Rugrats (2021-…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Tail of the Dogbot/Jonathan for a Day - full transcript

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[drumroll]

[bright music]

[vacuum whirs]

[giggling]

[whimpering]

[screams]

- Whoa!
- [frog ribbiting]

[both giggling]

♪ ♪

[horn honks]

[cat groans]



Ta-da!

- Whoa!
- [giggles]

[yelling]

Aww.

♪ ♪

[sniffing]

Come on, Spike. Fetch.

- [barks]
- [grunts]

[laughs] Can't catch me.

[laughs] Come and get it.

- Good doggy.
- [barks]

[laughing]

Thanks for all
the kisses, Spike.

Sometimes I wish I had
a bestest doggy friend



like Spike.

- I can be your doggy, Chuckie.
- Me too.

Me too too.

But I gotta warn
you, I'm a drooler.

I'll be a Susie-huahua doggy.

[all imitating dogs]

[laughter]

Oh, that tickles.

Okay, okay, that's
one tongue three many.

[laughs]

Aww, sweet.

Kids and dogs go together
like coffee and cream.

- Nuts and bolts.
- Bermuda shorts and chafing.

And look how happy Chuckie is.

Every kid should have
a pet, don't you think?

[laughing] Absolutely.

Unless, of course, they're
allergic to dog hair like me.

- Remember when we were kids?
- I mean, I had my dog Mookie.

But all you ever
had was Goldilocks.

- Oh, Goldilocks, my goldfish.
- I loved that girl.

At least I think she was a girl.

It's hard to tell with fish.

We had some real nice words

about her or him
before we flushed.

But it's okay about
not having a dog.

I've learned to accept
what I can't control.

But what if you
could control it?

Gotta go.

But Stu, it takes
three to plant rhubarb.

[mumbling] Yes!

[tools whirring]
[possum screeches]

[upbeat music]

- [laughter]
- [barks]

♪ ♪

All right, buddy, you ready
for your big surprise?

Is it barbecue chips?

Your fingers smell
like barbecue chips.

Oh, yeah, I ate a bunch of chips

and didn't wash my hands.

But now for the real
surprise. Ta-da!

- Wow.
- Meet Rusty.

I've invented the perfect
pet for you and Chuckie,

a robot dog.

He's completely hypoallergenic,

and he won't go belly
up after three days.

Listen, it's not that I don't
appreciate your thoughtfulness.

I'm just not a dog guy.

You're not a dog guy 'cause
you've never had one.

Now Chuckie will
have that chance.

But Stu, it looks
so complicated.

No, I made it easy.

Here's his remote
control. Watch.

Woof. Bark. Woof.

- I have to go potty now.
- Deal breaker.

I have enough potty
issues with Chuckie.

- Got you covered, Chas.
- It's not poop that comes out.

It's jelly beans.

Eh? Eh?

And I've programmed him with
all the classic dog modes.

Protection. Playtime.
Doggy tricks.

- Woof. Bark. Woof.
- And affection.

It'll be the full
pet owner experience

without the expensive vet bills.

I guess we could see
if Chuckie likes him.

Pleasure to meet you.

Do you think we could dial down

the affection mode
just a smidge?

[barks] [possum chitters]

- Hey, little champ.
- How're you doing?

Tommy's daddy has
a surprise for you.

[yawns]

[screams]

Bark. Woof. Bark.

It's okay. It's okay.

This is Rusty, your new
dog. He won't hurt you.

Will he, Stu?

- 'Course not.
- He's a good doggy.

Aren't you, Rusty?

You two are gonna
love playing together.

Pet me more.

Okay, Rusty, you stay here.

I'm gonna go play over there.

Stop following me. Agh!

- Pet me more.
- Um, okay,

Woof. Bark. Woof. Thank you.

- [laughs]
- You'll never find me, Rusty.

[giggles]

- Woof. Bark. Woof.
- Ready or not, here I come.

[beeps]

- Ha. Ha. Ha.
- [screams]

[laughs]

And fetch!

[grunts]

[laughs]

Woof. Bark. Woof-woof bark.

[rapid barking]

Roll over.

And roll, and roll, and roll...

You know what, Stu,

when you're right, you're right,

except for that time
you convinced me

to buy a cowboy hat.

[horse neighs]

[quirky music]

Look, guys.

I gots a doggy now too.

His name is Rusty.

Woof. Bark. Woof.

- Awesome.
- Whoa!

That's the amazingest
doggy I ever seen.

- Is that dog from outer space?
- That's a doggy?

He's kind of shiny.

And clanky. [Metal clanking]

- Lick. Lick. Lick.
- [laughs]

Rusty's a really good boy.

- Woof. Bark. Woof.
- I have to go potty now.

[barks]

[sniffs] [growls]

- [all screaming]
- It's okay.

They're just jelly beans.

[both giggling]

- [cheering]
- [chewing]

Aw. Sweet dreams, pal.

[whimpering]

[suspenseful music]

[whimpering]

[bass-heavy music]

[muffler bangs]

[alarm blaring]

[dogs barking]

What?

[screams]

[screams]

The remote. Where's the remote?

Stu!

Uh-oh. Be right there.

[alarm blaring] [dogs barking]

[keypad beeps] [alarm stops]

There. That should do
it. Good as new again.

Hey Stu, I don't think
this is working out.

Chuckie could develop a
fear of all things metal.

And what would that look like?

He might never wear braces.

Or make toast.

I'll just recalibrate
Rusty to be more helpful.

Everything will be fine.

Nice PJs.

[laughter]

Boing boing!

Hey, Chuckie. Where's Rusty?

- [whispering]
- Shh. I sneaked away from him.

How come?

He's been acting
all weird and scary.

Your daddy said he fixed him
and made him helper-a-ful,

but... oh, shh.

Here he comes. [Jets whooshing]

[grunts]

Oh, well, he doesn't
look scary now.

Come on, let's play bouncy ball.

Well, all right.

[laughter]

Hey.

That's no fair.

Yeah, we want a turn too.

Rusty's wrecking the game.

Rusty, you're not 'apposed to
keep pushing the ball to me.

We're... [babbling]

[beeping]

[bird squawks]

[satellite beeping]

Bye, bouncy ball.

You never miss 'em
till they're gone.

Sorry, guys.

Guess we'll have to
play something else.

I know. Reptar Attack.

- [growling]
- [laughs]

[gasps]

No, Rusty. Quit helping me.

No, I don't want it.

[grunting]

[tense music]

[all grunting]

♪ ♪

[all groan]

Aw, Reptar's all yucky now.

I can live with it.

This is terrible!

Rusty won't let Chuckie
have fun with us anymore.

- No, I can still have fun.
- I just... aah!

Woof. Bark. Woof.

- Time to go home.
- [screaming]

I had a feeling it
would end like this.

There's Tommy and Susie

and Phil and Lil.

Oh, remember when we
used to be so happy?

They'd all splash
and play in mud

and I'd watch from a safe
distance across the yard.

Oh, those were the days

[babbling] Aww.

My sad little man.

It's that scary robot, isn't it?

Well, we're gonna give that
jelly bean pooper right back

to Tommy's daddy
right now, we are.

- Woof. Bark. Woof.
- Dog catcher. Dog catcher.

Why would Stu program
a dog catcher mode?

I'm just an oboe
player! Second chair!

Woof. Bark. Woof. Woof.

- [piano keys clanging]
- [screams]

How do I keep losing the remote?

- [screams]
- Woof. Bark. Woof.

[suspenseful music]

Woof. Bark. Woof.

Woof. Bark. Woof.

Woof. Bark. Woof.

♪ ♪

Agh!

[screams] [gasps]

[menacing tone]

[gasping]

- Woof. Bark. Woof. Intruder.
- [screams]

- Help!
- We've gotta save my daddy!

I got your backs, Chuckie.

A baby's gotta do what
a baby's gotta do.

My trusty Studriver
to the rescue!

[beeps]

[mechanical humming]

[jets whooshing]

There it goes,

probably my most perfect
imperfect invention.

Oh, that's not true, honey.

You've had hundreds of them.

Oh, my gosh!

I thought that soulless hunk
of metal was gonna eat me!

No worries.

I'll build a better one
for you with no bugs.

Stu, I don't want another Rusty.

But Chas, Chuckie needs a pet.

What I think Chas is saying
is that he might want

a nice simple pet for
Chuckie, like a hermit crab.

Hermit crab?

I've heard they're a very
quiet, sensitive species.

- I'm sorry.
- Sometimes I get carried away.

[barks]

[laughs]

Thanks, Spike.

Guess I don't need my own
bestest doggy friend after all.

That's right, Chuckie.

You got all your bestest
friends right here.

[barks]

- Phil, save some for later.
- Sorry. Doody calls.

[bright music]

[exciting sci-fi music]

[growling]

[roars]

Reptar.

In space.

- Wow.
- [both whining and grunting]

I don't know what's
wrong with these two.

They used to be my happy
little Jordan and Pippen,

John and Paul, peanut
butter and jelly.

Now they're more
like... I don't know.

Oh.

Peanut butter and onion?

That's actually
not a bad sandwich.

[upbeat music]

Cynthia, here's your
green nacho tea latte.

Jonathan, what did you do
to my green matcha latte?

It's unusually delicious today.

[laughs]

Oh, just an extra sprinkle of...

Oh, who am I kidding?

There's nothing that
can take away the stress

of this city council job.

- What I need is a spa day.
- Excellent idea.

I'll book you a spa
appointment at once.

I also need cucumber slices
for my eyes and ice cold water.

Now? But I am driving.

Eh, you'll find a way.

Did you hear that, Cynthia?

Mommy gets whatever she wants
'cause she's got a Jonathan.

[gasps] You're right!

I need a Jonathan too.

[roars]

[lasers zapping]

- [all gasp]
- Get out of there, Reptar!

Hi, Aunt Didi. Hi, Aunt Betty.

Mommy can't stay on account
of she's skipping work

and having a spa day.

Hmm.

Can you believe it?

All of my meetings
were canceled.

I would have invited you ladies,

but, well, then who
would watch the children?

[laughs]

You know what would be nice?

To have our own
spa day right here.

- Count me in.
- But... I already have...

I'll whip up some facials.

But that's not...

Jonathan!

- An afternoon off. Score!
- [laughs]

- All right.
- Let's get this going.

[roaring]

[exciting sci-fi music]

♪ ♪

- Psst. Finster.
- Talk to me for a sec.

I-I-I don't want any
trouble, Angelica.

- No trouble.
- I wanna play a new game.

It's called Be My Jonathan.

I made it up special
for you and me.

I'd ask Tommy, but
you know how he gets.

Reptar, use your laser beams!

I have been trying to be
more adventurous lately.

Good.

Now go get the
frosted animal cookies

out of the bag Aunt Didi hides
behind the Hanukkah stuff.

- Where's that?
- In the pantry.

- But where?
- The bottom shelf.

- How many cookies?
- Only the pink ones.

Okay.

[quirky music]

What's a pantry?

- Ugh!
- Chucky, you're bad at this.

I tried to tell you that.

You're fired!

Shh.

Oh, hello, Susie Carmichael.

Do you want to play Be my Jo...

Nope. Never. No way.

Lil.

Move. I can't see.

- You move, Phil.
- This is my spot.

[grunts]

Excuse me, Phillip.

You told me to move, Lillian.

Here's a good spot, Phil.

That's okay, Tommy.

I'm gonna go play
blocks or something.

[grunting]

Hello, Phil.

How'd you like to
play a new game

called Be My Jonathan?

Sounds boring.

I like trains. And mud.

[sighs] My mistake.

It is kind of a hard game.

Maybe I should ask
someone else, like Lil.

- Uh, no! Ask me.
- What do I have to do?

You have to drive my Cynthia car

while I ride in the back
and call you Jonathan.

But you said if we ever
touched your Cynthia car,

you'd tie us up with
extra-long socks.

Shh.

- [whispering]
- I say a lot of things.

Do you want to drive
the car or not?

- Is Phil okay?
- Don't know and don't care.

He's been in a
bad mood for days.

Maybe even minutes.

Forget about him. Let's us play!

[whining] Tommy.

[roaring]

Mush! Mush!

[breathing heavily]

Mush! Mush!

Good doggy.

Crabby Phil never let
me mush that long.

Water. Need water.

[panting]

[upbeat music]

Maybe it's the leftover
guacamole on my face talking,

but I'm starting to feel better.

Betty's been having some
behavior issues with the twins.

Well, we can't all
be a perfect mother.

Char, you're hysterical.

[laughs]

Don't call me Char.

Jonathan, I'm ready
for my latte now.

[grunts]

[sighs]

[slurps]

[spits] Jonathan!

I said half apple,
half cranberry!

I'm gonna drive the car now!

[engine revs]

Whoa!

[laughs]

[upbeat pop music]

♪ ♪

[tires squeal]

♪ ♪

- Yuck.
- [blows raspberry]

Hmph.

[mischievous music]

Chuckie, if you're
gonna be my new,

more fun, better Phil...

[chewing]

You're gonna have to
try new foods with me.

But I don't wants
to eat dog food.

I know it's not as
good as fish food,

but it's way better
than cat food.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

[gags, coughs]

Disgusting! [Spits]

[barks]

[panting]

No fair.

Me and Lil always try
new foods together.

Oh, Jonathan, it's time
for my beauty treatment.

Did you bring my cucumber
pieces and spa day stuff?

Uh, I think so. Here.

[frog ribbits]

[screaming]

Here.

[screams]

Not in my mouth!
Not in my mouth!

Crabby Phil loves frogs.

Oh, maybe I miss Crabby Phil,

a little.

[whimpering]

Me too.

[ribbiting]

Okay.

- [bones cracking]
- Ow!

- Well, I feel more relaxed.
- How about you, Char?

To be clear, Betty,
when I booked a spa day,

I just needed exfoliation
and a little time to myself.

Is that too much to ask?

Not at all.

Sometimes little things pile up,

like babies and
bottles and bath toys

and the constant
struggle for identity

and an overly-judgy,
soul-sapping,

social-media-obsessed world!

Oh, I don't know
where that came from.

- [sighs]
- Whoa. Hmm.

[phone dialing]

Jonathan, this homegrown spa day

is not what I needed.

Get back here with an excuse
for me to go back to work

before I turn feral!

[roaring]

[triumphant music]

♪ ♪

- Wow!
- Reptar was amazing this times.

Right, Chuckie?

Chuckie?

Hey, where'd everybody go?

Hey, Phil. Where's Lil?

She's with Chuckie now.

[grunting]

And I'm a Jonathan.

What's a Jonathan?

It's a new game I'm
playing with Angelica.

Oops, I hasta pick up Cynthia
from her spa "appoinkment."

Right.

So what's the fun
part of the game?

Oh, I get to drive
the car around,

and... that's the only fun part.

Wouldn't you rather
play with us?

And Lil?

Can't. I'm in too deep.

Jonathan, what's
taking so long?!

I wanna see Cynthia
all glowy and relaxed!

Gotta go.

Angelica says a
Jonathan never rests.

Bye.

You know who could get
Phil out of this mess?

[grunting]

Your turn next, Chuckie.

We had a good run, you and me.

But I just want everything
to go back to norman.

Need your help, Lil.

We wants to play with Phil,

but he's stuck playing a
new game with Angelica.

I do not know anyone
named Phillip.

Go on.

The only one who can get
Phil out of trouble is you.

- It's true.
- I gets lots of practice.

Jonathan, are you there?

I'm here, Ms.
Important City Lady.

Good.

Now, are you sure you
turned the knob three times?

This mist level feels like five.

Sorry, Your Excellently.

Oh, Phillip, Phillip, Phillip.

Ooh, can you help him, Lil?

I'm not sure anyone
can help him.

- Nah, this is a peasy one.
- Watch.

[mischievous music]

♪ ♪

[grunts]

[hose groaning]

Jonathan, where's my mist?

I can't wait around
here all day!

[yelling]

[screams]

You're fired!

[barking] [laughter]

I really missed you today.

What were we fighting
about anyway?

I do not know.

Got anymore of that doggie food?

Thought you'd never ask.

[both laugh]

[bright music]

♪ ♪