RuPaul's Drag Race (2009–…): Season 9, Episode 11 - Gayest Ball Ever - full transcript

[RuPaul] Previously
on RuPaul's Drag Race...

You'll be giving our crew
members

the chance to strut a mile
in your shoes.

[screams and applause]

[Nina] Yeah, I'm having
a hard time here.

Nina wants to sew
two whole outfits from scratch,

and Nina don't know how to sew.

[RuPaul] Trinity Taylor.

This was probably
the tightest presentation.

[RuPaul] Alexis Michelle.

The outfits are kind of real
basic.



[RuPaul] Nina Bo'nina Brown.

[Ross] Even the bunny part
was just sort of half done.

[RuPaul] Shea Coulee.

It felt, like, you know,
there's the star sister

and then there's the other
sister.

Trinity Taylor,

you're the winner
of this week's challenge.

Shea Coulee, shantay you stay.

Nina Bo'nina Brown Andre
Charles,

sashay away.

Oh, my goodness.
[sighs]

Nina is gone.

She did bring a side of drag
that most people don't see.

But I'm relieved.
The negative is gone.



It's time to move on.

"Sue me.

Shea Coulee, hope you struggle
cleaning this."

[all laugh]

But for real, girl,
I still believe in you, bitch,

and I can't wait
to see what you do.

Sorry. I had to grab this
'cause I'm freaking cold.

She might be cold,
but her pussy is on fire

'cause you won, bitch.

-[cheering]
-Congratulations.

Thank you.
What did everybody feel

about their critique?

So help me, God.

Michelle's opinion
means so much to me.

I don't want her to have
to tell me one more time

to step up my look.

It feels like shit.

This is a serious top five,

so I have to make sure
that I am bringing it hard.

So, Shea,

not that I enjoyed
you being in the bottom,

but how's it feel
to finally lip sync?

Whoo!

It really fucking sucks.

If she would have
sent your ass home,

I would have been laughing
all the way, bitch.

Now that we're the top five,
no one is safe.

One mistake and you're home.

Girl, all I gotta say
is free the tuck, honey.

Free the tuck.

Ooh!

[car engine starts]

[RuPaul] The winner of
RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one-year supply of
Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

and a cash prize of $100,000.

With extra special guest judges

super-duper model
Joan Smalls

and Andie MacDowell.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman,
best woman win ♪

[Sasha] Yes, girl. Top five, top
five.

[Shea] Top five.

[Trinity] Bitch, it's the top
five.

I'm ready to slay my way to the
top.

I'm taking this competition
seriously.

[buzzing]

Little bugs are my phobia.

I don't like gnats.
Gnats are the devil.

Is it around me?

Please, kill it, kill it, kill
it.

What was the question?

Hello, hello, hello.

-Hey!
-Oh!

Ladies, for today's mini
challenge,

we're having ourselves
a good old-fashioned bitch fest,

and we're doing it with puppets.

[screams and applause]

Because why?

[All] Everyone loves puppets.

Exactly.

Pick out a puppet

that represents
one of your competitors,

and drag it up.

First up, Shea Coulee.

Reach in, girl.
Don't be scared.

You know, you'd think that hole
would be worn out

after so many years.

[Shea] It's Peppermint.

Next up, Sasha Velour.

[Sasha] [gasps]
It's Trinity.

Trinity Taylor.

Oh!

I have Shea.

[all laugh]

Peppermint.

Alexis.

All right, you're up,
Alexis Michelle.

Here she comes.

[gasps]

[all laugh]

-It's a boy.
-It's a something.

All right,
you've got 20 minutes

to drag up your puppet.

Go!

[screams]

Start with the ass.

I'm gonna fuck you up
with this puppet, Alexis.

I would never wear that color.

Make sure you make it basic.

I feel like mine's very
accurate.

Bitch, that is a hot
motherfucking mess.

Exactly.

[RuPaul] All right, ladies.
Time's up.

From the Today Tix Theater,

let the bitch fest begin.

Hey, girl, you know what?

You've been doing really well
in this competition, Pepper.

How does that make you feel?

Aah!

Oh, what's going on
with the bottom of the outfit?

Girl, you know what they say:

Power top, lazy bottom.

Ow! You do realize
you got a little lace

right here on your wig.

Let me get that--

Oh! Damn, girl!

[all laugh]

I told y'all don't touch my
wigs.

Trinity, where are you?

I'm right here, girl.

I've gotta say,
I've learned a lot about drag

since I've been here.

It isn't just about silicone.

It's also about restylane,
botox,

and this little thing
called hot glue

that I'm just
filling myself up with. Ha!

[all laugh]

Well, Trinity, you are often
talking about sex.

Oh, girl, I like fisting,

glory holes, horse play.

That's where you have sex
with Nina Bo'nina Brown.

[all laugh]

Couch play.
That's where you have sex

with Nina Bo'nina's Brown's
padding.

[all laugh]

Jelly play.

That's where you have sex with
me.

Hey!

[all laugh]

Oh, hi.
How are you, Shea?

Well, you have won
a lot of challenges this season,

but it sure isn't
on that makeup, is it?

Well, you know,

this is how we do it
in Chicago, bitch.

You know, you might want
to check your kitchen, girl,

'cause, you know, you already
been clocked about that once.

What you mean, girl?

I have disco butt.

You don't really have
that much body, do you, honey?

Do you need
to go see my doctor?

No. We do this natural in
Chicago.

Sasha, what is that
over on your hand?

The feathers are the bird
that's flying out of the cage.

I'm being freed.

What's with the crown?

Well, Alexis, I really want to be
America's next drag superstar.

Sasha, don't you think
that's a little literal?

It's not literal, it's felt.

It's meta.

Wow, Sasha,
that is really deep.

And...
scene.

Uncanny.

Alexis Michelle,
you look so fabulous today.

Oh, thank you.

I'm just a
♪ Broadway girl ♪

Okay, Alexis, we got it.

Wait a minute.
I'll be right back.

Don't take too long,

'cause you know it's showtime.

Alexis, what are you doing
down there?

♪ And I'm from Broadway ♪

Why you fucking
look so green, girl?

[deep voice]
I'm not doping, bitch.

[laughs]

You shady ladies
all did real good.

[all laugh]

The winner is...

Sasha Velour.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

You've won a $500 gift card
from Today Tix ,

the last-minute theater ticket
app.

Trinity's ass floats to the top
again.

All right, ladies, it's time
to celebrate our queer culture

like only you queens can.

For this week's maxi challenge,
we're throwing a ball.

But not just any old ball.

We're throwing
the gayest ball ever!

-Yeah.
-Ow!

#GayestBallEver

You'll need to work
three different looks,

each one more gay-tastic
than the last.

First category is
Rainbow-She-Betta-Do.

We want to see a flaming look
inspired by the rainbow flag.

Second category is
Sexy Unicorn.

-Yes!
-Ooh.

Hooves and horns and queens.
Oh, my!

[all laugh]

Third category is

Village People
Eleganza Extravaganza.

-Oh.
-Shit.

Each of you
needs to create a look

inspired by the legendary group
the Village People.

That's cowboy, cop,

Native American,
construction worker,

and leather biker couture.

Rrr, rrr.

So I'm gonna head over
to the YMCA

and let you guys pick your own
Village Person inspiration.

Start your engines,
and may the best woman win.

[laugh]

[Peppermint] We all agreed
to be very diplomatic

with the selection
of the Village People look.

I end up choosing
the leather biker look

because it's all black,

and everybody looks good
in all black.

Aah!

Police brutality.
Hits too close to home.

I chose the cop look.

[Trinity] I'm trying to, like,
let loose a little bit,

be a little bit more edgy.

So, Peppermint,
what are you making?

I'm just trying to go for a very
hyper-feminized version

of the leather daddy/mommy.

Pepper, are you going
for like a fetishy look?

I don't really have
much experience

with the leather community.

I'm more like
the pleather community.

[all laugh]

Peppermint
has a great personality.

She has a great personality.

But her looks,
they're just not polished,

so that could be her downfall.

[Trinity] For today's maxi
challenge,

we're getting ready
for the gayest ball ever.

I'm gonna shit glitter.

[Alexis] I chose the Native
American.

I want to give something
that will feel a little bit tribal,

but also ready to wear.

What I need to use is an
editing eye in this challenge

to make sure
that it feels fresh.

This is my chance to say, like,

I'm not basic, I have taste.

[Shea] Alexis needs to push
her aesthetic further.

She needs to modernize it.

I feel like
I could go to New York

and throw a stone
and hit five other queens

that can do exactly
what she does.

Hi-ee.

-Hi.
-Hello.

I'm here. I'm queer.

Get used to it.

[cheers and laughter]

-Hey, Sasha.
-Hi, RuPaul.

Now, you chose the cowboy?

Yeah, the cowboy seems
like a winning choice to me,

and this fabric is incredible.

But constructing
is not my strongest suit,

so I have to be
very, very clever.

Yeah. What do you think
is gonna be your trump card?

Oh, did I say fucking Trump?

Not today.

Not on the day.

Not today.

What do you think is gonna be
your winning ticket?

I can always count on my smarts
to push me over the edge.

So how are you going to
reinterpret the rainbow flag?

Well, it really is
quite a challenge,

because I'm breaking it apart.

I'm deconstructing
the rainbow--

God, that sounds
overly intellectual,

but I promise I have
an interesting trick

up my sleeve
that I'm excited to pull out.

Sasha is really, really, deep

and puts a lot of thought
into her drag,

and that's both an advantage,

but it's also
kind of a disadvantage.

'Cause if nobody knows
what the hell is going on,

what difference
does it make anyway?

Whoo.

Alexis Michelle.

Hi, RuPaul.

Now, which character in
the Village People are you--

Wait. Let me put my earring on.

Maybe you'll have
some sense of what I'm doing.

Am I the cop?

I think you're
the Native American.

I'm the Native American.

And why'd you choose that one?

I saw this bowl

of these beautiful
turquoise embellishments,

and they spoke to me
immediately,

and I said, you know what?

Build the look around these.

Uh-huh.

Now, last week,
the judges had some critiques

about your aesthetic.

-Yes.
-How'd that make you feel?

You know, it hurt, actually.

I did sew my bodysuit
and leotard.

They weren't Halloween costumes
I bought in a store.

It was just that the outfit you created
wasn't two steps beyond.

I think I'm on
the right track this time,

and it's time to be that Phoenix

and rise up out of those ashes.

Good, because, you know,
we're down to the wire here.

This is it.

I've chosen something
very ambitious,

with the amount of stoning
that I intend to do to this bodice.

Now is the time
I've really got to show

that I belong here visually.

-Hi, Shea.
-Hey, Ru.

I see lots of
construction worker stuff here.

Why'd you choose
the construction worker?

I'm a really big fan
of British fashion,

you know, Vivienne Westwood,
Burberry.

and so I want to do,
like, an interesting

kind of like patchwork big skirt

that has, like, a lot of, like,
punk unfinished edges,

but still really polished
and fashion forward.

Oh, my goodness.
That's a tall order.

Now, Shea, last week

you wound up in the bottom two
for the first time.

Did that shake you up?

Oh, girl, it shook me up.

It shook me down.
It shook me all around.

This challenge will determine
the final four,

so this is big time.

This is no joke.

Yeah, no.

My performance
in last week's challenge

was just a one-time deal.

Ain't no slip-ups
from here on out.

All right, ladykins,
gather round.

Now, tomorrow, in addition
to your three ball looks,

I want you to perform
an opening number

that pays tribute to
the gayest Olympic sport ever...

rhythmic gymnastics.

[cheers and laughter]

[cheers and screams]

And that's how
you get the gold medal

-here at Drag Race .
-[cheering]

Now, Sasha Velour,
you won the bitch fest,

so you're in charge
of the choreography.

Okay. [laughs]

So good luck,
and don't fuck it up.

[cheers and laughter]

[Sasha] Whoo!
[laughs]

[Peppermint] Now it's time
for us to rehearse

our rhythmic gymnastics
routine.

All right, ladies,
let's get to work.

I still don't even know
what rhythmic gymnastics is,

but I'm gonna find out.

One thing that I loved
that I saw the Olympians do

is, like, they hold out these
things

so we can have
that pull-apart moment.

Yes. So...

One, two, three, four.

Five, six, seven, eight.

[Peppermint] Oh, whoa, whoa,
whoa.

[Sasha] This is ridiculous.

Okay, okay,
let's focus, let's focus.

One, two, three--

No, wait, Trinity.

One, two, three, four--

Ow!

[Sasha] Oh, my God.
Are you all right?

Oh, my God.

-Is it red?
-No, not yet.

Bitches getting their ribbons
tied in knots,

getting slapped in the face.

It's actually
not as easy as it looks.

[Shea] Okay, okay,
so going from the beginning,

I come up on three,
and then all together

we do something
on four, right?

Yeah.
And for the next section,

can we do
five, six, seven, eight?

[Shea] No. What if
the first time--okay.

So what if the first time
we put Alexis in the middle?

Sasha's certainly not
delivering.

This rehearsal
feels kind of unfocused.

I grew up in the theater.

I know what it means
to stage a musical number,

so I have a perspective

that could help
the team out here.

Can I make a suggestion, ladies?

What do you think about
storm the judges,

give good face?

I'd rather not
let it down, actually.

I think it'll be sloppy
picking it up.

I want to keep it
as simple as possible.

Are you guys all comfortable
with, like, a battement?

So if we were like...

♪ Let it rise with attitude ♪

[Sasha] Okay.
[Alexis] Shea and Sasha

think that their ideas
are the best.

My point of view is just
pushed aside as second-rate.

May I suggest that we do
figure eights in place

for one, two, three--

Well, that's gonna change
how we get off.

Well, maybe
if we just move faster.

[all talking]

I don't want to move any faster.

I do like adding the movement.

All right, you guys.
We need to just decide.

There's too many chiefs
and not enough Indians.

Crack the whip.

I have been trying.

Sasha's too nice,

'cause I would have
bitched-slapped somebody.

Wham!
And then twirled my ribbon.

And back to work.

[Trinity] Motherfucker.

How's everybody's look
coming along?

-It's horrible!
-[laughs]

I am fucking terrified.

Sasha's rainbow runway look,
it's very pedestrian.

I'm doing the most
time-consuming part right now.

It's going to be, like,
a patchwork on, like, flannel.

So you're making a costume
for Adore Delano?

-Ooh.
-[laughs]

I didn't know she was
part of the Village People,

but okay.

Well, no, she wasn't
a part of the Village People,

but she was top three,
unlike you.

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.

[Trinity] I'm just not impressed
by Shea.

Cut-off shorts
and a wife beater? Really?

Does it look like
a construction worker?

Bitch, no.

So how do you feel
about the routine, Sasha?

I feel, um...

I feel good about it.

These are very fun to watch,

these spinning ribbons.

If you're a kitty.

Even if you're not.

I'm glad it wasn't
any longer than it was.

[Shea] Wait let me get
my sunglasses,

'cause it's getting hella
shady up in here.

Honestly--

Uh-oh.
Get ready, girl.

I think that the dance element
is not your comfort zone,

and I saw your insecurity
around that,

and it came out a little bit
in your behavior.

I don't think that I was insecure
in the rehearsal at all.

To be honest,
I was not being listened to.

I don't think you stood up
as a leader, though.

In my opinion, she was
trying to steer the ship,

and all of us were just,
like, blah-blah-blah.

I did not feel you
steering the ship.

It's clear that my strategy
did not work for you, Miss Alexis.

Frankly, I also feel like you
sort of explicitly trust Shea

and Shea's vision
more than other folks.

Actually, no.
I felt like Shea

was stepping on my toes
a little bit.

I was honesty just sharing
my ideas, you know.

You definitely just, like, straight up
talked over me a bunch of times,

and it was very challenging.

It's going to be a tough battle
to get to the top four.

I see the claws come out.

Rreer! Pfft, pfft.

It ain't RuPaul's
Best Friend Race no more.

Aah!

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Covergirl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe,
let your whole body talk ♪

And what?

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Trapped in the body
of a straight girl,

it's my gay best friend
Michelle Visage.

Let me out.
Let me out.

Oh, honey,
you've been out for a while.

[all laugh]

A man who's no stranger
to balls,

style superstar
Carson Kressley.

I love a good ball.
Two's even better.

[laughs]

And super-duper model
Joan Smalls.

Welcome to my runway.

Thank you for having me.
I'm super excited.

You look gorgeous.

Trying to keep up with you.

[deep voice]
Oh, you gonna need

a few years for that, son.

That was my Lady Bunny
impersonation.

And the beautiful
Andie MacDowell.

You ready for some sex,
lives and tucking tape?

Oh, baby, am I.

We're so glad
you're here tonight.

This week,
we challenged our queens

to turn out three
gag-worthy looks

for the gayest ball ever.

But first, to get this ball rolling,
category is

Rhythmic Gymnastics
A-Go-Go.

[laughs]

Gentlemen, start your engines

and may the best woman win.

Representing the U.S. of Gay,

it's the RuPaul
Rhythmic Gymnastics team.

♪ Give your all ♪

♪ So what if you fall? ♪

♪ Legends rise with attitude ♪

♪ If you give your all ♪

♪ So what if you fall? ♪

♪ Legends rise with attitude ♪

♪ Storm the judges,
give them face ♪

♪ Posture, doll,
hand on the waist ♪

♪ A diva knows her obstacles ♪

♪ Sell it back,
but don't stop the show ♪

♪ Get your ass on up ♪

♪ Give your all ♪

♪ So what if you fall? ♪

♪ Legends rise with attitude ♪

[laughter and applause]

Hit the showers, girls.

[applause]

I think my girls are doping.

[gasps]

♪ Can you feel the love? ♪

Let's get this ball rolling.

Category is
Rainbow-She-Betta-Do.

First up, Shea Coulee.

[Michelle] Graffiti Nefertiti.

[Shea] I decided to go in a little bit
of a different direction

and do a dress that is
graffiti,

and I'm just feeling
this look so much.

-[RuPaul] Tag, you're it.
-[Michelle laughs]

[RuPaul] Sasha Velour.

[Carson] Oh, gorgeous.

[Joan] Color-blocking
perfection.

[Sasha] I'm giving a little nod
to "The Wizard of Oz"

and the importance of Dorothy
to the gay community.

Oh.

[Michelle] Honey, I am home.

[RuPaul] Careful, before someone
drops a house on you.

[Michelle laughs]

[Michelle] I'm filing for
"section great."

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Alexis Michelle.

[Joan] Rainbow Brite.

[Carson] Yes.

[Alexis] This look is literal
Pride flag .

Bright, loud, colorful,
stripey.

[RuPaul] Taste the rainbow.
[Carson] Mmm.

[RuPaul] Trinity Taylor.

[Carson] That gives whole new
meaning to strap-on.

[Trinity] I'm giving you gay rainbow
with a dash of dark lady.

[Carson] I wonder what's at the
end of her rainbow.

[Andie] I just want her ass.
[RuPaul] Uh-huh.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Peppermint.

[Michelle] Ooh, I wonder if her rug
matches her drapes.

[all laugh]

[Peppermint] My look is a
classic Pride look.

I'm a classic beauty
with a classic booty,

and I'm working it
like there is no other.

[Carson] This look brought to you
by Skittles.

Category is Sexy Unicorn.

Shea Coulee.

She's the black horse
of this competition.

[Michelle] 50 Shades of Shea.

[Shea] I'm giving you
dark and lovely stallion.

You can just call me
Neigh Coulee.

-Spank it.
-Oh.

Does she make you unicorn-y?

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Sasha Velour.

[Carson] Oh.

[Michelle] It's the Chronicles
of Drag-nia.

[Andie] Lord of the Hooves.
[Michelle] Yes.

[Sasha] When I think of a unicorn,
I think of medieval tapestry,

and I'm just selling
that fantasy beast.

[Carson] The tip of her horn
is bleeding.

I think this is
a period costume.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Alexis Michelle.

Now, she's a real hoofer.

[Alexis] I am a glittery, gold
unicorn.

Look at these hooves.

You know what they say
about big hooves, don't you?

[RuPaul] Now, that's what I call
a fairytale.

[Carson] She's really feeling
her oats.

[RuPaul] Trinity Taylor.

[Michelle] She's got so much energy,
it's like Lisa Crank.

[all laugh]

[Trinity] It's every little gay boy's
pony fantasy:

bubblegum, cotton candy,
My Little Pony, and I live.

[RuPaul] Yeah, shake
those tail feathers.

Peppermint.

[Michelle] Horn-raiser.

[Peppermint] My sexy unicorn
is a space unicorn.

I start to realize
that my garment

is a little baggy
in some places,

so I have to kind of move
very strategically.

Unicorn? I don't remember
eating unicorn.

[Michelle laughs]

Category is Village People
Eleganza Extravaganza.

Serving construction worker
couture, Shea Coulee.

You better construction work.

[Shea] I deconstructed
a whole bunch of flannel shirts

to make a cape.

I got my hair wrapped up
in a turban

'cause you do not want
them edges to sweat out.

I am feeling invincible.

[RuPaul] Nailed it.
-[all laugh]

Serving cowboy couture,
Sasha Velour.

[Carson] Putting the "ho"
back in calico.

[Sasha] I have this beautifully tailored
red bandana outfit.

This, to me, is everything
I love about fashion.

[RuPaul] Your country breakfast
is ready.

Serving Native American couture,
Alexis Michelle.

[Michelle] Hey, Alexis, how's
your head?

[Alexis] I'm so thrilled with
how this bodice turned out.

I feel current, chic,
and I look like a million dollars.

[Michelle] Well, somebody's
gonna need an aspirin.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Serving cop couture,
Trinity Taylor.

[Carson] I like this because
it goes from daytime to welding

in one simple
tilt of the head.

[Trinity] I'm feeling strong and
sexy.

I'm the bad cop that's coming
for all the naughty boys.

Spread 'em.

[RuPaul] Yeah, she is armed and
fabulous.

Serving leather biker couture,
Peppermint.

Her safe word is
"wintergreen."

[all laugh]

[Pepperming] I am all decked out
in leather,

and, honey, I'm gonna
make them all my slaves.

You better call me Master.

Wha-tch!

I think you got a date
later on, honey.

Welcome, ladies.

It's time for the judges'
critiques,

starting with Shea Coulee.

Your rainbow
was not rainbow at all,

but it was so stunning.

I just felt coming out
in rainbow stripes

would have been predictable.

Right, but there wasn't

one color of the rainbow
in there. Not one.

This particular look
that you're wearing right now,

I think it's great.

I love the details.

But for me,
the crowning glory

is that patchwork
flannel shirt/cape combo.

It's like, a street style
model off-duty meets couture,

and I would totally wear that,

so I hope
we share the same size.

Can we see that jacket?

Can you spin around for us?

Wow.

[Carson] Riveting.
[RuPaul] Yes.

No, that's what
she was doing earlier.

-[all laugh]
-Thank you, Shea.

Thank you.

Up next, Sasha Velour.

Let's start with
your rhythmic gymnastics.

You had this psychotic
Dorothy Hamill feel to you.

You had this plastered
weird smile on your face.

It was really well done.

I'm a little bit in love with
you in general, I have to say.

There's something extremely
modern about your style.

[Carson] This cowboy look,
the details here are so great.

-Super chic.
-Your unicorn.

It was executed flawlessly.

And your rainbow look,
I loved when you removed the hat

and you gave us
Little House On The Fairy.

That was amazing.

Up next, Alexis Michelle.

The gold unicorn,
I really liked it.

There was something
very childlike about it.

For the rainbow,
I feel it was too literal.

If they give you a theme,

you should be able
to take me there, you know.

And I felt like it needed
a little bit more of a oomph.

And you look incredibly
beautiful,

but I feel if we take
the bow out of your head,

I can get that outfit at
Ricky's.

It's a little bit lackluster.

I would love to see this
taken way over the top.

These two,
they're taking an idea

and giving it a real twist

and just going balls deep,
if you will.

This is the final five,

and there's so much more
that could have been done.

I nearly went blind
stoning this thing.

Got it.

Still underwhelming.

Okay.

Up next, Trinity Taylor.

The rainbow look.
Does it look good? Yeah.

Is it the best you could do?
No.

This is more like
bar Trinity back at home.

Let's talk about
this runway look tonight.

I think this is so chic
and so glamorous,

and all of those little badges
and pins are phenomenal.

The hair, the makeup, the visor,
it's really cool.

It's tough.

At the same time,
it's feminine.

The ass looks amazing.
[laughs]

I need to take myself
to the gym after this.

No, just the doctor.

[all laugh]

Up next, Peppermint.

Your unicorn, that was fun,

but there was
a little bagginess going on

in the crotch-al area.

The rainbow I really loved

because it was kind of French
diva.

I had an instant flash
of being in Paris,

and I wanted to meet you
in the park at night.

[all laugh]

[Michelle] What did you do in
France, Andie?

In Paris.

Just call me anytime
you're going to parties, okay?

And then, this look, you know,
the silhouette is great.

I love all the details.

As soon as you came out
the runway, like, you owned it.

And I felt like
you were gonna beat me up,

but I loved it at the same time.

It was, like,
I just loved the whole idea.

Thank you.

Ladies, at this crucial point
in the competition,

I have to ask, who deserves
to go home tonight and why?

Let's start with Shea Coulee.

I would have to say Alexis
Michelle.

[RuPaul] Sasha Velour.

Alexis did really struggle.

I would have to say Alexis as
well.

Very interesting that
they're not supportive

of my look right now
in front of the judges,

considering they had
nothing to say to me

about it in the workroom.

Fucking shady whores.

All right.
Alexis Michelle.

Frankly,
I'd have to say Peppermint.

She has a one-in-a-million
personality,

and I think that she's able
to sell looks

that aren't always finished.

Trinity Taylor,
same question.

A huge pet peeve of mine
is not paying attention to details,

so I would have to say
Peppermint.

All right, Peppermint.
Your turn.

Probably because
she is my biggest competition,

Trinity Taylor.

Well, thank you, ladies.

I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,

the judges and I will
deliberate.

All right. So just between
us squirrel friends,

what do you think?
Let's start with Shea Coulee.

Overall,
I love everything she did.

The unicorn was very powerful.

[Carson] Construction couture,
amazing.

One of my favorites.

Her rainbow look did not read
rainbow to me whatsoever.

I could see in the movie
Paris Is Burning,

people would be on the floor
shouting,

"It is not a rainbow dress!"

I get what everyone is saying,

but the fact that she included
makeup on her body,

it was like an artwork.

Shea Coulee
came here to compete,

and she knows how to do it.

Sasha Velour.

I love Sasha because
I think she's original.

She gave us rainbow
in a really different way,

and the unicorn look
stood out from the herd.

[all laugh]

I just think she's chic as fuck.

Her cowboy look
was absolutely beautiful,

but it was more fashion
than it was drag.

Yeah, I come
to RuPaul's Drag Race

not just to see a look
that I'm going to go to Paris

and I can see that
down a runway.

Like, I just needed
to be taken to that dream,

that fantasy land.

You know, I'm torn,

because everything Sasha did
was absolutely fantastic.

But is it gag-worthy for a ball?

We're looking for
the Harlem children

to be saying, you are over.

You are over.
Miss Thing, you are over.

Alexis Michelle.

Her rhythmic gymnastics thing,

she just had so much
enthusiasm for it

and she gave us like
Mary Lou Retton 1986 realness.

Every time she came out
on the stage,

I was just so captivated
by her beauty.

But everything else
kind of like fell through.

To me, that Native American
fell completely short.

So many things
she could have done

to make it so much better
and so much draggier.

And it looked like a shake-and-go
that she had on tonight.

The look was
a little bit pedestrian.

Again, we have to look at this
as this is the top five

and this is when you bring
the best that you have.

Yes.

[RuPaul] Trinity Taylor.

The rainbow look,
that was a real miss for me.

We need wow factor.

I want that look to be an event,

and that was like an appetizer.

And the unicorn,
it wasn't my favorite,

but I still thought
it was a lot of fun.

Even though her unicorn
wasn't that special,

she sold the fuck
out of that thing.

[Michelle] Yeah, she did.

Her final look, however,
was so fantastic.

Everything about it,
from the hair

down to the bottom
just worked for me.

Pep, Pep, Pep.
What's up, Peppermint?

I don't think
she was a stand-out

in the rhythmic gymnastics
number.

I didn't notice if she did
a great job or a bad job.

I just didn't notice.
That's a problem.

Her unicorn was definitely
out of her comfort zone.

She had a Hellraiser thing
going on with her head,

and the idea
was very forward-thinking.

But it kind of was ruined

because the pieces
didn't fit properly.

But the last look,
I felt like she owned it

and it was so intimidating
and just empowering.

And I love the way she commanded
the runway with it.

She was connecting
with all of us.

You could tell
that she was living.

Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my Village People.

[laughs]

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Sasha Velour, your three
fashion looks really roped us in.

Shea Coulee, your three ball
looks gagged the judges.

Shea Coulee,
con-drag-ulations.

You're the winner
of this week's challenge.

[applause]

You've won two VIP tickets

to Cirque du Soleil's
sexy adult cabaret Zumanity,

including airfare and deluxe
Las Vegas accommodations.

Yes!

Being in the top four
feels so good.

I am feeling invincible.

Sasha Velour, you're safe.

Thank you.

You may step
to the back of the stage.

Alexis Michelle,
your Native American couture

left the judges with
reservations.

I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.

I'm pretty angry being placed
in the bottom for this week.

Frankly, I think what
I'm wearing is more fashion

than what Trinity
and Peppermint are wearing.

Trinity Taylor,
your cop rocked,

but your other looks
weren't as arresting.

Peppermint,
your leather queen dominated,

but your unicorn and rainbow

were a little light in the
loafers.

Peppermint, I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.

Trinity Taylor, you're safe.

You may join the other girls.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination.

The time has come...
[thunder]

to lip sync

[echoing] for your life.

Good luck,
and don't fuck it up.

[music plays]

♪ Body, body,
wanna feel my body? ♪

♪ Wanna feel my body, baby? ♪

♪ Such a thrill my body ♪

♪ Such a thrill my body ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Talking about my body, well ♪

Listen here.

♪ Every man wants to be
a macho, macho man ♪

♪ To have the kind of body
always in demand ♪

♪ You can best believe
that he's a macho man ♪

♪ Ready to get down
with anyone he can ♪

Hey! Hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

♪ Macho, macho man ♪

♪ Macho man, yeah ♪

♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪

♪ I've got to be
a macho, macho man ♪

♪ Hey, hey,
I've got to be a macho ♪

Whoo!

Oh! Oh!

[all laugh]

Girl!

-♪ Body ♪
-♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You'll adore ♪

♪ You'll adore my body, baby ♪

♪ Come explore ♪

♪ Come explore my body ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Made by God, my body, baby ♪

-♪ It's so good, my body ♪
-Hey!

♪ You can tell a macho,
he has a funky walk ♪

♪ His western shirts and
leather ♪

♪ Always look so boss ♪

♪ Funky with his body,
he's a king ♪

♪ Call him Mister Ego,
dig his chains ♪

Hey! Hey!

Hey, hey, hey!

♪ Macho, macho man ♪

♪ Macho man, yeah ♪

♪ I've got to be a macho man ♪

♪ I've got to be
a macho, macho man ♪

♪ Macho, macho man ♪

♪ I've got to be a macho ♪

[cheers and applause]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Peppermint,
shantay, you stay.

You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

Alexis Michelle,
to misquote Liza Minnelli,

if you can make it here,
you can make it anywhere.

[sobbing]
Thank you so much.

Now sashay away.

Thank you.

[applause]

Dream big, my girls.

I'm not really surprised.

It just wasn't my day.

I know it looks like I'm super
sad,

and the truth is I am.

I mean, it's hard to go home
right before the end.

But I think
what I'm really feeling

is this was something
I wanted for so, so long

and I'm finally here.

I've learned that
I have what it takes.

Let this statue
be the first of many.

You like me.

You really like me.

Well, look at you,
my fab four.

Con-drag-ulations.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell are you
gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

-Amen!
-Amen!

Now let the music play.

♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

♪ It's your world ♪

♪ Hey, kitty, kitty girl ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪

♪ Yeah, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

♪ It's your world ♪

♪ When you walk the street
steppin' to the beat ♪

♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

♪ Get your crown ♪

♪ In the disco heat ♪

♪ You're the boogie body
rockin' queen ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Kitty kitty,
Hey, here kitty kitty ♪

♪ Hey, kitty kitty, yeah ♪

♪ Ahh, yeah, whoa-oh-oh ♪