Robot Chicken (2001–…): Season 6, Episode 19 - Choked on a Bottle Cap - full transcript
The writers have the Humping Robot attack the U.S. Navy in Battlehump; We show what an intervention would look like for M.A.D. Cat; Our minds imagine how The Thundercats learn about estrus.
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Sawing ]
[ Electricity crackles ]
It's alive!
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Smooch! ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Inhales sharply ]
I'll never let go!
[ Crying ]
Oh, Jack, at least you're
resting in peace now.
[ Lyrical music playing ]
[ Electricity crackles ]
[ Dolphin chittering ]
[ Chittering continues ]
[ Lyrical music continues ]
[ Seals calling ]
[ Laughs ]
Revenge, bitch!
[ Singsong voice ] B-b-b-b-blam!
Victory dance!
Touchdown stance!
In your pants!
What -- oh, oh, you're not
the same cow, are you?
I guess we all just look alike to you.
[ Whirring weakly ]
[ Snorting ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Whirring loudly ]
I'll get you next time, gadget!
[ Cat screeches ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Crying ]
[ Squish! ]
Is that cat piss on my chair?!
Damn it!
When you visit a website, the information
is saved in files called cookies.
Cookies!
[ Munching loudly ]
Ow!
Why you say "cookies"?!
[ Munching loudly ]
Aren't you going to stop?
[ Crying ] I can't!
[ Beeping ]
My God, this is a greeting
from another planet!
This is an historic moment!
[ Beeping ]
Huh. The textbooks are
gonna love that one.
[ Beeping ]
Huh.
[ Beeping ]
[ Beeping ]
Well, maybe hump means something
different in their language.
What do they want, man?!
I wish I knew, officer Rihanna.
[ Clattering ]
They're humping holes in the hull!
Huh.
Turns out hump in their
language means hump.
[ Machine gun cocks ]
I don't have any idea how to
work the gatling gun, child!
Is, uh, is it over?
[ Ominous music playing ]
How on earth do we stop that thing?
I have an idea!
Rihanna, you're just a
multi-platinum recording artist.
How could you possibly help?
Wait a minute.
We need counterintuitive thinking,
and Rihanna has some
of the worst judgment of all time!
Chris brown beat her, so
she broke up with him.
But then they got back together!
That's insane!
She's a genius!
Yeah. [ Chuckles nervously ]
So... thanks!
We've done as Rihanna suggested, sir.
Epcot center is now filled
with nuclear warheads.
Is that really necessary?
Trust me, man, only one thing gonna
attract a giant, humping robot.
Operation ass crack is a go!
[ Clattering ]
Whoa, it's really Chris Browning
the hell out of Epcot center!
[ Clattering continues ]
O-M-G, Kirby, I was such a pig today.
I ate like 50 pieces of fruit.
Yoshi, puh-lease!
I literally inhaled 20 enemies.
Thank God I exhaled most of them.
[ Gasps ]
Are you still doing that?!
You promised you wouldn't
binge and purge anymore!
Cuh-lick!
Kirby does not need that noise today.
[ Vomits ]
Hey, it's none of my business,
but, uh, you have a problem.
[ Moaning loudly ]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Can't I be on top for once?
Everyone, rest up!
In the morning, we start the
long trip home to confront
hopper and his evil gang.
[ All cheering ]
Excuse me.
Uh, Mr. mayfly, can you keep it down?
We have -- we have a
really big day tomorrow.
Oh, really?
Well, my entire life span is three
hours, so [bleep] your big day.
Oh, man, at last!
I've already been alive for a half-hour,
and I need to get pregnant, like, now!
Oh, yeah!
[ Grunting ]
Oh!
Oh, my God, this is the
best sex of my whole life!
[ Moaning, laughing ]
Aah!
Get it out of me!
[ Screaming ]
Look, I've got at least 47
good minutes left in me, and I'll
be damned if I'm gonna waste 'em!
You're a midlife cliché!
[ Moaning ]
Oh, what was the point of it all?!
Live, reproduce, die!
[ Crying ]
It's a sick joke!
A sick [Chokes]
Oh! [ Moans ]
[ Sighs ] Finally.
Whoo! Party time!
Oh [bleep] me!
[ Sizzles ]
[ All murmuring ]
My ancestors were samurai.
Samurai us an onion volcano, pal!
He is a samurai.
I just need to use the bathroom.
Uh, is there, like, a toilet in
here, or am I supposed to use
this giant [bleep] litter box?
Oh, is this, like, an improv thing?
You know I hate improv.
No, it'll be fun.
Thousands of us are gonna
show up at the same time!
This better be as cool as
you're making it seem.
I'll telling you, you are gonna
love being part of a flash mob.
So hip!
Sticking it to conformity, yeah!
Look how shocked the normals are!
[ All screaming ]
[ Laughs ]
This is the best one I've had in years.
Well, it was not me!
[ Warbling ]
Pluto, do you feel you've
been rehabilitated?
This room must be huge!
[ Indistinct moaning ]
You were right to lock up Cheetara
and Wilykit, Thundercats.
They are under the spell of estrus!
An evil spell?
Mumm-ra!
It means they're in heat, lion-o.
No one is to unlock that door
until the spell has passed!
Whew!
Okay, okay, just got to
keep our minds off it.
Let's see what's on the old sword today.
[ Electronic warbling ]
[ Moaning ]
Don't do this, lion-o.
Put down the sword.
Put it -- oh, that's so hot!
Lion-O, what are you looking at?!
Uh, nothing!
I'm checking on mumm-ra!
I really hope that's not true.
Oh, you're right!
I can't control myself!
No one can!
I'm doing this!
Wait, Thundercats, think!
If you do this, you'll just be
animals, mindlessly gratifying
your impulses!
Yeah, we're fine with that.
Cool, I was just checking, obviously.
We're going in there.
Ah, sorry, Thundercats.
You'll have to do rock-paper-scissors
for sloppy seconds.
Snarf! Snarf!
[Bleep] gross!
Once we wrap up the Gladstone account,
we're gonna need another CPA.
Sounds great.
What's your number again?
324-762... uh-huh.
Oh, oh, son of a bitch.
I accidently set -- I'm so embarrassed.
You should leave.
Hey, happens all the time.
[ Electronic whirring ]
For six months, I couldn't sleep.
I was living in a dream
house, but I couldn't dream.
I kept wondering how I got here.
When did I start caring about
the dinner-to-dessert tabletop,
the matching pink home exercise set,
the fashion fairy-tale glitterizer?
Oh, I have a crazy day today.
I'm delivering a baby at the
hospital, then swinging by NASA
for the launch, then racing to aerobics.
I was just a secondary
feature in her girl-power,
have-it-all world.
I was an accessory.
We all felt it.
Allan Sherwood and I just gave it a name.
The first rule of Fight Club --
you do not talk about Fight Club!
The second rule of Fight Club--
you do not talk about Fight Club!
[ Beep ]
Yeah, you think the first
two rules don't need to be
identical, but then there's people like you!
Anyway, the third rule is, no
shoes, no shirts, including
Hawaiians.
Both: Aw.
And absolutely no Swiss-yodeling outfits!
Fourth rule -- hitting the
crouch is okay 'cause let's face
it, we're all smooth down there.
Okay, let's fight!
[ All cheering ]
Your first night of Fight Club,
your ass was a wad of play-doh.
By the end of that week, you looked like
you were cut out of molded plastic.
Fight Club became the reason we
stayed in shape, trimmed our
nails, did our hair.
Wait, wait!
Is my hair okay?!
Yeah, it hasn't even moved.
All right, cool, cool.
Let's go.
[ All cheering ]
It was our place to finally get
it all out and let it all go.
I hate that you pick out my clothes!
I hate that the mortgage for the
dream house is in your name!
I hate never getting
to drive the corvette!
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
[ Vomits ]
At Fight Club, we all got our lives back.
'Cause our new nihilist world
view taught us to stop caring
about that which did not matter.
Can you believe we used
to buy into that [bleep]
[ All scoffing, chuckling ]
[ Indistinct shouting ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Sawing ]
[ Electricity crackles ]
It's alive!
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Smooch! ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Inhales sharply ]
I'll never let go!
[ Crying ]
Oh, Jack, at least you're
resting in peace now.
[ Lyrical music playing ]
[ Electricity crackles ]
[ Dolphin chittering ]
[ Chittering continues ]
[ Lyrical music continues ]
[ Seals calling ]
[ Laughs ]
Revenge, bitch!
[ Singsong voice ] B-b-b-b-blam!
Victory dance!
Touchdown stance!
In your pants!
What -- oh, oh, you're not
the same cow, are you?
I guess we all just look alike to you.
[ Whirring weakly ]
[ Snorting ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Whirring loudly ]
I'll get you next time, gadget!
[ Cat screeches ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Crying ]
[ Squish! ]
Is that cat piss on my chair?!
Damn it!
When you visit a website, the information
is saved in files called cookies.
Cookies!
[ Munching loudly ]
Ow!
Why you say "cookies"?!
[ Munching loudly ]
Aren't you going to stop?
[ Crying ] I can't!
[ Beeping ]
My God, this is a greeting
from another planet!
This is an historic moment!
[ Beeping ]
Huh. The textbooks are
gonna love that one.
[ Beeping ]
Huh.
[ Beeping ]
[ Beeping ]
Well, maybe hump means something
different in their language.
What do they want, man?!
I wish I knew, officer Rihanna.
[ Clattering ]
They're humping holes in the hull!
Huh.
Turns out hump in their
language means hump.
[ Machine gun cocks ]
I don't have any idea how to
work the gatling gun, child!
Is, uh, is it over?
[ Ominous music playing ]
How on earth do we stop that thing?
I have an idea!
Rihanna, you're just a
multi-platinum recording artist.
How could you possibly help?
Wait a minute.
We need counterintuitive thinking,
and Rihanna has some
of the worst judgment of all time!
Chris brown beat her, so
she broke up with him.
But then they got back together!
That's insane!
She's a genius!
Yeah. [ Chuckles nervously ]
So... thanks!
We've done as Rihanna suggested, sir.
Epcot center is now filled
with nuclear warheads.
Is that really necessary?
Trust me, man, only one thing gonna
attract a giant, humping robot.
Operation ass crack is a go!
[ Clattering ]
Whoa, it's really Chris Browning
the hell out of Epcot center!
[ Clattering continues ]
O-M-G, Kirby, I was such a pig today.
I ate like 50 pieces of fruit.
Yoshi, puh-lease!
I literally inhaled 20 enemies.
Thank God I exhaled most of them.
[ Gasps ]
Are you still doing that?!
You promised you wouldn't
binge and purge anymore!
Cuh-lick!
Kirby does not need that noise today.
[ Vomits ]
Hey, it's none of my business,
but, uh, you have a problem.
[ Moaning loudly ]
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Can't I be on top for once?
Everyone, rest up!
In the morning, we start the
long trip home to confront
hopper and his evil gang.
[ All cheering ]
Excuse me.
Uh, Mr. mayfly, can you keep it down?
We have -- we have a
really big day tomorrow.
Oh, really?
Well, my entire life span is three
hours, so [bleep] your big day.
Oh, man, at last!
I've already been alive for a half-hour,
and I need to get pregnant, like, now!
Oh, yeah!
[ Grunting ]
Oh!
Oh, my God, this is the
best sex of my whole life!
[ Moaning, laughing ]
Aah!
Get it out of me!
[ Screaming ]
Look, I've got at least 47
good minutes left in me, and I'll
be damned if I'm gonna waste 'em!
You're a midlife cliché!
[ Moaning ]
Oh, what was the point of it all?!
Live, reproduce, die!
[ Crying ]
It's a sick joke!
A sick [Chokes]
Oh! [ Moans ]
[ Sighs ] Finally.
Whoo! Party time!
Oh [bleep] me!
[ Sizzles ]
[ All murmuring ]
My ancestors were samurai.
Samurai us an onion volcano, pal!
He is a samurai.
I just need to use the bathroom.
Uh, is there, like, a toilet in
here, or am I supposed to use
this giant [bleep] litter box?
Oh, is this, like, an improv thing?
You know I hate improv.
No, it'll be fun.
Thousands of us are gonna
show up at the same time!
This better be as cool as
you're making it seem.
I'll telling you, you are gonna
love being part of a flash mob.
So hip!
Sticking it to conformity, yeah!
Look how shocked the normals are!
[ All screaming ]
[ Laughs ]
This is the best one I've had in years.
Well, it was not me!
[ Warbling ]
Pluto, do you feel you've
been rehabilitated?
This room must be huge!
[ Indistinct moaning ]
You were right to lock up Cheetara
and Wilykit, Thundercats.
They are under the spell of estrus!
An evil spell?
Mumm-ra!
It means they're in heat, lion-o.
No one is to unlock that door
until the spell has passed!
Whew!
Okay, okay, just got to
keep our minds off it.
Let's see what's on the old sword today.
[ Electronic warbling ]
[ Moaning ]
Don't do this, lion-o.
Put down the sword.
Put it -- oh, that's so hot!
Lion-O, what are you looking at?!
Uh, nothing!
I'm checking on mumm-ra!
I really hope that's not true.
Oh, you're right!
I can't control myself!
No one can!
I'm doing this!
Wait, Thundercats, think!
If you do this, you'll just be
animals, mindlessly gratifying
your impulses!
Yeah, we're fine with that.
Cool, I was just checking, obviously.
We're going in there.
Ah, sorry, Thundercats.
You'll have to do rock-paper-scissors
for sloppy seconds.
Snarf! Snarf!
[Bleep] gross!
Once we wrap up the Gladstone account,
we're gonna need another CPA.
Sounds great.
What's your number again?
324-762... uh-huh.
Oh, oh, son of a bitch.
I accidently set -- I'm so embarrassed.
You should leave.
Hey, happens all the time.
[ Electronic whirring ]
For six months, I couldn't sleep.
I was living in a dream
house, but I couldn't dream.
I kept wondering how I got here.
When did I start caring about
the dinner-to-dessert tabletop,
the matching pink home exercise set,
the fashion fairy-tale glitterizer?
Oh, I have a crazy day today.
I'm delivering a baby at the
hospital, then swinging by NASA
for the launch, then racing to aerobics.
I was just a secondary
feature in her girl-power,
have-it-all world.
I was an accessory.
We all felt it.
Allan Sherwood and I just gave it a name.
The first rule of Fight Club --
you do not talk about Fight Club!
The second rule of Fight Club--
you do not talk about Fight Club!
[ Beep ]
Yeah, you think the first
two rules don't need to be
identical, but then there's people like you!
Anyway, the third rule is, no
shoes, no shirts, including
Hawaiians.
Both: Aw.
And absolutely no Swiss-yodeling outfits!
Fourth rule -- hitting the
crouch is okay 'cause let's face
it, we're all smooth down there.
Okay, let's fight!
[ All cheering ]
Your first night of Fight Club,
your ass was a wad of play-doh.
By the end of that week, you looked like
you were cut out of molded plastic.
Fight Club became the reason we
stayed in shape, trimmed our
nails, did our hair.
Wait, wait!
Is my hair okay?!
Yeah, it hasn't even moved.
All right, cool, cool.
Let's go.
[ All cheering ]
It was our place to finally get
it all out and let it all go.
I hate that you pick out my clothes!
I hate that the mortgage for the
dream house is in your name!
I hate never getting
to drive the corvette!
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
[ Vomits ]
At Fight Club, we all got our lives back.
'Cause our new nihilist world
view taught us to stop caring
about that which did not matter.
Can you believe we used
to buy into that [bleep]
[ All scoffing, chuckling ]
[ Indistinct shouting ]