RuPaul's Drag Race (2009–…): Season 9, Episode 7 - 9021-HO - full transcript

[RuPaul] Previously
on RuPaul's Drag Race...

We gonna be playing some
Snatch Game up in here.

-[all cheer]
-Yes! Yes!

[all laugh]

-No!
-Bloop!

Titties.

They help me to be successful
in this entertainment business.

[RuPaul] Peppermint.

NeNe Leakes, you could
have gone anywhere with her,

but it just doesn't
cross the finish line.

Cynthia Lee Fontaine.



I love the choice
of Sofia Vergara for you,

but I didn't understand
what was going on.

And it wasn't the accent.

[RuPaul] Alexis Michelle.

You do such a good Liza,
she better watch her back.

[RuPaul]
Con-drag-ulations.

You're the winner
of this week's challenge.

Peppermint,
shantay, you stay.

Cynthia Lee Fontaine,
sashay away.

Ohh.

Oh, my gosh,
this is so tight.

I think Peppermint
is a little shaken

after being
in the bottom two.

But that lip sync, girl,
she did the damn thing.



I think we got a real lip sync
assassin on our hands.

I'm just so happy that Cynthia
had a second chance.

She brought
so much love and joy.

I love her,
but, bye, bitch!

Trinity is the new official
messy queen of Season 9.

No, I am
the new official cucu.

-Oh!
-Whoo!

-Hey!
-Yes.

Cynthia went home,
and unfortunately,

that's how this cookie
is gonna crumble

for a lot of girls.

There can only be one,

and some of these girls
got to go.

[Trinity] Congratulations
to you, though.

I'm so happy
that you actually won.

Ross said
that I am rising up.

It felt really good to get
some really strong critiques.

Thank you, Ross.

I will take that to heart.

[Valentina] Alexis Michelle
finally won a challenge.

Girl, watch out 'cause
she is going to make it

♪ me, me, me, me, me ♪

She's going to make it
the Alexis show.

I feel good
about what I did,

and hopefully from now on

I can just kind of like
have a little fun

and let down my guard
a little bit.

-Good.
-No, not hopefully.

From now on, you're gonna
let down your guard

and have more fun.
Right, girl?

Okay, mom.

Thank y'all for all y'all's,
you know,

support and reading me
behind my back.

Girl, we read you
to your face, too.

From now on, we ain't gonna be
giving you no more compliments

'cause now you's some
real competition, bitch.

-So let's get out of this drag.
-Well, on that note, bitch.

[sighs]

[Sasha Velour]
You guys, who am I?

[whiny voice]
I need to smoke, why?

You can never wear enough
highlighter.

Oh...

The competition
is getting a lot tighter.

I feel like I am
a strong competitor.

But there are some other
really strong competitors.

♪ Ka-ka-ka,
ka-da-da-ka-ka, pow ♪

I'm not taking
nothing for granted.

Ow! Ow!

Ow!

Aah! God.

You got to do it
like a Band-Aid.

It's not a time
to get comfortable.

That was so painful.
Thank you, babe.

[car engine starts]

[bell rings]

[RuPaul] The winner of
RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics

and a cash prize
of $100,000.

With extra special
guest judges

Tori Spelling
and Jennie Garth.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

♪ I am American,
American, American ♪

-Hey, y'all.
-Hey, y'all.

Lo pasado, pasado.

It's a brand-new day
in the workroom,

and I feel great.

Has anybody else
started to have, like,

really weird dreams
at night?

-Me.
-Yeah.

-Oh, my gosh.
-Yes.

I had a dirty dream
about Sasha.

-Aah!
-Oh.

Rated R?

[alarm]
Ooh, girl,

Saved by the ooh, girl.

She done already done
had herses.

America's
next drag superstar

needs to respect
the craft of acting.

So when the spotlight
hits you,

you can deliver your line
with diction and conviction.

[clears throat]

Freeze, you honky bitch!

[all laugh]

Thank you.

[applause]
Thank you.

I think
she was talking to me

'cause I'm
the only honky bitch.

[all laugh]

Hello, hello, hello.

[all cheer]

Ladies, get ready
to rewind to 1993.

When I was born!

-You were born in '93?
-Yeah.

I'm gonna fucking fuck you up.

[all laugh]

For this week's
maxi challenge,

you'll be acting in
a classic high school drama

that we're calling
9021-Ho.

[all laugh]

And you can hashtag that.

#9021HO

[laughter]

Later today,

you'll head over to the set
to meet your co-directors,

from the original
Beverly Hills 90210,

the legendary Jennie Garth
and Tori Spelling.

[cheering]

My mind is blown.

Peppermint, you survived
last week's lip sync,

so you get to assign
the roles.

It's back to class, ladies,

but this time, you're
going to rule the school.

So good luck,
and don't fuck it up.

Oh, my God, this is great.

Wow.

90210 was the show

that I would, like, sneak
into my brother's room to watch.

This is my childhood
right here.

I'm an expert on 90210,

so I feel really ready
for this challenge.

All right,
let's go through it.

Blenda Schmaltz, she's
the original high school bitch.

Monna Dartin, good girl.
She's a virgin.

Then there's
Grandrea Zuckerwoman,

the high school senior
who looks 50 years old.

Ooh, she's pregnant
and doesn't know it. Wow.

Do you have
any inclinations?

My approach
is to ask the girls

what roles they want to do,

because
I don't want to be blamed

if somebody doesn't do well
in this challenge.

I want to know if there's
anything that speaks to anybody.

My first two choices
are Mirror Monna Dartin

or Bethani Glamber Gliessen.

I was kind of into,
like, Blenda.

I kind of like
all of them,

but, like, my favorites are
Mirror Monna Dartin or Blenda

because they're both
bitchy and nasty.

Okay.

So, ladies, I have cast
the production.

The role of Blenda Schmaltz
will be played by...

Nina Bo'nina Brown.

Word.
Thank you, Pepper.

Bethani
will be played by Shea.

Yes.

Grandrea Zuckerwoman
will be played by Aja.

That was none of my picks.

I know that.

[sighs] God.

Don't roll your eyes.

-Don't get in your head, girl.
-It's gonna be good.

It's just frustrating
because I always

land a role
that I don't want.

Let's just make this work.

Can I go
on a smoke break?

Are you that stressed out?

Yeah, I don't want
to be Grandrea.

Girl, you gotta grow up
and accept the challenge.

I don't have to.

[sighs]

If it's going
to be that tense,

I'll take Grandrea
and she can--

No, you don't have to
because it's not your detriment.

What I'm saying is,
I can do--

You know what?
I'm making a decision.

You two are swapping roles.

-I don't want to be a--
-You're swapping roles.

I know,
but I'm not trying to--

You already said
you're stressed.

I know how you feel.

But now what role
do you have?

-Bethani.
-Are you cool with that?

Yeah, I'm cool with--
like, I don't mean trouble.

-It's just we got a lot to--
-Let's rehearse.

[Peppermint] I think Aja doesn't
want to play a grandma.

It's one of the biggest parts
in the show,

and you traded it in

for a bitch who's only
in the last scene.

So now you look like a bitch

playing a bitch
in the last scene.

I feel so childish
right now.

Well, you probably should,
girl.

I'm the new bitch
in this school.

Who wants my virginity?

Mom, what are you
doing here?

This week's maxi challenge

is to act in the new
TV classic 9021-Ho.

We need to, like--
we need to run off like--

like run, like,
flipping our hair.

Me and Trinity are going
to add a little quirks

and kirks--is that a word?

Qui--quirk.

We're adding little quirks--

Are you sure that's a word?

Quirks.

Anyways, we're doing these
little things together,

and I think it's going to read
really well on camera.

[Aja] She didn't wear it up
on her head like that.

But that's very
nineties to me.

-Um, can I make a suggestion?
-Yeah, what's up?

'Cause you say your name,
right?

-Yeah, Gran-dray-a.
-Say it--yeah, Grandrea,

so that it sounds
like Andrea.

Okay, girl, we get it.

You watched the show a lot.

They definitely had, like,

more natural eyebrows
in the nineties.

So, like, not too thin
or not too sculptural.

Girl, bye.

Fuera.

It's time for us
to shoot 9021-Ho.

I'm looking to toe up,

but I'm loving it,
and I'm ready to go.

Hello, ladies.

I'm Jennie and I will be
your director today.

Excuse me, hi.
I'm Tori.

Actually, I'm your director.

You know what, Tor?

It's not always about you,
okay?

Well, of course, it is.

Hmm. I've been wanting
to do this a long time.

[gasps]

Oh!

And scene.

[all laugh]

Now, ladies,
that's what you call acting.

Let's see it.
Places, everybody.

And...

-Action.
-Action.

Uh, uh,
I'm Grandrea Zuckerwoman

and I'm a... [coughs]

I'm a... [wheezes]

I'm a senior.

A senior what?

[laughs and snorts]

And cut.

Shea, your cough
and snort combo--

-really, really something.
-Well, thank you.

I'm a terrible asthmatic.
[laughs]

Let's move on.

Maybe at this new school,
you shouldn't be such a bitch.

Where are the cool people
at in the school?

-Cut.
-Nina, maybe try it

with, like,
a different tone.

Where are the cool people at?
This school.

No.

Maybe lose the pause
before "at."

Where are the cool people
at this school?

Where are
the cool people at?

Where are the cool people
in this school?

Our milkshakes are melting

because Nina keeps
messing up her lines,

and it's taking forever
for them to get to us.

The girl-to-boy ratio
here blows.

Nina, I would recommend

maybe articulating
a little bit more on that line.

The girl-to-boy ratio
blows.

Nina speaks super fast.
La-la-la-la-la-la.

Hey, Nina.

The girl-to-boy ratio.

Just make sure that we can
really understand your words.

[Nina] I said that, but okay.
I know what’s going on.

[whispering]
She hates you.

Hates me, she’s gonna kill me. But I can’t
understand a word she’s saying.

I know.

-Time to move on.
-Action.

[gasps]
Oh, my God, Marta--

[laughs]

-Marta?
-Monna.

Did you forget
who you were?

-Yeah. I got it now.
-Okay.

Marna Donny--

-Sorry. Can I start that over?
-Cut.

Marta Dart... um…
What is it? Monna?

-Monna Dartin.
-Okay, got it.

-You okay, Farrah?
-Yeah, sorry.

Okay. Action.

Oh, my God, Monna Dartin,
we're seniors.

There's enough calories
in that to kill you.

But we all gotta die
of something.

Cut.
Uh, Sasha, ham it up.

Don't be afraid to go big.

And I think
your whole performance,

you could be just a little--

-Notch up.
-Boozier.

-Okay.
-And action.

Mom, stop copying me.

No wonder
I'm addicted to speed.

I'm addicted
to speed, too.

-No, you're not!
-No, you're not!

-Mom!
-Mom!

-[laughs]
-And cut.

Trinity, you were great.

You were like bang on
through the whole scene.

So good job.

[Tori] This is a big scene.

This is my favorite scene.

-There's two Donnas.
-Two Donnas.

-And no Kelly. Yeah.
-Of course you love it.

You're going to be
talking into a mirror,

and your actor is not going to
be there talking back to you,

so that can get
really confusing.

Kind of like Avatar.

It's nothing
like Avatar.

-[laughs]
-And action.

Dear darling Monna, of course
you're still a virgin.

You're scared of everything.

And cut.

You are like the devil,

so I would say amp that up.

-Okay.
-Like, a lot.

Okay, energy up
and action.

But I've never had
a drink before.

Listen, chickie,
it's plain and simple.

Get drunk at the prom
and get yourself laid!

But I'm scared.

And cut.

You did a great job.

I really believe that you're
so sweet and innocent.

-But I am.
-[laughs]

[Jennie] This is the prom,
you guys, so...

Didn't you love
those dance scenes?

No, I hated them.

-They take forever, all day.
-Yeah.

Remember, everybody,
stay in character.

If you're a bitch,
be a bitch the whole time.

If you're a whore,
be a whore.

-Yeah.
-[all laugh]

Are you talking about me?

No, did I look at you?

You did.

Places, please, ladies.

Action.

I want to sex you up.

Okay.

Cut, cut, cut.
Sorry, guys.

Kissing scenes
are always awkward.

Mm-hmm. You have
to touch lips. I mean--

You have to make it
look real.

We don't care.
We'll do it.

We'll kiss.

Here comes all of
Aja's tongue in my mouth.

[laughs]

We might have
to get married after this.

Cut.
That is a print.

Let's move on.

-Action.
-Action.

We're never going
to see each other again.

Yes, we are.

We're gall going to the sa--

I'll start over again.

Yes, we are.

We're going
to the same college.

We're gonna work together.

Cut.

Aja, she is a real bitch.

Let's see that.
And action.

Yes, we are.

We're all going
to the same college.

We're gonna
work together again.

I just have one thing
to say, and that's--

Oh, oh, oh!

I'm not even pregnant.

-And cut.
-And cut.

Well, I think
our job here is done.

-Yep.
-Aja's performance is meh.

Shea took a role
that she didn't want

and made it really funny.

You know Aja
has got to be cracked.

Ha!

Oh, my hair
looks sickening.

We're getting ready
for runway,

and I genuinely feel stupid

for reacting the way I did
yesterday.

I'm embarrassed.

I'm looking back at, like,
my little stupid tantrum

and I'm just laughing now
because it was so dumb.

Well, I'm glad
you can see that.

I definitely, like,
feel like I made a mistake.

The only thing you can do now
is just focus on my runway,

because I need
to ace this shit.

So I know both of you wanted
to be my date to prom,

but I finally
made my choice.

I choose me.

[laughs]

I went to so many proms
in high school.

My junior year,
I went with a boy to prom.

We went to our winter formal
in drag.

-Yes.
-Oh, my God.

This is my good girl
Kristin.

I went to prom,
and I won Prom King.

-Yay!
-Of course you did.

My high school experience
was bad.

In high school,
my grandmother got sick.

She had cancer.

So the last two years
of high school,

I quit school to take care
of my grandmother

and just home schooled
myself.

My mother died when I was eight
from complications of HIV.

She was
in the wrong business.

She was an exotic dancer.
She did drugs.

So I was raised
by my grandparents,

and my grandmother
got terminally ill

when I was 16
and died when I was 18.

I never got to do
like a prom.

I never got to do
a senior trip

or a graduation
or anything like that.

I missed out
on a lot of things

that kids get to do
in high school,

but that was my choice.

I did that on my own
because I loved her.

[Shea] I've lost
so many relatives to cancer.

-Oh.
[Shea] My dad has multiple myeloma,

which is in the bone marrow.

I kind of put up a barrier
between my dad and I

when I started doing drag.

He's just never been a man

that really expressed his love
through words or actions

because he's a military man
and, you know, conservative.

And then I think because
of his cancer diagnosis,

it's put some things
into perspective for him.

One day he gave me a call,

and he's, like,
I just want to let you know

that I love you regardless.

I know that
you're just an artist,

that this
is your expression.

And it was the most validating
experience I've ever had.

I just realize that my time
with him is limited

and he's actually way more
accepting and loving

than I gave him credit for.

[Sasha] I know it was
a real struggle for my mom.

She actually was, like,
really not comfortable...

-Onboard?
-with the drag.

Is that something

that you struggle with
feeling unresolved about?

[Sasha] Yeah. That's why
I'm a bald queen.

When she lost her hair,

she felt
she couldn't be beautiful.

-Oh.
-Oh.

Right after I graduated
from college,

my mom was diagnosed
with cancer.

Chemo made her lose
all of her hair.

I am a bald queen
to represent for my mother.

Taking all of that and turning
that into drag in my own way

was the most important thing
I've ever done in my life.

And I feel like
the drag queen I am now

is not the drag queen
that she got to see, either.

[Alexis] I really do believe
that the people that leave us

are watching us
and can see us.

Yeah.

[Alexis] And I bet
that she's really proud

of the queen
that you've become.

Thank you.

You should try
to get up a meeting

with the Hollywood Medium.

You know I offer readings,
right?

Girl,
you know I'm into Santería

and all that spiritual stuff.

I would like that.

Aja Queen,
the Bed-Stuy medium.

We'll get together
one day.

We will do that.
I'll bring you a chicken.

[laughs] Shut up!

Rawk!

♪ Covergirl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe
let your whole body talk ♪

And what?

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

President of the Theater Club,
Michelle Visage.

Ru, can you see
my follicles?

No, but Rizzo is PG.
Pass it on.

-Okay.
-In high school,

he was voted most likely
to "tszuj" a straight guy.

Carson Kressley.

Oh, actually, I was voted
most likely to suck-seed.

[laughs]
The OG Kelly Taylor,

Jennie Garth is here.

Now, did you learn anything
from my girls?

How about the more you know,
the less you ho?

It's a good point.

And the OG Donna Martin,
Tori Spelling is here.

Now, Tori, I've always wanted
to ask you this.

Mother,
may I sleep with danger?

Yes, you may.
Mama likie.

[laughs]

This week,
we challenged our queens

to star in a new TV classic,
9021-Ho.

Gentlemen,
start your engines,

and may the best woman win.

[RuPaul] Category is
big hair everywhere.

Valentina.

[Valentina]
Lily pads for light days.

My inspiration
was Miss Diana Ross.

Believe it or not, I'm only
wearing four wigs at once.

Ooh, Diana Rose.

Well, I'm seeing
very Donna Summer's-Eve.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Farrah Moan.

[Ru imitating Mae West]
Oh, what a big tease.

-Hubba-hubba.
-My runway look

pays homage to RuPaul
and Dolly Parton.

I'm really feeling
this look.

[RuPaul] I think
she's prematurely gray.

[RuPaul] Trinity Taylor.

[Carson] That's Barbar-fella.

[Trinity] Girl, this wig is
standing up by the grace of God.

But my holy Jesus,
do I look fabulous.

[Carson] Oh, that reminds me.
I have to get dental floss today.

[RuPaul] Sasha Velour.

[Tori] It's like Sid ate Nancy.

[Sasha] I'm representing a side
of me and a side of Brooklyn

that is a necessary
palate cleanser

from all these, like,
big hair pageant beauties.

[RuPaul]
Never mind the Bullocks.

Bollocks.

I'm talking about the
department store on Wilshire.

-Yeah.
-God, I miss that.

-Not Sandra?
-No.

-Peppermint.
-Take that, Chaka Khan.

[Peppermint] I am serving
classic, old school, disco diva

with a dangerous
fiery flair.

-Hot...
-Yes.

-...oil treatment.
-[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Nina Bo'nina Brown
Jessica Parker.

[Carson] Oh. She's really taking
this catwalk thing seriously.

[Michelle laughs]

[Nina] I like to do sex appeal
and I like to give face.

Girl, I'm giving you just cat,
pussy, girl, pussy.

[Michelle] Wake me up
before you calico-co.

-Ow.
-Shea Coulee.

Yes, honey, she is
going back to her roots.

-Okay.
-[Shea] I say Shea

is equal parts bougie
and banji.

Bitch, I'm really feeling
the fantasy right now.

[Michelle] That's why
she's so popular.

She knows how to handle
a Big Gulp.

[RuPaul] Alexis Michelle.

[Carson] Oh, look,
it's Helena Bottom Carter.

[Michelle] Yes. [laughs]

[Alexis] I am serving you
some big hair,

don't care,
Ursula-inspired sea hag.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice,
Beetlejuice.

[RuPaul] Aja.
Whoomp, there it is.

[Aja] I'm channeling
a little Queen of Hearts,

a little Alexander McQueen.
A lot of queen. [laughs]

[Carson] I know why
the caged queen...

-...does something?
-[all laugh]

-Does she sing?
-She sings.

[RuPaul] Welcome, ladies.

Let's take a look at my new
favorite show, 9021-Ho.

-Brrrr!
-Hush up, Michelle.

My show is on.

[theme music plays]

Wow, our first day
at a new school.

Isn't that awesome?

No, it sucks.

The girl-to-boy ratio here
blows.

Maybe at this new school
you shouldn't be such a bitch.

Where's our first class?

Let's ask that
old, old lady over there.

Hi. Welcome to West
Beverly Johnson High School.

I'm Grandrea Zuckerwoman,

and I'm a-- [wheezes]

[coughs]
I'm a senior.

A senior what?

Were you held back
for, like, three decades?

[laughs and snorts]

I'm also president
of the abstinence club.

I can see that worked out.

Hi, I'm Brandy Schmaltz.

I'm running
for class president.

Okay.
You two are tragic.

Where are the cool people?

Oh, you must mean them.

Nelly, she's the totally
pretty popular one,

and that's Monna Dartin,

the last virgin
of the class of '93.

Oh, my God, Monna Dartin,
we're seniors.

Nelly, look, it's Dillard.

Are you guys going
to the prom together?

I haven't decided yet.

And why is the diner
in the school?

Enough damn questions.
Here's some fries.

There's enough cholesterol
in there to kill you.

Mmm.

We all gotta die
of something.

But not before
I lose my virginity.

Oh, I was a virgin once.

Then Mr. Adam
of the Adam's Apple

gave me his big, thick,
juicy, foot-long...

hot dog?

I love hot dogs.

I love hot dogs, too!

Mom!
What are you doing here?

Senior year.
I'm so excited.

And prom is coming.

Mom! Stop copying me.

No wonder
I'm addicted to speed.

I'm addicted
to speed, too!

-No, you're not.
-No, you're not.

-Mom!
-Mom!

Mom, if you don't cut it out,
I'm gonna join a cult.

Honey,
don't go without me!

Oh!

[sighs]
What's wrong with me?

Why am I still a virgin?

Isn't it obvious?

-Who's there?
-Psst.

I'm right here in the mirror,
dumb-ass.

[gasps]

No wonder you're a virgin.

You're afraid of everything.

You should get wild.

Like, do drugs?

No! Remember,
this is your brain.

This is your brain on drugs,
on a croissant.

Mmm, sounds delicious.

Listen, chickie,
it's plain and simple.

Get drunk at the prom
and get yourself laid!

But I'm scared.

Go, girl.

All right, just a sip.

[Ru and judges laugh]

[Monna clears throat]

So I know you both wanted
to be my date for prom,

but I've made my choice
and I choose...me.

I'll date you!

And you!

Oh, Mom!

I can't believe you joined
the same cult as me.

Oh.

Eww, this prom sucks.

God, Blenda,
don't be such a bitch!

Yeah, because
I'm Bethani Glamber Gliessen,

and I'm the new bitch
in this school.

Oh, you can't touch this.

Whoo! There it is.

I'm too legit to quit.

Aah!
Nice try, you 9021-Ho!

Oh!
[bell rings]

Ooh, saved by the bell.

Oh.

I'm outta here.

I'm gonna go play a witch
on Charmed.

Wow.
I have never seen anybody

stand up to my sister
like that before.

You're hot.
I want to sex you up.

I was gonna wait
till college to experiment,

but...okay.

Whoo!

Oh!

What's her problem?

Party.

Who wants
to take my virginity?

Oh, that's it,
Monna Dartin!

No drag-uation for you.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

You guys, just stop!

Look, everybody
makes mistakes.

You're a terrible mother.
You joined a cult.

You're old
and you're pregnant.

Well, I still don't think
she should drag-uate.

Pipe down.

You're just a fifth season
replacement.

[gasps]

So what do you say, guys?

Let's give her
another chance.

Let Monna Dartin drag-uate.

[chanting]
Monna Dartin drag-uate.

Monna Dartin drag-uate.

Well...

Okay.

-Yay!
-Yay!

[cheering]

Aah!

Fellow drag-uates,
I just have one thing to say

and it's...
Oh! Oh!

Honey,
your water just broke.

23 skidoo.

I can't believe
we all just drag-uated.

Hey, everybody,
I just realized.

We're never going
to see each other again.

Yes, we are.

We're all going
to the same college.

And you and Nelly

are going to have your own
sitcom on ABC Family.

I want
an ABC Family sitcom, too.

Oh, Mom.

I can't even be mad
at you right now.

Hey, everybody.

The witch is back.

[all] Friends forever.

[cheers and applause]

Oh, my God. You guys
did an amazing job.

But now it's time
for the judges' reviews.

[RuPaul] Welcome, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Farrah Moan.

Peppermint.

Alexis Michelle.

Ladies, you are safe.

You may leave the stage.

Now it's time for
the follica-tease critiques.

First up, Valentina.

[Carson] I happen
to love this look.

I like the way you've also
accessorized it with the gloves,

which is
a really beautiful touch.

-And as Monna Dartin...
-[clears throat]

I mean,
that's my namesake.

I thought you had
a lot of great levels

and you nailed it.

One of the great things
about Tori

was that she always did
a lot of physical comedy,

and I think that
you did the role justice.

-You're perfect.
-Thank you so much.

-Sasha Velour.
-Hi.

You look different
from everybody out here.

And you're on-brand and your
look always has a point of view.

It's so on point.
So on point.

-Literally.
-[all laugh]

And your lunch lady.

I just wanted you
to go further with it.

You weren't letting go
completely.

There were a few zingers
in there that quite didn't land.

I wish I had
just played the comedy

a little bit more
straightforward.

And maybe it didn't need
the Meryl Streep treatment.

-Yeah, well, I mean...
-[all laugh]

-Trinity Taylor.
-You look gorgeous.

You're a follicular
tour de force.

What did you call her?

I gotta jump to Nelly's mom,
because that was amazing.

I thought
you were hilarious.

Your comedy is impeccable.

I want
an ABC Family sitcom, too!

You were stealing scenes,
and it was so right.

Like, I could lick you
right now.

Up next, Nina Bo'nina Brown
Carrington Colby.

I love all this.

The only thing
that's become predictable

is that legging
with a boot and a corset.

So I want to challenge you to
think of a different silhouette.

In 9021-Ho, you weren't
really selling the lines.

I feel like
directing-wise,

we did work with you the most
and we felt nervous.

We felt nervous you were
going to be mad at us.

You know, it was times

where I was like,
they really aren't buying it.

And then, I started
getting into my head,

like, I didn't really
have fun delivering it.

Thank you, Nina.

Shake a leg, Shea Coulee.

So normally when you
come out on this runway

in a bathing suit
and a jacket,

I'm going to read you
to filth.

But you put
so much character in it

that I bought it.

I know that girl.

She's a working girl
in New York City

by the Greyhound terminal.

In your portrayal as Grandrea,
you were so confident.

Your makeup,
your body language,

all of it was perfection.

What a brilliant
character.

-I loved it.
-Thank you, Tori.

Up next, Aja.

Your makeup is blended,

and it just looks
really, really pretty,

and I love this hair on you.

Tonight is quite possibly
the best you've ever looked.

As Ti-How do you say it?

Bethani. Just say
that which we don't speak of.

Yes. We know her as that
which we don't speak of.

You didn't feel grounded
in that.

[Michelle] You were
playing the bitch.

She's a mean girl,
and it felt kind of flat for me.

Now, Aja, you switched
with Shea Coulee.

What frightened you about
playing the older role?

To be honest,
I just kind of...freaked.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

Thank you, ladies.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

All right, now just between
us popular kids,

what do you think?

Valentina.

I thought she did
a really good job

just as an actress
and embodying that part.

She was funny,
she was stumbling around,

getting into
her drunk character.

[Tori] She was in character
the whole time

until she came off camera

to tell us that she used watch
90210 with her babysitter.

Which made us feel real old.

Sasha Velour.

Her performance was
a little underwhelming for me,

like she could have gone
so much further with it.

She could have sassed the
character up a little bit more.

Trinity Taylor.

She played the hell
out of Nelly's mom.

She was fully Jennifer Coolidge
and it was so, so good.

She's the ultimate
scene stealer.

Right down
to her messy lipstick,

she had the character down.

Tonight was a really
strong night for Trinity.

Nina Bo'nina Brown
Ellis Ross.

Her acting, for me,
was a little bit lost.

She alluded to there being
some friction on the set.

What happened?

She was a little bit
defensive.

That's been an ongoing
storyline with her.

We couldn't tell
if she was angry

that we were giving her
direction.

Trust me, she was angry.

Oh, really?
See, I told you.

She's out there keying
your car right now.

Yes, exactly.

Shea Coulee.

I thought she was fantastic
in the acting challenge.

Shea went for it
and then some.

You couldn't help but fall
in love with this character.

But I was so surprised
when she walked out

and she looked
completely different

than she did yesterday.

She slayed the house down.

Aja.

The acting
gave me Aja-ta.

-Oh, dear.
-I think it's interesting

that she threw a fit
about playing the mean girl

because she wasn't really mean
and she wasn't really good.

-She's not even a girl.
-Hello.

She basically handed Shea
a moment to shine.

There was one note, one thing,
hair flip over and over.

Hey, a lot of actresses
have made a big career

on a hair flip
and one-note bitch delivery.

Sure, yeah.

But she's not gonna
be one of them.

Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my drag-uates.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Valentina,
as Monna Dartin the virgin,

you really popped.

Trinity Taylor,

as Nelly's mom,
you had it going on.

Shea Coulee, making us laugh
like you did

will never get old.

Trinity Taylor,
con-drag-ulations.

You're the winner
of this week's challenge.

You've won a $2,000 gift card
from Fabric Planet,

longtime supporters
of the LGBT experience.

Thank you.
Thank you so much.

I'm back on top, girls,
and it feels great.

Valentina, Shea,
you're both safe.

You may join
the other girls.

Aja, your bitch
was botched.

Sasha Velour, your lunch lady
left us hungry.

Nina Bo'nina Brown
Abdul-Jabbar,

your acting was too tame
and I ain't lyin'.

Sasha Velour...

you are safe.

Thank you so much.

[sighs]

Aja, Nina,
I'm sorry, my dears,

but you are up
for elimination.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination.

The time has come...
[thunder]

to lip sync

[echoing] for your life.

Good luck
and don't fuck it up.

[music plays]

♪ Meeting Mr. Right,
the man of my dreams ♪

♪ The one who shows me
true love ♪

♪ Or at least it seems ♪

♪ With brown cocoa skin
and curly black hair ♪

♪ It's just the way
he looks at me ♪

♪ That gentle loving stare ♪

♪ It seems so many times,
you seemed to be the one ♪

♪ But all he ever wanted
was to have a little fun ♪

♪ But now you've come along
and brightened up my world ♪

♪ In my heart I feel it,
I'm that special kind of girl ♪

♪ Oh, no, no, finally ♪

♪ It has happened to me ♪

♪ Right in front
of my face ♪

♪ And I just
cannot hide it ♪

♪ Finally ♪

♪ Oh, finally ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, oh, oh ♪

♪ Finally, finally,
finally, finally ♪

♪ Finally
you've come along ♪

♪ The way I feel about you,
it just can't be wrong ♪

♪ If you only knew
the way I feel about you ♪

♪ I just can't
describe it ♪

♪ Oh, no, no, finally ♪

♪ It has happened to me
right in front of my face ♪

♪ My feelings
can't describe it ♪

♪ Finally it has happened ♪

[cheers and applause]

Ladies,
I've made my decision.

Nina Bo'nina Brown,
shantay, you stay.

Thank you.

You may join
the other girls.

Aja, the way I feel about you,
it just can't be wrong.

Love you, girl.

Thank you so much
for everything.

I've learned a lot
about myself here,

and I really owe it
to you guys.

So thank you so much.

Thank you.

Now sashay away.

[applause]

I learned that this show
is way harder than you think.

I came here,
and I was like I got this.

And then
I was like, okay, okay.

I feel extremely disappointed
that I couldn't go further.

I might be eliminated,
but every dog has its day.

Woof.

Con-drag-ulations,
my queens.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen
up in here?

-Amen!
-Amen!

All right,
now let the music play.

♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

♪ It's your world ♪

♪ Hey, kitty, kitty girl ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪

♪ Yeah, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

♪ It's your world ♪

♪ When you walk the street
steppin' to the beat ♪

♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

♪ Get your crown ♪

♪ In the disco heat ♪

♪ You're the boogie night
rockin' queen ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Kitty kitty,
Hey, here kitty kitty ♪

♪ Hey, kitty kitty, yeah ♪

♪ Ahh, yeah, whoa-oh-oh ♪