Rosehaven (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Episode #2.5 - full transcript

Mrs Marsh, do we have any fancy paper?

I wanted to write a letter
to Steve to thank him

for listing his house with me.

No.

Does anywhere else in the
office have some or...?

Good morning.

You're late, again. I know. Sorry.

Damien and I had a competition to
see who could sleep in the longest

but still get to work on time.

So you lost?

I was gonna win



but I forgot I asked him to
draw a goatee on me last night.

Right.

Took ages to get it off,
then Damien gave me a lift in

because he felt guilty about the goatee,

and because he's the best boyfriend ever

and because I don't pick up
my new car until tomorrow.

Sorry, what?

Yeah. I bought a car last night.

You bought a car?

Yeah! Emma is mobile!

Look out, world.

Well, Tasmania.

Or the mainland if I put it on the ferry.

Did you even do any
research? What type of car?



I dunno. Blue.

You don't impulse buy a car.

- And yet I have.
- Ugh.

What did you and Grace
get up to last night?

Watched TV.

Cool.

I don't want to nag but I really
need you here on time at the moment.

I'm gonna be leaning on you a bit more

so I can focus on selling Steve's house.

You've got it. What can I do?

Just handle everything
related to rentals, I guess.

Can do. Consider me

head captain rental.

Let's go with property manager in public.

Hi, Steve. Good to see you.
I was just talking about you.

I wasn't talking about you. I
was talking about your property.

I was talking about how I
was gonna sell your property.

What can I... what can I do... for you?

I have a problem with my neighbour.

76 Cyclicet Road.

That's a rental you manage?

Uh, it is, yes.

If you're having any
difficulties with a tenant,

Emma is our resident...

Rent boss.

She'll be happy to help you out.

My neighbour has a mirror
hanging above their door

and it is blasting negative energy

directly into my house.

That's a new one.

So Steve, this mirror...

It's pointed straight at me.

I mean, I'm a reasonable
person but I have my limits.

Of course.

This kind of energy pollution
is ignorant and irresponsible.

I've worked hard to create
a balance in my home space,

one that's conducive to both
gentle meditation and astral travel.

I can't have this.

I've always wanted to astral travel.

No airports.

We'll get her to take it down.

Good. Do you think I could
afford to be cancelling meetings

so I can stay home burning
lavender to realign my house's chi?

No?

No.

Oh, sorry, Steve, just quickly, I was

hoping to go to your property today

to get some photos for our advertising.

No photos until this is fixed.

Bad energy in the photos.

Of course.

Leave it with us.

All part of the service.

What was that? Do you think he's joking?

Is this some kind of test?

You knew he was into that stuff.

Yeah, but I thought it was just
affirmations and good luck charms,

not magic mirrors.

I wonder if he does spells.

76 Cyclicet Road.

Oh, thank God. It's
Gez. I'll go talk to her.

No, I've got this.

I'm the tenant...

I'm David Tennant manager.

That was terrible.

You take that back. He is everything.

No, the name's terrible.
I like David Tennant.

Oh, I thought of a cool name for you.

- Yeah?
- Shitface.

It's one of these?

I thought it'd be bigger.

No, I got a bunch of them dropped in.

Put one up at home. I paid for it.

I don't just take home things that I like.

Someone told me they reflect negative
energy and so I thought, why not?

That's what Steve said.

Apparently the mirror's
blasting negative energy

straight into his house.

He wants you to take it down.

Oh.

I mean, I...

..I don't want him to
feel uncomfortable, so I...

Yeah. I'll take it down
as soon as I get home.

I know it's dumb but having it up has

kind of made it feel nicer at home.

- Did it?
- It's silly.

I don't think so.

I go to psychics sometimes.

- Really?
- Yeah.

It's no different than
going to church, right?

I mean, some people might
like to listen to a man

talk about a man in the sky.

I'd rather listen to a woman
in a purple dress talk about me

for half an hour.

It makes me feel better.

Yeah. Why not? What's the harm in it?

Exactly.

I kind of wish I didn't have
to take the mirror down now.

Mum, have a listen to this.

"Charming and subtle,
this two-bedroom oasis..."

Why oasis?

Uh, sounds nice?

You haven't said what
kind of property it is.

Is it a house, an apartment, a castle?

At the moment we've got a
two-bedroom spot in the desert

where you find water.

I'll change that.

"This two-bedroom house nestled
in the outer rim of Rosehaven

"is perfect for a young family or
singles who love entertaining..."

Why young family and why only
singles who love entertaining?

I'll take that out.

"Boasting two glorious bedrooms..."

Take out 'boasting'. Everyone uses it.

I will.

"A sumptuous kitchen..."

It's got an expensive kitchen, has it?

It's... OK.

I'll take that out.

"This property has a real wow factor."

I'll take that out too.

I also wrote Steve a
letter just to thank him

for choosing me as his agent.

I thought it might add
a nice personal touch.

'Appreciation' has one C.

What?

Hey. How did you go with Gez? All sorted?

She says hi.

OK. Obviously I say hi back.

Will she take down the mirror?

Nope.

You said you'd take care of it.

Why should she have to take it down

and get all that negative
energy in her place?

You mean you actually believe in that crap?

Maybe. If it didn't do anything,
why would they make them?

Are you serious? So many reasons.

What's going on?

Daniel's trying to make
me sell out a tenant.

Em's trying to stuff up my tenant...

What's going on?

Steve's worried that a mirror
hanging above his neighbour's door

is blasting negative energy into his house.

Which it's not.

Google says it's just diffusing
and dispersing it into harmless air.

- You can't prove that.
- You can't prove it's not.

Just because something's
invisible and unprovable

doesn't mean it's not real.

That's exactly what it means.

Well, who cares if it's
real or not? Gez pays rent.

Why shouldn't she be allowed to
have a mirror up if she wants?

Because we said so.

You're a property manager, she's a tenant.

Just tell her the landlord would prefer

no outdoor dressings or something.

It doesn't matter.

What's important is selling Steve's house.

Important to you maybe.
Tenants have rights too.

Mum, will you please tell
her she's being unreasonable?

No, because she's right.

Yes! Suck it, Shitface.

Steve's right too.

You believe in that stuff?

No, but if Steve does,
you should listen to him.

I had a client once who wanted
me to remove a satellite dish

because she was convinced
it was gonna attract aliens.

That's not true, is it?

What did you do?

I went and spoke to her and
said I understood the issue,

but fortunately that particular
satellite dish was too small

to attract any aliens.

And that worked?

Yeah. Sometimes people just
need to be taken seriously.

Imagine if aliens landed on earth

and the first alien that
comes out of the ship is naked.

We'd think, "That's
normal. Aliens are naked."

Then a second alien comes out
of the ship wearing clothes.

He's like, "Gary, what are you doing?"

Shh, shh.

Hello, Steve Larsen speaking.

Hi, Steve, it's Daniel here
from McCallum Real Estate.

Yes. Has she taken it down?

Not yet. And can I just say, I
am as upset about this as you are.

That'd be hard but thank you.

No, thank you for bringing
it to my attention.

Now, in terms of solutions...

She takes it down.

Or I've actually been doing some research

and might have some alternative ideas.

For example, you could
put up a mirror of your own

and trap the energy in
between the two properties.

So, the negative energy
just bounces back and forth.

Or, uh...

Or, um, place a bowl of salt

in each corner of the house

which faces the north-east
and south-west directions.

So you mean on top of the bowls
of salt I already have there or...?

Yeah, so that was... that was a joke. Um...

I've got an article here

by a doctor of, um, wellness.

Wind chimes on the left
hand side of your door

could diffuse the negative beams

and encourage financial
success into your life.

Wind chimes!

Would you put a band-aid
over a transcendental field?

Um, transcendental fields can be tricky.

But... I don't need advice.

I need action.

If you need some help with your motivation,

get some fluorite, tourmaline,
haematite and black onyx.

Do you want me to see if the
milk bar has any black onyx?

Let's go talk to Gez.

You'd change sides for me?

I'm not changing sides.

I'm just saying we could have
a similar discussion with her

and maybe she'd be happy
with one of the alternatives.

Yes, great idea. Thanks, Em.

But I will be there to
protect her rights as a tenant

because I am Lord Rentington III.

I thought of a name for myself.

You don't like Shitface?

King Sells-A-Lot.

Oh, yeah. Where's your crown?

Sold it.

Nice.

Are you sure this wind chime
thing will have the same effect?

Yeah, according to a doctor...

..of wellness.

But if you have any issues with your

transcendental fields, let us know.

Look, I'm happy with the
wind chime thing instead

if it's bothering him that much.

It's more of a comfort thing, really.

I didn't know you believed
in this stuff, Daniel.

Yeah, well, they wouldn't make
them if they didn't do anything.

So you'll take down the
mirror as soon as you get home?

- Yes.
- Oh, thank you, Gez.

If I sell this house, I'll give you half.

I appreciate that.

Are we done here?

Can I get off work early?

By the time we get back to the office,

it'll almost be nearly five o'clock.

I'm going to Damien's.

Yeah, Em, it's fine.

You know that game with the tower of blocks

where you try to pull them
out without it falling over?

- Yeah.
- We're doing that with encyclopedias.

You guys want to come?

I can't. I've got book club. Online.

I'm hosting the stream.

Grace has got to get up early
tomorrow for a conference,

so I think we'll just
have dinner and go to bed.

So, the same thing you do every night?

Well, sometimes we watch
a movie if it's a Friday.

Or just sit together.

You sit together?

Oh, sorry, I thought you were
gonna say something boring.

Nice.

You can do activities with anyone.

It's the quieter moments where
a good relationship shines.

- What do you mean by that?
- Nothing. I just...

I think she's asking if you're
saying that her relationship's

not as good as yours.

- Thank you, Gez. I wasn't saying that.
- We're better. We have fun.

- Do you and Grace not have fun?
- Yes, we have fun.

We just don't need to fill every
second of every day with activities.

Do you know what? You're not invited
to encyclopedia Jenga anymore.

Well, to be fair, I
didn't want to come, so...

Gez, I was... I was joking
before about giving you half.

Hm?

Half of the sale of the house.

I was joking before about...

Doesn't matter. See ya.

Yes! Thank you, J to K.

This isn't disrespectful
to, like, knowledge, is it?

No, we're not burning them.

Hey, we'd still have fun if we
weren't doing anything, right?

Like when we're sleeping.

No.

When was the last time
you and I had a night in?

Now?

No, I mean a night in just sitting around.

Like at the pub.

Yeah, but without heaps
of alcohol and at home.

Um...

Um...

Grace...

- Are you bored?
- Hmm?

No, I love biomedical engineering.
I can't wait for the conference.

Oh, no, sorry. I meant, um...

..with us.

No, why?

Well, you know, I just feel like...

..we come home and we... go to bed.

We do do that.

Yes. Are we stuck in a rut already?

Well...

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Are you OK?

- Sorry.
- Ow!

Maybe we need more
padding for dodgem chairs.

Noted.

We talk about stuff, right?

Like what we're gonna do next.

Yeah.

You know what?

We're never gonna run out of things
to do, so it doesn't matter anyway.

It's Gez. You think of the next activity.

- Invent a new smell.
- Sounds good!

Hey, Gez. What's up?

You did what?

What's got you so worried tonight?

I just...

Emma and Damien are doing stuff constantly

and Em's always rolling her eyes at me

when I tell her we're doing nothing.

Well, I mean, it's not a Friday but...

..maybe we could watch a movie?

Do you want to?

I kind of just want to go to bed.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, sorry.

It's Em.

Hey, Em. Sorry about before.

Hang on. Slow down.

Oh, shit.

Steve, I understand you wanted to
stop the flow of negative energy

as soon as possible,

but Gez was gonna take down the
mirror as soon as she got home.

If she was going to take it down anyway,

why am I in trouble for taking
it down a little bit earlier?

Because you ripped it off her
front door and threw it in a bush.

Yeah, look, it's done now.

I think if you and I go over and apologise,

we can put this whole thing behind us.

Steve, thank you so much for doing this.

Oh.

Unbelievable.

What do you think of that, mate?

And if you touch even one of them,
I've got three more boxes in here.

Wait, Steve.

I can't deal with this.

Oh.

Maybe Jaffas are too hard for this game.

One more try.

- Ow!
- Ooh, sorry.

She's put 20 up.

What?

- Hi, Dan.
- Damien.

- Do you want a Frangelico?
- No, thank you.

What are you talking about?

Mirrors. Her door is covered in
them. It looks like a disco ball.

Steve's furious.

Well, he should have thought of
that before he touched her property.

Em, can you please just get
Gez to put the wind chimes up.

She won't listen to me.

Steve keeps going on and
on about negative energy.

Seems to me he's the
one creating all of it.

I'm trying to sell a house!

If you get him to apologise to Gez

and I'll see what I can do.

I tried and now he's gone to his
sister's house and he won't come back

until the energy field is neutralised.

I'm not supposed to call
him until this is fixed.

Then I don't know what to tell you.

I'm gonna go to Gez's work
tomorrow and I'm not gonna leave

until this is sorted.

- It's getting ridiculous.
- Not without me you're not.

- Fine.
- Fine!

See ya, Dan.

Bye, Damien.

All he cares about is selling that house.

I've always wondered about that stuff.

What?

You know, karma. Negative energy.

You know, maybe it's all real
and we just can't prove it yet.

I hear what you're saying.

We should do an experiment.

I didn't know I was saying that, but sure.

Great, I'll drive.

Morning, Mrs Marsh.

Morning, Emma.

You're late again. You
won't answer your phone.

We need to go visit Gez.

No need.

She taken the mirrors down?

No. Even better.

Damien and I went into
Steve's place last night.

You... What?

He wasn't there, remember?

And get this, no negative vibes at all.

Positive, if anything.

We actually dozed off at one point.

You slept there?

Only for, like, an hour or
so. No bad dreams either.

I had a really pleasant one
where I could play the guitar.

Do you know what you've done?

Thought I did.

You've broken the law.

Breaking and entering...

What? We didn't break or take anything.

Got bored and did some cleaning, actually.

Oh, that's the worst thing you
can do as a real estate agent, OK?

We're trusted with keys.

We didn't use a key.

Damien picked the lock.

That's worse.

Alright. Now that I
think about it, maybe...

He'll never know. We were
just in there for a bit.

It's just that Damien and I thought...

Damien agrees with everything you suggest.

You're enablers for each
other. It's not healthy.

- We're just having fun.
- You committed a crime last night.

You keep mocking Grace
and I for being boring.

- I think you're jealous.
- As if.

You're worried deep down you and
Damien aren't right for each other,

so you fill every waking
moment with activities,

and they're getting worse.

So you'd rather me be
with someone like Josh

who shuts me down all the time?

Damien likes that I'm fun.

Fine. Do whatever you want.

But just don't bring the
business down with you.

I think we messed up.

Did we miss a spot cleaning?

No, we just... shouldn't have gone.

Maybe...

..we should cool it on
the activities for a bit.

OK.

- Or we could...
- Oh, God, what? Yes, let's do it.

Actually, I think I just want to go home.

Go home?

Yeah.

OK.

No! No, no, no!

What's it like?

We have to break up!

What?

I'm gonna die!

If we stay together, I'm gonna die.

I know it. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.

I would never let that happen.

I know, but we're always
gonna suggest crazy things

and we're always gonna say yes

and one day it's gonna be juggling
flaming chainsaws or eating poison

or something and I'll die, I know it.

I'm sorry.

That's OK.

I'm pretty tired.

Friends?

Friends.

Do you want a lift home?

No.

Mrs Marsh, I'm going to the op shop.

If Em comes back, tell
her I'm really sorry,

I waited as long as I could

but I'm worried Steve's gonna
drop me if I don't fix this.

Righto.

Thanks.

Steve.

Good to see you. I was
just about to head to the...

I won't keep you long.

Oh.

I came back this morning...

I don't think my house
was empty last night.

Really?

Yes.

It felt different.

Had a nicer smell,

more polished and vibrant, cleaner.

An ordinary person wouldn't have noticed

but I'm highly sensitive to these things.

Right.

Look, I'm not too proud
to admit when I'm wrong.

The extra mirrors have shown
me that whatever they're doing,

they're bringing a lightness
and positivity into my home.

Wow.

I want the mirrors to stay up.

OK.

Great.

I think they'll get us a
better price for it too.

Probably, yeah.

So... you're happy with me as your agent?

I'm doing a survey.

- Sure.
- Great.

And you don't mind if I come by later today

to get some photos of your property?

Today is a perfect time to take the photos.

Of course, because of the...

..the energy and...

Yeah. Oh, Steve, um...

I have written you something.

'Immediately' has one A.

- I don't want to talk about it.
- Em.

Damien and I broke up.

Oh, Em, I'm so sorry.

- I didn't mean to...
- No.

You were right. We were
burning the candle at both ends,

and then cutting the candle in half
and burning both ends of each half

and then throwing them into a furnace.

Are you OK?

Yeah. When I was on top
of that car on a bike...

- What?
- Nothing.

..I just realised it's for the best.

And I'm really grateful that
you're gonna be there for me

for the break-up fallout,

and to drive me around again
because I'm getting rid of the car.

How did Damien take it?

OK. He said he was pretty tired.

I just came back from Gez's house.

What happened?

I rang her and we both agreed
the wind chimes are better.

She let me take down all of the mirrors.

We have to go.

Where?

- To put them all back up.
- What?

How was everyone's day?

Good.

The conference was amazing.

They're currently working on
this new attachment to your phone

that can test for male infertility.

Like a... like a case or something?

It's like a large box that
you attach to your phone

and you put your sperm into.

- So you masturbate into the box?
- Oh, God.

What if you get a phone call?

Well, I guess you would put your...

Thanks, Grace. Daniel, did you
put the listing up for sale today?

Yes, I did.

I have written the ad,
put up all the photos.

Did all the... bowls of salt.

I am ready to sell my first house.

- Show me.
- Yeah.

"For inquiries, contact Daniel McCallum."

Congratulations!

It's like you've had a baby.

Well, I'm a very fertile... agent.

You spelt 'house' wrong!

No!

You didn't.

- But you did use the wrong 'there'.
- What?

- Yes!
- What?

Bruce will have to find a new place,

and guess who he's going to come to.

This could be the perfect opportunity

to build a bridge between you and Bruce.

I'm happy to make amends.

After my revenge.

Why did you have to pick
on him so much at school?

I've got a more advanced sense of humour.

I don't think Daniel saw it that way.

Danny.

It's Daniel, actually.

Hey, check it out. Gez gave me one.

Now I'm immune to negative energy.

Come at me. Be negative.

- You're the worst.
- Cha-ching.

- Ah, no, now I'm the worst.
- Ha!

What if it hits you in the back?

Excuse me.