Rules of Engagement (2007–2013): Season 5, Episode 5 - Play Ball - full transcript
When Audrey realizes how miserable her job is making her, she contemplates quitting. Meanwhile, Allison tells Timmy she wants to slow things down.
[♪♪♪]
-Hey.
-Hey, where's Audrey?
Oh, big surprise,
she's stuck on another work call.
Lately all she does is work.
She even missed our girl's night
last night.
We still had fun.
Did you?
Did you enjoy your Daiquiri?
The first one.
I don't remember the second one.
[SIGHS]
Anyways, Aud's being
totally slammed at work...
...which means twice
as many work stories.
So let me know if you're having
any trouble sleeping those things
are a magic bullet.
Oh, great.
Mm. What? The hat store
run out of extra-large square?
It's clever. How long you been working
on that one?
-I just thought of it.
-Two days ago.
-Ha, ha.
-I just got a text from Brenda.
-Who's that?
-She's this lesbian.
Ah. You have my interest.
Who plays on my softball team.
Oh, you've lost my interest.
She's hurt. And if you don't have at
least one female your team forfeits.
Jen, you're a girl, right?
Well, if she's not, she did some
pretty gay stuff to me last night.
-So, come on, can you play tomorrow?
-Oh, I'd love to, but I have a meeting.
-You do?
-Yes.
But I thought we were hanging
out tomorrow afternoon.
No, I have a meeting.
No, no, no, no, you said
you had nothing going on.
To quote you, "I literally have
nothing to do tomorrow afternoon.
Boy, would I love to go outside."
Okay, I just don't wanna play softball.
Rude.
Oh, my God, this is so frustrating.
We can't use any of the couch shots
from the Hamptons' shoot.
They're terrible. Now we have to go
out and find a new photographer.
Don't fret. You know I happen to be
a bit of a shutterbug myself.
This would be easy for you.
You won't have to get the couch drunk
and trick it into taking its top off.
Hey, you know what would be a really
fun break for you from all this work?
Come on out to Central Park
and play some softball tomorrow.
What, the team lesbian
have another gay wedding to go to?
No, Mrs. Stereotyper.
She, uh, dislocated a shoulder
playing field hockey.
So come on,
you need to get out of the office.
I, uh.... I don't think I can.
Well, listen, it's like
they say on their deathbed...
...uh, nobody ever wishes that they spent
less time playing softball.
AUDREY:
Uh, I don't know, I....
Look at you.
Seriously, you've got bags
under your eyes, your skin's pale...
...you're all slouched over.
You look like a corpse.
-It's probably just the lighting in here.
-I don't think so, Jen looks fantastic.
It's Central Park, it's a sunny day,
it'll be good for you.
-Fine, yes, I'll play.
-Come on, you look like a mole person.
I said I would play.
[♪♪♪]
Wait, what are we doing?
If you're having to ask
I must not be doing it very well.
[SIGHS]
No, I meant us having sex,
so much, so soon after we met.
I'm not hearing a problem here.
Look, Timmy, I really like you.
And I you.
Here, let me show you how much.
No. That's the thing.
I think we should stop having sex,
and instead, focus on the
non-physical part of our relationship.
Hmm. Not what now?
We have to get to know each other...
...if we wanna give our relationship
a stronger foundation.
Says you.
I don't even know about your interests,
your family, your friends.
Cricket, only child,
Nate and Ramesh.
Okay, so, uh, do you want to tell me
yours now or after we nude up?
No, heh, I think we should hold off
until we create a real emotional...
...and intellectual connection.
That sounds like a dynamite idea,
really...
...but perhaps we could implement
that plan...
...say, 20 minutes from now after we've
successfully formed a human camel.
We have to be strong if we want to give
this the best chance it can have.
Without distractions.
Yes, you're quite right.
[TIMMY CHUCKLES]
The logical part of me agrees.
-I'm so glad.
-Oh, heh.
-Timmy?
-Hmm?
It feels like another part of you
might disagree.
Yes, well, uh, rest assured,
as soon as I get home...
...I'm going to give it what for.
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S
"HOW MANY WAYS" PLAYING]
♪ How many ways
To say I love you ♪
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared ♪
♪ With you by my side
There is no denying ♪
♪ I can't wait for me and you ♪♪
[♪♪♪]
Oh, no, you guys still here?
Yeah, the handy man set off
a bug bomb in our apartment.
-Oh, you got bugs?
-No, he just doesn't like me.
Anyway, what's going on?
Well, in Timmy's case,
a whole lot of nada.
[CHUCKLES]
I see, so now we're sharing intimate
information I told you in confidence.
[CHUCKLES]
We're about to.
So Timmy here's been getting down
with that little mousy girl at work...
-...right in her office.
-Ah, Timmy, I knew you had it in you.
So did she.
The funny part is...
...heh, now that she got him hooked,
she cut him off, no more sex.
Yes, that's the funny part.
Wow. So she had sex with you
and then no more.
Mm. I heard that happens to guys
who don't look like me.
I could show you what it's like.
If I were this guy maybe you could.
But come on.
Jen, it's kind of common knowledge
that you're always good to go.
Ouch.
Insulted by someone
who looks like they're in the middle
of gender reassignment.
But the question is,
which way is he going?
Look, Allison believes
that sex is not the way to begin...
...a meaningful relationship.
And I concur.
Yeah, good luck running
that three-legged race by yourself.
Of course that's how you feel.
Why spend time getting to know
a woman...
...when it merely increases her chances
of picking you out of a lineup?
It's different for different couples.
I mean, Jen and I had sex
the first night we met.
I don't even think she knew my name.
-But now, we're totally getting married.
-Adam.
Oh, well, yeah, of course
you know my name now.
That's not what I was talking about.
Oh. Oh, right. Oh, my God,
the cat's out of the bag.
Okay, Timmy, there's a good chance
you're not coming to our wedding.
-Ah. It's really small and--
-Wrong again, Adam.
Oh, hey, good news, buddy,
you're back in.
No, he's not back in.
It's a good thing I'm not
a human being or some of this
could really sting.
[♪♪♪]
So he gave me the medicine
and I got better right away.
Ah.
So you're allergic to ragweed.
-How about that?
-See?
We're getting to know each other.
And that will only enhance
the experience when we go back to....
-You know.
-Yes, I remember.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
-Pardon me.
-It's all right.
[CHUCKLES]
[BLOWS AIR]
So, uh, any other allergies,
or is it just the ragweed then?
-Cat dander, pollen.
-Uh-huh. Oh.
-That's it.
-All right, then.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
-Isn't this where you get off?
-I'm very close.
Uh, yeah, bye, bye-bye.
[BLOWS AIR]
All right. Daddy's lunch is here.
Bring it in.
[GROANS]
You can keep the....
Ow.
[♪♪♪]
I'm not sure
lavender is the right color.
Audrey, get the ball!
Thattagirl.
What? Oh, no, no.
No, no, I told her that's not right.
JEFF:
Audrey, throw the ball!
No, it has to be lilac.
And that is final, I'm not--
Hold on, I'm getting another call.
-Hello?
-Hey, Audrey, it's Jeff from softball.
Yeah, uh, I'm sorry to catch you
at a bad time...
...uh, some of the fellas were, uh, hoping
we could get the ball back.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
[SIGHS]
Um, Timmy?
Timmy, if you have to do that at work,
take it to the men's room.
Sir, I'm only trying to get
the last of the white out.
Yeah, I know, I've been there.
Take it in the men's room, fella.
Sir, this white out.
Oh.
Well, still, ever since Allison cut you off,
you've been a little bit edgy.
Really? Do you think so?
Because I feel pretty
damned relaxed.
I'm just concerned, that's all.
Well, don't be, because it's none
of your business.
It became my business when
you threw a sandwich in there...
...and cracked my sternum.
Well, I'm sorry,
but, yes, I'm a bit pent up.
Well, don't you worry. Uncle Russell's
gonna help you release the pressure.
Look, I don't care how soft and
lady-like your hands are,
the answer's no.
No, no, no, I didn't mean that.
No, I'm just saying,
I've got a phone full of numbers here...
...of professional ladies,
classified by what they're willing to do.
Sir, let me make this clear,
I only want Allison.
And I don't patronize call girls.
I don't patronize them either,
I treat them with respect.
And then sometimes
they let you do extra stuff.
Gratis.
[♪♪♪]
Tuna sandwich, please.
Hmm.
Do you guys have popsicles?
No.
Okay, do you have comment cards?
Okay, so I've decided we need a new,
better story of how we met.
What? Are you kidding?
Our story's great.
Bar, drunk, did it in the cab,
did it in the park.
It's got something for everybody.
Not for me.
I mean, I come off looking pretty slutty.
But I love that you're slutty.
-I know, and we'll always have that.
-Aw.
But I've made up a new story,
and I would like us to tell people
that one from now on.
Okay, will it change
what really happened?
No.
Okay, what have you got?
Okay, so one afternoon,
you saw me disappear into a cab...
...and you were so enchanted by
my beauty...
...that you knocked a bike messenger
off his bike and rode after me
for 20 blocks.
What happened
to the bike messenger?
What does it matter?
Honey,
people are gonna worry about him.
Fine. You gave the bike messenger
a hundred dollars for his bike.
Ooh, how about you offered him
a hundred dollars...
...but he wouldn't
take it since it was for love?
No, honey, it makes him
sound like a better guy than me.
I mean, in that version, it seems
like you should end up with him.
Oh.
What if I'm the bike messenger?
[♪♪♪]
JEFF:
Here we go.
Yeah, nice rip! Nice rip!
Audrey, you're up.
No, that worked as a feature
but not as a cover.
-Hey.
-What?
[LINE DISCONNECTS]
What is wrong with you?
You've been on this phone
the whole game.
I'm sorry, but my job is a little more
important than your softball game.
First of all,
this game has playoff implications.
Secondly, it's not about the game.
Your job is making you miserable.
-It's not that bad.
-Well, it's making me miserable.
When you're not working,
you're complaining about work.
Look around.
It is a gorgeous day,
but you don't see any of it.
I wish you could just relax
and have fun like the rest of us.
-Let's get a batter up there, Bingham.
-You shut up! You shut up right now!
Okay, come on, come on,
get out there and have some fun.
-I know you can.
-Yes, okay, I will.
I'm gonna have fun. Okay.
JEFF:
Eye on the ball. Eye on the ball.
-I hit it! I hit it!
-All right, way to go, hon!
Why don't you run? That's all right.
My God, she sucks.
[♪♪♪]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Uh, Mr. Dunbar?
You wanted to see me?
Uh, yes, Allison, um....
Wanted to talk to you about Timmy.
Oh, does the company frown
upon inter-office relationships?
Oh, no, no, not at all.
Except for some of mine, heh.
But that's a big he said,
the rest of them said, situation.
No, uh, the company frowns upon
"kind of" relationships.
-Pardon me?
-You know, we're "kind of" together...
...but we're not together.
[SQUEAKING]
Are you implying
what I think you're implying?
I'm not really implying anything.
I mean...
...what kind of professional
would I be...
...if I were to tell you to let Tim
ring the old bell once in a while?
So you're telling me
I should sleep with Timmy?
No.
That would be against the law.
Oh, my God, I can't believe you.
[IMITATES ALLISON]
"Oh, my God, I can't believe you."
Allison, what's going on?
Mr. Dunbar just told me
to sleep with you.
Oh, my, how terrible.
-What was your answer?
-No!
I see. I can explain...
...see, um, because, uh, you and I
are not currently being intimate...
...Mr. Dunbar feels I've been
taking out my frustrations on him.
-Are you frustrated?
-No.
No, no, no.
And now that we've gotten to know
each other I was ready to resume
our sexual activities.
-But...?
-We'll see.
Anyway, now I say we keep waiting.
-Uh-oh, why do you now say that?
-Well, we wouldn't want your boss...
-...thinking he had an effect, would we?
-He is the boss now, isn't he, so....
Still, we shouldn't give him
that satisfaction.
For God's sake,
what about my satisfaction?
Is what he'll say
after hearing of our excellent plan.
[♪♪♪]
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
[♪♪♪]
JEFF:
Audrey!
Audrey!
Audrey,
get your head out of your ass!
Jeff? Jeff, I need to talk to you.
What are you doing?
Get back out there.
I've made a decision. I'm quitting.
Just because I told you
to get your head out of your ass?
No, not the team. I'm quitting my job.
-What? Why?
-You were right.
It's making me miserable.
Everybody's job makes them miserable.
Why they gotta pay you to do it.
[CHUCKLES]
There's gotta be something else
I can do with my life.
Well, it's not professional softball,
I'll tell you that.
For the first time in years
I feel light and alive.
BOB: Hey, what's going on here?
-It's not game related.
-Bob, I'm quitting my job.
-Oh, good for you, Audrey.
You've looked exhausted
the last several times I've seen you.
-Is it that obvious?
-Call them as I see them.
-What's the hold up?
-It's nothing.
-Can we just get back to the game?
BOB: Audrey's quitting her job.
Really? You know,
I recently quit my job...
...and started making customized
bird houses.
Jeff and I are working on
starting a family.
-No kidding?
-My wife went back to work full-time
after the twins were born.
She had a really hard time
finding balance.
I can't find balance now.
Then, uh, I gotta respect your decision.
Thank you.
That means a lot, Johnny Mo.
I really hope it works out.
[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
[♪♪♪]
And there, standing outside
my apartment in the rain, was Adam.
And I walked up to her and I said,
"Hey, let me buy you a cup of coffee...
...for the rest of your life.
What a nice story.
Really made the most of that break.
-Hey.
-There she is.
Hey, the future unemployed lady.
[CHUCKLES]
Too bad we can't celebrate
with a round of popsicles.
So how do you feel?
Are you excited?
I am. I feel like
I'm starting a whole new chapter.
And how do you feel?
Tsk.
Initially I was terrified
of losing the second income...
...and Audrey having so much time
to buy stuff we don't need.
-And now?
-That's all.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Oh, Timmy, is the mail here yet?
What do you think this is?
What do you think?
She's still holding out on you, huh?
So are you ever gonna tell
Mr. Dunbar we're doing it again?
RUSSELL: Hey, Timmy, would you mind
please getting me a cup of coffee?
No, I quite like the way things are.
Get it yourself, you spray-tanned dwarf.
I'm off to lunch.
Shall we?
[♪♪♪]
-Hey.
-Hey, where's Audrey?
Oh, big surprise,
she's stuck on another work call.
Lately all she does is work.
She even missed our girl's night
last night.
We still had fun.
Did you?
Did you enjoy your Daiquiri?
The first one.
I don't remember the second one.
[SIGHS]
Anyways, Aud's being
totally slammed at work...
...which means twice
as many work stories.
So let me know if you're having
any trouble sleeping those things
are a magic bullet.
Oh, great.
Mm. What? The hat store
run out of extra-large square?
It's clever. How long you been working
on that one?
-I just thought of it.
-Two days ago.
-Ha, ha.
-I just got a text from Brenda.
-Who's that?
-She's this lesbian.
Ah. You have my interest.
Who plays on my softball team.
Oh, you've lost my interest.
She's hurt. And if you don't have at
least one female your team forfeits.
Jen, you're a girl, right?
Well, if she's not, she did some
pretty gay stuff to me last night.
-So, come on, can you play tomorrow?
-Oh, I'd love to, but I have a meeting.
-You do?
-Yes.
But I thought we were hanging
out tomorrow afternoon.
No, I have a meeting.
No, no, no, no, you said
you had nothing going on.
To quote you, "I literally have
nothing to do tomorrow afternoon.
Boy, would I love to go outside."
Okay, I just don't wanna play softball.
Rude.
Oh, my God, this is so frustrating.
We can't use any of the couch shots
from the Hamptons' shoot.
They're terrible. Now we have to go
out and find a new photographer.
Don't fret. You know I happen to be
a bit of a shutterbug myself.
This would be easy for you.
You won't have to get the couch drunk
and trick it into taking its top off.
Hey, you know what would be a really
fun break for you from all this work?
Come on out to Central Park
and play some softball tomorrow.
What, the team lesbian
have another gay wedding to go to?
No, Mrs. Stereotyper.
She, uh, dislocated a shoulder
playing field hockey.
So come on,
you need to get out of the office.
I, uh.... I don't think I can.
Well, listen, it's like
they say on their deathbed...
...uh, nobody ever wishes that they spent
less time playing softball.
AUDREY:
Uh, I don't know, I....
Look at you.
Seriously, you've got bags
under your eyes, your skin's pale...
...you're all slouched over.
You look like a corpse.
-It's probably just the lighting in here.
-I don't think so, Jen looks fantastic.
It's Central Park, it's a sunny day,
it'll be good for you.
-Fine, yes, I'll play.
-Come on, you look like a mole person.
I said I would play.
[♪♪♪]
Wait, what are we doing?
If you're having to ask
I must not be doing it very well.
[SIGHS]
No, I meant us having sex,
so much, so soon after we met.
I'm not hearing a problem here.
Look, Timmy, I really like you.
And I you.
Here, let me show you how much.
No. That's the thing.
I think we should stop having sex,
and instead, focus on the
non-physical part of our relationship.
Hmm. Not what now?
We have to get to know each other...
...if we wanna give our relationship
a stronger foundation.
Says you.
I don't even know about your interests,
your family, your friends.
Cricket, only child,
Nate and Ramesh.
Okay, so, uh, do you want to tell me
yours now or after we nude up?
No, heh, I think we should hold off
until we create a real emotional...
...and intellectual connection.
That sounds like a dynamite idea,
really...
...but perhaps we could implement
that plan...
...say, 20 minutes from now after we've
successfully formed a human camel.
We have to be strong if we want to give
this the best chance it can have.
Without distractions.
Yes, you're quite right.
[TIMMY CHUCKLES]
The logical part of me agrees.
-I'm so glad.
-Oh, heh.
-Timmy?
-Hmm?
It feels like another part of you
might disagree.
Yes, well, uh, rest assured,
as soon as I get home...
...I'm going to give it what for.
[SEÑOR HAPPY'S
"HOW MANY WAYS" PLAYING]
♪ How many ways
To say I love you ♪
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared ♪
♪ With you by my side
There is no denying ♪
♪ I can't wait for me and you ♪♪
[♪♪♪]
Oh, no, you guys still here?
Yeah, the handy man set off
a bug bomb in our apartment.
-Oh, you got bugs?
-No, he just doesn't like me.
Anyway, what's going on?
Well, in Timmy's case,
a whole lot of nada.
[CHUCKLES]
I see, so now we're sharing intimate
information I told you in confidence.
[CHUCKLES]
We're about to.
So Timmy here's been getting down
with that little mousy girl at work...
-...right in her office.
-Ah, Timmy, I knew you had it in you.
So did she.
The funny part is...
...heh, now that she got him hooked,
she cut him off, no more sex.
Yes, that's the funny part.
Wow. So she had sex with you
and then no more.
Mm. I heard that happens to guys
who don't look like me.
I could show you what it's like.
If I were this guy maybe you could.
But come on.
Jen, it's kind of common knowledge
that you're always good to go.
Ouch.
Insulted by someone
who looks like they're in the middle
of gender reassignment.
But the question is,
which way is he going?
Look, Allison believes
that sex is not the way to begin...
...a meaningful relationship.
And I concur.
Yeah, good luck running
that three-legged race by yourself.
Of course that's how you feel.
Why spend time getting to know
a woman...
...when it merely increases her chances
of picking you out of a lineup?
It's different for different couples.
I mean, Jen and I had sex
the first night we met.
I don't even think she knew my name.
-But now, we're totally getting married.
-Adam.
Oh, well, yeah, of course
you know my name now.
That's not what I was talking about.
Oh. Oh, right. Oh, my God,
the cat's out of the bag.
Okay, Timmy, there's a good chance
you're not coming to our wedding.
-Ah. It's really small and--
-Wrong again, Adam.
Oh, hey, good news, buddy,
you're back in.
No, he's not back in.
It's a good thing I'm not
a human being or some of this
could really sting.
[♪♪♪]
So he gave me the medicine
and I got better right away.
Ah.
So you're allergic to ragweed.
-How about that?
-See?
We're getting to know each other.
And that will only enhance
the experience when we go back to....
-You know.
-Yes, I remember.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
-Pardon me.
-It's all right.
[CHUCKLES]
[BLOWS AIR]
So, uh, any other allergies,
or is it just the ragweed then?
-Cat dander, pollen.
-Uh-huh. Oh.
-That's it.
-All right, then.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
-Isn't this where you get off?
-I'm very close.
Uh, yeah, bye, bye-bye.
[BLOWS AIR]
All right. Daddy's lunch is here.
Bring it in.
[GROANS]
You can keep the....
Ow.
[♪♪♪]
I'm not sure
lavender is the right color.
Audrey, get the ball!
Thattagirl.
What? Oh, no, no.
No, no, I told her that's not right.
JEFF:
Audrey, throw the ball!
No, it has to be lilac.
And that is final, I'm not--
Hold on, I'm getting another call.
-Hello?
-Hey, Audrey, it's Jeff from softball.
Yeah, uh, I'm sorry to catch you
at a bad time...
...uh, some of the fellas were, uh, hoping
we could get the ball back.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
[SIGHS]
Um, Timmy?
Timmy, if you have to do that at work,
take it to the men's room.
Sir, I'm only trying to get
the last of the white out.
Yeah, I know, I've been there.
Take it in the men's room, fella.
Sir, this white out.
Oh.
Well, still, ever since Allison cut you off,
you've been a little bit edgy.
Really? Do you think so?
Because I feel pretty
damned relaxed.
I'm just concerned, that's all.
Well, don't be, because it's none
of your business.
It became my business when
you threw a sandwich in there...
...and cracked my sternum.
Well, I'm sorry,
but, yes, I'm a bit pent up.
Well, don't you worry. Uncle Russell's
gonna help you release the pressure.
Look, I don't care how soft and
lady-like your hands are,
the answer's no.
No, no, no, I didn't mean that.
No, I'm just saying,
I've got a phone full of numbers here...
...of professional ladies,
classified by what they're willing to do.
Sir, let me make this clear,
I only want Allison.
And I don't patronize call girls.
I don't patronize them either,
I treat them with respect.
And then sometimes
they let you do extra stuff.
Gratis.
[♪♪♪]
Tuna sandwich, please.
Hmm.
Do you guys have popsicles?
No.
Okay, do you have comment cards?
Okay, so I've decided we need a new,
better story of how we met.
What? Are you kidding?
Our story's great.
Bar, drunk, did it in the cab,
did it in the park.
It's got something for everybody.
Not for me.
I mean, I come off looking pretty slutty.
But I love that you're slutty.
-I know, and we'll always have that.
-Aw.
But I've made up a new story,
and I would like us to tell people
that one from now on.
Okay, will it change
what really happened?
No.
Okay, what have you got?
Okay, so one afternoon,
you saw me disappear into a cab...
...and you were so enchanted by
my beauty...
...that you knocked a bike messenger
off his bike and rode after me
for 20 blocks.
What happened
to the bike messenger?
What does it matter?
Honey,
people are gonna worry about him.
Fine. You gave the bike messenger
a hundred dollars for his bike.
Ooh, how about you offered him
a hundred dollars...
...but he wouldn't
take it since it was for love?
No, honey, it makes him
sound like a better guy than me.
I mean, in that version, it seems
like you should end up with him.
Oh.
What if I'm the bike messenger?
[♪♪♪]
JEFF:
Here we go.
Yeah, nice rip! Nice rip!
Audrey, you're up.
No, that worked as a feature
but not as a cover.
-Hey.
-What?
[LINE DISCONNECTS]
What is wrong with you?
You've been on this phone
the whole game.
I'm sorry, but my job is a little more
important than your softball game.
First of all,
this game has playoff implications.
Secondly, it's not about the game.
Your job is making you miserable.
-It's not that bad.
-Well, it's making me miserable.
When you're not working,
you're complaining about work.
Look around.
It is a gorgeous day,
but you don't see any of it.
I wish you could just relax
and have fun like the rest of us.
-Let's get a batter up there, Bingham.
-You shut up! You shut up right now!
Okay, come on, come on,
get out there and have some fun.
-I know you can.
-Yes, okay, I will.
I'm gonna have fun. Okay.
JEFF:
Eye on the ball. Eye on the ball.
-I hit it! I hit it!
-All right, way to go, hon!
Why don't you run? That's all right.
My God, she sucks.
[♪♪♪]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Uh, Mr. Dunbar?
You wanted to see me?
Uh, yes, Allison, um....
Wanted to talk to you about Timmy.
Oh, does the company frown
upon inter-office relationships?
Oh, no, no, not at all.
Except for some of mine, heh.
But that's a big he said,
the rest of them said, situation.
No, uh, the company frowns upon
"kind of" relationships.
-Pardon me?
-You know, we're "kind of" together...
...but we're not together.
[SQUEAKING]
Are you implying
what I think you're implying?
I'm not really implying anything.
I mean...
...what kind of professional
would I be...
...if I were to tell you to let Tim
ring the old bell once in a while?
So you're telling me
I should sleep with Timmy?
No.
That would be against the law.
Oh, my God, I can't believe you.
[IMITATES ALLISON]
"Oh, my God, I can't believe you."
Allison, what's going on?
Mr. Dunbar just told me
to sleep with you.
Oh, my, how terrible.
-What was your answer?
-No!
I see. I can explain...
...see, um, because, uh, you and I
are not currently being intimate...
...Mr. Dunbar feels I've been
taking out my frustrations on him.
-Are you frustrated?
-No.
No, no, no.
And now that we've gotten to know
each other I was ready to resume
our sexual activities.
-But...?
-We'll see.
Anyway, now I say we keep waiting.
-Uh-oh, why do you now say that?
-Well, we wouldn't want your boss...
-...thinking he had an effect, would we?
-He is the boss now, isn't he, so....
Still, we shouldn't give him
that satisfaction.
For God's sake,
what about my satisfaction?
Is what he'll say
after hearing of our excellent plan.
[♪♪♪]
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
[♪♪♪]
JEFF:
Audrey!
Audrey!
Audrey,
get your head out of your ass!
Jeff? Jeff, I need to talk to you.
What are you doing?
Get back out there.
I've made a decision. I'm quitting.
Just because I told you
to get your head out of your ass?
No, not the team. I'm quitting my job.
-What? Why?
-You were right.
It's making me miserable.
Everybody's job makes them miserable.
Why they gotta pay you to do it.
[CHUCKLES]
There's gotta be something else
I can do with my life.
Well, it's not professional softball,
I'll tell you that.
For the first time in years
I feel light and alive.
BOB: Hey, what's going on here?
-It's not game related.
-Bob, I'm quitting my job.
-Oh, good for you, Audrey.
You've looked exhausted
the last several times I've seen you.
-Is it that obvious?
-Call them as I see them.
-What's the hold up?
-It's nothing.
-Can we just get back to the game?
BOB: Audrey's quitting her job.
Really? You know,
I recently quit my job...
...and started making customized
bird houses.
Jeff and I are working on
starting a family.
-No kidding?
-My wife went back to work full-time
after the twins were born.
She had a really hard time
finding balance.
I can't find balance now.
Then, uh, I gotta respect your decision.
Thank you.
That means a lot, Johnny Mo.
I really hope it works out.
[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
[♪♪♪]
And there, standing outside
my apartment in the rain, was Adam.
And I walked up to her and I said,
"Hey, let me buy you a cup of coffee...
...for the rest of your life.
What a nice story.
Really made the most of that break.
-Hey.
-There she is.
Hey, the future unemployed lady.
[CHUCKLES]
Too bad we can't celebrate
with a round of popsicles.
So how do you feel?
Are you excited?
I am. I feel like
I'm starting a whole new chapter.
And how do you feel?
Tsk.
Initially I was terrified
of losing the second income...
...and Audrey having so much time
to buy stuff we don't need.
-And now?
-That's all.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Oh, Timmy, is the mail here yet?
What do you think this is?
What do you think?
She's still holding out on you, huh?
So are you ever gonna tell
Mr. Dunbar we're doing it again?
RUSSELL: Hey, Timmy, would you mind
please getting me a cup of coffee?
No, I quite like the way things are.
Get it yourself, you spray-tanned dwarf.
I'm off to lunch.
Shall we?
[♪♪♪]