Robot Chicken (2001–…): Season 4, Episode 13 - Unionizing Our Labor - full transcript
Superman takes it all off. Meet the original Dukes of Hazzard. The creators imagine what the new Wii game would look like. The Smurfs take on the Snorks.
[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
[ electricity crackling ]
lt's alive!
Oh, no,
got an eyelash!
Ugh!
Oh, man,
it's in my eye!
Ugh!
Oh,
it hurts like hell!
l can't get it --
uh-oh.
Yeah, that's
stuck in there.
[ siren wailing ]
[ tires screech ]
Oh, l'm sorry,
officer.
Did l do
something wro--
[ screams ]
[ roars ]
[ women screaming ]
[ whoosh ]
[ ding ]
Way to go, champ!
That was a
great shot!
[ whoosh ]
[ ding ]
Come on, son!
Are you
even trying?!
You got to get
your head in the
game!
[ acoustic guitar playing ]
[ horse whinnying ]
♪ Just some
noble Dukes ♪
♪ Never mean
to offend ♪
♪ Just screwing
with the King
and doin'
improper things ♪
♪ Near the
century's end ♪
♪ Drainin' the well ♪
♪ Untying the loop ♪
♪ Wanna marry
cousin Fran, and
in this era they can ♪
♪ So it ain't
no big whoop ♪
♪ Not much
more to say ♪
♪ After who,
when, and how ♪
♪ ln fact,
this song begins to
repeat itself
right about now ♪
♪ Just some
noble Dukes ♪
♪ Why they do
this is vague ♪
♪ But let them
have their fun,
'cause in no
time they'll be
dead from
the plague ♪
A-whoopie!
[ splash! ]
l don't know.
Seems like cheatin'.
Well, should we
throw it back?
Let me know
what you come up
with, fellas!
Thank you,
my Libertarian
friends, for
making us your
nominees for
President and
Vice President of the
United States of America!
1984 is the year of the
Libertarian party!
We will be
champions!
Yes, unfortunately, the rock band
Queen won't let us play
their hit
''We are the champions,''
But enjoy this
soundalike,
which we will play
in the
White House!
♪ We are the
victors of the
globe ♪
♪ And we'll continue doing
stuff... ♪
Four years ago,
l said we
would be champions!
How wrong l was.
Ronald Reagan
soundly beat us.
ln fact,
we received less
than 1 % of 1 %
of the vote.
But it is 1988,
and the
country needs
to come together
like a family!
We are family!
We are family!
Don't worry,
Sister Sledge.
This is not your
copyright-protected
musical hit
''We are family.''
lt's something better.
♪ We are a
close-knit group ♪
♪ Coworkers and
acquaintances ♪
Four years ago,
we asked
America to
join our family.
America said no.
So we decided
to make loving
families of our own.
Who else wants
to get on board
the love train?!
Sadly, the
O'jays won't let
us use their hit song
''Love Train.''
Even though
it expresses
every political ideal
we stand for.
Next stop,
the White House!
Toot toot!
All aboard!
♪ Citizens of the earth ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Ride the friend
choo-choo ♪
♪ Ride ♪
♪ Ride the
friend choo-choo ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Ride the friend
choo-choo ♪
Well, sadly,
not a single
voter chose
to board the
friendship
choo-choo.
Worse,
despite using the
soundalike,
the O'jays still sued us.
And during the
16-year legal
battle, unsavory
private matters
were revealed,
resulting in the
spectacular
in-court suicide of
my beautiful wife,
Jeanette.
My wife, Sarah, also
committed suicide.
But, uh, that was
unrelated to the trial.
These tragedies
taught us
that life,
like voting for a
third party,
are ultimately
meaningless.
So i-in the end,
all we, the
Libertarian party,
are is dust in the wind!
Dut! Dut!
Dut! Dut! Dut!
l mean, all of
us is airborne mini dirt.
Airborne
mini dirt, y'all!
♪ All of us is
airborne mini dirt ♪
So, as you
can see, the
square root of
negative one is
the imaginary
number ''l.''
l don't get it.
Oh, now l ge--
[ vomiting ]
Clark!
lt's me -- Lois!
Oh, my God,
what happened to you?
Give me
your boobs.
Ugh!
They're in
your head if you
look inside of the
microscope or
acutes if you're
bound to find
them,
'cause they're so prevalent.
l'm made
of chocolate!
Oh, Whillikers,
Mr. Kent!
You look awful!
Let's get you home.
[ tires screech ]
You better
drink up, fishes,
'cause you need
to be drinking!
Uh-oh, looks
like Clark was
exposed to some
red Kryptonite.
l better --
Hey, wait a minute.
Oh, hey,
that looks like fun.
Say, what do
you guys do with
your regular clothes
when you turn super?
Mine disappear
when l spin around.
Mine just go
into my ring.
Uh,
l don't know.
l just drop mine
in the street, l guess.
l'm saving lives!
Hmm.
l thought so.
[ indistinct talking ]
Ew!
The leader
of the band!
His blood runs
through my instruments!
[ saxophone playing ]
[ video-game music playing ]
This is boring!
But it doesn't
have to be!
Wait till you
try the latest
Wii Fit game,
''Humping Robot.''
Wow!
[ fast-paced music playing ]
Awesome!
Can l play?
Sure!
lt's fun for the
whole family.
[ banging ]
[ dinging ]
Aah!
[ match strikes ]
l want to play.
''Humping Robot''
for Wii Fit.
Get your
copy today.
Repetitive stress
disorder may
lead to total
failure of the
pelvis.
Okay, our lead
story is the
Zoning-commission
scandal.
Next up,
Metro section.
Kent,
what do you got?!
The Jeffersons
are on Saturn!
The robot's in
the foreground in
my head,
screaming!
Good.
Go with that.
Who says homeless
people are useless?
[ laughs ]
Up, up, and away.
[ slurp ]
Excuse me, frog.
Can you help me
get across the river?
l could ride
on your back.
Oh, but you're
a scorpion.
You'll sting me!
No!
We'd both drown.
Why would l do that?
Hmm.
Okay!
[ sword unsheathes ]
What the fuck.
lt's in my nature!
Fuck you!
Ow!
You shot me!
Blowing your
brains out is my
Fucking nature!
Relax!
We made it! Chill!
Chill this, asshole!
[ panting ]
Excuse me,
sir, might you
give a tired
gerbil a ride across?
l promise not to
crawl into your
ass or anything.
But why?
lt's in my nature.
[ farting ]
Ugh!
Got to cut
back on the
smurfberries.
All that
fiber turns my
intestines into a
smurfing log flume.
Huh, wonder who
the page-three girl is.
Gee, Smurfette.
Shocker.
[ toilette flushes ]
Uh-oh. Oh, no.
Go down.
Go down.
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Oh, oh! Smurf
me up the smurf!
The village
septic tank is
smurfed to hell!
Well, Handy,
we're a
communist society,
so hurry up
and fix it for free.
You don't
understand!
The tank ruptured.
The sewage has
smurfed into the
water table.
[ bubbling ]
Ugh!
Uncle Gallio,
l feel sick.
Everything
tastes like rotten
smurfberries.
Our water
has been
contaminated,
Allstar.
So how does a
test tube work
underwater,
exactly?
lt doesn't take
a scientist
to figure out
those jerk-ass
Smurfs are dumping
crap in our
lake again!
Are those
flying fish?
l hate
flying fish!
Are those
flying fish stuffed
with dynamite?!
l hate
flying fish stuffed
with --
[ Smurfs screaming ]
l really have
an ethical
problem with this.
What?
They're volunteering.
Just remember,
72 fish virgins
await you
in fish heaven.
To me,
my Smurfs!
lt's war!
War!
[ Smurfs screaming ]
[ ears ringing ]
[ nasally ]
l can't hear!
l can't hear!
You couldn't
hear before!
Your name is
deaf Smurf, for
God's sakes!
Oh, yeah!
Well,
it still sucks!
See?
Like ''Braveheart''!
A present!
Everyone, stop
picking up the
presents!
[ slow-motion ]
St-o-o-o-o-op!
Everyone
listen to me.
We're gonna
outflank them with
a pincer
maneuver!
Then we'll
encircle them with
a Blitzkrieg!
You don't know
what you're
smurfing about,
Brainy!
Papa Smurf
said l'm in
charge, and
Papa Smurf is always
right, because
Papa Smurf --
[ whirl! ]
Hey, it's true!
The brain does
stay alive after
de-Smurfitation.
[ gulping ]
Aah!
Stop it, you
stupid boys!
This isn't
accomplishing
anything!
Are you a f--
are you a f--
a female?
Well, sure l am.
Why?
[ groans ]
We thought there
was only one
girl in the whole
world, this
tired, old worn-out
whore over here!
Hey!
So it's agreed.
We'll stop Smurfing
our turds in
your lake.
[ Snorks cheering ]
And in return,
we shall give
you photos of
our women.
[ Smurfs cheering ]
To masturbate to.
Yes, to
masturbate to.
[ Smurfs cheering ]
Unbelievable!
Rotten
scum-bag men.
Ugh!
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
[ gurgling ]
[ laughs ]
Stupid fish!
Get in the
fucking pan!
[ sizzling ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
[ electricity crackling ]
lt's alive!
Oh, no,
got an eyelash!
Ugh!
Oh, man,
it's in my eye!
Ugh!
Oh,
it hurts like hell!
l can't get it --
uh-oh.
Yeah, that's
stuck in there.
[ siren wailing ]
[ tires screech ]
Oh, l'm sorry,
officer.
Did l do
something wro--
[ screams ]
[ roars ]
[ women screaming ]
[ whoosh ]
[ ding ]
Way to go, champ!
That was a
great shot!
[ whoosh ]
[ ding ]
Come on, son!
Are you
even trying?!
You got to get
your head in the
game!
[ acoustic guitar playing ]
[ horse whinnying ]
♪ Just some
noble Dukes ♪
♪ Never mean
to offend ♪
♪ Just screwing
with the King
and doin'
improper things ♪
♪ Near the
century's end ♪
♪ Drainin' the well ♪
♪ Untying the loop ♪
♪ Wanna marry
cousin Fran, and
in this era they can ♪
♪ So it ain't
no big whoop ♪
♪ Not much
more to say ♪
♪ After who,
when, and how ♪
♪ ln fact,
this song begins to
repeat itself
right about now ♪
♪ Just some
noble Dukes ♪
♪ Why they do
this is vague ♪
♪ But let them
have their fun,
'cause in no
time they'll be
dead from
the plague ♪
A-whoopie!
[ splash! ]
l don't know.
Seems like cheatin'.
Well, should we
throw it back?
Let me know
what you come up
with, fellas!
Thank you,
my Libertarian
friends, for
making us your
nominees for
President and
Vice President of the
United States of America!
1984 is the year of the
Libertarian party!
We will be
champions!
Yes, unfortunately, the rock band
Queen won't let us play
their hit
''We are the champions,''
But enjoy this
soundalike,
which we will play
in the
White House!
♪ We are the
victors of the
globe ♪
♪ And we'll continue doing
stuff... ♪
Four years ago,
l said we
would be champions!
How wrong l was.
Ronald Reagan
soundly beat us.
ln fact,
we received less
than 1 % of 1 %
of the vote.
But it is 1988,
and the
country needs
to come together
like a family!
We are family!
We are family!
Don't worry,
Sister Sledge.
This is not your
copyright-protected
musical hit
''We are family.''
lt's something better.
♪ We are a
close-knit group ♪
♪ Coworkers and
acquaintances ♪
Four years ago,
we asked
America to
join our family.
America said no.
So we decided
to make loving
families of our own.
Who else wants
to get on board
the love train?!
Sadly, the
O'jays won't let
us use their hit song
''Love Train.''
Even though
it expresses
every political ideal
we stand for.
Next stop,
the White House!
Toot toot!
All aboard!
♪ Citizens of the earth ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ Ride the friend
choo-choo ♪
♪ Ride ♪
♪ Ride the
friend choo-choo ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Ride the friend
choo-choo ♪
Well, sadly,
not a single
voter chose
to board the
friendship
choo-choo.
Worse,
despite using the
soundalike,
the O'jays still sued us.
And during the
16-year legal
battle, unsavory
private matters
were revealed,
resulting in the
spectacular
in-court suicide of
my beautiful wife,
Jeanette.
My wife, Sarah, also
committed suicide.
But, uh, that was
unrelated to the trial.
These tragedies
taught us
that life,
like voting for a
third party,
are ultimately
meaningless.
So i-in the end,
all we, the
Libertarian party,
are is dust in the wind!
Dut! Dut!
Dut! Dut! Dut!
l mean, all of
us is airborne mini dirt.
Airborne
mini dirt, y'all!
♪ All of us is
airborne mini dirt ♪
So, as you
can see, the
square root of
negative one is
the imaginary
number ''l.''
l don't get it.
Oh, now l ge--
[ vomiting ]
Clark!
lt's me -- Lois!
Oh, my God,
what happened to you?
Give me
your boobs.
Ugh!
They're in
your head if you
look inside of the
microscope or
acutes if you're
bound to find
them,
'cause they're so prevalent.
l'm made
of chocolate!
Oh, Whillikers,
Mr. Kent!
You look awful!
Let's get you home.
[ tires screech ]
You better
drink up, fishes,
'cause you need
to be drinking!
Uh-oh, looks
like Clark was
exposed to some
red Kryptonite.
l better --
Hey, wait a minute.
Oh, hey,
that looks like fun.
Say, what do
you guys do with
your regular clothes
when you turn super?
Mine disappear
when l spin around.
Mine just go
into my ring.
Uh,
l don't know.
l just drop mine
in the street, l guess.
l'm saving lives!
Hmm.
l thought so.
[ indistinct talking ]
Ew!
The leader
of the band!
His blood runs
through my instruments!
[ saxophone playing ]
[ video-game music playing ]
This is boring!
But it doesn't
have to be!
Wait till you
try the latest
Wii Fit game,
''Humping Robot.''
Wow!
[ fast-paced music playing ]
Awesome!
Can l play?
Sure!
lt's fun for the
whole family.
[ banging ]
[ dinging ]
Aah!
[ match strikes ]
l want to play.
''Humping Robot''
for Wii Fit.
Get your
copy today.
Repetitive stress
disorder may
lead to total
failure of the
pelvis.
Okay, our lead
story is the
Zoning-commission
scandal.
Next up,
Metro section.
Kent,
what do you got?!
The Jeffersons
are on Saturn!
The robot's in
the foreground in
my head,
screaming!
Good.
Go with that.
Who says homeless
people are useless?
[ laughs ]
Up, up, and away.
[ slurp ]
Excuse me, frog.
Can you help me
get across the river?
l could ride
on your back.
Oh, but you're
a scorpion.
You'll sting me!
No!
We'd both drown.
Why would l do that?
Hmm.
Okay!
[ sword unsheathes ]
What the fuck.
lt's in my nature!
Fuck you!
Ow!
You shot me!
Blowing your
brains out is my
Fucking nature!
Relax!
We made it! Chill!
Chill this, asshole!
[ panting ]
Excuse me,
sir, might you
give a tired
gerbil a ride across?
l promise not to
crawl into your
ass or anything.
But why?
lt's in my nature.
[ farting ]
Ugh!
Got to cut
back on the
smurfberries.
All that
fiber turns my
intestines into a
smurfing log flume.
Huh, wonder who
the page-three girl is.
Gee, Smurfette.
Shocker.
[ toilette flushes ]
Uh-oh. Oh, no.
Go down.
Go down.
Oh, no!
Oh, no!
Oh, oh! Smurf
me up the smurf!
The village
septic tank is
smurfed to hell!
Well, Handy,
we're a
communist society,
so hurry up
and fix it for free.
You don't
understand!
The tank ruptured.
The sewage has
smurfed into the
water table.
[ bubbling ]
Ugh!
Uncle Gallio,
l feel sick.
Everything
tastes like rotten
smurfberries.
Our water
has been
contaminated,
Allstar.
So how does a
test tube work
underwater,
exactly?
lt doesn't take
a scientist
to figure out
those jerk-ass
Smurfs are dumping
crap in our
lake again!
Are those
flying fish?
l hate
flying fish!
Are those
flying fish stuffed
with dynamite?!
l hate
flying fish stuffed
with --
[ Smurfs screaming ]
l really have
an ethical
problem with this.
What?
They're volunteering.
Just remember,
72 fish virgins
await you
in fish heaven.
To me,
my Smurfs!
lt's war!
War!
[ Smurfs screaming ]
[ ears ringing ]
[ nasally ]
l can't hear!
l can't hear!
You couldn't
hear before!
Your name is
deaf Smurf, for
God's sakes!
Oh, yeah!
Well,
it still sucks!
See?
Like ''Braveheart''!
A present!
Everyone, stop
picking up the
presents!
[ slow-motion ]
St-o-o-o-o-op!
Everyone
listen to me.
We're gonna
outflank them with
a pincer
maneuver!
Then we'll
encircle them with
a Blitzkrieg!
You don't know
what you're
smurfing about,
Brainy!
Papa Smurf
said l'm in
charge, and
Papa Smurf is always
right, because
Papa Smurf --
[ whirl! ]
Hey, it's true!
The brain does
stay alive after
de-Smurfitation.
[ gulping ]
Aah!
Stop it, you
stupid boys!
This isn't
accomplishing
anything!
Are you a f--
are you a f--
a female?
Well, sure l am.
Why?
[ groans ]
We thought there
was only one
girl in the whole
world, this
tired, old worn-out
whore over here!
Hey!
So it's agreed.
We'll stop Smurfing
our turds in
your lake.
[ Snorks cheering ]
And in return,
we shall give
you photos of
our women.
[ Smurfs cheering ]
To masturbate to.
Yes, to
masturbate to.
[ Smurfs cheering ]
Unbelievable!
Rotten
scum-bag men.
Ugh!
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
[ gurgling ]
[ laughs ]
Stupid fish!
Get in the
fucking pan!
[ sizzling ]