Robot Chicken (2001–…): Season 4, Episode 11 - We Are a Humble Factory - full transcript
The creators imagine the alternate ending to Armageddon, what a new Star Trek character might look like, the excitement that is M.A.S.K. and the WWE's newest and upcoming challenger.
[ thunder crashing ]
[ drilling, sawing ]
[ electricity crackling ]
lt's alive!
And to all you kids under 18
And to all you kids under 18
watching ''Robot Chicken,'' shame
on your parents!
Okay, kids, who wants to
learn about different types of
leaves?
[ keypads clicking ]
Okay, who wants
to play on your
cellphones
and Twitter your
Facebooks or
whatever the hell
while l go
smoke behind that tree?
See ya.
[ clicking continues ]
[ lisping ]
But what about
the leaves?
Oh, my gosh!
Just like the classic anime
''Ranma Nibunnoichi.''
Whoever bathes
in the spring
of drowned girl
will become an
awesomely sexy lady!
So, the question is,
do l want
to be an
awesomely sexy lady?
Hmm.
[ harp plays ]
[ gasps ]
Oh, my gosh!
l've got
[gasps]
And l've
[gasps]
And this is
[gasps]
These are m--
Oh, it feels so
good to the hand!
That will be $68.50.
[ gasps ]
By which l mean ''free.''
what wonderful powers!
Hee hee!
[ rock music plays ]
Any tombs
you'd like to raid?
The Frank Miller one,
not the
Jennifer Garner one.
This may be
your final fantasy.
How about
a look at these
jewels, Batman?
♪ oh, she-shoo
she-shoo ♪
Hello, ladies.
Yes, good to see you.
Just another girl.
Oh, gosh!
These are so heavy!
Oh, let us help you!
That's good!
That's good!
You're really
helping, girls.
Ahh g-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.
Hey,
doesn't hot water turn
Ranma into
a boy again?
Hey!
Yeah!
Ew!
Ohh!
Gross!
Well, it's still
skin-on-skin
contact.
Whoopee!
Yes, l do
want to be an
awesomely sexy lady!
Hee hee hee!
Mammarize me,
forces of the universe!
Splash!
Splash! Splash!
And,
tragically, this is
where a young lady
drowned many years ago.
Was she hot?
The brochure
says she was
400 pounds with
a club foot and
chronic flatulence.
So...No.
Anyway,
back on the bus,
everybody!
Move it around.
Oh, no.
Hey, you
must be the new girl!
My name's Kaitlyn!
[ farts ]
Ew!
Dang it.
[ farting continues ]
Aah!
♪ How how how how ♪
l stubbed my toe.
[ whales singing ]
Oh, no!
You poor whale!
[ whale singing ]
[ synthesizers playing ]
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ No one knows
what's underneath
their mask charade ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ What's underneath are dudes
with regular faces ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ Helicopters that turn into
smaller helicopters ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ Cars open
their doors, which
sort of makes
them airplanes ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
Whose mask is this?
Why do we call
these ''masks,'' by
the way?
This is a helmet,
not a mask.
[ snickering ]
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ Do they know
''command'' doesn't
start with a ''K''? ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ The things they
turn into are
worse than they
were before ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ Do they
sell the gas to
themselves? ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ The show appears
to take place
in Arizona or
maybe rural
Nevada ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
Yes, Kim Kardashian,
soon my
plan will
come to fruition.
[ laughs evilly ]
Yes.
The excitement of
''The Black Hole''
Now on DVD!
[ suspenseful music plays ]
Don't miss
all the action!
On sale now!
Action!
[ growling ]
[ giggling ]
Don't throw it to me.
Don't throw it to me.
Oh, no, no,
no, not to me.
Don't throw it to me.
[ giggling ]
[ suspenseful music plays,
crowd cheering ]
[ music swells ]
[ crowd cheering ]
[ crowd booing ]
[ buzzer sounds ]
[ air whistling ]
[ growling ]
[ roars ]
Aw!
[ snorts ]
Two for flinching!
They don't hurt.
See?
Mighty mouse!
Why did you do
that to him?
He fucked
my sister!
Slow and easy, Max.
We don't want to
twist another
pipe.
Whatcha doin'?
Whoa!
Aah!
Aah!
Whoa!
So...
whatcha doin'?
We're gonna
drop a nuke down
this hole and
blow up the
asteroid so it
doesn't hit our
planet and
kill everyone.
That's weird!
- Why?
Well, my dad
and his team are
doing the same
thing on that
planet so it doesn't
hit us.
Hit you? You're the one
hurtling towards us!
lt's all relative, really,
objects in space,
and blah, blah, blah.
l just came up
to watch the
show.
lt should be
a good one.
Franken Berry
is part of this
nutritious breakfast.
[ spitting and coughing ]
[ dialing ]
Hello?
Frankenstein's
got his own cereal?!
l take it you
haven't seen
the Count Chocula
commercial?
[ spits ]
Shut the fuck up!
[ telephone beeps ]
Hand on a sec.
Hello?
Ah-who-o-o-o-o
do they think
they are?!
l know!
You're watchin' the
Franken Berry
commercial, right?
No. Boo berry.
[ spits ]
Who the hell
is Boo Berry?!
That does it!
l'm making my own cereal!
Baboon.
Cocoon.
Fafoon.
Legume.
Nanoom.
Aha!
Take two-o-o-o-o!
[ slate clicks ]
l'm frightened...
That l won't find a delicious
treat to snack on!
Why not turn those chills
into thrills?
[ gasps ]
The creature with
The Black Macaroons?!
And they're
not just for
snackin'!
Dip them in a
lagoon of milk to
make them part of this
nutritious breakfast.
Hope, hope, hope, hope!
Black Macaroons?
Free samples.
Straight from
the lagoon.
Ma'am,
would you -- okay.
Sir, would you
like to try some
fresh -- ma'am,
could l interest
you in a --
Fuck you.
Sir, they're black,
like y--
Sorry.
Sorry.
Black Macaroons?
[ chewing loudly ]
Should have gone
with ''Legumes.''
Writers,
welcome back to the
third season of
''Star Trek:
Next Generation.''
As you know,
the fans hate
Wil Wheaton's character,
Wesley Crusher,
and it's
starting to
get dangerous.
Dangerous how,
Mr. Berman?
[ click ]
Wow, that
billboard company
will print anything.
[ telephone rings ]
Big Al's
Big-Ass Billboards.
Sure, let me
write that down.
''Pepsi makes
you piss blood.''
Got it.
Dr. Pepper gettin' aggressive.
Big Al likes it.
So, what are we
gonna do about it?
We could fire
Wil Wheaton?
Can't!
His contract
is ironclad and
dipped in gold,
had all that
''Stand by Me'' heat.
We made some
foolish choices.
Oh, l know!
Let's introduce
a character so
bad, it'll make
Wesley Crusher
look good! Genius!
Uh, we could
just make Wesley better?
You! Out!
Now!
[ beeping ]
Snirkle!
Snirkle! Snirkle!
Let's have fun,
Wesley!
Snirkle!
Snirkle! Snirkle!
Darn it,
Snirkles, l can't
have fun right now!
l have important
work to do!
[ giggles ]
Someone needs a space banjo song!
♪ Ah ahh ♪
Snirkles, no!
[ banjo playing ]
♪ Snirkles snirkle
banjo song ♪
♪ We'll have fun
the whole day long ♪
♪ Listen and
you'll smile soon ♪
♪ Snirkle snirkle
banjo tune ♪
Hee hee hee!
Snirkle!
Snirkle! Snirkle!
Snirkle-e-e-e-e-e-s!
[ click ]
Uh-oh.
Any, uh,
last words?
Yes, please!
Thank you!
Tell my wife...
[ laughs ]
l love doing that.
John Cena
was supposed to
challenge me for this
championship tonight.
But apparently,
he got lost on
his way here!
[ crowd booing ]
That is a load of bull!
We saw Triple H
let the air out
of John Cena's tires!
Damn him!
l guess if
nobody's man
enough to
challenge me, l'll
just take my
championship belt
and go home!
[ rock music plays ]
lt's her! lt's her!
Dakota Fanning is in the
building, and,
man, she looks
pissed!
And let's not forget that
Dakota's new movie,
''WishMagic:
The horse that
wrote poems,''
opens Friday
in theaters across
the country!
l thought l
was here to talk
about ''WishMagic:
The horse that
wrote poems,''
but, apparently,
some son of a
bitch had to go
and run his mouth!
Hyah!
Unh! Unh! Unh!
lt's on!
lt's on now!
Triple H is in a
world of hurt!
Here comes
the good part!
Unh!
The Dakota-nator!
The Dakota-nator!
This match is
over if she can
pin him in the ring!
lt's John Cena!
He must want a piece of
Triple H, too!
Aah!
Ohh,
it's a damn double cross!
John Cena and Triple H must
have set up
Dakota Fanning from
the beginning!
Oh, damn them!
Damn them!
''WishMagic:
The horse that wrote
poems'' opens Friday!
Damn them to hell!
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
''WishMagic: The horse that
wrote poems'' opens Friday in
theaters across the country!
[ drilling, sawing ]
[ electricity crackling ]
lt's alive!
And to all you kids under 18
And to all you kids under 18
watching ''Robot Chicken,'' shame
on your parents!
Okay, kids, who wants to
learn about different types of
leaves?
[ keypads clicking ]
Okay, who wants
to play on your
cellphones
and Twitter your
Facebooks or
whatever the hell
while l go
smoke behind that tree?
See ya.
[ clicking continues ]
[ lisping ]
But what about
the leaves?
Oh, my gosh!
Just like the classic anime
''Ranma Nibunnoichi.''
Whoever bathes
in the spring
of drowned girl
will become an
awesomely sexy lady!
So, the question is,
do l want
to be an
awesomely sexy lady?
Hmm.
[ harp plays ]
[ gasps ]
Oh, my gosh!
l've got
[gasps]
And l've
[gasps]
And this is
[gasps]
These are m--
Oh, it feels so
good to the hand!
That will be $68.50.
[ gasps ]
By which l mean ''free.''
what wonderful powers!
Hee hee!
[ rock music plays ]
Any tombs
you'd like to raid?
The Frank Miller one,
not the
Jennifer Garner one.
This may be
your final fantasy.
How about
a look at these
jewels, Batman?
♪ oh, she-shoo
she-shoo ♪
Hello, ladies.
Yes, good to see you.
Just another girl.
Oh, gosh!
These are so heavy!
Oh, let us help you!
That's good!
That's good!
You're really
helping, girls.
Ahh g-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.
Hey,
doesn't hot water turn
Ranma into
a boy again?
Hey!
Yeah!
Ew!
Ohh!
Gross!
Well, it's still
skin-on-skin
contact.
Whoopee!
Yes, l do
want to be an
awesomely sexy lady!
Hee hee hee!
Mammarize me,
forces of the universe!
Splash!
Splash! Splash!
And,
tragically, this is
where a young lady
drowned many years ago.
Was she hot?
The brochure
says she was
400 pounds with
a club foot and
chronic flatulence.
So...No.
Anyway,
back on the bus,
everybody!
Move it around.
Oh, no.
Hey, you
must be the new girl!
My name's Kaitlyn!
[ farts ]
Ew!
Dang it.
[ farting continues ]
Aah!
♪ How how how how ♪
l stubbed my toe.
[ whales singing ]
Oh, no!
You poor whale!
[ whale singing ]
[ synthesizers playing ]
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ No one knows
what's underneath
their mask charade ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ What's underneath are dudes
with regular faces ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ Helicopters that turn into
smaller helicopters ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ Cars open
their doors, which
sort of makes
them airplanes ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
Whose mask is this?
Why do we call
these ''masks,'' by
the way?
This is a helmet,
not a mask.
[ snickering ]
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ Do they know
''command'' doesn't
start with a ''K''? ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ The things they
turn into are
worse than they
were before ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ Do they
sell the gas to
themselves? ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
♪ The show appears
to take place
in Arizona or
maybe rural
Nevada ♪
♪ Mask! ♪
Yes, Kim Kardashian,
soon my
plan will
come to fruition.
[ laughs evilly ]
Yes.
The excitement of
''The Black Hole''
Now on DVD!
[ suspenseful music plays ]
Don't miss
all the action!
On sale now!
Action!
[ growling ]
[ giggling ]
Don't throw it to me.
Don't throw it to me.
Oh, no, no,
no, not to me.
Don't throw it to me.
[ giggling ]
[ suspenseful music plays,
crowd cheering ]
[ music swells ]
[ crowd cheering ]
[ crowd booing ]
[ buzzer sounds ]
[ air whistling ]
[ growling ]
[ roars ]
Aw!
[ snorts ]
Two for flinching!
They don't hurt.
See?
Mighty mouse!
Why did you do
that to him?
He fucked
my sister!
Slow and easy, Max.
We don't want to
twist another
pipe.
Whatcha doin'?
Whoa!
Aah!
Aah!
Whoa!
So...
whatcha doin'?
We're gonna
drop a nuke down
this hole and
blow up the
asteroid so it
doesn't hit our
planet and
kill everyone.
That's weird!
- Why?
Well, my dad
and his team are
doing the same
thing on that
planet so it doesn't
hit us.
Hit you? You're the one
hurtling towards us!
lt's all relative, really,
objects in space,
and blah, blah, blah.
l just came up
to watch the
show.
lt should be
a good one.
Franken Berry
is part of this
nutritious breakfast.
[ spitting and coughing ]
[ dialing ]
Hello?
Frankenstein's
got his own cereal?!
l take it you
haven't seen
the Count Chocula
commercial?
[ spits ]
Shut the fuck up!
[ telephone beeps ]
Hand on a sec.
Hello?
Ah-who-o-o-o-o
do they think
they are?!
l know!
You're watchin' the
Franken Berry
commercial, right?
No. Boo berry.
[ spits ]
Who the hell
is Boo Berry?!
That does it!
l'm making my own cereal!
Baboon.
Cocoon.
Fafoon.
Legume.
Nanoom.
Aha!
Take two-o-o-o-o!
[ slate clicks ]
l'm frightened...
That l won't find a delicious
treat to snack on!
Why not turn those chills
into thrills?
[ gasps ]
The creature with
The Black Macaroons?!
And they're
not just for
snackin'!
Dip them in a
lagoon of milk to
make them part of this
nutritious breakfast.
Hope, hope, hope, hope!
Black Macaroons?
Free samples.
Straight from
the lagoon.
Ma'am,
would you -- okay.
Sir, would you
like to try some
fresh -- ma'am,
could l interest
you in a --
Fuck you.
Sir, they're black,
like y--
Sorry.
Sorry.
Black Macaroons?
[ chewing loudly ]
Should have gone
with ''Legumes.''
Writers,
welcome back to the
third season of
''Star Trek:
Next Generation.''
As you know,
the fans hate
Wil Wheaton's character,
Wesley Crusher,
and it's
starting to
get dangerous.
Dangerous how,
Mr. Berman?
[ click ]
Wow, that
billboard company
will print anything.
[ telephone rings ]
Big Al's
Big-Ass Billboards.
Sure, let me
write that down.
''Pepsi makes
you piss blood.''
Got it.
Dr. Pepper gettin' aggressive.
Big Al likes it.
So, what are we
gonna do about it?
We could fire
Wil Wheaton?
Can't!
His contract
is ironclad and
dipped in gold,
had all that
''Stand by Me'' heat.
We made some
foolish choices.
Oh, l know!
Let's introduce
a character so
bad, it'll make
Wesley Crusher
look good! Genius!
Uh, we could
just make Wesley better?
You! Out!
Now!
[ beeping ]
Snirkle!
Snirkle! Snirkle!
Let's have fun,
Wesley!
Snirkle!
Snirkle! Snirkle!
Darn it,
Snirkles, l can't
have fun right now!
l have important
work to do!
[ giggles ]
Someone needs a space banjo song!
♪ Ah ahh ♪
Snirkles, no!
[ banjo playing ]
♪ Snirkles snirkle
banjo song ♪
♪ We'll have fun
the whole day long ♪
♪ Listen and
you'll smile soon ♪
♪ Snirkle snirkle
banjo tune ♪
Hee hee hee!
Snirkle!
Snirkle! Snirkle!
Snirkle-e-e-e-e-e-s!
[ click ]
Uh-oh.
Any, uh,
last words?
Yes, please!
Thank you!
Tell my wife...
[ laughs ]
l love doing that.
John Cena
was supposed to
challenge me for this
championship tonight.
But apparently,
he got lost on
his way here!
[ crowd booing ]
That is a load of bull!
We saw Triple H
let the air out
of John Cena's tires!
Damn him!
l guess if
nobody's man
enough to
challenge me, l'll
just take my
championship belt
and go home!
[ rock music plays ]
lt's her! lt's her!
Dakota Fanning is in the
building, and,
man, she looks
pissed!
And let's not forget that
Dakota's new movie,
''WishMagic:
The horse that
wrote poems,''
opens Friday
in theaters across
the country!
l thought l
was here to talk
about ''WishMagic:
The horse that
wrote poems,''
but, apparently,
some son of a
bitch had to go
and run his mouth!
Hyah!
Unh! Unh! Unh!
lt's on!
lt's on now!
Triple H is in a
world of hurt!
Here comes
the good part!
Unh!
The Dakota-nator!
The Dakota-nator!
This match is
over if she can
pin him in the ring!
lt's John Cena!
He must want a piece of
Triple H, too!
Aah!
Ohh,
it's a damn double cross!
John Cena and Triple H must
have set up
Dakota Fanning from
the beginning!
Oh, damn them!
Damn them!
''WishMagic:
The horse that wrote
poems'' opens Friday!
Damn them to hell!
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk
bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
''WishMagic: The horse that
wrote poems'' opens Friday in
theaters across the country!