Run the Burbs (2022–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - In Phocus - full transcript

So, the bear's looking at us,

And we're looking at the
bear like, "what do we do?"

Yeah, and that's when we
decided to just let the bear

Keep the cooler.

Other than that, the
rv trip was great.

And jojo's cottage was amazing.

I caught a fish
with my bare hands!

It was dead, but still.

Karate!

Oh, sorry, were you
saying something?

You were muted.



Come on! That's like three
weeks' worth of stories!

I'm kidding.

Oh, too far from
the wi-fi. Hold on.

Okay.

So, what are the kids
getting these days?

Spaceship popsicles.

I'll have the rum raisin.

Okay, old man.

And, um, what flavours of
soft serve do you have?

Vanilla, chocolate,
strawberry, or coconut,

Or we could do a swirl.

Okay, I will do a
strawberry coconut swirl.

Actually, never mind.

Um, I'll do a swirl, for sure,



But I will do the coconut...

Just pick something.

Excuse me?

There's no butter
chicken ice cream, okay?

So, just, you know,
pick a normal flavour

Or go back to your country.

Chocolate coconut swirl, please.

It's on the house!

Hello? Dad? What
are you looking at?

The sexiest woman in the world.

Ew.

♪ Got the face on
like "oh, yeah" ♪

♪ in the mirror looking
like "oh, yeah" ♪

Woo! Camille!

Do I look like rockridge's

New community development
coordinator, or what?

You are gonna smash
this interview.

Kill it, murder it!

You're gonna do
great. You ready?

Babe, I've got plans
on plans on plans!

Wow, the tabs have tabs.
I love the confidence.

Right?

'cause, you know, it's not like
our whole financial security

Rests on me getting this job.

Okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

No one else has that andrew
pham je ne sais quoi.

True, true.

Plus, cam pham eats
launches in one week.

You ready for the focus group?

Well, let's see.

Wha-bam! I got plans on
plans on plans on plans!

Oh, damn!

I think my logo says,
like, tasty, professional,

Hire me, tell all your friends,

But not in a thirsty way.

Now, will you finally tell
me how much you love it?

Not yet, but...

I did prepare some notes
so you know I wasn't

Influenced by the experts.

Oh, okay.

No peeking there.

Or in here.

Let's get it. Woo!

♪ Yeah, uh ♪

♪ yeah, we hustle
all day (all day) ♪

♪ yeah, we're workin' yeah,
we're workin' every day ♪

Go for leo. Oh.

Hey! Get out of my room!

Make me. Oh right, you can't.

You're in paris.

What was...

Oh, that's moby
on the other line.

He's got a hot nft tip.

Wait, nft? Look, I called
because I kind of...

Gotta go!

Neighbourhood fun team unite!

Nft, baby!

Jojo found a dead
skunk by the creek.

We're gonna poke it with
sticks later. You in?

It's dead?

Yeah, yeah. Cool, cool, cool.

Cool, see you there.

Okay, robin is the chief
administrative officer,

And she chooses
who replaces bob.

People call her tolstoy
because she's hard to read.

Got it. Make robin
fall in love with me.

Professionally.

Bob, who's the retiring

Community development
coordinator,

He will also be there.
He's checked out,

But his approval's good to have.

Got it. Make bob
fall in love with me.

Professionally.

- Hey, barb?
- Yeah?

Super clutch of
you to set this up.

I have my reasons.

Andrew, it's a pleasure.

We've heard nothing
but good things.

I've heard good and bad things.

Well, hopefully,
good meaning good,

And bad also meaning good.

Ring-ring... ugh. No,
I'm not doing this.

Sorry, it's my daughter.
She's in paris,

Probably calling about a
cool croissant she ate.

So, what makes you the best
candidate for the job, andrew?

Right to it. I like that.

I've been a stay at home dad
in rockridge for over a decade.

I know this community
inside and out.

In fact, I've prepared a
little tour to show you

The rockridge I know and love,

Along with a few ideas
on how we can improve it.

If you've got time.

We don't.

Come on, robin.

He planned a tour.

In my books, that makes
him frontrunner material.

Let's stretch the old gams.

Fine.

I need to change my shoes.

Okay, check this
out. Tiny libraries.

Everyone loves 'em,

But the problem
with these things is

Homemade erotica.

"the ocean's motion,
a titillating journey

Through the seven seas."

I'm all for gettin'
sexy with your words,

But kids have access
to these things!

So, I propose that we add
a teensy weensy library

At the very back that
only adults can access.

Just like a video store.

That's what I'm talking about.

Next, rockridge slides.

Correction, scorching
hot sheets of metal.

Walk it off, alex.

A bunch of our parks have
these outdated metal slides.

If I get the job,
I'm gonna swap out

These prehistoric butt
burners for plastic ones.

Chicken anyone?

Andrew, I am impressed.

Listen, stop by my office
before you head home.

♪ So you like it, how I do? ♪

Frontrunner.

♪ Merci beaucoup ♪

♪ it ain't no thing, babe ♪

♪ I'm in my lane, babe ♪

Thank you all for
joining us today.

Dig in and we will get started.

Brace yourselves, for
you are the cho...

Holy crap this is good.

Thank you, cathy!

If your business fails, you can
come cook for me at bubble bae.

Thank you, cathy.

Each of you has a
perspective that will help us

To prepare to launch this
business into the world!

Yes, just know that today you
have not invited your father,

But rather an esteemed
professor of business.

You would be wise to
keep your ears open,

And perhaps learn
a thing or two.

I run a small business, man.

And you know what they say
about those who can't do.

Small man, small business.

Rude!

Oh! Hey, sweetie.

You want to join?

We need a little
youth demographic.

Nah. Kind of a big day.

Gonna poke the skunk.

Don't know if I'm ready.

Oh, well, uh... Don't
ever feel peer pressured

To do any, um, poking,

Because exploration...

Should be done on my own terms.

Yes.

Y'all know what "poke
the skunk" means, right?

Obviously! It means...

No results.

Hey, who is ready
to see the logo?

- Absolutely.
- Okay!

Wha-bam!

Looks great.

Okay, okay! Don't hold back.

Tell me what you think.

Why would somebody hire
you to cook in their home

When there are restaurants?

Oh, no. No, no. I
meant about the logo.

What?

Okay, spit it out.

Camp ham.

What?

Camp ham.

It looks like it
says "camp ham."

Yes, okay.

I did not notice that
before registering my name.

Heyo!

Hey, welcome to the bob cave.

So, I couldn't get a
read on robin earlier.

Do you think she...

Oh, she loved you.

Yeah? Good.

Is that your family?

Yeah, that's vance and the
twins, tina and turner.

Hey, I want you to know

I'll pick up right
where you left off.

I'll make you proud.

Listen, andrew, I like you.

I mean, who fights off
a raccoon with a rake

In the middle of an interview.

He had it coming.

It was the greatest.

So, I guess I'll just
come right out and say it.

Yeah?

You're not getting the job.

What's that now?

Wait, so, you're not retiring?

Nah. All your projects
and your ambition,

It's left me wanting to do
something more, you know?

Leave a legacy.

What about your family?

Don't you want to spend
more time with vance

And little tina and turner?

Oh, my god, no.

The twins are in their twenties
now and they are the worst.

They keep trying to
get me into crypto

And vance is making me watch
every drag race franchise,

Starting with France.
Families. Ugh, am I right?

Well, don't leave me hanging.

Barb? Barb.

What's up?

It's bob. He's not retiring.

I was afraid of this.

Okay, meet me in the
boardroom in 10 minutes.

I have to go get a tuna
sandwich before they sell out.

This office loves their tuna.

We can fix this.

You want a tuna? Alright.

Now, are these the
colours you'll be using?

Have we considered
something more regal?

Uh, that's a good note.

Perhaps a vibe that...

- Babe, it's your phone.
- Is more herbaceous.

- You know, with the logo...
- Babe, pick up your phone.

- Just throw an eggplant in.
- Given what I eat here,

- And given when I see there.
- So glad that you called.

I just need to hear your voice.

I didn't get the job.

What? Barb said it
was a sure thing.

- What happened?
- I don't know.

The guy's not retiring.

Okay, wow. Okay.

Barb thinks we can
fix it after tuna.

So, I'll stay?

Of course. Go get that job.

- Love you.
- Love you.

A flair! Or a vibe.

Oh, also, the font should
feel more delicious.

Have you considered comic sans?

See, the love that cathy
has for your pakoras,

That's the love you should
have for this product.

In the 15 years that
I have had this job,

Bob has wormed his
way out of every

Responsibility he has ever had.

And now he is worming his way

Out of retirement.

It finally happened,
I'm too inspirational.

No. That's not it.

I think this retirement has
been a sham from the beginning.

So, what can we do about it?

Well, if bob were to, say,
accept an "incentive."

Damn, barb. Blackmail?!

He is a loop-hole
finding rule-breaker

Who neglects his
job and doesn't care

About the community.

He's your opposite.

The anti-andrew.

Exactly.

The prophecy has been foretold.

Now, lift your shirt.

You know every phone has
a voice recorder, right?

Since when?

Since ever.

No bribes! I inspired him.

I just have to un-inspire him.

Since ever? Hm.

My name is barb

And I'm a bylaw
enforcement officer.

These are my stories.

My name is barb

And I'm a bylaw
enforcement officer.

Well that wasn't so bad.

They hated it.

Totally normal for
any focus group.

You know, we do this sort of
thing so we can catch stuff

Like camp ham.

Camp ham is the
least of our worries.

Hey, we got this, okay?

But we only get one shot
at a company launch.

So, I say we push
back a few weeks,

We get our heads on
straight, 'cause we got this.

A few weeks? Sam, I...

I will see you Monday,
first thing. Okay?

Or around 10:00.

Probably closer to 10:30,
if I'm being honest.

But I'll be here.

Bob-o, buddy, just want
to thank you for saving me

From 30 years of hell.

How so?

This place.

It's like a rockridge azkaban.

Sucking everyone's souls.

What is this about?

Just telling it
like it is, my man.

This place is a dream tomb.

Okay, I get it.

You want this job, so you're
trying to un-inspire me.

Why would I retire when I can
sit here for another ten years

Doing nothing and getting paid?

This place isn't a dream
tomb, it's a dream...

Womb.

Bob.

Dad to dad, father to father.

I need this.

My wife just quit her job
to start a new company,

And this job is my best
shot at helping my family.

Poor planning on your
part does not necessitate

An emergency on mine.

You don't even
know. My day sucked.

I was gonna poke the skunk,
but I couldn't do it.

Huh?

Uh, so, you know, if you
ever want to talk about

Anything with your body...

Ew!

Uh, khia, how are you?

Sorry I missed your call.

Fine.

You know, you didn't have to
stay up just to call me back.

You know what? Tomorrow
I'm just gonna do it.

Everyone else is doing
it, so why can't I?

Okay. Okay, okay. Ow. Ow!

So, what're your big
plans for the day?

Uh, pastries, museums,
coffee. Same old.

Hm.

It's been different
with mannix and her mom.

And paris is...

Chicken slide!

You're tired. I'll
let you guys go.

Okay. Love you.

- Love you.
- Love you.

Let's get some sleep.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Yeah.

You know, I was thinking that

Maybe it's time we
sell the sports car.

Oh.

But you know what?

When have the phams
ever given up?

Tomorrow leo is
gonna poke the skunk

And I'm, well, I'm
gonna go handle bob.

Professionally.

Maybe I'll just work
on my logo a bit.

You're gonna smash it,
kill it, murder it.

Goodnight.

- Is leo masturbating?
- Yes.

- Should I...
- No.

How did you find
out where I live?

Our tiny library has
an old phone book.

Look, andrew. Why
don't you get it?

You lost. Go home.

Bob, you were real with
me, I'll be real with you.

You're holding rockridge back.

My plan gets more done in a
year than you've accomplished

In your entire career.

Don't you want that?

Hm. Nope. I wanna
do diddly squat

And get bonuses for being
"fiscally responsible."

Bobby, when your friend leaves,

Can you give me a
hand with the dishes?

Saturdays are for my plants!

Oops. Thought it was Sunday.

Robin is clueless,
barb is a loser,

And you are not worth my time.

Barb? You get all that?

Robin and I heard it all,

And we'll be right there.

You snitch!

Hey. Thanks for the leftovers.

I ate 'em on the drive home.

Hey, cathy.

What do you think about this?

Looks terrible.

I know!

I don't know what to
do about this thing!

Kay. Yeah, I'm not great with...

Emotions, but I
feel like this isn't

Really about the logo.

It's about everything.

My whole business.

If I don't get it
off the ground soon,

I'm going to have to
go back to corporate,

And I will lose it if I ever
have to say the word "synergy"

Or "circle back..."

Okay. Gotcha. Question.

Why did you change the logo?

Because everyone hated it.

I said it was great,
and you like it,

So why are you listening
to a bunch of people

Who don't understand
your business?

Because I... Have never
done this before, okay?

I like cooking, but I
don't understand logos

And social campaigns.

And I hate hiring
staff, managing stock,

And most of my customers.

Running a business is hard,

But bubble bae is
mine, and I get to do

What I want with it.

Right.

Okay, tell me this.

How'd your food
go over yesterday?

Oh, uh...

Great. I changed how much masala
that I put in the chicken and...

I don't care. I was
just making a point.

Your business is
making food for people

And everyone always
loves your food.

You're gonna be fine.

And if you crash and burn,
the offer to come cook for me

At bubble bae still stands.

Thank you, cathy.

I am very disappointed.

In you two!

Why would you say it like that?

You told me this was
a rockridge emergency.

Wh... well, it is an emergency.

Bob isn't retiring!

Not surprising.

And he called you clueless!

I'm not clueless.

I see and hear all.

What bob calls me at home
is none of my business.

You should hear what I call him.

This is my dream job.

You have the right temperament,
but you lack experience.

Have you considered one of
our entry level positions?

I hire the entry
level positions!

And would you...

I would not.

See you Monday?

Yeah...

Robert.

♪ I got my lights up,
anyone who takes us on ♪

♪ I gotta keep on... ♪

Oh.

How did it go?

Not good.

Thanks for fighting
for us, babe.

What is that smell?

- Oh.
- Oh, is that...

- Oh, oh.
- Oh.

- Okay. Hey, buddy.
- I did it.

I poked that skunk
down by the creek!

Oh, my gosh, you were
talking about a real skunk!

Yeah, what did
you think I meant?

Uh, you know what?

Go take a shower.

Better open a window.

Babe, I crunched the numbers

And we only have, like,
six months of savings left.

It's fine. I'm gonna
launch this week.

Aw.

I almost forgot!

I am so inspired by you.

Every single day you
go after your dream

And you're crushing it.

You're pretty inspiring
yourself, you know that?

Naw, I let you down.

No, no. You are amazing.

Okay? And the right
job is out there.

It's just a matter of time.

Yeah?

You know, there is one job I
have relevant experience in.

Oh, maybe we should
poke the skunk?

Oh...

Ring-ring. Ugh,
no. Not doing this.

Ring-ring. Ugh,
no. Not doing this.

Khia, what's up?

It's like the middle
of the night there.

Yeah. So, I know that
it's expensive to change,

But can I come home early?

Yeah.

Of course.

What's going on?

Nothing, I just...

Why is your shirt off?

Were you...

What? No.

Why would you answer the phone?!

Mm!