Robot Chicken (2001–…): Season 3, Episode 7 - Yancy the Yo-Yo Boy - full transcript
The dinosaurs face their Armageddon.
It's alive!
And relax.
Relax.
Mmm.
And that's what
happened to the dinosaurs.
Son, this is gonna hurt me
more than it hurts you.
Aah!
Really?
The whole budget's just a camera
and the van?
Dude, you're on.
Oh, now?
Oh, this is gonna
royally kick ass!
I know!
I'm gonna use the lie-detection
software to see which one
the producer told to lie to you,
and then you'll hit
the other one in
the face with your dick.
Boo-ya!
And I'll give you sloppy
seconds.
Up top!
Sloppy seconds!
This show is awesome!
Here they come.
Hi, I'm Barbie.
What's up? I'm Yasmin.
Bitches ain't lyin'.
So, Barbie,
how do you kick it?
Well, I'm a doctor, an
olympic skater, a scientist,
and a homemaker,
and I like pink.
Oh, snap.
We gots that in common.
And how about you, Yasmin?
How you get down?
I like a man who takes care
of me.
I enjoy clubbing... oh!
- And shopping.
I'm kind of a brat, and I
designed my own tramp stamp.
That's you and me, dude.
Mmm, I love salad.
Me, too.
She is lyin', dude.
Do you really enjoy salad,
Yasmin?
Well, I am more into meat.
You know what I'm talking about?
Oh, man.
Oh, she's telling t-the truth.
She's telling... the truth.
Hello, I was a space-shuttle
commander.
I have an R.V.
And a convertible.
Feels so good.
It's true.
It's true.
She likes it, dog.
She's likes it.
Oh, hell, yeah.
I choose you.
This is bullshit.
We still have 20 minutes
left on the show.
Is that the hot topic?
Oh, you the one.
Oh, baby, yes.
I knew I'd beat that whore.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you del... oh, you taste like
other men, though.
Oh, yes.
This is doing wonders for my
self-esteem.
Oh, you dirty.
I'm number one!
Oh I feel shit crawling on
me already, but I don't care.
And now please stand for our
national anthem.
You traitor.
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice,
Beetlejuice!
I'm sorry, baby,
but I have to go.
Oh, no. Unh-unh.
Don't even try it.
Today is your day with the kids.
You can't just dump them on me.
Baby, she's already said my
name three times.
I have to go!
Fine, then I want full
custody of the kids.
What?
You're really doing
this right now?
This is the second you choose to
drop this on me?
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice,
Beetlejuice!
Honey, she needs me right
now!
I need you right now.
Your kids need you right now.
Right now, you are being
ridiculous.
Ugh!
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice
mother fucking Beetlejuice!
You are made of bitch.
The winner!
Are you... what?
We both hit the target in
exactly the same spot.
He simply went second.
No, Robin Hood wins.
Wait.
That's Robin Hood?
I'd gladly pay you Tuesday
for a hamburger today.
Oh, Wimpy, your FICO score
alone won't let me do that.
Oh, hamburger.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Oh, sweet hamburger.
It's Tuesday, Wimpy.
Where's me money?
Oh, dear.
Popeye, I don't have it, but I'd
gladly pay you Tues...
You forced me to do this.
No! No!
Not the spinach!
Aah!
No!
Oh!
Wait.
Wait.
Stop, please.
I'll suck your dick.
Well, blow me down.
I'd gladly pay you Tues...
Man, I wish I was a
superhero.
I would rescue girls who would
show me their boobs.
I would use my x-ray vision to
look at boobs.
And then I would... boobs.
Hello!
Down here!
Alien invaders,
I mean you no harm.
Parlez-vous anglais?
Sweet bouncing klingons!
A supersuit!
Here I come, bad guys... and
boobs...
and not necessarily in
that order.
♪ Believe it or don't ♪
♪ I'm fly... ♪
Hey, kid, we forgot to
include the instruction manual.
Uh, I'll just, uh,
leave it here,
then read it when you...
got to go.
Bye.
Special Agent Bill Maxwell,
FBI.
We got a report of a UFO in the
area.
That looks like alien supersuit
technology.
Probably bonded to your DNA
already.
No point in trying to remove it.
Well, come on, kid.
Time to save the world.
♪ Believe it or don't ♪
♪ I'm flying around ♪
♪ I never figured I'd feel
so... ♪
♪ This costume rides up in the
crack of my ass ♪
♪ I'm making history ♪
♪ It looks like Robert Culp
and me ♪
Same time tomorrow, kid.
Sorry, clerical error.
We kind of need the suit back.
Thank you.
Uh, his third leg is tiny.
Tiny third leg.
Bye.
Hey, we're raising money
for... ugh.
His penis is tiny.
Hi, penis.
Ah, boo-boo-boo-boo.
There you are.
You're a tiny penis.
Yes, you are.
Oh, who's a tiny penis?
Who's a tiny penis?
You are.
Oh, you're so cute, aren't you?
How tiny.
Dang it.
Ow!
Do I go to a hospital or a
mechanic?
Uh, what's the sitches,
bitches?
I'm Richie Rich,
and welcome to my crib!
Yo, this my groom room.
All these hands may look alike,
but only one has a brown pinkie.
Jackpot!
I got so much money, I even got
my dog gold-plated.
He wasn't dead.
I just wanted him gold-plated.
And I gets what I want.
I want my dog gold-plated.
Gold-plated dog!
This is my throne room.
I like to come here,
think about how I got so
mother fucking rich.
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
Looks like I'm about to drop
another grand.
Uh, that's right.
I shit gold bricks.
This is where the magic happens.
And this is where I fuck
just ask Irona.
She's seen it all.
Or better yet, check out my
supersweet sex tape.
You ain't a real playa unless
you got one, bitch.
Operator, connect me to the
moon.
And, of course,
this is the pool.
This is where I get a great view
of my assets.
Yo, turn over, ladies.
Let me look at my assets.
They say I'm the richest boy on
Earth,
but I say why stop there
mother fucker?
Check it out.
I don't make money.
I pose for money.
You showing off your
inheritance, son?
Shut up, old money!
Now let's go see some
mother fucking cars.
Hey, you might want
to put on a helmet
so it don't make a mess
when I blow your mind.
I used to be all about style,
but then I realized I should get
a hybrid... half Bentley,
half monster truck, that is.
Blam!
Talk about great mileage.
This thing gets 7 feet for one
tank of gas.
Anyway,
that's my crib.
I got to go 'cause I'm late for
my vacation... in my backyard!
I'm out, bitch.
Blam!
Yeah, that's right.
Your drink, sir.
Awesome.
Hold on, Cadbury.
I got a tip for you.
No, it's quite all right,
sir.
No, no, no.
I insist, I insist.
Oh, please stop.
No, sir.
Sir, sir, don't... don't...
no, sir.
Please,
it's quite all right.
Shh, shh, shh.
I'm gonna get you a tip.
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
Ah, there you go.
And relax.
Relax.
Mmm.
And that's what
happened to the dinosaurs.
Son, this is gonna hurt me
more than it hurts you.
Aah!
Really?
The whole budget's just a camera
and the van?
Dude, you're on.
Oh, now?
Oh, this is gonna
royally kick ass!
I know!
I'm gonna use the lie-detection
software to see which one
the producer told to lie to you,
and then you'll hit
the other one in
the face with your dick.
Boo-ya!
And I'll give you sloppy
seconds.
Up top!
Sloppy seconds!
This show is awesome!
Here they come.
Hi, I'm Barbie.
What's up? I'm Yasmin.
Bitches ain't lyin'.
So, Barbie,
how do you kick it?
Well, I'm a doctor, an
olympic skater, a scientist,
and a homemaker,
and I like pink.
Oh, snap.
We gots that in common.
And how about you, Yasmin?
How you get down?
I like a man who takes care
of me.
I enjoy clubbing... oh!
- And shopping.
I'm kind of a brat, and I
designed my own tramp stamp.
That's you and me, dude.
Mmm, I love salad.
Me, too.
She is lyin', dude.
Do you really enjoy salad,
Yasmin?
Well, I am more into meat.
You know what I'm talking about?
Oh, man.
Oh, she's telling t-the truth.
She's telling... the truth.
Hello, I was a space-shuttle
commander.
I have an R.V.
And a convertible.
Feels so good.
It's true.
It's true.
She likes it, dog.
She's likes it.
Oh, hell, yeah.
I choose you.
This is bullshit.
We still have 20 minutes
left on the show.
Is that the hot topic?
Oh, you the one.
Oh, baby, yes.
I knew I'd beat that whore.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, you del... oh, you taste like
other men, though.
Oh, yes.
This is doing wonders for my
self-esteem.
Oh, you dirty.
I'm number one!
Oh I feel shit crawling on
me already, but I don't care.
And now please stand for our
national anthem.
You traitor.
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice,
Beetlejuice!
I'm sorry, baby,
but I have to go.
Oh, no. Unh-unh.
Don't even try it.
Today is your day with the kids.
You can't just dump them on me.
Baby, she's already said my
name three times.
I have to go!
Fine, then I want full
custody of the kids.
What?
You're really doing
this right now?
This is the second you choose to
drop this on me?
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice,
Beetlejuice!
Honey, she needs me right
now!
I need you right now.
Your kids need you right now.
Right now, you are being
ridiculous.
Ugh!
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice
mother fucking Beetlejuice!
You are made of bitch.
The winner!
Are you... what?
We both hit the target in
exactly the same spot.
He simply went second.
No, Robin Hood wins.
Wait.
That's Robin Hood?
I'd gladly pay you Tuesday
for a hamburger today.
Oh, Wimpy, your FICO score
alone won't let me do that.
Oh, hamburger.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Oh, sweet hamburger.
It's Tuesday, Wimpy.
Where's me money?
Oh, dear.
Popeye, I don't have it, but I'd
gladly pay you Tues...
You forced me to do this.
No! No!
Not the spinach!
Aah!
No!
Oh!
Wait.
Wait.
Stop, please.
I'll suck your dick.
Well, blow me down.
I'd gladly pay you Tues...
Man, I wish I was a
superhero.
I would rescue girls who would
show me their boobs.
I would use my x-ray vision to
look at boobs.
And then I would... boobs.
Hello!
Down here!
Alien invaders,
I mean you no harm.
Parlez-vous anglais?
Sweet bouncing klingons!
A supersuit!
Here I come, bad guys... and
boobs...
and not necessarily in
that order.
♪ Believe it or don't ♪
♪ I'm fly... ♪
Hey, kid, we forgot to
include the instruction manual.
Uh, I'll just, uh,
leave it here,
then read it when you...
got to go.
Bye.
Special Agent Bill Maxwell,
FBI.
We got a report of a UFO in the
area.
That looks like alien supersuit
technology.
Probably bonded to your DNA
already.
No point in trying to remove it.
Well, come on, kid.
Time to save the world.
♪ Believe it or don't ♪
♪ I'm flying around ♪
♪ I never figured I'd feel
so... ♪
♪ This costume rides up in the
crack of my ass ♪
♪ I'm making history ♪
♪ It looks like Robert Culp
and me ♪
Same time tomorrow, kid.
Sorry, clerical error.
We kind of need the suit back.
Thank you.
Uh, his third leg is tiny.
Tiny third leg.
Bye.
Hey, we're raising money
for... ugh.
His penis is tiny.
Hi, penis.
Ah, boo-boo-boo-boo.
There you are.
You're a tiny penis.
Yes, you are.
Oh, who's a tiny penis?
Who's a tiny penis?
You are.
Oh, you're so cute, aren't you?
How tiny.
Dang it.
Ow!
Do I go to a hospital or a
mechanic?
Uh, what's the sitches,
bitches?
I'm Richie Rich,
and welcome to my crib!
Yo, this my groom room.
All these hands may look alike,
but only one has a brown pinkie.
Jackpot!
I got so much money, I even got
my dog gold-plated.
He wasn't dead.
I just wanted him gold-plated.
And I gets what I want.
I want my dog gold-plated.
Gold-plated dog!
This is my throne room.
I like to come here,
think about how I got so
mother fucking rich.
Uh-oh, uh-oh.
Looks like I'm about to drop
another grand.
Uh, that's right.
I shit gold bricks.
This is where the magic happens.
And this is where I fuck
just ask Irona.
She's seen it all.
Or better yet, check out my
supersweet sex tape.
You ain't a real playa unless
you got one, bitch.
Operator, connect me to the
moon.
And, of course,
this is the pool.
This is where I get a great view
of my assets.
Yo, turn over, ladies.
Let me look at my assets.
They say I'm the richest boy on
Earth,
but I say why stop there
mother fucker?
Check it out.
I don't make money.
I pose for money.
You showing off your
inheritance, son?
Shut up, old money!
Now let's go see some
mother fucking cars.
Hey, you might want
to put on a helmet
so it don't make a mess
when I blow your mind.
I used to be all about style,
but then I realized I should get
a hybrid... half Bentley,
half monster truck, that is.
Blam!
Talk about great mileage.
This thing gets 7 feet for one
tank of gas.
Anyway,
that's my crib.
I got to go 'cause I'm late for
my vacation... in my backyard!
I'm out, bitch.
Blam!
Yeah, that's right.
Your drink, sir.
Awesome.
Hold on, Cadbury.
I got a tip for you.
No, it's quite all right,
sir.
No, no, no.
I insist, I insist.
Oh, please stop.
No, sir.
Sir, sir, don't... don't...
no, sir.
Please,
it's quite all right.
Shh, shh, shh.
I'm gonna get you a tip.
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
Bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk
bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
Ah, there you go.