RuPaul's Drag Race (2009–…): Season 0, Episode 0 - Moulin Ru: The Rusical - full transcript

Previously
on RuPaul's Drag Race...

Based on your Snatch Game
performances,

you are all up for elimination.

So tonight, we're throwing
a Lip Sync Lalaparuza Smackdown,

a series of six lip syncs.

If you win your lip sync,

you will be safe
from elimination.

Daya Betty.
Willow Pill.

Jorgeous.
Lady Camden.

Angeria.

Shantay you stay.



If you lose,
you'll continue to face off

until two queens remain.

Bosco, Jasmine,
I've made my decision.

Bosco, shantay you stay.

Thank you.

Jasmine, sashay away.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

and a grand prize of $100.000,
powered by Cash App.

With extra-special guest judge
Andra Day.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best drag queen win ♪



♪ Best drag queen win ♪

Ooh.

Oh, my God!

I am exhausted,

but I am so happy

that I made it through
the Lalaparuza,

because that was a lot.

I just knew Jasmine's message
was gonna be long as shit.

Hell, yeah.

Miss Jasmine somehow manages

to continue talking to us
from beyond the grave.

"Dear ladies, I'm so happy

to have found new sisters
and all y'all."

I don't know if there's
even, like, enough cleaner

to get this shit off the mirror.

"Hope y'all the best."

It just makes me love her more.

Angie, DeJa, Jorgeous,

"go all the way,
my forever sisters.

Love, Jasmine Kennedie."

Aw!

Angie, DeJa, Jorgeous,
you better go all the way.

I'd be more offended
if you were here saying it,

but you're gone,

so I guess I can't be
that offended.

They really made both of us
do three lip syncs.

And she'd already
been at, what, three?

So she's the most
lip-synced diva of all time.

In Drag Race history, yep.

Werk.

But when it comes
to a competition

between, like, being a giant ho,
you're not gonna beat me.

Toodles!

I may have had to lip sync

the most times last week,

but I don't think
that is indicative

of me being a lesser performer
than the other girls.

I still have the most wins
tied with Angie,

and if anything,
being at the bottom

just gives me residual anger

that I'm just, like,
using to fuel me.

Was there anything that you guys
truly took away from it

except for I will never
wanna do Snatch Game again?

I think I learned that Ru
wants to see more of you

than the person
you're trying to be.

Yeah.

I didn't learn shit.

Ooh, girl!

She done already
done had herses!

What's next?

Hey, showgirls.

- Hello!
- Hi!

I see Paris, I see France,

I see queens who sing and dance.

But the greatest thing
you'll ever learnt

is just to keep
your can-can turnt.

Aah!

Are we going to Paris?

Hello, hello, hello!

Hi, pussy bow!

Everybody say l'amour!

- L'amour!
- L'amour!

For this week's maxi-challenge,

you need to take us
to gay Paree!

- Yes!
- Whoo!

As you star

in the most romantic
Rusical of all time:

Moulin Ru!

Inspired by Moulin Rouge!
The Musical on Broadway.

Yay! I'm really excited
for a Rusical challenge.

Rusicals are my favorite
challenges to watch.

This is gonna be an opportunity

to show the judges
that ♪ she's a performer ♪

Set in an iconic
Paris drag club,

the Rusical features
several many iconic roles.

Ooh.

There's Saltine,
the tragic showgirl

torn between love and money.

There's Mama Z, a bearded queen
and the owner of the Moulin Ru.

There's the Green Fairy.

Think of her as a genie
in a bottle...

- of absinthe.
- Oh, okay.

And last but not least,

there are four scene-stealing
Moulin Ru girls:

Charisma, Uniqueness,
Nerve, and Talent.

Yes!

Now, I'll let you decide
who plays which part.

Oh, my God, here we go.

I don't know
how this is gonna go,

but I know that I better get
the fucking part I want.

That's all I know.

Now, later today you'll rehearse

with Moulin Ru composer Leland.

- Oh!
- Oh!

Choreographer Miguel Zarate.

Plus a mystery guest director.

Then tomorrow, you will debut
Moulin Ru on the main stage.

All right.

So don't, pardon my French,
fuck it up.

Okay!

Oh, yeah, I speak French.

I am ecstatic.

This feels like
it very much aligns

with who Bosco is
as a performer,

and I have the opportunity
to really blow their socks off

with the next week.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

What are we doing?

Oh!

I feel like this time around,

choosing roles is gonna be
a little more difficult.

- Let's listen.
- Let's listen to this.

Because we're getting to
the point of the competition

where the judges
have to notice you.

Ooh!

I would love to do this one.

I really want the Talent role,

because, girl,
show-stopping, very Xtina vibes,

and that's very me,
because, girl, show-stopping.

Oh, I think I want this one.

- That was hot.
- Ahh.

The salty Saltine!

So cute!

Yeah.

The role of Saltine
is the lead role.

She is a cabaret burlesque
courtesan superstar.

That is Bosco.

I know what I've got my eye on.

I have my heart set
on getting Saltine.

After the feedback from Michelle

about being quiet
and softly spoken...

Your softness and your shyness

will affect you
in this competition.

I feel like this is kind of
the opportunity to do it in.

I know what I want.

I know who I wanna be.

I want Uniqueness, period.

I think I've established
that compromise is for losers.

I was the winner
of last week's challenge,

and the last sixties challenge,

I gave up whatever the fuck
I wanted to you guys, correct?

Correct.

Let me have Nerve.

Does anyone want Nerve?

Perf!

Kudos to Miss DeJa,

but I don't think
winning Snatch Game

is a good reason to decide
that you could have a role.

But, like, I didn't want
that role, so werk.

I like Talent and Green Fairy.

I like Green Fairy
because I feel like

if you think of a little
green absinthe fairy, it's me.

I do think of Willow.

And I really wanna have
that moment.

Willow can have the Green Fairy.
That's fine.

But I got my foot
on this Talent role.

I want Talent because, bitch,
I think I am show-stopping,

and I definitely showed that
in the last lip sync.

And I've been the team player
for almost all the challenges,

and now I'm putting
my fucking foot down.

I mean, there's been a lot of us

who's just been very
courteous of other people

this entire competition, so it's
about right here and right now.

Does anyone want Charisma?

I don't think anyone's
spoken on Charisma yet.

It's the gold digger
who likes sugar daddies.

No, that role
would not be good for me,

and it does not
fit me whatsoever.

Girl.

You know what? I'm gonna
go ahead and call Charisma.

I am an entertainer,

and Angie's gonna do
what Angie does, so...

This is frustrating.

I don't wanna get lost
in the crowd in this number,

but somebody had to eat
the boo-boo in this moment.

I want Saltine.

I also want Saltine.

It feels like very much my vibe.

I embody Saltine, and I am also
putting my foot down for her.

Okay, yes, there is
a sexiness to it,

but I feel like I showed
the other side of Saltine,

which is the romance
and the love story.

And I feel like I've proved that
to the judges

as I beat you in the lip sync.

That is a good point.

Do you think you would have
beaten me in Swept Away?

Yes, I do.

Mm, that's a bold opinion.

Yeah.

It's okay to be wrong sometimes.

I know that she wants me
to be knocked down a peg

so that I will crumble
and then give her the part,

and that's not happening.

So right now
we don't have anybody

- looking at Mama Z.
- For Mama Z, yeah.

I mean, I think it's only fair
that one of you takes Mama Z,

if you're both so set
on getting Saltine.

Saltine has loads of lines,

and I feel like I'm gonna
have no problem with that.

You sure aren't, because
you're not gonna have them.

We'll just have
to watch and see.

What the fuck, Bosco?
Like, it's rude, honestly.

Lady Camden is more versatile
to pull off Saltine or Mama Z.

I don't know if I could
make Mama Z work.

Telling me I could do both,

I just don't feel
like that's fair,

to, like, sway me that way,
you know?

I'm getting the role
of fucking Saltine,

and they're gonna have to drag
my goddamn body out of here

before I leave without it.

We're literally
just wasting time, guys.

Yeah.

Since neither of us are budging,

so I feel like we're gonna
have to flip a coin for it.

- Yeah.
- Mm.

I would like to see
what the room thinks,

if we could do a vote.

Okay.

And see what people
would say for a role.

Or you could close your eyes,
put your hand up...

No, I wanna know.

I don't feel like
a vote is fair.

It's not up to the other queens
to cast this.

I'll go first.

Saltine, I'm seeing Bosco,

because it's something
about Mama Z

that I really think
you would really do well.

I'll keep tally.

Jorgeous?

Um, I would totally see
Lady Camden.

One for one, ladies.

I think Camden is Saltine.

Okay.

Willow.

I don't know.

I can tell you what I think,
and then you...

What do you think?

I think Bosco, so that ties it.

Oh, fuck you, bitch.

I mean, based off of watching
lip syncs yesterday,

I would have to say Camden.

But Bosco served a lot of sex.

So your final answer?

So suddenly
it's all on my shoulders

who gets this role.

Oh, my God, one of you
is gonna hate me.

You're the RuPaul,
so what's the tea, girl?

I don't want
that responsibility,

because somehow they're gonna
blame it on me if they fail.

So your final answer?

Willow?

Okay, I see them equally
for Saltine,

but for Mama Z,
I do see Camden more.

So your answer is Bosco
for Saltine?

And so my answer would be
Bosco for Saltine.

Ugh, I hate this so much.

I really think I only said Bosco

because I knew Bosco
would take it harder

if she didn't get the role.

So Bosco's Saltine,
final answer?

I don't want to fuck you over,

but at the same time,
I'm standing my ground,

and I got the majority vote.

You know what?

Fuck all y'all.

You better fucking
turn that shit out,

and if you don't,
I'm gonna be pissed,

because I wanted that part.

That was my opportunity to
stand my ground and be strong,

but I just feel really
disappointed in myself

that I let myself
get pushed over.

You can Venmo me $5.000.

What?

Guys, I don't want
none of this energy

going through
into the rehearsal.

Like, because
it will fuck us up.

Like, I personally would like
to take a quick moment away.

That was intense.

I don't take pleasure in, like,
standing in my friend's way,

but my priority
in this competition is me.

It's all your fault.

I'm just kidding.

No one is gonna put this on me.

Camden looks pissed.

It's like when
you get in a fight

with your brother or sister

and then you just, like,
go into the other room.

Camden is, like,
I'm going into my corner,

nobody fucking touch me,

and I'll let you all know
when I'm gonna come out.

I really don't like
doing what I just did,

because by nature, I'm a very
accommodating and chill person.

Oh, I'm gonna have to do
some fucking damage control

with Lady after this.

She'll be fine.

You gotta do what you gotta
to get through the competition.

That's what I've been saying
the whole fucking time,

and people were thinking
I was being a bitch about it.

But that's why I said it
from the beginning.

So do what you gotta fucking do.

I take a moment,

sit with the unpleasantness
of fighting with a friend,

let myself feel like an asshole,

and then I move the fuck on.

How you feeling?

I'm okay. How are you?

I'm good.

I just wanna say that
I really do, like, think

that this part
will be sickening for you.

It's just hard
to take comfort from people

when everyone's really cushy
with what they got,

and they're all like,
oh, yeah, this is totally you.

You could do so great at this.

It's, like, no, I don't think
you even think that.

I feel like everyone just is
really happy with what they got.

The part that I have
is not a part that I wanted.

I know what Lady Camden
is going through in this moment,

and it doesn't always feel good
to make the tough decision

or be the bigger person
or whatever.

But that does not mean

that you won't knock the role
that you got out of the park.

And it's hard,
because I feel like

I would just do such a better
job at it, to be honest, but...

- Yeah, I feel the same.
- Yeah.

I feel the same.

I could have murdered
this part, I do.

I feel like it's more me, but
this could possibly be me, too.

So now the name of the game
is making what we have work.

Yeah.

And we've seen you
be very funny.

That's why I think that
this part, you can handle it.

I feel like Angeria
sees something in me

that I don't always see
in myself, honestly.

And when she's saying,
bitch, you can do this,

I'm kind of going...

I think you're right, I can.

I feel like that weird
kind of, like, crazy energy

that I had
when I was doing Freddie.

I feel like I'm gonna bring
some of that kooky weirdness

- to Mama Z.
- I feel like you should, yeah.

You know, there's
a switch in my mind

where I go, I could
never possibly... oh.

Fuck it, I'll do it.

No such thing as small roles.

Only small boobs.

I'm feeling, like, fine, Bosco.

You can be happy
with the part that you got

and you fought so hard for.

Thank you for cheering me up.

But I'm very capable
of catching up behind you.

Just... watch out.

Wow.

- Whoa!
- Welcome, ladies.

Hello!

Oh, my fucking God.

Leslie Jordan.

This is wild.

My grandma's a giant
Will and Grace fan,

and I used to watch Will
and Grace with her growing up,

and he's so funny.

Four, five, six, seven.

Leslie Jordan's videos

were one of my favorites
getting through quarantine.

It's still March.

How many days in March?

She just says
what's on her mind.

She don't give a fuck.

What are y'all doing?

Screwing?

I am gonna be your director

this week.

Say hello to Leland,
our composer,

and Miguel Zarate,
our choreographer.

- Hi, ladies.
- Hi!

Now, listen, here's a secret
you may not know.

I was doing drag
in Atlanta before RuPaul.

Oh! Oh, bitch!

Sister!

I was the sweet and petite
Miss Baby Wipes.

Leland, what do the girls
need to know about Moulin Ru?

The majority of you are on stage
for most of the Rusical,

so you have to stay
in your character

from the second the Rusical
starts to the second it ends.

You better pee beforehand.

Very important.

Let's just get it started.

- Cool.
- Saltine.

A lot of pressure
is riding on me to impress,

because I just fought like
a fucking animal for this role,

and I gotta deliver.

Saltine, she's the one
that everyone wants

and no one can afford.

Let's just bring that bitch out.

And you're gonna go one and two
and three and four,

five and six and seven
and eight. Beautiful.

- You take direction well.
- Thank you.

As Bosco is picking up
the choreography,

I'm remembering that Bosco
is a talented dancer.

Five and six and push, push.

- Nice!
- Wow.

I don't want Bosco to do bad.

I just wanna
do better than Bosco.

Angeria as Charisma.

That's right.

Get up there!
It's your turn!

We're gonna start off cute.
One and two.

Then you're gonna go
three and four.

Okay, hold on.

- Three and four.
- Two.

Right.

Remember you need to be
focusing on lip syncing

and doing the choreography
and playing the character.

You know, there's a lot
to balance in this one.

So what advice would you give
Angeria to learn those moves?

Attaching something to the move
outside of the count.

Like, shake the dice,
lick it up.

Shake the dice and lick it up.

Shake the dice and lick it up.

I know that me and choreography
ain't the best of friends,

but I'm just hoping

I'm able to shake the dice
and lick it up.

Thank you so much.

- Willow!
- Hey.

My Green Fairy.

Here's the gag.

It's a full sequence, and then
it gets so fast that it's funny.

But you actually
have to keep up with it.

Okay, here we go.

Punch and punch
and hit and head.

Punch and punch
and hit and head.

Cute. Five, six, seven,
a little faster.

One and two
and three and four, five...

She's like, hold up, hold up.

Let's try that again, Willow.

Oh, fuck, what have I
gotten myself into?

Miss Talent!

Yes.

- How tall are you?
- I'm 5'2.

You are not, you liar.

I am!

There's only one way
to find the truth.

- I'm 4-11.
- Oh, my God!

You're 5'2.

Before I even
teach you anything,

- I just want you to show me...
- Okay.

What you think Talent
would give.

One. Hey, hey, hey.

Spice it up!
Spice it up!

Yes!

Punch the ghost,
punch the ghost!

And she's not even
warm yet, okay?

Oh, yes, ma'am.

So when you're working
in a group,

of course you wanna take
as much attention and spotlight

when it's your turn.

But it's also equally important
to blend in with the group

and know how to support
the other cast members.

Absolutely.

Jorgeous is really good
at just randomly dancing,

not choreography.

Two, three, pop.

Oh, shit, wait a minute.

I'm very interested to see

when it comes
to lots of choreography,

one song after another,

how that's gonna retain
in her head.

One, two, three, kick, four,

step, passé, hit, passé, hit.

Nice!

Jorgeous, your passé is on fire.

Mama Z.

I'm just gonna throw you
a couple of eights,

and we're just gonna see
where you go with it.

Great. My goal is to really
flip this around

and find some way
to make this character pop.

And eight and... great.

And I'm gonna give you
a little bit more,

because you can handle it.

Miss Camden, she has
that ballet background,

and, bitch, Camden
is eating the arena.

- Wow.
- Whoa.

Rrr!

Mama Z's also, like,
really nitty gritty and rough.

She actually has a beard.

Yeah, okay.

You're so naturally poised
from all the ballet training,

it's gonna have some more grit

and some more masculinity
within the femininity.

So bring more of that
to the table.

Okay. I'm gonna bring
my newfound butchness.

I'm gonna bring
a little bit of Shakespeare,

a little bit of Freddie.

What is happening to me?
I'm becoming a man!

Out and move.

♪ Moulin Ru,
may the best person win ♪

Amazing!

Are y'all shitting yourselves?

I would be.

You're great.
You're phenomenal.

Lady Camden nails it,

so it's up to me
to really deliver

is the only way
to win at this point.

Okay, ladies, so take five,
and when you come back,

I'm gonna teach you
some square dancing moves

that I learned when
I was at the Grand Ole Opry.

- Oh.
- Oh.

Yee-haw.

The only queen that I'm very,
very concerned about is RuPaul.

Because, honey,
she's gotta make a decision

amongst all these queens,

and I don't know how
that's gonna happen.

Today we debut Moulin Ru,
the Rusical.

America, get ready.
This is going to be epic.

So did you guys rehearse
last night?

Heck, yeah.

Yes, that was a must.

Baby, I have rehearsed
this choreography

over and over and over again.

I got to Debbie Allen
my own self.

I'm telling myself fame costs,

and this is where you
start paying... in sweat!

How are you feeling
after everything, like...

Honestly, after everything,
I feel a little bit embarrassed

that I even, like, went as far

as to, like, start an argument
with someone over it.

I don't like to get messy
and shit,

because I am, after all,
a fucking lady, you know?

I don't know if being stubborn
is, like, worth it to me,

to be, like...
To win an argument.

As much as I wanna, like,

be a loud voice
and put my foot down,

it's not in my nature
to be, like,

a mean, like,
aggressive bitch about it.

You know what I mean?

This might have been
a blessing in disguise,

because I'm really
kind of getting into Mama Z.

It's kind of fun to imagine
that I own this club, you know?

Come to my club!

Pay me money and watch
my bitches dance!

There's a way to just
kind of go, okay,

how can you make lemonade
out of juice or whatever it is?

Make lemons out of lemonade.

What?

No! What's the thing?

Make tea out of lemonade.

Yeah.

I'm excited.

Me, too, my love.

I grew up doing, like,
musicals and plays and stuff.

That's kind of really where
I felt the most comfortable

when I was in school.

I never really got into

that whole musical theater
kind of stuff

because I just think
it's so annoying to me.

Not gonna lie.

What was that, Miss Jorgeous?

It's, like, so, like,
annoying to me, like...

What's annoying about it?

Just, like, the whole singing
and, like, ♪ ah ha ha ♪

All, like, happy and shit.

It's just like, no.

I don't want none of the musical
theater gays to come after me,

but honestly,
I'm not a fan whatsoever.

Singing all the time,
I'm just like, no.

I like that club ratchet shit.

- Bosco!
- Yeah!

Star of the Moulin Ru.

Are you nervous at all?

No. I don't know.

This just feels like what
I've, like, been working to do.

Didn't you grow up dancing?

I did.
So I grew up

doing, like, tap dancing
when I was younger,

and, like, my grandma was
also my first dance teacher.

Oh, I love that!

She was trained to be a Radio
City Rockette type of thing.

- So she was, like, kicks?
- She was, like, the kicks

and, like, the Fosse
and all that good stuff.

Oh, this is just great for you.

Granny's gonna love this.

I know!

My grandma was very invested
in that dance scene,

so I grew up watching dancers.

I was taught that Ginger Rogers

had to do everything
that Fred Astaire did,

but backwards and in heels.

I always thought that that
was so much more impressive.

I never had, like,
a dance background.

I just did it
in, like, my living room.

That's so wild to me,

because you are such
a fucking good dancer.

Do you know Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon?

- Yeah.
- No.

- No, you don't?
- I don't.

You don't?

Crouching Dragon...

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

- Yeah.
- What is it?

It's a Chinese film.

Yes, and, like,
they do, like, splits

and it's just, like,

they're always, like, moving
and shit and, like...

You'd watch that,
like, a million times.

Yes, when I was younger.

My mom has a video of me,
like, doing it with the sword.

So that's pretty much
how I started

to, like, learn
how to use, like, my body.

I think as gay people,

we teach ourselves
a lot of talents

because we're too scared
to learn in group settings.

Sometimes we're really
self-conscious about things,

so I think it's really cool

that the thing that Jorgeous
is so great at

she taught herself.

I have a similar story.

I actually have never taken
a dance class.

I could tell.

Ooh!

Remember, you get one of those,

and you just cashed
that shit in, bitch.

Oh, my God.

It feels so weird not having
Jasmine here to fight with.

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe,
let your whole body talk ♪

Come on, waist.

And what?

Oh, my God.

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Hey, sister, soul sister,
it's Michelle Visage.

Now, "Visage," is that French?

Yes, it means, uh,

"She who loves leopard prints."

Hmm.

I thought it was
"Slut who loves leopard prints."

And the hilarious
Ross Mathews. Hi, Ross.

Ru-lez-vous coucher avec moi,
c'est soir?

Wait, what did you just call me?

I don't know.

And it's the amazing Andra Day.

Welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for having me.

I am so excited to be here.

Are you ready for a Rusical?

Abso-Ru-tely.

I'm not sure.

Now, this week
we challenged our queens

to put on a show

in the all-dancing,
all-lip syncing Rusical

Moulin Ru.

Racers, start your engines,
and may the best drag queen win.

Michelle, I gotta tell ya,
these are great seats.

They must have cost you
a fortune.

Oh, um, Ross is treating us.

Oh, shh, shh.
It's starting.

♪ Moulin Ru ♪

♪ Moulin Ru ♪

♪ And to the ones I love ♪

♪ Know that you're
the reason why ♪

♪ I dare to live my life,
dare to liberate my mind ♪

♪ You're running
through my veins ♪

♪ Won't you make me
come alive? ♪

♪ Give me one shot, one shot,
ooh, of adrenaline ♪

♪ Moulin Ru ♪

♪ Start your engines ♪

♪ Moulin Ru ♪

♪ It's about to begin ♪

Welcome to the Moulin Ru,

where drag rules as king, queen,

and everything in-between.

♪ Moulin Ru ♪

♪ Start your engines ♪

♪ Moulin Ru ♪

♪ It's about to be...
'bout to be... ♪

♪ 'Bout to be...
'bout to begin ♪

♪ Ra-ka-ta titi-ta-ta ♪

♪ Moulin Ru ♪

This is a story about love,

my love for a queen
named Saltine.

- Aw!
- Poor, penniless fool.

People don't come to
the Moulin Ru looking for love.

They come for Charisma,
Uniqueness, Nerve,

and... line?

Talent!

Talent.

Now performing their hit single,

"Jaloux de ma Gelee,"

or as you Americans would say,

Don't Be Jealous of My Jelly.

♪ I like the guys
that are sweet, mm-hmm ♪

♪ By that,
I mean sugar daddies ♪

Any here tonight, boys?

♪ This one's got cash
to the skies ♪

♪ And I'm gonna get it
when he dies ♪

♪ Don't need tricks
when you're young ♪

♪ But when you're like me,
you need some, one or two ♪

♪ I've got a few up my sleeve ♪

♪ Hey, anyone wanna see? ♪

♪ Don't be jaloux de ma gelee ♪

♪ Jaloux de ma gelee ♪

♪ That means don't be jealous
of my jelly, ah ♪

♪ Unh, unh, unh ♪

♪ I treat men
like the dogs they are ♪

♪ And if they try to bite me ♪

♪ Tie 'em up in the yard ♪

♪ I don't take no shit,
I don't play no game ♪

♪ No Monopoly board,
I want whips and chains ♪

♪ Like, unh, do it,
just like that ♪

♪ Ah, move it, just like that ♪

♪ Walk on his back
like my name click-clack ♪

♪ Charisma, ooh ♪

♪ Uniqueness, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Nerve and Talent ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ I don't do tricks,
don't do pain ♪

♪ I give 'em the love ♪

♪ Their mothers never gave, oh ♪

♪ And two comfy pillows
to sleep ♪

♪ Well, if that's
what they need ♪

♪ Don't be jaloux de ma gelee ♪

♪ Jaloux de ma gelee ♪

♪ That means don't be
jealous of my jelly ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

And now, the Moulin Ru
proudly presents

the star of our show, Saltine.

♪ Hunny, hunny ♪

♪ A little twist and slide ♪

♪ Unh, unh ♪

♪ You're so lucky tonight ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm giving you
the show that you want ♪

♪ Kiss me like you miss me ♪

♪ Hump me like you hate me ♪

♪ Shoot a movie on my face ♪

♪ Take another picture ♪

♪ Put it on my Insta ♪

♪ Come give me another taste ♪

♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

♪ I'm the kitty girl ♪

- ♪ And it's your world ♪
- ♪ And it's my world ♪

♪ I'm a kitty girl ♪

♪ And I want money,
money, money, money ♪

♪ Money, money, money,
money, money, money, yeah ♪

♪ And I want money ♪

♪ Money ♪

♪ Money ♪

♪ Money ♪

♪ Money ♪

Saltine, the rich duke
was in the audience,

and he wants to meet you.

With his money and your beauty,

the Moulin Ru will be saved.

Wait here!

Saltine,

you're the most beautiful
woman I've ever seen.

Come away with me,
and I will love you forever.

Wow. This is all
happening so fast!

What could go wrong?

Ah-choo!

Are you okay?

Um, it's just...
allergies?

♪ A little bit of love
goes a long, long way ♪

♪ Lifting you up
to a brighter day ♪

♪ A little bit of love
goes a long, long way ♪

♪ Turn it around
when you up and say ♪

♪ Gonna love you as you are ♪

♪ Gonna love you,
you're a superstar ♪

♪ To, to, to, to the moon ♪

♪ To the moon ♪

♪ To the moon ♪

♪ To the moon ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love with... ♪

Jason Momoa!

- Oh, wait. No, you. Sorry.
- That's okay.

- ♪ I'm in love ♪
- ♪ I'm in love ♪

- ♪ I'm in love ♪
- ♪ I'm in love ♪

♪ I'm in love with you ♪

Saltine, may I present to you

the wealthy and generous
Duke of Dickington?

Enchanté. Hey!

I thought you said
she was single

and looking to mingle!

Saltine, you have
a choice to make,

and don't fuck it up.

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ I know what's best for you,
and you do not ♪

♪ Cover girl,
don't you wanna be rich? ♪

♪ Well, here they are
to give you their pitch, hey ♪

♪ I'll give you runways ♪

♪ I'll give you paydays ♪

♪ Covers of magazines ♪

♪ He doesn't love you
the way that I do ♪

♪ We'll be a family ♪

♪ Bing, bang, bong,
sing, sang, song ♪

♪ Ding, dang, dong ♪

♪ Cover girl ♪

♪ Put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ You'll be a star,
isn't that what you want? ♪

♪ Lover girl, go with
what's in your heart ♪

♪ Leave with me,
and we won't be apart ♪

- ♪ Cover girl ♪
- ♪ Lover girl ♪

- ♪ Cover girl ♪
- ♪ Lover girl ♪

- ♪ Cover girl ♪
- ♪ Lover girl ♪

♪ Bing, bang, bong,
sing, sang, song ♪

♪ Ding, dang, dong ♪

♪ Can't decide what is right ♪

♪ What is wrong, oh ♪

- ♪ Lover girl ♪
- ♪ Cover girl ♪

♪ Cover girl ♪

Why does life
have to be so binary?

Can't I have both?

Ah-choo!

You should really
get that checked out.

It's just allergies!

Saltine, the answer
to your problems

is in this little bottle
of absinthe.

- Bottles up, bitches!
- Bottles up, bitches!

Are you my inner saboteur?

No, my dear,
I'm your hallelu-cination.

♪ A-one, two, three ♪

♪ And this is the beginning ♪

♪ The beginning ♪

♪ This is the beginning
of the rest of your life ♪

♪ You're a champion ♪

♪ Greatest of them all ♪

♪ You're a champion ♪

♪ Never gonna fall ♪

♪ If you dream,
everything you want to be ♪

♪ If you dream,
all the possibilities ♪

♪ Choose you,
you're a miracle ♪

♪ Choose you, and who
you want to be-ee-ee-ee ♪

Now do you get it?

No. Can I hear it again?

Fine.

♪ One, two, three ♪

♪ And this is the beginning ♪

♪ The beginning ♪

♪ This is the beginning
of the rest of your life ♪

♪ You're a champion ♪

♪ Greatest of them all ♪

♪ If you dream, everything
you want to be-ee-ee-ee ♪

♪ Choose you,
you're a miracle ♪

♪ Choose you, and who
you want to be-ee-ee-ee ♪

Now you have to get it.

I am so sorry,

I wasn't listening.

Oh, God!
One, two, three, four.

♪ This is the beginning,
the beginning ♪

♪ You're a champion,
greatest of them all ♪

♪ If you dream, choose you ♪

♪ Choose me ♪

♪ Choose you ♪

♪ Choose me ♪

- ♪ Choose you ♪
- ♪ Choose me ♪

You get the point?

Huh? You still talking to me?

Oh, God!

Saltine's consulted
with the Green Fairy,

but the final decision
is hers to make.

I choose...

myself!

Ah-choo!

Saltine!

I swear, if she dies,
I'm outta here.

She's dead!

I'm outta here.

♪ A little bit of love
goes a long, long way ♪

♪ Lifting you up
to a brighter day ♪

You're alive!

I told you,
it was just allergies.

♪ Na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Na-na-na-na,
na-na-na-na-na-na ♪

♪ Giggity-giggity-hah-hah ♪

♪ Giggity-giggity-hah-hah ♪

♪ A cunny-hunny,
a cunny-hunny, ah ♪

♪ A cunny-hunny,
a cunny-hunny, ah ♪

♪ Knick to the knick
to the knick-knack ♪

♪ I'm back with the freaky
money,
click-clack, ah ♪

♪ Moulin Ru,
start your engines ♪

♪ Moulin Ru, it's about to be ♪

♪ 'Bout to be, 'bout to be ♪

♪ 'Bout to begin ♪

♪ Ra-ka-ta titi-ta-ta ♪

♪ Moulin Ru ♪

♪ The world is your runway ♪

Category is Mirror, Mirror.

First up, Lady Camden.

You know, if you break a mirror,

you get seven years of bad tuck.

I am serving you shooting star.

I'm drawing
some inspiration tonight

from The Little Prince.

I am sparkly as fuck.

I feel like a goddess
from outer space

made completely out of gas.

This is Jack Frost's
sister, Jackie Frost.

Eew, Jackie Frost.

Ooh, Jackie.

Ooh, Mary.

Bosco.

She's what you call
a chromosexual.

My look is Mugler

meets Sorayama
meets Tin Man slam piece.

I'm giving them a whole lot
of Linda Evangelista

meets just, like, the sexiest
little toaster oven

you ever did see.

I am oiled up to the point
that I am my own Slip-n-Slide.

Things are moving.
No foam here.

You know you're a whore
if you've got mirrored kneepads.

Willow Pill.

Now, this queen
is a real firecracker.

The inspiration for this look

was kind of like Elton John,
Joan Jett, and Evel Knievel

getting into
a bunch of fireworks.

It's very, like,
late seventies rock.

I wanna wear this every day

for breakfast, lunch,
dinner, and dessert.

She's illegal in 14 states.

Let's light this bitch up.

Okay!

Angeria.

More like ho-saic.

Baby, I am giving you
a galactic mermaid queen,

adorned in all of these
reflective scales.

So I'm making sure
everything catches the light.

She's giving you
a beautiful side cutout,

so you could
see the shape, honey,

that all the girls be mad at.

I'm catching the eye
from Andra Day, bitch,

and I'm like,
yes, girl, you see it.

Oh, she's shattering
the ass ceiling.

Daya Betty.

Ah, she wants
to rock and roll all night.

And party every day.

I have chosen to do
a Kiss-inspired runway.

I kind of feel like a shiny,
metallic porcupine right now.

The base of this outfit

is actually made
from a reflective vinyl,

so I hope I'm just blinding
the judges at this point,

in a good way, of course.

She's a queen that
makes you wanna hug her.

DeJa Skye.

Someone's been self-reflecting.

Yes, honey, you better
narci-sissy that walk.

Am I beautiful?
Yes, I am.

I'm walking out with regalness,
with confidence.

I have a holographic kind of
cage moment with big shoulders.

You know I love big shoulders.

I am serving the evil queen
of the futuristic Glamazonia.

DeJa, you have a little
right there in your teeth.

Jorgeous as Liza Mirrelli.

This look
is inspired by Miss Cardi B,

and it has a really short,
scissored kind of look.

It's like my ribcage dress.

I'm wearing latex boots,
latex gloves, wet hair.

I wanted to give the judges

something very edgy,
dark, and mysterious.

Bitch, I'm stomping it out.

Oh, my God,
you guys, she sharted.

Ross!

Ooh, check out
her rearview mirrors.

Yes, honey,
objects in the mirror

might appear smaller
than they actually is.

Well, ladies,
the reviews are in.

Moulin Ru is a smash hit.

You've proved that you're all
stars with bright futures.

But this is a competition,

so we're gonna have
to split some hairs here

to really decide
who is top and who is bottom.

First up, Lady Camden.

Lady, you had the emcee role,

which can be
sort of a throwaway role,

and establishing a character
can be difficult.

Somehow you did it,

because you were slithering
across that stage

in a way that
I totally knew who you were.

We've kind of been waiting
this whole competition

for you to be able
to show us some ballet,

and you gave us what you do
and what you do so well.

I actually danced for, like,
22 years, so I can recognize.

I'm like, oh, I see the posture,
I see the pointe,

I see the bevel,
and I love this look.

I love the top.

You know I always say that.

I'm right here, Ross.

When I go like this,
oh, I love it.

Thank you so much.

Up next, it's Bosco.

Did you ever see Moulin Rouge?

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

First of all,
you were playing a character,

so I was kind of wishing

that you didn't do
the Bosco eyebrows,

because you weren't Bosco,
you were Saltine.

That already took me out

of a full commitment
to the character.

You could have gone
so much further with it.

Even the sneezes, the way you
were sneezing was too delicate.

It wasn't big enough.

The thing about the Saltine role

is that the story hinges on
her giving that extra something.

It was almost there.

It just wasn't
all the way there.

This is beautiful
in a Mugler type of way.

It's stunning, it's gorgeous,

but I think you know
what I'm gonna say.

This is I think the fourth
corset/panty/thigh-high look.

It's about versatility.

Yeah, okay, we've seen corset
and panties from you before,

but uh, huh...

I mean, this is perfection.

Thank you.

Don't try to give her
no big pill.

She want a Willow Pill.

Can I tell you
how much I loved you?

Please do!

You were like Michelle Visage
on a first date.

You just kept doing it
over and over and over again.

I couldn't get enough.

To play a character
whose energy is dwindling

while keeping your energy
ascending at the same time

is not an easy thing to do,
so I was very impressed.

Thank you.

Tonight, I think
this is adorable.

It's really
rocker chic seventies,

Fourth of July celebration.

But mirror, mirror...

I get the mirror, right?
You're wearing reflective pants.

You always manage
to do it uniquely you.

That's a gift.

Thank you.

Up next, Angeria.

Your part in the Rusical
was not the biggest part,

not the flashiest part,

and I saw you keeping
your head above water.

Like, notice me,
notice me, notice me.

And I appreciate that.

It could have been smoother,
but it was really good.

And this look is, you know,
I have no words.

It is perfect.

With you, the word
is always "regal,"

and I think
that's a pageantry thing.

When you're wearing your crown
and you're in your glory,

and that's what I got from this,
and it's just gorgeous.

Drag queens, take note.
At home, this is what you wear.

This is an iconic look for you.

Oh, thank you.

Up next, Daya Betty.

In the Rusical,
you were amazing.

It's one thing
to be technically perfect,

and then it's another thing

to have the perfect
amount of energy,

and you really combined
the two in a magnificent way.

Small parts are a big risk,

because you could just get lost
if you don't nail it,

and you were able to find
the little moments

that just took it
the extra level.

And I love this outfit.

I love how shiny it is.

Of course, I'm a big Kiss fan.

I totally agree with you.

I think you look
really sharp tonight.

Oh, you need to stop it!

Up next, DeJa Skye.

With these kind of
ensemble productions,

you need to really fight
to be seen in these things,

and we were kind of losing you.

- Okay.
- And then the rap came,

and you came to life.

Walking the dancers out
on leashes

just made me so happy inside.

I will probably
practice it at home.

Let's talk about
your runway look.

I don't get mirror so much.

- Okay.
- It's pretty.

I did wanna go up to you
a few times and just go, unh.

- Right, the dress.
- Yes.

And my eye keeps going
to where it's bunched up.

I don't see much mirror.

It's reflective, I guess.

I'm getting Cher, Sanctuary.

Oh!

But I think that
about everything.

Up next, Jorgeous.

Helloteous.

- You were Talent.
- Yes.

It started off strong. You had
that funny little boom-boom.

That was so funny.

You had that moment,
and then it was like, bye.

You faded away.

And it's weird, because
when you come out here,

nobody can
take their eyes off of you.

We've all said it
week after week.

The other girls are probably
like, okay, we get it.

But when it's not just you,
you fade away.

There was a disconnect
from what your body was doing

and what was on your face.

I don't know
who your character was.

This look is beautiful,
body is beautiful.

I'm so proud of you
not wearing bra and panties.

It's so different for you,
and I encourage you to... all...

To keep challenging yourself

to bring something different
style-wise each week.

Thank you so much.

All right, ladies,
I wanna hear from you.

Who should go home tonight...

Oh, God.

And why?

Starting with Lady Camden.

I feel like everyone's
really fucking strong,

which is annoying.
Um...

Purely based off tonight,
I would have to say Bosco.

Bosco.

Based off of tonight's critiques
and track record,

I would say Jorgeous,

because she's been in the bottom
the most out of the girls here.

Willow.

Bosco fought so hard
for this role,

and it should have been
what was expected.

Angeria, same question.

I am gonna say Bosco.

Daya Betty, same question.

I do unfortunately
have to say Bosco as well.

DeJa Skye.

I would have to say Bosco.

- Jorgeous?
- I would have to say Bosco.

She really, really
wanted this role,

and as she was trying to, like,

why she should,
like, win this role,

she was trying
to put Lady Camden down,

and it put a very bad taste
in my mouth.

And also, if we wanna
talk about track record,

she was in the bottom
three times in one episode.

All right, ladies,
I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck
in the werkroom,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

All right, now, just between
us squirrel friends,

I wanna know what you think,
starting with Lady Camden.

Lady Camden in the Rusical
was dynamic, enigmatic.

You couldn't take your eyes...

Wait, what did you just call me?

Sorry. It had to be said.

Couldn't take my eyes
off of Lady Camden.

Wove the whole story together
like a master seamstress.

She performs
at such a high level,

she probably would have
been great at Saltine

or any character
she would have played.

Lady Camden could do that
on Broadway

in Moulin Rouge! The Musical.

- She was that good.
- Yeah.

Bosco.

She was the star of the show,

and all eyes

should be on her at all times,

and I kept looking away.

I think the problem
with Bosco as Saltine

is she was probably gluten-free.

Tonight on the runway,
yes, y'all, she looks amazing,

but I've seen this look
amazingly four times already.

Obviously, I have not
been here the entire time,

but the entire time
she was walking down the runway,

I just kept thinking,
"Beam me up, naughty.

Beam me up, naughty."
I just love it.

Willow Pill.

Willow came out
middle of the show

and had a really long number
that needed to work,

or we would have been
bored to tears.

And it didn't just work,

it succeeded
on a phenomenal level.

Angeria.

In the challenge,
those smaller parts

can be as much as you make them.

- Yeah.
- And I think she did a good job,

but I didn't think
she was phenomenal,

and I kind of am used
to her being phenomenal.

But on the runway,
honey, she slayed it.

- Mm-hmm.
- I just love, love, loved it.

Daya Betty.

She was able,
in this teeny-tiny part,

to find things that only existed

because she brought them
to life.

- Mm-hmm.
- I think context is so huge,

and that's really the job of
sort of these side characters,

is to really place you
in the world,

and she really did that for me.

DeJa Skye.

DeJa was Nerve.

I was like, girl power!

Yes, bitch! It was amazing.

When DeJa was rapping,

I was thinking to myself,
she could win this whole week.

And then she comes out in that
on the runway,

and I thought, well,
she foiled that plan.

I think she had a mirror
challenge and she panicked

and she put something over
a really pretty black dress.

You know, and you try
to sell it with the mirror.

Oh, well, okay.

- Jorgeous.
- She is a firecracker.

Oftentimes,
for people who are shorter,

it's harder
to command attention.

I have to tell you,
I was jaw-dropped, absolutely.

She was captivating
when it was her turn,

but I didn't get
what her character was

when she wasn't the focal point.

Jorgeous was lost for me
in this entire show.

When she's amongst people
that are as good, if not better,

I think she gets inside of her
head, and that's what happened.

All right, silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Daya Betty.

You made us drunk with laughter.

You are safe.

Thank you guys.
Thank you.

Willow Pill.

This week you were
completely hallelu-cinating.

You are safe.

Thank you.

Lady Camden.

This week the race was tight,

but you pulled ahead

by a hair
of your chinny-chin-chin.

Con-drag-ulations. You're the
winner of this week's challenge.

- Yay!
- Yes, bitch.

I won!

Yes, bitch!

You've won a cash prize
of $5.000,

and a trip to New York City

to see Moulin Rouge!
The Musical on Broadway.

Thank you guys so much.

I can't believe I won!

What feels good about this

is that I didn't win
the fight with Bosco,

I might not have been
the loudest voice in the room,

but I turned
that shit out, bitch.

I'm going to New York!

Angeria, you are safe.

- Thank you.
- You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

Bosco.

Your performance
was nothing to sneeze at,

but the judges wanted to see
even more star quality.

DeJa Skye.

As a rapper, you dominated,

but your mirror, mirror look
did not reflect well on you.

Jorgeous.

You're a true talent,
but you got lost in the chorus.

DeJa Skye, you are safe.

Oh!

You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

- I love you.
- I love you.

Bosco, Jorgeous,

I'm sorry, my dears,
but you are up for elimination.

I do not particularly want

to lip sync against Jorgeous,

and I'm pretty sure that RuPaul
has put herself down

as an organ donor for Jorgeous.

Like, she's obsessed
with Jorgeous,

but I need to continue going
forward in this competition.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination.

The time has come...

for you to lip sync...

for your life!

Okay, this isn't my first time
at the rodeo.

Lip syncing is what I do,
and I'm ready to turn it.

Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

This is the Heartbreak Hotel.

This is the Heartbreak Hotel.

♪ You said
you'd be here by 9:00 ♪

♪ Instead, you took your time ♪

♪ You didn't think
to call me, boy ♪

♪ Since you're not around ♪

♪ For me to tell you, baby,
face to face... ♪

I am feeling frustration,
a sense of defiance,

and just giving them
these lyrics

as if I was the one
that wrote them myself.

♪ All I really wanted
was some of your time ♪

♪ Instead, you told me lies ♪

♪ When someone else
was on your mind ♪

♪ All you did
was lie to me, baby, yeah ♪

♪ Can't believe what
you did to me, baby, yeah ♪

♪ I thought
that you were someone ♪

♪ Who would do me right,
ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Until you played
with my emotions ♪

♪ And you made me cry ♪

♪ What'd you do to me? ♪

♪ Why'd you do it? ♪

♪ Can't take
what you did to me ♪

♪ You didn't have
to do it to me, baby ♪

♪ This is the heartbreak ♪

♪ Oh, this
is the heartbreak... ♪

There are no weak moments
in this lip sync.

Jorgeous is pop-locking it,

and Bosco is giving me
the energy that I need.

It is a show.

♪ All I really wanted was
some of your time, oh, baby ♪

♪ Instead, you told me lies ♪

♪ When someone else
was on your mind ♪

♪ All I really wanted ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ It's all I really wanted,
baby ♪

♪ I thought that you were
someone who would do me right ♪

♪ Until you played with my
emotions and you made me cry ♪

♪ Can't take it no more ♪

♪ No more,
I ain't gonna take it ♪

♪ I ain't gonna take it
no more ♪

Oh, my God.

Werk!

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Jorgeous, shantay you stay.

You may join the other girls.

Thank y'all so much.

Thank y'all.

Bosco.

Your fate now rests
in the hands of the drag gods.

If you have the gold bar,
you will be safe.

Now let's see what you've got.

Oh, my goodness!

You've got the gold bar!

The drag gods have spoken!

Bosco, con-drag-ulations.

You are safe
to slay another day!

Oh, my God, to be given
a second chance is wild.

And to be given a second chance
that wasn't even from RuPaul,

it was just from the universe,
is insane.

Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in here?

- Amen!
- Amen!

All right.
Now let the music play!

♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Oh, playing
with the game of love ♪

♪ Oh, baby, playing with
the game of love ♪

♪ Winner ♪

Next time,
on RuPaul's Drag Race...

We're having a good,
old-fashioned roast,

and the guest of honor
is our very own Ross Mathews.

When I think of the name
Ross Mathews,

I think of motels:

always open and filthy as fuck.

Last week
I had the dubious honor

of being told
that I should go home.

Cool.

There's no punchline
to that joke.

It doesn't matter
if you just won

or you almost went home.

You have to focus on that crown.

♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Oh, winner, baby ♪

♪ Oh, winner, baby ♪

♪ Oh, winner, baby ♪

♪ Oh, playing with
the game of love ♪

♪ Oh, winner, baby ♪

♪ Oh, baby, playing
with the game of love ♪

♪ Winner ♪