Rosehaven (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - Episode #2.7 - full transcript
McCullum Real Estate tries to attract new customers at a local festival. Emma attempts to impress her mother, Pam, during her visit to Rosehaven.
I always feel like I'm right on the
edge of being sick of boiled eggs,
but... never happens.
- That's how I feel about you.
- Hmm?
Not that I think I'm gonna get
sick of you. I just... I mean...
I was trying to think
of something nice to say
that related to what you said,
but then I realised how it sounded.
It's fine. Thanks.
Em.
"Happy breakfast, loser."
Right on time. Shall we
ask her to stop doing that?
No, I deserve it. I left her
living with Mum on her own.
Mum's probably making her life miserable.
Are you ready?
I hope you're ready, 'cause it's
too late if you're not ready,
because here comes the big reveal!
What do you think?
- Great. You could be a model.
- You think?
Nah. This is a one-off.
I'm into making people feel good,
and the only time models make people
feel good is when they fall down.
Maybe I should fall down.
Sympathy is a great substitute for talent.
- What kind of catwalk do they have?
- There won't be a catwalk.
It's just a stage... if you're lucky.
Look, it's my first time
in the Rosehaven Hops
Festival costume competition.
Help me out. What are
the judges looking for?
I never go to the costume competition.
I'll be helping the Ladies
Auxiliary coordinate their stall.
Because you love craft and
cakes and doilies? Me too.
It's a great money-spinner
for the local charities.
Do you know what I love?
Your town has a costume contest
and not a beauty contest,
- we get the day off stupid work...
- You know I'm your boss?
- and you get to meet my mum.
- Your mum?
Yeah, sorry. Um, she's coming
down tomorrow, just for a night.
I thought she could stay in Dan's room.
Thanks for the notice.
Maybe you can offer her my room
and I can sleep on the porch.
You don't have to do that.
You're gonna love her. She's just like me.
Oh!
Did that look real?
It's not a very sexy product, is it, hops?
- It's a seed, right?
- It's a flower.
It's in beer. I thought you'd love it.
I love cake, but I wouldn't
go to a baking powder festival.
Yeah, but hops is used for heaps of stuff.
- Insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome...
- Well, great.
If Mum can't sleep and shits herself...
Are you nervous about her coming down?
Nah. Someone from the family
had to visit eventually,
just to check I'm not living under a
bridge or eating drugs or something.
And she probably misses you.
You don't have to do that.
You've met her. She's
nice. We're just not close.
- Yeah, fair enough.
- She had five kids.
By the time I came along,
I'd be pretty over it too.
- Sorry.
- Why? It was the best.
I could do whatever I wanted.
My family already had a smart kid,
a musical kid, a buff kid,
so buggerlugs here didn't
have to be anything.
A buff kid?
But obviously I am looking forward
to her seeing how great I am doing,
and then telling everyone
how great I am doing.
Steve. My favourite client.
How are you? Fine.
So, my house has been
for sale for a while now.
Yes. Sorry about that.
I'm doing everything I
can to get it out there,
including putting the photo
of it up on the display window
at about the height of the average person,
which is 170cm, according to the internet.
Yes. The thing is I've been investigating
how I can take advantage of
certain planetary movements
over the next few days.
OK.
And with Neptune opposing Pluto,
now's the perfect time for a change.
Right.
So, if we don't have an offer
within the next couple of days,
it's time for me to change agents.
The next couple of days?
Steve, the office is closed
tomorrow for the festival.
Well, I don't know what to tell you.
That's what I'm getting from the charts.
Yes, but...
Hopefully, the change they
predict will be an offer,
but it's not an exact science.
Well, it's not a science at all.
- What was that?
- Nothing.
Mum, Steve's given me until tomorrow...
Why didn't you tell me you
were having a cake meeting?
They're for the RLA stall. They want
me to taste them before tomorrow.
Fantastic! I'm starving.
No, only RLA members can
taste them before the festival.
- Can I join the RLA?
- Sure.
- Sweet!
- Can I join too?
No. It's the Rosehaven LADIES Auxiliary.
Doesn't seem fair.
We can discuss inclusivity
right after I eat some free cake for women.
What's up?
Steve's given me until tomorrow
to find a buyer for his house.
You've done what you can.
If Steve wants to be impatient,
that's on him, not you.
Well, what if the office
stayed open tomorrow?
- Just in case someone comes in.
- No way!
- I'll run it by myself.
- I support you.
There's no point. Everyone'll
be at the festival.
All the local businesses shut down.
OK, well, what if I
brought us to the festival?
If you wanna work on your day
off, I'm not gonna stop you.
OK, great.
Uh!
Ladies only.
Oh, my God.
This is a good idea, right?
Yes, it's an excellent idea.
You don't have to hang around.
I don't want us both to
miss out on the festival.
I know how much you love...
woodchopping competitions.
No, I'm not missing out. I wanted to
come to the festival to be with you.
- Is Emma coming down?
- Yes, but not to work.
She's hanging out with her mum all day.
Well, I know, I can be your Em today.
What does she normally do?
You can make fun of me, if you like.
You got it.
- You're dumb.
- That's a bit harsh.
- Oh. No, I'm sorry.
- No, no, that's good.
Right.
Well, you're also not very good at sports.
- Really?
- No. Um... I mean yes.
It's fine. You'll get the hang of it.
Well? What do you think?
- Oh, sorry. Is this it?
- Yeah!
Great, right?
It doesn't even have a Brumby's.
No. There's no chain anything.
The bakery's just the Rosehaven Bakery.
Oh. We have a standing
order at our Brumby's.
Oh, Em, did I tell you?
Your father's decided he
doesn't like sultanas again.
I can't keep up.
Too late to cancel, so now
we're buried in hot cross buns!
- Sure, but... what do you think?
- What?
The town! What about it?
Do you like it?
- Well, do you like it?
- I love it.
- Well, that's good, then.
- And...?
Well, I guess there are
worse places to hide out.
I'm not hiding, Mum.
Emma, everyone's gotten over what happened.
- No need to feel embarrassed.
- I don't feel embarrassed.
People very rarely talk about it anymore.
I wouldn't be surprised
if they've forgotten
you were left on your honeymoon.
- I'd almost forgotten. Thanks, Mum.
- Josh is fine now.
He's with someone else.
No-one's mad at you.
No-one should be. He broke up with me.
Look, I really feel the best way
to put a full stop to
this whole messy business
is for you to come back.
And we'll get you a makeover.
- That'll show him.
- I don't want to show him.
Yes, initially I might have been hiding...
Until the heat died down, and now it has.
No. Now I just live here.
Oh.
OK. Well, why don't we go back into Hobart
and talk about it over a cappuccino?
- You just got here.
- Oh. OK.
Well, I... just thought I'd
seen it. You said this was it.
Oh, there's more. Come on.
What the heck is an emergency butcher?
- It's 3am minced beef is what it is.
- Oh.
I forgot I don't have a key to
the office, but I do work there.
I have business cards.
If Daniel's taking care
of you, that's fine,
but, you know, I'm not
going to give you any money.
- Your father doesn't think we should.
- I don't need it. I have a job.
If I was lying, I wouldn't have
come up with 'real estate agent'.
Daniel. Can you please tell
my mum that I have a job?
- Yes, she does.
- Thank you.
Hi, Pam. Good to see you again.
- Hello, Daniel.
- Oh, sorry. Oh...
I'm sorry. I didn't know
which greeting to go with.
No-one could tell.
- This is my partner, Grace.
- He says 'partner'.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Are you sure you're gonna
be OK without me today?
Yeah, yeah, fine. Grace
is filling in for you.
- Is she?
- Yeah, yeah. We're all good.
Enjoy the festival.
OK. Well... have fun.
- Bye.
- See you.
Gosh, she's very pretty, isn't she?
Must be so hard for you
to see them together.
And here we go again. No, Mum.
It's not, because he's my friend,
and I'm not in love with him.
It's just that when I describe
the situation to people,
it sounds like...
Yeah, well, 'pthfft!' sounds
like a fart, and it's not.
Ohh!
Hi. Would you be interested
in buying a 3-bedroom...
No? OK.
Uh, so, we've got an amazing
opportunity just up the road,
if you're...
Any luck?
One guy said he might stop by later,
but he looked up and to the left,
so I think he might be lying.
Ugh. I can't even get
someone to take a flyer.
It's almost like buying a house
isn't a hops festival thing.
Yeah. Yeah, this was... stupid.
- No. I'm sorry.
- No, no, Grace, it's fine.
Nice stall.
Stacey. Surprised to see you here.
Thought you hated all things Rosehaven.
I can't work in the information centre
if I don't keep up to date
with the local activities.
Grace.
Hi. Enjoying the festival?
I was in Rosstown for their
apple festival last week.
It was a lot better.
- Rosstown are scum!
- They don't even have many apples!
Why don't you move there
if you love it so much?
Jim's family's here. We got engaged.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
So it looks like I'm stuck here.
That must be really terrible for you.
And we're looking for a property.
- Sorry?
- We're looking to buy.
Our house isn't big enough
if we wanna have kids.
I... thought you were glowing.
- I'm not pregnant yet.
- Nor do you look it.
You look... great.
Listen, I have got a
3-bedroom just up the road
that could be just what you're looking for.
It's exceptionally priced,
it's on a great block of land,
and you could say
it's an excellent hop-portunity.
Sorry.
Yeah, alright. We'll come
down to the office next week.
Or we can go now.
You could have the pick of the
bedrooms. They're all empty now.
You could have Ryan's.
You've always wanted his room.
I did have his room, '98 to 2001.
- Oh.
- Wow. Mum, look at this.
They've been extinct for ages.
We should ask the Tassie
tiger man something.
Hello!
_
Shoot.
- Where was it?
- By my bins.
Cool.
You wanna ask something? My treat.
Why don't we catch up with my
friend Cindy in Battery Point?
It's right on the waterfront.
She said she'd be home this afternoon
and we're quite welcome to
stay the night, if we like.
You can catch up with friends anytime.
I'm gonna be in a small-town
costume competition.
It's the closest I'll get
to a graduation ceremony.
I'll tell her we'll see
how we're travelling later.
- Did you hear about John, Barbara?
- No.
He was cleaning out his shotgun,
looking down the barrel,
didn't realise it was loaded.
Anyway, he got bitten by a spider.
- Was off work three weeks.
- Mmm.
Barbara, this, dramatic pause,
is my mum, Pam.
Mum, this is Barbara.
- Hello.
- Nice to meet you.
- How was the flight?
- Oh, it was fine.
- Didn't like the snack very much.
- Oh. What was it?
- Muesli bar.
- Yeah, fair enough.
You're getting along!
Mum, Barbara loves
doing puzzles on a Sunday
and you love doing the Sunday crossword,
so you both love solving
things on weekends.
I do like to do the
crossword on the weekend.
Barbara, do you have other things
that you like to do on a Sunday?
I know how human interaction works, Emma.
Right. Sorry. Uh, I'll leave you to it.
I'm gonna go register for the competition.
I'll come with you.
- We've got a lot to discuss.
- No, no! You guys are bonding.
- Lovely to meet you, Barbara.
- You too, Pam.
Come along.
Look, we can't... Just...
We don't want to spend a fortune.
I think you'll find the
property is very good value.
I can't imagine any of them
going for that much around here.
Shall we make a move? HOP in?
Referring, of course, to the... hop
festival. I'm gonna stop doing it.
- Dr Howlett. I thought that was you.
- Hi, Graham.
I need to talk to you
about a lump in my throat.
My wife says it's anxiety but I'm
sure I've swallowed a small bone.
- Graham, I'm not your doctor anymore.
- It'll just take a moment.
Graham, I'm trying to show a house, sorry.
If you can come knock on
my door whenever you want,
it's only fair I can barge in on you.
Yeah, that was once. I offered you
a free appraisal and you insulted me.
Yeah, well, I want a free appraisal
now. But not from you, from Grace.
Well, too bad!
I don't like sitting in the middle.
You didn't have to come, Graham.
- _
- OLIVE: Thank you.
- Hi, Olive. Emma.
This is my mum, Pam.
Are you both here to join
the Neighbourhood Watch?
- No. I'm leaving tomorrow.
- Oh.
Just you, then? It's taken you long enough.
Paperwork's pretty self-explanatory.
We just need three forms of ID.
Much as I'd love to play
pretends that there's crime here,
no, I'm here to sign up
for the costume competition.
- What?
- I know, it's dumb.
But what am I gonna do, not
enter a costume competition?
Well, you can't.
- Can't what?
- Enter.
The competition isn't open to visitors.
Me? I'm not a visitor.
You weren't born here.
You've only been here a few months.
Is this because I didn't
join your stupid club?
Stupid, is it? Sounds like
something a visitor would say.
And no, it's tradition.
If we just start letting anybody
in the costume competition...
- But I live here.
- I've already said no.
- What's the hold-up?
- Can you move along, please?
- Hey, Olive. Frank.
- Hi, Matthew.
The brownies aren't moving
as fast as we'd hoped.
Mm.
It's not your fault,
Joan, you did a good batch.
We always knew the white chocolate
cupcakes would dominate this year.
Going to get your kit on?
Nah, I changed my mind,
I'm not gonna enter.
So my lounge room's a mess for no reason?
Yeah. Sorry.
I guarantee you won't find a fresher tart.
And get ready for the spectacle
of the Rosehaven Hops
Festival costume competition,
starting shortly.
I don't think that counts as petting.
He likes it.
I don't know why you're
gripping the goat so much.
You are a visitor.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Some of the most glamorous
people in the world
are guests or holidaymakers.
- I'm not on holiday.
- OK.
I'm just saying that if
you don't feel accepted here
you can always come home.
Your dad would love it too, I'm sure.
I don't want you to
waste your life down here.
You wanted to be a pilot once.
- That was Jane.
- Oh. Right.
And she is a pilot.
Oh, well.
I have a job here.
It seems like Daniel's doctor girlfriend
is fine with filling in for you.
And how long are you going
to stay at his mum's house?
Isn't it odd now that
he's not there anymore?
- If I came home...
- Hmm?
could I have a goat?
We could discuss that.
Alright.
We like it.
Great.
$290,000.
Uh, as a weirdly large deposit, or...?
No.
It's just, that's quite a bit
less than the owner is after.
Um, as I... as I said, he won't
consider anything below $320,000.
Well, that's what we're offering.
It's not Rosstown.
Right.
You're still right to
give us a lift home, right?
Uh, yeah. Just... give
me a second to lock up.
I told her it was
important that I keep the area dry.
Well, now she won't let me
use the hair dryer anymore.
How did you go?
- They made an offer.
- That's great!
Yeah.
I'd like to make one too.
- Really?
- Yes.
I'm looking for a new investment property.
$320,000.
That... that's great.
Well, I'm... I'm aware
it's at the lower range
of what it's advertised for...
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
That's... that's fine.
Um, thank you.
Uh, I will put that to the owner.
Good.
I'd like to be taken home now, please.
Yes, of course. Um, just
give me a second to finish up
and I'll be... I'll be right out.
- I'm gonna sell a house!
- No, you're not!
What? Why?
Oh, no, I was just being Em again.
- Oh, let's drop the teasing thing.
- Thank you.
- Well, you should tell her.
- Oh! The competition!
Um...
Welcome, everyone,
to Rosehaven's 23rd annual Hops
Festival costume competition!
We have a stellar line-up
today, don't we, Bruce?
We sure do, Maddrick.
And from what I can see backstage...
this is gonna be a hard one to judge.
No doubt. No doubt.
And on that note, please, everyone, a hand
for Olive, Frank and Anne
from the Neighbourhood Watch,
our resident judges.
Now, I'm excited, mate,
not just because we're
getting a slab of beer each
for hosting today's event...
It's one slab for both of you.
Sorry, just to be clear, that's
one slab that we have to share?
Yes.
Mate, this is bogus.
You're very lucky we're professionals.
Everybody else is busy with
their careers or their family
or careers and family,
but not you.
You and I could do things,
go out for meals, we could
have our eyebrows tinted.
- Yeah, I guess.
- Oh, it'll be great.
I'll order your favourite, stroganoff.
That's Sarah's favourite.
Oh, we can talk about
details over Asian fusion.
My friend Cindy has already made a booking.
Here you are. Let's go.
What? Why do you have that?
The competition! Why else would
I be carrying this bloody thing?
Olive said I couldn't enter.
Well, she's had a change of heart
since I threatened to start my own
neighbourhood watch with the RLA.
You're in. Let's go.
You did that?
Thanks.
But it's... a silly idea anyway.
Mum and I gonna go into Hobart
and have a bit of a chat about my future
over some... Asian fusion.
My friend Cindy knows a place.
Might get your house to yourself again.
But it was lovely to meet you.
- Hey. What are you doing here?
- It's started.
There's a guy dressed as a hop farmer.
Well, I think he is, he's just
wearing a flannel shirt and jeans.
I'm not gonna do it. Olive
said visitors can't enter.
I'm gonna go with mum and
talk about my future and stuff.
- We've got a lot to plan.
- What?
Yeah, maybe it's time to go
home, get my eyebrows tinted.
Em, you love Rosehaven more than most
of the people that were born here.
You... you're not a visitor.
We'd better get going if we
want to make that booking.
Right.
I'm wearing it, then, am I?
Well, someone's gotta
show off this handiwork.
I haven't shaved my legs in 15
years, so this'll be interesting.
I hope there's no
children in the front row.
Or... I could wear it?
You? You hate costumes.
More than being nude, and
you really hate being nude.
Only in front of other people.
Not you.
Plus, the town needs to see this...
- I assume it's a hop?
- Me too. I wanna wear it.
Even if it's been made
with that type of hot
glue that I'm allergic to.
- Mum?
- Oh, God, no.
I'm not wearing that
godawful thing! Are you mad?
Alright. Alright!
Thank you, Jessica,
for wearing the same costume
as the last... four years.
Yeah, poor effort.
But it does build anticipation
for our next entrant.
We have Matthew, with
the amazing drunk rabbit.
Oh!
He's hitting both the 'hops'
theme with the beer helmet,
but also a great play on the word 'hop',
because that is what rabbits do.
That's very clever.
No, I mean you, Bruce. I
never would've picked that up.
Here we have, dressed, from what
I can tell, as an actual hop...
Emma.
If you've been wondering what a
hop looks like, uh, there you go.
Whoo!
Yeah, a surprisingly
brave choice in the end.
Everyone chose something hop-themed,
Emma's gone straight to the source.
Oh! And a fall there from Emma.
Looks like she's...
Nuh, she's alright.
It was either an accident or...
perhaps she's trying to symbolise
how having too many hop-related beverages
makes you a bit wobbly on your feet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very...
very important message.
Another fantastic year
for the Rosehaven Hops
Festival costume competition.
Yes, and now that
we've got everyone assembled
we'd like to invite Olive up onto
the stage to announce the winner.
This year, the Rosehaven
Neighbourhood Watch,
one of the town's oldest...
and most important organisations,
would like to crown...
Trevor the winner.
Trevor, of course,
dressed as a bathroom scale
after losing all that weight
due to a terrible bout of
irritable bowel syndrome last year.
He swears it was hops that
enabled him to fight it off.
Bloody inspirational.
Onya, Trev.
Trevor! Trevor! Trevor! Trevor!
- The ghost? Yeah, it was great.
- Yeah.
- I lost!
- You should've won.
- Agreed.
- Good job, Em.
Thank you. But, oh, my God,
that guy so deserved to win.
The scales actually worked
if you stepped on him.
Really? That's pretty cool.
You know what else is cool?
I got an offer on Steve's house.
- Two.
- Two?! That's great!
- What'd he say?
- I was just gonna go tell him now.
Are you... all good?
- Good!
- OK.
What'd you think, Mum?
Uh...
- Did you like it?
- I loved it.
Mm.
Hello, Steve?
I have got excellent news, I got
two offers on your house today.
$320,000. I know it's at the lower
end of what you're after, but...
Yes, but... that doesn't mean...
No...
Yeah, I understand.
What time's Cindy expecting us?
Oh, I can see her anytime.
We should really stay and
celebrate your almost-win.
- If you want to.
- Oh, just for tonight.
I really just came over
to check you weren't living
under a bridge or anything,
and that you're doing OK.
But you really must come back to
Melbourne at some point, to visit.
At least, to get the rest of your things.
Sure.
You know, you can call me if you're lonely.
Not that you are, but...
just, if you want.
Hey.
- Ugh.
- What happened?
Steve said, because I
got two offers in one day,
that interest in his
property must be growing.
And... Venus has entered...
Pisces, or something.
OK. So?
He wants to have an auction.
Emma's been a great help
but we don't need a full-time
property manager anymore.
I quit.
Why does it have to be
me? Why am I disposable?
Can we please talk about this?
What about the auction?
Gonna get me a good price?
Well, your reserve is set at $320,000
but I'm hopeful we'll get well above that.
Can I get $300,000?
Does anyone have a double shoulder injury
that would prevent them
from raising their arms?
Oh! That's a nice drop.
Gerald's Rock Shiraz.
I've got one there for you if
you want to take it back with you.
Thank you.
You guys should exchange phone numbers.
Yes. Remind me to give you
one of Mum's business cards.
We could all go around wearing T-shirts
that say 'Best Friends Club'.
Or you two could shut up and
let us enjoy a glass of wine.
I agree.
So...
- It's just like The Golden Girls!
- I know!
edge of being sick of boiled eggs,
but... never happens.
- That's how I feel about you.
- Hmm?
Not that I think I'm gonna get
sick of you. I just... I mean...
I was trying to think
of something nice to say
that related to what you said,
but then I realised how it sounded.
It's fine. Thanks.
Em.
"Happy breakfast, loser."
Right on time. Shall we
ask her to stop doing that?
No, I deserve it. I left her
living with Mum on her own.
Mum's probably making her life miserable.
Are you ready?
I hope you're ready, 'cause it's
too late if you're not ready,
because here comes the big reveal!
What do you think?
- Great. You could be a model.
- You think?
Nah. This is a one-off.
I'm into making people feel good,
and the only time models make people
feel good is when they fall down.
Maybe I should fall down.
Sympathy is a great substitute for talent.
- What kind of catwalk do they have?
- There won't be a catwalk.
It's just a stage... if you're lucky.
Look, it's my first time
in the Rosehaven Hops
Festival costume competition.
Help me out. What are
the judges looking for?
I never go to the costume competition.
I'll be helping the Ladies
Auxiliary coordinate their stall.
Because you love craft and
cakes and doilies? Me too.
It's a great money-spinner
for the local charities.
Do you know what I love?
Your town has a costume contest
and not a beauty contest,
- we get the day off stupid work...
- You know I'm your boss?
- and you get to meet my mum.
- Your mum?
Yeah, sorry. Um, she's coming
down tomorrow, just for a night.
I thought she could stay in Dan's room.
Thanks for the notice.
Maybe you can offer her my room
and I can sleep on the porch.
You don't have to do that.
You're gonna love her. She's just like me.
Oh!
Did that look real?
It's not a very sexy product, is it, hops?
- It's a seed, right?
- It's a flower.
It's in beer. I thought you'd love it.
I love cake, but I wouldn't
go to a baking powder festival.
Yeah, but hops is used for heaps of stuff.
- Insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome...
- Well, great.
If Mum can't sleep and shits herself...
Are you nervous about her coming down?
Nah. Someone from the family
had to visit eventually,
just to check I'm not living under a
bridge or eating drugs or something.
And she probably misses you.
You don't have to do that.
You've met her. She's
nice. We're just not close.
- Yeah, fair enough.
- She had five kids.
By the time I came along,
I'd be pretty over it too.
- Sorry.
- Why? It was the best.
I could do whatever I wanted.
My family already had a smart kid,
a musical kid, a buff kid,
so buggerlugs here didn't
have to be anything.
A buff kid?
But obviously I am looking forward
to her seeing how great I am doing,
and then telling everyone
how great I am doing.
Steve. My favourite client.
How are you? Fine.
So, my house has been
for sale for a while now.
Yes. Sorry about that.
I'm doing everything I
can to get it out there,
including putting the photo
of it up on the display window
at about the height of the average person,
which is 170cm, according to the internet.
Yes. The thing is I've been investigating
how I can take advantage of
certain planetary movements
over the next few days.
OK.
And with Neptune opposing Pluto,
now's the perfect time for a change.
Right.
So, if we don't have an offer
within the next couple of days,
it's time for me to change agents.
The next couple of days?
Steve, the office is closed
tomorrow for the festival.
Well, I don't know what to tell you.
That's what I'm getting from the charts.
Yes, but...
Hopefully, the change they
predict will be an offer,
but it's not an exact science.
Well, it's not a science at all.
- What was that?
- Nothing.
Mum, Steve's given me until tomorrow...
Why didn't you tell me you
were having a cake meeting?
They're for the RLA stall. They want
me to taste them before tomorrow.
Fantastic! I'm starving.
No, only RLA members can
taste them before the festival.
- Can I join the RLA?
- Sure.
- Sweet!
- Can I join too?
No. It's the Rosehaven LADIES Auxiliary.
Doesn't seem fair.
We can discuss inclusivity
right after I eat some free cake for women.
What's up?
Steve's given me until tomorrow
to find a buyer for his house.
You've done what you can.
If Steve wants to be impatient,
that's on him, not you.
Well, what if the office
stayed open tomorrow?
- Just in case someone comes in.
- No way!
- I'll run it by myself.
- I support you.
There's no point. Everyone'll
be at the festival.
All the local businesses shut down.
OK, well, what if I
brought us to the festival?
If you wanna work on your day
off, I'm not gonna stop you.
OK, great.
Uh!
Ladies only.
Oh, my God.
This is a good idea, right?
Yes, it's an excellent idea.
You don't have to hang around.
I don't want us both to
miss out on the festival.
I know how much you love...
woodchopping competitions.
No, I'm not missing out. I wanted to
come to the festival to be with you.
- Is Emma coming down?
- Yes, but not to work.
She's hanging out with her mum all day.
Well, I know, I can be your Em today.
What does she normally do?
You can make fun of me, if you like.
You got it.
- You're dumb.
- That's a bit harsh.
- Oh. No, I'm sorry.
- No, no, that's good.
Right.
Well, you're also not very good at sports.
- Really?
- No. Um... I mean yes.
It's fine. You'll get the hang of it.
Well? What do you think?
- Oh, sorry. Is this it?
- Yeah!
Great, right?
It doesn't even have a Brumby's.
No. There's no chain anything.
The bakery's just the Rosehaven Bakery.
Oh. We have a standing
order at our Brumby's.
Oh, Em, did I tell you?
Your father's decided he
doesn't like sultanas again.
I can't keep up.
Too late to cancel, so now
we're buried in hot cross buns!
- Sure, but... what do you think?
- What?
The town! What about it?
Do you like it?
- Well, do you like it?
- I love it.
- Well, that's good, then.
- And...?
Well, I guess there are
worse places to hide out.
I'm not hiding, Mum.
Emma, everyone's gotten over what happened.
- No need to feel embarrassed.
- I don't feel embarrassed.
People very rarely talk about it anymore.
I wouldn't be surprised
if they've forgotten
you were left on your honeymoon.
- I'd almost forgotten. Thanks, Mum.
- Josh is fine now.
He's with someone else.
No-one's mad at you.
No-one should be. He broke up with me.
Look, I really feel the best way
to put a full stop to
this whole messy business
is for you to come back.
And we'll get you a makeover.
- That'll show him.
- I don't want to show him.
Yes, initially I might have been hiding...
Until the heat died down, and now it has.
No. Now I just live here.
Oh.
OK. Well, why don't we go back into Hobart
and talk about it over a cappuccino?
- You just got here.
- Oh. OK.
Well, I... just thought I'd
seen it. You said this was it.
Oh, there's more. Come on.
What the heck is an emergency butcher?
- It's 3am minced beef is what it is.
- Oh.
I forgot I don't have a key to
the office, but I do work there.
I have business cards.
If Daniel's taking care
of you, that's fine,
but, you know, I'm not
going to give you any money.
- Your father doesn't think we should.
- I don't need it. I have a job.
If I was lying, I wouldn't have
come up with 'real estate agent'.
Daniel. Can you please tell
my mum that I have a job?
- Yes, she does.
- Thank you.
Hi, Pam. Good to see you again.
- Hello, Daniel.
- Oh, sorry. Oh...
I'm sorry. I didn't know
which greeting to go with.
No-one could tell.
- This is my partner, Grace.
- He says 'partner'.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Are you sure you're gonna
be OK without me today?
Yeah, yeah, fine. Grace
is filling in for you.
- Is she?
- Yeah, yeah. We're all good.
Enjoy the festival.
OK. Well... have fun.
- Bye.
- See you.
Gosh, she's very pretty, isn't she?
Must be so hard for you
to see them together.
And here we go again. No, Mum.
It's not, because he's my friend,
and I'm not in love with him.
It's just that when I describe
the situation to people,
it sounds like...
Yeah, well, 'pthfft!' sounds
like a fart, and it's not.
Ohh!
Hi. Would you be interested
in buying a 3-bedroom...
No? OK.
Uh, so, we've got an amazing
opportunity just up the road,
if you're...
Any luck?
One guy said he might stop by later,
but he looked up and to the left,
so I think he might be lying.
Ugh. I can't even get
someone to take a flyer.
It's almost like buying a house
isn't a hops festival thing.
Yeah. Yeah, this was... stupid.
- No. I'm sorry.
- No, no, Grace, it's fine.
Nice stall.
Stacey. Surprised to see you here.
Thought you hated all things Rosehaven.
I can't work in the information centre
if I don't keep up to date
with the local activities.
Grace.
Hi. Enjoying the festival?
I was in Rosstown for their
apple festival last week.
It was a lot better.
- Rosstown are scum!
- They don't even have many apples!
Why don't you move there
if you love it so much?
Jim's family's here. We got engaged.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
So it looks like I'm stuck here.
That must be really terrible for you.
And we're looking for a property.
- Sorry?
- We're looking to buy.
Our house isn't big enough
if we wanna have kids.
I... thought you were glowing.
- I'm not pregnant yet.
- Nor do you look it.
You look... great.
Listen, I have got a
3-bedroom just up the road
that could be just what you're looking for.
It's exceptionally priced,
it's on a great block of land,
and you could say
it's an excellent hop-portunity.
Sorry.
Yeah, alright. We'll come
down to the office next week.
Or we can go now.
You could have the pick of the
bedrooms. They're all empty now.
You could have Ryan's.
You've always wanted his room.
I did have his room, '98 to 2001.
- Oh.
- Wow. Mum, look at this.
They've been extinct for ages.
We should ask the Tassie
tiger man something.
Hello!
_
Shoot.
- Where was it?
- By my bins.
Cool.
You wanna ask something? My treat.
Why don't we catch up with my
friend Cindy in Battery Point?
It's right on the waterfront.
She said she'd be home this afternoon
and we're quite welcome to
stay the night, if we like.
You can catch up with friends anytime.
I'm gonna be in a small-town
costume competition.
It's the closest I'll get
to a graduation ceremony.
I'll tell her we'll see
how we're travelling later.
- Did you hear about John, Barbara?
- No.
He was cleaning out his shotgun,
looking down the barrel,
didn't realise it was loaded.
Anyway, he got bitten by a spider.
- Was off work three weeks.
- Mmm.
Barbara, this, dramatic pause,
is my mum, Pam.
Mum, this is Barbara.
- Hello.
- Nice to meet you.
- How was the flight?
- Oh, it was fine.
- Didn't like the snack very much.
- Oh. What was it?
- Muesli bar.
- Yeah, fair enough.
You're getting along!
Mum, Barbara loves
doing puzzles on a Sunday
and you love doing the Sunday crossword,
so you both love solving
things on weekends.
I do like to do the
crossword on the weekend.
Barbara, do you have other things
that you like to do on a Sunday?
I know how human interaction works, Emma.
Right. Sorry. Uh, I'll leave you to it.
I'm gonna go register for the competition.
I'll come with you.
- We've got a lot to discuss.
- No, no! You guys are bonding.
- Lovely to meet you, Barbara.
- You too, Pam.
Come along.
Look, we can't... Just...
We don't want to spend a fortune.
I think you'll find the
property is very good value.
I can't imagine any of them
going for that much around here.
Shall we make a move? HOP in?
Referring, of course, to the... hop
festival. I'm gonna stop doing it.
- Dr Howlett. I thought that was you.
- Hi, Graham.
I need to talk to you
about a lump in my throat.
My wife says it's anxiety but I'm
sure I've swallowed a small bone.
- Graham, I'm not your doctor anymore.
- It'll just take a moment.
Graham, I'm trying to show a house, sorry.
If you can come knock on
my door whenever you want,
it's only fair I can barge in on you.
Yeah, that was once. I offered you
a free appraisal and you insulted me.
Yeah, well, I want a free appraisal
now. But not from you, from Grace.
Well, too bad!
I don't like sitting in the middle.
You didn't have to come, Graham.
- _
- OLIVE: Thank you.
- Hi, Olive. Emma.
This is my mum, Pam.
Are you both here to join
the Neighbourhood Watch?
- No. I'm leaving tomorrow.
- Oh.
Just you, then? It's taken you long enough.
Paperwork's pretty self-explanatory.
We just need three forms of ID.
Much as I'd love to play
pretends that there's crime here,
no, I'm here to sign up
for the costume competition.
- What?
- I know, it's dumb.
But what am I gonna do, not
enter a costume competition?
Well, you can't.
- Can't what?
- Enter.
The competition isn't open to visitors.
Me? I'm not a visitor.
You weren't born here.
You've only been here a few months.
Is this because I didn't
join your stupid club?
Stupid, is it? Sounds like
something a visitor would say.
And no, it's tradition.
If we just start letting anybody
in the costume competition...
- But I live here.
- I've already said no.
- What's the hold-up?
- Can you move along, please?
- Hey, Olive. Frank.
- Hi, Matthew.
The brownies aren't moving
as fast as we'd hoped.
Mm.
It's not your fault,
Joan, you did a good batch.
We always knew the white chocolate
cupcakes would dominate this year.
Going to get your kit on?
Nah, I changed my mind,
I'm not gonna enter.
So my lounge room's a mess for no reason?
Yeah. Sorry.
I guarantee you won't find a fresher tart.
And get ready for the spectacle
of the Rosehaven Hops
Festival costume competition,
starting shortly.
I don't think that counts as petting.
He likes it.
I don't know why you're
gripping the goat so much.
You are a visitor.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Some of the most glamorous
people in the world
are guests or holidaymakers.
- I'm not on holiday.
- OK.
I'm just saying that if
you don't feel accepted here
you can always come home.
Your dad would love it too, I'm sure.
I don't want you to
waste your life down here.
You wanted to be a pilot once.
- That was Jane.
- Oh. Right.
And she is a pilot.
Oh, well.
I have a job here.
It seems like Daniel's doctor girlfriend
is fine with filling in for you.
And how long are you going
to stay at his mum's house?
Isn't it odd now that
he's not there anymore?
- If I came home...
- Hmm?
could I have a goat?
We could discuss that.
Alright.
We like it.
Great.
$290,000.
Uh, as a weirdly large deposit, or...?
No.
It's just, that's quite a bit
less than the owner is after.
Um, as I... as I said, he won't
consider anything below $320,000.
Well, that's what we're offering.
It's not Rosstown.
Right.
You're still right to
give us a lift home, right?
Uh, yeah. Just... give
me a second to lock up.
I told her it was
important that I keep the area dry.
Well, now she won't let me
use the hair dryer anymore.
How did you go?
- They made an offer.
- That's great!
Yeah.
I'd like to make one too.
- Really?
- Yes.
I'm looking for a new investment property.
$320,000.
That... that's great.
Well, I'm... I'm aware
it's at the lower range
of what it's advertised for...
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
That's... that's fine.
Um, thank you.
Uh, I will put that to the owner.
Good.
I'd like to be taken home now, please.
Yes, of course. Um, just
give me a second to finish up
and I'll be... I'll be right out.
- I'm gonna sell a house!
- No, you're not!
What? Why?
Oh, no, I was just being Em again.
- Oh, let's drop the teasing thing.
- Thank you.
- Well, you should tell her.
- Oh! The competition!
Um...
Welcome, everyone,
to Rosehaven's 23rd annual Hops
Festival costume competition!
We have a stellar line-up
today, don't we, Bruce?
We sure do, Maddrick.
And from what I can see backstage...
this is gonna be a hard one to judge.
No doubt. No doubt.
And on that note, please, everyone, a hand
for Olive, Frank and Anne
from the Neighbourhood Watch,
our resident judges.
Now, I'm excited, mate,
not just because we're
getting a slab of beer each
for hosting today's event...
It's one slab for both of you.
Sorry, just to be clear, that's
one slab that we have to share?
Yes.
Mate, this is bogus.
You're very lucky we're professionals.
Everybody else is busy with
their careers or their family
or careers and family,
but not you.
You and I could do things,
go out for meals, we could
have our eyebrows tinted.
- Yeah, I guess.
- Oh, it'll be great.
I'll order your favourite, stroganoff.
That's Sarah's favourite.
Oh, we can talk about
details over Asian fusion.
My friend Cindy has already made a booking.
Here you are. Let's go.
What? Why do you have that?
The competition! Why else would
I be carrying this bloody thing?
Olive said I couldn't enter.
Well, she's had a change of heart
since I threatened to start my own
neighbourhood watch with the RLA.
You're in. Let's go.
You did that?
Thanks.
But it's... a silly idea anyway.
Mum and I gonna go into Hobart
and have a bit of a chat about my future
over some... Asian fusion.
My friend Cindy knows a place.
Might get your house to yourself again.
But it was lovely to meet you.
- Hey. What are you doing here?
- It's started.
There's a guy dressed as a hop farmer.
Well, I think he is, he's just
wearing a flannel shirt and jeans.
I'm not gonna do it. Olive
said visitors can't enter.
I'm gonna go with mum and
talk about my future and stuff.
- We've got a lot to plan.
- What?
Yeah, maybe it's time to go
home, get my eyebrows tinted.
Em, you love Rosehaven more than most
of the people that were born here.
You... you're not a visitor.
We'd better get going if we
want to make that booking.
Right.
I'm wearing it, then, am I?
Well, someone's gotta
show off this handiwork.
I haven't shaved my legs in 15
years, so this'll be interesting.
I hope there's no
children in the front row.
Or... I could wear it?
You? You hate costumes.
More than being nude, and
you really hate being nude.
Only in front of other people.
Not you.
Plus, the town needs to see this...
- I assume it's a hop?
- Me too. I wanna wear it.
Even if it's been made
with that type of hot
glue that I'm allergic to.
- Mum?
- Oh, God, no.
I'm not wearing that
godawful thing! Are you mad?
Alright. Alright!
Thank you, Jessica,
for wearing the same costume
as the last... four years.
Yeah, poor effort.
But it does build anticipation
for our next entrant.
We have Matthew, with
the amazing drunk rabbit.
Oh!
He's hitting both the 'hops'
theme with the beer helmet,
but also a great play on the word 'hop',
because that is what rabbits do.
That's very clever.
No, I mean you, Bruce. I
never would've picked that up.
Here we have, dressed, from what
I can tell, as an actual hop...
Emma.
If you've been wondering what a
hop looks like, uh, there you go.
Whoo!
Yeah, a surprisingly
brave choice in the end.
Everyone chose something hop-themed,
Emma's gone straight to the source.
Oh! And a fall there from Emma.
Looks like she's...
Nuh, she's alright.
It was either an accident or...
perhaps she's trying to symbolise
how having too many hop-related beverages
makes you a bit wobbly on your feet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very...
very important message.
Another fantastic year
for the Rosehaven Hops
Festival costume competition.
Yes, and now that
we've got everyone assembled
we'd like to invite Olive up onto
the stage to announce the winner.
This year, the Rosehaven
Neighbourhood Watch,
one of the town's oldest...
and most important organisations,
would like to crown...
Trevor the winner.
Trevor, of course,
dressed as a bathroom scale
after losing all that weight
due to a terrible bout of
irritable bowel syndrome last year.
He swears it was hops that
enabled him to fight it off.
Bloody inspirational.
Onya, Trev.
Trevor! Trevor! Trevor! Trevor!
- The ghost? Yeah, it was great.
- Yeah.
- I lost!
- You should've won.
- Agreed.
- Good job, Em.
Thank you. But, oh, my God,
that guy so deserved to win.
The scales actually worked
if you stepped on him.
Really? That's pretty cool.
You know what else is cool?
I got an offer on Steve's house.
- Two.
- Two?! That's great!
- What'd he say?
- I was just gonna go tell him now.
Are you... all good?
- Good!
- OK.
What'd you think, Mum?
Uh...
- Did you like it?
- I loved it.
Mm.
Hello, Steve?
I have got excellent news, I got
two offers on your house today.
$320,000. I know it's at the lower
end of what you're after, but...
Yes, but... that doesn't mean...
No...
Yeah, I understand.
What time's Cindy expecting us?
Oh, I can see her anytime.
We should really stay and
celebrate your almost-win.
- If you want to.
- Oh, just for tonight.
I really just came over
to check you weren't living
under a bridge or anything,
and that you're doing OK.
But you really must come back to
Melbourne at some point, to visit.
At least, to get the rest of your things.
Sure.
You know, you can call me if you're lonely.
Not that you are, but...
just, if you want.
Hey.
- Ugh.
- What happened?
Steve said, because I
got two offers in one day,
that interest in his
property must be growing.
And... Venus has entered...
Pisces, or something.
OK. So?
He wants to have an auction.
Emma's been a great help
but we don't need a full-time
property manager anymore.
I quit.
Why does it have to be
me? Why am I disposable?
Can we please talk about this?
What about the auction?
Gonna get me a good price?
Well, your reserve is set at $320,000
but I'm hopeful we'll get well above that.
Can I get $300,000?
Does anyone have a double shoulder injury
that would prevent them
from raising their arms?
Oh! That's a nice drop.
Gerald's Rock Shiraz.
I've got one there for you if
you want to take it back with you.
Thank you.
You guys should exchange phone numbers.
Yes. Remind me to give you
one of Mum's business cards.
We could all go around wearing T-shirts
that say 'Best Friends Club'.
Or you two could shut up and
let us enjoy a glass of wine.
I agree.
So...
- It's just like The Golden Girls!
- I know!