Robot Chicken (2001–…): Season 6, Episode 11 - Eviscerated Post-Coital by a Six Foot Mantis - full transcript
Robot Chicken creates a new Sesame Street character; The Mario Bros. spend all those gold coins they've collected; What we imagine Pinky and the Brain would do if they had a wild night on the town.
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Sawing ]
[ Electricity crackles ]
It's alive!
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Smooch! ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
No! Not pop rocks and soda!
You'll die if you try it!
Ah, that's just an urban legend.
[ Munching ]
[ Fizzing ]
Gee, brain, what are we gonna do tonight?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
[ Rock music playing ]
[ Engine turns over ]
[ Tires screech ]
[ Glass shatters ]
[ Glass shatters ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Tires screech ]
[ Crash ]
[ Siren wails ]
[ Machine gunfire ]
[ Tires screech ]
Those ugly mice sure can sleep a lot.
Yeah, we've been injecting
them with synthetic PCP for
months, and they haven't shown any
aggressive tendencies at all.
Huh.
Well, let's up the dosage.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Yes. Yes!
[ Slow-motion laugh ]
Toby, sometimes when we have
trouble recalling our childhood,
it's because we're repressing some
painful trauma from the past.
Now, close your eyes and try to remember.
What happened to you?
[ Crying ]
♪ Magic pants ♪
♪ oh, magic pants ♪
♪ the love I'm gonna give you
is deep inside my pants ♪
In 9 hours and 23
minutes, you'll be mine.
[ Laughs ]
♪ The love I'm gonna give you
is deep inside my pants ♪
Oh, it's terrible.
I think I can help.
♪ Dance, magic dance ♪
I don't -- I don't think this is working.
[ Laughs ]
It's working.
[ Laughs evilly ]
And now back to "The Land Before Time."
[ Birds chirping ]
So, uh, when's that party
supposed to start?
I think we can just show up whenever.
This has been "The Land Before Time."
Well, howdy, new friend.
I'm Ricky recycle bin.
Recycle my asshole!
If it would help save the
planet, you bet I would!
Uh, excuse me, sir?
No bottlecaps.
Eh, no big deal.
Recycling is good for the environment.
Hey, thanks, guys.
Oh, but this is PVC plastic type 3.
I accept types 1 and 2 only.
For the last time, no dirty pizza boxes
or polyethylene-coated coffee cups.
I'm trying, all right?
You don't have to be a dick about it.
I'm being a dick about
it for the children!
Hey, dip[bleep]
What part of "Cut up cardboard
boxes into two-foot by two-foot
squares, bundle them with twine,
and leave them out on the third
Tuesday of every other month
only" don't you understand?!
Sheesh.
Now I understand why you're so grouchy.
Do you?
I love you, little brother, but
now it's time for me to seek
my fortune out in the world.
Give mom a kiss for me, will you?
Hey, thanks for the ride.
I'm going to --
Hey, what are you doing? [ Bones crunch ]
Nooooooo!
You don't know me at all, man.
You don't know anything about me.
[ Alarm beeping ]
[ Chatter ]
You are free to go.
[ Alarm beeping ]
[ Clears throat ]
The morning commute is looking smooth
at the criss-cross crash interchange.
Whoops. No, folks.
A slight fender bender
in the number four lane.
I suggest an alternate route.
Grandpa, where's the
delete key on this thing?
[ Sighs ]
Whoa! That's cool!
I hate your entire generation.
Ah!
Wait a minute!
Luigi, all-a these gold coins!
They're everywhere!
Why are we wasting our
lives in the sewers?
Our new lives are starting now!
[ Rap music playing ]
[ Explosion ]
Mario, your new place is awesome!
[ Explosion ]
Oh. Sorry, bro.
Hey-a, not to worry.
There's a-plenty more
where that came from.
Me and-a Mario, we get-a
used to the finer things.
Now, about you show me how to
use that-a honker of yours.
Uh, I don't know.
Oh, ding-ding-ding!
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding!
Now I'm-a sleepy.
[ Doorbell rings ]
Hey.
You guys used to come by on a
pretty regular basis, but I
haven't seen you in awhile.
We take-a the lady.
How about you order yourself
a nice mail-order bride?
[ Laughs ]
Now scram, capiche?
[ Sighs ]
You-a were war-velous.
Oh, mamma [bleep] mia.
Mario, the mortgage, she's-a due!
Everybody wants a piece of the Mario.
[ Grunting ]
Mario!
Come on!
Come on, you son of a bitch!
[ Sobs ]
Mario.
It's-a over.
Hey, any chance you want to kidnap
me and put me up in your castle?
No way, princess.
I'm spoken for now.
[ Ting! Ting! Ting! ]
And that's why daddy and uncle
Luigi are plumbers and we
live here instead of a big, fancy house.
Shut up-a your face!
Right. Big money. Big money.
No whammies. No whammies.
And stop!
[ Buzzer sounds ]
We are gathered here in remembrance
of Ted, a total loser.
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, my own funeral.
That's funny.
Here's his obituary.
"Born, sucked, died.
He's survived by his family.
And his chlamydia."
I don't even know how I got chlamydia.
Because I [Bleep] your wife!
Oops!
Look who put their costume on inside out.
[Bleep] you, bizarro!
What's going on?
Are we, like, under attack?
Oh, my God!
Look!
Are you getting this, man?
Wait! What's that in his hands?
[ Growls ]
Where all humans come from?
Me so scared!
It's a madhouse!
Oh, wait. White balance off slightly.
Hey!
You can't do that!
We're the scared ones recording you!
[ Growls ]
Humans shut up!
Me sell found footage for movie!
Make six figures!
It's not about the money, you monster!
It's about art!
That bull[bleep]
Art and commerce often intersect --
Aaah!
Oh, no!
My friend!
No! My camera!
It looks like rain.
It looks like horse.
It looks like volcano.
Very good.
You get a lollipop.
Hey! Lollipop!
I can't get it out of my head, colonel.
The things they did to me over there.
Tell us what we want to know!
Rambo, John.
[ Mumbling ] 936--
Always with the mumbling.
You sound like this!
[ Babbling ]
Rambo, John.
[ Mumbling ] 936--
Oh, no.
Not again!
Please!
And now back to Whitney.
Sex joke toilet seat?
Wacky neighbors!
No more! No more!
Aaaaah!
Your hair's so thick and pretty
even in this humid jungle
atmosphere.
What kind of product you use?!
Rambo, John.
93601--
We have ways of making you talk.
"Twilight," by Stephenie Meyer.
You wouldn't dare.
"I never thought I'd [bleep] a vampire."
[ Gagging ]
He's trying to swallow his own tongue!
Stop him!
You've been a prisoner for weeks,
but you still ripped as hell.
You focus on core?
What's your routine?
I won't tell you anything.
You'll tell us what we want
to know or you'll play
"E.T.: The video game"!
No! No!
[ Music playing ]
No.
No! No!
Not again!
Aaaah!
Stop him!
He's trying to remove his
own eyes with the joystick!
[ Babbles ]
You must forgive my friend for
being so harsh, Mr. Rambo.
To make you feel more at home,
we washed your beloved bandana.
We know it the sum total that
separates your character from
rocky.
Now please enjoy the food and music.
[ Slow music plays ]
[ Sung to Rick Astley's
"Never Gonna Give You Up" ]
♪ Gonna never let you out ♪
♪ of my rape dungeon ♪
You got rickrolled, American swine!
[ Laughs ]
Oh, no!
Will you talk?
No.
[ Slow music plays ]
No, no.
Not mummenschanz.
Don't make me watch this!
Geneva convention!
Geneva convention!
You beard so finely manicured.
You must have sculpting tools.
Stop it!
Where your sculpting tools?!
[ Gasps ]
Oh, please tell me they're
not pooping in that cup.
[ Farts ]
Oh, God. They are.
Rambo, John. 936--
Okay, look, Rambo.
We out of ideas here.
Please just tell us what we want to know!
Did somebody finally
learn the word "Please"?
That's all you had to say!
Our troops locations are on
microfilm sewn into my scrotum.
I'll drive.
You guys got any good eight-tracks?
You bet your bandana we
got good eight-tracks.
You gave them our troop positions?!
We lost the war!
Did they have "Zeppelin IV"?
Yeah, that is a stone groove.
This a stone groove.
♪ Gonna never let you out
of our rape dungeon ♪
♪ never gonna tell your
folks where you got to ♪
Whoo!
♪ My rape ♪
♪ my rape dungeon ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Raaaaah!
Me so sorry. [ Sobs ]
Tell me mom I love her.
Stop doing that!
You don't get to do that!
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Sawing ]
[ Electricity crackles ]
It's alive!
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
[ Smooch! ]
[ Laughs evilly ]
No! Not pop rocks and soda!
You'll die if you try it!
Ah, that's just an urban legend.
[ Munching ]
[ Fizzing ]
Gee, brain, what are we gonna do tonight?
The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
[ Rock music playing ]
[ Engine turns over ]
[ Tires screech ]
[ Glass shatters ]
[ Glass shatters ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Tires screech ]
[ Crash ]
[ Siren wails ]
[ Machine gunfire ]
[ Tires screech ]
Those ugly mice sure can sleep a lot.
Yeah, we've been injecting
them with synthetic PCP for
months, and they haven't shown any
aggressive tendencies at all.
Huh.
Well, let's up the dosage.
[ Laughs evilly ]
Yes. Yes!
[ Slow-motion laugh ]
Toby, sometimes when we have
trouble recalling our childhood,
it's because we're repressing some
painful trauma from the past.
Now, close your eyes and try to remember.
What happened to you?
[ Crying ]
♪ Magic pants ♪
♪ oh, magic pants ♪
♪ the love I'm gonna give you
is deep inside my pants ♪
In 9 hours and 23
minutes, you'll be mine.
[ Laughs ]
♪ The love I'm gonna give you
is deep inside my pants ♪
Oh, it's terrible.
I think I can help.
♪ Dance, magic dance ♪
I don't -- I don't think this is working.
[ Laughs ]
It's working.
[ Laughs evilly ]
And now back to "The Land Before Time."
[ Birds chirping ]
So, uh, when's that party
supposed to start?
I think we can just show up whenever.
This has been "The Land Before Time."
Well, howdy, new friend.
I'm Ricky recycle bin.
Recycle my asshole!
If it would help save the
planet, you bet I would!
Uh, excuse me, sir?
No bottlecaps.
Eh, no big deal.
Recycling is good for the environment.
Hey, thanks, guys.
Oh, but this is PVC plastic type 3.
I accept types 1 and 2 only.
For the last time, no dirty pizza boxes
or polyethylene-coated coffee cups.
I'm trying, all right?
You don't have to be a dick about it.
I'm being a dick about
it for the children!
Hey, dip[bleep]
What part of "Cut up cardboard
boxes into two-foot by two-foot
squares, bundle them with twine,
and leave them out on the third
Tuesday of every other month
only" don't you understand?!
Sheesh.
Now I understand why you're so grouchy.
Do you?
I love you, little brother, but
now it's time for me to seek
my fortune out in the world.
Give mom a kiss for me, will you?
Hey, thanks for the ride.
I'm going to --
Hey, what are you doing? [ Bones crunch ]
Nooooooo!
You don't know me at all, man.
You don't know anything about me.
[ Alarm beeping ]
[ Chatter ]
You are free to go.
[ Alarm beeping ]
[ Clears throat ]
The morning commute is looking smooth
at the criss-cross crash interchange.
Whoops. No, folks.
A slight fender bender
in the number four lane.
I suggest an alternate route.
Grandpa, where's the
delete key on this thing?
[ Sighs ]
Whoa! That's cool!
I hate your entire generation.
Ah!
Wait a minute!
Luigi, all-a these gold coins!
They're everywhere!
Why are we wasting our
lives in the sewers?
Our new lives are starting now!
[ Rap music playing ]
[ Explosion ]
Mario, your new place is awesome!
[ Explosion ]
Oh. Sorry, bro.
Hey-a, not to worry.
There's a-plenty more
where that came from.
Me and-a Mario, we get-a
used to the finer things.
Now, about you show me how to
use that-a honker of yours.
Uh, I don't know.
Oh, ding-ding-ding!
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding!
Now I'm-a sleepy.
[ Doorbell rings ]
Hey.
You guys used to come by on a
pretty regular basis, but I
haven't seen you in awhile.
We take-a the lady.
How about you order yourself
a nice mail-order bride?
[ Laughs ]
Now scram, capiche?
[ Sighs ]
You-a were war-velous.
Oh, mamma [bleep] mia.
Mario, the mortgage, she's-a due!
Everybody wants a piece of the Mario.
[ Grunting ]
Mario!
Come on!
Come on, you son of a bitch!
[ Sobs ]
Mario.
It's-a over.
Hey, any chance you want to kidnap
me and put me up in your castle?
No way, princess.
I'm spoken for now.
[ Ting! Ting! Ting! ]
And that's why daddy and uncle
Luigi are plumbers and we
live here instead of a big, fancy house.
Shut up-a your face!
Right. Big money. Big money.
No whammies. No whammies.
And stop!
[ Buzzer sounds ]
We are gathered here in remembrance
of Ted, a total loser.
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, my own funeral.
That's funny.
Here's his obituary.
"Born, sucked, died.
He's survived by his family.
And his chlamydia."
I don't even know how I got chlamydia.
Because I [Bleep] your wife!
Oops!
Look who put their costume on inside out.
[Bleep] you, bizarro!
What's going on?
Are we, like, under attack?
Oh, my God!
Look!
Are you getting this, man?
Wait! What's that in his hands?
[ Growls ]
Where all humans come from?
Me so scared!
It's a madhouse!
Oh, wait. White balance off slightly.
Hey!
You can't do that!
We're the scared ones recording you!
[ Growls ]
Humans shut up!
Me sell found footage for movie!
Make six figures!
It's not about the money, you monster!
It's about art!
That bull[bleep]
Art and commerce often intersect --
Aaah!
Oh, no!
My friend!
No! My camera!
It looks like rain.
It looks like horse.
It looks like volcano.
Very good.
You get a lollipop.
Hey! Lollipop!
I can't get it out of my head, colonel.
The things they did to me over there.
Tell us what we want to know!
Rambo, John.
[ Mumbling ] 936--
Always with the mumbling.
You sound like this!
[ Babbling ]
Rambo, John.
[ Mumbling ] 936--
Oh, no.
Not again!
Please!
And now back to Whitney.
Sex joke toilet seat?
Wacky neighbors!
No more! No more!
Aaaaah!
Your hair's so thick and pretty
even in this humid jungle
atmosphere.
What kind of product you use?!
Rambo, John.
93601--
We have ways of making you talk.
"Twilight," by Stephenie Meyer.
You wouldn't dare.
"I never thought I'd [bleep] a vampire."
[ Gagging ]
He's trying to swallow his own tongue!
Stop him!
You've been a prisoner for weeks,
but you still ripped as hell.
You focus on core?
What's your routine?
I won't tell you anything.
You'll tell us what we want
to know or you'll play
"E.T.: The video game"!
No! No!
[ Music playing ]
No.
No! No!
Not again!
Aaaah!
Stop him!
He's trying to remove his
own eyes with the joystick!
[ Babbles ]
You must forgive my friend for
being so harsh, Mr. Rambo.
To make you feel more at home,
we washed your beloved bandana.
We know it the sum total that
separates your character from
rocky.
Now please enjoy the food and music.
[ Slow music plays ]
[ Sung to Rick Astley's
"Never Gonna Give You Up" ]
♪ Gonna never let you out ♪
♪ of my rape dungeon ♪
You got rickrolled, American swine!
[ Laughs ]
Oh, no!
Will you talk?
No.
[ Slow music plays ]
No, no.
Not mummenschanz.
Don't make me watch this!
Geneva convention!
Geneva convention!
You beard so finely manicured.
You must have sculpting tools.
Stop it!
Where your sculpting tools?!
[ Gasps ]
Oh, please tell me they're
not pooping in that cup.
[ Farts ]
Oh, God. They are.
Rambo, John. 936--
Okay, look, Rambo.
We out of ideas here.
Please just tell us what we want to know!
Did somebody finally
learn the word "Please"?
That's all you had to say!
Our troops locations are on
microfilm sewn into my scrotum.
I'll drive.
You guys got any good eight-tracks?
You bet your bandana we
got good eight-tracks.
You gave them our troop positions?!
We lost the war!
Did they have "Zeppelin IV"?
Yeah, that is a stone groove.
This a stone groove.
♪ Gonna never let you out
of our rape dungeon ♪
♪ never gonna tell your
folks where you got to ♪
Whoo!
♪ My rape ♪
♪ my rape dungeon ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Raaaaah!
Me so sorry. [ Sobs ]
Tell me mom I love her.
Stop doing that!
You don't get to do that!