you dishy bastard.
MUSIC: I Fought The Law
by The Clash
# Breakin' rocks in the hot sun
# I fought the law
and the law won... #
Thieving bastard? Never me.
# I fought the law and the law won
# I needed money cos I had none
# I fought the law
and the law won... #
If I'd known you were going
to rob the place,
I wouldn't have brought you, sir.
Call me David, not sir.
# ..and it feels so bad
# Guess my race is run
# She's the best girl
that I ever had
# I fought the law and the law won
# I fought the law and the
# I fought the law and the law won
# I fought the law and the law won
# I fought the law and the law won
HORNS BLARE
# I fought the law and the law won
# I fought the law and the law won
# I fought the law and the... #
THEY CHEER
Philips! Sentry duty.
On the tower, one hour.
And if you can, perhaps you might
bury the explosive canisters
to keep them out of the direct heat.
Where can I put the piano?
You play the piano, Paddy? No.
Eoin was trying to teach me.
I want to carry on.
Put it in the mess hall.
There isn't a mess hall.
So build one.
Seekings? Yes, boss.
Now, last night
was rather a success,
so we have something to celebrate.
What did you steal
by way of drinks?
45 gallons of New Zealand rum, sir.
Good boy. Right.
So by the time that we're unpacked,
it will be cocktail hour.
And then when we've had our
cocktails and the sun is set,
I think we should go for
a bit of jolly.
Ammunition will be signed in
by Lieutenant Fraser.
Unless he has a problem with that.
No, sir.
Refuel your vehicles, Mr Sadler.
We go tonight.
MUSIC: Wheels of Steel
by Saxon
Get the tents up.
Let's not be too creative!
Call me Mike.
Targets will be given on the coast.
Ten Lewes bombs to each man.
At the ready!
Have your ten-minute fuses
and your 30-minute fuses.
Do not use your bombs until you can
smell the Messerschmitts!
SAS mission number one!
Move out, you fucking virgins.
Come on, Bob.
# She's got mean wheels of steel
# She's got
# Wheels of steel
# Wheels of steel
# Talkin' about my wheels of steel
# Wheels of steel.. #
We are ten miles outside of
Sirte airstrip, directly north.
I'm going to pick three men,
take them there,
and do what damage I can.
Lewes, you will take your men
to Mersa Brega.
Your target is fuel trucks
and supply trucks.
Paddy, you will take your men
to Tamet Airstrip.
Your target is Italian Caproni
fighter bombers and Messerschmitts.
Bill Fraser, where are you?
I'm here. Come on.
I hear during the fuck-up
that you repeatedly asked questions
of your commanding officer.
Well, we have decided, in order
to avoid further fuck-ups,
that questions are to be welcomed
in the SAS.
You will pick four men
and travel to Agedabia.
If questions are welcome, sir,
I've got a question. Yes?
Can me the boys have some rum?
Oh, absolutely.
Please. Come on.
Right. We rendezvous back here
tomorrow morning.
You and your drivers wait here
for our return.
With all due respect, sir,
I'm fucking sick of being
the taxi service.
I can read this desert better
than any man here.
Well, if it's action
that you're after,
go with Paddy Mayne.
We have a second chance.
Let's see what the stars
have in store for us, shall we?
MEN CHEER
SHOUTS ORDERS
It's empty.
They've all flown.
Shit.
Prime fuses. Ten minutes.
Go.
Riley. Take one man,
go to the right.
Almonds, take three men,
flank round from the rear.
Back here in eight minutes.
Hit as many trucks as you can.
For God's sake, don't be seen.
Go.
Sadler. Huh?
This is a famous Lewes bomb.
Never heard of it.
That's because it's only famous
amongst us.
Jock Lewes invented it.
He cooked us up a prototype.
Tonight, we're going to
try them out.
You've never used them before?
No, but Jock Lewes is very smart.
I'm sure we'll be fine.
These are all being primed and ready
to go off in ten minutes, right?
From now?
From now.
So we should fucking
get on with it, Paddy.
Ten minutes is plenty of time, boys.
Plenty of time for what?
DISTANT LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
They're drunk, Paddy.
We could blow the bombs
and be gone before they know...
Low-hanging fruit, ripe apples.
Those drunks are pilots
and engineers when they sober up.
So to fuck with conventions,
Geneva or otherwise.
This is our fucking work, boys.
This is who we are,
to kill and be killed.
Any man too just and good and noble
for work like this can stay behind,
polish their bullets,
make a nice wee necklace.
Myself, I am tranquil.
I never go to parties
to which I am invited anyway.
WHISPERS: Go.
Go, go, go.
CHATTER
RAUCOUS CONVERSATION, RECORD PLAYS
Would you like a light?
Here you are.
No. English, actually.
LAUGHS
Inglese!
Si.
English.
Hello!
CHOKES
KNIFE SCRAPES
HORN BLARES
SHOUTS IN GERMAN
Fuck.
Good evening.
RECORD PLAYING
GUNFIRE
ROCK MUSIC
Take cover!
SHOUTING
Three minutes, the bombs go off!
Including this truck!
Not ideal.
WHIMPERING
They've had enough now, Paddy.
Paddy!
Paddy!
GUNFIRE
Two minutes to blow the planes,
boys. Move!
Fucking move!
Jack?
In one minute, this truck's about to
get a bit hot!
Not helpful.
Come on! Move!
SHOUTING
Where's Paddy?
Where on earth is he?
WHISTLES
Paddy!
Paddy!
Go!
SCREAMING
The bombs!
SHOUTING
Move!
Go! Go!
Paddy!
THEY WHOOP
Get back to those Jeeps.
Paddy, hurry up!
Paddy!
MUSIC: New Rose
by The Damned
LAUGHS
# I've got a feeling inside me
EXPLOSIONS DROWN MUSIC
# I guess these things
have got to be
# I've got a new rose
I've got it good
# Guess I knew that I always would
# I can't stop to mess around
WHOOPS
# I got a brand-new rose in town
# See the sun
See the sun, it shines
# I guess these things
have got to be
# I got a new rose
I got it good... #
DISTANT EXPLOSIONS
Boys.
THEY LAUGH
That's Mersa Brega and Agedabia
blown to hell, sir.
Yes!
DISTANT EXPLOSIONS
And that's Paddy Mayne at Tamet.
LAUGHS
And here am I in the dark
and silence in Sirte.
It's not a competition, sir.
Of course it fucking is.
Come on.
MORSE CODE
Sir. Report from intelligence.
MORSE CODE CONTINUES
Ah, my dear.
At last, I have something to report
that's actually true.
Actually fucking true.
Intercepted radio communications
between the German
and Italian Air Force commands
says that the night before last,
48 fighter bombers
and fighter aircraft were destroyed
while on the ground
at two separate air bases -
destroyed by men who appeared
apparently from nowhere
and disappeared into the desert.
Also, 17 fuel tankers,
supply trucks, ammunition crates
and explosives were destroyed
at Mersa Brega.
Apparently, those few who caught
a glimpse of the attackers
said they wore no uniforms
and looked like wild savages.
So he's alive.
The important thing
is that my creation is alive.
I think the mystery of what happened
to L Detachment First SAS Brigade
may have been solved, sir.
Well, I think that boy
might just have won his bet.
PIANO PLAYS SIMPLE TUNE
TAILS OFF
RESTARTS
Oh, I see.
I see.
MUSIC: Smash It Up
by The Damned
Let the games begin.
# We've been crying now
for much too long
# And now we're gonna dance
to a different song
# I'm gonna scream and shout
till my dying breath
# I'm gonna smash it up
till there's nothing left
# Ooh, smash it up!
# Smash it up, smash it up!
# Ooh, smash it up!
# Smash it up, smash it up!
# People call me villain
Oh, it's such a shame
# Maybe its my clothes
must be to blame
# I don't even care if I look a mess
# Don't want to be a sucker
like all the rest
# Ooh, smash it up
# Smash it up, smash it up! #
grouse in their roost in the dark.
GUNSHOT
Riley, Almonds.
Remember the parachutes?
Stirling wants to know
if we'll do it again.
I'm not asking for anything
other than permission.
And 60 men.
Men I will choose according
to my own criteria.
Why do you want to fight
in the desert, Dave?
Well, I just want to kill
them fascists, sir.
This regiment isn't all Paddies,
is it?
If you decide to join them,
I will join the SAS too.
They've been sent to a place
called Kabrit,
200 miles behind the German
and Italian lines.
What are their chances of survival?
10%?
This is SAS base camp.
Stopping the advance of fascism
across Africa is now down to us.
God help us.
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-
WIND BLOWS
MILITARY MUSIC
At ease!
Pay the madman. He is the madman!
Here! Do you postmen have a problem
with a wee bit of wind?
Oh, Paddy, shut up.
I'd fly one of these
fuckin' things myself.
Sure it's just a truck
with a lot of ambition.
OK, that's enough.
Shouldn't get fucking smart with me.
Step aside.
Gentlemen, I understand
your concerns regarding the weather.
This isn't weather.
This is the whole desert
risen up into the air.
General Auchinleck will move
his eighth army
against Rommel's front line
in order to relieve Tobruk.
If Tobruk falls...
Tobruk will not fall!
..Cairo and the Suez Canal are next.
Malta and the Mediterranean
topple like dominoes.
It ends with Rommel rolling
his Panzers up the Mall
towards Buckingham Palace.
His planes must not attack
our troops.
The SAS have trained for months
to blow them up on the ground.
We will not be stood down.
Many lives depend on us.
It's God's work.
We have one shot at this.
Do you understand? Your job is to
deliver us and turn back.
We will make our own way home.
The wind is 30 knots.
15 knots is considered unsafe.
War is fucking unsafe!
OK, enough. Enough. Besides!
Captain Stirling outranks you.
You will have to sleep with your own
conscience if Auchinleck's advance
is stopped by air superiority
and Tobruk falls to the enemy.
Get your men boarded.
Good man.
Was that too much?
I think it went rather well.
Mad bastard.
Letters from home in the bag.
Time is now!
Corp 3, ready? ALL: Sir!
Off we pop.
It's time, lads.
Corp 2!
Corp 1!
"Dear Mother.
"If I don't return
and there is a body to burn,
"spread my ashes among the heather
and let the grouse laugh at my fate.
"Because now it is I and my comrades
"who are the grouse
flying onto the gun.
"And below us the enemy
are even now loading up
"and taking aim."
"My dearest Mirren.
You know I love you.
"I know I could make you so happy
that you wouldn't want to die
"in case heaven wasn't as good.
"Just say yes, you'll marry me
when I'm a proper captain,
"and I won't ask you
to put it in the papers,
"because I might die tonight.
"And then people would say 'ha-ha'
or they would say 'poor dear',
"and both are horrid.
"And if all this
is a lovely dream of mine,
"well, it has been lovely
dreaming it."
"The potential for greatness
of these men is huge.
"I just hope these other officers
can see that.
"Or they'll be added to the long
list of silver-spoon-fed idiots..."
"This new outfit I got mixed up in
is pretty curious.
"During our brief period of
training, the men have lived on
"rum and lime, rum and tea..."
"Dear sister. I'm having a very
jolly time with this new unit.
"I sincerely hope I get a chance
"to show the officers what I can do
with a rifle."
"It's a fine crowd of lads, love,
so you're not to worry.
"You just get all the happiness
out of life that you can.
"Anything that brings you happiness,
kid."
THEY SHOUT
Fuck this.
WIND HOWLS
"I have been reunited with an old
friend from the Ulster Rifles.
"He's a Protestant. Paddy Mayne.
"Though he drinks like a Catholic."
"We're able to talk about home
to each other.
"He's the same man I knew
in Ireland,
"but lately, I'm changed by him."
"There's a fellow here
I knew in Ulster. Eoin McGonigal.
"He's from the other side,
but we don't talk religion.
"If I sit up barking and howling
at night, as I sometimes do,
"he takes me for a walk
and throws a stick for me.
"When I find myself become a devil,
"he reminds me that underneath
I am a poet."
Sir! Pilot wants a word with you.
Nothing to worry about, lads.
Just a bit of fun, eh?
We're two minutes from the drop.
But Captain Stirling, if you go out
in this, it will be suicide.
Suicide, Captain Stirling,
nothing more.
There's no shame in turning back
on a night like this.
Think of your men.
Gentlemen aboard have been appraised
of their circumstances
and have made their decisions.
Proceed with your descent.
The mad bastards are going to jump.
Are we ready, chaps?
ALL: Yes, sir!
It's a ten-mile stroll
to the airstrips.
We'll bomb their planes
while they sleep
and rendezvous with Paddy
and Jock's boys
for a rum breakfast, yes?
ALL: Yes!
Bloody hell, Mitcham,
you're looking pale.
Are you tempted? No, sir. No?
Nah!
All right, listen up!
No dicking about!
Stand up.
Hook up.
SHOUTS ORDERS
Action stations!
Trigger release!
WIND HOWLS, MAN SHOUTS
YELLING
SHOUTS
WIND QUIETENS
DISTANT SHOUTING: L Detachment!
L Detachment!
Holden? Gates? Mitcham?
RAGGED BREATHING
L Detachment!
Gates, Mitcham!
GROANS
Sir!
Oh! Sir!
GROANS
I was... I was dragged
over the cliff.
Aaah! Can you stand?
No.
I cannot stand, sir.
I heard my spine snap.
Like a fucking gunshot.
SCREAMS
Do you want some water?
I cannot stand this pain.
I'm sorry. Mitcham, no!
SHOUTS: Fuck!
May the Lord have mercy
on your soul.
And on mine.
Well, Father?
You said war could be unpleasant.
I found explosives and machine guns.
Then fortune is with us.
Let's move.
Move where, sir?
The airfields.
There are only eight of us, sir.
So it'll be harder for them
to see us from the air. Come on.
Warm up.
What's wrong with your arm?
It's broken, sir.
Then...
..you are lucky, in the SAS,
you don't have to salute.
SHOUTS, GRUNTS
Now, before we proceed,
we need to ascertain
where the airfields are.
And to do that, we need to ascertain
where we are.
Riley, I believe you retained
your compass.
All I can say for sure is
that the airfields are on the coast
and that we are south of them.
Good.
So we head north.
There are only eight of us...sir.
If you make that observation
again...
..there will only be seven of us.
I would head north
even if I were alone.
Right. We've got work to do.
Do you think
there's a far border town
Somewhere at the desert's edge
The last of the lands we know?
GUNSHOT
Some gaunt, eventual
limit of our light
In which I'll find you waiting.
And we'll go together
hand in hand again
Out there into the wastes
we know not
Into the light.
GUNSHOT
Eh? Oh, thanks.
McGonigal, sir.
Oh.
OK.
OK.
He landed all gut...
Yes, I understand.
Did you manage to locate
any of the weapons?
Found only one machine gun
and six grenades.
No explosives or detonators.
They will all be buried in the sand
on account of the wind.
We'll use your grenades.
You what?
We will head north,
that fucking way, up there.
And we will reach the coast,
and we will find our airfields.
Yeah, well, Paddy, we won't destroy
a single fucking thing
with what we've got, lad. Paddy.
We were going to head south.
Sir, there were dark clouds -
it's going to rain.
We need to move to a higher ground
before we get washed away.
Right.
This was a fuck-up, yeah?
And a grand old fuck-up it was.
Now, if we wipe ourselves out,
it will be the only thing
that we ever did, Paddy.
They'll say that all we ever did
was fuck up.
GHQ will laugh at us.
So your conclusion
is that we should stand down?
Is that it?
Paddy, I didn't mean...
Your conclusion, Corporal,
is that we should stand down.
I don't mean nothing by it.
Is that it?
After what they've done to him?
It wasn't them that killed him.
It was the wind and the fall
and our decision,
the decision we all made.
Sorry, sir.
Paddy, we need to be alive
to go again.
So should we move out?
It's rain. Paddy,
we can't leave without you.
It's fine. Go.
I'll catch you up.
Go.
Right, gather your belongings
and fuck off.
DISTANT THUNDER
RAIN FALLS
THUNDER CRASHES
Come on, Cooper, get up from there!
Give me your hand.
Do we even know where we're going,
sir?
Of course!
Jack!
There's water in the compass.
Also in the loose bombs.
They're drenched.
Completely useless.
The bombs in our packs are called
Lewes bombs because Lewes is my name
and I fucking invented them.
I will decide when they are useless!
SHOUTING
Get him out, for God's sake!
Come on, you're all right.
Unless you want us all to drown,
we must start back.
Do you know I once swam the Thames?
From Tower Bridge.
Just as Julius Caesar
swam the Tiber.
Rest a bit! Jack!
Look...
the water's turned the desert
into quicksand.
You can't walk across quicksand,
let alone swim it.
I am not suggesting, Riley,
that I am Julius Caesar,
but like Caesar, my first attempt
at conquest has been thwarted.
Caesar withdrew and came back.
That is what we will do.
We will go,
but we will come back.
Yes.
With certainty.
Come on, you heard the man. Move!
WIND WHISTLES
I can hear singing.
DISTANT SINGING
SINGING CONTINUES
Now you sing the second verse
in order to reassure them
that we are not German.
In Kabrit, we officers resolved
a desert procedure.
If you see a fire in the night,
you sing the first verse
and the people at the fire
sing the second verse.
Because if we were Germans,
we wouldn't know the words.
Any of you lads know
the second verse?
No.
No. Well...
..if you don't sing it
in the next...30 seconds,
then the procedure is to open fire.
If Paddy's out there,
it'll be five seconds.
God, how amusing this all is.
# Hail, hail, the gang's all here
# What the hell do we care?
What the hell do we care?
# What the hell do we care?
# Hail, hail, the gang's all here
# What the hell do we care?
Now...
# Roll out the barrel
# We'll have a barrel of fun
ALL: # Roll out the barrel
Come on!
# We've got the blues on the run
# Zing, boom, tararrel
# Sing out a song of good cheer
# Now it's time to roll the barrel
# For the gang's all here! #
All right, sir?
Except the gang is not...
..all here, is it?
No, the gang is not all here.
Just us.
MUFFLED CONVERSATION
There's some, er...
..tea, Paddy.
Come on, mate.
There we are.
Paddy?
JAUNTY MUSIC PLAYING
# A fellow in the forces
# Was writing a letter
# From somewhere in the east
# Talk of a blinking feast
# He says it's just Blackpool Sands
# We play with hands grenades
# If we had known
we would have brought along
# Our buckets and spades
# Out in the Middle East
You can have a lot of fun
# Out in the Middle East
by the Mediterranean
# Join the forces,
they used to say
# And see the world
It sounds OK
# But you see nowt but sand all day
# Out in the Middle East
# And when you're hungry
# They never serve you up
some hot pot
# You never get a gentle breeze
a-blowing wind round your whatnot
# On your heads you've hats
like saucepan lids
# You take off your
well-I-never-dids
# It gets a bit hot... #
Looks like our passengers
have arrived.
I thought there were 55 of them.
Don't worry.
You'll still be paid
if you drive home empty.
Mm.
Long Range Desert Group!
Identify yourself.
Cooper.
We are L Detachment,
First Special Air Service Brigade.
What's left of us.
Maybe it's your attitude.
Maybe it's the way you walk.
But you are walking on a tightrope.
This is a big desert,
but there is no room in it
for realists or pragmatists
or believers in common sense.
Last night was the first uncertain
step on the long walk to glory.
There is no other narrative.
That's it, old boy, come on.
What happened?
We experienced some weather.
Ah, yes.
Are you in charge here?
The desert's in charge here.
Maybe you've learned that, sir.
What news of Tobruk?
We've been away from radio.
Come on. Get a nice bath,
drink a beer, or two, or three,
and then we'll talk about Tobruk.
Come on.
Another fuck-up?
Another fuck-up.
But anyway, we run the rickshaws
into town.
How many more can we expect?
Ah, well...
..the weather we experienced
was very bad, sir.
Yes.
Perhaps not many.
Right. And, er...
how long do you want to wait?
Oh, you know.
Forever.
Mm.
No. I don't like waiting around.
I have a poker game in Cairo
on Thursdays.
SHOUTS: We have some cattle
to round up.
Let's go, boys. Come on.
On your feet.
Come on!
MUSIC: Slow Ride
by Foghat
# Slow ride
# Take it easy
# Slow ride... #
# I've got a great big amount
saved up in my lover's house... #
HUMS TUNE
Big leap, boys!
# Take it easy
WHOOPS
# Slow ride
WHOOPING
# Take it easy
# I'm in the mood
# The rhymes is right
Woohoo!
# Move to the music
# We can roll all night... #
How the hell are you going to
find them in this vastness?
In the desert, everything
can be predicted.
You were dropped in the north quad,
number 12.
Then rain came.
Rising flood sends your boys
on to high ground.
The Platypus Ridge,
which runs south,
so they walk south
until the ridge splits.
Fuck off back there.
Ha-ha!
Come on!
Then they reach the oasis,
which even the Brits can see
on account of the vegetation.
Come on!
Then they follow
the dried-up riverbed south
until they arrive...
..right just about...
..now. Round about there.
Looks like I will make
my poker game.
# I'm in the mood
# The rhythm is right
# Move to the music... #
I only count eight of our men.
22 survivors out of...
..55.
Not a shot fired,
except a damn good soldier
firing into his own brain.
Not a plane destroyed, not
a fucking detonator detonated.
What will GHQ do?
About what?
Nothing happened.
Our mission was never authorised,
so no-one will know.
There are a few at GHQ that do know,
and they will laugh.
But...
..mostly they will be too busy
losing the war to care.
And we will be stood down
when we get back to Cairo.
Yes.
If we go back.
They say the boys
from the Long Range Desert Group
can find a pencil
in 1,000 square miles of desert
just so long as it casts a shadow.
They can find a downed pilot
in an area the size of England
in the middle of the night
in a sandstorm.
So?
So...I wonder...
..if they can find the SAS
a place of sanctuary.
HORN BEEPS
Hello!
WHOOPING
BAND PLAYS JAZZ MUSIC
What are you doing here?
GUNSHOT
I come here to relax.
I thought it was time for us
to update each other
on some recent events.
Your office was locked.
Recent events? General de Gaulle
needs to be kept informed
of British strategies
in North Africa.
French 75.
Tell me, what is the general's
main concern at the moment?
Fuck you.
Where are they?
Do you mean where are they?
Or where is he?
Do you want to have dinner?
No. Just tell me where they are.
No-one is saying anything.
For Cairo, that is unusual.
CLEARS THROAT
Well, truth is,
no-one knows where they are.
Any survivors should have
reported back two weeks ago.
We've had no communications
of any sort.
What happened to them?
Well, before you begin to imagine
some heroic combat,
it's almost certain
that if they are all dead,
they weren't killed by the Germans
or the Italians.
They were killed by the desert.
The wind, the sand, the thorns.
Oh, and by the reckless decision
taken by our friend
and his comrades
because they couldn't stand
to lose face.
They decided to take off
and make a parachute drop at night
in the middle of
a fucking sandstorm.
What is it about Stirling
that you dislike so much?
I invented the SAS.
And he had no right to destroy it
on its first mission.
And if it's not destroyed,
it's now a laughing stock
among the few people
who even know it exists.
In terms of percentage,
I'm afraid the chances of Stirling
being still alive
are just this side of zero.
I thought you knew the rules
of engagement in time of war.
Fucking is fine.
Feeling is not.
MUSIC PLAYING
Now, then.
This, my friends, is Jalo.
Literally, unquestionably,
undeniably the middle
of fucking nowhere.
If fucking nowhere had
a capital city, this would be it.
And this would be the main street
of fucking nowhere city.
And the Lord Mayor would be fucking
no-one, presiding over fuck all
in a place where there was no-one
around to give a fuck.
Which is exactly what you asked for,
Captain Stirling, am I right?
We could carry on driving,
but I'd say this place
is as good as any other part
of nowhere we might find.
How far to the German airfield?
Sirte is 350 miles north-west.
The Allied front line?
The first Allied position
you'd come to
is the New Zealand Reserve troop,
80 miles across open desert.
But the Kiwi fighting men
have been sent north,
so the camp is empty.
If you need any help,
there isn't any.
The New Zealand camp is empty,
you say?
A few wounded, a few guards.
And a few empty trucks,
one might imagine.
Maybe some guns they left behind.
Maybe some ammunition.
Will there be a piano?
A fucking piano?
The capital city of fucking nowhere
will do us just fine.
But first, we need to do
a spot of shopping.
Come on, you dishy bastard.
MUSIC: I Fought The Law
by The Clash
# Breakin' rocks in the hot sun
# I fought the law
and the law won... #
Thieving bastard? Never me.
# I fought the law and the law won
# I needed money cos I had none
# I fought the law
and the law won... #
If I'd known you were going
to rob the place,
I wouldn't have brought you, sir.
Call me David, not sir.
# ..and it feels so bad
# Guess my race is run
# She's the best girl
that I ever had
# I fought the law and the law won
# I fought the law and the
# I fought the law and the law won
# I fought the law and the law won
# I fought the law and the law won
HORNS BLARE
# I fought the law and the law won
# I fought the law and the law won
# I fought the law and the... #
THEY CHEER
Philips! Sentry duty.
On the tower, one hour.
And if you can, perhaps you might
bury the explosive canisters
to keep them out of the direct heat.
Where can I put the piano?
You play the piano, Paddy? No.
Eoin was trying to teach me.
I want to carry on.
Put it in the mess hall.
There isn't a mess hall.
So build one.
Seekings? Yes, boss.
Now, last night
was rather a success,
so we have something to celebrate.
What did you steal
by way of drinks?
45 gallons of New Zealand rum, sir.
Good boy. Right.
So by the time that we're unpacked,
it will be cocktail hour.
And then when we've had our
cocktails and the sun is set,
I think we should go for
a bit of jolly.
Ammunition will be signed in
by Lieutenant Fraser.
Unless he has a problem with that.
No, sir.
Refuel your vehicles, Mr Sadler.
We go tonight.
MUSIC: Wheels of Steel
by Saxon
Get the tents up.
Let's not be too creative!
Call me Mike.
Targets will be given on the coast.
Ten Lewes bombs to each man.
At the ready!
Have your ten-minute fuses
and your 30-minute fuses.
Do not use your bombs until you can
smell the Messerschmitts!
SAS mission number one!
Move out, you fucking virgins.
Come on, Bob.
# She's got mean wheels of steel
# She's got
# Wheels of steel
# Wheels of steel
# Talkin' about my wheels of steel
# Wheels of steel.. #
We are ten miles outside of
Sirte airstrip, directly north.
I'm going to pick three men,
take them there,
and do what damage I can.
Lewes, you will take your men
to Mersa Brega.
Your target is fuel trucks
and supply trucks.
Paddy, you will take your men
to Tamet Airstrip.
Your target is Italian Caproni
fighter bombers and Messerschmitts.
Bill Fraser, where are you?
I'm here. Come on.
I hear during the fuck-up
that you repeatedly asked questions
of your commanding officer.
Well, we have decided, in order
to avoid further fuck-ups,
that questions are to be welcomed
in the SAS.
You will pick four men
and travel to Agedabia.
If questions are welcome, sir,
I've got a question. Yes?
Can me the boys have some rum?
Oh, absolutely.
Please. Come on.
Right. We rendezvous back here
tomorrow morning.
You and your drivers wait here
for our return.
With all due respect, sir,
I'm fucking sick of being
the taxi service.
I can read this desert better
than any man here.
Well, if it's action
that you're after,
go with Paddy Mayne.
We have a second chance.
Let's see what the stars
have in store for us, shall we?
MEN CHEER
SHOUTS ORDERS
It's empty.
They've all flown.
Shit.
Prime fuses. Ten minutes.
Go.
Riley. Take one man,
go to the right.
Almonds, take three men,
flank round from the rear.
Back here in eight minutes.
Hit as many trucks as you can.
For God's sake, don't be seen.
Go.
Sadler. Huh?
This is a famous Lewes bomb.
Never heard of it.
That's because it's only famous
amongst us.
Jock Lewes invented it.
He cooked us up a prototype.
Tonight, we're going to
try them out.
You've never used them before?
No, but Jock Lewes is very smart.
I'm sure we'll be fine.
These are all being primed and ready
to go off in ten minutes, right?
From now?
From now.
So we should fucking
get on with it, Paddy.
Ten minutes is plenty of time, boys.
Plenty of time for what?
DISTANT LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
They're drunk, Paddy.
We could blow the bombs
and be gone before they know...
Low-hanging fruit, ripe apples.
Those drunks are pilots
and engineers when they sober up.
So to fuck with conventions,
Geneva or otherwise.
This is our fucking work, boys.
This is who we are,
to kill and be killed.
Any man too just and good and noble
for work like this can stay behind,
polish their bullets,
make a nice wee necklace.
Myself, I am tranquil.
I never go to parties
to which I am invited anyway.
WHISPERS: Go.
Go, go, go.
CHATTER
RAUCOUS CONVERSATION, RECORD PLAYS
Would you like a light?
Here you are.
No. English, actually.
LAUGHS
Inglese!
Si.
English.
Hello!
CHOKES
KNIFE SCRAPES
HORN BLARES
SHOUTS IN GERMAN
Fuck.
Good evening.
RECORD PLAYING
GUNFIRE
ROCK MUSIC
Take cover!
SHOUTING
Three minutes, the bombs go off!
Including this truck!
Not ideal.
WHIMPERING
They've had enough now, Paddy.
Paddy!
Paddy!
GUNFIRE
Two minutes to blow the planes,
boys. Move!
Fucking move!
Jack?
In one minute, this truck's about to
get a bit hot!
Not helpful.
Come on! Move!
SHOUTING
Where's Paddy?
Where on earth is he?
WHISTLES
Paddy!
Paddy!
Go!
SCREAMING
The bombs!
SHOUTING
Move!
Go! Go!
Paddy!
THEY WHOOP
Get back to those Jeeps.
Paddy, hurry up!
Paddy!
MUSIC: New Rose
by The Damned
LAUGHS
# I've got a feeling inside me
EXPLOSIONS DROWN MUSIC
# I guess these things
have got to be
# I've got a new rose
I've got it good
# Guess I knew that I always would
# I can't stop to mess around
WHOOPS
# I got a brand-new rose in town
# See the sun
See the sun, it shines
# I guess these things
have got to be
# I got a new rose
I got it good... #
DISTANT EXPLOSIONS
Boys.
THEY LAUGH
That's Mersa Brega and Agedabia
blown to hell, sir.
Yes!
DISTANT EXPLOSIONS
And that's Paddy Mayne at Tamet.
LAUGHS
And here am I in the dark
and silence in Sirte.
It's not a competition, sir.
Of course it fucking is.
Come on.
MORSE CODE
Sir. Report from intelligence.
MORSE CODE CONTINUES
Ah, my dear.
At last, I have something to report
that's actually true.
Actually fucking true.
Intercepted radio communications
between the German
and Italian Air Force commands
says that the night before last,
48 fighter bombers
and fighter aircraft were destroyed
while on the ground
at two separate air bases -
destroyed by men who appeared
apparently from nowhere
and disappeared into the desert.
Also, 17 fuel tankers,
supply trucks, ammunition crates
and explosives were destroyed
at Mersa Brega.
Apparently, those few who caught
a glimpse of the attackers
said they wore no uniforms
and looked like wild savages.
So he's alive.
The important thing
is that my creation is alive.
I think the mystery of what happened
to L Detachment First SAS Brigade
may have been solved, sir.
Well, I think that boy
might just have won his bet.
PIANO PLAYS SIMPLE TUNE
TAILS OFF
RESTARTS
Oh, I see.
I see.
MUSIC: Smash It Up
by The Damned
Let the games begin.
# We've been crying now
for much too long
# And now we're gonna dance
to a different song
# I'm gonna scream and shout
till my dying breath
# I'm gonna smash it up
till there's nothing left
# Ooh, smash it up!
# Smash it up, smash it up!
# Ooh, smash it up!
# Smash it up, smash it up!
# People call me villain
Oh, it's such a shame
# Maybe its my clothes
must be to blame
# I don't even care if I look a mess
# Don't want to be a sucker
like all the rest
# Ooh, smash it up
# Smash it up, smash it up! #