RuPaul's Drag Race: Untucked! (2010–…): Season 11, Episode 7 - Madonna: The Unauthorized Rusical - full transcript

[Lashauwn] This is not
RuPaul's Best Friend Race.

[Laganja] I feel very attacked!

[Vanjie] I was trying
to be cordial with you!

[Silky] If I would've lip synced
for my life today, bitch,

I was ready to do so!

-[upbeat music playing]
-[RuPaul] This is Untucked,

backstage at the competition

to become America's next drag superstar.

Girl, if you're not watching Untucked,

you're only getting half the story.

[male crew member]
Break on the main stage.



All cameras re-po.

[RuPaul] [echoing] Sherry Pie.

Jaida Essence Hall.

The Widow Von'Du.

You will live to tell.

You're safe.

You may leave the stage.

[intense music playing]

[Jaida] Bitch, I'm safe,
and I'm glad about it.

You always strive to be
the winner or to be the best,

but choreography is not my strong suit,

so I am really proud of what I've done.

Bitch, she did something right.

[Widow] In my personal opinion,



I feel like I was but one person away
from being in the top three.

So I'm riding on high spirits,

but I am over being safe. [sighs]

-[male crew member 1] And speeding.
-[male crew member 2] Marker.

[male crew member over headset]
All cameras up. Queens walking.

[female crew member over headset]
Queens are walking.

-Ooh, child!
-[Widow] Yes, bitch.

[exclaims] It's a holiday!

-[Sherry] It is a holi-gay, honey.
-[Jaida] Ooh, holi-gay.

I'm gonna take my shoes off. Mm.

[Jaida] Okay, so look, I'm just glad,
because at rehearsal,

I was nervous, honey.

I have never wanted to be safe...

-So bad.
-[Sherry] So badly, yeah.

I'm not no singer, bitch,
and I struggle with choreography.

And bitch, then we just--

last week just had got past
the motherfucking Snatch Game.

Girl, these are two of the challenges
that are the most difficult on the show.

-[Widow] Girl.
-[Jaida] I know last week

you had an issue...

[dramatic music playing]

...with some of the girls

who had a lot to say about
the Snatch Game not going well.

[Gigi] This is the challenge

that we all had the most time
to prepare for.

[Sherry]
We have known that this is coming.

We prepared for it. But sometimes
in the fucking moment,

you can't be prepared.

What you thinking about right now?

I mean, I'm safe.

It happened last week.

I'm not gonna kick Jackie
while she's down,

as much as I would like to.
But I'm not wearing my shit-kickers.

Oh my-- okay, bitch.

[intense music playing]

Widow was really upset last week

because she feels like Jackie
and I were attacking everybody

about not being prepared for Snatch Game.

She was mad, so she felt
she needed to go on the rampage

and come after us.

Me saying that I'm sorry for what I said

and the way I said it,
that means nothing to you?

You're like, "Well, then, screw you.

I hope you fall in the next challenge?"

This ain't RuPaul's Best Friend Race.

At the end of the goddamn day,
it's me, myself, and I.

Do you feel any remorse

for saying you, like, hope that we fall?

[dramatic music playing]

How I meant it was I hope
that you feel the same...

like, way that you made me feel
when you came into the room.

-Like, I was already beating myself up.
-[Jaida] Yeah.

[Widow] And I'm like, well, fuck it.

I can be the Widow Von'Du from Kansas City
that just doesn't talk to people.

[Widow] Right now, I'm super defensive

'cause I allowed myself
to have feelings here,

and thank you for reminding me

that I don't need them
in this competition.

Allow me to reintroduce myself.

I am the Widow Von'Du,
that bitch from Kansas City.

If that's what you want,
that's what you gon' get.

I will be kosher with
these bitches when needs be,

but other than that,
we ain't gots to be friends.

You were safe, right?

-Mm-hmm.
-[Sherry] Last week?

So if you were feeling down
on your performance...

that's you feeling down
on your performance.

[suspenseful music playing]

That's you. That's you.

At the end of the day, you were safe.
But I think Jackie's comment

was more towards the girls
who were in the bottom.

[angrily] What? Child, uh-uh.
The main thing was,

was somebody was trying
to, like, lecture you.

It was more like a, well,
why weren't you bitches prepared,

and why were you not ready?

I mean, I wouldn't say it,
because, bitch,

I've been in the bottom
that one time, bitch.

But it's like, if you can
give it out to somebody,

don't be surprised
if somebody gave it back to you.

[sips]

Okay.

[Sherry] Do you feel...

I mean, because
I was part of that group...

Mm-hmm.

Do you feel... any... feelings...

[Widow] Towards you?

I mean, I'm not gonna lie.
I did think about it.

I did think about saying,

well, girl, did you prepare
for the dance challenge?

But if we gonna be cool,

then just don't kick a bitch in the balls
when they're already sore.

Ooh.

Like, I don't like to throw
stones at glass houses.

[sips]

How are you feeling being just safe
in a dancing challenge?

It's kind of... I was--
I was hoping for more,

-at least one of the top three.
-Mhm.

Like, because dancing is
pretty much all I do,

so I really wanted it.

But I take my gifts as I get them, so...

-[laughs]
-[Sherry] Girl.

[RuPaul] Well, thank you, ladies.
I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I will be voguing.

You may leave the stage.

Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!

-[queens] Hey, hey!
-Yoo-hoo!

Yoo-hoo.

-[Gigi] Ooh, I need a blanket.
-[Jackie] Hi, ladies.

How you feeling, bitch?

Finally in the top, everybody.

[Jaida] Werk.

So what's happening? What's tea?

I see a smile.

I'm very excited, um,
[high-pitched] just because--

[mocking her in a high-pitched voice]
Just because!

[all laugh]

Y'all know she has been trying
to get in the top,

and she's been trying to get critiqued,

and they had all great things to say.

[Sherry] So what did-- what happened?

They said that they liked everything
about my look

except the earrings.

But they said they could tell
that I fucked up on my choreography,

which I did, and I got in my head again.

And, it's just, I'm having a hard time.

[suspenseful music playing]

[Jaida] Bitch.

It's just hard because
I bring so many people joy,

but, like, I'm not happy inside.

It just sucks being
in the bottom so many times.

I just keep on, like, failing...

which sucks.

[Jackie] Brita, let me say this.

They don't think you're a failure.

They said how hard it was to judge this.

[Sherry] Yeah, you're not failing.

Do you know how hard it is
to fuck up choreography

and still make all of them
out there feel good inside?

Your energy is something that you have

and no one can ever
take that away from you, B.

Thank you.

It's so sad to see your friend,

who you care about and who you believe in,

have so many doubts.

But I know Brita.

She's not a quitter. She is gonna fight.

And I know Brita's gonna
be able to rebound from this.

I have no doubts.

[Gigi] Heidi, I was very surprised.
Very surprised.

What critiques did you get?

It's just, you know, more of the same.

-It's the look.
-But it was nitpicky, very nitpicky.

It's just hard, because I'm just not
what they're looking for.

Heidi, they love you.

[emotional music playing]

You can love all you want somebody,

but if they're not
what you're looking for,

it's not what they're looking for.

The only critique of your performance
was just that it wasn't really Madonna.

But they love you so much
that it didn't matter.

But then they praised Crystal
for not being Madonna,

for being Crystal in her performance.

But I think where they praised Crystal

was that she brought herself
out through Madonna.

Because your personality
is so vibrant and it's so apparent,

I feel like when they don't see it,

it's something that they take stock of.

I think you did great.

[Gigi] I'm feeling a little guilty

just for everything that
went down with me and Heidi.

You're a sickening performer,

but the judges have told you
week after week

that you have to improve on your face.

Sure, at the end of the day
it is me, myself, and I.

But I also don't want anybody
to feel less than

because of something
that somebody else said.

That's just not right.

[Jackie] I don't know why you're so upset,
because honestly, based on the critiques,

I think it's me and Brita
against each other.

[Heidi] Lies.

I'm the umpire. I'm calling out lies.

[Jan] I think it's even playing field.

I can see it going any way.

Also, Heidi, I will say
your makeup is beautiful tonight.

They didn't notice, so, you know--

But they didn't call it out.

Yeah.

[Heidi] I worked hard.

A lot of the girls have given me
really good feedback, and...

and I can hear them.

But it's hard to set
all those doubts and fears

that you've had
for such a long time aside.

I'm trying to push past all of it...

but that's not their struggle,
it's my struggle.

I'm gonna say congratulations,
because she won the challenge.

-[Gigi] I think Jan--
-[Sherry] Did you win?

-[Gigi] I think Jan won.
-No, but she's going to.

-[Brita] Listen, you--
-[vocalizes]

I need you to dance the house down

-in these titties back home, sis.
-Girl, could you imagine, just--

[Brita] Do it, do it, do it!
Like, grah, grah, grah, grah.

-That's right!
-[Gigi] That looks exhausting.

Girl, I'm gonna have a broken nose.

-Yeah.
-[all laugh]

Hello!

[all scream]

-Hi!
-Oh, my God, AOC!

Hi, everyone. How are you?

Oh, my gosh, AOC is in Untucked!

-You are amazing.
-No, you all are amazing.

-Wow. Hi.
-[Alexandria] Who do I hug first?

[Jan] Girl.

Welcome to Untucked!

I'm gagged. I'm gagged.

-We're gagged! We are so gagged!
-[queens laugh]

How did you enjoy
the Madonna performance? Like--

Okay, I'm a huge Drag Race fan.

I think this was the best Rusical
out of all of them.

[cheering]

-No B.S.
-[queens laugh and cheer]

So what's it like for you
being on RuPaul's Drag Race?

It is-- I mean, this is truly
a dream come true.

I mean, last year, I was bartending
in a restaurant.

-[Gigi] Wow.
-That was my life last February,

and every night I would come home,

and the only thing that would help me
disconnect and unplug

-was watching Drag Race.
-Aww.

That was the thing that I did
every single night.

And to be in this moment is just
so humbling and amazing,

and I'm just trying to drink it up
the way you all are.

[Jaida] This is so crazy, that, like,

somebody so important in this country

would take the time
out of their life to come here.

[Jan] Not only you being here,

but to hear that you love
and appreciate what we do...

and that it helps affect change
throughout the universe.

And, like, hearing that from you,

who is so, you know, amazingly powerful

and impactful to our society
right now, I'm so appreciative.

I know everybody here is, too,
so thank you.

-[Jackie] We're gagged.
-[Brita] Yeah.

[Jackie] Like, we are literally gagged
that you're sitting right here.

It's really exciting to meet
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

This is such a huge honor, because...

she's stood down the very same racism

that my mom has encountered...

her whole time living in this country.

It means a lot to me

that there's representatives
like AOC in Congress today.

I see you standing up
to that man every day,

and...

[emotional music playing]

How can we all even, like,
complain about anything

when you literally stand in the face

of what I think is the most...

-Evil.
-The worst parts of our nature as humans.

And you stand up against him,
and you say, "No."

That's so hard.

It-- You know, but we all do it
in our own ways.

People think Congress and government

is all about leading people,
but ultimately,

a lot of our politics
is about following the public will.

And the people
who change what people think

are artists and drag queens,

and let's not forget who threw
that first brick at Stonewall.

-Yes!
-You know...

That is what led
to us passing the Equality Act

in the House in this term,
marriage equality.

It starts with you.

I mean, you're patriots.

You are. You are.

-You are patriots.
-It's hard.

And I'm so proud of you all.

I'm so proud to live
in this country with you

and with your mother,
and with all of us as family.

-Oh, girl.
-[Jaida] Oh, my God.

I know it's hard

hearing those critiques
whenever you get them,

but each and every one of you are here

because you have
such a unique characteristic

that only belongs to you,
that no one else has.

And just know that, that that's
forever what makes you special.

Thank you.

-[Sherry] We love you.
-Ooh.

-I'm gonna give her a toot right now.
-[laughs]

-[all laugh]
-Toot!

-Thank you! Thank you!
-[queens cheer]

[queens] Go away! Go away!

Queens, I gotta take the Congresswoman.

[queens] Oh!

Thank you so much for being here.

-[Jan] Yeah, I need a hug.
-You have five minutes.

-[Jan] Thank you so much.
-[Alexandria] Thank you.

-[Widow] Aah! Bitch!
-[Crystal] Thank you, Five.

Bye!

I am gagging!

Oh, my God.

-I love you very much.
-I love you, too.

Kill it, please.

-Ooh.
-If you do--

Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

[emotional music playing]

[Brita] I'm, like, truly shivering inside,

but, like, I'm gonna have to work
above 100% now

just to, like, regain myself.

But listen, I am strong and committed

and... I'm here to slay.

[Heidi] I am lost for words.

I'm feeling determined.

It's time to kick it into high gear,

because I wanna prove

that a small-town queen
can win this competition.

And if I have to lip sync,

I'll lip sync my motherfucking ass off
and keep it pumping.

Because I want to be
the next drag superstar.

I cannot go home.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Let's go. Gotta go to the runway.

Let's do it. This way.

Just knocking shit down.

-[queen] Let's go.
-Anybody got a napkin?

I'll clean that up
when I come back. My bad.

[RuPaul] Welcome back, ladies.

[suspenseful music playing]

Brita and Heidi...

the time has come...

to lip sync...

for your life.

Heidi, shantay, you stay.

[exhales]

Brita, thank you for the joy
you bring to everything you do.

Now... sashay away.

[applause]

[emotional music playing]

[Brita] I was so in my head
this entire competition.

I get in my head and
I just start to freak out...

and then everything goes crazy.

Like, I automatically turn into She-Hulk.

I'm perfectly capable of slaying it,

but I am my own worst enemy.

[exhales]

Oh. All these notes.

Jan. "I don't know where to begin.

From my beginning of drag,

you've always been my biggest cheerleader.

Your presence will forever be appreciated.
You are sickening and you are stunning

and you are the joy for me
and for everyone else.

You will always be my favorite.

I love you. Love, Jan"

[laughs]

Yes, sis, I got you.

I wish I could be here with my sisters,

but I got in my way too much, um...

and I shouldn't have gotten in my own way.

I worked so hard... [sniffles]

and I think I'm gonna take
some time to myself

to, like, refocus and re-energize,

so that I can really show 'em what I got.

I like her.
She's gonna go down in herstory.

There's a big thing
that I learned being here,

that you only have
a certain amount of time,

so, like, you gotta
leave ego outside of this.

I don't care how you're feeling.

Like, truly, you gotta leave
your feelings at the door, sis.

Gonna get hungry. [chuckles]

See you later, Werk Room.

You Brita werk!

I've always just wanted to spread
so much joy to people.

And maybe I was shady at times,
but, you know,

it's time to show
the real Brita that I know.

You've-- That's it.

And don't forget my name.
It's Brita, bitch.

I had a lot of fun, sis.

Oww, you Brita werk! Ha-ha!

[laughs]

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

♪ A-A-A-A-American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪